


Unspoken

by Sauffie



Series: Unspoken verse [1]
Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Angst, First Time, Fluff, M/M, Overthinking, deaf!Mike
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-15
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-03-23 02:31:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 209,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3751042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sauffie/pseuds/Sauffie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sometimes the most beautiful thing is precisely the one that comes unexpectedly and unearned, hence something given truly as a present."<br/>Anna Freud</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Match.com

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Scarlett_Liz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlett_Liz/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short introductory chapter for my new story. I've been wanting to write Donna/Rachel for a while now and so I'm giving it a try. Of course the main relationship is Marvey.  
> Hope you like it ! Let me know ;)

Mike is done packing his camera and tripod after a long day. He waves with a smile and leaves the stadium. Today he photographed a 2 year-old, a married couple and he’s just finished shooting a football team at Allerton Bronx Park. That last photo shoot was fun, the players were young and definitely not camera-shy, he knows their coach and staff are going to love the result.

 

Mike’s been a photographer for 4 years and though his clientele is slowly developing, he’s still struggling. But when he decided to study photography, he knew he was never going to be rich. His Grammy had warned him that choosing this career was risky. Deafness is scary and most people tend to think that people with disabilities are less capable or that it’s too much trouble to deal with them. But it’s precisely his handicap that gave Mike his talent. After a car crash that left him an orphan and deaf when he was 9, Mike had to learn to rely on his sight and therefore developed an eye for detail. He can read lips and, though his speech sounds a little funny, he can speak and communicate almost normally. Of course, he also learned to sign and still uses it a lot.

 

Mike loves his job, but sometimes he wishes he had followed his Grammy’s advice and become a teacher for deaf students. He would be able to afford his own place and go on trips, see the world. Not that he doesn’t like sharing an apartment with Rachel, she’s his best friend and the perfect roommate, but he knows she’s going to meet someone one day and she’ll move out eventually. He’s pretty sure she would have already moved in her own place if it weren’t for him. She’s very protective and doesn’t want him to move out of Manhattan and in a crappy shoebox apartment, which is the only kind of place he could afford on his own.

Rachel is an associate at her father’s firm where she uses her mother’s maiden name. She actually wasn’t hired by her father but by another name partner who didn’t know who she was. Mike and her have known each other since they were preteens because his Grammy was her nanny and practically raised her, both her parents being very busy with their respective jobs. She learned the sign language but they don’t use it very often, mostly when they fight or Mike doesn’t understand what a person is telling him and she has to “translate” for him. Rachel’s his confident, the first person he came out to when he was 14, and life being what it is, she came out to him right afterwards. Mike helped her come out to her parents 5 years ago and she helped him cope with the death of his Grammy 3 years ago. Rachel’s parents adore him, they’re family.

 

It’s a little after 7 pm when Mike arrives at the apartment. It’s still dark, which isn’t surprising because Rachel isn’t usually home before 8.

They have their little rituals, little rules that they made to adapt to Mike’s handicap. For example when coming in a room and Mike is busy reading or working on his computer, Rachel signals her presence by turning the lights off and back on. They came up with that one after Rachel nearly scared Mike to death one night by placing a hand on his shoulder to let him know she was home. They didn’t have many adjustments to do in the apartment when they moved in three years ago, except for a red light, similar to the ones on police cars, that goes on when the doorbell rings.

He takes a shower and heads for the kitchen to cook a light meal.

When dinner’s ready, he puts it in the microwave and settles in the living room with his camera and computer to start working on the pictures he took today.

People think being a photographer is easy and fun, that you only need an expensive camera and an eye for framing. And that’s actually the fun part of the job, but that’s not all a photographer does. After a photo shoot, a photographer still has 4 or 5 hours of work to do on the pictures. He needs to have a close look at each of them, delete the very bad ones, crop the ones he’s not completely satisfied with, edit the lighting when needed, work on the coloring, airbrush the flaws and undesired details and make a selection before delivering it to his client. Mike is a perfectionist, he usually spends a whole day working on the pictures and that’s just for one photo shoot.

 

Around 8:30, the lights in the hallway finally go off and on and Mike turns around to smile at Rachel. She smiles back and makes a face before placing her hands on each side of her chest and signing the word “ _exhausted_ ”. Mike gets up from the couch and walks up to her.

“I made dinner.”, he says.

“Thank you, but I’ll go shower first if you don’t mind.”, Rachel replies with a grateful smile while toeing off her stilettos.

“Okay.”, Mike smiles and walks back to the dining room.

He saves his work and switches off his computer before gathering all his things and carrying them back to his room.

He’s placing the reheated plates on the table when she comes back, dressed in sweatpants and a tank top.

“So.”, she says, wiggling her fingers to catch his attention. “How was the shooting with the cute players?”

“They were really nice.”, Mike replies, placing his napkin on his lap. “I’ll show you the pictures. I also did a last minute photo shoot with a little boy, his parents called me because their son is deaf.”, he smiles sadly.

“ _Poor boy._ ”, Rachel signs with a sad face.

“How was your day?”, Mike asks, taking a mouthful of veggies.

“Long.”, Rachel sighs.

She holds up a hand, grabs a bite of her meal and rapidly swallows it down. Talking with food in her mouth wouldn’t faze Mike but it definitely would make it more difficult for him to read her lips.

“We’ve taken this huge case against one of New York’s best lawyer, Frank says he’s never won a case against him.”, she accentuates her words with raised eyebrows. “I don’t think I’ll see my bedroom very often until the trial, the guy’s trying to bury us in paperwork.”

“I’ll sleep for the both of us.”, Mike smiles. “I only have one photo shoot booked until this weekend.”

“I’m sure you’ll get some last minute things.”, she smiles back. “Oh!”, she grins. “I told you I signed on this online dating website?”, she asks and Mike nods. “Well, turns out I've been exchanging emails on and off with a girl for a month.”

Mike gapes and makes a gesture with his hand to urge her to carry on.

“Her name’s Donna.”, Rachel explains with a broad smile. “She’s a little older than me and there’s only one picture but _oh my god_ she’s beautiful and from- What?”, she asks when Mike frowns.

“ _Can you start over? Slowly?_ ”, Mike signs with a sigh.

“Sorry.”, Rachel blushes. “Her name’s Donna.”, she articulates and Mike nods quickly to let her know that he got that part. “She’s older than me, she’s 38 and she’s beautiful.”

“38?”, Mike asks with wide eyes.

“Yeah, I know.”, she says. “She works at a law firm too but she didn’t tell me her actual job.”

“Are you going to meet with her?”, he asks. "Why didn't you tell me?"

“It wasn't anything serious. Until today.”, Rachel blushes. “We’re been messaging all day.”

“I thought you were busy with work.”, Mike makes a face.

“Yeah well, I wasn’t until 4 this afternoon when we got the delivery. 46 boxes full of files.”, she replies and takes another mouthful, clearing her plate. “ _Hold on._ ”, she signs and leaves the table.

She comes back moments later with her iPad and sits on the chair next to Mike. He watches as her fingers expertly move across the screen until they stop and she hands him the tablet.

It displays a woman’s profile on a pink background. There’s a round picture of a smiley red-haired woman. She _is_ beautiful, Mike thinks, tapping on the screen to display the full picture.

“She looks nice.”, he says, looking up at Rachel who nods with a grin. “She’s looking for a woman who likes shopping and cooking and who isn’t afraid to stand up for herself.”, he reads. “Can I read your private messages?”, he asks.

“No!”, Rachel exclaims, snatching the tablet from his hands. “ _It’s private._ ”, she signs with a frown after she’s put it on the table.

Mike rolls his eyes and gets up to gather their plates.

“You should register too.”, she says when he looks up from the table.

“No way.”, Mike shakes his head.

She knew he was going to reply something like that. They’ve had a lot of fights about Mike’s dating habits. Or lack of thereof actually. He’s never had a boyfriend and says he’s never going to have one because “ _cool guys don’t date skinny deaf guys_ ”. He kissed a boy back in college but he learned the next day that it had been because of a bet the guy had lost. Needless to say he never tried to flirt again.

“Mike.”, Rachel sighs and follows him to the kitchen.

She places a hand on his shoulder and he turns around from the sink.

“We should go out together.”, she says. “I’m sure you’ll meet someone.”, she smiles encouragingly.

“I don’t want to talk about that.”, Mike shakes his head dismissively. “We’re going to fight again.”

“You’re 27, Mike.”, she purses her lips. “What happened in college is not going to happen again, it was a stupid teenager thing.”

“ _Please._ ”, Mike signs, rubbing his sternum. “I don’t want to talk about it.”, he repeats.

Rachel lifts her hands in surrender and walks back to the living room.

 

 

It’s still pretty early when Harvey comes home after a drink with his brother. Paul is with the New York SWAT team and though they live in the same city, they don’t get to see each other very often. One of the main reasons for that would be Paul’s working hours which are complete opposite to Harvey’s, another one would be that they aren’t very close. They’re very different, always have been and while they enjoy the occasional drink or dinner together, they do it more out of habit than out of true need.

Harvey’s just out of the shower when his doorbell rings. _Donna?_ It must be someone he knows, someone the doorman knows, otherwise he would have called. He quickly puts on a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt and walks the long corridor to the front door.

“What the fuck is this?” is what he hears when he opens it.

“You could have called.”, Harvey sighs, letting his guest in with a tilt of the head.

“Yeah you could have too!”

Alexander is his husband. Won’t be anymore once he signs the paperwork he’s currently shaking angrily in Harvey’s face.

“Look, Alex.”, Harvey clears his throat, following him to the living room. “I’m really busy with a case right now, I know I-“

“Yeah, yeah, always the same old tune!”, Alexander snaps, smacking the manila envelope on the coffee table. “Are you busy now? Were you busy last night? Actually, don’t answer that, I don’t wanna know.”

“We’ve been living apart for almost a year…”, Harvey replies. “There’s no point in staying married.”

“Yeah and we’ve been married for three years, I thought I deserved better than a fucking envelope!”

“Calm down. Want a drink?”

“No.”, Alex replies, rubbing the palm of his hands over his face. “Seriously, Harvey.”, he looks up. “Did you really think I would just sign these and have them couriered back to you?”

Harvey purses his lips and shrugs. Yeah he did think that it was just a formality.

Alex and him met when he purchased his first apartment 5 years ago. Alex had just started his real estate business and Harvey was one of his very first clients. There was an immediate spark between them and they had their first date on that same day. They moved in together a couple of months later and got married in 2012. Maybe they shouldn’t have because things started to get worse right after the wedding.

They both have a lot of character and have always fought. Small fights about Harvey’s long hours and mood swings, small feuds about Alex’s tendency to throw money out the window and almost pathological jealousy. Once they got married, they began to fight more often, Harvey would say “constantly”, and their arguments weren’t small quarrels anymore. They would sometimes spend days without speaking to each other.

So they broke up a year ago, after one too many fights. Or rather, Harvey broke up with Alex, who reacted like he hadn’t seen this one coming, and Harvey moved out and bought a new place. They’ve met with each other regularly since, whether at Harvey’s or at restaurants, supposedly to talk about their relationship, their future with or without the other, but each of these meetings has ended with the two of them sweating and panting in bed.

Divorce has never clearly been mentioned but when Harvey filed the papers earlier that day, he did not expect Alex to show up angry and visibly upset. If divorce hasn’t been mentioned, getting back together hasn’t either and the only logical outcome to their situation is divorce. So yeah, Harvey thought it was just a formality.

“You’re right.”, he sighs. “I should have called you, or warned you that the papers were on their way.”

“Actually you should have told me that you wanted a divorce in the first place!”, Alex replies.

“What else did you expect, for god’s sake?”, Harvey asks.

“I don’t know.”, Alex chuckles nervously. “A little respect? A heads up? But come to think of it, I should have known it was asking too much of you.”, he shakes his head and grabs the envelope. “You’ll have them signed first thing tomorrow.”, he announces, heading for the door.

“Alex, wait.”, Harvey says. “Look, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t need your apology, Harvey.”, Alex turns around. “Have a good life.”

Harvey jumps when the front door slams shut and he sights heavily and loudly. He knows he should have talked about it with Alex, at least call him. But talking was what they were supposed to do for a year and it turns out they just couldn’t, instead choosing to pretend for a night or a lunch break that everything was cool between them, that they were a happily married couple. But the truth is Harvey doesn’t love him anymore, hasn’t for a long time. He cares for him a lot, has a great deal of respect of him, but he isn’t _in love_ with Alex anymore. Love comes and goes, that’s why he had never settled down before and why he’s chosen to go back to one night stands since breaking up with him.

Speaking of which, he needs a drink. Preferably in good company. Man or woman, he doesn’t know yet.

 

 

Mike’s vibrating alarm goes off and, like he does every morning, he jerks awake and brings a hand to his chest, willing his heart to slow down. There isn’t a “middle” mode on his alarm and it never fails to nearly cause his heart to jump out of his chest, but that’s the only way he’s found to wake him up. He’s tried using his phone but it hasn’t proved very helpful, or at least not 100% effective.

Of course, Rachel’s already left for work, so he settles on the dining room table with his computer and bowl of cereal and starts working on the pictures he took yesterday. He’s got a big day tomorrow. He’s been hired to do a series of portraits of teachers of a school in the neighborhood. Which means staying in today, despite the delicious weather, and finish his work. Which also means no shower and no clothes and Mike’s all for that.

 

 

“What the hell are you doing in my office, Harvey?”, Donna asks with a pointed look.

“Rummaging around your computer.”, Harvey deadpans. “Amy let me in.”

Donna turns around and shoots an annoyed look at her secretary who blushes and looks down, whispering an apology.

“Oh, give her a break.”, Harvey sighs, his eyes still fixed on Donna’s computer screen. “You know she can’t say no to me, I’m name partner.”

“Just wait until I get my name up there too. What are looking at anyway?”, she asks and walks to her desk.

“Match.com.”, Harvey replies with a blasé nod. “And you’ve only been senior partner for a year.”

“What?!”, Donna shrieks. “Get off my computer, _now_!”, she orders, pushing him.

“Hey!”, Harvey laughs. “I was just getting to the fun part!”

“You’re a jerk, Harvey!”, Donna, red with both embarrassment and anger, shuts the lid of her computer.

“Oh come on.”, he smiles. “Who’s Rachel?”

“Get out.”, she orders, walking to the window, her arms crossed defiantly.

“Oh please! She seems sweet from what I’ve read.”

“Out.”, Donna repeats, her back turned to him.

“Look, I’m sorry for snooping around your computer.”, Harvey gets up and smiles at her sheepishly. “I didn’t come here to do that if that’s any consolation. I came here because I need your help on a case.”

That seems to get her attention.

“Harvey Specter needs my help.”, she says, raising an interested eyebrow. “I’m listening.”, she adds, sitting down on the ledge.

“Show me Rachel’s profile and then I’ll tell you.”, Harvey bargains.

“What? _You_ want my help and _I_ have to do something for you first?”, she huffs. “I don’t think so. I’m on a huge merger case right now anyway and my associate isn’t of any help, so hit the road.”

“ _Please_.”, Harvey gives her the puppy eyes. “I wanna know what she looks like.”

The corners of Donna’s mouth quirk up and she narrows her eyes at him.

“Fine.”, she concedes after a short moment because she’s been wanting to talk to him about Rachel anyway. “I’ll show you. But let’s make one thing clear first : I don’t care what you think of her and I don’t need your advice.”

“Okay.”, Harvey grins. “Scout’s honor.”

Donna rolls her eyes and moves to sit at her desk.

“Here.”, she says.

“Very pretty.”, Harvey nods approvingly. “Is she bi?”

“No, she isn’t.”, Donna sighs. “And even if she were, I saw her first.”

“Wait.”, he leans in and taps his index finger against his pursed lips. “I think I know her.”

“No you don’t.”

“I’ve seen her before.”, Harvey insists. “Oh yeah! That’s right. She’s an associate at Rand, Kaldor and Zane! Her name’s Rachel Pettyfer.”

“How the hell do you remember her name?”

“Told you, she’s pretty.”, Harvey smirks. “She’s on the case I need your help with.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”, Donna sighs dramatically.

“Nope.”, he smiles. “When are you meeting with her?”

“I don’t know yet, we haven’t talked about it. But she seems rather shy so I was thinking about inviting her to my birthday party this weekend.”

“That’s a good idea.”, Harvey nods approvingly. “Some people aren’t comfortable with the concept of dates, so maybe she’ll like meeting you with other people for the first time.”

“I’ll ask her. So what did you need my help with?”, Donna closes the browser tab and leans back in her chair.


	2. Remember?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much for your positive energy and very very kind words on the opening chapter. I'm so glad you liked it! Each of your kudos and comment is a great motivation. Here's chapter two, enjoy it!

**_RachelZee is online._ **

**TheDonna** : Hey! How are you today? How’s the case going?

 **RachelZee** : Hey… I’m good. Case is a nightmare. You?

 **TheDonna** : Fine, busy too. What would you think of meeting?

 **RachelZee** : Wow.

 **TheDonna** : I know we haven’t talked about it yet and we barely know each other, but I’d like to meet you. If you’re not ready, it’s totally fine.

 **RachelZee** : No, I’m good. We’ll have to meet at some point anyway :D I’m not going to be able to go out until this weekend, though.

 **TheDonna** : Perfect. I’m having a birthday party on Saturday night with my friends and I thought it’d be nice if you could come, what do you think?

 **RachelZee** : Oh god! I don’t know.

 **TheDonna** : Again, it’s fine if you don’t want to come but I thought it through and it felt like a great idea. If you don’t like me you can still talk to my friends or even better, you can leave at any point. What do you think?

 **RachelZee** : Well, that’s a good point. :D I guess I’m in.

 **TheDonna** : Come with a friend or two.

 **RachelZee** : Ok, I’ll ask around. Would you mind if we called each other sometime tonight? I’ll feel a lot more comfortable if I’ve already heard your voice.

 **TheDonna** : Sure. ;) Here’s my number: 917 358 987

 **RachelZee** : Got it. I’ll give you a call tonight, if I come home before 10…

 **TheDonna** : I usually never go to bed before midnight or 1am so feel free to ring me, okay?

 **RachelZee** : Okay. Talk to you later.

**_RachelZee logged off._ **

 

Donna heaves out a long sigh. She’s going to meet Rachel. Her first in-person meeting since she signed on Match.com a month ago, after almost two years spent mending her broken heart. It had been a shock when Lisa left her for another woman after 6 years of a cloudless relationship. Donna hadn’t seen it coming and was still very much in love with Lisa, she thought she would never recover from it. But time has passed and though she’s not sure her heart’s properly healed, she’s tired of being single. Tired of getting propositioned by men and never by women. And also afraid of growing old alone. She hadn’t expected to actually be interested in anybody on the website, but she wanted to give it a try. Rachel’s profile was one of the first she came across once she had filled out the search form and she instantly liked her. Her broad yet shy smile, her long dark hair, the words she used to describe herself… And she’s going to meet her in two days. She wonders if she should have told her she knew her full name and where she worked.

She tries to play it cool, like she does this all the time, like she isn’t nervous to meet her, like she has no doubt that Rachel will like her. The truth is she hasn’t felt that nervous since passing the Bar and isn’t confident about this meeting _at all_. While she’s 100% confident she’ll love Rachel, she can’t help but mentally list the reasons why Rachel wouldn’t feel the same: she’s older, hasn’t been on a single date in more than 7 years, is a busy senior partner, doesn’t want kids… _oh god_ , she could go on but she’s got work to do. And a party to plan. It’s her birthday and she’s Donna, so obviously everything has to be perfect, but Rachel coming puts another kind of pressure on her shoulders.

 

 

“Thanks a lot, Mr. Ross.”, the school principal articulates slowly and shakes Mike’s hand vigorously.

“No thank _you_ very much, Sir.”, Mike replies. “It’s been a pleasure. I’ll come by on Monday with a selection if that’s okay for you.”

“It’s perfect.”, the principal smiles. “There’s one more thing I’d love for you to do.”

“What is it?”

“Do you think you could come have a talk with our 5th-graders about your, uh, handicap?”, the man asks, rubbing his hands together nervously. “I mean, it’s admirable, you’re a amazing role model for-“

“Of course, Sir. I’d love to.”, Mike cuts him with a smile. “I’m not sure about role model but I love kids and I don’t mind talking about my disability.”

“Thank you, Mr. Ross. I’ll give you a call next week.”

“Email or text.”, Mike chuckles.

“Of course.”, the man blushes. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.”, Mike laughs. “I find it rather funny. Have a great evening.”

“You too.”

Mike smiles again and once he’s sure the man is done talking, he turns on his heel and heads for the door. It’s been a long but very nice day and Mike feels satisfied and content as he steps out on the sidewalk.

When meeting a client or any person for the first time, he needs to set a couple of rules. The fundamental one is to remind them to look at him when talking to him. It might sound obvious but it’s actually the thing he’s found people have the hardest time with. When talking about someone present in the room, about something in the room or in the area, people tend to turn towards that person or that thing. People look down and away all the time, they’re usually uncomfortable with looking at a person in the eye for a long period of time. Speaking clearly is of course another requirement as well as being careful not to cover the mouth. The latter also being a lot harder than it sounds but people usually respond really well to Mike’s disability. Lip reading is tiring and requires a lot of concentration since many words look the same even though they sound different, thankfully people usually gesture a lot while talking to Mike, miming things to make sure he understands.

Today was no different, all the teachers were really nice to him and some of them even tried to sign with him. He had lunch with them and the principal in the school cafeteria and one the youngest teachers, Lucinda, spent the entire lunch break glued to him. She even gave him her number before going back to her classroom.

It happens all the time and Mike has no idea why he’s so afraid to talk to men when he sees how successful his is with women. Rachel says it’s his smile and blue eyes. She may be right, but while he appreciates the attention, women do not attract him and he hates having to turn them down. It makes him feel like a jerk.

On his way back to his apartment building, he grabs a bottle of wine and Chinese takeouts. He doesn’t feel like cooking and Rachel probably had a long and busy day, she’ll enjoy a nice glass of wine and her favorite food.

 

 

It’s after 11 when Rachel comes home from work. The apartment is dark and completely silent. She turns on the lights, drops her briefcase in the hallway, takes off her shoes and jacket and walks to the kitchen. There’s a plate covered with foil paper on the counter and wineglass with a sticky note.

“ _In my room. Probably asleep. Wine is in the fridge. xoxo_ ”

Rachel smiles and carries the plate to the microwave for reheating. She pours herself a glass of wine and settles on a barstool around the counter. She should call Donna. And she’ll need to ask Mike if he’ll come with her to the party. She already knows it’s not going to be an immediate yes but she knows she’ll manage to coax him into going.

She takes a sip of wine and dials Donna’s number, her heart racing in her chest.

“Hello?”

“Donna? It’s Rachel.”, she blurts.

“Hey.”, Donna replies, rather seductively.  “Did you just come home?”

“Yeah.”, Rachel sighs. “Long day that ended with a meeting with the biggest asshole this earth has ever seen.”

She doesn’t know if she’s supposed to tell Donna more about her job now they’re going to meet.

“So, what exactly do you do?”, Donna asks and Rachel wonders for a second if she’s spoken that out loud.

“I’m an junior partner. You?”

“Senior partner.”, Donna replies.

“Big firm?”, Rachel asks, grabbing the plate from the microwave with her free hand. “I checked with a friend of mine at HR, there aren’t any Donnas at my firm.”, she chuckles.

“Pearson Specter.”

“Oh.”, Rachel’s heart skips a beat. “Really?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Nothing, um, just… uh. The big case I’m working on right now is against your firm.”, Rachel explains.

“Who are you against? Harvey Specter? Jessica Pearson? Louis Litt? Jeff Malone?”

“Harvey Specter.”, Rachel sighs, hoping Donna doesn’t remember her mentioning the meeting she just had.

“He can be an asshole.”, Donna laughs.

“Sorry about that.”, Rachel grimaces.

“It’s ok.”, Donna laughs again. “So, about Saturday? Have you asked your friends?”

“Haven’t had the chance yet but I think I’ll come with my best friend, Mike.”

“Good.”

“Yeah.”, Rachel says because she doesn’t know what else to say and she takes a mouthful of Lo Mein.

“Are you eating?”

“Yeah. Sorry, I’m starving.”

“It’s ok, bon appétit.”, Donna says and Rachel can hear her smiling. “I’ll let you eat and go to bed. Call me tomorrow?”

“Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks.”, Rachel replies. “Sleep well.”

“You too. Bye.”

“Bye.”, Rachel disconnects the call. “God…”, she mutters and smiles to herself.

Donna sounds exactly like she thought she would. Confident, smart and fun. She hopes she made a good impression but somehow she doubts it. She insulted Donna’s boss.

“Hey.”

Rachel jumps on her seat and lets out a small scream.

“ _You scared the shit out of me!_ ”, she signs with trembling hands.

“ _Sorry._ ”, Mike smiles and rubs a fist in a circular motion across his sternum. “Who were you talking to?”, he asks.

“Donna.”, Rachel grins. “We’re meeting on Saturday.”

“Oh that’s great.”, Mike smiles.

“Well, there’s something I want to ask you.”

“Sure.”

“Donna invited me to her birthday party and she said I could bring friends.”, Rachel explains and she gives Mike a small knowing smile.

Mike sighs and purses his lips. He likes meeting people, does it all the time for his job, he doesn’t have a problem with that but the only parties he attends are with his deaf friends from high school. It’s a lot less tiring. He’s been to a couple of parties with non-deaf people but he didn’t enjoy them fully. The topic of conversation usually revolves around his deafness, people want to know what it’s like to be deaf, compliment him on his ability to read lips, those who know a little bit of sign language want to show him… which is totally fine and well-intentioned but he sometimes feels like a circus animal. At least when he parties with his friends, they don’t talk about all that, he feels normal.

“Please.”, Rachel tilts her head. “I don’t feel comfortable going alone.”

“Is there going to be a lot of people?”

“She didn’t tell me.”, she replies. “I don’t even know where it is but she said we could leave at any point.”

“ _I’m not sure…_ ”, Mike signs.

“Please.”, Rachel insists.

“Fine.”, Mike sighs again. “I’ll go with you.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”, Rachel jumps from her seat and pulls him into a hug.

“I’m going back to bed.”, Mike pulls away and yawns.

“ _Thank you for dinner_.”, Rachel signs with a fond smile.

Mike winks and walks back to his bedroom.

Rachel quickly finishes her plate and puts everything in the sink, she’ll clean it up tomorrow morning.

When grabbing her phone to check her alarm after a very quick shower, she smiles when she sees there’s a text from Donna.

“ _I like you voice. I’m glad you’re coming and I can’t wait to meet you. No pressure, okay? Goodnight.”_

 

 

When Harvey’s alarm goes off the next morning, he takes a moment to try to remember why there’s someone stirring in the bed next to him. _Right_. After a long meeting with that douchebag Frank Prady, he went to a bar, drunk his weight in expensive scotch and met Andy. Or is it Henry? Ari? _Shit_. He brought him home and probably fell asleep before he could give him his little “ _That was nice but I’m not the cuddling type so please be on your way_ ” speech.

Reluctantly, he rolls around and takes a look at his (very skilled, it has to be said) lover for one night. Andy-Henry-Ari is stretching and yawning loudly and Harvey can’t help but feel guilty for what he’s about to do. Way easier to do when you’re still under the magical spell of endorphins, he realizes.

“Hey.”, Andy-Henry-Ari smiles sleepily.

 _Nice catch, Specter_ , Harvey thinks, answering with a small smile.

“Hey.”, he says and sits up on the bed. “I have a meet-“

“Don’t bother.”, the man cuts him with a smile. “I didn’t plan on staying the night, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”, Harvey replies. “I’m going to take a shower, help yourself in the kitchen if you need something before you go.”

“I’m fine, but thanks.”, Andy-Henry-Ari leaves the bed and starts picking his clothes from the floor. _Really nice catch_. “It’s a little embarrassing…”, he says, pulling up his pants. “… but I didn’t catch your name.”

Harvey laughs and makes a face.

“I’m Harvey.”, he says, holding out his hand.

“Well, it was nice meeting you, _Harvey_.”, the man smiles and shakes his hand. “I’m Harry.”

 _Of course_ , Harvey wants to reply because he almost had it right.

“Nice meeting you too.”, he says instead. “I guess your shoes are in the hallway.”

“Right.”, Harry smiles. “Have a nice day.”, he waves and leaves the room.

“You too.”, Harvey whispers to himself before tilting his head back against the headboard and letting out a long sigh.

That was awkward. He hears the front door shut and is about to get out of the bed when his phone starts ringing.

“Harvey Specter.”, he answers with the most assured voice he can produce after having been awake for less than 10 minutes.

“Either you hate me so much you don’t have my number in your contact list or I woke you up and you didn’t check the screen before picking up.”, he hears, followed by a devilish chuckle.

“Travis.”, he sighs.

“The one and only.”

“You didn’t wake me, I was about to leave for work.”, Harvey lies, walking to the kitchen. “What do you want?”

“Guess who I signed yesterday?”, Travis asks and Harvey rolls his eyes.

How the hell could he know?

“I don’t know, Travis, and I don’t care so why don’t you just tell me?”, he sighs.

“Uh oh, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I see.”, Travis laughs. “Alright, I’ll tell you. I wanted to call you yesterday to tell you but I got busy then I thought I’d call you early today to deliver the good news.”

“Come on, spit it out Tanner, I don’t have all day.”, Harvey says impatiently.

“Well, I got a call from a Alexander Blake-Specter.”, Travis announces and Harvey stops dead. “Ring any bells?”

“Of course it does, and you know it.”, Harvey replies. “What does he want?”

“Half a million dollar and your condo on 5th.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”, Harvey chokes. “He isn’t getting anything.”

“He is, if you want your papers signed.”, Travis retorts. “I was really surprised when he called me, I didn’t think you were the marrying type.”

“Hence the divorce.”, Harvey fumes. “I have actual cases to work on so if you don’t mind, I’m going to hang up now.”

“Of course, of course.”, Travis mocks. “Are you going to represent yourself, though? I need a name to send our offer to.”

“Go to hell.”, Harvey snaps and hangs up. “Son of a bitch!”, he yells, smacking his phone on the kitchen table.

Of course Alex went to Travis. He knows he’s Harvey’s nemesis. Long-time enemy or not, there’s no way Alex’s getting anything from him, he didn’t do anything wrong, Alex can’t ask for half a million dollars and a million-dollar condo. Or he can, but he’s never going to win. Harvey bought the condo in his name, that’s how they met.

He considers asking for Donna’s help for a second and quickly discards the thought, he can very well represent himself, he doesn’t need representation for an inexistent case.

 

Mike sleeps in, opens his eyes around noon and cooks himself a light lunch before settling on the dining room table and working on the pictures he took yesterday. He’s very pleased with the result, it looked good on the screen of his camera but it looks even better on the computer screen. The school is doing a teachers directory for the parents and one of Mike’s friends, Trevor, is in charge of designing it. Mike and his high school friends have created an association for deaf young workers, which puts them in contact with a network of registered companies. The association helps them with their job search, helps them prepare for their interviews and provides them with a place where they can make friends and share their experience with people with the same disability.

Trevor is president and Mike and him also help each other whenever they can. When Mike got the job for the pictures, he instantly asked the school principal if he needed someone for the graphic layout.

He spends half of the afternoon working on the pictures and the rest of it wandering around Central Park with his camera. Spring is his favorite season. Flowers start to bloom, animals are coming out of hibernation, everything’s slowly waking up, leafs, birds, people... And that makes beautiful pictures. Smiles, dog walkers who walk slower, buds, squirrels, hair flowing in the soft wind… a real treat for the eyes.

Mike sometimes wishes he could also hear the difference Spring makes. He wishes he could remember what cars going by sound like, what dogs barking sound like. He’s been deaf for 16 years and he’s forgotten all of that. It’s all gone with the memories of his parents, of what he used to be, of the old Mike.

They were driving back from a trip Upstate to visit Grammy. The weather was hot, Mike remembers that the all the windows in the car were rolled down, he remembers feeling the wind caressing his face, he remembers taking big gulps of the hot air and smiling when it made him burp. He remembers his mum turning towards him with pursed lips that turned into a smile after a moment. When he woke up in that hospital room after the accident, he didn’t remember much about the rest of the trip. Grammy was there, eyes red and puffy, holding his hand. The doctor asked something and Mike remembers not hearing anything. He remembers seeing the doctor’s lips move and asking him to speak up. That’s when he realized that he couldn’t hear himself. He could only feel a vibration in his throat. “ _Grammy, Grammy, Grammy, can you hear me? I can’t hear myself!_ ”. He remembers her tears, the doctor’s apologetic smile, the dozen exams he had to undergo in order to confirm what everyone feared: he was deaf. “ _Why? What happened?_ ”, he asked right after realizing he couldn’t hear. “ _Where are Mummy and Daddy?_ ” Tears again. And again. Grammy couldn’t stop crying. He read it on her trembling lips. “ _You had an accident. There was a man who didn’t know how to drive properly, he bumped into your Daddy’s car and… they’re gone, they’ve joined Paddy in heaven. Up there._ ” Gone.

Mike wishes he could remember their voice, he wishes he knew how Rachel sounds, how he himself sounds now. He had a hard time accepting he would never hear again, it took his Grammy almost two years to convince him to learn how to sign. But once he embraced his condition, nothing could stop him. He had always had a very good visual memory, _almost eidetic_ the pediatrician had once told his parents, so he learned to sign very easily and relied on his special skill to succeed in school and make his Grammy proud. He graduated with flying colors and chose to become a photographer. He decided to use his eyes to capture the beauty around him and help people create memories.

 

 

“Hey!”, Donna strolls in Harvey’s office, later that afternoon, carrying two mugs. “Where have you been all day?”, she asks, taking a seat on the leather couch and putting the mugs on the coffee table.

“Court.”, Harvey replies, not lifting his eyes from his computer screen.

“What’s wrong?”, Donna asks because she’s known him for long enough to know that he normally doesn’t use one-word sentences with her.

“Alex doesn’t want to sign the divorce papers.”, Harvey replies, getting up from his desk and shutting his office door.

“Oh.”, she says and blows on her steaming cup.

“You know who he called to represent him?”, Harvey sneers, grabbing the other cup and walking back to his desk.

Donna thinks she knows, there’s only one person Alex could hire that would upset Harvey that much.

“Yeah.”, he shakes his head and purses his lips. “Tanner.”

“Why did he hire a lawyer anyway?”

“Apparently, he wants half a million dollar and the condo on 5th.”

“What?”, Donna almost spills her tea. “But-“

“I know.”, Harvey sighs. “I have absolutely no idea what he thinks he has on me to ask for that and think he can actually get anything from our divorce but Tanner sounded rather confident over the phone.”

“Well, you could still sell the condo.”, she offers. “Why do you still have it anyway?”

“I can’t sell it, it’s rented. And I didn’t sell it when I moved out because I love it.”, he explains. “It’s the very first place I bought and I just finished paying it. It’s sentimental.”

“ _Right._ ”, Donna chuckles. “I wish I had recorded it. The great Harvey Specter has feelings.”

She knows he does, but even her hasn’t witnessed Harvey talking about his feelings that often. They’re very close, have been since meeting in a classroom at Harvard 15 years ago. Donna still remembers that day perfectly. Harvey’s smug smile when he came to stand in front of her table before their first class and introduced himself with a shit eating grin. She shook her hand with a raised eyebrow and told him her name. She remembers his next words exactly : “ _I think we’re going to be more than friends._ ” She laughed so hard she almost fell off her chair. She remembers how he didn’t falter, how he just barely frowned. “ _I’m gay and I’m not here to make friends so…_ ”

“I’m serious.”, Harvey says, pulling out of her thoughts.

“Sorry.”, she suppresses a smile. “Alex has got nothing against you, unless you’ve done something you haven’t told me.”

“Like what? Cheating?”, he asks, visibly hurt.

“Well, that’s about all he could have on you…”

“I didn’t cheat on him.”, Harvey says and goes back to his computer. “Thanks for the tea.”

“Sure.”, Donna sighs and gets up. “Let me know if you need my help.”

Harvey shrugs and she knows he’s pretending to be doing something very important.

“Oh, Rachel’s coming tomorrow.”, she smiles. “She called you the biggest asshole this earth has ever seen.”

“Yeah, I destroyed her and Prady last night at our mediation meeting.”, Harvey smirks. “You told her you knew me?”

“I asked her about her job and where she worked for which led her to tell me about the meeting you had last night. She was so embarrassed when I told her who I was working for.”, she laughs. “What do you think of her?”

“She doesn’t have what it takes to be a great lawyer, she’s predictable and can’t hide her emotions but she’ll do great.”

“That’s not what I meant.”, Donna sighs. “Does she seem nice? Smart?”

“Yeah, she seems nice, a little too nice for you come to think of it.”, Harvey replies with a playful smile.

“Jerk.”, Donna rolls her eyes and leaves the office.

 

 

Rachel makes it home a little earlier than she thought she would and switches the hallway lights on and off when she gets in after spotting Mike on the couch. He turns around and smiles.

“Hey.”, she smiles back. “Had dinner yet?”

Mike shakes his head and goes back to his computer.

She quickly walks to her bedroom to change into more comfortable clothes and joins him in the living room. Shower can wait, it’s Friday night and Frank said they didn’t need to work on the case until Monday, he told her to go home and rest.

“What are you working on?”, she asks when he looks up.

“My tumblr blog.”, he replies, placing the computer on her knees.

She scrolls down the page where Mike shares his favorite pictures.

“ _You’ve been to Central Park, I see._ ”, she signs. “They’re beautiful.”, she says.

“Thanks.”, Mike smiles. “I talked with an old couple, they thought I was mentally retarded.”, he laughs but Rachel can hear bitterness in his voice. “They kept repeating things over and over and talking to me like I was 5.”

“People are so dumb sometimes.”, Rachel rolls her eyes.

“How do I sound?”, Mike asks.

Rachel shuts the lid of the computer and looks away. They’ve never talked about it. When she met Mike 14 years ago, he had been deaf for two years and was learning how to sign. He could already read lips perfectly and though she remembers finding his diction funny, she got used to it. Sure, the kids in their neighborhood would make fun of him, call him retarded or weird, but she didn’t see him like that. She didn’t think he was different. If anything, and because her parents told her, she found Mike brave and smart.

“I don’t know.”, she replies. “You sound like Mike.”

“ _Please, I wanna know_.”, Mike signs. “I know I don’t sound like you all do, but people always understand me. Do I have a nice voice?”

“You have an amazing laugh.”, Rachel smiles. “It’s so communicative. Yeah, you have a nice voice. It’s, uh…”, she looks away again. “It’s soft. It’s like the words slide on your tongue, you know?”

Mike laughs and sticks his tongue out.

“Yeah, like that!”, she laughs. “Wanna watch a movie?”

“I’ve downloaded the new season of Suits.”, Mike replies, grabbing the computer.

“Great! Set it up while I prepare dinner.”


	3. Meetings (part one)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are amazing, thank you so much for the positive feedback on the two first chapter. Here's a long chapter to thank you! It's almost midnight here in Paris and I'm literally falling asleep but I really wanted to post a new chapter so it's a "part one". I promise to post the second part this weekend!  
> Yep, Harvey and Mike finally meet.  
> Enjoy!

Harvey intended to sleep in, to get a goodnight’s sleep in preparation of Donna’s birthday because he knows it’s going to last until Sunday morning. But he opened his eyes at 9 and was unable to find sleep again. So he put on his tracksuit pants and a t-shirt and grabbed his iPod.

There’s a gym in his apartment complex and he goes there two or three times a week before work but it’s a beautiful Saturday morning and he hasn’t gone for a good run in ages.

He lives a couple of blocks away from Central Park so he buys a coffee on the way and slowly sips it while observing how spring is transforming New York City. He can hear the birds singing and he smiles around the brim of his paper cup because that’s always the first sign. They’re back from their trip to the other side of the world, back to announce the sun and nice temperatures. Springtime means more time on his patio, hotdogs in the park near the firm for lunch. Springtime means people are done hibernating and are going to start calling for drinks and dinners. He’s paying a visit to René this afternoon to choose his new suit collection and finally can get rid of the coat and scarf which, not matter how expensive and nice, he thinks make him look like a seventy year old man. It’s always been his favorite season.

He’s about to start running when he spots a young man lying on the grass by The Lake, a huge camera in front of him. There are two ducks swimming at the water’s edge and he can hear the shutter sound of pictures being taken from where he’s standing. _Nice ass_ , he thinks with a smirk. He would never wear skinny jeans, and he hopes they quickly go out of fashion because _seriously?_ , but he has to admit they look good on the young man.

He considers trying to pretend he’s interested in photography and go talk to the guy but he’s not here to find his next bed partner so he quickly shakes the thought, selects a song on his iPod and starts running.

 

 

Animals aren’t Mike’s favorite subject to photograph but he can’t decently ask strangers to pose for him. Those two ducks will have to do.

He’s meeting with Trevor for lunch, he wants to introduce Mike to his new girlfriend. She isn’t deaf and it’s a first for Trevor. When Trevor told him, Mike realized he had never considered the question: would he rather be with a hearing or a deaf man? Trevor was born deaf and he cannot read lips so Mike is really curious to see how he communicates with her. Of course, Trevor’s going to start bugging him with dating again, he’s going to want to double date with Mike and he’s going to be a pain in the ass but Mike’s happy for him.

Mike doesn’t want to spend his life alone, he wants to share his passions with a man, learn to love someone’s passions, make plans for the future, go on weekends and vacations. He wants to meet someone. At some point. He just doesn’t know how. He’s ruled out online dating because he knows he’ll never have the courage to go from chatting online to meeting in person. He doesn’t go out very often and when he does it’s with his deaf friends. He doesn’t flirt, doesn’t know how to do it and not a single man has ever tried to flirt with him. There have been a couple of guys he was interested in but only one of them was gay and he didn’t seem interested in Mike. He knows his deafness can be discouraging. _One day your prince will come_ , his Grammy used to tell him with a fond smile.

It usually piques people’s curiosity, they ask him a lot of questions and he never gets tired of explaining how it works for him, how he manages to adapt, but it seems like people forget that he’s not just deaf, that he’s a person, that his hearing disability isn’t all he is, that he’s more than that. Tonight probably is going to go like that, he’ll tell his story and people will praise his resourcefulness. He’s dying to meet Donna, she’s the main reason why he agreed to go. He wants to meet the person who captured his best friend’s attention.

He puts the cap back on the lens of his camera and moves to a sitting position. This portion of Central Park is still pretty quiet and apart from a jogger he spots on the other side of the lake, there’s nobody around. He has another hour to kill before meeting with Trevor and his girlfriend so he decides to pay a visit to his favorite bookstore.

 

 

Harvey’s stretching on a bench, catching his breath, when he sees a familiar figure walking towards him from the corner of his eye. Its familiarity is confirmed when a small dog jumps on his leg a second later.

“Hey Barnie.”, he bends down to pet its head.

 _Crap_. Just as he was thinking of what a great idea it had been to go for a run, Alex, of all people, chooses this exact moment to appear.

“Harvey.”

“Alex.”, Harvey nods.

“Travis Tanner told me you sent him packing.”, Alex says, taking a seat on the bench.

“Of course I did.”, Harvey huffs. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Into _me_? You know, I was going to sign the goddamn papers.”, Alex replies. “But then I realized that I didn’t see why I’d let you have your way again. _You_ chose to leave me, I didn’t have a say in it.”, he explains. “Well, I’ll have a say in our divorce.”

“A say?”, Harvey snaps. “You’re asking for everything that I own!”

“Oh come on! You don’t care about that apartment and I know for a fact that you have a lot more than 500 thousand dollars in the bank.”

“You don’t know _shit_ , Alex. We’ve been separated for a year!”, Harvey shakes his head in disbelief. “I know one thing for sure: you’re not getting anything from me. I bought the apartment and our marriage contract stipulates that in case of divorce, we both get to keep what we had before getting married and what we bought in our name during our marriage.”

“I don’t care about what it says.”, Alex replies, getting up. “I’m getting exactly what I ask for or you can kiss your career goodbye.”, he says with a devilish smile.

“What?”

“You know exactly what I mean, Harvey.”, Alex gives him a knowing look. “I would think about it before hanging up on Travis Tanner next time he calls you if I were you. Come on, Barnie, let’s go home.”, he whistles.

“You son of a bitch.”, Harvey shakes his head again. “Why did you go see a lawyer if you planned on blackmailing me?”

“To spice things up.”, Alex smirks. “I know how much you hate him.”

Harvey looks away and closes his eyes.

“What’s going on?”, he asks, turning to Alex. “I mean, what exactly do you want? I know you don’t care about material things and you’ve got plenty of money, so what’s really going on here?”

“You don’t know _shit_ , Harvey, we’ve been separated for a year!”, Alex snaps, using Harvey’s exact same words. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go check out my future neighborhood.”

He turns on his heel and crouches down to clip the leash on the dog’s collar.

“Have you told Travis?”, Harvey asks after a moment and Alex pauses before getting up and turning around.

“Of course not. He told me I could never win this but I asked him to trust me.”, Alex replies. “You can’t win them all, Harvey. That’s not how it works in the real world.”

Harvey watches him disappear behind a thick bush and he exhales heavily through his nose. What the hell happened after Alex’s visit to his apartment 2 days ago? Who is this man and what has he done with his husband?

When thinking about what Alex could have against him, he would never have thought of that. It was a long time ago and Harvey’s worked hard and paid a lot of money to protect his secret. Part of him wants to call him on his bluff because there’s no way Alex’s willing to use Harvey’s secret against him. Not the man he met 5 years ago, not Alex. But it’s the only way he’s getting what he wants and he seems pretty determined to follow up on his threat. And he’s right, it would destroy his reputation and his career by extension. A lawyer’s reputation is his most valuable asset. It takes years to build one and once it’s destroyed or damaged, usually there’s no going back. Of course, Harvey wouldn’t get disbarred if his secret got out, but it would take a serious toll on his career and since he’s name partner, it would also put the firm in jeopardy.

He swallows hard around the huge lump that’s slowly taking up residence in his throat and shivers. The adrenaline rush he got from running is gone and he suddenly feels week at the knees. He sits down on the bench and fumbles in his tracksuit pocket for his phone, taking deep breaths in and out. He’s gotta think of something. Go to the police, take actions before Alex does. That’s why you should never completely trust anybody. Why you should never show all your cards, even to your husband. Because you just never know.

“Hey Harvey!”, Donna cheers when she picks up.

“I need your quick thinking on something.”, Harvey says dryly.

“Oh. Is everything alright?”

“No.”, Harvey replies, almost in a whisper. “I know what Alex has on me.”

“Okay.”, Donna says. “What is it? What can I-“, she pauses mid-sentence. “ _Oh my god_ … Is he threatening to release the videos?”

“He didn’t explicitly say it.”, Harvey replies, running a shaky hand through his sweat-damp hair. “But that’s the idea, yeah.”

“Are you sure he has them?”

“I don’t know, Donna, but I won’t take the risk.”

“You know he can’t legally release them without facing some serious charges. Go to the police.”, Donna advices.

“I could negotiate.”, Harvey thinks out loud. “Offer him half of the money he’s asking and… well, as much as I care about the condo, it’s not worth risking my job.”

“You’re not risking your job, Harvey!”, Donna exclaims. “Everybody’s got a past, what you did has nothing to do with your job or the career you built.”

“Of course it does!”, Harvey snaps. “What do you think our clients will think when they see the videos or even just learn about their existence?”

“First of all, you don’t know that they will.”, Donna replies. “And second of all, Alex cannot release them without your consent. It’s a felony.”

“If he does put them online or tip a reporter, he’ll do it anonymously, there are hundreds of way to do that. And by the time I manage to prove that it was him, it will be too late, I’ll be done.”

They both heave out a long and loud sigh.

“Go to the police, Harvey. Give them notice of the threat and file a report.”, she says in a serious voice. “I can’t believe he’s using that against you. I mean…”, she pauses. “… we’re talking about Alex here, what’s gotten into him?”

“I know…”, Harvey shakes his head and gets back up. “I broke up with him almost a year ago. I know he was upset but…”

“Go to the police, call me when you get out, okay?”

“Yeah.”, Harvey sighs. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

 

Donna hangs up and angrily puts her phone down on the coffee table in front of her. She’s always liked Alex. When Harvey introduced him to her, she instantly knew they would get along. Alex is a cool guy, very laid-back (and opposite to Harvey in that matter), he’s fun to be around and has a great sense of humor. Apparently, he’s also a resentful son of a bitch. She knows how much he loved Harvey, she knows it had been love at first sight for him, he said it in his wedding speech. But when Harvey broke up with him a year ago, things were different. They didn’t seem in love anymore, they were fighting constantly, and Alex was calling her a lot to complain about Harvey, to ask for her advice. They continued calling each other for a while after Harvey left but Alex put a sudden end to it 6 or 7 months ago. She totally understood, he was sad and trying to get over his failed marriage, he needed to cut ties with Harvey’s best friend. But he didn’t seem to resent Harvey, this is all so unlike him.

“Blake.”

“Alex, it’s Donna.”, she says in a professional tone.

“Oh what a surprise. Harvey sends you?”, Alex mocks.

“No, I’m a grown up woman, I make my own decisions.”, Donna tries her best to stay courteous.

“Sure.”, Alex snorts. “To what do I owe the pleasure then?”

“I wanna know what happened to my friend Alex.”, she replies.

“I have no idea what you mean.”

“Yes you do!”, Donna snaps.

“Are you recording this conversation?”

“What?”, she chokes. “Of course not!”

“Well, then, why exactly are you calling?”, Alex replies and Donna can hear the sound of keys being turned in a lock.

“What happened? Why are you threatening Harvey?”

“Harvey, Harvey, Harvey…”, Alex sighs. “Everything is about always Harvey. No wonder he thinks he can screw people up and get away with it.”

“Screw people up?”, Donna exclaims. “He just wants a divorce! And you’ve been separated for a year!”

“No, we were on a break, Donna.”

“A break that lasts more than a month is a break up, Alex.”, Donna rolls her eyes.

“We were still seeing each other.”

“You were still fucking, not seeing each other.”, Donna replies and instantly regrets it, now’s not the time to infuriate the man. “Come on, you didn’t realistically think you would get back together with Harvey, did you?”

“We never talked about divorce.”, Alex replies and there’s hurt in his voice. “And then three days ago a fucking bike messenger shows up at my agency and asks me to sign a receipt. I thought I was being subpoenaed or something.”, he chuckles dryly. “Then I saw what it was.”, he pauses. “Seriously, Donna, what kind of piece of shit does that, uh? You’d think he’d have called me to discuss it before sending the papers, but no! Why waste a minute of your time on your husband when you can fuck up his entire life with a letter, right?”

“You’re being overly dramatic, Alex.”, Donna rolls her eyes again. It’s always been his problem. “When was the last time you saw him?”

“This morning.”

“Okay, I mean before that.”, she asks.

“3 months ago.”

“You knew it was over.”, Donna says fondly. “Come on, I know it’s hard to admit and I know you still care about him-“

“I _love_ him, Donna!”, Alex cuts her. “I don’t want a divorce!”

 _So that’s it_ , she thinks. That’s the core of the problem.

“You love him and yet you’re about to ruin everything he’s spent the last 16 years building.”, she says.

“He didn’t seem the least bit sad when I showed up at his apartment the other night.”, Alex replies. “He didn’t even flinch! I know he’s an insensitive bastard, or at least he pretends to be, but I mean…”, he stops and Donna’s pretty sure she’s heard a sob. “It’s not fair…”

“I know…”, Donna sighs compassionately.

“I know we’re over.”, Alex whispers. “I… I’ve seen the way he looks at me. The spark, it’s gone.”

“He still cares about you, Alex.”, Donna says and she knows it’s true. “He always will.”

“I don’t even have the videos.”, he laughs bitterly. “I would never do that, I just… I just wanted to see him suffer, you know? I know he loves the condo on 5th, even though he doesn’t live there anymore… You should have seen his face in the park this morning. He might still care about me, but he sure does care about his career more.”

“You know Harvey’s job is always going to come first.”

Alex doesn’t reply to that, just sighs sadly. They both know it.

“Harvey is with the police right now.”, Donna says. “Should I call him or do you want to do it?”

“No.”, Alex replies. “Tell him I’m sorry, I-.”

“I will. Take care, Alex.”

She hangs up and exhales quickly. Job done. Once again, she’s saved the day. All joking aside, she feels bad for Alex but she’s glad Harvey’s off the hook. She doesn’t think the videos would have really damaged Harvey’s reputation. She’s seen them, or a portion of them actually. 5 years ago, when Harvey finally managed to buy them from the filmmaker, she managed to get him drunk and coax him into showing her. Honestly, even though orgies aren’t her thing, she thinks she remembers telling Harvey they were _very hot_. Well, and a youthful mistake.

 

 

Rachel is trying on her third outfit when she hears the front door open. Mike comes in her room moments later.

“Good you’re here.”, Rachel smiles and turns around from where she’s standing in front of the mirror to face him. “I need your opinion.”

“You look beautiful.”, Mike smiles back.

“Thank you.”, Rachel blushes. “Can I show you my two other options?”

“Sure.”, Mike nods and walks to her bed where he drops his camera and takes a seat.

“Ok.”, Rachel “So there’s option 1.”, she motions towards the red dress and nude pumps she’s wearing.

“Okay.”, Mike nods again.

Rachel unzips her dress, shimmies out of it and grabs a dark blue cocktail dress.

“That’s option 2.”, she smiles and slips it on. “What do you think?”

“I like it but I like the red dress better.”, he replies. “It compliments your olive skin.”

That’s why she always asks him for advice when she’s got to dress to impress. He’s got an eye for detail.

“Okay so let’s rule out option 2.”, she says to herself, pulling the dress over her head and toeing off her shoes. “Donna told me it was a formal party so maybe option 3 is a little too casual but I’ll show you anyway.”, she explains before turning around and grabbing a hanger bearing a floral maxi dress.

“Too casual.”, Mike shakes his head. “Option 1.”

“Option 1 it is.”, Rachel smiles. “Thanks. How was lunch with Trevor?”

“Good.”, he replies. “I have no idea how he communicates with his new girlfriend though, I had to translate _everything_ for them. We went for a stroll after lunch and I walked him home after she left.”

“Is she nice?”

“Very, her name’s Jenny, she’s a teacher.”, Mike says, turning on his camera. “Here.”, he gets up and hands it to Rachel.

“ _She’s cute._ ”, Rachel signs, rubbing her chin with her index and middle fingers. “You should go get dressed, we’re leaving in 30 minutes.”

 

 

A couple of Donna’s friends are here already and she’s busy putting the final touches to the buffet. She’s spent most of the afternoon in the kitchen cooking various appetizers and finger foods, and cooking for 15 people proved to be lot of work. She hadn’t expected it to take so long and ended up with only 30 minutes to get ready. Which means she didn’t have time to style her hair and she’s a little pissed about it. At least her new red dress fits her perfectly.

She received a text from Rachel 20 minutes ago telling her they were on their way so they should be here any minute now.

“Can you get the door?”, she asks Scarlett, her sister, when the doorbell rings.

She places the last plate on the table and straightens her dress.

“Happy birthday!”, Lucy smiles when she appears in the living room. _Not Rachel_.

“Thank you.”, Donna smiles and hugs her.

Lucy’s one of her oldest friends. She’s dated Harvey for a while years ago.

“I brought you a little something.”, Lucy says, handing her a small wrapped gift.

“I specifically asked for no gifts.”, Donna rolls her eyes with a smile. “Thank you.”

“It’s not much.”, Lucy replies. “But when I saw it, I had to buy it. Where’s the girl?”, she whispers.

“Not here yet.”, Donna grins anxiously.

She feels like a teenager on prom night. Well, at least she thinks that’s how she feels because she didn’t go to prom. Her mum wouldn’t let her go with her girlfriend so she flat out refused to go. But she’s seen it in the movies, she knows what a big thing prom night is.

Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she clutches the small gift box against her chest and leads her friend to the balcony where her other guests are enjoying drinks and chatting amicably.

 

Rachel squeezes Mike’s hand and turns to him, an idiotic smiles playing on her red lips.

“You’re giggling.”, Mike sighs.

“How do you know I am?”, Rachel laughs.

“I can feel it.”, he replies. “Come on.”, he adds, pointing at the doorbell button.

Rachel takes a deep breath and gulps.

“You look fantastic.”, Mike assures her. “Her jaw will drop when she sees you.”

Rachel shakes her head with a smile and pushes the button.

The door opens moments later to reveal a tall blond woman carrying a glass of what looks like sangria.

“You must be Rachel.”, she says with a knowing smile, holding out her hand. “And you are?”, she asks Mike.

“I’m Mike.”, Mike smiles and shakes her hand.

“He’s my best friend.”, Rachel quickly adds and instantly feels stupid for saying that. What she meant was “ _He’s deaf, so please look at him when you talk and speak slowly. He’s the nicest guy I know and if you so much as look at him funny, I’ll slit your throat._ ”. Mike is used to having to tell people, to having to explain that but Rachel isn’t and she never knows how to say it. She should let Mike do it when he feels the need to but she can’t help it, she’s very protective of him. When they were younger and they were going to birthday parties or family gatherings (in Rachel’s family), she would never leave his side, making sure he understood everything, coming to his defense when needed. She’s tried to loosen up a little growing up but she still has a hard time to let him out of her sight.

“I’m Lucy, welcome.”, Lucy says, motioning for them to come in. “I’m Donna’s best friend. At least I think I am.”, she chuckles, casting a discreet glance at Rachel’s dress.

Following Rachel and Lucy, Mike takes a look at his surroundings. The apartment smells really nice, a mix of various expensive colognes and food, and the setting sun gives a nice and warm atmosphere to the living room. There are about 12 or 13 people gathered around a large table offering food and drinks and on the patio, all of them wearing suits or cocktail dresses. Mike hopes he’s not underdressed with his skinny black jeans and fitted white dress shirt. He does own a suit for when he covers baptisms or weddings but he was afraid he’d look overdressed.

A stunning red-haired woman walks towards them with a broad smile. _Donna_. She’s even more beautiful than Mike remembers. And _oh_ , she’s wearing the exact same dress as Rachel.

“Hey.”, she grins. “Looks like we’ve got the same taste in fashion.”, she laughs.

Mike turns to Rachel whose cheeks are now matching her dress.

“Looks like it.”, she smiles shyly as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Well, good to finally meet you.”, Donna smirks and pulls her into an awkward hug.

“This is Mike.”, Rachel says when she pulls away, grabbing Mike’s arm.

“Very nice to meet you, Mike.”, Donna articulates _very_ slowly.

“Me too, Donna.”, Mike replies and lets himself be hugged.

Donna smells divinely, Shalimar by Guerlain his nose tells him.

Rachel clears her throat uncomfortably. She’s a lot younger than most of the guests and despite the fact that she’s used to formal gatherings, she feels very out of place, not at all at ease.

“They’re all very nice people.”, Donna whispers in her ear and winks.

Rachel nods with a weird smile.

“Guys !”, Donna snaps her fingers, causing everybody in the room to stop and turn. “I want to introduce you to my friends Rachel and Mike.”, she says. “Uh…”, she looks at Mike expectantly. “Mike is-“

“Please don’t say _different_!”, Mike laughs. “Good evening everybody.”, he says, taking a step forward. “I’m deaf but I can read lips so if you ever want to talk to me…”, he jokes. “… I’ll just need you to look at me and well, that’s about it. Just speak normally and to my face and you should be good.”, he grins. “Okay, now I’ve embarrassed myself, you can all go back to your conversations!”, he laughs and a man in the “audience” starts clapping.

“Stephen…”, Donna sighs.

“I’m serious!”, he exclaims, stepping up and holding out his hand. “Mike, you’re amazing. I’m Stephen.”, he smiles.

“Nice to meet you.”, Mike chuckles.

“I think you’ve met Lucy.”, the man says. “This is Neal…”, he adds, walking around the group while making sure Mike can see his face. “Scarlett, she’s Donna’s sister. Ray, Louis, Brianna, Jane, also Donna’s sister.”, he smiles and Mike and Rachel shake their hands as they walk. “This is Kevin and this is Nicholas.”

“Where the hell is Harvey?”, Lucy asks.

“Harvey Specter is coming?!”, Rachel asks, wide-eyed.

“Yep, he’s one of my best friends.”, Donna replies with a playfull smile. “I couldn’t tell you, you wouldn’t have come.”

“Oh my god…”, Rachel covers her mouth. “ _He’s the lawyer I told you about_.”, she signs when she sees the confused look on Mike’s face.

Mike makes his “no signing with hearing people” face. “Oh, okay.”, he says.

“Sorry.”, Rachel mouths apologetically.

“Harvey likes to be late, you know him. He’s probably still busy doing his hair.”, Donna says, rolling her eyes at Lucy. “Come on.”, she smiles at Rachel and Mike. “Help yourself.”, she gestures towards the food.

 

Harvey’s late and he knows it but the fitting at René’s took ages. Once home he spent over an hour choosing a suit and then his hair wouldn’t stay in place.

He parks a block away from Donna’s building and dials Alex’s number. _Voicemail_.

_“You’ve reached Alexander Blake-Specter. Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you.”_

“Hey Alex… I, uh, I’m heading to Donna’s birthday party and since I’m in the neighborhood I thought I’d drop by to… to talk.”, he rolls his eyes at himself for stammering. “Um, look, Donna called me and… I think we need to, uh…”, he pauses. “Sorry, I just… Call me back, ok?”, he groans and slides the phone into his breast pocket.

They’ll have to talk about it. When he left their apartment a year ago, after another fight about Harvey’s flirting ways or maybe it was Alex’s neat freak tendencies, he can’t remember, he thought they were on the same page. He had known that he wasn’t in love with Alex anymore for a while but he still stayed because he wanted to see if it could come back, if it was just temporary. He thought Alex felt the same, he thought they had both grown bored and tired of each other. But the conversation he had with Donna earlier that day revealed that he was wrong and he feels bad for Alex. He understands his frustration and desire for revenge. It must have hurt to receive the divorce papers when he still hoped he could save their marriage. So yeah, they’ll have to talk because he wants to apologize.

As he steps out of the elevator and walks to Donna’s front door, he briefly considers ringing the bell but finally decided to use the spare key she gave him. No better entrance than an unannounced one.

“I’m here! Let’s get the party started!”, he exclaims when he comes in the living room.

Mike doesn’t hear him come. He _feels_ it. He feels the shift in the atmosphere. How the air charges with energy, how everybody in the room just stops and turns towards the source of magnetism.

The source in question is a very handsome and well-built man wearing a three-piece suit and a wicked grin. His hair is slicked back with what probably was a whole jar of gel before he decided to spread it over his head.

“Nice of you to show up.”, Mike reads on Donna’s lips as she raises her glass of champagne.

“What can I say? I’m busy man.”, the man smiles.

Mike makes a face and scans the room for Rachel. When his eyes meet with her, she nods discreetly, informing him that yes, the man is Harvey Specter. Mike replies with a raised eyebrow and they sign “ _asshole_ ” in sync, causing Mike to snort.

“Miss Pettyfer, what a surprise.”, Harvey tilts his head. “You look ravishing.”

“Thank you.”, Rachel replies, fighting the urge to roll her eyes.

“Oh that’s cute, you’re wearing the same dress!”, he exclaims, pointing between her and Donna.

“Shut up, Harvey, and go get a drink.”, Donna sighs.

Mike isn’t sure what the man, Harvey, told Rachel since he’s got his back turned to Mike but both Rachel and Donna look rather unamused.

Everybody in the room has resumed their activities but there definitely is a new energy, like someone turned on the lights. And the heat. The man may be a dick but there’s something about him and Mike finds himself unable to look away. He jerks around when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, what?”, he blurts at Stephen.

“I said _I know_.”, Stephen smiles. “Don’t worry, Harvey does that, he has this je ne sais quoi that that charms everybody.”, he adds when Mike frowns.

“What? No!”, Mike blushes.

“You wouldn’t be the first.”, he says. “Harvey’s slept with almost every girl in the room.”

 _Man slut_ , Mike thinks.

“And a couple of the men too.”, Stephen grins.

Mike shakes his head with a smile and refills his glass with red wine.

“I’m going to get some air.”, he tells Stephen before walking to the sliding doors and stepping out on the balcony.

Two men, _Neal and Nicholas?_ , are sharing a cigarette and laughing.

“Hey.”, the brunette smiles when he sees Mike.

“Hey.”, Mike replies, waving a hand.

“Want a cigarette?”, he asks, handing the pack to Mike.

“No thanks, I don’t smoke.”, Mike replies.

“Having fun?”, the blond asks.

“Yes, Stephen gave me the back-story of everybody’s friendship with Donna.”, Mike explains. “So you basically all work in law?”

“Well, yeah, most of us met at Harvard but we’re not all lawyers.”, the brunette replies and looks over Mike’s shoulder. “Harvey! There you are!”, he exclaims.

Mike turns around and watches the man walk towards them.

“Don’t listen to them.”, he says with a smug smile. “I’m the only lawyer worth knowing. I believe we haven’t been introduced.”, he holds out a hand. “Harvey Specter.”

“I’ve heard of you.”, Mike shakes his hand. “Mike Ross.”

“Nice things I hope.”, Harvey huffs.

“Um.”, Mike cocks his head. “Is _asshole_ nice?”

Harvey narrows his eyes at him, suppressing a smile.

“You must be Rachel’s friend.”, Harvey deducts.

“Indeed.”, Mike confirms.

 _Cute_ , Harvey thinks. There’s something strange with his speech, though and Harvey can’t quite figure out what it is.

“Did you bring the gift?”, Neal asks, pulling him out his thoughts.

“Yup, left it in the corridor.”, Harvey replies.

“She’s going to freak out.”, Nicholas grins. “I can’t wait to see her face when she opens it.”

“I wrapped it in cheap Christmas paper and put it in a plastic bag.”, Harvey smiles.

“When are we giving it to her?”

“Go get it.”, Harvey winks.

Nicholas grins again and drags Neal by the arm inside the apartment.

“What is it?”, Mike asks.

“You’ll have to wait and see.”, Harvey smirks. “So, Mike.”, he says, walking to the handrail. “What do you do?”

When he doesn’t get an answer he turns around and raises an eyebrow.

“What?”, Mike asks and he understands that Harvey probably said something. “I’m sorry I’m-“

“Deaf?”, Harvey asks because it makes perfect sense.

“Yes.”, Mike replies, suddenly embarrassed to admit it, for the first time since he lost his hearing.

“Then _I’m_ sorry.”, Harvey says. “I just figured it out.”, he repeats slowly with a smile. The kind of smiles Mike hates. The kind of smile that says “poor thing”.

“Don’t be.”, Mike holds up a hand. “We should get back inside.”, he says and turns on his heel to hide his frustration.

He usually doesn’t feel uncomfortable talking about his handicap and it always elicits sad and pitiful smiles so why does it bother him now?

“Mike.”, Rachel calls him from the patio doors. “ _Everything okay?_ ”, she signs with a concerned look.

“Yes.”, Mike fakes a smile. “They’re going to give Donna her birthday gift.”

Rachel wraps her arm around his and leads him back inside the living room.

Harvey watches them disappear inside the apartment and waits for a couple of seconds before following them.

“Harvey, come here!”, a voice calls from the other side of the room.

Neal’s carrying the plastic bag and grinning like an idiot.

“I said no gift.”, Donna folds her arms across her chest with a smile.

“We know.”, Harvey replies. “We bought this gift 5 years ago for your big 4.0.”, he explains cryptically. “We were told there was a 7-year wait but it turned out shorter so we thought we might as well give it to you now.”

“What?”, Donna snorts.

“Open it.”, Neal says impatiently. “You’ll understand.”

“Okay…”, Donna grabs the bag and opens it. “Oh. My. Fucking. God!”, she exclaims when she starts tearing the ugly wrapping paper. “Oh my god!”, she repeats in a giggle. “A Birkin bag?! You guys are crazy!”, she covers her mouth with a hand, holding the bag in the air with the other.

“Wow.”, Rachel says, tapping on Mike’s shoulder. “This bag costs at least 10 thousand dollars.”, she leans in and whispers.

Mike gapes and looks at the red handbag. Sure, it’s nice, but 10 grands?

“Oh my god you guys!”, Donna laughs, looking around the room with tears in her eyes. “Thank you so much! I mean… I’m speechless... Wow!”, she jumps, hugging the pricy bag.

Mike smiles at the genuine surprise and gratefulness he can read on Donna’s face. They’re a great group of friends, he can feel a lot of love in the room tonight.

He watches as Donna hugs them one by one, wiping a tear here and there and exclaiming things he doesn’t always catch.

When their turn comes, Rachel makes an apologetic face.

“Thank you for coming.”, Donna smiles before wrapping her arms around Rachel’s neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the abrupt stop. Part 2 is coming very soon!!


	4. Meetings (part two)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so so sorry!!! I know I promised I would post the second part this weekend but something wonderful happened: my sister gave birth to a baby boy! I was supposed to write but I got caught up in the waiting process after she got induced on Saturday afternoon and didn't get any sleep until the baby showed up at 6am on Sunday. I'm an aunt for the fourth time!   
> Anyway, here's the second part of Donna's birthday party, it's longer than I expected, I had a great time writing it and I hope you like it.   
> Thanks a lot for your very generous reviews on the first part!  
> xoxo

Rachel steps out on the balcony to get some fresh air and to check on Mike, whom she was sure would be out there since she couldn’t find him in the room. Turns out he’s not. It’s a little chilly, the night has fallen over the city and Rachel takes in the view for a moment.

“Still here.”, she hears whispered in her ear, causing her to jump. “Yeah.”, Rachel turns around and smiles shyly at Donna. “The view is amazing.”

“Is this the only reason why you stayed?”, Donna asks with a knowing look.

“No, of course not! I mean, I, uh…”, Rachel clears her throat. “Have you seen Mike?”

“I think I saw him talking with Neal in the kitchen.”, Donna says, leaning against the handrail, her arm almost touching Rachel’s. “Are you having fun?”

“Yes, you didn’t lie, they’re great people.”, Rachel replies with a smile and looks ahead.

How is this supposed to go? She’s never met anyone online and she’s not sure this counts as a date, she has no idea what she’s supposed to say or do. She didn’t get to really talk to Donna, there was always someone with them, but she’s liked what she’s seen so far. Donna is a beautiful and confident woman and Rachel admires confidence. Meeting someone’s friends is also a good way to know them and except for Harvey, they’re all very nice and a lot of fun.

“So do you, um, regret coming?”, Donna asks, sounding a little unsure and that somehow helps Rachel relax a bit.

“No, not at all.”, she smiles. “The food is excellent, the wine is great. You definitely know how to throw a party.”

“I don’t know about excellent.”, Donna laughs. “I like eating better than cooking.”

“Trust me.”, Rachel nods convincingly. “I’m a foodie, I’ve tried about every restaurant in Manhattan and your cooking is perfect.”

“Well, thank you then.”, Donna runs a hand through her hair and looks down with a smile.

“Rach- oh sorry!”, Mike interrupts their moment, a hand help up in the air.

“ _It’s ok, come here_.”, Rachel signs.

“Oh you know sign language?”, Donna asks with an impressed look as Mike joins them.

“Yes, I actually learned it for Mike.”, Rachel replies.

“That’s great. You guys go way back?”, Donna asks Mike with a smile.

“Yeah, but we’re not supposed to sign when talking with hearing people.”, Mike replies, giving Rachel a reproachful look.

“It’s ok.”, Donna says. “It’s actually pretty fascinating. Must come in handy when you want to talk trash about someone without them knowing!”, she chuckles.

“Oh yeah.”, Mike confirms. “We do it all the time.”

“Can you show me something, like, how do you say _Hello_?”, she asks.

Everybody asks him to show them how to sign but Mike never gets tired of it, it shows that people aren’t afraid, that they’re showing interest in him and even though the only thing people seem to want from him is to know how to say _hello_ in sign language, he always happily obliges.

“ _Hello._ ”, he signs with what Donna thinks looks a lot like a soldier salute.

“That’s kind of easy.”, Donna chuckles, doing a salute.

“Yeah that one’s easy.”, Mike agrees. “Don’t forget to smile. Facial expressions are very important in sign language. Emotional signs like hello or thank you are understood as much from your body language as from the actual sign.”

“How’s _thank you_?”, Donna asks.

 _Second most asked question_ , Mike thinks and smiles.

“ _Thank you_.”, he signs, touching his fingers to his chin and bringing them forward. “It’s almost like blowing a kiss but a bit lower.”, he explains.

“Well, _thank you_ for the lesson, Mike.”, she signs and says.

“You’re welcome.”

“Don’, we need more wine!”

Donna and Rachel turn towards the patio doors and Mike does too after a second.

Harvey is standing in the sliding doors, waving an empty bottle of wine in their direction. He’s lost his jacket and tie but he’s kept the vest and opened the two first buttons of his shirt. He looks every bit as commanding and cocky as he does with the full three-piece suit and Mike might find it unfair and annoying if he was able to think coherently. _Scratch that_. Being unable to think coherently _is_ annoying. So yeah, Mike definitely finds him annoying.

Donna says something he can’t see and walks to him. Harvey casts a glance at Rachel and him and winks before disappearing inside the apartment with Donna.

“ _God, he’s so full of himself._ ”, Rachel signs with a disgusted face.

“Yeah…”, Mike sighs.

“Do you want to go home?”, she asks, rubbing her naked arms.

“Do you?”

“No, I’m asking you.”, Rachel smiles.

“I’m fine.”, Mike replies. “So, what do you think of Donna?”

“I don’t know.”, Rachel grins. “I… uh, I like her. She’s really nice and, uh-“

“Sexy?”, Mike cuts her with a grin of his own.

“I didn’t say that!”, Rachel protests and despite the darkness, Mike can see her cheeks starting to blush.

“She likes you too, you know? I’ve seen the way she looks at you. And she’s always looking around the room for you when you’re not with her.”

Rachel can’t help grinning and she hides her face in her hands.

“Her friends are really nice.”, Mike remarks. “Neal and Nicholas have been together since high school.”

“Yeah, they’re all great. I got to talk with Stephen and Donna’s sister.”, she replies. “It's cold, we should go back inside.”

Rachel makes beeline for the couch where Donna is sitting and Mike heads to the refreshments to refill his glass with sparkling water. He’s had three glasses of wine and it’s pretty much all he should have if he doesn’t want to embarrass himself in front of Donna’s friends. There must be music playing since Mike sees some of the guests drumming their fingers on their glass.

When he turns back to the room, Neal waves at him with a smile and motions for him to come over, which Mike does reluctantly because Harvey’s with him.

“Hey, we were just talking about you.”, Neal says, clinking his glass against Mike’s. “I was telling Harvey that you’re a photographer.”

“Yeah.”, Mike smiles.

“What kind of pictures do you take?”, Harvey asks.

He doesn’t really want to know but there’s something about the young man that makes him care more than he probably should. And well, he’s also just being polite.

“Anything, really.”, Mike replies. “Just whatever my clients want.”

“What’s your favorite thing to photograph, then?”, Harvey asks.

“People.”, Mike instantly replies, his eyes sparkling. “Portraits. I don’t get to do lots of them, though. I mostly do groups photos and events. People don’t really like having their picture taken, so I ask my friends.”, he chuckles and Harvey finds himself smiling back. “You know you got a great photo when the person asks who it is.”, he explains, happy to be asked about his favorite thing the world.

“Isn’t a picture of you supposed to look like you?”, Harvey asks with a frown as Mike’s eyes read the question on his lips and he finds it really distracting.

“Well, it’s them, obviously. But it’s not how they’re used to seeing themselves, you know?”, Mike replies and licks his lips, causing Harvey’s gaze to lower to Mike’s mouth.

He keeps his eyes there for a moment and licks his own lips until Mike’s cheeks turn red.

“Uh…”, Mike clears his throat.

“That’s interesting.”, Harvey smirks, hoping Mike gets the double-entendre.

Neal rolls his eyes, obviously getting it.

“I’ll go get another drink.”, he says with a wink at Harvey.

Mike swallows thickly and starts scanning the room for Rachel when fingers snap right in front of his face.

“Hey, don’t do that!”, he turns to Harvey. “That’s rude, I’m not a dog.”

“I tried calling your name but you didn’t hear me.”, Harvey grins.

“Hilarious.”, Mike rolls his eyes.

“What did Rachel tell you about me?”

“You mean in addition to you being a dickhead?”, Mike quips.

“I thought she said _asshole_.”, Harvey articulates and smiles.

“Yeah, she said that.”, Mike sighs. “She also said that you were one of the best lawyers in the city.”, he adds. He doesn’t really want to give the guy any bragging material but that’s what Rachel said.

“Well, that’s a gross understatement.”, Harvey replies with a serious look. “More like _the_ best lawyer in the country. And that’s because I haven’t checked outside the US.”, he smirks.

Mike shakes his head with a bewildered smile. He’s never met anyone so arrogant yet he can’t help but find it somewhat appealing.

“Sure.”, he makes a face. “Careful or your head won’t fit through that door.”

“Hey, it’s not bragging if it’s true.”, Harvey raises his glass and takes a sip.

“Harvey!”, Donna calls, causing Harvey to turn around. “You got the stuff I asked for?”

“Yep.”, Harvey replies with a knowing smile and pats his pants pocket. “Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”, he tells Mike, his back still turned to him and Mike only understands that he said something when Harvey turns around and winks.

“Wh-what?”, he asks but Harvey’s already halfway across the room.

He shrugs and joins Donna’s sisters near the buffet.

“Having a good time?”, the youngest one, Scarlett, asks with a broad smile when he approaches.

She’s probably his age, red-haired like Donna while Jane, who’s gotta be the middle sister, has short brown hair.

“Yes.”, Mike smiles back. “It’s nice that your sister invited you, you must be close.”

“Very.”, Jane replies. “We’re best friends. Do you have brothers and sisters?”

“No.”, Mike shakes his head. “I have Rachel, she’s like my sister.”

“When did you two meet?”, Scarlett asks.

“We were 11, my grandmother was her nanny so we would spend time together after school.”

“Oh your grandmother lived with you?”

“Well, there was only her and me.”, Mike replies as casually as he can, he hates it when people feel bad for him. “I lost my parents when I was 9.”

“Oh I’m so sorry…”, Scarlett blushes and looks down.

“Don’t be.”, Mike smiles. “That’s life.”

“I saw Rachel sign with you earlier, she learned it when you met?”, Jane quickly changes the subject.

“Yeah, I didn’t really want to learn how to sign, I wanted to speak as normally as possible.”, Mike replies. “I wasn’t born deaf, I lost my hearing when I was 9, in the car accident that killed my parents and I kind of rejected my new handicap at first, I didn’t want to admit that I couldn’t live like I used to. And since I couldn’t go to a regular school, I was homeschooled.”, he explains and Jane nods. “Rachel convinced me to learn how to sign, to go back to school. She took an intensive course for a year, she would spend 6 hours every Saturday at my school just so she could sign with me.”

“That’s really nice of her. Especially considering her age at the time.”, Jane nods, clearly impressed by the gesture.

“She’s really nice.”, Mike confirms. “I wouldn’t worry for my sister if I were you.”, he smiles knowingly. He’s noticed the way the two sisters keep eyeing Rachel.

“Good to know.”, Jane winks. “Hey where’s the cake?”, she frowns. “I’m hungry.”

“I’ll go ask Donna.”, Scarlett chuckles.

“Oh my god, they’re smoking weed.”, Jane sighs, pointing at the small could of smoke flying at the other end of the room. “They think it’s ‘ghetto’.”, she airquotes, rolling her eyes. “But they look ridiculous.”

“Lawyers smoking weed.”, Mike whispers. "Ironic."

“Do you smoke?”, she asks.

“No, I don’t do drugs.”, he shakes his head.

“They’ll tell you they don’t either, that it’s ‘recreational’.”, she mocks.

Mike watches as Donna steps out of the small circle of people she was in, dragged by Scarlett. She hands the joint to Harvey who grabs it and puts it to his lips like a pro.

“ _Are you okay?_ ”, Rachel signs discreetly when she spots Mike.

He nods with a smile and she smiles back.

“ _Don’t smoke that shit._ ”, he signs with a disgusted face.

“ _Of course not!_ ”, she signs back, looking offended.

“Something wrong?”, Jane asks, tilting her head so that Mike can see her. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.”, Mike replies. “I was just checking that Rachel wasn’t planning on smoking.”

“Oh, I see.”, Jane laughs as Donna comes out of the kitchen, carrying a huge chocolate cake.

“Cake time!”, she exclaims, walking to the buffet.

“No candles?”, Mike asks with a smile.

“What is it with you guys and candles?”, Donna asks with a smile. “Scarlett just asked me the same thing.”, she says which causes Scarlett to look at Mike and blush. “No candles.”

“No fun.”, Mike shrugs as he feels a familiar hand gently rubbing the small of his back.

“ _I think Scarlett likes you._ ”, Rachel signs with a snort when he turns around.

It takes Mike a second to understand who Rachel is talking about because she didn’t spell Scarlett’s name, she used a “sign name”, which is less tedious than spelling. Apparently, Scarlett’s sign name is “blush”. Which makes sense, Mike thinks and he shakes his head with a smile.

Donna cuts the cake and Jane passes the dessert plates around the room.

 

Harvey stifles a yawn as he comes out of the restroom. It’s almost one in the morning and the first guests start leaving.

It’s been a weird day that went from a complete nightmare to a very relieving outcome and a great time with his friends. He realizes that he doesn’t spend enough time with them. He knows he works a lot, maybe too much. Well, definitely too much according to… everybody but him. He would never call it “too much”, his work is his life and his number one priority. He once told Donna that was why he was name partner and not her. Not his finest moment. They almost didn’t recover from that particular fight, almost threw 15 years of friendship out the window that night. Harvey still thinks he was right, he just shouldn’t have said it. He’s always been top of his class, always had the best statistics, even broke a couple of records at Harvard, and he knows that it inevitably elicits jealousy. But he’ll never settle for anything less than the best just because it hurts people’s feelings. Even his best friend’s or his husband’s. That’s why he’s not made for commitment, why he should never have asked Alex to marry him. He’s made to be a lawyer, not a husband. Not a friend either, but he’s lucky his friends seem to forgive his obsession with himself and his job. Oh, they regularly call him on his behavior, but they never stop asking for news, never stop inviting him for dinners or parties.

He should go home, get some sleep. He needs to drop by the firm tomorrow, he’s got a meeting to prepare and if he stays and keeps drinking, he’s not sure he’ll manage to get any work done.

He walks to the hallway to get his jacket. The music is barely audible now, the room is less animated, half of the guests have left and the ones remaining are divided into small groups, chatting quietly. Well, except for Mike, who is in deep conversation with Neal and Scarlett on the couch. Of course, he can’t hear himself so he doesn’t know that he’s loud. Harvey finds he quite likes the passionate way with which Mike speaks, gesturing wildly, making cute faces. Not that he’s been keeping an eye on him… Scarlett is literally devouring him with her eyes, drinking his words, and Harvey realizes that she’s barely left Mike’s side all night. Not that he’s been keeping tracks of Mike’s whereabouts-

“Leaving?”, Donna asks, startling him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah.”, Harvey replies, buttoning his jacket. “I need to prepare for Monday’s meeting with Prady and your girlfriend.”, he smirks.

“She’s not my girlfriend.”, she gives him a gentle slap on the shoulder. “Yet.”, she smirks back.

“Looks like your sister has the hots for the deaf guy.”, he says, pointing at the couch with his chin.

“His name is Mike.”, Donna rolls her eyes. “And that’s too bad for her.”

“Why? They’d make a cute couple.”, he says, though he doesn’t really believe it.

“Looks like you forgot to turn on your gaydar.”, she quips.

“The deaf guy is gay?”, Harvey raises his eyebrow.

“Yes, _Mike_ is gay.”, she sighs. “And the fact that you insist on not using his name tells me that you like him.”, she crosses her arms.

“What?!”, Harvey huffs. “You’ve had too much to drink, Donna.”

“Sure, _Harvey_.”

“Okay, guys, you can all go back home, I’m leaving!”, Harvey announces.

Mike turns around when Neal huffs and looks over Mike’s shoulder. Harvey’s standing in the middle of the living room, holding his tie in one hand, his phone in another. Mike understands that he must have announced his departure since he’s put his jacket back on.

“Yeah yeah.”, Neal laughs. “Go home, old man.”

Mike doesn’t hear that, hasn’t heard what Harvey said, he thinks he’s just saying goodbye for the night, so he waves at him with a smile.

“Kicking me out with a smile, how nice.”, Harvey chuckles.

“Wh-“, Mike begins to say and he looks around the room for clues.

“ _Asshole told us to go home since he was living_.”, Rachel gets up from the table and signs. So, Harvey’s sign name is “asshole”, okay. “ _And Neal called him an old man_.”, she gestures from her chin to her chest and smiles.

“Oh okay.”, Mike blushes. “Sorry. I thought you, uh…”, he rubs his sweaty palms on his jeans and jerks around when Scarlett puts a hand on his.

“He’s just messing with you.”, she smiles fondly.

Mike nods and turns back to Harvey who’s wiggling his eyebrow, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

“If anyone’s going up North, we could share a cab.”, Harvey offers after a moment. 

He knows nobody else in the room lives in his neighborhood but maybe Mike does, and Harvey’s seen him yawn and blink sleepily a couple of times. It is quickly confirmed by the expectant look he gives Rachel, who frowns with a very discreet shake of the head.

“Oh!”, Donna holds up a hand and walks to the buffet. “Let me fix you a doggy bag, You guys didn’t eat anything. I could feed an army with these leftovers!”

Harvey sighs and leans against the wall.

“ _Do you want to go?_ ”, Rachel signs when Mike’s eyes meet with her again. He looks tired.

She knows how exhausting these kind of gatherings can be for Mike, how much concentration and energy it requires from him. 

“ _Do you?_ ”, he signs back. “ _I don’t want to go if you don’t want to._ ”, he shakes his head.

“ _You should go with Harvey_.”, she signs and Mike can’t help a snort when she signs the word “asshole”.

“ _You like her._ ”, Mike smirks. “ _You totally want to be alone with her._ ”

“ _Shut up!_ ”, Rachel scowls, closing her fingers and thumb in front of her lips.

Harvey watches the singing match from a distance, wondering what they’re talking about. He sees the headshakes, the knowing look, the smiles and various faces, but he has no idea what is being said. Still, instead of shrugging it off like he normally would, he finds himself fascinated with the ease and speed with which Mike uses his hands.

He unlocks his phone and starts typing a text.

“There you go.”, Donna waves a brown bag in front of his face. “He shares a place with Rachel, four or five blocks from your apartment.”, she winks and turns on her heel.

“Good for him.”, Harvey mumbles.

It’s never been a problem. Asking anybody anything has never been a problem for Harvey. He’s managed to always have his way and doesn’t remember having ever been denied anything or turned down. So why is he scared to ask a young man if he needs a ride? And, most importantly, why would it matter if he declined anyway?

He straightens up and walks up to where Mike is sitting.

“Hey.”, he says, awkwardly tapping his index finger on Mike’s shoulder. “Donna told me you lived in my neighborhood so…”, he says when Mike looks up.

“So what?”, Mike asks with a grin. He’s not going to miss out on the opportunity to give the older man some of his own medicine.

Harvey rolls his eyes and looks away. Rachel is watching them with a worried look.

“Do you need a ride?”, he asks and heaves an exaggerated sigh.

“Um…”, Mike replies, pretending to be thinking about it. “Why not?”

“I’m leaving now.”, Harvey says, nodding at his phone and putting it away in his pants pocket.

“Okay!”, Mike sets his empty glass on the coffee table and gets up.

Harvey nods approvingly, smiling slightly at Mike’s eagerness, and starts hugging his friends goodbye.

“So, you’re leaving?”, Rachel asks when Mike approaches.

“Is it okay with you?”

“Yes, Mike. I’m fine and I’m glad you’re not heading home alone.”, she smiles.

“I’m not a 5-year old…”, Mike rolls his eyes.

“Harvey will make sure he makes it home in one piece.”, Donna assures her with a smile.

“I don’t need a chaperon.”, Mike objects. “It’s just cheaper to share a cab.”

“I know.”, Rachel strokes his arm affectionately. “I’ll see you later or tomorrow at breakfast?”

“Yes.”, Mike replies. “And yes, I’ll text you when I’m home.”, he quickly adds. “Thanks a lot for a great night, Donna.”, he smiles.

“You’re very welcome, Mike. It was nice meeting you and I hope to see you again soon.”, Donna replies and pulls him into a hug. “Hurry up.”, she points at the living room door.

Harvey’s standing there, tapping his foot impatiently. When their eyes meet, he flashes his watch at Mike and tilts his head expectantly.

“Oops.”, Mike turns back to the girls and chuckles. “Bye.”, he waves. “Bye everybody!”, he exclaims.

“Bye Mike!”, the rest of the guests wave and smile in unison.

When Mike turns towards the front door, he sees that Harvey’s opened it and is already in the corridor, waiting by the elevator.

“Why are you in such a hurry?”, Mike asks when he joins him.

“Because my driver’s been waiting downstairs for 5 minutes. And he isn’t cheap.”, Harvey replies, pushing the button for the lobby.

“Your driver?”, Mike gapes. “I thought we were sharing a cab?”

“Well, I didn’t really want to take a cab so I texted my driver and he happened to be in the area.”, Harvey replies, barely suppressing a smug smile.

“Okay.”, Mike nods, looking down at his feet.

When the cabin stops, he follows Harvey across the lobby and stops for a moment when he spots the immaculate black town car parked in front of the building. There’s a man in a suit standing next to the passenger door. _Just like in the movies_ , he thinks.

Harvey and the man exchange a handshake and words Mike doesn’t catch.

“Good evening, Sir.”, Mike says with a polite nod.

“Ray.”, Harvey says, looking at Mike. “This is Mike. Mike this is Ray.”

“Nice to meet you, Mike.”, the man smiles and holds out a hand.

“Me too.”, Mike smiles back and shakes the offered hand.

Harvey walks around the car as Ray opens the passenger door for Mike.

“Thank you.”, Mike says and awkwardly climbs in.

It smells like leather and expensive car perfume.

“Where to?”, Ray asks once he’s settled in the driver’s seat.

Mike notices the man’s quizzical look in the rearview mirror and turns to Harvey.

“What’s your address?”, Harvey asks flatly.

Even if Mike’s sure Harvey would be 100% more likeable if he dropped the attitude, he’s glad that he’s not treating him any differently, that he doesn’t seem to pity him. He gives his address to Ray who expertly enters it into the car GPS and starts the engine.

A conversation opens between Harvey and Ray but Mike quickly gives up on trying to follow since he can’t have Ray’s part and reading Harvey’s lips from the side is close to impossible. He resists the urge to lean against the window and close his eyes because it doesn’t seem appropriate and instead keeps his eyes fixed on the headrest in front of him.

 

He must have fallen asleep because he’s startled awake by a gentle hand on his knee.

“Sorry.”, he automatically says when he opens his eyes and remembers where he is. “I dozed off, I-“

“Don’t worry.”, Harvey cuts him with a smile.

“Thank you for the ride.”, Mike clears his throat. “Thank you Ray.”, he says a little louder, eliciting a smile from the driver who turns his head around.

“Have a good night.”, Ray says and the way he turned and articulated tells Mike that Harvey must have explained the “situation” while he was asleep.

“Bye.”, Mike waves and quickly steps out of the car.

 

“Mike’s home.”, Rachel says, sliding her phone back into her clutch.

“Good.”, Donna smiles and she grabs the pile of dirty plates sitting on the table.

Everybody but Rachel has left, each of them with a doggy bag. Everything’s gone perfectly, she didn’t even have to ask anyone to leave, they all did minutes after Harvey and Mike took off. The fact that Rachel chose to stay, despite the fact that she wasn’t completely comfortable with letting Mike go with Harvey, should reassure Donna. She sees it as a good sign, as a sign that they both had a great time, but she’s nervous. Maybe even more nervous than she was before meeting Rachel in person. Because now, after having spent some time with her, after having seen her interact with her friends, Donna is sure that she likes her and she has no idea what she’s supposed to do next. Invite her to stay the night? Is it too soon? She could offer the couch, but that would be rude, Rachel’s her guest. Let her have the bed? No, Rachel would get the wrong idea. Maybe it wouldn’t be the wrong idea, though, because Donna would be more than happy to share her bed with Rachel tonight. Should she ask her out? Make plans for a real date? If she leaves now, should she kiss her? When? How? Is it also too soon?

 _God,_ she thinks, walking to the kitchen where she carries the pile of plates, _pull yourself together! You’re Donna, for god’s sake!_

“Should I start loading the dishwasher?”, Rachel asks, causing Donna to jerk around.

“No no no.”, Donna blurts with a smile. “You’re my guest, I’ll take care of the cleaning, uh… um… tomorrow.”

“I don’t mind helping you, you’ve already done a lot.”

“Yeah, that’s what hosts do.”, Donna smirks, regaining some composure. “Would you like another drink?”

“Sure.”, Rachel replies and her discreet gulp doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Something strong?”, Donna smirks.

“Well, not too strong, I’ve already had more than I should.”, Rachel makes a face.

“You seem like a very reasonable person.”

“I know.”, Rachel blushes. “I’m a bit boring something, sorry.”

“Hey, I meant it as a compliment.”, Donna places a hand on hers. “Wine? Water? Soda?”

“Wine, please.”

 

Instead of going straight to bed like he intended to, Harvey takes a long shower which seems to boost his energy as he finds himself unable to sleep afterwards.

Heaving a long and bored sigh, he grabs his phone to check the time. Apparently, while he was trying to fall asleep, Alex tried to call him and left a voicemail.

“ _Hey Harv, I got your message. I was having dinner at my parents’ with my sister. Thanks for calling and… I’m sorry again. I don’t really want to talk about it but I could really use a friend right now. My father told us he had cancer… How about getting drunk tomorrow night? I hope you had a great night with Donna and your friends. Goodnight._ ”

Harvey sighs again and drags himself out of bed, he definitely won’t sleep now. He puts on a pair of home pants and walks to the living room where he puts some music and settles on the couch with the case file he’s brought home to prepare Monday’s meeting.

“ _I need a little bit of whisky and a little bit of time to ease my troubled mind…_ ”, he sings over the song, tapping his fingers against the coffee table.

He doesn’t really need to prepare for the meeting, he just wants to make sure all his bases are covered. Because if there’s one thing that Harvey hates more than losing, it’s being taken by surprise (okay, maybe he hates losing more). Even if the case goes to trial, which he kind of promised his powerful and rich client wouldn’t happen, there’s no way he’ll lose. His case is solid. Maybe debatable ethics wise, but he didn’t choose corporate law for its morality. Franck Prady is a great lawyer, very competent, very respectful. Too nice maybe, and it makes total sense that he would choose to team up with someone like Rachel for this case, because she looks as gentle as a lamb.

He smirks, thinking about how he’s planned to conduct the meeting, he can very well imagine Rachel and Franck’s baffled face when he takes out his secret weapon. Being around her tonight confirmed what he told Donna about her. Definitely too empathic, too protective, too nice. Great qualities in a friend, not in a lawyer. She’s a good friend, a good person, he’s happy for Donna. And Mike is lucky to have her.

Why the hell is he thinking about Mike? He shakes his head and clears his throat.

“ _Out in the space, I’m alone with the only hum of the wheels, they’re carrying me home…_ ”, he sings, realizing Mike will never know this song or any music, and he thinks it’s sad. He couldn’t live without music.

He gets up and walks to his liquor cabinet and pours himself a generous amount of scotch. It’ll help him find sleep while he rereads his notes and tries to forget about Mike, and Alex, and his ex father-in-law. _Work, Harvey_.

 

 

“I’m telling you!”, Rachel giggles drunkenly. “They were looking at me like I was… uh, I don’t know… a witch or something! Definitely the enemy!”, she burst into laughter.

They’re sitting on opposite ends of the couch, their shoes long gone, finishing a bottle of white wine.

“They were just being sisters.”, Donna laughs. “Rest assured, you’ve made a pretty good impression.”

“Have I really?”, Rachel snorts and takes a sip of her wine. “I’m not… I mean.”, she looks away. “I’m a shy person, I wish I was as confident as you… or Harvey.”, she sighs. “ _God_ he’s such a jerk! I’m sorry, I know he’s your friend but… How do you- I mean, he’s insufferable.”

“Appearances.”, Donna winks, clinking her glass against Rachel’s and bringing it to her mouth. “He’s uncompromising and very hard to deal with when it comes to his job but he’s a great man when you know him.”, she explains. “And I don’t mind me a shy girl.”, she adds with a knowing smile.

Rachel blushes and takes another sip of her wine. _Don’t blush Rach’, don’t blush_.

“It’s almost four.”, Donna takes a look at her watch and yawns. “I’m not kicking you out. You can spend the night if you want.”, she looks up, hoping she still sounds as confident as Rachel thinks she is.

“Um.”, Rachel’s heart misses a beat. “I, uh-“

“You don’t have to stay.”, Donna smiles. “I’m just offering in case you’re too tired to go home. You can have the bed, I’ll take the couch.”

Rachel considers her options for a brief moment. Stay here and get a good night’s sleep or step out and hail a cab. It’s four and she’s had too much to drink so she chooses the sensible option.

“Okay.”, she replies. “But I’ll take the couch, don’t worry.”

“Sure?”

“Yeah.”, she nods jerkily. “Couch’s fine.”

“Come with me.”, Donna gets up and motions for Rachel to follow her. “I’ll give you a grand tour tomorrow. Right now, I’ll show you the guest bathroom and you can take a shower. We’re not exactly the same size…”, she turns around and smiles. “… but I’m sure I’ll find something that will fit you.”

“You have a guest bathroom but no guestroom?”

“This used to be a guestroom.”, Donna says, opening a door and turning on the lights. “But I turned it into a study. Here.”, she opens another door. “There are clean towels and products in the cupboard under the sink. There might even be a toothbrush.”, she smiles. “I’ll put the clothes by the door, alright?”

“Thanks a lot.”, Rachel replies and she gulps when she realizes how close Donna is.

“Goodnight.”, Donna whispers, before leaning in and placing a soft and quick kiss on her lips.

“Yeah.”, is all Rachel manages to reply as she watches Donna walk out of the room.


	5. Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'm so sorry it took more than a week to post again but I've been pretty busy with work and fun stuff. There are a lot of holidays in France in May so I've taken a short trip to the West to visit my sister and when I got back, work got crazy... But I've managed to write a long chapter anyway and here it is.  
> Thanks a lot for your very kind comments on the previous chapter, I really hope you like this one! It's definitely going to be a slow-building process between Harvey and Mike but there will some action in the next chapter.  
> Let me know what you thought about this one!  
> PS: Tomorrow's my 33d birthday!

Harvey wakes up on the couch, his head pounding painfully. He blinks a couple of times before moving to an upright position, the merest movement forcing a long and low growl out of his dry throat.

With only one eye open, he rubs his face and takes a look around him. The living room is dark and cold. There are pages scattered all over the floor between the couch and the coffee table, on which an empty bottle of scotch and a glass are sitting with his computer and iPad. The clock on the wall tells him it’s past one in the afternoon and the heavy rain smashing loudly against the patio doors draws a sigh out of him. _God_ he hates the rain. He’s suddenly glad half of the day has already gone by because to him, they’re nothing sadder than a lonely rainy Sunday.

He moves over the couch and stretches loudly, careful not to step on the pages lying on the floor as he considers his next step. Bathroom? Coffee? Bed? He finally decides to go relieve his bladder and splash water on his tired face first.

He shouldn’t drink so much, he’s getting too old for this. The thing is it’s the only thing that seems to help when he’s having trouble sleeping.

He flushes the toilets and moves to the sink. He looks a little worse for wear, the long night and glasses of scotch clearly showing on his face. It didn’t use to, he regrets, narrowing his eyes at his reflection. He didn’t use have all these wrinkles either, he frowns. He remembers the day he became aware of them. One of his clients, a famous cosmetic surgeon, happy with the outcome of a case Harvey managed to settle, offered him free botox injections. As a fucking thank you. Harvey remembers smiling, shaking the man’s hand and rushing to the bathroom to take a close look at his face. That’s when he noticed them for the first time, deep lines on his forehead, less deep ones around his eyes. Harvey doesn’t have an opinion on plastic surgery, to each his own. He’s had beautiful fake breasts and butts in his bed and he’s probably kissed a couple of surgically enhanced lips. But he would _never_ alter his body in any way, let alone his face. No tattoos, no piercings, no nothing. His body’s what it is and he’s always done what he could to keep it healthy and strong. Naturally. So no wrinkle-fillers for him, even though he realizes they’re starting to make him look like his father. _Ugh_.

 

He’s drank two cups of coffee and cleared the mess he made in the living room when he decides to call Alex.

“Hey Harv’…”, his soon to be ex-husband sighs when he answers.

“Hey, I got your message. How are you?”

“I’ve seen better days.”, Alex snorts bitterly.

“How’s your father holding up? And your mother?”, Harvey asks.

He really likes Franck and Debbie.

“You know him, he’s playing it like it’s no big deal but I know he’s scared shitless.”, Alex replies and Harvey hears a coffee machine in the background. “Mum didn’t say much but she looks devastated. Florence cried her eyes out…”

He likes Alex’s sister too. Florence is only 25, she’s a young promising journalist at The New York Times.

“I’m sorry…”, Harvey sighs. “What, um, does your father know how advanced the, uh, cancer is?”, he asks cautiously. “And where is it?”

“Bladder.”, Alex says and Harvey hears him take a sip of coffee. “The doctor said it’s treatable.”, he clears his throat. “But he’s already in a lot of pain, he’d been in pain for a couple of months before he finally decided to go see a doctor. He’s going to have chemo sessions and they’re really confident but…”

“Yeah, I know.”, Harvey rubs his forehead.

He knows. He knows what’s behind Alex’s “but”. When Harvey’s mother, Helena, died of cancer 5 years ago, the doctors were also confident she would beat the disease and recover fully. He knows “confident” doesn’t necessarily mean “happy ending”. He had just met Alex when Helena passed away, he was supposed to introduce him to his parents and brother. She had just been sent back home from a short stint at the hospital for exams and was ordered to rest. But she suddenly got really sick and died the following week. The doctors never really knew what happened, why it got worse so quickly when she seemed to be recovering nicely, when the chemo was effective… Harvey never got to introduce Alex to her but he came to the funeral. He was there every step of the way, when Harvey was down, when he was angry, when he was sad, when he stopped eating, when he wanted to leave the firm. He was there to hold him, scold him, feed him, put him back on his feet. Their relationship was really new but instead of driving them apart like it could have, it brought them closer.

“They say hi.”, Alex says, breaking the silence.

“Tell them I say hi the next time you see them. Tell Franck I keep him in my prayers.”

“You don’t even believe in God!”, Alex laughs.

“That doesn’t stop me from praying.”, Harvey rolls his eyes and sits down on the couch. “Did you tell them about, um…”

“Yeah.”, Alex replies. “When she saw how upset I was, Florence almost laughed at me. She said that was bound to happen and that I was a fool for thinking that we would ever get back together.”

Harvey shakes his head with a smile.

“So, wanna get drunk tonight?”, Alex asks.

“No can do. I have an important meeting tomorrow but how about tomorrow night?”

“Alright.”, Alex sighs. “Usual place at 9?”

“Yep.”, Harvey nods to himself. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Good luck for your meeting.”

“Thanks. Bye.”

Harvey disconnects the call and purses his lips. Poor Alex, poor Franck… Life is such a fragile thing… You just never know when you might lose the ones you love, the one you usually take for granted. Clearing his throat, he dials his father’s number. They’re not on the best of terms but it’s been a long time since he called him and, well, you just never know.

 

 

“Morning sleeping beauty.”, Rachel hears when she sits up on the couch and it answers the question that was forming in her head.

 _Right_. She’s at Donna’s, she stayed over after the party. Donna kissed her. _God_.

She turns around and smiles, taking a moment to admire the view of a dressed down, makeup-free, ponytailed Donna and thinking that she really likes this version of her.

“Hey.”, she smiles and runs a hand through her messy hair. “What time is it?”

“A little after two.”, Donna replies. “Coffee?”

“Two?!”, Rachel jerks up and grabs her phone. “Oh shit!”

“Do you need to be somewhere?”

“No, I mean, yes… um…”, Rachel turns her phone back on and walks to the kitchen. “I told Mike I’d be home for lunch, I had no idea I’d oversleep like that…”, she shakes her head.

“Sorry, I should have woken you but you looked so peaceful.”, Donna makes an apologetic face.

“It’s ok.”, Rachel looks up and smiles. “Thanks.”, she adds when Donna hands her a cup of steaming coffee.

Mike sent her three text messages, the last one was sent an hour ago.

“ _Sorry honey, I just woke up. I’ll be home really soon. xoxo_ ”, she quickly types and sends.

“Eggs?”, Donna asks. “I can fix you a toast-“

“I’m okay, but thanks.”, Rachel replies. “How long have you been up?”

“I think I woke up around 10 but I didn’t leave my bed until noon.”, Donna says while loading the dishwasher with last night’s dishes. “I had work to do.”

“What case are you on at the moment?”

“A big fat boring merger.”, Donna winks. “I hate them. They’re Harvey’s specialty but the client hates him so the case was passed onto me.”

“Does that mean that some of your clients actually _like_ him?”, Rachel mocks, smiling over the brim of her cup.

“Some of them do.”, Donna replies. “Harvey’s the best attorney I know. He’s lost only a handful of cases in the 10 years he’s been at the firm and our clients care about their money and assets more than they do about their lawyer’s attitude.”

“Yeah, he’s got quite the reputation.”, Rachel nods in agreement. “Franck Prady, the partner I work with, says he’s never met anyone so brilliant. I think the problem with Harvey is that he knows it.”, she smiles.

“It’s actually one of his biggest strengths.”, Donna corrects. “But enough about Harvey.”, she raises a teasing eyebrow. “Let’s talk about you Rachel Pettyfer.”

“The first thing you should know is that Pettyfer’s not my real name.”, Rachel looks down and blushes.

“Are you CIA?”

“No.”, Rachel giggles. “My name’s Rachel Zane.”

“As in Robert Zane?!”

“Yeah… He’s my father.”, Rachel sighs. “He didn’t hire me, I was hired by another partner, using my mother’s middle name.”

“Wow. Your father’s one of the best lawyers I know.”, Donna gives her an impressed look. “He must be really proud of you.”

“I don’t think so.”, Rachel replies, looking down again and biting her bottom lip. “He didn’t really want me to become a lawyer, he still thinks I haven’t got what it takes.”

Donna doesn’t know what to say, remembering what Harvey told her about Rachel. That she didn’t have what it took to be a great lawyer.

“Parents…”, she just concludes with a smile.

“Yeah…”, Rachel downs the rest of her cup and checks the time on her phone. “I should go.”, she exhales sharply.

“Do you need a ride back?”

“No thank you, I’ll take a cab.”

Donna watches her walk to the office to get dressed and she purses her lips. She doesn’t have any plans for today and actually hoped Rachel would stay. Maybe she scared her away, maybe it was something she said but she’s seen the shift in Rachel’s mood. She probably should have said something after Rachel said her father didn’t believe in her. Maybe she shouldn’t have kissed her yesterday, maybe it was too soon. The kiss was reaaally chaste, but Rachel’s a shy girl. Maybe she could have asked her to stay. Or maybe she’s just overthinking it. Rachel said she had to go because of Mike and it could totally be the only reason she’s leaving.

“So…”, Rachel pulls her out of her thoughts.

She’s standing in the corridor in her red dress, she’s brushed her hair and Donna thinks she could totally be a Disney Princess. She suddenly feels old and terribly underdressed.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you back?”, she clears her throat. “It’s raining pretty hard.”

“Yes.”, Rachel smiles and picks her stilettos from the floor. “I’ll be fine, thanks.”

“Okay.”, Donna nods with a small – fake – smile. “Call me?”

“Yes. Thank you again for yesterday and… uh, well, thank you, I’ll…”, Rachel replies, gesturing towards the front door. “… go now. Have a great day.”

Donna wants to walk up to her, wants to at least give her a hug but she’s frozen in place, unable to figure out what she’s _supposed_ to do.

“Bye.”, she waves and waits for the door to shut to release a shaky breath. “God, Donna, you’re such a fucking idiot!”, she snaps, grabbing the two empty coffee cups and all but throwing them in the sink.

Rachel’s never going to call. She’s not sure why but she’s got a bad feeling about the way they just parted. She’ll have to call her, and she will. Tomorrow. Just to make sure.

Right now the apartment is in desperate need of a good cleaning and tidying so she’s going to focus on that.

 

 

Mike is combing his hair, a towel draped around his still damp waist when he opens Rachel’s text. He wasn’t worried, okay maybe just a _little_ , but he’s glad to hear from her.

He’s been up for a while, working on the photos he promised the school principle to deliver on Monday. He hates rainy day and he hates Sundays. To him, there’s nothing more depressing that a rainy Sunday and he’s glad Rachel’s coming back. Of course, he would have been very happy for her if she had texted to tell him she was staying with Donna for the rest of the day but he’s selfishly glad she’s not. Plus, he’s already picked a movie and checked that they still had popcorn and beers. He can’t wait to hear what happened after he left.

 

The light in the entryway goes off and on again and Mike presses a shortcut key combination to save his work before getting up to greet his roommate. He’s about to open his mouth to ask for the detailed inventory of her night at/with? Donna when he sees the look on her face.

“Hey.”, he says with an uncertain smile. “ _Everything alright?_ ”, he signs when Rachel looks up.

She nods with a sad smile and heads for her bedroom. _Uh oh._

“Wanna talk?”, Mike calls, following her.

She turns around and shakes her head. “ _Shower._ ”, she signs and locks herself in the bathroom.

Mike sighs and walks back to the living room to put his computer away. Rachel doesn’t want to talk now but he knows she will eventually and when she does, it’ll be with the help of hot cocoa and marshmallows. Some people need alcohol or food when they’re feeling down, Rachel relies on hot cocoa and marshmallows. His Grammy used to make some when they were kids and Rachel or him had had a rough day at school. Mike’s not a huge fan anymore, so after he’s poured some milk in a saucepan to heat it, he starts the coffee machine.

Rachel comes back to the living room about 10 minutes later, dressed in an oversized t-shirt that Mike recognizes as one of his own and a pair of sweatpants. She goes straight to the couch and turns on the TV.

Mike knows it’s a sign that she’s still not ready to talk but he carries the two mugs to the living room anyway and puts them down on the coffee table before taking a seat next to her.

“Could you at least turn on the captions?”, he asks after a couple of minutes trying to understand the drama going on in the Kardashians’ house.

Rachel grabs the remote and pushes a button.

“Thanks.”, Mike sighs, not sure if he really wants to know what they’re saying when he starts reading the screen. “I made you a cup of hot cocoa.”, he says, grabbing his cup of coffee.

“ _Thank you._ ”, Rachel signs absentmindedly, her eyes still fixed on the TV.

“Are you mad at me or something?”, he asks, thinking that maybe she’s upset because she wanted to stay at Donna’s and came back because of him.

“No.”, she replies, turning to him. “Why would I be?”

“I don’t know.”, Mike replies. “Why are you ignoring me then?”

“I’m not ignoring you. I just… I just don’t wanna talk, that’s all.”, she sighs and turns back to the TV.

“Okay…”, Mike nods. “I’ll be in my room.”

 

 

Harvey catches up on his favorite shows to kill time. The rain hasn’t stopped, it even got worse and as the afternoon slowly turns into evening, the sky is depressingly darkening.

When he reaches the bottom of his jar of Ben & Jerry’s, Harvey decides that he’s spent enough time in front of the TV and switches on his computer.

He hasn’t been on Facebook for ages and surfing doesn’t require him to move from the couch. _Perfect_.

He doesn’t post much on there, but it helps keep him tabs on his brother and his family and on his friends. Apparently, Paul has been working all weekend and Liz, his girlfriend, had a girls night out with a bunch of friends. Neal had brunch with Nicholas in a new hip place and…

 _Neal Caffrey is now friends with Mike J. Ross_.

Harvey scrolls past the post, ignoring the way his heart all but fluttered when he read Mike’s name, and starts clicking through a bunch of pictures of last night that Nicholas uploaded from his phone. Not such a good idea since Mike is tagged on most of them. There are selfies of Mike and the couple making faces and raising their glasses, photos of the crowded living room, of the buffet. Harvey spots himself on one of them and he does what he always does when it happens, he sends an automatic email to ask for removal. If he wanted his face on Facebook, he’d post the pictures himself. The last photo of the album is a very nice portrait of Donna and Rachel that Nicholas credited to _Mike J. Ross_. Harvey clicks on Mike’s name with a long sigh. He resisted, he really tried. That’s what he keeps telling himself while Mike’s profile opens in a new tab.

His profile picture, _probably a goddamn selfie_ Harvey thinks rolling his eyes, displays a serious Mike doing the Vulcan salute. Star Trek fan? His bio says he was born in New York, graduated from the New York Institute of Photography, that he is single and that _Rachel Zee_ is his sister. There’s a photo of ducks with a status that reads : _Went to Central Park, these little fellows were having a blast on the lake_. Posted yesterday at 7pm. Hold on a second. The guy taking picture at The Lake yesterday morning was Mike? The guy in the skinny jeans and gorgeous ass lying on the grass was Mike?

Harvey shakes his head with a smile and keeps scrolling down Mike’s profile page. There are a lot of pictures. Of Rachel, of a dark-haired guy, of buildings, of babies and cats and lots of photos of Mike making faces… There’s a video posted by _Logan Sandersss_ titled “So you think you can sing?”. The name Logan Sanders rings a bell but Harvey doesn’t know when or where he’s heard it. He hits the play button.

“Hey guys, Logan here. I’m with my friends Mike and Rachel and I want to show you something funny”, the young man smiles to the camera as Rachel signs, probably translating the words to a goofy-looking Mike. Actually, the three of them look quite inebriated. “Mike is deaf and he thinks he can sing the National Anthem.”, the man laughs, patting Mike’s shoulder.

“I totally can.”, Mike nods enthusiastically. “And I will but this better not end on Facebook.”

“Yeah, yeah, go ahead, sing.”, Logan snorts.

“Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light what so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming?”, Mike starts to sing and it’s so out of tune Harvey can’t help but laugh, though he feels a little bad about mocking him.

Rachel and Logan are both laughing hysterically, holding their stomach.  
“O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave o'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?”, Mike concludes in a hilarious high-pitched note, visibly unaffected by the reaction his singing elicits from his friends.

“Oh my god!”, Rachel exclaims, covering her mouth with a hand.

“See?”, Logan asks to the camera before cutting.

Harvey lets out a small chuckle and decides he’s been spying on Mike for long enough, that it’s bordering on stalking. Why did he just spend half an hour looking at the profile of a guy he barely knows? And who would let their Facebook profile totally open and unrestricted and use their real name to make things worse? He should warn him, Mike’s got a reputation to protect, he knows potential clients use the network to research future contractors. That’s why he doesn’t use his real name.

 

 

Mike is just finished burning the pictures on the CD he’s delivering tomorrow when he notices the Safari icon bouncing in the Dock. _Probably another Facebook notification_ , he thinks, clicking on the icon. There’s a new chat window open.

 **Reggie Nald:** You should protect your profile. Everybody has access to it.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Who is it?

 **Reggie Nald:** Harvey.

Mike’s heart skips a beat when he reads the name and he shakes his head with a smile at the Paul Newman icon.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Harvey who?

 **Reggie Nald:** Donna’s friend. We met at her birthday yesterday.

Mike grins. He can totally imagine Harvey’s face upon realizing someone doesn’t remember him or even knows another Harvey.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Right. I remember.

 **Reggie Nald:** So, about your profile.

 **Mike J. Ross:** What about my profile?

 **Reggie Nald:** Everybody can have access to it, you should protect your personal information and status. It could harm your business depending on what you post. Like this duck picture? I mean, it’s nice but…

Mike makes an offended face at his computer screen and quickly types a reply.

 **Mike J. Ross:** So that means that you went through my profile?

 **Reggie Nald:** Absolutely not. The duck picture is the first thing in your feed.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Sure.

 **Mike J. Ross:** What if I don’t want to protect my profile?

 **Reggie Nald:** Well then by all means, don’t. I was just giving you a piece of advice.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Thank you?

Mike watches as “Reggie Nald is typing a reply” comes up and disappears a couple of times and he giggles, imagining the other man fuming in front of his computer, trying to remain calm and polite, trying to ignore Mike’s provocations.

 **Reggie Nald:** You’re annoying.

 **Mike J. Ross:** I know :D

 **Mike J. Ross:** What’s up with your screen name?

 **Reggie Nald:** Nothing. Why?

 **Mike J. Ross:** Are you a Paul Newman fan?

 **Reggie Nald:** No, I hate him. That’s why I chose him.

 **Reggie Nald:** Are you a Star Trek fan?

 **Mike J. Ross:** Spock is the man.

 **Reggie Nald:** You must be really tired because I’m pretty sure you meant Kirk.

 **Mike J. Ross:** I most certainly did not. Kirk is a wuss.

 **Reggie Nald:** Kirk is the man and I don’t want to hear another word about it.

The doorknocker, which consists in a light that flickers when someone knocks on the door, goes off and Mike lets out a croaked “Come in.”.

Rachel pops her hand around the door and smiles sheepishly. It’s nearly 6 pm meaning Mike left the living room 3 hours ago and he thinks it's about time she stopped sulking.

“I’m sorry.”, Rachel says as she comes in.

“Hold on just a sec.”, Mike says, holding up a finger.

 **Mike J. Ross:** I gotta go. But that doesn’t mean I agree with your opinion on Kirk. Let’s continue this conversation some other time.

 **Reggie Nald:** When?

 **Mike J. Ross:** Some other time?

Rachel sits on the bed next to Mike and takes a look at the screen.

 **Reggie Nald:** Are you busy Tuesday night? I know a great place.

Rachel wiggles her fingers in front of the computer to catch Mike’s attention.

“Who is asking you out?”, she asks with a beaming smile.

“He’s not asking me out.”, Mike blushes. “At least I hope he isn’t.”

“Who is it?”

“Harvey.”

“Oh my god…”, she rolls her eyes. “Are you going out with him?”

“ _I don’t know, Rachel!_ ”, Mike signs rapidly.

He really doesn’t. He would gladly resume the conversation on Facebook. He’s not sure about doing it in person. With Harvey.

 **Reggie Nald:** Still thinking?

 **Mike J. Ross:** No.

 **Mike J. Ross:** I was checking my schedule.

Rachel gives him the thumbs up with a smile.

 **Reggie Nald:** What does it say about Tuesday?

 **Mike J. Ross:** It says okay.

 **Reggie Nald:** Good. Here’s my number 917 832 529.

 **Reggie Nald:** Give me a call tomorrow.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Funny.

 **Reggie Nald:** Sorry. Text me tomorrow.

 **Mike J. Ross:** I will. Bye.

 **Reggie Nald:** Live long and prosper.

Mike snorts and closes the tab.

“You’re going out with Harvey.”, Rachel says flatly.

“I’m not _going out with him_.”, Mike rolls his eyes but he can’t hide the blush creeping up his cheeks. “We’re going to have dinner and talk about Star Trek.”

“Sure.”, Rachel huffs.

“Wanna tell me what happened with Donna?”, Mike quickly changes the subject. He doesn’t want to keep talking about it because he still hasn’t processed what he just agreed to do.

“Nothing happened.”, Rachel shrugs. “If anything, we had a great time together. She kissed me.”, she grins.

“So something happened!”, Mike grins back. “How? When?”

“It was a quick kiss on the lips right before going to bed.”

“You two slept in the same bed?”

“No.”, Rachel shakes her head. “I slept on the couch.”

“So why were you upset when you came home?”, Mike asks.

“We talked about my dad and…”, she looks away and bites her bottom lip. “Um… She’s 38, she’s very successful, her apartment is fantastic… I’m just not, uh, good enough for her.”

“Says who?”, Mike rolls his eyes.

“Me.”, she points at herself. “She said my dad was one of the best lawyers she knew and that he should be proud of me-“

“You know he is.”, Mike cuts her.

“You know he’s not.”, Rachel snorts. “I feel stupid, I feel… inferior, you know?”

“You shouldn’t.”, Mike shakes his head in disapproval. “She seems to like you.”

Rachel lets out a long sigh and purses her lips.

“So you’re not going to see her again because you think you’re not good enough for her?”

“I don’t know…”

“Then yes, you’re definitely stupid.”, Mike says and he leaves the bed to put his computer on his desk. “Hungry?”, he turns around and asks.

“Not really but I haven’t eaten all day so I should probably have something.”

“Let’s order sushi.”, Mike smiles.

 

 

“You did what?”, Donna gasps as she pours herself a glass of sparkling water, her phone tucked between her cheek and shoulder.

“He said yes.”, Harvey replies.

“I knew you liked him!”

“He’s a Trekkie.”, Harvey says as if it were a perfect explanation.

Donna shakes her head with a smile and walks to the living room with her glass.

“Do you want me to ask Rachel if he’s single?”, she asks.

“I know he is. I’ve seen it on his Facebook page.”

“He doesn’t strike me as the type of guy who does one night stands, though.”, she says and takes a sip of her glass.

“I never said I wanted to sleep with him.”, Harvey huffs over the phone.

“Whatever you say.”

“Since we’re on the subject of sex, did you sleep with Rachel?”

“No, I don’t do that and you know it.”, she rolls her eyes. “Besides, she seemed upset when she left early this afternoon so I’m not even sure I’ll see her again.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing. We were talking and something changed in her mood…”, Donna replies, replaying the scene in her head. She has no idea what happened. “I guess it was too good to be true…”, she sighs. “I’m too old for her anyway.”

“You know I hate it when you go into self-deprecating mode but let me tell you one thing. And you better listen close because I’m not going to say it twice.”, he gently scolds her and Donna smiles because she knows what he’s going to say and that’s exactly what she needs to hear right now. “You’re an amazing woman, Donna. You’re beautiful, smart, very funny and generous, any woman would be immensely lucky to have you.”

“Thank you, Harvey…”, she sighs.

“You’re very welcome. Call her.”

“I was about to do it when you called.”

“You’ll feel better when you know what’s going on with her.”, Harvey yawns. “I’m having drinks with Alex tomorrow night, Frank has bladder cancer.”

“Oh no…”, Donna leans her head back against the couch. “Alex must be devastated.”

She knows Alex’s parents, she’s seen them a couple of times and at his and Harvey's wedding. They’re very nice people and she knows Alex is very close to them.

“Yeah, life’s unfair.”, Harvey replies and yawns again. “I think I’m going to read the files one more time and go to bed. Your girlfriend and Prady are coming to the firm at 9 tomorrow.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”, Donna rolls her eyes. “I thought you were going there, I didn’t know she was coming.”

“I wanted my big victory to take place at the firm.”, Harvey explains and Donna’s sure he’s smirking.

“Good night, Harvey.”

“Good night. And call her.”

“Yes, I’m calling her as soon as we hang up. And thank you for listening to my pathetic story.”

“That’ll be 50 bucks.”, Harvey chuckles. “See you tomorrow.”

“Yep. Bye.”

She taps the screen and takes a deep breath before dialing Rachel’s number.

“Allo?”, Rachel answers on the first ring.

“Hey.”, Donna says, straightening up on the couch. “How are you?”

“Good. You?”

“I’m good.”, Donna replies.

A long, awkward, silent minute passes and Donna rolls her eyes at herself before finding the courage to speak again.

“So, I…”, she clears her throat. “I was wondering if we could, um, talk. Are you busy?”

“No, not… right now, uh, I mean I’m not busy. Talk about what?”

“Well, maybe I’m just imagining things but you looked upset when you left and I’ve been thinking about what I said and did all day and it’s bothering me because I hope it’s not because of me or because of something I said so I thought I’d call you to make sure you’re okay.”, Donna says in one breath.

“I’m fine.”, Rachel replies. “I’m sorry you got the impression that you did something because you did not, you were perfect actually…”

Donna swallows and nods to herself, hoping her silence will urge Rachel to carry on.

“I’m just…”, Rachel begins to say and Donna hears her sigh loudly.

“You’re just what?”, Donna asks when Rachel doesn’t continue.

“It’s stupid, really.”, Rachel giggles nervously. “I mean… you really are perfect and I’m far from that and-“

“Let me stop you right there.”, Donna cuts her. “First of all, I’m not perfect because nobody is. I may be very close to perfection…”, she jokes “… but you can’t possibly know that already. Seriously, Rachel, what are you trying to say?”

“I will disappoint you.”, Rachel replies. “I’m not half the accomplished woman you are.”

“That’s complete nonsense.”, Donna huffs. “I’m 10 years older than you. Gosh, I’m old.”, she sighs. “Is that why you got upset this morning?”

“I realized…”, Rachel clears her throat. “I don’t know… I know, I’m stupid.”

“You’re not, stop saying that.”, Donna says. “You know what? When I watched you put on your shoes before you left, I thought that you were far too pretty for you own good.” She hears Rachel laugh on the other end of the line. “So, maybe we’re not good enough for each other but why not give it a try before we decide?”

“You’re right.”, Rachel admits.

“Dinner tomorrow?”

“I’ll definitely need to unwind after my meeting with Harvey… Any tip while we’re at it?”

“Don’t hold back, don’t let him interrupt you, stand your ground. Harvey respects people who stand up to him.”, Donna replies.

“Okay, I’ll try, thank you.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning at the firm?”

“I guess.”, Rachel giggles nervously and Donna hears someone talking in the background. “Oh, I gotta go, dinner’s arrived.”

“Sure. Bon appétit.”

“Thank you. See you tomorrow.”

“Bye.”

Donna hangs up and grins. Rachel, beautiful and smart and kind Rachel, thinks she’s not good enough for her? Now that’s a major ego boost!

Her stomach growls and she contemplates ordering in for a second before remembering that, even though she gave each of her friends a doggy bag after the party, there still are plenty of leftovers in the fridge.


	6. Dates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you soooo much for all the nice comments you guys left on the previous chapter! I enjoy everyone of them!  
> It inspired me so here's another chapter! And a looooong one :)  
> The date is finally happening...  
> Enjoy!

Just before noon, Mike stops at the school to deliver the photos. He chats with the principal for a while and they agree on a date when Mike will come explain what deafness is to the 5th graders. He tells Mike that of course he’ll get paid for that despite Mike’s insistence that he’ll gladly do it for free.

On his way out, he meets Lucinda, the young teacher, and she invites him to have lunch with her. He had planned to drop by the association’s office and see if Trevor wanted to go eat a burger at their favorite place but she seems so genuinely happy to see him that he doesn’t have the heart to decline.

They go to a nearby café and she orders a salad and tap water. He’s starving and would kill for a steak or a burger but when she starts commenting on every other thing that includes meat on the menu, listing the reasons why people should stop eating meat, he reluctantly orders a salad and a Coke.

Lucinda is a nice girl, very pretty, and she spends the whole meal grilling Mike, who tries to manage the impossible: focus on her lips, answer her many questions and eat at the same time. She’s finished her salad long before he’s even eaten half of his and he pretends to be done when she looks at her watch. She pays for both of their meals and they quickly leave the café, making a stop at a cart to grab a coffee on their way back to the school.

Lucinda asks him if he plans on using the number she gave him when they reach the school entrance and Mike gives her a small apologetic smile and thanks her for lunch before telling her that he doesn’t really have time to date. He sees how disappointed she is despite her efforts to hide it and she kisses him on the cheek and tells him that she understands.

 

 

“Well, it’s always a pleasure doing business with you Frank.”, Harvey smirks and holds out a hand, which the older lawyer completely ignores. “Oh come on! Don’t be such a sore loser.”, he chuckles and nods at Rachel.

She nods back and turns on her heel to head for the elevators where their client is waiting. She didn’t have much hope regarding the outcome of the meeting. Frank had told her Harvey Specter didn’t lose but she and Frank hadn’t expect Harvey to come up with what he did to win. He completely blindsided them and he did it looking so smug she wanted to walk around the table and punch him in the face. She managed to argue what she had planned on arguing, without letting Harvey interrupt her, and that’s a small victory in itself but she’s still really upset.

“Rachel?”, she hears and, recognizing the voice, she takes a deep calming breath and turns around.

Seeing Donna seems to make all her worries and frustration go away at once. She’s looking breathtakingly beautiful in her black and white dress and black Louboutins and her hair is perfectly coiffed, cascading over her shoulders down to her plunging neckline.

“Hey.”, Rachel gives her a small smile.

“How did it go?”, Donna asks with a knowing look.

“Like it‘s meant to go when you’re up against the Great Harvey Specter, I guess…”, Rachel sighs.

“Are we still on for tonight?”

“Yes, of course.”, Rachel nods with a smile. “What-“

“Miss Paulsen?”, a beautiful young blond woman interrupts them.

“Yes Katrina.”, Donna replies, her eyes still on Rachel.

“I uh, I’ve just finished the briefs you asked me to proof and I was wondering if I could leave ear-“

“Absolutely not, I’m afraid.”, Donna finally turns around and looks at her. “I need a research on past wrongful terminations and I need it for tonight.”

“Oh. Okay.”, the young woman purses her lips and nods. “Any wrongful termination that the firm handled?”

“Yes, in the last 10 years.”, Donna replies. “It shouldn’t take you too long, though, those are usually pro-bono and we don’t do many of them.”

“I’ll get right on it.”

“Thank you, Katrina.”, Donna rolls her eyes and turns back to Rachel.

“Jesus, you’re mean!”, Rachel gapes but she can’t help a smile.

“She’s nice but she doesn’t really take her job seriously.”, Donna explains in a low voice. “I don’t need this research and I probably would have let her leave early if, instead of asking me if she could, she had asked if there was anything else she needed to do.”

“Well, Frank isn’t the funniest guy I know but I’m really lucky he’s my boss and not you.”, Rachel shakes her head with a smile.

“How about I pick you up at 8:30?”, Donna asks, looking around to make sure they’re out of praying ears.

“Sounds great.”, Rachel smiles and waves discreetly before joining an angry looking Frank and their client at the elevator.

 

 

On his way back to the apartment, Mike stops at a fast food and orders a burger with fries to go, which he eats while updating his tumblr page with the latest photos he’s randomly taken in the past week and reblogs a couple of nice ones he discovers on his feed. He suddenly remembers that Harvey asked him to text him today. He opens a new page and logs on Facebook to get Harvey’s number. He reads the whole conversation again and that gives him an idea. Harvey knows everything about Mike while Mike knows close to nothing about him so he types _Harvey Specter_ on Google and starts clicking, amazed at the impressive number of articles the man has inspired.

“Young ADA uncovers shady business.” “Top Lawyer Harvey Specter marries his partner after New York State Assembly passes Marriage Equality Act.” “I don’t get lucky, I make my own luck – Harvey Specter, youngest partner at Pearson Hardman.” “Harvey Specter gets his name on the door as New York’s top law firm gets rid of Daniel Hardman.” “Harvey Specter gives lecture to a thousand awe-struck students at Harvard.” “New York LGBT community turns to Pearson Specter after latest anti-gay crime.” “Harvey Specter of Pearson Hardman urges Barack Obama to take part in the fight for equal rights as the state of New York contemplates passing the Marriage Equality Act.”

He spends the afternoon reading each and everyone of them, committing every word to memory, smiling at the pictures of a younger Harvey, taking interest in the causes Harvey apparently fights for on behalf of the firm (gay rights, employment, education…), watching captionless videos of interviews filmed outside of courtrooms or during lectures.

These aren’t really personal information, he just knows Harvey was born on January 22 1977 and that he is or was married to an Alexander Jeremiah Blake. He checked and couldn’t find anything about a divorce. But he doesn’t remember seeing a wedding band on Harvey and nobody mentioned his husband during the party.

He grabs his phone and types a quick “ _Hey_ ”.

“ _Who is it?_ ” appears on his phone screen seconds later and Mike smiles.

“ _How many people did you ask to text you today?_ ”, he sends.

“ _Just one_. _But that doesn’t mean you can’t introduce yourself. I’m in a meeting right now, I’ll call you later.”_

 _“Is this some kind of recurring joke? Because it’s getting kind of old.”_ Mike sends as he rolls his eyes dramatically.

_“No. It’s just me forgetting that you can speak but not hear. Sorry. I’ll TEXT you later.”_

Mike smiles and stores his phone in his pocket before getting up from the couch and grabbing his hoodie. Rachel should be home in an hour to get ready for her date with Donna and since he spent the afternoon on his computer, he didn’t go buy the groceries and toiletries they listed after dinner yesterday. Apparently, Rachel’s running out of cotton pads and deodorant and Mike has a feeling she’ll need them for tonight.

 

 

Harvey leaves the firm around 8 and heads straight for the restaurant where Alex has been waiting since 7:30 when they were originally supposed to meet. After his meeting, which lasted longer than expected, he got a call from one of his clients who was worried about a new FTC Title 16 requirements and spent a good two hours reassuring him. He completely forgot to text Mike like he said he would.

“Sorry.”, he says, a little out of breath when he arrives at the table where Alex is reading a newspaper and drinking a Martini.

“Ah don’t worry, I just got here.”, Alex looks up and smiles. “I knew you were going to be late.”

Harvey makes a face and takes a seat across from him. That used to be their main problem, Harvey being late to their dates because of his work, Harvey basically living in his office… Of course Alex knew he was never going to be on time.

“Let’s order champagne.”, Harvey smiles, taking a sip from Alex’s drink. “I won a negotiation that’d been going on for three months and managed to bullshit my way through a conversation with one of my most important clients who was worried about a new legislation I didn’t even know about.”, he laughs, putting the glass back down.

“Well, we are supposed to get drunk so I guess champagne can do.”, Alex smiles.

 _Right_ , Harvey thinks. Shit. He had completely forgotten about the context of their meeting and his victory and champagne sound awfully trivial compared to what Alex is going through.

“Sorry, that was totally inappropriate.”, he sighs. “I… let’s forget about the champagne.”

“It’s okay. Champagne’s fine. I sold two condos today, I should celebrate.”, he smiles, gesturing toward the waiter. “Oh, and here are your papers.”, he says, taking a large envelope our of his briefcase. “Signed, sealed, delivered, I’m not yours anymore.”, he chuckles bitterly.

“Thank you.”, Harvey clears his throat uncomfortably and slides the envelope into his own briefcase, praying for the booze to arrive quickly because from his being late to his ordering champagne to celebrate Alex’s father’s cancer and this, the whole thing is getting really embarrassing.

 

“This is where my father always takes me for my birthday.”, Rachel comments as they’re being shown to their table.

“It’s my favorite place.”, Donna smiles and she takes a seat. “They’ve got the most delicious scallops in the city.”

“I know, right?!”, Rachel grins. “That’s what I always order!”

Donna smiles back and starts reading through the menu.

Rachel feared it would be awkward to see Donna again after their conversation and she’s relieved to see that it’s not. Just like she did at her birthday party, Donna puts her at ease with just the right amount of sass and humor, of delicacy and friendliness.

“Harvey told me you handled yourself quite well during the meeting.”, Donna looks up from her menu and winks.

“I did my best but it wasn’t enough.”, Rachel sighs.

“You know what makes a good lawyer? It isn’t just the number of cases you win.”, Donna says. “A reputation is mostly based on the impression that you leave on people, on your work ethics. And you’ve made an impression today. You’re young, you still have a lot to learn and there’s no use comparing yourself to Harvey, or even to me. I’ve been a lawyer for a lot longer than you, of course my record is… longer.”, she chuckles.

“Let’s drink to that.”, Rachel smiles as the waiter approaches their table.

 

 

Mike would lie if he said he didn’t spend the evening checking his phone. He totally did. But he’s not even ready to admit it to himself.

He helped Rachel pick an outfit, “something sexy but not slutty”, cooked himself a light dinner and spent an hour chatting with Trevor and a couple of members of the association on Facebook to plan an upcoming charity event.

Then he got bored and contemplated the idea of texting Harvey with a joke about how Harvey wasn’t a man of his words but he eventually decided not to. Of course Harvey isn’t a man of his words, he is a self-centered asshole.

He found sleep by going through the pages of _Ask the dust_ by John Fante in his head, hoping that Rachel was having a good time with Donna.

 

 

It wasn’t the plan. They weren’t supposed to share a cab and Alex wasn’t supposed to climb on his lap and kiss him breathless in the back of car. They weren’t supposed to kiss their way through the lobby and the elevator ride. Harvey wasn’t supposed to go down on his knees and suck his very-soon-to-be-ex-husband’s cock in the entryway of his condo and he certainly wasn’t supposed to fuck him bareback in his own bed.

But of course, it’s only after he’s come down from his second earth shattering orgasm that he becomes aware of the idiocy of what they just did.

“I know…”, Alex yawns. “… what you’re gonna say and you’re right.”, he turns around and makes a sad face. “Let’s call what just happened our farewell fuck.”

“You’re an idiot.”, Harvey snorts.

“Seriously though, I needed that.”, Alex yawns again and moves to rest his head on Harvey’s chest. “The drinks and the sex. So thanks.”

“Ewww, don’t thank me for sex.”, Harvey pushes him away.

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah…”, Harvey sighs and kisses the top of Alex’s head. “Wanna stay the night?”

“I can’t. I have two meetings early tomorrow morning, well, in 5 hours, maybe even less. I should go if I want to get some sleep.”, Alex replies, sitting up and stretching loudly.

“You know, um…”, Harvey says, scratching his head. “Even if we’re not married anymore, that doesn’t mean I-“

“You don’t need to do that, Harvey.”, Alex holds up a hand before bending forward to pick his discarded clothes from the bedroom carpet. “It’s fine, really.”

“No, I mean it. I care about you. Could we try to-“

“Be friends?”, Alex burst out laughing and he zips his pants up.

“Uh, yeah?”, Harvey replies with a confused look.

“No.”, Alex shakes his head. “I can’t be friends with you. You know that’s not what I want from you. But it’s okay. I was serious when I said ‘farewell’, you know?.”

“So you want to cut all ties with me? But you said you needed a friend after learning about your father and you called me.”

“Yeah, and look how it ended up.”, Alex sits on the edge of the bed and gestures towards the rumpled sheets. “I thought I could be friends with you but I guess we can both agree on the fact that it’s pretty obviously I was wrong.”, he sighs and puts on his socks and shoes.

Harvey purses his lips and looks down at his naked and spent body. Suddenly overwhelmed by an unwelcomed mix of self-consciousness and guilt, he grabs the bed sheets and covers himself.

“Thank you for dinner.”, Alex says when he’s done putting his clothes back on. “Bye.”, he adds, leaving the room.

Harvey opens his mouth to speak but closes it again, unable to come up with something to say. Something decent, something appropriate. There isn’t anything he can say expect that he’s sorry and he’s pretty sure that it’s the last thing Alex wants to hear.

He heaves a long sigh when he hears the front door shut.

 

 

That’s one of the perks of living with a deaf person: you get to come home all tipsy and giggly and not give a damn about the noise you make. And Rachel is giggling like a teenage girl when she comes home around 1 to a dark and quiet apartment.

Her date with Donna went really well. They discovered they had a lot in common, starting with their love for travelling to exotic places. Something Rachel hasn’t done for years, she’s declined all of her parents’ offers to go on vacation with them. She knows Mike can manage things by himself but she also knows she wouldn’t fully enjoy her vacation knowing Mike was alone in New York. She’s never told Mike about it and has asked her parents to not mention it in front of him. They’ve offered him to go with them once, when Rachel and him were teenagers, and another time 5 years ago but Mike had politely declined, saying it was too much, that he couldn’t accept. So whenever Rachel gets vacation time, she rents a car and Mike and her, sometimes with Logan and/or Trevor, go camping Upstate or in New Jersey. She likes these moments but she misses the beach and the ocean. She misses doing nothing but sunbathing and drinking fancy cocktails. Donna likes that too.

With Donna she also shares a love for fashion and accessories, for haute cuisine, for cheesy movies and Sophie Kinsella’s books, for Shakespeare and Frida Kahlo. She had a great time and maybe it’s just temporary but all her fears of not being good enough for Donna have vanished, replaced by a huge crush and she can’t wait to tell Mike all about her date. About when Donna kissed her on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant and when she kissed her back.

She giggles again, toes off her shoes and walks to Mike’s room. The door is open and she smiles fondly when she sees Mike’s sleeping form stirring on the bed. He lets out a small whining noise and rolls around, pressing a spare pillow against his chest. He’s a heavy and very noisy sleeper, has always been. He snores, talks, sometimes intelligibly, sometimes not, and makes all kinds of noises. When they were kids and had sleepovers at the other’s house, Rachel would have to wear earplugs. Later on, she found that just stroking his arm or running her hand in his hair calmed him.

She leans against the doorframe and sighs. If only he could meet someone… He’s the nicest person she knows, maybe also the smartest and he’s got so much love to give, so much love that’s going to waste because he’s afraid of rejection.

“Goodnight, Mike.”, she swallows around the lump forming in her throat and closes the bedroom door.

Well, that definitely sobered her up.

 

 

Donna comes in Harvey’s office the next morning, carrying two large Starbucks coffee cups.

“I think I’m in love.”, she announces in a dramatic voice, causing Harvey to look up from his computer and rolling his eyes.

“After only one date?”

“Technically that’s two.”, Donna corrects as she takes a seat on the leather sofa. “She’s… I can’t even find words to describe her. It’s like we’re sisters or soulmates. She’s perfect.”, she grins.

“I would have loved to hear the details of your romcom date but I’m up to my neck in a contract that I need to draft before noon so I would really appreciate if you could come back later.”, Harvey says dismissively.

“Uh oh.”, Donna frowns. “What happened with Alex?”, she asks and takes a sip of her coffee.

“Donna.”

“I know, you have work to do. But I’m pretty sure it’s not just the freaking contract, you’ve done a hundreds of them.”, she gets up. “Wanna talk over lunch?”

“Look.”, Harvey stops typing and looks up. “I don’t want to talk over lunch because there’s nothing to talk about, okay?”

“You better come to terms with whatever’s bothering you before your date with Mike.”, Donna says, heading for the door.

“Shit.”, Harvey sighs.

He completely forgot to text Mike.

“Good luck with your contract. My offer for lunch still stands.”

“Thanks.”, he mutters, grabbing his phone. “And it’s not a date.”, he adds because he needs to, even though Donna has already disappeared in the corridor.

 _“Sorry I didn’t text you. Something came up.”_ , he quickly sends, not sure why he feels the need to justify himself, even less to apologize. It’s not like he promised or anything.

 

He doesn’t hear from Mike until after lunch (which he didn’t spend talking with Donna but with a hot dog in his office).

_“It’s okay, rain check?”_

He frowns when he first reads Mike’s text but then he understands.

 _“I meant something came up yesterday, preventing me from texting you. Tonight still okay for me.”_ , he types and sends.

 _“That still doesn’t tell me where and when.”_ is what he receives mere seconds later.

_“Meet me at 8 at Pegu on Houston Street in Soho, at the corner of West Broadway and Wooster Street.”_

He hasn’t been there in ages but he remembers a nice modern bar with the best liquor collection ever and cute barmaids.

_“Okay.”_

Harvey doesn’t bother telling him to dress nicely, Mike is probably already looking the place up on Google. Hell, he’s probably posting a freaking Facebook status, he thinks, rolling his eyes at himself when he suddenly feels the urgent need to check Mike’s page.

He checks his watch, mentally calculating how many hours he still has to finish what he’s doing before leaving and turns off the wifi to avoid any “distraction”.

 

 

“Thank god you’re here!”, Mike exclaims when Rachel comes in.

It’s almost 7 and he needs to leave in 15 minutes.

“ _I came as fast as I could_.”, Rachel signs.

“Hurry!”, Mike all but runs to his bedroom where he’s picked three different outfits for Rachel to choose.

“I thought it wasn’t a date.”, Rachel smirks when she enters the room.

“It isn’t.”, Mike confirms. “But I’ve checked the place on TripAdvisor and it’s like super trendy.”

“Okay…”, Rachel narrows her eyes at the bed where Mike neatly laid the outfit combinations. “So… Black jeans with… t-shirt.”, she points at the first one. “No.”, she shakes a head. “White shirt.”, she points at the second one. “Better.”, she smiles at Mike.

She pinches her chin between her thumb and index fingers and studies the different articles of clothing.

“Hurry, I need to go!”, Mike rubs his hands nervously.

“Hey.”, she turns around and purses her lips. “You want my help or what? It’s your first date, you have to be late, to make him wait.”

“It’s not a date!”, Mike rolls his eyes.

“Whatever.”, Rachel holds up a hand. “Black jeans, the white shirt and…”, she looks away. “Do you still have that black vest that you wore at my parents’ vows renewal ceremony?”

“Yeah, why?”, Mike replies with a confused look.

“Perfect. Wear it over the shirt.”, she smiles. “And your black sneakers, the nice ones.”

“Are you sure?”, Mike makes a face.

“Yes. It’s trendy and chic. Trust me.”, she nods.

“Okay…”, Mike whispers and he quickly takes off his clothes.

 

Mike arrives at the bar/club, he doesn’t really know, a little over 20 minutes late. He texted Harvey during the cab ride to apologize and tell him he was on his way. He was on time originally. He left the apartment at 7:08 but traffic was hell and when the cab pulled over in front of the bar/club, he realized he didn’t have enough change to pay for the ride and he had to run to the nearest ATM. So he isn’t intentionally late and he’ll make sure to tell Harvey as soon as he meets him.

The place is even more “hipster” than what the website mentioned and the crowd is younger than Mike expected. It’s not packed but when Mike walks through the doors, he braces himself and starts scanning the crowded room for a familiar face. Familiar is an overstatement, he suddenly fears he would not be able to recognize Harvey, having seen him only once. But his fear quickly dissolve when he spots him at the bar, talking to a beautiful woman. Well, he’s not actually talking, he’s smiling, clearly flirting with her and though Mike cannot see her face, he sees the way her shoulder heave up and down. She’s giggling. They’re definitely flirting with each other.

Taking a deep breath to fight down an impending blush, Mike slowly heads for the bar. Harvey’s wearing a black shirt and what look like black suit pants. He looks slightly underdressed compared to the other clients but also so effortlessly cool that Mike thinks it’s unfair. Because even though it’s not a date, Mike’s stomach and entire digestive system seem to have clenched into a tight ball of stress.

He waves shyly when Harvey looks up and spots him, hoping the dim lights will conceal the blush he hasn’t managed to keep down. 

“Hey”, he says and clears his throat because he’s felt his voice croak in his throat.

Harvey smiles at him and turns to the woman.

“Well, it was nice meeting you, Julie, but my friend has arrived.”, he smiles and the woman turns around.

“Okay.”, she sighs, giving Mike a quick once-over and she says something to Harvey that Mike doesn’t see.

“My pleasure.”, Harvey nods and he climbs off his stool.

“Sorry again.”, Mike says when Harvey grabs his arm and drags him to a nearby table. “I got stuck in traffic and then when I got here I-“

“I don’t care.”, Harvey smiles, motioning for Mike to sit down. “You’re here now.”

Mike takes a seat across from Harvey as the waiter arrives to their tables with two drinks: one tumbler of scotch and one glass of mojito.

“How did you know I’d order a mojito?!”, Mike exclaims when the young waiter puts the glass in front of him.

“I told you you shared way too much information on your Facebook page.”, Harvey smirks.

“So you _did_ go through my profile.”, Mike smirks back and Harvey’s ready to protest but Mike holds up a hand to shush him. “That’s okay because I did my own little investigation on you, Mr. Specter.”

“Oh really?”, Harvey raises an eyebrow and he brings his glass to his lips. “What did you learn?”

“Nothing about your favorite drink, sadly.”, Mike sighs theatrically. “Nothing too personal really, apart from your marriage to a real estate agent 5 years ago and an article about your brother. You two look like twins by the way.”

“That’s because we are.”, Harvey chuckles, hoping Mike won’t press on the marriage subject. “When he got promoted captain of the NYC SWAT team, The New York Times asked us if they could do an article on us. I remember that it wasn’t very good, the title was crap, something like-.”

“Brothers in law.”, Mike says flatly.

“That’s right. You’ve done your homework.”, Harvey cocks his head and nods, impressed.

“I’ve read better articles on you. Like the one you wrote for the Harvard Law Bulletin about creating your own opportunities. Very inspiring.”

“Are you making fun of me?”, Harvey asks with a frown.

“No!”, Mike shakes his head. “I found it very well-written and inspiring. Well, except for the verbatim that said ‘ _I don’t get lucky, I make my own luck’_.”, he snorts. “That was a bit cheesy.”

“Maybe, but it’s true.”, Harvey says, taking another sip of his glass. “Did you learn all of it by heart?”

“No, I mean… No.”, Mike blushes before closing his lips around his straw and taking a long sip. “So, tell me something personal.”, he looks up and smiles, hoping to change the subject. He doesn't really want to talk about it.

“What do you want to know?”

“Are you still married?”, Mike asks and instantly regrets it when he sees the muscles in Harvey’s jaw twitch.

Harvey probably thinks Mike didn’t see it but when you rely on your sight only, there are things that you learn to notice in order to communicate.

“Yes.”, Harvey replies. “But I won’t be in two days.”

“Okay.”, Mike nods and looks away.

More people have come in since they got their drinks and there’s a group of girls dancing around a table near the bar.

“Is it loud?”, he asks, turning back to Harvey.

“You mean here?”, Harvey frowns, gesturing around him, and Mike nods. “A little bit, it will get louder as the night progresses.”

“Should I speak louder, then?”

“You’re okay.”, Harvey chuckles. “Trust me, you speak loud enough.”

“Is that your way of telling me that I speak too loudly?”, Mike asks, trying to feel the vibrations in his throat by touching two fingers to his vocal chords because that's the only indication he can have.

“Not at all.”, Harvey shakes his head with a smile. “I never knew someone who didn’t hear could actually handle a proper conversation and be understood. So if someone in this room thinks you speak too loud, I challenge them to try and do what you do, even for a minute.”

“Reading lips isn’t that hard.”, Mike replies humbly as he feels his cheeks burn for what feels like the thousand time tonight. “And I only lost my hearing when I was 9, that’s why I can speak almost normally.”

“What happened?”, Harvey asks. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“It’s okay.”, Mike nods. “It’s not on my Facebook page so it’s only fair that you ask.”, he adds with a smirk, eliciting a broad smile from Harvey. “My parents and I got into a car accident and I lost them, and my hearing, that day.”

“Wow.”, Harvey swallows thickly. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Shit happens to everybody.”, Mike raises his glass with a smile. “So, tell me why do you think Kirk is the man?”

 

 

Three hours later, they’re coming out of a crappy burger joint they stopped by on their way home, hoping to mop up some of the alcohol in their stomach.

Harvey hadn’t expected to have so much fun with Mike. His original plans had been to have a couple of drinks with him, offer to go back to his place and fuck him. In a nutshell: minimum drinking and talking followed by lots of fucking. But Mike happens to be an incredibly interesting young man, a walking encyclopedia with a great sense of humor. Harvey would never admit it even if his life depended on it, but Mike is probably the smartest and funniest person he’s met. Smarter than him even, and that’s a little annoying. And to top it all he’s got the most gorgeous eyes and lips Harvey’s ever seen. Oh, and the way he stares at Harvey’s mouth when he talks? He’d experienced it at the party, but having to put up with it for a whole night is its own kind of torture.

“God I’m so full…”, Mike complains, rubbing his stomach.

“Let’s catch a cab.”, Harvey says and clears his throat as he walks to the edge of the sidewalk.

The burger and fries did help but he still feels pretty light-headed. Normally, he would have said something like “ _let’s head back to my place so I can finally fuck that pretty little ass of yours._ ” but after a unexpectedly very nice evening with the young man, Harvey doesn’t want to play it like this. He most certainly still wants Mike to end up in his bed, but he feels like he will have to be subtler. Well that, and he also wants to be, Mike deserves more than his usual fuckboy pickup lines.

“If you said something, I did not catch it.”, Mike sighs, walking up to him.

“Sorry.”, Harvey turns around and smile. “I said we should catch a cab.”

“Yeah, sure.”, Mike replies, checking the time on his phone. Almost 11pm.

He got three texts from Rachel during the evening but he doesn’t want to be rude so he slides his phone back in his pants pocket. He’ll check them later.

They start walking back to the bar because it’s on a bigger street where cabs are most likely to drive by.

“Is Rachel really your sister?”, Harvey asks because he’s been meaning to ask since he read it on Facebook but the opportunity never came.

When Mike doesn’t reply, he turns to him and smiles.

“You didn’t hear me.”, he says when Mike looks at him.

“No. Because I can’t hear.”, Mike rolls his eyes.

“I just asked you something but you didn’t, uh… read me?”

“I can’t when we’re walking side by side. You have to give me some sign when you want to say something.”, Mike replies, thinking he quite likes the idea of “reading” people as opposed to hearing them.

“Like what?”, Harvey stops and asks.

“Rachel usually does this.”, Mike explains, wiggling his fingers in front of Harvey. “Or that.”, he waves.

“How about this?”, Harvey whispers and he captures Mike’s mouth into a kiss.

Mike almost jumps, surprised by a gesture he _really_ hadn’t seen coming, but he doesn’t move away, he closes his eyes to think. He knows he’s not supposed to, he’s supposed to enjoy it, to kiss back, maybe to wrap his arms around Harvey’s waist or something. At least that’s what they do in movies. He doesn’t remember what he felt when Arnold kissed him after History class. It’s been too long and it didn’t last long enough to really leave an impression. It was quick and there were no tongue involved. _Speaking of tongue_. He shivers when he feels Harvey’s tongue darting out and tentatively running along the seam of his lips.

Now’s not the time for analyses, now’s the time for action. And Mike’s spent years thinking about this kiss, dreaming of this moment, imagining it. He’s spend hours wondering what it would feel like, if he would be good at it, if he’d like it. He wanted to be ready, even thought about kissing any girl who would make a pass at him so he could get some practice.

So, without any training, any experience at all, he decides to shut his brain, let his instinct take over. It tells him to let go, to let Harvey lead this dance and to follow his lead. He feels his lips part of their own accord and Harvey’s hands cupping his face. His brain really does shut when their tongue meet. The only things he’s aware of now are Harvey’s tongue and his racing heart. He can’t feel anything else. He’s not aware of the moans and little pleading noises he makes. And he must be flying because he can’t feel his legs anymore. He kisses back, eagerly, pushing his tongue in Harvey’s mouth, sucking on Harvey’s tongue for what feels like hours, until he feels a desperate need for air.

He opens his eyes when Harvey pulls away, probably needing the air too, and he finds that he already misses the contact, already misses Harvey’s warm hands on his face.

Harvey’s smiling at him. No, not smiling, _smirking_. Which somehow helps take some of the awkwardness away because Harvey smirking is normality.

“I guess this, uh, would probably catch my attention as well.”, he says, trying to sound unaffected.

“I thought so.”, Harvey laughs. “My place?”

 _Uh_. Mike thinks he knows what that means and he’s not sure he’s ready for that. That’s a bit much for one night. First date, first real kiss and now first… time? Gosh, he’s thought about that a lot as well. He’s in no way a novice to the concept of pleasure and sex (ask his browsing history) and he’s got a pretty good idea of his preferences in that department but as time was passing by, he was slowly warming up to the idea that he might have to take care of his own pleasure for the rest of his life. Who would want to deflower a 27 year-old deaf guy?

So yeah, he knows what Harvey’s offering right there and it’s scary. He feels so unprepared, so not ready. But he also knows that it might be his only chance at ever experiencing sex. Like a “now or never” moment.

“Okay.”, he smiles, hoping he looks and sounds like someone who’s done that a hundred times before.

It might be the alcohol, the adrenaline rush from the kiss, the feeling that he might regret it for the rest of his life if he doesn’t go, all of this combined, but he’s just accepted to follow a man to his place. _Okay_.

Harvey grabs his hand and they walk silently back to the main street.

 

They don’t talk again until they’re in Harvey’s building lobby. Harvey greets the doorman who hands him a small envelope Mike understands someone left for him earlier this evening.

“Wow.”, Mike gapes at the view of the marble and glass lobby. “And you’ve got a doorman! This place looks a like a 5-star hotel!”

“Wait till you see the honeymoon suite.”, Harvey turns around and snorts as they walk past the elevators.

“Aren’t we-“, Mike begins to say but he stops dead in his tracks when he spots the private glass elevator. “Who _are_ you?”, he gapes again as he watches Harvey insert a key before pushing a button.

“Harvey Specter.”, Harvey replies with a playful smile. “Get in so I can kiss you again.”, he pushes Mike inside the round glass-walled cabin.

Mike almost trips on his feet but he manages to grad the handle and he gulps in anticipation as Harvey presses the “up” button.

As soon as the cabin starts to move, Harvey grabs Mike’s waist and pulls him into a kiss. He doesn’t take his sweet time, doesn’t want to be gentle anymore and Mike doesn’t seem to mind because he responds beautifully, letting out those sexy little moans again. And Harvey can’t wait to hear more, he knows he will.

When the cabin finally reaches the top floor, the doors open directly to Harvey’s apartment. They’re both panting, pressed against each other and it takes them a second to realize that they’re going to have to pull away to exit the elevator.

The apartment is completely dark except for the city lights coming from below, and Harvey drops his keys and the envelope on the counter in the entryway before pulling Mike into yet another kiss.

Mike feels light-headed and it’s not the alcohol. It’s the arousal, the excitement, the lack of air, the need for more, the fear of what’s undoubtedly going to happen. He wants this, he’s rock hard already and Harvey’s pressing his very hard groin against his and it’s most delicious feeling ever. But he’s also never been more afraid in his life. He nailed the kissing part but he’s not sure he can keep the charade up for much longer.

He opens his eyes because he needs to focus, to stop thinking, to stop playing scenarios in his head, he need to be _here_.

And _here_ is a very dark place. He can see very large windows, the outlines of a living room… not much more and maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to open his eyes after all. Harvey’s still kissing him but it could be anyone because he can’t see him. He could be anywhere because he can’t see anything. _He can’t see anything_. He can’t hear, can’t see and there’s someone holding him, kissing him and he can’t see him, can’t read him, can’t talk to him, couldn’t stop him if he wanted to. He suddenly feels weak in the knees as a wave of panic sweeps over him.

“Harvey stop! Stop!”, he shouts, shoving Harvey away. “I can’t see you!”, he manages to say before falling down to his knees.

“Mike!”, Harvey calls, running to the nearest light switch and turning on the lights.

Mike is on his knees, his face in his hands, trembling.

“Mike.”, Harvey approaches cautiously. “Mike…”, he repeats, crouching down in front of him. “I’m sorry, I had no idea you’d…”, he rubs his forehead, completely at loss for words. He has no idea what to do or what happened.

Mike moves to sit on the floor, buries his face in knees and starts rocking back and forth while making painful noises that break Harvey’s heart.

“Mike, say something… Please?”

He watches as Mike moves a trembling hand to his pocket and takes out his phone. He hands it to Harvey without a word, his face still hidden.

“Uh, you need me to call someone?”

No answer. Not even a nod.

“Of course you fucker, he can’t hear you!”, Harvey chastises himself.

He looks at the phone for a moment, not sure what he’s supposed to do with it. Call an ambulance? Mike’s emergency contact?

“Rachel.”, he says with a decided nod.

Mike lets out a long whine and Harvey wants to reach out a hand, touch him, reassure him. But he has a feeling this would only make things worse. He unlocks the phone, which surprisingly doesn’t have a code, and starts scrolling down Mike’s contact list until he finds Rachel.

“Come on, pick up…”, he whispers, biting his lip.

“Mike?! Who is it?”, Rachel answers in a panicked voice and Harvey realizes it must be very strange for her to receive a call from her deaf best friend (brother?).

“Rachel, it’s Harvey.”, he says. “Mike is… Could you come pick him up?”

“What happened? Is he alright?”

“No… I mean, I don’t know.”, Harvey stutters. “I think he’s having a panic attack.”

“Oh my god, where are you?”, Rachel asks and Harvey’s sure she’s crying.

“At my place, I’ll text you the address.”

“I’ll be right there!”, Rachel says and the line goes blank.

Harvey glances at Mike who is still rocking back and forth, still trembling. He quickly types his address in a text and sends it to Rachel.

“Rachel is on her way.”, he says, placing the phone on the carpet. “Mike…”, he whispers, resisting the urge to run a hand down his back.

 _Shit_ , he thinks, taking a seat on the floor at a safe distance from Mike.

 

Mike’s phone starts vibrating 20 very long minutes later.

“Rachel.”, he says when he picks up.

“Tell your fucking doorman to let me up!”, Rachel screams through the phone.

“Pass him the phone.”, he replies calmly and hears her snap at the poor doorman.

“Mr. Specter?”

“Yes, David, this is an emergency, please let her up.”

“Alright.”

“Thank you.”

Barely a minute later, Rachel’s storming in the living room in what looks like her pajamas.

“Oh my god, Mike!”, she runs to him, completely ignoring Harvey.

She wraps her arm around him and noses the top of his head.

“Mike, honey…”, she whispers and Harvey’s glad to find that Rachel too feels to need to talk even though Mike can’t hear her. “What happened?”, she turns to Harvey with a reproachful look.

“I don’t know…”, Harvey swallows thickly. “We, um, we got here and I think he got scared because the place was dark or something…”

Rachel nods and grabs Mike’s head in an attempt to lift it but Mike buries it deeper between his knees.

“Mike, come on!”, she lets out a small cry and Harvey doesn’t remember having felt that bad in his entire life. “Mike, it’s me…”, she whimpers, kissing the top of his head.

“Should I, uh, call an ambulance?”, Harvey offers.

Rachel shakes her head and wipes her nose with the back of her hand before getting back up.

“I just need to find a way to bring him back here.”, she says, running a shaky hand through her messy hair. “Come on, Rachel, think!”, she snaps.

“Is he ticklish?”, Harvey asks.

“What?”

“If he is and you tickle him, that might make him look up and when he sees you, he…”, Harvey sighs. “I know, sorry, that’s a stupid idea.”

“It’s not.”, Rachel gives him a small smile. “It’s actually a very good idea.”, she crouches back down and delicately tickles Mike who starts dodging her hands with his elbow. “It’s working.”, she says to herself and she tickles him harder until his head finally jerks up.

“Mike.”, she stops and says, making sure he’s acknowledged her.

She starts signing something and miraculously Mike very slowly lets go of his knees and signs back.

She smiles and they sign for a minute or two. Harvey has no idea what they’re saying but he can see Mike gradually relaxing until Rachel signs something and points at him. Mike turns around and Harvey gives him a tentative smile, which Mike doesn’t return. He doesn’t look upset, he looks embarrassed and sad.

“We’re going to go.”, Rachel says. “Thank you for calling me.”

“Look…”, Harvey licks his lips nervously. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, you have nothing to be sorry about.”, Rachel smiles and she turns back to Mike when he taps on her knee.

He signs something and she nods.

“He wants me to tell you he’s sorry.”, she says.

“Tell him he’s got nothing to be sorry about.”, Harvey smiles.

“Come on.”, she says and helps Mike up. She grabs his phone and puts it her purse.

“Goodnight.”, she says, turning around one last time before following Mike in the elevator.

“Goodnight.”, Harvey replies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out [the amazing sketch](http://hoshinoshizuka.tumblr.com/post/119223114686/sketch-of-mike-from-sosauffies-latest-fic) Shizuka draw! It's Mike, entering the bar and looking for Harvey ;) I love it!


	7. Deaf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much for the support and wonderful comments, you guys! I was planning on posting this chapter sooner but I signed up at a gym and have been spending lots of time there. Plus I got bored and uninspired a couple of days ago and decided to catch up on Grey's Anatomy... Bad, bad idea! I just spent two days binge watching season 11. That's why I usually don't watch shows, I get caught up and I can't stop watching. It happened with White Collar, The Good Wife and then with Suits. Arggggh.  
> Anyway, here's chapter 7. Hope you like it! Thanks a lot for reading. <3

Harvey doesn’t sleep that night.

After Rachel and Mike’s departure, he pours himself a glass of water, drinks a cup of coffee and then another. When he feels completely sobered up, as if what just happened hadn’t been enough to do the trick, he changes into home clothes, puts a record on his vintage turntable and begins cleaning his condo. It’s not that messy, the cleaning lady was there just before the weekend. But he needs to do something, he needs to keep his mind occupied because he knows he’s not going to find sleep.

He starts with the bedroom where he changes the sheets and then moves to the walk-in closet. He throws all of his ties on the floor and spends a half hour sitting crossed-legs on the carpet, carefully rolling them and putting them back in their drawer. He dusts off some of his old suits, checks his phone countless times, resists the urge to text Rachel, or even Mike, the urge to call Donna, and decides to tackle the kitchen.

He empties all of the cupboards onto the counter and the living room table and meticulously cleans every shelf, every door handle and does the exact same thing with his fridge once he’s done putting everything back in the cupboards.

He puts on another vinyl and does the dusting in the living room, on the record shelves, the coffee table, around the bronze statuette and marble vase on the buffet, on the counter in the entryway.

That’s when he spots the envelope David gave to him when Mike and him came in hours ago, and which he had totally forgotten about. It looks empty at first glance and Harvey has to tear it apart to discover what it hides: Alex’s wedding band. No note, no nothing. Just the ring. He sighs and throws it in one of the small drawers in the counter. He’ll deal with this later. He’s had his fill for today, he thinks, dragging his feet to the couch and slumping down on it.

There are two kinds of people in Harvey’s life, the ones he hangs out with and the ones he “has fun” with, to put it nicely. Alex was the exception, the exception which proves the rule that says: don’t sleep with people you love and don’t get involved with the people you sleep with. He broke it with Alex, thinking he could give a shot at putting his cynicism aside for once, ready to be proven wrong. Well, if he’s completely honest with himself, he’s broken that rule a dozen times, every time he slept with one of his friends. But the rules were clear and agreed upon, it was always a one-time thing. It didn’t hurt anybody nor his friendship with them.

With Alex, it started with sex and ended in a relationship. And it was fun while it lasted. While love was still there. Fun to play house with a guy he found both interesting and sexy. Fun to marry him as soon as the law passed just to spite the bigots. Then it got less fun and Harvey’s heart broke and then he broke Alex’s and what was left of their marriage was sex. Which goes to show that it was the only thing they should have shared from the beginning.

He doesn’t consider this divorce a failure. Because he hates the word and because he decides he prefers to think of it as an experiment meant to prove his theory about relationships. Harvey doesn’t fail, period. He doesn’t know disaster and he hates surprises. He carefully plans everything, from important things such as client meetings and medical appointments to more basic stuff like grocery shopping trips and gym sessions. Everything’s timed and planned so he knows exactly what is going to happen and when. He manages his personal schedule and Ethan, his secretary, manages his professional appointments. When something gets cancelled or an urgent meeting needs to be squeezed in at the last minute, Ethan knows what to, how to work things out so it doesn’t have too much repercussion on Harvey’s schedule.

As for how those planned things go, Harvey’s got it covered. Always. One way or another. He’s made a living out of reading people and situations and masters the art of manipulation. He gets what he wants and doesn’t get what he doesn’t want. Simple as that. He wins his negotiations, closes new clients, seduces men and women he sets his eyes on. Always.

Harvey Specter doesn’t know disasters and he hates surprises. And Mike Ross happens to be both. Mike Ross is a surprise. And a good one at that. A ball of smart and sass thrown into Harvey’s playground by fate or whatever higher power that decided to mess with Harvey’s perfectly planned life.

Tonight’s date was a complete disaster. His worst date ever, hands down. He could admit to one date, maybe two, that weren’t completely satisfying, mostly because the sex had been disappointing. But he’d never caused a panic attack. And though Rachel said he didn’t have anything to be sorry for, Harvey can’t help thinking he caused this somehow. And he feels bad for not having had the proper reaction, for not having been able to help Mike.

The moment he realized he couldn’t speak to him, the moment he realized that Mike would not look up because he couldn’t hear him call his name, Harvey became fully aware of Mike’s handicap and what it really meant for the young man. The challenges he was undoubtedly faced with everyday. The ones he encountered growing up, the ones he’ll face in the future. He tries to imagine what it would be like to not be able to have everything under control, to have to analyze situations with his eyes only. The tone of voice is a great indicator of emotions and he can’t imagine himself talking to people without having that information. It would be scary. How can you trust what anyone says without a full scope of their emotions? Of course Mike got scared. He couldn’t hear nor see Harvey when they got in the apartment.

Still, Harvey can’t figure out why he cares, why he doesn’t just brush he whole incident off and move on, why the image of a prostrate Mike won’t leave his mind, why he actually can’t really call the whole thing a disaster. He had fun with Mike, more fun than he’d had in years…

The morning sun is rising over Manhattan and through the floor-to-ceiling windows, and Harvey yawns loudly. Night’s over. Time to shower and get ready for work. He might manage to brush it off with work after all, he thinks.

 

 

Rachel’s alarm goes off at 7 and she curses under her breath, her eyes still closed, before blindly extending an arm to grab her phone and turn it off. When she doesn’t feel the wood of her nightstand under her fingers but a patch of soft hair instead, she opens her eyes and suddenly remembers where she is and why.

They took a cab from Harvey’s place back to theirs, Rachel had asked the driver to wait in front of the building, and Mike remained completely silent and motionless during the ride. Once in the apartment, he signed a sad “ _thank you_ ” with his head down, and went straight to bed. She waited for a minute and joined him under the covers. When she heard the familiar snore, she closed her eyes, resuming what she was doing before she got the call from Harvey. Nightmares and Mike’s snoring basically ruined her night, waking her up every half hour, but she couldn’t find the courage to get up and go get her earplugs. And she didn’t want to leave Mike’s side anyway.

She sits up and stretches. It feels like she hasn’t slept at all, she winces, looking around the room for her ringing phone, which she finally finds in her handbag. She turns it off and checks her schedule to make sure she doesn’t have anything important to attend today because she’s not sure she could sit through a negotiation or a court hearing without dozing off. Thankfully, she only has a meeting with a witness for her pro bono case right before lunch. She texts a quick _“Morning ;)”_ to Donna and puts her phone back in her bag.

Mike’s lying on his front, snoring loudly, sleeping peacefully. She decides let him rest a little more while she eats her breakfast and gets dressed because she knows he’ll feel like crap when he wakes up. She had a small panic attack the night before taking the Bar and she remembers how she felt when she woke up the next morning: exhausted and sore, her whole body was stiff from having contracted so much.

He will also feel ashamed and that’s why she wants to wake him up, get a chance to talk to him before she leaves for work, he’ll go back to sleep afterwards if he wants to.

 

After a quick coffee and a bagel, she grabs a hairbrush, walks back to Mike’s room and sits on the edge of the bed. She strokes Mike’s cheek with a fond smile, causing him to instantly stop snoring.

“Hey.”, she smiles when he finally opens his eyes.

“Hey.”, he replies, his voice raspy and low, and he rubs his eyes.

She starts brushing her hair, waiting for Mike to fully wake up and settle back into reality.

Mike rubs his face and clears his throat as he sits up on the bed. It all comes back to him like a slap in the face when he notices that he’s still fully dressed in yesterday’s clothes. The bar, the mojitos, the old fast-food restaurant, the crinkles around Harvey’s eyes every time he smiled, the kiss, the feel of Harvey’s lips on his, the glass elevator, the dark apartment, the inexplicable and unpredictable panic attack, Rachel, her teary eyes, her smile when he begged her to tell him he was having a nightmare, that this wasn’t really happening, Harvey’s pitiful smile, the ride back to their apartment…

When he turns to look at her, Rachel gives him a sad smile.

“Wanna talk about it?”, she asks.

He shakes his head and bites his bottom lip.

“ _I’d rather not._ ”, Mike signs and swallows thickly. “ _But you’re not going to drop it, are you?_ ”

“ _No_.”, she shakes her head. “ _Alright_.”, she slides the side of her right hand over the palm of her left hand. It’s a little early in the morning to handle a whole conversation like this, but if that’s how Mike’s ready to talk, she’ll do it. “ _How are you feeling?_ ”

“ _Like an idiot._ ”, Mike makes a face.

“ _What happened?_ ”, Rachel asks, touching her middle fingers to her chest and then her index fingers to her right shoulder.

Mike doesn’t really know how to answer that. He knows the facts, he knows they were kissing, and he was really enjoying it, and then he went into panic but he can’t really connect the two things together. Sure the apartment was dark but he was never afraid of the dark, and he’s not afraid of Harvey. So why did he freak out?

He closes his eyes and shakes his head angrily as the scene replays in his mind. God he must have looked like a complete fool, Harvey must think he’s a complete nutcase.

“ _What did Harvey tell you?_ ”, he asks after a moment and they both can’t help a small smile when he signs “ _asshole_ ”.

“ _He said you got scared because his apartment was dark._ ”, Rachel replies with a questioning look. “ _Is that what happened?_ ”

When he finally saw Rachel’s face yesterday, when she managed to snap him out of his stupor, it had been her first question: did Harvey do something to you? He automatically replied that no, Harvey hadn’t done anything, that it wasn’t his fault at all.

“ _Yes._ _I panicked._ ”, Mike signs and he turns to look at the pictures on his bedroom wall. Trevor, Rachel, his parents, Grammy, his graduation… Good memories, people he misses so very much. These pictures, these portraits always make him feel better.

“We were kissing.”, he finally speaks up and turns back to Rachel who grins stupidly. “Stop it.”, he rolls his eyes. “We were kissing and I opened my eyes and it all happened really quickly. I lost track of reality or something… It’s like…”, he licks his lips nervously. “I don’t know how to explain it.”, his shoulders slump and he heaves a long sigh.

“I know what you mean.”, Rachel nods with a smile. “Panic attacks aren’t rational. They just happen, they’re triggered by something you may not even be conscious of.”, she explains. “Remember the one I had before taking the Bar? Sure, I was scared and anxious but I was prepared. It’s not rational, it just happens. So, you guys kissed?”, she smiles mischievously.

“Yes.”, Mike blushes and looks down.

Rachel waits for him to look up again and she checks the time on her phone. 20 minutes left before she needs to take off.

“Did you have a nice time?”, she asks.

“Yeah.”, Mike nods enthusiastically and she can see the way his eyes light up. “He’s, uh… He’s great. He’s not really an asshole, you know? He’s really funny and he was really patient, he… he didn’t talk to me like I was stupid or anything. Well…”, he huffs bitterly. “… that was until I ruined it all by losing my shit.”

“He doesn’t think you’re stupid.”, Rachel places a hand on his knee. “Or if he does, then he’s stupid.”

“Maybe not stupid…”, Mike sighs. “But I’ve seen the way he looked at me right before we left.”, he swallows thickly. “There was pity in his eyes.”

“Of course, Mike!”, Rachel exclaims. “He felt bad for you and so did I. What did you expect him to do? Wave you goodbye and pretend nothing happened?”

“Yes.”, Mike deadpans.

“Mike.”, she says and pauses to choose her words carefully. “You are deaf. You are handicapped and you can’t expect people to not mention it or feel bad for you. I wouldn’t want to be deaf.”, she says, pointing at herself. “I feel bad for you sometimes, just like you felt bad for me when I broke up with Karen. It’s called compassion, not pity.”

Mike purses his lips and looks away.

“Were you… um… Would you have, uh, slept with him if the attack hadn’t happen?”, she asks cautiously when he turns back around.

“I think so.”, Mike replies honestly.

“I’m not judging, I’m just wondering…”, Rachel gives him a concerned look. “Is this really how you want to lose your virginity? I mean, you know Harvey sleeps around. _A lot._ ”, she says. “You’ve waited all these years, I think you deserve another kind of first time, you know, something meaningful.”

“I didn’t wait!”, Mike snorts. “Nobody’s wanted me before. I don’t care about my ‘virginity’”, he airquotes. “Harvey wanted me.”

“Of course he did.”, Rachel smiles. “I know you think I’m biased because I’m your best friend and because I’m a lesbian.”, she chuckles. “But you’re not exactly hard on the eyes.”

Mike rolls his eyes with a smile and gives a gentle slap on her shoulder.

“Shit. I gotta go.”, she says, jerking up from the bed. “What are your plans for today?”

“I’ve got a meeting with the team, I’m showing them the pictures so they can choose the ones they want for their calendar.”, Mike shrugs.

“Good. You should text Harvey, tell him you’re okay.”

“No way.”, Mike huffs and shakes his head. “I’m never texting him or seeing him again.”

Rachel opens her mouth to protest but closes it again, it’s too soon, it’s too fresh, she knows he’ll come around eventually.

“I’ll see you tonight.”, she smiles.

“Yeah…”

 

Harvey’s swallowing his third cup of coffee when Ethan arrives at his cubicle around 8. Harvey doesn’t particularly like him, he finds him unfunny and despises his tastes in the suit department. But Ethan is a hard worker and he understands Harvey, caters to his every need without needing to be told twice, sometimes even anticipating them. And that’s what matters, Harvey doesn’t need more from the young man.

“Mr. Specter.”, Ethan says with a nod as he knocks on the open door. “Can I be of any help?”

“Morning, Ethan.”, Harvey replies. “I’m fine, thank you.”

“Sure.”, the young man quickly walks back to his desk.

“I’ll let myself in, thank you.”, Harvey hears moments later and he smiles to himself.

Donna doesn’t like Ethan that much either and she particularly hates the fact that he insists on announcing each and every person that comes to see Harvey, even Jessica Pearson.

“God, he’s so annoying.”, she mutters, coming in and closing the door behind her. “So! How was your not-date with Mike? I’m going to ask Rachel, but I wanted to ask you first.”, she smirks, taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of Harvey’s desk.

“He had a panic attack.”, Harvey replies with a sigh.

“What?!”

Harvey heaves yet another sigh and gets up before walking to the window.

“We had a great time at Pegu and then we went to get something to eat and I offered him to go back to my place…”, he explains, grabbing one of his signed balls. “We did and that’s when he had a panic attack. I had to call Rachel.”

“Ok.”, Donna holds up a finger. “What did you do?”

“Nothing!”, he exclaims. “He got scared I think because my apartment was pitch dark, he pushed me away and yelled that he couldn’t see me. I turned on the lights and he was on the floor, all curled up, I didn’t know what to do so when he handed me his phone, I called Rachel and she came to pick him up.”

“Well, that sucks.”, Donna makes a face. “Did he say anything? Have you heard from him?”

“No, he wouldn’t even look at me… I don’t think I’ll hear from him again.”

“And do you want to? Hear from him?”

“Well, I hope he’s okay.”, Harvey clears his throat. “Maybe you could ask Rachel and tell me?”

“I will but I think you should call him.”, Donna replies.

“I can’t call him.”, Harvey gives her a pointed look.

“You know what I mean. _Text_ him or whatever.”, she rolls her eyes.

“I’ll let him contact me if he wants to.”, Harvey says dismissively.

“How much ‘ _fun_ ’ did you two have before he freaked out?”, Donna asks with a wicked smile. “Like, were you in bed or something? Maybe he got overwhelmed by your sex drive.”

“That’s not funny.”, Harvey gives her a reproachful look. “You should have seen him on the floor in the hallway, he was shaking and making these horrible noises…”

“I’m just trying to lighten the mood, sounds like you could use some cheering up.”

“I haven’t slept at all, I’m not in the mood for jokes.”

“Fine. I’ll ask Rachel and let you know how he’s doing.”, Donna suppresses a smile.

She’s never seen Harvey so concerned for someone that’s not himself or one of his close friends, and it feels good to see him care. She likes Mike, Rachel loves him like a brother so she would like him even if she hadn’t met him. But she did and from what she’s seen, he’s a smart and passionate young man. Her sisters had nothing but praises for him. And she’s seen the way Harvey looked at him at the party, he piqued Harvey’s curiosity and she knows how rarely that happens. But she also knows Harvey has a tendency to walk away from situations that involves him caring and using his heart so she can imagine what’s going on in her best friend’s head right now. She suspects that he’s somewhat relieved something happened to prevent him from succumbing to the temptation, because she’s pretty sure Harvey’s not interested only in getting Mike in his bed.

“I’ll see you later, Harvey.”, she says and as she heads for the door. “You should go home and get some rest.”

“I’ll think about it.”, Harvey mutters, putting the ball down, knowing full well he won’t give it a single thought. “Could you ask Ethan to come on your way out?”

 

 

Mike takes a long soothing shower and grabs a quick breakfast. He’s not really hungry and he feels like crap but he knows he’ll need the food for his meeting. His heart feels like it weighs a thousand pounds, he’s sad and ashamed and for the first time in many years he’s ashamed of being deaf. Of being a 27-year old virgin, deaf, prone-to-panic-attacks, freelance photographer.

With the help of Grammy, Rachel and his friends, he had managed to become proud of who he was, to stand up for himself, to acknowledge his limits but also his qualities and various gifts. Sure, he’s got a very high IQ, an eidetic memory, he can take decent pictures and he can read lips and talk. Sure, he’s accomplished a lot for someone with that kind of handicap. He sees how difficult it is for other people like him to get into school and then to find a job. He sees them each time he goes to the association’s offices. Trevor probably wouldn’t have a job if he wasn’t president of Hope.

So yeah, basically he should consider himself to be lucky. And most of the time he knows he is. But not today. Today he feels sad and angry. He could have had a complete other life, he could have dated guys, he could have been, say… a happily married surgeon by now. Have a son, a dog, own a house… He could have been anything if it hadn’t been for that fateful day where he lost everything. And it’s not fair. _At all_.

He takes a look at his reflection in the mirror and narrows his eyes at it. Now’s not the time for wallowing. Now’s the time for work. He’s been disappointed before, he’s been upset with himself, he’s felt sad before and he’s always managed to get over it. So he will, and it starts now.

 

 

Harvey takes a break from his long and meticulous research work to grab lunch. He could have asked an associate, or even a paralegal, but he didn’t have any pressing matter and he needed something to do. Research is a long process that requires complete focus. It used to be his favorite thing when he was still an associate. He would go to the file room and get lost in old court transcripts and books, he would spend hours looking for precedents, for ways to solve a case.

There are about 4 or 5 people before him in the line in front of the hot dog stand so he takes his phone out of his pants pocket and starts going through his email.

“Hey, I’m talking to you!”, he hears a man shout and he normally wouldn’t give a damn about what’s happening around him, especially when his stomach is empty and screaming for food, but he’s bored and could use a little distraction so he looks up.

“I was there before you!”, the visibly very angry man shouts.

The people he’s screaming at, a man and a woman, look at each other with a confused look and start signing.

“I’ve been waiting in this line for 10 minutes!”, the man continues, completely ignoring the fact that the couple can’t hear him. “And you just-“

“Stop screaming.”, Harvey steps in. “They’re deaf, they can’t hear you.”

“Hey, mind your own business, okay?”, the man turns around and says. “I don’t care if they’re deaf or blind or whatever, I was there before them!”

“Oh shut up! What is it? 5th grade?”, Harvey snaps. “Okay.”, he looks at the couple and smiles, lifting a thumb up and gesturing towards the cart with a tilt of his chin.

The angry man huffs and looks around, waiting for the other people in the line to take his side but they’re all looking down.

“Fine.”, the man holds up his hands. “Handicapped people go first, I get it.”, he mocks.

“I thought I asked you to shut up.”, Harvey threatens as the deaf couple begins to place their order by pointing at the ingredients. “Actually, you know what?”, he takes a step closer to the man. “Go. Go eat somewhere else.”

“What the h-“

“Now.”, Harvey steps even closer, nostrils flared, hands balled up into tight fists.

The (obviously smart) man purses his lips and exhales sharply before turning on his heel and walking away.

Harvey clears his throat and straightens up. The couple grabs their hotdogs and they both turn around. The woman signs something with a grateful smile and Harvey guesses it’s a thank you so he gives her a quick smile.

“Lots of mustard, please.”, he tells the vendor and drops a 10-dollar bill on the counter.

 

 

Rachel and Donna have lunch together at a little restaurant near Pearson-Specter. Turns out Rachel’s meeting was in the neighborhood so she phoned Donna. They ordered filet mignon and talked about what happened last night, Rachel told her about the mini-panic attack she experienced before the Bar exam and Donna told her Harvey felt bad.

“It’s going to be a beautiful weekend and Neal called to invite me and all our friends to his and Nicholas’ house in the Hamptons.”, Donna says, taking a sip of her coffee.

“They have a house in the Hamptons?!”, Rachel gapes.

“Yes and it’s right by the beach.”, Donna nods with a smile. “They said I should ask you to come over with me.”

“Oh but… um…”, Rachel clears her throat. She doesn’t want to leave Mike alone for two days, not after what happened with Harvey. “That’s… nice but I don’t feel comfortable leaving Mike-“

“Neal invited Mike too, he told me he was going to ask him on Facebook.”, Donna cuts her with a knowing smile.

“I don’t think Mike will want to go, you know…”, Rachel makes a face. “He told me he didn’t want to see Harvey ever again.”

“Harvey’s not coming.”, Donna replies, taking out her credit card. “He’s having lunch with his father and brother on Saturday.”

“Oh okay.”, Rachel nods. “I don’t know what he told Neal but I’m pretty sure he declined.”

“Then tell him Harvey’s not coming.”, Donna winks. “Come on, it’s going to be fun.”

“I’ll try.”, Rachel sighs. “Look.”, she clears her throat again. “I know it seems like Mike’s always in the way and I hope you, uh, I mean… He’s like my brother and-“

“Hey.”, Donna places a hand on hers. “I know, Rachel. I know Mike is really important to you and I like him a lot and I think it’s really nice that you two are this close. I’m very close to my sisters too and I would be just as protective as you are if one of them was… deaf.”, she smiles. “I understand.”

“Okay.”, Rachel smiles and blushes. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. I like Mike but I really like you too.”, Donna smirks.

“Um, I… The feeling’s mutual.”, Rachel looks down at their hands.

“Good. Let’s go, I’ll take care of the tab.”, Donna squeezes her hand and gets up.

 

 

Harvey doesn’t text him and Mike doesn’t text Harvey. Rachel doesn’t bring it up because Mike seems fine and she doesn’t want to upset him. She doesn’t really have to worry about him because he’s got a pretty busy week and he seems okay, she cannot be sure he’s not pretending to be but he seems fine, just like he was before the date, before he met Harvey.

She manages to convince him to go to Neal and Nicholas’s house. Because he needs this, he needs some time away and she’s seen how much fun he had at Donna’s party, and because she needs this too. She desperately needs to go away from New York, from work. She wants to see the ocean, be lazy… and she wants to share it with him, she wants him to be there. So she spends two whole evenings arguing with him, listing all the reasons why they should go, reassuring him (they know you, they know you’re deaf, you like them, Harvey’s not coming so it’s not going to be awkward, only Donna and me know what happened, _Wait, Donna knows?_ Of course she knows, Harvey told her. _What did he say to her?_ I don’t know but he’s not coming so it doesn’t matter…) and in the end she manages to not only convince him but also to make him feel happy to go.

 

Donna comes to pick them up at 8 on Friday night and the three of them drive to the Hamptons. Mike sits in the back and sleeps for most of the ride, exhausted by a long day of shooting a pregnant woman and a married couple, whose wedding he covered a month ago and who wanted to have their picture taken at the Statue of Liberty.

They make a quick stop at a gas station to use the bathroom and grab a sandwich and crisps, and it’s past midnight when they finally drive through the large iron gates of Nicholas and Neal’s beach house.

“Hey!”, Donna cheers when they walk in. “Tell me there’s wine.”, she drops her Louis Vuitton luggage on the floor.

“Hey yourselves.”, Neal smiles, walking towards them in the hallway, and he hugs her and then Rachel. “Nice to see you Mike, I’m glad you changed your mind.”

“I’m glad I did.”, Mike replies, letting himself be pulled in a hug.

“Yeah, there’s wine.”, Neal chuckles. “And it being your first thought entering the house doesn’t surprise me one bit. Drop your bags here and come with me.”

“Hey, I just drove for over 4 hours, I deserve a glass.”, Donna protests as they walk to the living room.

The living room has two big white couches, a couple of armchairs and a gigantic tv screen. A set of light grey curtains separate it from the dining room, which, from what Mike can see, is equally huge and well-decorated.

“Everybody’s here!”, Donna grins, spotting Lucy and Stephen.

“Well, obviously not, a lot of us couldn’t make it on such short notice.”, Stephen gets up from his seat and starts hugging them. “But that’s better, we all get to get our own room.”

“There’s enough bedroom for all of us?!”, Rachel asks, wide-eyed.

“Yep.”, Nicholas replies with a smile. “There are 6 bedrooms.”

“Wow.”, Rachel nods, looking around the impressive living room.

It’s not like she’s not used to beautiful places and big houses, her parents are very wealthy and she grew up in a big town house with lots of rooms. But there’s something about these two rather young men owning a beach house in the Hamptons that impresses her.

“How are you doing, Mike?”, Nicholas asks, motioning for them to take a seat around the glass and driftwood coffee table.

“I’m good, thanks.”, Mike smiles.

“I’m glad you’re here. Hey, I checked your website, you’ve got some beautiful pictures on there, do you sell them?”, Nicholas asks, pouring them each a glass of red wine.

“No, they’re just here as examples of what I can do.”, Mike replies. “But I could give you one if there’s one that you like.”

“You should never give away your work, Mike.”, Nicholas says and Neal nods in agreement. “It has a value, giving it for free strips it of its value. So yeah, there’s one picture, one with the Brooklyn Bridge that Neal and I really love, we’re thinking of hanging it up there.”, he points at one of the very few blank spots on the wall opposite the bay window. “But we want to buy it. So, just tell us your price.”, he smiles.

“I, uh, don’t know…”, Mike licks his lips. “I’m not really comfortable with, uh, selling it to you.”

“Why? Because we’re friends?”, Neal laughs. “Let me tell you something about friendship and work. When Nick and I wanted to buy this house, we naturally went to Harvey for the paperwork.”, he begins to tell and Mike’s heart tightens in his chest at the mention of Harvey’s name. “Real estate’s not specialty but we wanted to negotiate and negotiation is his specialty. He met with the guy from the agency twice, had him lower the price 5% and checked the contract before we signed it.”, he stops and sighs. “Then we invited him for dinner to thank him and we had a great time and all… but before he left he handed us an envelope. I asked what it was and you know what he said?”

Donna starts laughing and Mike shakes his head.

“He said: this is my invoice, since I was coming over tonight, I thought I’d save a stamp and give it directly to you.”, Neal chuckles.

“No way!”, Mike gapes. “He made you pay for his help?”

“That’s the point, Mike.”, Nicholas lifts up a finger. “We did not pay for his help, we paid for his work. He worked for us. Of course, at first, both Neal and I were surprised, to say the least, and we stopped calling him, you know, just to let him know that we didn’t really agree with the way this thing ended. He called me a week later to ask me if we were done sulking.”, he shakes his head with a smile and everybody in the room laughs. Even Mike knows how “Harvey” that is. “I lashed out on him. Called him a bad friend and everything. And he listened, didn’t say a word until I was finished. Then he explained it to me. He said that yes, friends did help each other moving, planning parties, building furniture, that kind of stuff. That’s when he said that he didn’t _help_ us, that he _worked_ for us. That we asked him to use his work skills and his time to buy our house and that these things had a price.”, he smiles. “What I’m trying to say here, what Harvey explained to me, is that friends don’t do favors to each other with work-related problems. Unless you’ve really hit the bottom or are running out of money, he made me understand that asking your friends for free stuff when this stuff is their work is undermining their work and skills.”

“He’s a pain in the ass but he’s almost never wrong.”, Stephen agrees, raising his glass.

“That’s why he’s a pain in the ass.”, Donna laughs, clinking her glass against his.

“So, how much?”, Neal asks with a smile. “For the picture?”

“I don’t know!”, Mike chuckles. “I haven’t thought about it… Can I tell you later?”

“Of course.”, Neal winks. “Let’s get all you settle in your rooms and go to bed.”

They all rise from the couches and start heading for the corridor, Rachel, Donna and Mike grab their bags and follow them.

“Do you, um…”, Donna whispers to Rachel. “Do you want a room for yourself or…”

“You want to share a room?”, Rachel whispers with a knowing smile.

“Yes. I mean, that’s an option, unless you want to be with Mike… or alone.”

“Not with Mike, no thanks, I forgot my earplugs.”, Rachel laughs. “I’d love to… uh, share a room with you.”

“Mike, this can be your room if you like it.”, Nick announces when he opens the first door.

Everybody turns around when Mike doesn’t reply.

“Sorry, if you said something, I didn’t see it.”, Mike blushes and Rachel squeezes his arm.

“Oh shit, sorry, of course.”, Nick smiles. “I said that this can be your room if you like it.”, he repeats.

“Sure.”, Mike smiles back. “Of course I like it, your house is amazing.”

“Well, thank you.”, Nick winks. “There’s a bathroom here.”, he gestures towards a door inside the room. “Do you need anything?”

“I don’t think so, it’s perfect, thank you.”, Mike nods.

“Goodnight then.”, Nick says. “Our bedroom is the door at the end of the corridor, come see us if you need anything, alright?”

“Alright.”, Mike nods again. “Goodnight.”

“ _I’ll be right there._ ”, Rachel signs before following Nick and Neal to her bedroom.

 

Mike closes the door behind him and walks to the sliding doors. They lead to a patio with a wooden table and chairs. It’s pitch dark outside but he can see the stars and moon. No clouds, it’s going to be a beautiful day tomorrow, he thinks. Or rather later today, he sighs when he checks the time on his phone.

He jerks around when he sees something moving behind him.

“Hey.”, Rachel smiles. “Is everything okay? Are you okay?”

“Yes, it’s really nice.”, Mike replies, gesturing around the bedroom. “How’s your bedroom?”

“Um, I’m… staying with Donna.”, Rachel replies with a shy smile.

“Behave.”, Mike teases.

“Come on!”, Rachel slaps his shoulder. “Of course!”, she grins. “It’s the first door on the right so if there’s anything, you come see me, okay?”

“Everything’s going to fine, Rach’.”, he rolls his eyes.

“I know but I-“

“Go to bed with your girlfriend, I’m fine.”, Mike points at the door.

“Alright.”, she sighs. “ _Goodnight._ ”, she signs and pulls him into a hug.

“Goodnight.”, Mike replies.


	8. Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a looonnnggg chapter for you guys! I hope you like it. Thanks again so much for your support.  
> xoxo

Rachel opens her eyes and takes a minute to appraise her surroundings. The bedroom is bathed in sunlight and she thinks she can hear the waves crashing on the beach.

She rubs her eyes before rolling on her side, unable to suppress a grin when her nose touches a wave of long and deliciously smelling red hair.

She slept like a baby. She has no idea what time it is and she doesn’t care at all, she hasn’t felt that good in a long time. That happy. And there are still so many things to discover, so many smiles to give, so many patches of skin to uncover. She’s had 4 girlfriends before Donna, she knows that the beginning is a fairytale, that’s what it’s supposed to be, and she also knows it doesn’t mean it will last forever. But it’s different this time, and she hopes Donna feels it too. She is right where she’s supposed to be, right here in this bed next to this gorgeous and hilarious woman.

“Stop thinking so loud.”, Donna mumbles sleepily. “Go back to sleep.”

Rachel giggles and moves closer to her, throwing an arm over her waist, nuzzling the back of her neck.

“Gladly.”, she sighs happily and closes her eyes.

 

 

Mike yawns and drags himself out of bed, heading straight for the window.

When he was a little boy, his favorite thing in the morning was to open the curtains or blinds to look at the sky. He would then run to the kitchen where his mum was preparing breakfast and tell her how he’d like to dress. She would smile fondly and ask him to go put his pajamas back on, that they would choose his outfit after breakfast. Mike can only sleep naked. Ever since he was a little baby. His parents brought him to see a therapist, they tried lighter material, shorter pajama pants, everything… nothing worked and they never understood why he needed to be naked in bed. When Rachel came for a sleepover, he had to at least put a pair of underwear and he remembers that he hated it. He still can’t sleep well if not naked and he still has no idea why that is.

When Mike opens the curtains, he smiles at the full and bright sun hanging high in the spotless blue sky. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. _Definitely no jacket today_.

He puts on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and cautiously steps out of his bedroom.

The house looks quiet, the other bedroom doors are closed and he walks to the kitchen, he thinks he remembers where it is.

Neal appears in the doorway as Mike’s about to get in, his hands full with cups.

“Hey, sleep well?”, he smiles.

“Yes, thanks, you?”, Mike replies, following him to the living room.

“Yep.”, Neal turns around and smile. “It’s a beautiful day…”, he says, stepping outside on a enormous terrace. “… I thought we should have breakfast here.”, he points with his chin at a large wooden table where coffee, orange juice and various pastries have been laid.

“Neat.”, Mike grins and rubs his hands together. “I’m starving.”

“Help yourself, coffee?”

“Yes, please.”

“So, Mike J. Ross”, Neal hands him a steaming cup. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

“No.”, Mike shakes his head. “I, uh,-“

“Boyfriend?”, Neal winks.

“That’s better, but no.”, Mike shrugs.

“Why not?”, Neal asks and takes a sip of his own cup.

“Why not?!”, Mike chuckles. “I don’t know! Ask them.”

“Ok.”, Neal puts his cup down and straightens up. “When was the last time you-“, he begins to ask but is visibly distracted by something happening behind Mike.

Mike turns around and sees Lucy, dressed in a _very short_ nightie, walking towards them with a smile. _Saved by the freaking bell_.

“Morning ladies.”, she yawns. “How are we doing today?”

“Good.”, Mike replies, exhaling discreetly.

“Now that’s a nice looking breakfast table.”, she raises an eyebrow and takes a seat next to Mike.

“Coffee?”, Neal asks and she nods with a thumb raised up because her mouth’s already full of croissant. “Nick and I thought we could have a picnic on the beach, what do you think?”, he asks, looking at Mike to make sure he’s “listening”.

“Sure, why not?”, Mike smiles.

“You’re pale as a ghost.”, Lucy pokes him in the ribs. “You’ll have to wear a lot of sunscreen.”, she chuckles, bringing her cup to her lips.

“I know.”, Mike laughs. “I got badly sunburnt when I was 5 or 6, I am very careful.”

“Where’s Nick by the way?”, Lucy asks, grabbing another croissant.

“He’s getting groceries for the picnic.”, Neal replies, stretching his back. “I’m surprised Donna’s not awake yet, she’s usually the first one to get up.”

“Oh, I bet she’s awake.”, Lucy snorts.

 

 

“Hey.”, Rachel smiles when she opens her eyes again, not sure how much time’s passed since she went back to sleep.

Donna’s lying on her side, looking at her, a small smile playing on her lips. She looks fully awake and… beautiful.

“Hey.”, she replies, delicately sweeping a strand of hair out of Rachel’s face. “Sleep well?”

“Yes, the bed’s amazing.”, Rachel replies, pulling the covers up to cover her chest.

“It is…”, Donna smiles cryptically. “And you’re gorgeous.”, she adds, cupping Rachel’s face.

Rachel swallows and licks her lips. “Thank you…”, she whispers as Donna moves closer and locks lips with her.

God she’s missed waking up next to someone, she’s missed kissing in the morning. Donna kisses her gently, chastely, her lips barely moving over Rachel’s, barely touching. And Rachel wants more so she tilts her head and deepens the kiss, capturing Donna’s bottom lip between her teeth and biting gently before soothing over it with her tongue. Donna parts her lips, allowing access and with a moan, Rachel gladly accepts the invitation.

“Girls!”, they hear followed by a loud knock.

“You’ve got to be kidding me…”, Donna sighs. “Go away, Neal!”

“It’s noon! Come on, we’re going to the beach!”

Rachel clears her throat and pulls away with a shy smile.

“I said go away!”, Donna repeats. “We’ll meet you there!”

“Sure!”

“I love coming here but…”, she sighs, turning to Rachel. “… it’s impossible to get any privacy. We’re lucky we don’t have to share out room with somebody else.”

“Wanna go to the beach?”, Rachel asks.

“Sure, but I want to kiss you some more.”, Donna replies with a wink and she climbs on top of her. “Is it okay with you?”

“God yes…”, Rachel whispers, wrapping her arms around Donna’s waist.

 

 

Harvey’s sitting at a table in a cozy family restaurant in Brooklyn, a block away from his father’s place. They always meet there, his father knows the owner and they always get a nice table and impeccable service. He’s not really hungry, he just wants this “mandatory” monthly family lunch to be over.

Harvey’s early, as always when he’s meeting with his father. His father hates tardy people and he knows he’ll never hear the end of it if he’s late and he doesn’t want to have to spend the whole meal apologizing. He shouldn’t give his father more reasons to lecture him. Harvey knows he’ll have to bite his tongue because that’s how it always goes when they have lunch together, especially if Paul’s here too. Gordon Specter is probably the only person in the world who’s immune to Harvey’s charm and charisma, the only person who’s not impressed with him. Oh but Gordon Specter’s not a blasé person, he can be impressed, he’s impressed with Paul. He’s proud of Paul, and he seems to always find excuses to remind Harvey of it. To remind Harvey that he’s “ _just another useless corporate lawyer_ ”, that he “ _could have at least chosen to become a prosecutor. That would have been useful_ ”. Paul’s a cop, just like Gordon used to be. And not just any cop, Paul is SWAT. And Harvey hates the unabashed pride he sees on his father face everytime Paul talks about his job. He hates that his father never asks about his job. He hates that he’ll never be even remotely “worthy” in the eyes of his father. But most of all, he hates that he cares about what his father thinks about him, that it matters to him.

Harvey was very close to his mother, Helena. It’s as if their parents had decided to each pick a favorite and Helena had chosen Harvey. The truth is Harvey is a lot like she was: stubborn, hardworking, cautious, cynical and outwardly coldhearted. Paul, on the other side is a lot like their father: outgoing, impulsive and pathologically optimistic.

Helena and Gordon were still married when Helena got sick and passed away but they were more like roommates than husband and wife, the spark between them long gone. So long ago that Harvey doesn’t have memories of his parents being happy with each other, being in love. He grew up watching them either fight or ignore each other. And that pretty much shaped his view on marriage and long-term relationships. Paul, on the contrary, is a hopeless romantic and has been in many long relationships, had his heart broken each time but has never lost hope of finding the “right one”. He’s been dating Liz for 2 years now and, of course, he thinks she’s the one…

“Harvey”, Gordon says when he arrives at the table, pulling Harvey out of his thoughts.

“Hey dad.”, Harvey manages a smile. “How are you?”

“I’m good, how are you?”, his father replies, taking a seat across from him.

“Tired, it’s been a long week, but I’m good.”

“You’re brother’s not here yet?”

“Nope. You know him, he’s always late.”, Harvey sighs.

“He’s very busy.”, Gordon objects. “I think he’s on call today.”

“Of course…”, Harvey purses his lips and looks away. It’s not been two minutes and he already wants to go.

“Speaking of the devil.”, his father smiles, looking at his phone. “Hello?”, he picks up. “Yeah, we’re here.” “Oh okay, what happened?” “Yeah, sure, you do your thing, we’ll catch up later. Be safe.”

“He’s not coming?”, Harvey asks when Gordon hangs up though he already knows the answer.

“No, he got called on an emergency. Apparently, there’s been a shooting in Harlem.”

Harvey fights the urge to roll his eyes and finishes his glass of water.

“Why did he agree to this lunch if he was on call?”, he mutters.

“He doesn’t have much free time, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah I know, Saint Paul is working hard for the community.”, Harvey holds up a hand. “Let’s reschedule, then.”, he gets up.

“What? Why? He said he’d catch up with us later.”, Gordon frowns.

“I’m not hungry and I’m not in the mood.”, Harvey replies.

“Sit.”, his father orders, pointing at the chair. “And don’t pretend you have some place to be because I know you don’t. It’s not like your rich clients need you on the weekends.”, he mocks.

Harvey bites the inside of his cheek and pinches the bridge of his nose but he doesn’t sit back down.

“You know what, dad? I cleared my Saturday so I could have lunch with you and Paul.”, he explains calmly, but there’s anger in his voice. “I was supposed to catch up on the work I haven’t had _time_ to do this week. I don’t just meet clients for a living, I have paperw-“, he stops and exhales sharply. “Forget it, just give me a call when you settle a new date with Paul. Bye.”, he turns on his heel and walks away.

“Harvey.”

 _5 minutes_. That’s all it took for his father to ruin his day and Harvey doesn’t know if he’s angrier with the fact that his father didn’t even try to be nice or with him because he’s let his father’s remarks get under his skin. He’s pissed anyway and in no mood to do any work.

 

 

Donna and Rachel finally get out of bed, shower (separately) and put on their bikini and sarong to join their friends on the beach.

The warm sand is only a couple of feet away from the house and Rachel can’t help a small squeal when her bare feet come into contact with it.

“Oh god it feels so good!”, she grins.

Neal, Nick, Mike, Stephen and Lucy are sitting in circle by the water, talking animatedly and drinking beer.

“No no no no no.”, Mike laughs. “That’s not what I said!”

“Nice of you to show up.”, Stephen mocks when he spots Donna and Rachel and Mike turns around, following his gaze.

“Hey.”, Mike smiles at Rachel who winks at him.

“Let’s widen the circle.”, Nick suggests, getting up. “Make room for the lovebirds.”

Mike looks up at Rachel who looks away and blushes. Donna and her definitely weren’t just sleeping, he thinks, moving to the side.

“I’m not joining your cult.”, Donna announces as she spreads her beach towel on the sand. “I’m going for a swim. Who’s coming with me?”

Knowing how much Mike loves to swim and realizing he hasn’t heard Donna’s offer, Rachel waves at him discreetly.

“ _Donna is going to the water, she asks if anyone wants to go with her._ ”, she signs.

“ _No signing._ ”, Mike signs back with a frown. “Are you going?”, he asks.

“Yes.”, Rachel smiles. She doesn’t really want to go just now but she knows Mike won’t dare go if she doesn’t go too.

“It’s way too cold for me.”, Stephen declines and takes a swig of his beer.

“Pussy.”, Donna shakes her head with a smile. “Let’s go!”, she grabs Mike’s hand and starts walking to the water.

 

 

Two hours later, they’re all either lying on their towel sunbathing, reading or chatting. Everybody eventually went for a swim, some of them longer than others, like Mike who spent almost an hour and a half in the water.

“No more beers…”, Lucy sighs, pointing at the empty cooler.

“I’ll go get some.”, Neal gets up. “What else should I bring?”

“Do you have ice cream?”, Donna asks, spreading sunscreen over her arm. “I’m starving!”

“I bet, you’re getting too old for morning activities.”, Neal teases.

“Take that back.”, Donna stops dead and purses her lips. “Now.”

Neal bursts out laughing and grabs the empty cooler before heading back to the house.

“I’ll have my revenge!”, Donna shouts.

“So, we’ve got a new couple.”, Stephen raises his half-full beer bottle and turns to Mike. “Tell me you’re single, tell me I’m not the only single person in our group.”

“Yes, I am.”, Mike replies with a smile.

“I’m almost single.”, Lucy mumbles, readjusting her sunglasses on her nose. “I think Peter and I are done.”

“What?”, Donna huffs. “After only two dates?”

“We had four dates and he already annoys me.”, Lucy sighs. “Oh and you’re not the only one Stephen, Harvey’s single too.”

“Oh come on!”, Stephen snorts. “He’s never single. You know what? I bet he’s thinking about who he’s going to bring home and screw tonight as we speak.”

Mike swallows at the mention of Harvey’s name and something he quickly recognizes as jealousy does a funny thing to his stomach.

“That’s kinda true. But he doesn’t commit, so technically, he’s single.”, Lucy agrees. “And don’t worry Stephen, you’re not the only divorced person anymore.”

“Oh yeah that’s right, Harvey’s divorcing Alex…”, Stephen nods.

“I miss Alex…”, Lucy props herself up on her elbows. “He was funny.”

“I ran into him at Wallmart last weekend.”, Nick says. “He looked fine.”

“I don’t understand Harvey.”, Lucy shakes her head. “Alex is gorgeous, smart, funny and he was crazy about Harvey.”

“He wasn’t in love with Alex anymore.”, Donna replies and everybody nods. They know Donna knows everything regarding Harvey.

“He always gets bored of people…”, Lucy sighs and lies back down. “He even got bored of me, like, seriously?”, she chuckles.

“We need a wedding, I love weddings.”, Stephen says. “You guys…”, he turns to Nick. “Don’t you want to get married?”

“No, never!”, Nick makes a disgusted face. “I know Neal would want that but I’m never signing a freaking contract.”

“Remember Harvey and Alex’s wedding?”, Stephen asks. “God we had fun!”, he laughs.

“Yours was nice too.”, Lucy replies.

“Come on, you never liked Alice.”, Stephen rolls his eyes.

“That’s true, but your wedding party was awesome.”, she says and yawns loudly. “Where’s the freaking beer?”

 

 

Neal is about to go back to the beach with the cooler he filled up with beer bottles and ice cream jars when the doorbell rings.

“Harvey?”, he smiles broadly when he opens the door. “What are you doing here? I thought you were spending the day with your dad and Paul.”

“Paul couldn’t make it, he got called on an emergency.”, Harvey explains, walking inside the house.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here!”, Neal smiles. “Everybody’s at the beach. Do you mind sharing a room with Stephen? I gave your room to Mike since you said you weren’t coming.”

“Mike is here?”, Harvey’s heart skips a beat.

“Yeah, why?”, Neal turns around and shoots him a questioning look.

“No, nothing, I didn’t know, uh… never mind, I’ll share a room with Stephen.”, he replies, clearing his throat.

 _Shit_. He had no idea Mike was here, he wouldn’t have come if he had known. He doesn’t mind seeing Mike, a part of him is happy to see him even, but he isn’t prepared and he hates surprises. God, it’s going to be so awkward, he thinks as he drops his bag in the entryway.

“Are you really going to go to the beach wearing this?”, Neal raises an eyebrow and points at Harvey’s jeans and black dress shirt.

“Yes.”, Harvey rolls his eyes.

“Okay.”, Neal laughs and walks to the living room. “Come on!”

Harvey hates the beach. He hates the sand, it gets absolutely everywhere and he always brings back some of it with him when he spends the weekend here. He hates swimming even more. But by coming here, he knew he would have to go to the beach and he’s fine with it, he just didn’t bring a towel or shorts. He never does. He doesn’t even own a pair of shorts anyway.

 

 

“So you can recite any book, just like that?”, Stephen asks, dumbfounded.

“Yes, if I’ve read it.”, Mike replies, mentally cursing Rachel for telling them about his memory. As if he wasn’t “special” enough already.

“Ok, come on, read me something.”, Stephen smiles. “Anything. Your favorite book.”

“Ok.”, Mike clears his throat and closes his eyes. “One night I was sitting on the bed in my hotel room on Bunker Hill, down in the very middle of Los Angeles. It was an important night in my life, because I had to make a decision about the hotel. Either I paid up or I got out. That was what the note said, the note the landlady had put under my door. A great problem, deserving acute attention. I solved it by turning out the lights and going to bed.”, he opens his eyes and smiles.

“Jesus!”, Stephen laughs. “How do you do that? Which book is it?”

“Ask the dust by John Fante.”, Mike replies, feeling the blush creeping up his cheeks.

“Beer’s coming!”, Lucy sits up on her beach towel. “Oh, and look who’s here!”

Mike doesn’t see her speak but everybody turns to look so he does too and he _freezes_ when he sees Harvey walking behind Neal. He looks like a movie star with his worn-out jeans and rolled-up sleeves, his sunglasses and unruly hair waving in the wind. For a moment, Mike forgets about being shocked as he lets himself be mesmerized by the view of this handsome man walking towards them. A handsome, perfect man who _kissed_ him 4 days ago…

He almost jumps when he feels a hand on his knee. Rachel is giving him a reassuring smile, she squeezes his knee and nods encouragingly.

“I brought beer, ice cream… and Harvey!”, Neal announces, dropping the heavy-looking cooler on the sand.

“Hey.”, Harvey waves around with a smile, expertly avoiding locking eyes with Mike while he props his sunglasses on his head.

“I thought you weren’t coming.”, Donna asks with a raised eybrow.

“My plans changed.”, Harvey explains, motioning for her to make room for him on her towel.

Donna rolls her eyes and moves to the side with an annoyed sigh.

“You didn’t even take off your shoes?”, Lucy points at his leather dress shoes and though Mike didn’t get what she said, he understands thanks to the gesture.

Yes, Harvey looks seriously overdressed compared to the rest of them and Mike suddenly feels a little naked in his swimming shorts.

“I hate sand.”, Harvey replies, taking a bottle from the cooler and uncapping it effortlessly.

“You hate _everything_.”, Lucy rolls her eyes. “Pass me a beer, please.”

Mike swallows hard a couple of times, his eyes fixed on his crossed legs. He hadn’t expected Harvey to show up. He’s not prepared and seeing him is like a cold shower, like coming down from a high and falling hard on your ass.

Donna watches him and she thinks she knows what’s going on in his head. She didn’t miss how carefully Harvey avoided him when he arrived. Harvey’s going to hate her for what she’s about to do but she’s gotta help.

“No, he hates the beach more than anything.”, she says, gesturing dramatically to make sure it gets Mike’s attention. “And swimming pools too.”

“Really? Why?”, Rachel asks.

Harvey gives Donna a dangerous look and purses his lips. Why did she have to bring that up?

“I just don’t.”, Harvey replies, his eyes fixed on Donna, hoping she gets the message and shuts the hell up.

“He almost drowned when he was 11 and now he’s afraid to go in the water.”, she smirks, turning to look at Rachel and Mike.

Mike raises an eyebrow and manages to look at Harvey.

“So you haven’t gone swimming since then?”, he asks cautiously.

“He can’t swim.”, Donna replies before Harvey can say anything.

“Remember that time at Neal’s parents when Stephen pushed you in the pool and you _freaked_ out?”, Lucy laughs and everybody starts laughing.

“I’m sorry, I think I missed the funny part in your story, Lucy.”, Harvey sneers. “I could’ve drowned!”

“But you didn’t.”, Stephen replies. “And I had no idea you couldn’t swim, it’s like you could absolutely _everything_ , you had the best grades while working two jobs, you had all the girls and boys you wanted, you won mock trial… and yet Super Harvey couldn’t swim!”, he mocks but there’s admiration in his voice.

“Yeah well, swimming isn’t a necessity, it’s a hobby and it’s not one of mine.”, Harvey replies, looking visibly embarrassed.

“It is a necessity if you’re on a boat…”, Donna says, taking a spoonful of ice cream. “… like say a cruise, and there’s a problem and-“

“Just drop it, Don’.”, Harvey cuts her sharply.

“Fine.”, Donna rolls her eyes dramatically.

 _It worked_. Mike looks more relaxed. Harvey is pissed, and she knows he will ask if he can “ _have a word_ ” with her like he does when she screws up, or rather when he thinks she did. But she doesn’t care because the smile currently playing on Mike’s lips is worth getting her ass kicked by her best friend.

“Oh by the way, Super Harvey’s sleeping in your room Stephen since I gave his to Mike.”, Neal says.

“No way, he snores like hell and I didn’t bring my earplugs!”, Stephen protests.

“I don’t snore.”, Harvey huffs.

“I, uh, I can give you your room back if you want.”, Mike offers and he hopes the time he spent in the sun can hide his burning cheeks.

“Hey it’s not _his_.”, Nick chuckles. “It’s _our_ house. It’s just the smaller bedroom and nobody ever wants to sleep with him.”

“Are you kidding me?”, Harvey laughs. “People are lining up to have a chance to share a bed with me!”

“Not _that kind_ of sleeping.”, Nick rolls his eyes.

“I’ve got an idea!”, Donna exclaims, holding her spoon in the air. “Even though you say you don’t, you totally snore, Harvey. And there’s somebody here who doesn’t need earplugs.”, she winks at Mike.

“I, um, wh-“, Mike begins to say.

“That’s a great idea.”, Stephen agrees. “You two can take my room and I’ll take Harvey’s.”

“No!”, Mike protests loudly. “I mean, I, uh, Rachel says I snore too.”

Harvey smirks, happy to not be the main topic anymore, though he feels a little bad for Mike, who looks like someone just ordered him to sacrifice a kitten. He wouldn’t mind sharing a room with Mike, he thinks, putting on his sunglasses to discreetly check him out. He’s bulkier than Harvey would have thought and he hopes he put on sunscreen on his fair and _deliciously_ smooth-looking skin. He licks his lips, wondering who creamed his back. Probably Rachel, right? Mike wouldn’t have let anybody else tou-

“Earth to Harvey.”, Donna waves a hand in front of his face.

“Yeah, what?”, Harvey clears his throat.

“Where were you?”, she chuckles.

“Here, why?”, Harvey replies.

“So yes or no?”, Donna smiles mischievously.

He missed the question and he’s most certainly not going to ask her to repeat, that would be admitting to having been distracted and Harvey Specter doesn’t get distracted. He looks around for clues, only getting expectant looks from his friends and a smirk from Donna.

“Yes?”, he tries, completely clueless as to what he’s saying yes to. He should probably have said no, it’s always safer to say no.

“Then that’s settled, you’re sleeping with Mike.”, Donna suppresses a grin and looks down at her ice cream jar.

“Whatever…”, Harvey tries to sound casual. “It’s just to sleep, I mean, uh… if it’s okay with you.”, he turns to Mike who gulps and nods.

“Hum…”, Stephen whispers and smiles at Lucy.

“What now?”, Harvey asks.

“Nothing.”, Stephen chuckles, shaking his head. “Who wants to go swimming with me?”

“I do!”, Mike exclaims, raising his hand like a schoolboy, both because he wants to and because he needs a breather from this unbearably awkward situation.

“Let’s go then, Flipper!”

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”, Harvey leans in and whispers in Donna’s hear. “In private.”

 _Here we go_ , she thinks, getting up.

“I’ll be right back.”, she smiles at Rachel who makes a face and nod.

She has to run to catch up with Harvey who’s already climbing the wooden stairs leading to the house’s terrace.

“What was that all about?”, he asks with a pointed look.

“What do you mean?”, Donna replies innocently as she takes a seat on the outdoor couch.

“I don’t know, you tell me!”, Harvey shouts. “Did you have to humiliate me in front of our friends and Mike? Why did you tell him about my phobia?”

“Ok, first of all I didn’t call it a ‘phobia’, I said you were scared of water.”, she holds up a hand. “And second of all you should thank me.”

“Thank you?!”, Harvey exclaims. “And for what exactly?”

“For trying to even the level of embarrassment between you the two of you?”, Donna offers, completely unaffected by Harvey’s outburst. “I mean, I know you did your best to avoid him when you arrived but you should have seen his face when he saw you.”

“I was planning on talking to him, _in private_.”, Harvey purses his lips and puts his hands on his hips.

“Yeah well, I was trying to avoid another panic att-“

“That’s not funny, Donna.”, Harvey cuts her. “You think he wanted to share a room with me? You think you helped him relax by tricking me into saying yes when he cannot even look me in the eyes?”, he spits, stepping closer to where she’s sitting. “You think this is all a game?! You weren’t there the other night when he…”, he rubs his face and exhales sharply and Donna thinks that _maybe_ she went a little too far.

“Look, Harvey, I’m sorry.”, she swallows. “I’ll talk to Stephen and-“

“No.”, he orders. “I think you’ve done enough, I’ll handle it.”, he turns on his heel and walks inside the house.

Donna sighs and goes back down to the beach, dragging her feet in the sand. Mike and Stephen are still in the water and the others have resumed their activities. Harvey’s right, she probably didn’t help anybody with her little intervention. And now he’s mad at her and well, Mike should be too.

“Where’s Harvey?”, Neal asks.

“Oh, he, uh, he got a call so he went back in the house.”, she replies with a smile.

“We should go out tonight.”, Lucy says. “I wanna dance!”

“Oh yeah, we should go to SL East!”, Neal squeals.

“Does Mike go clubbing?”, Donna turns to Rachel. “I know it’s a stupid question but…”

“No, I mean, he could, he does feel the beat of the music when it’s really loud but he doesn’t really go out that much.”, Rachel replies. “But he’ll go if we all go.”, she nods enthusiastically because she knows he’ll never say no even if he doesn’t want to go. “Let’s just not, um, make a big deal about it, he…”

“Yeah, I get it.”, Lucy winks. “I’ll ask them when they come back and you will all pretend we haven’t talked about it already, alright?”

“Okay.”, they all agree in unison.

 

 

They don’t make a big deal out of it, Lucy asks them casually and they all decide to go. They ask Harvey when they come back to the house a little after 7 pm and Harvey shrugs, his eyes fixed on his computer as he pretends to be working.

They have dinner on the terrace, Neal and Nick fix a salad and grill steaks then everybody retreat to their room to shower and change. Harvey goes with Stephen and Mike wonders if he misunderstood their prior conversation about the rooms. Rachel comes to check on him at one point, to make sure he’s doing okay and she tells him about her morning shenanigans with Donna. They giggle like teenagers and Mike tells her he’s happy for her.

 

The group meets in the living room a little while later, except for Neal, Donna and Rachel, who are still getting ready.

Everybody looks and smells good and Mike thinks he’s never seen such a good-looking group of friends and if he didn’t know them and their back-story, he’d think they’re faking it for a reality show. He didn’t bring his camera, not knowing if he’d have time to take pictures but he sure wishes he did.

Lucy’s beautiful with her green eyes and long blond hair and she’s certainly the boldest and loudest of the girls. Nick and Neal are a picture-perfect couple, very fit, always dressed alike or in complementary outfits, perfect white teeth and hair. Stephen is a charming man, he has a contagious smile and a certain je ne sais quoi, something Mike can’t quite put his finger on but really likes. And Harvey… Well, Harvey’s perfect. He’s probably the most beautiful man Mike’s ever met. He’s smart, funny and kind, even though he acts like a jackass most of the time. Mike suspects that it’s a protective armor, he guesses Harvey’s needed it growing up and needs it now for his job, to be the best like he always seems to want to be in absolutely everything. And that makes him even more perfect, that endless quest for the number one spot. Mike isn’t like that, he’s given up on most of his goals either because he lacked confidence or because they just weren’t realistic goals, but he admires driven people.

He should have taken his camera, those would have been beautiful pictures. He’s made new friends for the first time in years…

 

“Who’s not drinking?”, Donna asks when she comes in the living room, dressed in a short green summer dress and peep toe pumps. “We need at least two drivers. Rachel agreed to be one of them, we need another one.”

“I am definitely getting drunk.”, Harvey replies, holding his hands up.

“Nick?”

“It shouldn’t be Neal or me, we’re allowed to get drunk since we invited you.”, Nick replies. “Mike?”, he asks but Mike is busy lacing his shoes.

Harvey gets up from his seat and walks towards him.

“Mike?”, he asks, crouching down in front of him.

“Sorry, what?”, Mike jerks up.

“Would you accept to be our second driver tonight?”, Harvey asks.

“Oh um, I can’t drive.”, Mike blushes. “Sorry…”

“Then you’re getting drunk, good on you.”, Harvey chuckles. “Lucy?”, he asks, getting back up.

“Hey, why not Stephen?”, Lucy whines.

“Okay, fine.”, Stephen sighs. “I’ll drive your drunk ass home.”

 

 

They drive to the club in Donna and Stephen’s cars. Rachel, Donna, Mike and Lucy in one, Stephen, Harvey, Nick and Neal in another. When Mike steps out of the car in front of the posh beachfront club, he can already feel the music pulsing under his feet. People always assume he doesn’t like clubs or can’t go clubbing because he can’t hear the music but the truth is that loud places like clubs actually are where Mike feels the most “normal”. Because everybody’s basically deaf in a club, everybody has to shout and articulate and use speech reading to communicate.

The two seemingly bored ladies at the entrance suddenly lighten up when the group arrives.

“Hey guys!”, one of them smiles broadly. “Long time no see.”, she winks at Harvey.

Mike doesn’t get what Harvey replies and he tries he hardest not to think about the fact that Harvey probably had sex with them, possibly together, as he watches him hug them. Stephen had “warned” Mike about Harvey’s busy sex life at Donna’s party and it’s all been confirmed way too many times since the beginning of the weekend. Mike knows he shouldn’t be jealous. He missed the train almost a week ago by losing it at Harvey’s apartment and deep down he knows Rachel’s right, he deserves better than a one-night stand. But it still hurts. A lot more than it should and Mike shakes his head and clears his throat as he follows his friends inside the loud building.

SL East is a very selective club, packed with beautiful and rich people. There are bottles of champagne on every table, leather couches, golden details all round the room, and crystal chandeliers hanging from the mirror ceiling. Totally something you’d expect to see in the Hamptons.

The group is shown to a large round table and couch by one of the two girls, Roby, who winks at Harvey before walking away. Maybe Mike wouldn’t notice these things if he stopped staring at Harvey all the time. He makes a decision to sit as far from Harvey as possible and to ignore him.

“Go order some champagne!”, Donna grins, poking Harvey in the ribs before he has the chance to take a seat.

He rolls his eyes and walks to the bar.

Rachel can only imagine how much a bottle of champagne must cost in this place and she discreetly glances at the menu sitting in the center of their table.

“Harvey’s paying.”, Donna leans in and says right in her ear, causing her to shiver.

“Why him?”, Rachel turns around and frowns.

“Because he wants to.”, Donna shrugs. “We’ve tried to split the bill, offered to participate, but he gets upset so…”, she smiles, stroking Rachel’s forearm.

 _5 minutes_. That’s all it takes for Harvey to be surrounded by women at the bar. 5 minutes in the club and he’s already laughing and being _touched_ by a dozen giggling long-legged women. And maybe this is worse than having to spend the weekend with Harvey. _Definitely worse_ , he thinks when Harvey places a hand on the small of one of the women’s back. He’s never been jealous, never really allowed himself to have a crush on anyone. But he can’t deny it any longer, he has a crush on Harvey. And from what he’s heard, Harvey’s bi which means every person in the room could potentially attract him. _Great_.

“I need to, um, get some air.”, he taps on Rachel’s shoulder because he needs her and Donna move to the side so he can leave the table.

“Is everything okay?”, Rachel asks with a concerned look.

“Yeah.”, Mike smiles. “I just need some air, I’ll be right back.”

“ _Do you need me to come with you?_ ”, she signs.

“I’m fine.”, he repeats. “I’ll be right back.”

Rachel nods, visibly unconvinced but she’s promised herself to leave him alone, to not babysit him.

Mike quickly leaves the table and practically runs to the doors he spots at the other end of the room, bumping into people as he crosses the dancefloor.

He’s surprised when he feels sand under his feet when he steps outside. There are a couple of people drinking and making out on the outdoor couches but it’s mostly desert. Which is a shame, he thinks, because it’s even more beautiful than the inside. It’s all wood and candles and white cushions, very romantic…

He walks to the wooden railing which probably only serves as a property limit and takes a big gulp of iodized air. It feels great to be away from New York and its never-ending ballet of people and cars.

A feminine hand closes around the railing next to his.

“Hey.”, a young woman smiles at him when he tilts his head around.

“Hey.”, he smiles back.

“I’m Amy.”, she holds out a hand.

“Mike.”, he replies, shaking her delicate and cold hand.

“Where’re you from?”, she asks, raising her champagne glass to her lips.

He can see that she doesn’t need to shout or anything so the music must be a lot less loud out there, which is probably why nobody’s outside.

“New York City. I’m here with my friends, they’re, uh…”, he gestures towards the doors.

She makes that face with the slightly narrowed eyes, she has that look that everybody gets the first time they talk to him. She’s trying to figure out what’s wrong with his speech. She does it very discreetly though, he has to give her that.

“I’m from New York too.”, she smiles. “Brooklyn.”

“Manhattan.”

“What do you do?”, she asks, turning around to face the beach.

It didn’t take long, Mike thinks. He usually can chat for a couple of minutes before the person turns around or just to the side and he can’t read their lips anymore.

“I’m sorry, what?”, he asks.

“Oh.”, she turns to him and she makes that other face. The one that tells Mike that she got it. “What do you do in New York?”

“I’m a photographer.”, he replies. “You?”

“Do you need models?”, she asks, stepping closer to him. _Too close_.

“I, uh…”, Mike swallows. “No, I mean… I-“

He stops dead when she puts her free hand on his cheek.

“I should go back inside.”, he says and his heart skips a beat when he turns to look at the doors.

Harvey’s standing in the doorway, looking at them, his face expressionless.

“Alright.”, Amy sighs and steps back but Mike doesn’t see her, his eyes are fixed on Harvey, who is now walking towards them. He sees Amy walking away in the corner of his eye and he exhales sharply, finally dropping his gaze.

“Are you alright?”, Harvey asks when he approaches him.

“Yes.”, Mike nods enthusiastically. Of course, Harvey thinks he’s panicking again.

“Rachel said you needed some air.”

“Well, yeah…”, Mike looks away. “It’s a little crowded inside.”, he adds with a smile.

“It always is, it’s the most popular club in the area.”, Harvey explains, his eyes studying Mike.

“You seem to know everybody here.”, Mike says.

“Nah.”, Harvey shakes his head with a smile. “I’ve been here two or three times, I don’t really like clubs. But people usually remember me.”

“I can imagine…”, Mike sighs.

“I wanted to talk to you about what happened on Tuesday.”, Harvey says with a serious face. “I’m really sorry I wasn’t able to help you.”

“Oh no please, don’t be sorry.”, Mike holds up a hand. He really doesn’t need Harvey to be sorry for him. _Not Harvey_. “It’s okay. If anything, _I_ am sorry for ruining your evening.”

“You didn’t ruin my evening.”, Harvey chuckles. “You only ruined the last part.”, he teases, poking Mike’s arm with his elbow.

Mike tries to smile but it probably doesn’t look like a smile at all, so he turns towards the beach so Harvey can’t see it.

“Hey.”, Harvey wraps his fingers around Mike’s wrist to make him look at him. “Let’s just forget what happened, okay?”

“Yeah, you’re right.”, Mike says bitterly. “Let’s just forget anything happened. I’m going back inside.”, he says and walks away.

“Wait, that’s not-“, Harvey begins to say. “Shit.”, he sighs, pursing his lips.

He should have rehearsed it some more because apparently it didn’t come out right. He thought playing it cool would work but Mike doesn’t seem at all cool about it. Harvey understands, he would be mortified if something similar had happened to him, plus Donna made it even more awkward with her little stunt on the beach, but he thought offering to forget about it instead of getting all weird would put the whole thing to rest.

“Hey handsome.”, he hears and he turns around to find Roby holding two glasses of champagne and smiling teasingly. “I’m on break.”

 

“Mike!”, Neal grins when he arrives at the table where only Nick and Neal are sitting. “Where the hell were you?”

“I was outside, it’s beautiful.”, Mike replies, taking a seat.

“Have a drink!”, Nick hands him a glass of champagne.

Mike grabs the offered glass and smiles when he spots Rachel, Stephen and Lucy laughing and dancing in the middle of the room. He’s truly happy for Rachel. He keeps telling her but it’s true. She was devastated when her ex-girlfriend, Karen, broke up with her, she swore off dating and completely lost faith in her capacity to be loved. So seeing her smile and dance, seeing her happy with Donna warms his heart.

“You guys don’t want to dance?”, he asks, turning back to Neal and Nick.

“I need to be drunk first.”, Nick laughs. “And this man doesn’t want to go unless I go with him.”, he says, pointing at Neal with a fond smile.

Mike smiles back and takes a sip of his glass.

“What’s your excuse?”, Nick teases.

“I don’t really like to dance.”, he replies with a blush.

“Then let’s get drunk!”, Nick exclaims, refilling his and Neal’s glass.

 

At two in the morning, Stephen announces that he’s driving back home and Mike and Neal decide they’re ready to leave too. Nick, Lucy, Rachel and Donna are somewhere on the dancefloor, among the thick crowd of partygoers. Harvey hasn’t come back to their table and Mike hasn’t seen him since he left the beach to go back inside. Since nobody mentioned Harvey’s absence, Mike guesses that it must be routine for them, for Harvey.

He had fun, he could’ve had more if he hadn’t spent the whole night scanning the room for Harvey but he had fun. Neal and Nick are the kindest guys ever and Nick’s really funny. He’s ready to go to bed now, ready to sleep the day away.

 

“Shhhhhh!”, Donna presses her index finger against her smiling lips. “Quiet you guys!”

It’s 4 in the morning and they’re all pretty drunk except for Rachel who stuck to two glasses of champagne.

Nick snorts and locks the front door behind them before turning on the lights in the corridor.

“Oh look!”, Donna giggles, pointing at a note taped on Stephen’s bedroom door.

 

 

> You are NOT sleeping here, Harvey.
> 
> S.

Harvey frowns and tries to open the door anyway. It’s locked.

“I thought we agreed that you were sleeping in your usual bedroom.”, Lucy slurs, leaning against the wall next to the door.

“I guess I am.”, Harvey chuckles drunkenly and he rips the note off the door and tosses it to the floor. “Goodnight.”, he waves generally and heads for his bedroom.

The door is ajar and he has to rub his eyes twice to make sure he’s not hallucinating when he gets in and flicks on the lights.

Mike’s lying above the covers on his front. _Naked_. Fucking naked, his perfectly round and pale ass in plain view.

Harvey hastily turns the lights back off and takes a moment to think about his next move. He just wanted to go to bed, to pee and then to go to bed. How the hell is he supposed to just lie down next to Mike? How is he supposed to find sleep when he all he can think about now is touching, grabbing, stroking and kissing?

He swallows thickly and moves to the bathroom where he manages to take a long leak despite his growing erection. He should sleep on the couch in the living room. He should take a cold shower and get the hell of this bedroom. Or he could strip down to his underwear, find something to cover Mike’s overly tempting body and lie down on the edge of the bed. Far, far away from Mike. Yeah, that’s what he’s going to do.

“You can do it, Harvey.”, he whispers over and over while taking his clothes off.

He comes out of the bathroom and takes a deep breath before allowing himself to glance at the naked sleeping body.

“Cover.”, he nods jerkily and rummages through the closet for a blanket.

He blindly throws it over Mike and exhales shakily before carefully climbing on the bed and rolling on his side, turning his back to Mike.

“Sleep.”, he nods to himself and closes his eyes.


	9. Waves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part two of the weekend ;) Thank you A LOT for your comments and very sweet words, I'm so happy you love this story. I'll try to post another chapter this weekend.

A boat’s engine, a roaring car, a mower… something loud is bothering Harvey, something really loud and annoying is tickling Harvey’s left ear. And his head is hurting. He probably drunk too much and he can’t find the strength to open his eyes and make the noise go away, or at least figure out what it is.

The roaring sound suddenly stops, only to be replaced by sounds, whines and loud moans. So it’s not something, it’s _someone_ , Harvey concludes as he slowly wakes up. Someone sleeping next to him. Who? He tries to remember going out and bringing someone home. No, he didn’t, he doesn’t remember it and he wouldn’t have let them fall asleep, this person would be gone by now. He did go out, yeah… he remembers. Roby, the champagne, the note on Stephen’s door- _Shit_. It’s Mike. Mike, who he found butt-naked in bed when he came in the room. Mike, who is currently snoring in his ear. Mike, who, apparently, is not on his side of the bed anymore.

Harvey opens his eyes, even though they feel heavy and it makes his head hurt even more, because he needs confirmation.

Mike has his face nestled in the crook of Harvey’s neck, an arm thrown over Harvey’s chest, a leg thrown over Harvey’s legs. The blanket Harvey used to cover Mike’s naked body is nowhere to be found, it probably fell off the bed.

He doesn’t know what time it is and can’t locate his phone as he lifts his heavy head to look around the room, doing his best to avoid looking down at Mike.

“’m okay… ‘m alright.”, Mike mumbles and nods.

Harvey snorts and grabs his arm in an attempt to gently push him back to the other side of the bed but it only causes Mike to tighten his hold on him.

“Mike…”, Harvey sighs.

“’m okay, donworry.”, Mike mumbles.

“I know you are.”, Harvey chuckles though he knows Mike can’t hear him, wouldn’t even if he weren’t deaf because he’s fast asleep anyway.

He realizes he won’t be able to push Mike away without waking him so he carefully rolls over on his side, turning his back to Mike.

Mike mutters something and sighs loudly and Harvey holds his breath for a moment, hoping he didn’t wake him. He can feel Mike moving behind him, adjusting on the mattress, scooting closer to him, so close Mike’s nose tickles the back of his neck. So close he can feel Mike’s breathing against his upper back.

He closes his eyes when Mike starts snoring again. He should go back to sleep as fast as possible, before Mike’s snoring gets any louder.

 

Mumbles, words, sentences, a foreign language, nonsense probably… Harvey has no idea what he’s hearing, what’s waking him _again_.

“Oh, for god’s sake…”, he mutters, covering his ear, the one that’s not buried in the pillow.

It doesn’t help, he can still hear everything, it’s just a little less loud.

He tries to squeeze his eyes shut, tries to will himself to fall back to sleep.

“Mike… please…”, he pleads, heaving a long sigh.

He’s facing the door but he can see everything perfectly, meaning the sun is up, meaning it’s maybe a good time to get up and leave the room, to forget about trying to get some rest. He doesn’t know how long he’s slept for and he doesn’t feel rested at all. He’ll sleep tonight, when he’s back home, in his bed, with the space and silence he’s accustomed to.

He clears his throat and rubs his eyes before very carefully shimmying out of Mike’s hold and leaving the bed.

Mike lets out a small whine and wraps his arms around Harvey’s pillow and when Harvey allows himself to turn around and look, he can’t help a fond smile. He should wake him and tell him off for ruining his night but instead, he finds the view of the young man clinging onto his pillow to be quite endearing. _And fucking sexy_ , he thinks, allowing himself one quick glance at the naked body. He quickly shakes that thought. “ _Forget anything happened_ ”, that’s what Mike asked and though Harvey’s not sure he really meant it, he’ll respect Mike’s decision. He can’t promise to forget, though. He’ll just not mention it again.

“Stop staring, you creep.”, he mumbles and rolls his eyes at himself.

He finds his phone in his jeans pocket and checks the time: 10am. Time for a jog. Running and boxing have always been his outlets, how he vents, how he gets rid of his frustrations. And Mike Ross is one hell of a frustration. But first, he needs to locate his bag.

 

Mike opens his eyes and sits up on the bed. He stretches and yawns and eventually climbs off the warm sheets. He opens the curtains and smiles. _Another beautiful day_. They have to drive back to New York today but he doesn’t know when exactly. Maybe they’ll go to the beach again.

He opens the window and walks to the nightstand to grab his phone. That’s when he spots a pair of jeans and a shirt that aren’t his. _They’re Harvey’s_.

He stands there, frozen in place and looks down at his naked body, swallowing hard. Harvey was here? Harvey’s still here? In the bathroom?

He picks up his boxers and jeans and t-shirt and puts them on in record time. _Shit_. He glances at the bathroom door, grabs his phone and leaves the room.

It’s 10:46 and the house looks quiet. All the bedroom doors are closed and, after a quick check, Mike finds the living room and kitchen empty. He’s dying for a coffee but it’ll have to wait. He pours himself a glass of water and downs it in one gulp before walking to the sliding doors and stepping outside. Maybe they won’t have time to go to the beach again so he decides to talk a walk while waiting for the house to wake up.

It’s warm already and it’s high tide, the sand feels good under his feet. The beach is deserted except for one person, a shirtless man, he can spot in the distance. The man is untying his shoes, probably to take a swim.

Mike walks down from the house towards the small crashing waves. As he approaches the water, he takes another look at the man who still hasn’t entered the water. He’s tentatively dipping his feet, his head bowed down towards them. He runs a hand through his hair and that’s when Mike recognizes him. He hasn’t known him for long but he would recognize the gesture anywhere. _Harvey_. The shirtless man is Harvey.

For a moment, Mike wonders if he should walk up to him or run back to the house and pretend he didn’t witness Super Harvey trying to overcome his fear of water. Given his reaction yesterday when the subject was broached, Mike’s pretty sure Harvey would die on the spot if he knew someone had seen him dipping his feet in the water like a scared kid going to the beach for the first time. So he decides to go back inside and let Harvey do his little experiment, but just as he’s about to turn around and go, Harvey lifts his head and looks at him.

Mike waves tentatively and Harvey takes a step backward, stepping out of the shallow water before waving back. It doesn’t look like an invitation but it doesn’t look like a dismissal either so Mike gathers his courage and starts walking towards him.

Harvey’s wearing tracksuit pants he’s rolled up to his knees. His t-shirt is hanging from his pocket and as Mike approaches he’s able to distinguish beads of sweat dripping from his collarbones to the hem of his pants. Harvey isn’t ripped but his chest is toned and his muscles well-defined. And tanned. _And yummy_ , Mike thinks, swallowing thickly.

“How’s the water?”, he asks with a knowing smile when he finally reaches Harvey.

“Cold.”, Harvey replies with a small knowing smile of his own.

“Sleep well?”

“Not really.”, Harvey snorts. “I slept next to a roaring engine. Nice pajamas by the way.”, he smirks.

“I, uh…”, Mike blushes. It makes sense now, why Harvey’s clothes were in his room. “Sorry about the snoring.”, he apologizes, deliberately ignoring the reference to his sleeping naked.

“It’s okay. You do speak a lot too.”, Harvey chuckles.

“Yeah, Rachel says I speak in my sleep, I’m so sorry…”, Mike runs a hand through his, very messy he realizes, hair. He must look like crap.

“Again, it’s okay, you warned me yesterday.”, Harvey smiles and looks away.

Mike exhales sharply and takes a couple of steps towards the water. A small wave crashes on his toes and he shivers. It is cold.

“Jesus, it’s freezing!”, he turns around and smiles at Harvey.

Harvey smiles back but doesn’t move, his eyes quickly going from Mike’s face to his feet, his smile quickly turning into a worried look.

“Okay.”, Mike steps out of the water. “Are you even afraid to dip your feet in the water?”, he asks and quickly adds. “I’m not judging, I have my own fears and you’ve… well, you’ve witnessed me in a very embarrassing situation, I just-“

“Which one are you talking about?”, Harvey relaxes a bit and smirks. “The other day at my apartment or in bed last night?”

“You’re mean.”, Mike frowns but he can’t suppress a smile.

“I know.”, Harvey replies. “As for my fear of water, yes, I’m scared to step in the water; whatever its level.”, he explains but nevertheless walks back to the water.

“How do you even shower?”, Mike asks, genuinely curious.

“I don’t like it but I have to do it, so I try to not stand under the water for too long.”, Harvey replies.

“Okay, let’s try something.”, Mike says with a wink and he moves to sit down, his eyes never leaving Harvey, waiting for a reaction.

“What are you doing?!”, Harvey exclaims when a small waves crashes on them, soaking Mike’s jeans.

“I have another pair.”, Mike pats the sand. “Come on. Sit down.”

Harvey hesitates for a moment, not sure what Mike’s trying to do here. Sitting in the water is way scarier than dipping his feet. But he appreciates Mike’s effort to help and the fact that Mike hasn’t even tried to mock his fear. He puts his t-shirt back on and slowly takes a seat on the sand next to Mike.

“Phew, it’s fucking cold!”, Harvey almost jumps back up when his ass touches the ground and water. “What now?”, he asks, looking up from the water to make sure Mike’s paying attention.

“We wait. Until you get accustomed to the water, until you realize there’s no danger.”, Mike nods and turns to look ahead.

Harvey watches him wrap his arms around his knees and close his eyes. He looks peaceful, relaxed and Harvey’s a little jealous because he’s currently trying hard to breathe, resisting the urge to look down at the water coming and going under him (and freezing his ass and feet), trying hard to ignore the crashing sound echoing around him. He knows he won’t drown from sitting here, rationally he knows there’s no danger. But knowing it is not enough, he’s still shaking, he’s still very much scared.

“Stop staring at me.”, Mike says, his eyes still closed. “Look at the sea.”

Harvey raises an eyebrow, wondering how Mike knew he was looking at him and does what he’s told.

It’s beautiful. A little blinding but beautiful. He tries to keep his eyes looking far in the distance so that he doesn’t focus on the small waves tickling his toes. The immensity is scary, he remembers what he felt like when he was 11 and his father-

“What happened?”, Mike pulls him out of his thoughts and asks, as if he could read his mind.

“It’s a boring story.”, Harvey replies dismissively.

“I’m bored already so go ahead.”, Mike smiles.

“Are you saying I’m boring?”, Harvey raises an eyebrow.

“Oh come on! Tell me. It’ll help me understand.”

“Okay, I’ll tell you.”, Harvey nods. “And then you tell me what happened at my apartment. I’ll help me understand.”, he smiles softly.

Mike seems to really think about it, to seriously consider not hearing Harvey’s story so they don’t have to talk about what happened last Tuesday.

“Okay…”, he sighs after a moment.

“So… Like Donna told you all yesterday, me and my brother were about 11, we were on vacation at my grandparents’ in Florida.”, he begins to explain, finding it hard to have to tell a story while looking at his interlocutor in the eye the whole time. It’s so much more dramatic to look away, especially if you’re reminiscing about bad memories. It’s more dramatic but it’s also natural, people look away when they talk. But since they’re sitting side by side, he has to keep his eyes on Mike if he hopes to be understood. “They had a swimming pool, a big one and it was our first time visiting them since they had gotten the house. We had never been outside of New York and our parents had never taught us how to swim.”, he explains and Mike’s eyes narrow a bit. “So we were having lunch one day and my dad said we should learn how to swim, that it was getting embarrassing.”, he chuckles. “You’d not believe all the things my dad finds to be embarrassing… Anyway.”, he sighs. “He told us he was going to teach us. Turns out he just pushed us into the water and asked, no, _ordered_ us to move, to swim.”, he swallows thickly. “I… he took us by surprise. Paul managed to stay afloat, he didn’t panic. I completely lost it.”, he looks away and takes a deep breath before turning back to Mike. “He, my father, he was yelling at us, at me, telling us it wasn’t that hard, that all we had to do was move our arms and legs like he was showing us. I couldn’t hear him and I couldn’t move anyway. I guess I passed out, probably from the lack of oxygen because I couldn’t keep my head above the water.”, he purses his lips. “My mother saw us and Paul told me that she screamed at my dad and then jumped in the water to help us get out. Needless to say she never let him try to teach us how to swim again.”, he laughs bitterly.

“Is he in the army or something?”, Mike gapes. “Because that’s… pretty rough teaching.”

“He was a cop.”, Harvey replies. “Never won a medal, never did anything special and yet he keeps telling me I’m hopeless.”, he snorts. “Anyway, that was my sad story, time to hear yours.”, he wiggles his eyebrows.

“Hey, that’s not funny.”, Mike gives him a pointed look.

“Of course it’s not, but that doesn’t mean we can’t joke about it.”, Harvey smirks, realizing he wasn’t so casual about it when Donna brought it up yesterday. So okay, he’s a hypocrite, but he already knew that. “You know what? Not even Donna knows the whole story, and she’s my best friend, so by telling you my worst and most embarrassing memory, I’ve earned the right to joke about your panic attack. Plus, I was there with you so you’re kind of obligated to explain to me why you crashed our date.”, he grins.

Mike blushes at the word and looks down at his feet. What else can he say? Harvey just said it, he had a panic attack. During their _date_.

“I don’t know what to tell you.”, he looks up.

“How about you tell me what scared you, what made you panic.”, Harvey offers with a kind smile. “Was it me? Did I do something?”

Mike purses his lips and looks away. He’s never met anyone with so many facial expressions, so many emotions. Never met anyone who can convey so much with just a smile and for a second, he lets his mind wander, coming to the conclusion that Harvey probably can also do just the opposite and kill someone with only a look.

“I had the best time, really.”, he nods to emphasize his words. “When we arrived at your place, it was pitch dark and I couldn’t see anything. I didn’t know where I was and… I couldn’t see you either and…”, he swallows again and clears his throat, hoping to get rid of the lump forming in it. “It’s going to sound like I was scared of you but I really wasn’t. It’s just… I realized that if you spoke to me, if you asked me something, I wouldn’t be able to see it, I wouldn’t be able to reply and I don’t know exactly what went on up there…”, he pokes at his temple. “… but suddenly I couldn’t breathe, my legs wouldn’t support me anymore. I guess that’s what panic attacks do to you, I’d never had one.”

“I understand.”, Harvey simply says and he turns to look at the sea.

Mike is starting to get cold, his jeans are soaked, but Harvey hasn’t looked at his feet once in the last 15 minutes, hasn’t so much as acknowledged the water around him so Mike decides to keep his complaints to himself for now.

His phone vibrates in his pocket.

“Shit!”, he exclaims, hoping the water hasn’t reached his pocket, while he takes out his phone.

It’s a text from Trevor.

“ _Are you awake? I’m at the office and there was a letter on the doormat, we’re getting evicted. Please text me as soon as you get my message, I don’t know what to do!_ ”

“Shit.”, he says again.

“Something wrong?”, Harvey asks but Mike doesn’t see him and therefore doesn’t reply so Harvey gives him a sign, like Mike’s taught him.

“Sorry.”, Mike says, looking up from his phone. “That’s my friend Trevor, he says we’re getting evicted from our office space.”

“Oh.”, Harvey says and makes a face, though he has absolutely no idea which offices he’s referring to.

“ _I’m in The Hamptons with Rachel and her girlfriend’s friends. They’re all lawyers, I’ll ask them. Could you scan the letter and email it to me?_ ”, he types and sends.

“We’ve founded an association called Hope.”, he looks up and explains. “It helps deaf people find a job, an apartment, all that stuff… we provide translators, computers, we help them with their paperwork. We’ve been renting this office space in the Bronx for 4 years and apparently, they want us out…”, he sighs.

“Unless the lease has expired or you haven’t paid the rent, they can’t put you out.”, Harvey says. “And even if that’s the case, there’s room for negotiation.”

“I’ve asked him to send me the letter.”, Mike licks his lips. “Could you-“

“Yes of course.”, Harvey cuts him. “Let’s go back inside, I’m freezing.”, he says, getting up.

 

 

“Wake up, princess.”, Rachel hears.

She’s been half awake for a moment now, but she couldn’t bring herself to open her eyes.

When she does, she sees Donna standing next to the bed with a cup of coffee.

“What time is it?”, she asks and yawns loudly.

“Almost noon.”, Donna replies and sits on the edge of the bed. “Here.”, she hands her the cup she’s holding.

“Oh thank you so much.”, Rachel smiles, grabbing it with both hands. “Breakfast in bed, are you competing for girlfriend of the year?”

“Oh that?”, Donna huffs. “It wouldn’t be fair to the other competitors.”

“That’s true.”, Rachel giggles and she leans in for a kiss. “When are we driving back to New York?”

“I have a depo to prepare so I was thinking that we could leave whenever we’re ready.”, Donna replies.

“Okay.”, Rachel takes a sip of her coffee. “Is everybody up?”

“Yeah, they’re having breakfast on the terrace. Couldn’t find Mike or Harvey, though.”, Donna replies, getting up from the bed and walking to her suitcase where she starts folding her clothes.

“Have you checked Mike’s room?”, Rachel asks, sitting up properly.

“Nope, but Neal did and they weren’t there.”, Donna replies. “You should get dressed, you’re distracting me.”, she smiles when she turns around.

Rachel blushes and pulls the covers up before downing the rest of her coffee in one long gulp.

“Go shower.”, she says, picking up her panties. “I’ll go look for Mike.”

“Sure.”, Donna smiles. She knew Rachel would be worried if she told her she hadn’t seen them.

Rachel quickly jumps into the first clothes she puts her hands on and leaves the room. She can hear voices coming from the terrace and she heaves a long sigh of relief when she spots Mike and Harvey around the breakfast table.

“Give it to me.”, Harvey orders and Mike complies, handing him his phone.

“Come on Harvey, I’m a real estate lawyer!”, Lucy exclaims, extending her arm. “This is my area of expertise!”

“I’m an expert in everything.”, Harvey deadpans, working his fingers on the screen to zoom in on the scanned letter.

“You also specialize in Mike, apparently.”, Lucy mocks, because she knows Mike’s not looking at her.

Harvey looks up from the phone and gives her a pointed look.

“Touché.”, Lucy smirks. “Hey!”, she greets when she sees Rachel.

“Hey!”, the others say in unison.

“Morning guys.”, Rachel waves timidly. “What is going on?”, she asks when her eyes meet Mike’s.

“We’re getting evicted.”, Mike purses his lips.

“What?!”, Rachel chokes. “From our apartment?”

“No, no, no.”, Mike shakes his head. “The association, from our offices. Trevor sent me the letter of eviction.”

“And I’m handling it.”, Harvey adds without looking up. “You’re a rookie and I’m by far the best lawyer in the country so sit down, grab a cup of coffee and relax.”

“God, you’re insufferable.”, Rachel mumbles, rolling her eyes.

Mike gives her a quizzical look because he hasn’t caught Harvey’s words but Rachel simply holds up a hand and rolls her eyes again.

“What happened to your jeans?”, she asks, pointing at his drenched pants.

“He peed his pants.”, Neal jokes. “Harvey Specter does that to people.”

“What?”, Mike asks when everybody starts laughing.

“Guys, you’re really not funny.”, Harvey sighs.

“Neal said you peed in your pants because of Harvey.”, Rachel replies and snorts.

“We sat by the water.”, Mike explains with a pointed look.

“Ignore them, Mike…”, Harvey sighs again but Mike doesn’t see it. “Okay, it’s pretty simple.”, he says, looking up to catch Mike’s attention. “Your landlord basically says he agreed to rent you this space for a small price because you’re a non-profit organization but apparently he needs his space back to rent it to a company that can pay the normal price.”

“Uh, okay… Is there something we can do?”, Mike asks with a worried look.

“Yep. Hire a small-town lawyer, preferably a deaf lawyer, and have him argue that people rely on your association and that you can’t afford to rent another space.”, Harvey replies and hands him his phone.

“No, I can help you.”, Rachel waves her hand. “I know what you do with Hope and I’m familiar with your culture-“

“Yeah, but you’re too pretty.”, Harvey cuts her. “The judge needs to feel sorry for them, and you certainly won’t elicit any sympathy.”

“Excuse me?”, Rachel jerks up. “Who do you think you are? I’ve known Mike all my life and I helped them build the association!”, she exclaims. “I’m the perfect candidate for their defense.”

Just when she was starting to like him, she thinks, putting her hands on her hips.

“Mike.”, she turns to him. “Do you really want some ‘small-town lawyer’ taking up your case?”

Mike looks around the table and swallows uncomfortably. Harvey’s right, Rachel is smart and she knows exactly what they do at Hope, but they need a strategy, they need to win this. And if that means playing the pity card, he’ll do it, even though the idea makes his skin crawls. Rachel looks pissed and she’ll never forgive him if he chooses to go with Harvey’s plan, of all people. Everybody around the table is holding their breath, a small smile on their lips. They’re enjoying themselves way too much.

“I think…”, Mike starts to say. “I think Harvey’s right-“

“What?!”, Rachel gapes.

“Of course I am.”, Harvey smirks at her.

“Okay, you know what? Fine.”, Rachel holds up a hand. She’s not going to start a fight in front of them. “Do what Harvey tells you to do, I’m sure he knows what’s best for you.”, she sneers.

“It’s not about him.”, Harvey objects. “It’s about the office space.”

“Rachel, look-“

“It’s okay, Mike.”, Rachel tries to smile when all she wants to do is strangle that smug bastard. “Let me know if you need help finding a lawyer.”

“What’s going on?”, Donna asks when she joins them on the terrace.

“Harvey just closed Mike.”, Stephen laughs.

“What the hell does that even mean?”, Donna makes a confused face.

“I imparted some of my wisdom on Mike and he listened to me.”, Harvey smiles and Rachel rolls her eyes.

Mike bites his lips and tries to catch Rachel attention but she’s clearly avoiding him.

“Well, I’m leaving in 30 minutes so if some of you need a ride back to New York, you better get ready.”, Donna announces, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

“Oh, okay.”, Mike puts his own cup down on the table and heads back inside.

“What’s up with his pants?”, Donna asks with a frown.

“He peed his pants.”, Neal replies.

“Oh my god, what happened?”, Donna covers her mouth with a hand.

“Neal…”, Harvey sighs dramatically.

 

Mike takes off his t-shirt and damp jeans and takes a quick shower. He makes sure to dress in the bathroom to avoid yet another embarrassing moment and packs his bag.

He feels bad for Rachel, she’s taken care of all the legal stuff for the association since its creation and he knows how much it means to her, how much she wants to be there for Mike. She probably thinks she’s failing him now and seeing how she doesn’t seem to like Harvey, she’s undoubtedly angry with Mike for siding with his idea. She’s always had a hard time letting people do things for Mike, she’s always tried to do them instead, she doesn’t trust people’s intentions towards Mike. And Mike’s grateful for her attention, for her constant protection, she’s helped him out of more situations he can remember and he owes her so much it makes his head spin if he thinks about it too much. But this time Mike’s sure Harvey’s right. He’s read all these articles, he’s spent time with Harvey and the man is never wrong, he wins all his cases, or rather he settles them even before they get the chance to be tried, and he always seems so confident. The way he told Mike what to do, like it was the simplest case he’d ever seen, a total no-brainer, looking so cool and confident… that’s what Mike needed to see. He’s sure Rachel would do a great job, she’d bust her ass for the association, she’d take a bullet for Mike anyway, but this isn’t personal, this isn’t about Mike as Harvey rightfully pointed it out.

He jumps when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

“Ready?”, Rachel asks him, her face expressionless.

“Uh yeah.”, he replies and zips his back closed.

When he turns back around, she’s already left the room.

With a sigh, he grabs his bag and heads for the entryway where Donna and Rachel are hugging their friends goodbye.

“Where’s Harvey?”, he reads on Donna’s lips.

“He’s showering.”, Stephen replies, pointing at the corridor.

“Oh well, I’ll see him tomorrow at work.”, she smiles.

“Bye, Mike.”, Stephen smiles and pulls him into a hug. “See you soon!”

“Yeah.”, Mike smiles.

“Bye Mikey.”, Neal hugs him. “Thanks for coming.”

“No, thank you for inviting me, I had a great time.”, Mike has just enough time to reply before Nick hugs him.

“Next time we’re staying for a whole week.”, Nick says with a wink.

“Bye, Mike.”, Lucy smiles. “I’m glad you’re part of our group now.”, she mouths and Mike knows she’s not really speaking because people often do that with him, they think it doesn’t matter if they use their voice or not since Mike can’t hear them but it does. People articulate less precisely when they’re not using their voice.

Mike smiles at her, he’s surprised when she doesn’t open her arms or even holds out her hand. She must not be a touchy-feely person.

“Let’s go.”, Donna says with a sad smile. “Tell Harvey it’s not polite to go hide when people are leaving.”, she smirks. “Thanks for everything.”

“Bye guys, drive safe!”, Nick calls from the porch as they’re walking to Donna’s car.

 

Harvey watches them from his bedroom window. He watches Mike turn around with a beaming smile and wave at the front door and he purses his lips. He’s usually not this shy, not this easily disconcerted and yet, he couldn’t bring himself to ask Mike Ross for another date. He’d want that. And not just because their first date didn’t end where his dates always do: in his bed. He likes Mike, his personality, his smile, the way he talks, that he’s full of surprises. So yeah, he’d love another date but he didn’t dare ask and he’s not really tried to score points with Rachel who seems to be running his life so he’s pretty sure it wouldn’t work anyway.

He watches as the car disappears behind the gates and straightens up. He should go too.

 

Mike sits in the back of the car and, again, sleeps for most of the ride. Every time he opens his eyes, he finds Rachel and Donna in deep conversation or dancing to the music blasting in the car. He can feel it vibrate on the car floor but it doesn’t prevent him from going in and out of sleep. He’s a little disappointed that Harvey wasn’t there to wave them goodbye, though he would have had no idea what to tell him. “ _See you soon_ ”? “ _I know I crashed our first date but I’ve been dreaming about your lips since last Tuesday and I’d love another chance_ ”? “ _Should I let you know how our case goes?_ ”? No, he wouldn’t have known what to say and would have embarrassed himself, so it’s probably better that their last words were exchanged on the terrace with his, _their_ , friends.

When Donna drops them off in front of their building 4 and a half hour later, she steps out of the car, hugs them both and places a quick kiss on Rachel’s lips.

Rachel and Mike ride the elevator to their apartment in silence and Rachel makes a beeline for her room after toeing off her shoes in the entryway. Mike goes to the kitchen where he pours himself a glass of water and checks the fridge because he’s already thinking about dinner. There are vegetables and ham. He’ll cook them some pasta and vegetables.

He carries his glass to Rachel’s bedroom and knocks on the door. The only way for her to let him know that it’s okay to enter is to open the door for him so if the door doesn’t open in the next 10 seconds, he’ll know she doesn’t want to see him.

“Come in.”, the door opens and Rachel says with an eyeroll before going back to her computer.

Mike walks to the bed and puts his glass on the nightstand. She’s on Facebook and Mike can see there’s a chat window open.

“I think I’ve found a lawyer for you.”, she turns around and says.

“Oh really?”, Mike raises an eyebrow and joins her at her desk.

“There was this guy in my class at Columbia, I think his sister’s deaf or something.”, she explains, looking up. “I’ve found him on Facebook.”, she points at the screen and Mike begins to read as she types.

 **Scott Everdale:** Of course I remember you, Rachel! How are you?

 **Rachel Zee:** Good, I’m an associate at Rand, Calder and Zane. You? Still in NYC?

 **Scott Everdale:** Your father’s firm ;) Yep, I’m still in New York, I started my own firm last year and it’s going pretty well.

 **Rachel Zee:** Good for you! :D Look, my best friend and his colleagues are being evicted from their office space and I need a lawyer who can take their case.

 **Scott Everdale:** Why me?

 **Rachel Zee:** They’re running an association for deaf people and someone suggested they should be represented by someone who knows their culture.

 **Scott Everdale:** I seem to remember that you’re pretty familiar with it.

 **Rachel Zee:** I am… but that person said I wouldn’t draw sympathy from the jury, my firm’s too big and (I quote) I’m “too pretty”.

 **Scott Everdale:** I have to admit that person’s right, you are pretty. I’ll take the case.

 **Rachel Zane:** Really?? Thank you so much! Could we meet soon? Tomorrow night? My place?

 **Scott Everdale:** Sure, send me the address. 8?

 **Rachel Zee:** Perfect, I’ll gather all the papers and see you for dinner at 8. Thank you again!

 **Scott Everdale:** No prob, it’ll be nice to see you again.

“He’s a great guy.”, Rachel turns around and says. “Very compassionate, very competent if I remember correctly.”

“Thank you.”, Mike gives her a small smile. “I’m sorry I upset you by going with Harvey’s plan.”

“You didn’t upset me, I…”, Rachel sighs. “I know he’s right. I’m mad at him, not you.”

“He was trying to help.”, Mike replies.

“No, he was showing off and being a dick.”, Rachel huffs. “I know you think he’s not an asshole but I really have a hard time believing it. I can’t believe he’s Donna’s best friend.”, she shakes her head. “She’s nothing like him…”

Mike doesn’t try to convince her of Harvey’s good intentions or to explain to her that he’s seen another side of him because she’s still mad right now and he doesn’t want to talk about Harvey anyway. He doesn’t want to even think about him, but that’s another story…


	10. What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another long chapter leading to chapter 11 where everything should unfold.  
> I hope you like it. Let me know, I love hearing from you <3

Harvey shakes his client’s hand and promises to get back to him soon before opening the car door and asking Ray to drive him back to the office.

It’s barely 2 in the afternoon on Monday and Harvey’s already tired and annoyed. His client, Omar Ben Khalif, is a young and smart owner of a middle-east oil company Exxon is trying to buy. He doesn’t want that and hired Harvey to prevent a hostile takeover from happening. Harvey’s not sure he can help him but he’ll give it his best shot like he always does. Takeovers are his area of expertise. He always says he masters every area of corporate law but the truth is that he really is the master of takeovers. He’s usually on the other side, though, and has built his reputation on helping companies merge and make good profit. This case is going to be a tough one but he’s not one to back down from a challenge. Especially when he needs to keep his mind from wandering. From thinking about Mike Ross.

He’s added him on Facebook and Mike has yet to accept or decline. He’s not sure why he did this or what he expects from the gesture, maybe Mike will decline anyway. Harvey doesn’t post much on there, mostly Youtube links to songs he likes or discovers (and that wouldn’t be very interesting to a deaf guy) or articles on LGBT issues. While checking his profile this morning, he noticed that he was down to 13 friends and as he searched through his contact list, he realized Alex had “unfriended” him. Maybe it’s for the best and it totally makes sense, but it still made him sad.

“Mr. Specter.”, Ethan raises a finger when Harvey approaches his cubicle. “A couple of messages for you.”, he gets up, a stack of post-its in his hand. “First of all your father called, he thinks you’re ignoring him because you don’t answer your cell.”, he begins to enumerate, following Harvey in his office. “I told him you were in a meeting but he didn’t sound convinced. He asks if you’re free to have lunch with him and your brother tomorrow.”, he pauses, waiting for a reaction.

Harvey rolls his eyes and urges him to carry on with a wave of his hand.

“Miss Paulsen needs you to drop by her office as soon as you can.”, Ethan continues. “Your 4 o’clock meeting got canceled, I rescheduled it for tomorrow a 4. It shouldn’t take long and I blocked your lunch break so you can go out with your family. I can free it again if you choose not to go.”, he looks up from his paper. That’s why it works with him, Harvey thinks, Ethan just _knows_.

“Is that all?”, Harvey asks, leaning back in his chair.

“Yes.”, Ethan nods, placing his notes on Harvey’s desk. “Coffee?”

“No thank you, I just had one.”, Harvey replies. “What you could do, if you don’t mind, is call my father and tell him I can’t meet them. Tell him I’ll call him back with a new date.”

“Of course.”, Ethan nods again and turns on his heel. “Miss Paulsen said it was urgent.”, he turns around and says before walking back to his cubicle.

Harvey fires up his laptop and checks his email. Donna can surely wait, otherwise she’d have been there, cooling her heels in the corridor when he arrived.

After what he judges is long enough for him to prove to Ethan that nobody’s business is “urgent” to him, Harvey comes out of his office and walks to Donna’s.

“Amy.”, he nods politely when he passes her assistant’s desk.

“Mr. Specter.”, she replies, blushing.

“Didn’t Ethan tell you it was urgent?”, Donna shoots him a look when he enters her office. “I saw you come back from your lunch 20 minutes ago.”

“If it really were urgent, you’d have called my cell.”, Harvey rolls his eyes and takes a seat on the cream couch. “What is it?”

“What’s going on with Mike?”, Donna asks.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, since you’re friends on Facebook…”, she smirks.

“How do you know I asked him?”, Harvey raises an eyebrow.

“I didn’t know it was you who asked him, that’s even better!”, she grins. “I just saw it.”, she turns to her screen. “Reggie Nald is now friends with Mike J. Ross.”, she reads out loud.

 _He accepted_.

“So? I asked him. Is that your urgent matter? That I became friends with Mike on Facebook?”, he sighs.

“No just that.”, Donna smiles. “I wanna know what happened in the Hamptons.”

“Nothing.”, Harvey replies, getting back up. “Now, I have work to do, so if you don’t mind, I’m going to go back to my office now.”

“What do you mean “nothing”?”, Donna also gets up. “You guys spent an awful lot of time together and you even slept in the same bed.”, she folds her arms across her chest.

“We talked, that’s all.”, Harvey replies dismissively. “And I didn’t sleep shit because of Mike’s snoring and talking in his sleep. I’m sorry I can’t give you your daily dose of gossip but that’s all there is to say.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

“Seriously, Donna, I’m going back to my office.”, Harvey sighs.

“You totally want to.”, Donna smirks but she lets him go.

 

 

After a quick lunch with Trevor and Jenny near Jenny’s workplace, Mike spends the afternoon searching the association’s archives for rent receipts, their lease and every other paper they might need for their meeting with the lawyer tonight. He then spends an hour with Jeff, one of the association’s regulars, looking at job ads online.

At 6:45, he leaves the building with a couple of heavy files in his backpack and takes the subway back to the apartment.

He’s got about an hour ride and one change so he picks a book in his inner library, closes his eyes and starts reading, He knows the trip by heart and only needs to count the stops to know when he’s supposed to get off the train. That way he can keep his eyes closed and let his mind create the visuals for his book. He’s read it a hundred times but he never gets bored of The Catcher In The Rye. He used to identify a lot with Holden Caulfield as a young teenager, when he was still very much angry at what had happened to him, when he still found everything unfair, when he was fighting against everything and everybody. There’s this part, in chapter 25 that he’s always particularly liked:

“ _I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes. That way I wouldn't have to have any goddamn stupid useless conversations with anybody. If anybody wanted to tell me something, they'd have to write it on a piece of paper and shove it over to me. They'd get bored as hell doing that after a while, and then I'd be through with having conversations for the rest of my life. Everybody'd think I was just a poor deaf-mute bastard and they'd leave me alone._ ”

Now he knows it’s stupid, but back then, it helped him cope with his handicap. He was deaf, not mute, and Holden Caulfield found that to be practical so Mike thought that too. He escaped a lot of discussions and most of Grammy’s lectures by pretending he couldn’t understand, by unsettling his interlocutors (teachers, people he didn’t like, adults…).

He smiles as he rereads the passage in his head and then it’s already time to open his eyes and step out of the wagon.

 

When he finally unlocks the front door, he finds Rachel and a man laughing and drinking a glass of wine in the living room.

“Hey.”, Mike nods politely. “Am I late?”

“No, no.”, Rachel replies. “Scott’s early.”

Mike drops his heavy backpack in the entryway and walks up to them.

“I’m Scott, nice to meet you.”, the young man smiles and holds out his hand.

“Mike.”, Mike replies, wincing a little at the strong handshake. “Nice to meet you and thank you for taking up our case.”

“No problem.”, Scott nods with a smile. “Rachel told me you could speak but wow, it’s amazing!”, he exclaims, wide-eyed.

Mike blushes and looks down. Though he appreciates the compliment, he never knows what to answer when people say things like that, “thank you” sounds a bit too condescending to him.

“My sister was born deaf and she doesn’t speak at all.”, Scott shakes his head.

“I wasn’t born deaf.”, Mike humbly explains. “That’s why. Shall we start now or do you want to talk about the case after dinner?”

“Dinner’s ready.”, Rachel says. “Maybe you can start explaining the situation to Scott while we eat and we’ll go over the papers afterwards?”

“Sure.”, Mike replies and he heads for the kitchen to wash his hands. “Yum.”, he grins when he spots the home-made pizza in the oven.

 

 

Harvey doesn’t head home after work. after a nice and animated weekend spent with his friends, he doesn’t feel like being home alone. He goes to his favorite bar, settles in his favorite spot (in the corner of the room, where he can scan the room without breaking his neck) and orders a double scotch. It’s Monday so the bar isn’t as busy as it can be on Thursdays or Fridays, but he nonetheless spots a couple of potential preys. He doesn’t want to be alone tonight and he’s not going to call Donna because she’s going to want to talk about Mike and it’s precisely what he’s trying to avoid. He knows it’s not a big deal since Mike has 537 friends on Facebook but still, he was happily surprised when Donna told him he had accepted his friends request…

When the fuck did he start caring about Facebook?, he thinks as a beautiful blond woman in her late 30s pulls him out of his thoughts.

“Good evening.”, she smiles. “Need a refill?”, she asks, pointing at his empty glass.

“Are you a waitress?”, Harvey raises an eyebrow.

He wasn’t planning on bringing a man home anyway. There’s only one man he wants right now, and God that’s frustrating because he’s not usually the clingy type, so if he hopes to enjoy this, it needs to be with a woman.

“No.”, she smirks. “But I’d like to buy you a drink.”

“Then by all means.”, Harvey smiles, pushing his empty glass towards her. “I’m Harvey.”

“Ella.”, she delicately grabs the glass and leaves with a wink.

 

 

Dinner’s delicious and Scott is a great guy. Having grown up with a deaf sister means he knows exactly how to interact with Mike, he knows that he has to speak to his face. Because you have to do that even when you sign. And when Mike doesn’t understand something, he can sign to translate so they spend the whole time alternating between speaking and signing. It's simple and natural, like talking with Rachel. Scott is also pretty funny and very nice. Mike’s glad Rachel found him, he still hasn’t shown him the files he’s put together but he already knows Scott can win this. Because he seems very competent and because he instantly liked the concept of Hope and asked a lot of questions. Mike knows he’ll do his best to help them out of this unfortunate situation.

“So.”, Mike taps on the thick stack of papers after they’ve moved from the dining table to the living room. “This is everything related to the rent.”, he hands him the first folder. “And this is an excerpt from our accountability for the past 2 years.”, he hands him the other.

“Okay…”, Scott murmurs and he starts browsing through the pages.

Rachel gets up to fix a coffee pot and put away the dishes. She likes Scott. She didn’t remember much of him when his name came up as she tried to think about a lawyer fitting Harvey’s description, except for the fact that he had a deaf sister. They weren’t really friends back then, Scott was the lonely type, but she remembers one afternoon they spent revising at her parents’ house. That’s when she learned about his sister… and his sexual orientation.

She glances at them discreetly and smiles to herself: he’d be perfect for Mike. Far more perfect than that smug bastard. Scott’s a very nice guy with a good situation, good looks and to top it all, he’s familiar with Mike’s disability and everything that goes with it. For the first time since she’s known Mike, she’s confident that she may have find Mike’s Mr. Right.

“I don’t know who does your accounting but it’s very good work.”, Scott nods at Mike.

“It’s me.”, Mike smiles. “I’m the treasurer.”

“Is that your job?”

“No, I just help around when I'm not working. I’m a photographer.”, Mike replies as Rachel sets a tray with mugs and a pot on the coffee table.

“Nice.”, Scott smiles. “It makes sense.”, he nods and goes back to the files.

Rachel pours three cups of coffee and takes a seat in the armchair across from the couch. _Yes, they would definitely make a cute couple_ , she thinks, suppressing a smile. Now she has to find a way to figure out if Scott’s single (easy) and to convince Mike to give him a chance (not that easy). She’s seen the way Mike looks at Harvey, he’s got a crush. She’s never seen Mike with a crush before but she knows the universal signs: long stares, stupid smile when talking about that person… It’s a dead end, his panic attack obviously was a sign that it wasn’t meant to be and explaining this to Mike will definitely be the hardest part.

“Okay, your friend was right.”, Scott looks up. “Your landlord can take his office space back if he has a good reason for that.”, he confirms. “Is your friend a lawyer?”

“Yeah…”, Rachel sighs. “I guess you’ve heard of Harvey Specter?”

“You’re friends with that guy?”, Scott gapes.

“Well, no, he’s my girlfriend’s best friend.”, Rachel replies, making a disgusted face, before Mike has the time to answer that yes, he’s friends with Harvey Specter.

“I was up against him in court once.”, Scott mirrors her face. “He’s the most arrogant person I’ve ever seen!”

“I know, right?”, Rachel exclaims. “And it’s not some kind of “work persona”, he’s always like that!”

“No, that’s not true, Rachel.”, Mike steps in because he can’t let her say that.

“Oh come on.”, she rolls her eyes. “You saw how he talked to me yesterday, right?”

“He was just messing around…”, Mike replies with a sigh.

“Anyway.”, Rachel says with hand held up which Mike clearly interprets as “whatever” and begins to recount the events to Scott.

Mike opens his mouth to express his dislike towards the rude dismissal but chooses not to speak. And to not listen to it because he knows he won’t like it. He hasn’t seen most of what Harvey told Rachel yesterday on the terrace but he’s sure Harvey was just messing with her. He doesn’t strike Mike as rude or mean. Sure, he’s cocky and can be an asshole but he’s spent a night with him, he’s had drinks and dinner with him, he’s laughed with him, he’s kissed him, he’s felt his gentle hands on his body, he’s listened to his childhood memories… no, Harvey’s not an asshole.

“So, what do we do?”, he looks at Scott, pretty sure he’s interrupting but he doesn’t care.

“About what?”, Scott asks, his broad smile turning into a frown.

“This.”, Mike points at the file. “The eviction.”

“Oh yeah, sure.”, Scott scratches his head. “I’ll contact your landlord tomorrow, see how we can sort this out.”

“Okay.”, Mike nods. “How much is it going to cost?”, he asks, still ignoring Rachel.

“I don’t know yet.”, he replies. “How much are you able to spend on this? I’ll take whatever you can give, it’s not about the money, it’s about Hope.”

“I’ll need to see with the ‘board’ members.”, Mike airquotes. “I’ll get back to you tomorrow.”, he replies, hoping it sounds like a goodnight.

“Great.”, Scott smiles and downs the rest of his coffee. _He got it_. “I’m going to take these…”, he starts putting the papers together. “… and study them some more before I call your landlord. Thanks for dinner, Rachel.”, he smiles.

“My pleasure.”, Mike finally looks at Rachel and sees her smiling at him in response.

Scott slides the file in his briefcase and grabs his suit jacket.

They walk him to the door and Mike thanks him for his time before shutting the front door.

“What was that?”, Rachel snaps when he turns around.

“What was what?”, Mike feigns ignorance.

“That was rude, Mike!”

“Ruder than you shushing me earlier?”, Mike gives her a pointed look and heads for the kitchen.

“Wha-“, Rachel starts to say but she stops because Mike has turned his back to her.

God she hates when he does that, when he spits something angrily and walks away, killing all chances of having a conversation. _Just like a teenager_. What does he mean “shushing him” anyway?

She follows him to the kitchen where Mike’s already started washing the dishes and grabs his wrist to make him look up.

“Let go.”, Mike orders, looking from her hand on his wrist to his face.

“Not before you tell me what’s wrong and why you kicked Scott out.”, Rachel replies.

“We were done here, weren’t we?”, Mike replies innocently. “Now let go.”

“I did not shush you.”, she says, not letting go of his wrist.

“Yes you did!”, Mike drops the sponge and manages to untangle himself from Rachel’s hold. “You made that face when I said Harvey was just messing with you.”

“What face?”, Rachel huffs. “Why are you so quick to defend him? He’s a jerk, Mike! I don’t know what he told you or hell, what he did to you…”, she shakes her head and chuckles dryly. “… I mean, didn’t you hear what their friends said? He’s a player! He’s playing you!”

“You don’t know anything about him, Rachel!”, Mike spits.

“Oh, because you do?”, Rachel huffs again. “You two have one fucking date and you think you know him?”, she folds her arms across her chest. “You weren’t that confident when he showed up at the beach on Saturday, uh?”

“I was embarrassed by what had happened!”, Mike yells. “And I still am, if you wanna know the truth! I didn’t expect him to show up and I hadn’t see him since that… night.”, he swallows hard. “That’s why I was unsettled. It has nothing to do with him!”

“He’s not good for you.”, Rachel softens a bit when she sees how stressed the whole panic attack thing still makes him. “Look at Scott, he’s a good man, you need someone like him, he’s nice, he’d be good for you.”

“What?”, Mike gapes. “He’s my lawyer, Rachel! And I don’t know anything about him!”

“But you could.”, Rachel smiles tentatively. “Don’t you like him?”

Mike shakes his head and looks away. _Of course_. He should have been surprised when, instead of being pissed at him for siding with Harvey, the first thing she did was trying to find a lawyer. He should have seen it coming when she invited him over although she said she didn’t know him much.

“I don’t know him.”, Mike finally replies because, yeah, Scott looks like a really great guy and he had a nice time with him tonight, but he’s certainly not going to tell her now he knows what her intentions are.

“Look, I’m sorry if I upset you earlier, it wasn’t my intention.”, Rachel says.

“I know.”, Mike nods and he returns to the sink and grabs the sponge.

“Mike…”, she says, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I want what’s best for you. You know I do.”

Mike bites his lip and clears his throat before putting the sponge down again.

“Who I date or don’t date is my business, though.”, he says with a serious look. “And as it happens, I’m not dating anyone, never have and probably never will, so don’t worry about me.”, he sighs and returns to his task.

Rachel knows a dismissal when she sees one so she lets go of him and walks to the door.

“You should really consider giving Harvey the benefit of the doubt, though.”, he turns to look at her. “If not for him, do it for Donna, he’s her best friend.”

Rachel purses her lips and rolls her eyes before leaving the room. He’s right. Harvey’s Donna’s closest friend and he’s always going to be around, they work together, they’ve known each other for what seems like a long time, they’re very _very_ close. It doesn’t change the fact that he’s not good for Mike. She doesn’t trust him or his intentions towards her best friend. She could tolerate him, she thinks, for Donna’s sake, but she won’t let him break Mike’s heart.

 

 

“Ok, tell me what’s wrong.”, Ella pants, climbing off Harvey’s lap right after coming and he’s glad she did because as good as it feels, he knows he’s not going to climax tonight.

“What do you mean?”, Harvey clears his throat and watches her settle next to him on the bed.

She’s beautiful. She’s got amazing hair, one of the best boobs Harvey’s ever seen and she just rode him perfectly. Still, Harvey’s mind not completely at it and she seems to have picked it up.

“There’s something bothering you.”, she replies with a content sigh. “I noticed it when I saw you sulking like a little boy at the bar.”, she smiles. _Beautiful teeth_.

“I wasn’t sulking.”, Harvey shoots her a look.

“Whatever.”, Ella chuckles. “So, tell me. What’s her name?”

“Mike.”, Harvey replies, surprised by how easily Mike’s name slipped from his lips.

“Ouch.”, Ella puts a hand on her chest.

Harvey shakes his head with a smile and she smiles back.

“Is he your boyfriend? Ex-boyfriend?”, she asks, moving to lie on her front and propping herself on her elbows. _Great ass_.

“No…”, Harvey sighs and rubs his face. “He’s uh… a friend.”

“But you want him to be more, is that what’s bothering you?”

“Are you a shrink or something?”, Harvey raises an eyebrow.

“I’m a doctor, but not a shrink.”, she replies. “Anybody could have come to that conclusion. It was clear that your mind wasn’t there.”

“Sorry.”, Harvey looks down at his now soft cock. Why is he talking about Mike to a total stranger he just fucked? “I shouldn’t-“

“Nah, it’s fine.”, Ella smiles. “Let’s get dressed and talk about it over a glass of wine.”

“What?”, Harvey frowns. “You mean about… _Mike_?”

“Yeah, the night’s still young and you seem like a nice man in desperate need of a confidant.”, she says, leaving the bed. “And I’m a good listener.”

“A nice man?”, Harvey huffs. “Never heard that one before.”, he chuckles.

 

They end up talking and drinking until the sun rises and Ella leaves in a hurry after a quick look at the time, her last words to Harvey being “ _Just ask him out, you’ll never know how he feels if you don’t ask._ ”. Harvey knows she’s right. He’s told her the full story, how they met, how their date went, he’s talked about Mike (“ _You’re gushing, it’s so cute!_ ”), his deafness, the weekend at The Hamptons (“ _You really can’t swim?!_ ”) and the special bond Mike shares with Rachel (“ _If he doesn’t give it a second chance because of Rachel, then he’s not worth the trouble._ ”). She’s right, he should just ask him. What are the risks? If Mike declines then he’ll know where he stands and he’ll move on. If he agrees to a second date well… let’s not go there yet, he still hasn’t figured out _how_ to even ask him.

Talking with Ella made him feel better, lighter and, as he goes to bed for what’s left of his night, he realizes she left without giving him a number or an email.

 

 

The next morning, Harvey’s a little late, well maybe not just a little since Ethan’s already at his desk when he arrives.

“Morning, Mr. Specter.”, he smiles his ever-professional smile and gets up. “Walter Gillis called, he wants to meet with you as soon as possible.”, he says, following Harvey in his office. “Miss Paulsen also wants to see you-“

“Harvey.”, Jessica interrupts them.

“I’ll uh… Here are your messages.”, Ethan stutters, awkwardly dropping the slips on Harvey’s desk and walking out of the room after a courteous nod at the female name partner.

“Morning, Jessica.”, Harvey smiles. “How was Paris?”

“ _Magnifique_.”, Jessica smirks. “Walter Gillis called me this morning.”

“Yeah, I know, he called me too.”, he says. “I was about to call him back.”

“His son got arrested last night. Drug possession.”, she sighs. “He wants you to represent him.”

“Ah no.”, Harvey holds up a hand and huffs. “I’m not representing a drug addict, we do corporate law here.”

“Gillis wants you and no one else.”, Jessica insists. “He’s taking his business somewhere else if we, if _you_ , don’t do this.”

“God…”, Harvey heaves out a frustrated sigh. “Where’s the kid?”

“The Bronx.”, she replies, walking to the door. “Ethan is calling your driver with the address. Sort this out.”

“I’ll do what I can.”, Harvey rolls his eyes.

He hates to be told what to do, he doesn’t particularly like Gillis and he hates The Bronx. What a great way to start the day…

“Mr. Specter.”, Ethan pops his head around the door. “Ray will be downstairs in 5 minutes.”

“Yeah, I know. Thank you.”, Harvey puts his jacket back on and pats his pockets to make sure he’s got his phone and wallet before walking out.

“Harvey!”, Donna steps out of her office as he’s about to reach the elevators.

“I really have to go.”, Harvey turns around and shoots her an annoyed look.

“Where? Ethan said you didn’t have any meeting this morning?”, she asks.

“It just came up, what did you need?”

“It’s about Mike.”, Donna smiles mischievously.

“Again…”, Harvey sighs and rolls his eyes. “What about Mike?”

“I spoke to Rachel this morning and she told me they found a lawyer for their eviction problem.”, she explains, following him to the elevators. “And she wants to set him up with Mike.”

“And?”, Harvey feigns carelessness. The truth is he had hoped Mike would have kept him updated on the case. And that Rachel wouldn’t poke her nose in his business. Yes, _his_ business. He’ll deal with that thought later.

“Well, I didn’t tell her about your…. um, feelings for Mike, but I-“

“What feelings are you talking about, exactly?”, Harvey cuts her. “You should really stop reading all these chick lit books.”, he rolls his eyes again. “I’m glad they found a lawyer, tell Rachel I wish them the best.”, he says, stepping in the elevator. “Now I have to go get a drug addict out of jail.”, he purses his lips and pushes the button to the lobby.

Donna crosses her arms and narrows her eyes at him when he waves with a smile as the doors slide shut.

When the hell is he going to talk to her about Mike? She’s tried everything, she’s thrown him countless lines and he hasn’t picked a single one. She’s not blind and she knows him: there’s something going on with Mike. Why Harvey doesn’t want to tell her when he usually easily confides in her is a mystery. When Rachel called her this morning to ask her out and told her about their evening with the lawyer, she was ecstatic, she kept repeating she’d finally found a nice man for Mike. Donna listened and refrained from offering her opinion on the subject. She knows Rachel doesn’t like Harvey and Rachel is very close to Mike, so maybe she knows better? Maybe Mike has no intention to see Harvey again? In any case, she felt the need to warn Harvey that someone was trying to stake claim to his territory. Now she’s hoping what she just told him will make him react.

 

 

After a 2-hour wait, Harvey’s finally allowed 10 minutes with Marcus Gillis. 10 minutes spent trying to collect as many pieces of information he can from a very tired and clearly dying for a hit young man. Marcus Gillis is Mike’s age, just a little under 30, but he looks way older. He was caught by the police exiting from a bar the previous night, his pockets full of various drug prescriptions. There’s not much Harvey will be able to do for him, because it’s not the kid’s first arrest, but he’ll try to get him minimal sentencing by persuading him to go to rehab. That’s all he can do, now he needs to tell one of his biggest clients that his son is undoubtedly going to spend some time in prison…

When he steps out of the police station, he spots two young men signing in front of the porch of a nearby building. What’s up with all the deaf people these days? A week ago, he hadn’t met a single one of them and now it seems like they’re everywhere. Maybe he just didn’t see them, maybe it’s because a certain someone has been haunting his thoughts and dreams for a week. No, it’s obviously just a big coincidence.

When he passes by them, his eyes are drawn to the plate on the wall next to the door where the two men are standing.

 

> **Hope**
> 
> _Together with deaf people, creating a better future._
> 
> Member of the AADB
> 
> Open Mon-Fri / 9am-6pm
> 
> Intercom #6

So that’s where Mike’s association’s office space is… Maybe he could pay them a little visit, he’s somewhat involved in their eviction case after all. Or maybe he shouldn’t. He cannot speak sign language and he knows people like Mike who can read lips and actually talk are very rare. He’s about to call Ray when a young woman comes out of the building.

“Here.”, she says with a smile, holding the door for him, she probably thinks he’s coming in.

“Uh…”, Harvey opens his mouth but finds himself unable to make a decision. Should he get in?

“Are you the lawyer?”, she asks. “For Hope, the uh, the association.”

“I’m a lawyer, but how did you know?”, Harvey frowns.

“My boyfriends runs the association, I just had lunch with him and he told me a lawyer was supposed to show up this afternoon.”, she explains, still holding the door. “Thanks a lot for helping them.”, she smiles.

“Actually, I’m not _that_ lawyer.”, Harvey replies. “I’m a friend of Mike Ross’.”

“Oh, okay.”, she nods and her smile broadens. “He’s up there, come on.”, she motions for him to follow her. “I’m Jenny.”, she says, extending her arm.

“Harvey.”, he smiles and shakes her hand.

He follows her and climbs the two flights of stairs leading to a double glass door on which another HOPE plate is hanging.

Jenny grabs the handle and opens the door for Harvey.

A dark-haired man turns to the door and shoots her a quizzical look. He must be her boyfriend. Harvey watches Jenny grab a piece of paper and write something down before handing it to the man, who looks up and smiles at Harvey.

Harvey waves tentatively and the man waves back before walking to him.

“Trevor.”, he says and Harvey sees how much work it is for him to just pronounce his name.

“Harvey.”, Harvey smiles.

Trevor nods and points at an open door.

“Mike.”, he says.

“Thank you.”, Harvey articulates. “And thank you, Jenny.”, he turns to her.

“No problem.”, she smiles and grabs Trevor’s hand.

Harvey takes a deep breath and walks to the door Trevor indicated. He didn’t expect to see so many people in there because the whole floor is completely silent but he remembers that they’re all deaf.

There are about a dozen people of all ages and genders sitting in circle and signing. They’re visibly asking questions to Mike, who replies to them animatedly. He’s seen Mike sign before, but not like that. He’s amazed by how many facial expressions accompany the complicated dance of his hands and fingers. Little sounds also escape his lips from time to time and Harvey suspects they’re not intentional as nobody can hear them.

One woman suddenly spots Harvey and she waves at Mike who automatically stops signing and follows her gaze. When he sees Harvey, his cheeks instantly turn a deep shade of red and he swallows before getting up.

“Hey.”, he says, stepping out of the circle and walking to the door.

“Hey.”, Harvey smiles. “I’m sorry to interrupt. I was in the neighborhood and I noticed the plate on the porch, I thought I’d stop by to-“

“No that’s fine.”, Mike cuts him with a shy smile, his cheeks still burning. “We’re almost done here.”, he gestures at the room behind him. “If you have time, I can offer you a coffee and give you a tour?”

“Sure.”, Harvey nods. “Take your time.”

“I just need 5 minutes.”, Mike replies and walks away, hoping Harvey will get the message and wait _outside_. He doesn’t want him to see him sign.

Fortunately, Harvey does get the message and when Mike’s back in his seat, Harvey’s nowhere to be seen.

He quickly wraps up the meeting and tells his small audience that he has to go, that he won’t have lunch with them. He finds Harvey in the library, sitting comfortably on the worn-out couch, in his dress-shirt and vest (jacket flung over the armrest), reading a magazine.

“Sorry.”, Mike says when Harvey looks up. “Hungry? It’s almost two and I haven’t had anything to eat since yesterday night. If you haven’t had lunch yet, we could grab something?”

“Yeah, why not.”, Harvey smiles and stores the magazine away on top of the pile of various publications.

“There’s a nice little family restaurant around the corner.”, Mike says as they walk out of the room to what Harvey guesses is his desk. “I have another meeting to conduct at 3.”, he adds, retrieving a set of keys and his wallet from a locked drawer.

“I have a meeting at 4 so I can’t stay too long either.”, Harvey replies.

 

“So, Donna told me you found a lawyer.”, Harvey says, dipping his last fry in ketchup, praying that he doesn’t stain his suit, he’s managed to keep it spotless so far.

He doesn’t usually eat fries, not because he doesn’t like them, but because he tries really hard to stay in shape. And by _really hard_ he means that he wasn’t born like that. He was a very chubby kid. He always says that he can gain weight by simply looking at junk food. But he’s hungry and steak/burger and fries seem to be Mike’s favorite food, so… He makes a mental note to spend more time at the gym this weekend.

“Yes, we met with him yesterday, he came over to our apartment for dinner.”, Mike replies and Harvey doesn’t like what learning that the guy has seen Mike’s apartment does to his stomach. “He’s nice, he’s supposed to come visit the association this afternoon.”

“Great.”, Harvey nods. “Do you trust him?”

“Uh.”, Mike frowns a little. “Yeah, I guess.”

“It’s important that you trust him.”, Harvey grabs his glass of water. “You’re putting the fate of your hard work in his hands.”

“I do.”, Mike nods and he stuffs a couple of fries in his mouth before wiping his greasy hand with a napkin and grabbing his buzzing phone. It’s a text from Trevor.

“ _The lawyer’s here. Coming back soon?_ ”

“Oh, he’s arrived.”, Mike smiles apologetically. “I gotta go. Would you like to meet him? Tell me what you think of him?”

 _No thanks, I don’t want to know what he looks like, ugh_ , Harvey thinks.

“No, I don’t want to interfere and I won’t be able to help myself if I get any more involved.”, Harvey laughs. “I trust him if you trust him.”

Mike smiles softly and insists on paying for their lunch and Harvey insists on walking him back to his building while waiting for Ray.

“Are you free tonight?”, Harvey blurts at the very last second, right before Mike turns around to open the door. _Now or fucking never_.

“What?”, Mike asks. Oh he’s read that perfectly, he just doesn’t know what else to say so he might as well put his disability to good use.

“Are you free tonight?”, Harvey repeats, bracing himself.

“I… I think so. Yeah.”, Mike stammers. “I mean, yeah, I’m…free, definitely free.”, he blushes.

“This time I’m paying.”, Harvey smirks. “I’ll pick you up at your place. How about 8?”

“8’s fine, okay.”, Mike swallows and nods. "I'll text you the address."

“See you tonight, then.”, Harvey smiles as a black town car pulls over right behind him.

“See you.”, Mike whispers, watching Harvey climb in the shiny tinted-window chauffeured car.

Harvey asked him out. On another date. _He asked him out_. Even after what happened.

Unable to suppress what’s probably the biggest grin he’s ever worn, Mike closes the building door behind him and giggles silently.


	11. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is a verrryyy long chapter. First, I thought I'd post it in two parts but then I got inspired and couldn't stop typing and I know you were all waiting for their second date and you've been amazing in the reviews for the previous chapter so I decided to finish it and then post the whole thing.  
> Let me know what you think!  
> Thanks a lot for reading!

Harvey comes back to work from lunch with a barely hidden smile on his face. He tries, really hard, but he can’t hide it. He’s feeling giddy and jumpy.

Ethan is waiting for him when he steps out of the elevators.

“Mr. Specter, your-“

“My 4 o’clock is here?”, Harvey offers with a smile.

“Yes.”, Ethan frowns at the unusual and (dare he think) genuine happiness emanating from his boss. “Is everything alright?”, he asks, almost running to catch up with him.

“Yes, why?”, Harvey stops and turns around.

“Nothing, you seem, uh…”, the young man narrows his eyes at him. “Nevermind.”, he clears his throat. “Mr. Sudiski’s in conference room C, should I go get him or will you meet with him there?”

“It’s fine, I’ll meet him there in 5 minutes.”, Harvey replies, entering his office. “Oh, and Ethan?”, he asks and Ethan is once again shocked by the gentleness in his boss’ voice. “Could you look up for sign language classes, please? Evening classes, in the neighborhood.”

“For you?”, Ethan asks with a dumbfounded look.

“Does it matter?”, Harvey cocks his head and shoots him a look. _Now that’s his boss_.

“No, no, of course, it doesn’t.”, Ethan stutters. “I’m going to get you and Mr. Sudiski some coffee and then I’ll look it up.”

“Thank you.”, Harvey nods and he grabs the files he needs for his meeting.

Maybe he’ll completely suck at it (he’s never been good at learning languages) and eventually give up, but right now, he wants to at least give it a try. Because seeing Mike in his “bubble” and realizing what it truly means for someone to be able to communicate almost perfectly with hearing people while being deaf… well, he probably will never tell anyone because it would tarnish his “cocky bastard” reputation, but he was impressed. He _is_ impressed. And the last person who impressed Harvey is now President of the United States. When he saw Jenny write something down for her boyfriend, when he realized he couldn’t even greet Trevor with something other than a freaking wave, he felt dumb. Completely and utterly dumb. Maybe even a little rude. He wants to be able to at least introduce himself, to greet, to thank, to sign Mike’s name… So yeah, he won’t tell Ethan and he certainly won’t tell Donna (God, she’d freak out and he’d never hear the end of it. Or worse, she’d want to go with him), but he is going to give sign language a try.

 

 

The meeting with Scott goes well. For once, Mike doesn’t have to translate everything for Trevor like he does every time a hearing person comes to the association (plumber, IT guy, volunteer). Scott explains to them that he called Mr. Rodriguez, their landlord, who has no intention of negotiating. So he’s filed a motion and he’s taking it to the judge tomorrow. He tells them it will probably go to court but he reassures them, he’s confident that they can win this. And even if they don’t get to keep this office space, Scott has investigated a little on Mr. Rodriguez and it turns out he owns a lot of those and Scott will demand that he rents them another one under the same conditions.

He stays for a cup of coffee and Mike pretends he has work to do and retreats to his desk. He has no idea what Rachel has told Scott, what her plan is but he’s sure she’s already set the wheels in motion. And he doesn’t want to give Scott the wrong idea. Even less now Harvey’s asked him out. _He’s having dinner with Harvey tonight_.

The first thing he’d normally do would be to text Rachel to break the news. But after what she told Scott after dinner and to Mike right afterwards, he knows she won’t share his excitement. _At all_. So he decides to keep it to himself and look for something to occupy himself for the rest of the afternoon.

 

“Ethan, could you please call Louis for me? I need his expertise on something.”, Harvey asks when he passes by his assistant’s desk on his way to his office after his meeting.

“Sure.”, Ethan nods. “Oh and I’ve found two ASL evening classes in the area.”, he smiles and follows him. “I had to call my sister, she’s dating this deaf guy and she’s trying to learn sign language.”

Harvey sighs dramatically at the totally useless piece of information and takes a seat at his desk.

“I know you don’t like it when I share private things with you-“

“It’s not that I don’t _like_ it, Ethan.”, Harvey cuts him and rolls his eyes. “I just don’t care, that’s all.”

“ _Anyway_.”, Ethan crosses his arms defiantly. “That deaf guy that my sister is dating is the president of an association for deaf people and he’s the one who provided me with the info you needed.”, he cocks his head and drops a piece of paper on Harvey’s desk.

“Which association?”, Harvey asks, looking up from his computer.

“I thought you didn’t care?”, his assistant smirks.

“You’re right, I don’t.”, Harvey purses his lips.

“Hope.”, Ethan says. “The association is called Hope.”

Harvey’s heart does a 180 in his chest.

“I’ve heard of it.”, Harvey nods. “Is your sister’s name Jenny?”

“Yes!”, Ethan’s face lights up. “How do you know that?”

“I met her earlier today.”, Harvey replies. “She was really helpful.”

“ _No shit!_ Where? How?”, Ethan takes a seat across from Harvey who raises a dumbfounded eyebrow.

“At Hope. I was visiting a friend there and she escorted me to his office.”, Harvey replies, his eyes fixed on the chair Ethan has just sat on, hoping he takes the hint. Okay, he’s met his sister, but that doesn’t give him the right to take up residence in Harvey’s office.

“So you’ve met Trevor?”, Ethan asks, _not getting the hint_.

“Yeah.”

“I still haven’t met him! How is he? Is he nice?”, the young man almost bounces on his chair with excitement.

“Yeah.”

“Oh come _on_ , Mr. Specter!”, Ethan pleads. “Tell me more!”

“First, get up from _my_ chair.”, Harvey sighs. “Then go back to _your_ cubicle and log on to www.hopefordeaf.org. There’s a picture of Trevor on the home page.”

“Thanks!”, Ethan jumps on his feet and runs out of the office.

“Don’t forget to call Louis!”, Harvey calls and shakes his head with a small smile.

“Knock knock”, he hears and looks up.

“Hey.”, he smiles at Donna who walks up to his desk.

“I’ve just had the most boring court appointment ever…”, she yawns and cracks her neck before taking a seat in the chair Ethan left a minute ago.

“Which case?”, Harvey asks and he hears her toeing off her shoes.

“The one Jessica passed onto me, the class action against her ex-husband’s medical trial.”, Donna replies, leaning in her chair.

“Hey, did you come here to take a nap?”, Harvey shoots her a look.

“No, I just wanted to relax for a minute. I know that if I go in my office, Amy’s going to harass me with a hundred questions and I’m not ready for that yet.”, Donna straightens up and yawns again. “I’m going out with Rachel tonight. I’m taking her back to my place.”, she grins.

“Are you trying to tell me that you two still haven’t…”, he rubs his two index fingers together with a playful smile.

“No we haven’t.”, Donna replies and Harvey mentally fistbumps the air for managing to make her blush.

“Well, good luck.”, he wiggles his eyebrows. “I’m going out with Mike.”, he says like it’s no big deal, returning to his computer.

“What?!”, Donna gapes. “I knew it! Rachel owes me 50 bucks.”

“You bet on me and Mike?”

“Yep. I bet her 50 bucks you’d ask him out again.”, she grins. “She’s not going to be too happy about it.”, she makes a face.

“Good thing I don’t give a damn about what she thinks, then.”, Harvey quips.

“She’ll come around but right now…”, Donna looks away. “Let’s say she’s not really a fan of yours.”

“And I’m not a fan of pretty rich girls who think they know everything because their daddy got them a fancy job.”

“That’s exactly why she can’t stand you, Harvey.”, Donna rolls her eyes. “Why are you always such a jerk? I told you her dad had nothing to do with her getting the job…”, she sighs. “You’re jealous.”

“Jealous?”, Harvey huffs.

“Yes you are.”, Donna gives him a pointed look. “What made you ask Mike, anyway?”

“Ella.”, Harvey replies smugly. “The woman I took home yesterday night. She convinced me.”

“You’re disgusting.”, Donna grimaces. “You took someone home although you knew you wanted to see Mike again?”

“Hey, I didn’t orgasm so it doesn’t count.”, Harvey holds up a hand.

“Ewwww.”, Donna jerks up and puts her shoes back on. “I’d rather hear Amy’s annoying questions than put up with your sordid fuckboy stories.”

Harvey chuckles as he watches her run away.

 

Mike manages to busy himself with online Sudoku puzzles for about 2 hours before he gets bored (he’s really good at them) and he takes a cab to Manhattan around 6.

Once home, a half hour later, he takes a shower, shaves and searches his closet for an outfit. He should call Rachel, she always knows. But he doesn’t want to tell her, he’ll tell her when he comes back from his date. If it all goes well, he’s sure Rachel will be happy for him and maybe start reconsidering her opinion on Harvey. If it doesn’t go well… he’ll just pretend he was having dinner with Trevor. If he told her now, which he’s literally _dying_ to do, she’d warn him again, she’d probably get mad and he doesn’t need that. Not now. He’s already plenty freaked out, he doesn’t need a fight with Rachel. Hopefully she won’t be home before Harvey comes to pick him up, she’s rarely home before 8:30 anyway.

 

Rachel texts him just before 8 to let him know she’s going out with Donna and won’t be back until late. She says she hope he had a nice day and asks if he’s heard of Scott. She also lets him know there are leftovers from last night’s dinner in the fridge. Mike replies that yes, Scott was at Hope this afternoon, that he’ll tell her all about it tomorrow at breakfast. He doesn’t mention the leftovers and ends his message with a cheerful _“Say hi to Donna for me and have fun!!!”_. He feels a little bad for not telling her but it doesn’t last very long since the doorbell light goes off right when he hits the “send” button.

Mike takes a deep breath and takes his time to answer the door. That’s what you’re supposed to do, pretend you totally weren’t pacing your apartment, waiting for that person, pretend you were completely busy doing something really important.

“Hey.”, Mike smiles when he opens the door, causing a whiff of Harvey’s cologne to hit his nose. It instantly reminds of him of that night, exactly a week ago, and he tenses a bit.

“I know it’s going to sound stupid, but I’m curious.”, Harvey smiles back. “How did you know I just rang the bell?”

“Oh.”, Mike instantly relaxes, he hadn’t expected these to be Harvey’s first words. “Look.”, he smiles and motions for Harvey to come in as he steps outside. “Look right there.”, he points at the doorframe and pushes the doorbell button.

A light bulb lights up, flashing bright red rays across the room.

“Sweet.”, Harvey nods. “But what if you’re not in the hallway or over there?”, he motions towards the living room.

“There’s one in my bedroom and one in the bathroom.”, Mike explains with a smile.

Harvey nods, visibly impressed, as Mike comes back in and shuts the front door.

“I just need to get my shoes, make yourself at home.”, Mike says before walking away.

Harvey walks to the leaving room. It’s cozy and tastefully decorated. There are a couple of pictures on the wall and he guesses they’re Mike’s. There’s a bookshelf filled with books and DVDs separating the living room from the dining room and through a door left ajar, Harvey catches a glimpse of a small kitchen.

“Ready.”, Mike startles him and he turns around with a smile.

“Let’s go, then.”, he smiles back.

 

 

“You look gorgeous.”, Donna says when Rachel arrive at her table.

“Thank you.”, Rachel blushes. “I didn’t have time to go home and change…”

“I haven’t either.”, Donna smiles. “My associate messed up with a patent filing, I had to make an emergency call the bureau and they put me on hold for a whole half hour.”, she sighs. “Oh, remember my sister Jane?”, she asks, filling their glass with red wine. “Short brown hair?”

“Yes, I do. Very well.”, Rachel replies. “Thank you.”, she says and grabs her glass.

“Well, she just called me and guess what? She’s pregnant!”

“Oh that’s great! How far is she?”

“5 weeks.”, Donna smiles.

“So that’s why she stuck to water at your birthday party.”, Rachel grins. “You’re going to be an aunt!”

“I’m not really into kids.”, Donna makes a face and Rachel’s heart drops in her chest. “But hey, I’ll buy him or her designer clothes, it’s going to be fun!”, she laughs and raises her glass.

Rachel clinks her glass against hers and smiles, hoping it looks like a real and genuine smile. She wants to ask her what she means by “not into kids” but she has a feeling she won’t like the answer. Being a mom has always been her biggest dream and she had hoped that, by dating an older woman, she’d finally meet someone who’d as ready to be a parent as she is. She’ll have to talk to her eventually, because, even though she doesn’t want to fully admit it to herself right now, their relationship depends on that (not quite so little) piece of information.

“How’s Mike?”, Donna asks, bringing her glass to her lips.

“Oh, he’s doing fine.”, Rachel replies. “He texted me an hour ago, he’s met with their lawyer again today.”

“Did he mention what he was doing tonight?”, Donna asks tentatively.

“No, why?”, Rachel frowns.

“Nothing.”, Donna mentally facepalms for having broached the subject. _Well done, Donna._

“Yes, there’s something.”, Rachel puts her glass down. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have asked. What is it?”

“I’m not sure I should tell you. Maybe he didn’t want you to know, he’d have told you if he did…”

“Does it have something to do with Harvey?”, Rachel looks at her pointedly.

“Maybe….”, Donna sighs and looks down.

Rachel rolls her eyes and looks away. First of all, she’s pretty sure she’s lost 50 dollars because there’s no way Mike called him and second, she’s a little disappointed that Mike didn’t tell her. Of course, she gets why he wanted to keep it a secret, she’d have freaked out if he had told her but… he usually tells her everything.

“Okay, I know you don’t like Harvey.”, Donna places a hand on hers. “People usually don’t like him when they don’t know him, and I think he behaves like a dick on purpose, you know, he’s very guarded.”, she explains. “I’m not asking that you change your mind about him, but Mike knows him better than you do and I trust Harvey, I know him, he likes Mike.”

“Just like he did the thousand women and men he’s screwed?”, Rachel purses her lips.

“Look.”, Donna straightens up in her chair. “Mike is grown up man. He was there this weekend, he heard, well he… saw, read, _whatever_ , everything our friends said, he knows all of it. If he decides to give it a shot, it’s his business.”

“I know… I just…”, Rachel sighs. Mike would kill her if he knew what she’s about to tell her. “Mike’s never had a boyfriend before.”, she says.

“He _what_?!”, Donna almost spills her wine all over her plate.

“Don’t tell Harvey.”, Rachel pleads.

“I won’t.”, Donna shakes her head. “Of course I won’t… but, um…”, she clears her throat. “ _Never_?”

“Never.”, Rachel repeats. “That’s why I’m worried about him. I think… I mean, I don’t really like Harvey and I don’t think he’d be good for Mike but that’s not just about that. You know, Mike’s never had someone who was interested in him before, he’d fall for anybody.”

“How is that even possible?”, Donna asks, obviously still chocked by the revelation. “Mike’s a terrific guy and he’s really cute!”

“Yeah, but he’s also very shy and well, his handicap probably throws people off, you know?”

“I don’t get it.”, Donna shakes her head. “Seriously, I’ve seen people with less invasive handicaps who have far more trouble living a normal life.”

“Mike’s a fighter and he’s the smartest person I know, he could do anything he’d put his mind to.”, Rachel smiles and Donna can tell how proud she is of him.

“See? There’s no need to worry here.”, she says, taking another sip. “And again, I trust Harvey so trust me.” Rachel gives her a tentative smile and nods. “You’ll end up loving him anyway.”, she smiles. “Everybody does, even the people who hate him.”, she chuckles. “You’ll love him once you know him.”

 

In the car to the restaurant Harvey’s taking them, Mike explains to him what Scott is going to do, what he told them and Harvey tells him he would have done the same. Well, in substance, because his first reaction is, _of course_ , to tell Mike he had hoped Scott would have managed to convince his landlord to drop the eviction proceedings. He would have, he’s sure, one way or another. He could’ve taken up Mike’s case and he almost did but then he realized that he would never have won in court if ever he hadn’t managed to convince Mike’s landlord and the case had to be tried, he would never have won over a jury or a judge and he couldn’t risk that.

Harvey drives them to Greenwich Village and expertly throws his car keys at a valet in front of a swanky restaurant.

“Take care of her.”, he smiles at the man who nods politely.

“Hey Harvey.”, the receptionist smiles when they enter the restaurant.

He’s Harvey’s age, very put together with charming good looks. Probably another one of Harvey’s many conquests…

“Hey Gerald.”, Harvey replies. “This is Mike.”, he gestures towards Mike who didn’t see him say his name but who gets it when the man extends his hand. “I don’t have a reservation but I called Julie and she said you’d squeeze us in.”

“Yes, she told me.”, the man smiles. “Follow me.”, he says when he’s done shaking Mike’s hand.

The restaurant’s pretty busy but Mike guesses Harvey’s the kind of person who’d get a table anywhere as soon as he’d say his name.

“There.”, Gerald stops in front of a table. “I’ll send Julie over. Nice meeting you, Mike.”, he says but Mike doesn’t see it.

“Mike.”, Harvey brushes his arm.

“Sorry, did you say something?”, Mike blushes. _Fuck_. They’re not even seated at their table and he’s already embarrassed himself.

“I said ‘Nice meeting you’.”, Gerald repeats with a kind smile.

“Oh, sorry.”, Mike feels his cheeks redden even more. “Nice meeting you too.”, he smiles shyly. “Sorry…”, he mutters when Gerald is out of earshot.

“Don’t be.”, Harvey smiles and they both take a seat. “Gerald owns the restaurant. Julie, his wife, is the cook. She was my best friend in high school.”

“Okay.”, Mike nods, somewhat relieved.

“Harvey!”, a woman, wearing a chef jacket and black pants over an enormous baby bump, approaches their table. “Long time no see!”

“Hey.”, Harvey gets up and hugs her. “I know, I’ve been pretty busy. And you still haven’t popped.”, he pokes her in the bump.

“I can’t wait, this little thing’s getting heavy…”, she rolls her eyes. “Hey.”, she smiles at Mike. “I’m Julie.”

“Mike.”, Mike gets up and shakes her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Mike.”, she smiles again. “Have you eaten here before?”

“No.”, Mike shakes his head.

“Well, obviously I’m the cook, is there anything that you don’t eat?”, she asks.

“I eat everything.”, Mike quickly replies.

“Not like this big boy here…”, she smirks, her index finger pointing at Harvey. “He doesn’t eat, and I quote, _anything that comes from the sea_.”, she chuckles. “Says he’s allergic.”, she rolls her eyes.

“I am.”, Harvey protests.

“Sure.”, Julie shoots a knowing at Mike. “Anyway, I’ll try to drop by later but I can’t guarantee it, so enjoy yourself and let Gerald know if you need anything.”, she smiles.

“Thank you.”, Mike smiles back.

“Oh, and one more thing.”, she turns around. “It’s on the house.”

“No, no, no.”, Harvey says but she’s already too far away to hear him, or maybe she pretends that she can't hear him. “I haven’t paid a single meal here…”, he mutters and they both sit back down.

 

They have a really nice time, the food is delicious and the wine is excellent. Gerald stops by their table a couple of times to make sure they’re doing fine and have a little chat. Mike tells him about his deafness and Gerald says it’s impressive. Once again, Mike doesn’t know what to answer to that and Gerald says that they _have_ to come for dinner at their house some time, that he’d love to hear more about Mike’s association and his work as a photographer. Harvey thanks him and tells him to give him a call and set a date, that they’ll gladly come. Mike nods enthusiastically though he wonders if Gerald thinks they’re just friends.

He himself doesn’t know what to think, what to expect. He really, _really_ likes Harvey, he makes him laugh and he can talk about everything. They talk about politics (Obama’s Harvey’s favorite man in the whole world, he’s met him once, 15 years ago, during a lecture he gave at Harvard), religion (Harvey tells him his family’s Jewish but he doesn’t believe in God), sports (Harvey’s a boxer and a runner, he explains to Mike that he needs to watch his health because heart attacks run in the family, and to watch his weight because he’d be obese if he didn’t), money (Harvey tells him he comes from a middle-class family and still has a hard time spending money even though he makes a “shitload” of it) and family. Mike asks him about his parents and Harvey tells him his mother died 5 years ago, that she was his role model and that he still misses her a lot. He tells him his father is a complete tool who only cares about himself. Mike doesn’t press the subject when he sees how upset talking about his family makes him. He talks about himself, tells Harvey about the accident that killed his parents and left him deaf. He tells him about his Grammy and all the delicious things she used to cooked, about how he met Rachel and how she’s practically his only hearing friend.

Mike likes the look on Harvey’s face when he listens to his stories, the way his eyes narrow ever so slightly from time to time, how his mouth opens like he wants to cut him, ask him something but never does. He likes how his face lights up when he says something funny, how his eyes crinkle when he laughs, he bets he’d love his laugh.

Mike doesn’t know what to think, what to expect, but he’s having a very good time and even if he ends up on Harvey’s seemingly endless list of conquests, even if that’s all he gets from their second date, he’d like them to remain friends. He’d love that.

 

Julie steps out of the kitchen as they’re leaving the restaurant and they both thank her profusely for the delicious dinner. She tells Harvey’s she’ll call him to set a date (“ _Hopefully this one will be born by then_ ”) and to Mike that it was nice meeting him.

“I don’t know how she manages to cook with that huge belly.”, Harvey says as they’re stepping out and, realizing Mike didn’t hear him because he’s walking right behind him, he turns around. “I don’t know how she manages to cook with that huge belly.”, he repeats with a smile.

“I don’t either.”, Mike chuckles. “She’s really nice. They’re both really nice.”

“Another one of my high school friends owns a jazz bar two blocks away.”, Harvey says. “Obviously you don’t care about the music…”, he smiles. “… but he’s also known to make the best mojito in the city.”, he adds with a wink.

“Well, then…”, Mike grins. “Which way?”

“This way.”, Harvey extends his arm and places a hand on the small of Mike’s back.

That’s about all he can bring himself to do right now. That’s not all he _wants_ to do, but that’s all he dares to do. It’s all new territory for Harvey. He’s had his fair share of dates in the past, but he’s never been on a date with someone like Mike. And by _someone like Mike_ he basically means a deaf person who is about 10 years younger than him. He also means someone he feels very comfortable with, someone he instantly trusted (and God knows his trust isn’t something he gives easily) and someone he has a feeling he’d never get bored of. And that puts quite a bit of pressure on their date, he thinks. If he didn’t like Mike, if he wasn’t having such a good time, he’d take him home, fuck him and get a good post-coital sleep. Then he’d forget about him and move on with his life. That’s what he always does. He doesn’t usually offers his dates a drink after dinner. Or he does, but just as an excuse to bring them home with him. With Mike it’s different. He wants to get to know him, to talk to him, to make him laugh (he’s got the nicest –and loudest– laugh). That’s not all, he wants all of this but he also wants to _kiss_ him, to _hold_ him, he’d really love to pick up things where they left off a week ago, right before they stepped off the elevator in his apartment. All he needs now is a sign. A sign that Mike wants it too. This time, Harvey’s not going to take any initiative, it has to come from Mike. And so far, though he’s been having a blast, Harvey hasn’t seen anything that looks even remotely like a sign that Mike wants more than just a nice evening with him.

 

The jazz bar is a very small, almost hidden tavern in a rather dark alley, a stark contrast with the restaurant they just had dinner in. Harvey opens the door for Mike and they both have to bend their head to go through the door.

It’s only got a dozen tables as well as a old-fashioned zinc bar and a small stage at the very end of the room. There’s a band playing and Mike can feel the drums thumping through the old wooden floor under his feet.

The barman smiles broadly at them when he looks up from the drinks he’s pouring and Mike guesses he’s Harvey’s high school friend.

“Good evening, gentlemen.”, he reads on his lips and he smiles back.

The music must be pretty loud if the way the man articulates is any indication.

When they reach the bar, Harvey shares a weird handshake with the man, probably some high school thing, and they both laugh at something Mike hasn’t time to see.

“Mike.”, Harvey turns to him. “This is William, my oldest friend.”, he smiles.

“Nice to meet you, Mike.”, William shakes his hand. “And I’m only 2 years older than you.”, he looks at Harvey pointedly. “So, Mike? Who are _you_?”, he asks with a playful smile.

“Um, I-“, Mike begins to say until he feels a hand brushing the back of his neck.

“You’ll have to grab a drink with us if you want to know who he is.”, Harvey replies, squeezing Mike’s neck.

“Why so mysterious, Specter? It’s a busy night, I can’t take a break like that.”, William chuckles and shakes his head. “Seriously, though, what do you want to drink?”

“I’ll have your finest scotch.”, Harvey replies and he is about to answer for Mike but he stops right on time and turns to him with an expectant look.

“Harvey told me you made the best mojito in New York.”, Mike replies.

“He said that, uh?”, William raises an eyebrow. “Hold on, I’ve got to write this down in my calendar, my first Harvey Specter compliment.”, he says, pretending to type on his phone.

Harvey rolls his eyes but Mike doesn’t get the joke because he can’t see his face.

“So, scotch and mojito.”, William finally looks up and smiles. “Go grab a table, I’ll bring them to you in a minute.”

“Thank you.”, Harvey says and his moves his hand from Mike’s neck to the small of his back, guiding him towards a free table.

“What did William say when he took his phone out?”, Mike asks, sitting down.

“Oh.”, Harvey sighs with a smile. “A stupid thing he probably thought was funny. He said he was going to write this down in his calendar because I never pay him any compliment.”

Mike nods with a smile and takes a look around the room.

The bar’s clientele is very versatile. There are young couples sipping on wine and cocktails, older groups of men sharing beers, a group of young women visibly playing a drinking game with shots, and people listening to the band.

He jumps when Harvey gently pokes his nose with his index finger.

“Sorry.”, he jerks around with an apologetic smile.

“Okay.”, Harvey chuckles. “That was your last ‘sorry’ of the evening.”, he then takes a serious look. “Stop apologizing, okay?”

“Okay.”, Mike nods. “Wh-“, he starts to say but stops dead in his track when he spots _another_ Harvey approaching their table. _Paul_.

He doesn’t have time to warn Harvey about the upcoming assault.

“Hey baby brother!”, Paul says, wrapping his arms around Harvey’s neck from behind and kissing his cheek.

“Ewww!”, Harvey quickly wrestles out of his brother’s embrace and wipes his cheek with a disgusted face.

“So, I see you’re too busy to answer my calls but you’re definitely _not_ too busy for a date.”, Paul smirks and he shoots Mike a smile as he takes a seat at their table.

“Who told you you could sit down?”, Harvey rolls his eyes. “And what are you doing here anyway? You hate jazz music.”

“I was supposed to meet with some guys from my team but their wives didn’t let them go out.”, Paul replies. “I’m Paul, by the way.”, he smiles at Mike and offers his hand.

“Mike.”, Mike replies and he shakes his hand, suppressing a wince when Paul all but crushes his fingers.

“Nice to meet you, Mike.”, Paul says with another smile. “What are you guys having?”, he asks, leaning in his chair.

“Nothing. And you’re leaving.”, Harvey sighs.

“Oh come on!”, Paul protests. “Can’t a big brother have a drink with his little brother and his new boyfriend?”

“You’re 2 minutes older than me.”, Harvey replies with a pointed look. “That certainly doesn’t make you my big brother.”

“Yes it does.”, Paul nods. “And since you didn’t correct me, congratulations on your new boyfriend.”, he wiggles his eyebrows. “Nice catch, Mike, this one’s a keeper.”, he smiles at Mike who blushes.

Apparently, Paul can’t stop smiling.

“Just go, Paul.”, Harvey heaves a long sigh.

“One drink and I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone, okay?”, he offers. “ _Please_?”

Just at this moment, William arrives with their drinks.

“Hey Paul!”, he exclaims and they do the weird handshake. “Scotch?”, he asks, placing Harvey and Mike’s drinks on the table.

“Yes please!”, Paul replies and Harvey makes an apologetic face at Mike who smiles in response.

 

Of course, an hour later, Paul’s still sitting with them, telling Mike about his most dangerous mission, a story Harvey’s heard a hundred times. They’re drinking their second glass and Paul speaks really fast, gesturing a lot like he always does when he get excited (and he gets excited a lot). Harvey can’t help noticing that Mike’s having a hard time following. Paul hasn’t picked up that Mike’s deaf. Paul is a lot of thing: nice, caring, funny, easy-going, a pain in the ass… but there’s one thing he’s not, which is observant. And Mike hasn’t had the chance to say much (Paul speaks a lot) so Paul hasn’t heard his (cute) speech impediment. Harvey wants to say something, wants to ask Paul to slow down and to keep his face to Mike at all times, but he doesn’t think Mike would really appreciate.

“And then I finally get a clear view of the target in my scope.”, Paul pauses and pretends to be aiming at Mike, like he always does at this exact moment of the story and Harvey rolls his eyes discreetly. “I take a deep breath and then I fire. _Bang_!”, he exclaims, still holding his invisible assault rifle. “Shot him right in the head.”, he grins, placing it on the table.

“Wow.”, Mike smiles back. “Pretty intense.”

“Very.”, Paul nods. “You get this adrenaline rush when you’re called on a mission like this one and then when it’s over, it’s like coming down from a high.”, he explains, taking a sip of his glass. “You’re suddenly really tired and-“

“Can we talk about something other than _you_?”, Harvey cuts him. 

“He hates when the conversation doesn’t revolve around him.”, Paul leans forward and tells Mike.

“I heard you.”, Harvey says and downs the rest of his glass.

“Let’s talk about you, then, Mike!”, Paul offers but Mike doesn’t see it, he was looking at Harvey.

“Paul wants to talk about you.”, Harvey tells Mike with a smile and Paul frowns a little at the repetition.

“Oh, well…”, Mike chuckles. “It’s a lot less entertaining, I’m afraid. I’m just a photographer…”

Paul narrows his eyes at Mike for a millisecond during which Harvey’s sure he’s trying to figure out if Mike’s _that_ drunk already or if he always speaks like that.

“I got an idea.”, he holds up a finger. “Let’s play truth or dare, it’s a great way to learn things about each other.”

“Weren’t you supposed to have one drink and go?”, Harvey asks.

“It’s going to be fun, Harv’, don’t be such a buzzkill.”, Paul rolls his eyes and turns around to wave at William. “We’re going to need drinks.”, he turns back around and smiles. “Okay, I’ll go first. Truth. Ask me anything.”

“I already know everything about you.”, Harvey says.

“Mike doesn’t. Come on, Mike, ask me anything!”, he smiles.

“Uh… I don’t know…”, Mike replies, playing with the straw in his empty glass. “Let me think…”, he looks away.

“Come on!”, Paul drums his fingers on the wooden table.

William arrives with their drinks and quickly walks away when he’s called at another table.

“It’s a stupid game.”, Harvey shakes his head and brings his glass to his lips.

“I don’t know what to ask you.”, Mike smiles apologetically.

“Have you never played truth or dare before?”, Paul asks. “You’re supposed to ask me embarrassing questions like ‘Have you ever been in a porn movie?’ or something.”, he says, shooting a knowing look at Harvey who purses his lips menacingly.

“Now, that’s a weird question.”, Mike giggles.

“You know, I know someone who has.”, Paul nods, suppressing a grin. “Twice.”

Harvey bites the inside of his cheek and gives Paul’s leg a strong kick.

“Ouch.”, Paul frowns. “What’s wrong, Harvey, why’d you kick me?”

“I swear to God, Paul, if you say one more word I’ll break your jaw.”, Harvey replies and Mike wonders what this is all about.

“Alright.”, Paul chuckles, both hands held up. “So, Mike, what’s your question? Keep the porn movie one for Harvey.”

“What’s going on?”, Mike asks with a confused look.

“Nothing.”, Harvey replies with the fakest smile Mike’s ever seen. There’s definitely something going on.

“Okay.”, Mike nods.

“You know what? Let’s start with you, Mike.”, Paul empties his glass. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth… I guess.”, Mike replies, bracing himself.

“I’ll start with an easy one.”, Paul smiles. “First kiss? And not just a peck on the lips, first _real_ kiss.”

 _Easy one my ass_. He should lie, there’s no way he’s telling them he had his first real kiss with Harvey a week ago. But he doesn’t want to lie… He’ll have to tell Harvey at some point, he doesn’t want Harvey to realize it on his own while they’re… No, he’ll have to tell him but he can’t possibly do it now, that would be too damn embarrassing.

“Oh come on, it’s an easy one!”, Paul snorts.

Mike can feel Harvey’s eyes on him and he swallows thickly.

“It’s a stupid game.”, Harvey says, placing a hand on Mike’s knee. “Your glass is empty so why don’t you go play truth or dare with the college girls over there?”, he points at a table where a bunch of (drunk) women are giggling.

“God, you’re no fun at all.”, Paul sighs. “You’re paying.”, he says, getting up.

“Of course I am, I always pay anyway.”, Harvey replies.

“Nice meeting you, Mike.”

“Yeah, me too.”, Mike smiles and he lets out a discreet relieved sigh.

“Bye baby brother!”, he says and does a salute before walking away.

“Sorry about… him.”, Harvey buries his face in his hands. “He gave me freaking headache.”, he mutters before realizing Mike cannot see him. “He gave me a headache.”, he says, looking up.

“He’s nice.”, Mike smile. “You may look exactly alike but you’re two very different people.”

“Does it mean I’m not nice?”, Harvey smirks.

“No, no, no, absolutely not, that’s not what I meant.”, Mike quickly replies. “ _At all_. These were two separate observations. I mean-“

“I’m just teasing you.”, Harvey chuckles. “He didn’t even notice that you were deaf. That shows how good you are.”, he smiles.

“Or he didn’t know how to ask.”, Mike blushes. “A lot of people notice that there’s something wrong with my speech, though Rachel says it’s barely noticeable, but they don’t know how to ask what’s wrong with me.”, he laughs. “One time, though, an old couple I was helping with their bags at the grocery store asked me if I was retarded.”

Harvey shakes his head and he doesn’t seem to find it funny at all, he looks offended.

“How can you even ask someone that?”, he purses his lips. “Someone who’s helping you! I mean…”

“Hey, it’s okay.”, Mike smiles, placing a hand on Harvey’s. “I get that all the time, your brother probably thought I was drunk or something.”

“Speaking of which, would you like another drink?”

No, he doesn’t want another drink. He wants to leave the bar and get some air. He wants Harvey to kiss him on the sidewalk like he did a week ago.

“No, thank you, I’m good.”, Mike replies.

“Shall we go, then?”

“Yep. I just need to use the bathroom.”

“Sure, I’ll go pay.”

“Thank you.”, Mike smiles and gets up.

Harvey watches him walk to the bathroom and he takes out his phone to check the time. It’s 11:34 and there’s a text from Donna.

“ _Heading to my place with Rachel, you should drive Mike home and hope he asks you to come up for a drink. Have fun! ;)”_

 

He done paying and chatting with William by the time Mike comes back from the bathroom.

“So, Mike.”, William asks with a very serious look. “How was my mojito?”

“Harvey was right. The best I’ve ever had.”, Mike replies with a grin. And he means it.

“So you’ll come back?”

“Definitely.”, Mike replies.

“Good. Goodnight guys.”, William waves at them.

“’Night Will.”, Harvey waves back and they leave the still pretty busy jazz bar.

 

“Thank you for the drinks.”, Mike says as they’re walking back to the main street.

“You’re very welcome.”, Harvey turns his head around and smiles. “Do you, uh, want me to drive you home?”, he asks.

“I have a photoshoot at 9 tomorrow morning, I, uh…”, Mike replies while fumbling in his pocket for his phone.

It’s not that late but they’ve already had dinner and been to a bar, what else could they do?

“Okay then.”, Harvey says. “This way.”

They retrace their steps back to the restaurant so that Harvey can get his car back. Mike wonders if he should invite Harvey for a drink once he’s dropped him home. No, he’s not wondering if he should do it, he’s wondering _how_ he should do it. He doesn’t even know if he has anything to drink apart from Rachel’s pricey bottles of wine. Though she wouldn’t mind if he took one, she certainly would mind that he took one for _Harvey_.

 

Barely 20 minutes later, Harvey’s pulling up in front of Mike’s building. Mike’s made up his mind, now he just need to find the guts to ask.

“Here you go.”, Harvey says and Mike’s pretty sure he’s expecting something, there’s a indescribable thing in his eyes, even in the dark he can see it. It gives Mike the strength he needed.

“Do you want to come up for a drink?”, he blurts out the question he’s been rehearsing in his head.

“Sure.”, Harvey replies with a smile and Mike’s heart flutters in his chest. “Let me find a parking spot, go ahead, I’ll be right up.”

“Okay.”, Mike swallows and quickly steps out of the car.

 

He’s about to enter the apartment when he realizes that Rachel could come home any minute. He hadn’t even thought about it. _God, it was a bad idea_ … but he can’t go back on his words, and he doesn’t want to, it’s too late anyway, Harvey’s on his way…

He turns on the lights and walks to the kitchen to get a bottle. He hasn’t time to open it, though, as the red light goes off just moments later.

Mike takes a deep breath and opens the door.

“I bumped into one of your neighbors in the lobby, an old lady with a chihuahua.”, Harvey says. “She completely ignored me.”

“Oh yeah, Miss Eleonor, she owns the building.”, Mike explains as they walk to the living room. “Take a seat, I’ll be right there.”, he gestures towards the couch.

Harvey clears his throat and settles on the couch. He usually takes his dates home, not the other way around, and it feels weird. He had no intention of taking Mike home anyway, it would have been too awkward considering what happened there a week ago. Being here is awkward too but he’s still glad Mike asked him because it means Mike and him are on the same page. You don’t invite someone to your place just to offer them a glass of wine after you’ve had dinner and drinks, do you?

“Here.”, Mike hands him a glass and puts the bottle on the coffee table.

“Wow, Château Latour.”, Harvey grabs the bottle and nods, visibly impressed.

“Yeah, we only have great wines here, Rachel says she’d rather not drink at all than drink a cheap wine.”, Mike replies and takes a sip of his glass.

 _Such a snob_ , Harvey thinks. He knows he shouldn’t think that, Rachel’s not a bad person, she just gets on his nerves. And maybe Donna’s right, he’s jealous. Of all the time she gets to spend with Mike, of the way Mike looks at her like she’s some kind of goddess, like he owes her his life.

“Sorry again about my brother.”, he says because he needs to stop thinking about Rachel.

“Don’t be, he’s great, we had a nice time.”, Mike smiles.

“He’s a little pushy, though.”, Harvey puts his glass on the coffee table. “He didn’t mean to throw you off with his game, he’s just a very open person and he thinks everybody wants to know about his sex life and embarrassing stories and share theirs.”, he laughs.

He doesn’t necessarily want to broach the subject again but he’d like to know why Mike couldn’t answer Paul’s question.

“He sure does like to tell stories.”, Mike laughs. “I know he didn’t mean to upset me or anything and he’s right, that was supposed to be an easy question but, um…”, Mike swallows hard and bites his bottom lip.

“Is it an embarrassing story?”, Harvey asks with a playful smile since Mike seems to want to talk about it.

“No, not at all, it's just the... context.”, Mike replies and looks away. “Okay.”, he says after a moment. “I’ll tell you why I didn’t answer if you tell me what Paul meant when he talked about the porn movies.”

“I can’t.”, Harvey very quickly replies. “That’s a _very_ embarrassing story.”

“So he _was_ talking about you!”, Mike exclaims and Harvey realizes with horror that yes, he basically confessed to being the person Paul was talking about. “Oh my god!”

“I didn’t say that!”, Harvey protests but Mike’s already laughing out loud.

“When? When was it?”

“I’m not telling you and it’s not what you think it is.”, Harvey rolls his eyes. _Screw you, Paul_.

“It’s totally what I think it is.”, Mike chokes. “Come on, tell me! When did you film _two_ porn movies? Are you really a lawyer or is it just a cover?”

“I am really a lawyer.”, Harvey gives him a pointed look. “Tell me your first kiss story.”, he says and Mike stops laughing. “I told you about my… _god_ …”, he rubs his face. “I told you so now it’s your turn.”

“You didn’t tell me, I guessed.”, Mike tries to buy himself some time. “Do you have a porn name? What is it?”

“No I don't!”, Harvey can’t help laughing. “I’m not telling you anything else. Now, tell me your story so I can laugh at you.”

“Oh you definitely will.”, Mike sighs. He has to tell Harvey, there will never be a good time and he’ll probably run out the door when he knows but he said he’d tell him… “A guy kissed me on the lips in high school.”, he says, fidgeting nervously. “Not a real kiss, just… a kiss.”, he looks down at his hands. “My first _real_ kiss was, uh… a week ago. It was you.”, he almost whispers, his heart stomping in his chest.

Harvey’s heart skips a beat and he wonders for a second if he heard him well. He’s glad that Mike’s not looking at him because right now he doesn’t know what to say. He was Mike’s first kiss… Mike had never kissed anyone bef-. _Wait_. If Mike had never kissed anyone that means… _Mike’s a virgin_. He’s certainly not going to laugh at Mike but he _really_ doesn’t know what to think, what to say. How come their dates always end up weird?

Harvey clears his throat and refills their glass, hoping Mike is just in deep thoughts and not having another panic attack.

“Mike?”, he says, just to check that he sounds okay, and gently strokes Mike’s knee.

Mike looks up, his cheeks redder than Harvey’s ever seen them. And he’s seen Mike blush a handful of times.

“Told him it was a stupid game.”, he tries to joke.

Mike gives him a small smile and grabs his glass.

“Are they yours?”, Harvey points at the pictures on the wall.

“Yeah.”, Mike replies and takes a big gulp of his wine.

“You know, I saw you in Central Park the day you took the picture of the ducks on the lake, the one you posted on Facebook.”

“Oh…”, Mike swallows hard.

“I didn’t know you yet, we met that day at Donna’s party.”, Harvey smiles. “You were lying on the grass and I _totally_ checked your ass.”, he smirks.

“Oh…”, Mike says again, mentally facepalming for not being able to say anything else.

“I was running across the lake and-“

“I saw you too.”, Mike nods, remembering. “I remember that the park was practically desert except for one jogger. So it was you.”, he smiles.

“Yep.”, Harvey replies. “Hey, can I ask you a question?”

“Is it going to be embarrassing again?”, Mike makes a face.

“Probably.”, Harvey smiles apologetically.

“Okay…”, Mike exhales deeply. “Go ahead.”

“What did you think of your first kiss?”

Mike opens his mouth and closes it again. His burning cheeks cannot seem to catch a break tonight.

Harvey doesn’t really want to know and he wouldn’t know what to answer if he was asked the same question, he just wants to let Mike know that the revelation didn’t throw him off.

“I-“, Mike begins to say but he’s cut by Harvey’s lips on his. By Harvey’s thumbs stroking his burning cheeks.

And he closes his eyes. Harvey didn’t run away when he told him. Harvey’s still here, Harvey’s _kissing him_. He wants to scream with joy and his heart feels like it’s trying to jump out of his chest. That’s probably what pure happiness feels like, he thinks, deepening the kiss. His hands move up to Harvey’s hair of their own accord and when he opens his eyes again, Harvey’s eyes are closed. _God, he’s beautiful_ … He should stop thinking and focus, he thinks, closing his eyes again.

When Harvey finally pulls away, they’re both breathless.

“I should go.”, Harvey smiles, running a thumb across Mike’s wet bottom lip.

He doesn’t want to leave but Mike’s got somewhere to be tomorrow morning and… well, that’s not the main reason, but that’s what he tells himself anyway. Because right now he needs a goddamn _good_ reason to go.

“Okay…”, Mike whispers.

“Are you free Thursday evening?”, Harvey asks, getting up.

“Yeah.”, Mike nods a little too enthusiastically and Harvey suppresses a smile.

“I’ll call you.”

Mike sighs and it takes Harvey a second to understand why.

“ _Text_ you.”, he says after a moment. “Told you, you’re good, even I can’t wrap my head around the fact that you’re deaf.”

Mike shakes his head with a smile.

“Goodnight.”, Harvey says and he winks before turning around and walking to the front door.

“Goodnight, and thank you.”, Mike replies, hoping Harvey understands that his ‘ _thank you_ ’ covers a lot more than just the drinks and the nice evening.


	12. Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another very long chapter!! Hope you enjoy it! Thank you so so so very much for all the comments and kudos, you're amazing!

Rachel wakes up about 30 minutes before her phone is due to start ringing. She contemplates going back to sleep but she quickly realizes that she won’t so she gets up, starts some music on her phone, pushes the speakers button and heads for the bathroom. She always showers before Mike because Mike takes forever and the one time she let him go first, he promised to make it quick because he was running late and _she_ ended up late for an important meeting.

_“A kick in a teeth is good for some, a kiss with a fist is better than none…”_

She sheds her nightie and climbs in the shower.

She was too tired and too upset to shower when she came home early this morning. Even though she still managed to have a nice time, Donna’s revelation kind of ruined their date for her. She hid it well but when Donna asked her to stay the night, she declined. Oh she had hoped Donna would ask, she even had already prepared her clothes in case she’d have to make quick stop home to shower and change before going to work. She spent the day thinking about their date and planning a way to let Donna know she was ready to take things to the next level. She couldn’t wait to see her. But then Donna said she “wasn’t into kids”, and it sounded so nonnegotiable, so heartfelt that it completely ruined the mood for Rachel.

“ _Broke your jaw once before. I spilt your blood upon the floor. You broke my leg in return so let's sit back and watch the bed burn…_ ” 

Donna seemed surprised and disappointed when Rachel said she’d better go because she had court early in the morning but she didn’t say anything. She walked her to the door and they shared a long kiss. And does Rachel loves to kiss her. That’s _so_ frustrating. Everything is perfect. Donna is fun, smart, insanely gorgeous and they have a lot in common, there’s never a dull moment when they’re together. Still, there’s this one little detail, this one thing Rachel desperately wants that Donna apparently can’t give her, this one thing they don’t have in common. Everything is perfect. Or rather _was_ perfect. Every couple is bound to talk about kids at one point or another and it can either be an exciting prospect or a deal breaker. And Rachel managed to put that thought aside for one night, to enjoy Donna’s company and talk and laugh and kiss and more… but she can’t just ignore it anymore, she needs to face the ugly fact. If Donna doesn’t want kids, Rachel can’t stay with her. She can’t give up on her biggest dream. Even for Donna.

_“You hit me once I hit you back, you gave a kick I gave a slap. You smashed a plate over my head then I set fire to our bed…”_

The scalding water makes her feel somewhat better and she takes a deep breath when she steps out of the shower and looks at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Better now than later when she’s in too deep, she thinks. But deep down, she doesn’t really believe it. She’s already in love with Donna and the thought of losing her makes her heart clench tightly in her chest. She has to know for sure, she needs to talk to Donna. And she needs to talk to Mike, he’s always very helpful when it comes to the matters of the heart, he’s a great listener and always gives great advice. He knows her, he’s helped her recover from heartbreaks before… she needs to talk to him.

She turns off the music with a sigh and quickly proceeds to blow-dry her hair.

 

Mike grunts when he feels his alarm clock vibrating under his pillow and he rolls around on his back. His eyes jerk open when a blanket lands on his naked body.

Rachel is sitting on his bed with a disgusted face.

“Seriously, put it away.”, she says, folding her arms across her chest. “I just ate.”

Mike rolls his sleepy eyes and sits up before sliding an arm under his pillow to grab the vibrating device and turn it off.

“Did you just come home?”, he asks and yawns.

“No, I came home around two.”, Rachel replies. “Just for your information, the Château Latour was the most expensive bottle in the cabinet.”, she smiles, somewhat knowingly and Mike wonders what she thinks she knows.

“Sorry.”, Mike purses his lips. “I don’t know anything about wine…”

“It’s okay, Harvey surely does and I imagine he enjoyed it. I hope it was worth it.”, she smirks.

“Yeah.”, Mike licks his lips. “How did you know it was him?”

“Just ‘yeah’?”, she laughs. “Donna told me he asked you out. Even if she hadn’t, I would have figured it out.”, she smiles. “So, just ‘yeah’?”

“Why are you suddenly interested in what I do with Harvey? What happened to ‘he’s playing you, he’s an asshole, he’s not good f-“

“I get it.”, Rachel cuts him, a hand held up. “I just need to know that at least one of us had a nice date.”

“Oh.”, Mike moves to sit on the edge of the bed. “What happened?”, he asks, quickly putting on his boxers.

“Donna doesn’t want kids.”, Rachel replies, her shoulders slumping.

“Oh no…”

“Yeah…”, she gets up and straightens her pencil skirt. “Her sister Jane is pregnant and she said she ‘wasn’t into kids’…”, she airquotes. “… but couldn’t wait to buy designer baby clothes.”

“That’s why she didn’t drink at Donna’s party.”, Mike smiles. He’s happy for Jane, they really hit it off. “What does ‘not into kids’ even mean?”, he frowns. “Are you sure that’s what she meant?”, he asks, walking to the bedroom door.

“I don’t think it can mean anything other than that…”, Rachel replies when he turns around to look at her answer.

They walk to the kitchen and Rachel takes a seat around the dining table where her now cold coffee lays.

“Have you talked to her about that?”, Mike asks and starts the coffee machine.

“No.”, Rachel shakes her head. “I will but I wasn’t ready yesterday, I needed to process the information first.”

“And?”, Mike asks and he grabs a granola bar from the food cupboard before joining her at the table.

“And if she really doesn’t plan on having kids, or _a_ kid, I…”, she looks down, and it breaks Mike’s heart a little, and looks up again. “I have to put an end to our relationship.”

Mike sighs and takes a bite of his granola bar. He knows being a mom’s Rachel biggest dream. She’s always talked about having kids, she used to put pillows under her t-shirts when she was only a teenager and pretend she was pregnant. And she’s been keeping and updating a list of potential names for as long as he's known her.

“I’m sorry…”, he says, walking to the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee.

“I…”, Rachel begins to say and she takes a sip of her own cup. “Do you think I should break up with her? Do you think that’s what I should do?”, she asks with pleading eyes and Mike knows she wants him to tell her that she shouldn’t.

“I don’t know, Rach’…”, he replies, walking back to the dining room. “What I know is that you’ve always wanted to have a kid and…”, he pauses for a while, unable to hold her pleading gaze any longer. “You deserve to be with someone who wants it as bad as you do.”, he says and he’s aware that it’s not a very straightforward answer.

“But I don’t _want_ to break up with her.”, Rachel sniffs and Mike closes his eyes because he hates to see her cry.

They don’t speak again for a long moment during which she gets up to get a tissue and Mike finishes his breakfast.

“Tell me about your date.”, Rachel eventually says with a tentative smile.

“We went to a restaurant owned by one of Harvey's high school friends, Julie, she’s a cook.”, Mike explains and the genuine happiness she sees in his eyes warms her wounded heart. “Then we went to a jazz bar and I met his twin brother, he’s with the NY SWAT, he’s really nice.”, he nods enthusiastically. “Then Harvey drove me back here.”

“Great.”, Rachel grins and places a hand on one of his hands. “And what happened here?”, she wiggles her eyebrows.

“I told him he was my first kiss.”, Mike replies and Rachel gapes.

“What did he say?!”

“He asked me what I thought of it.”, Mike chuckles. “I don’t think he fully understood what that meant, though…”, he blushes.

“Of course he did.”, Rachel gives his hand a gentle squeeze. “He’s Harvey Specter for god’s sake!”, she makes a smug face and Mike understand that she’s trying to imitate his voice. What he’d give to hear Harvey’s voice… “Did you kiss?”, she asks.

“Yes.”, he replies and looks down.

“I’m happy for you.”, Rachel says with a smile after she’s grabbed his chin and lifted his head up. “I don’t like him and I’m still not sure he’s good for you but I like how he happy he seems to make you.”

“Thanks.”, Mike swallows. “What time is it? I have a shooting at 9.”

“It’s almost 8.”, Rachel replies. “I have to go.”, she sighs. “I’ll see you tonight for dinner?”

“Yeah.”, Mike downs the rest of his coffee. “Have a good day.”

 

 

“Morning Mr. Specter!”, Ethan cheers when Harvey arrives.

Yeah, he’s late again because he spilled his coffee on his suit and spent a good 20 minutes fuming, cursing and finding another suit/tie combination that fitted his now sour mood.

“Morning, Ethan.”, he mumbles before entering his office and closing the door behind him, which is a code they have that means “Don’t let anyone in except, of course, if it’s the President”.

He’s not even seated at his desk when he hears a soft knock. Ethan’s standing behind the glass door, an expectant and yet apologetic smile playing on his lips. Harvey sighs dramatically and motions for him to come in.

“One quick thing and I promise to leave alone.”, the young secretary says when he’s opened the door. “Your brother called 3 times and he eventually left a message.”

“What is it?”, Harvey rolls his eyes.

“I, uh, I wrote it down.”, Ethan nods and hesitates for a second before walking to Harvey’s desk. “Here.”, he hands him a folded piece of paper and quickly leaves the office.

“ _Message from Paul Specter left at 8:06._

 _Hey bro, I just wanted to let you know I had a blast with you and Mike last night. He’s the bomb. (sic) I’d love to see you both again and I happen to have just been appointed a free day. Would you and Mike like to have dinner at my place on Thursday? Love you (sic, I swear) Call me._ ”

Of course Paul just _had_ to dictate such a personal message to Harvey’s assistant… He’s not even supposed to call his office number.

He’s not sure he wants to have dinner with Paul, even less with Paul _and_ Mike. Paul talks a lot, too much, causing him to make blunders, to ask questions he’s not supposed to ask, ultimately making everybody uncomfortable. Especially Harvey. He’s pretty sure he’s not just tactless, he actually enjoys taking people out of their comfort zone. Because, contrary to Harvey, his comfort zone is _nonexistent_. Paul is as comfortable telling people about an important intervention he did with his team as he is recounting this one time he met this gorgeous lady and couldn’t keep a hard-on because he was drunk…

He’ll have to ask Mike. Or maybe he should conveniently forget to ask him and tell Paul neither of them are free. But he knows his brother and if he tells him they can’t make it this time, he’ll keep offering new dates until either Harvey accepts or they end up fighting and not talking to each other for months.

With a sigh, Harvey takes his phone out of his briefcase.

_“Morning. My brother called, he says you’re the ‘bomb’ and asks if we’re free to have dinner with him tomorrow. Feel free to decline, really. Hope your photo shoot goes well.”_

He stares at the screen for a moment, wondering how to end his text, wondering if he should add something to make it less formal (god, he hates text messages) but finally decides to send it as it stands.

 

When Mike arrives at Logan’s apartment, he’s greeted by someone he vaguely remembers as being Logan’s cousin or former roommate. Logan’s girlfriend, Serena, is trying to be a model and she’s asked Mike to help her build a portfolio before she starts touring the agencies. Mike isn’t really sure she stands any chance but she’s a nice girl and it’s work. Yes, Serena’s a nice girl, though not particularly smart, and she’s gorgeou but Mike still finds her too way old to start a modeling career.

“Hey dude!”, the man smiles and motions for Mike to come in. “We’ve met before, I’m Chuck, Logan’s cousin.”, he says and Mike has to really concentrate to understand because the man is speaking really fast and not completely facing him. “I’m also Serena’s agent.”, he winks.

“Okay, I’m Mike.”, Mike smiles.

“Miiiiike!”, Serena squeals when she sees him.

She’s in her underwear, a skimpy black lace number, and is perched on insanely high stilettos.

“Hey Serena.”, Mike smiles and hugs her.

“What do you think?”, she pulls away and spreads her arms, a victorious grin on her face.

“Spectacular.”, Mike grins back. He really thinks she is, she’s got a banging body.

“Thank you!”, she claps. “Okay, so…”, she turns around and probably starts telling Mike what she’s imagined for the photo shoot but Mike can’t see it.

“Serena…”, he sighs. “I can’t hear you.”

“Oh, yes, sorry!”, she giggles. “I was saying that I we could start with some pictures on the couch.”

“Sure.”, Mike nods. “Let me unpack my things.”

“You guys need coffee or anything?”, Chuck asks, poking Mike’s shoulder to get his attention.

“Coffee would be great, thanks.”, Mike replies.

 

Rachel can’t really concentrate on the voice coming out of the speaker at the center of the table. They’re having a conference call with one of their client who’s currently vacationing in Hawaii but she’s not really listening. She’s hearing words: “unacceptable”, “there’s gotta be something you…”, “court”, “no way”, but apart from the fact that their billionaire client seems pissed, she doesn’t really know what’s going on in the room.

Donna’s words keep replaying in her mind and the more she tries to give them another meaning, the more upset she gets. How is she going to ask Donna? How are you supposed to tell someone you just met that they’re great, that you’re having the time of your life, but that it just won’t work because they don’t want kids and you do? Even if it makes perfect sense, it’s not something easily verbalized. It would be so much simpler if she wasn’t already in love with Donna. So much easier if they didn’t get on so well…

“Rachel?”

… Maybe she could enjoy what they have for a while and try to forget about having a kid for a couple of years, she doesn’t want one now anyway. But that would mean hiding it from Donna and basically live with a ticking bomb in her heart and she doesn’t think she can do that.

“Rachel?”

“I’m sorry, what?”, she jerks around towards Frank who’s looking at her with worried narrowed eyes.

“Is everything alright?”, he asks. “You seemed very far away during our conference call.”

“I’m sorry…”, Rachel swallows thickly. “I’m just…”, she bites the inside of her cheek. “I’m tired and a little preoccupied but, um.”, she clears her throat and straightens up. “I’m good. What do we need to do now?”

“You didn’t listen to a word we said, did you?”, Frank smiles and Rachel looks down at her hands. “I’m going to give you a little summary of what’s going on. Listen close, I’ll need your full attention on this case, Mr. Sandler isn’t going to be happy if we can’t fix this.”

“Sorry again, I’m listening.”, she nods enthusiastically.

He explains to her that Eliott Sandler, a successful building contractor, is facing a class action suit from his own employees, 16 workers who are currently on strike. They’ve left the housing building they’re working on, in Chicago, citing that their contract (which the firm drafted) isn’t legit and doesn’t give them protection, should an accident happen.

“We’ll have to go over the contracts and check everything again.”, he says. “And if we find something in theirs, it means we’ll have to redraft every single contract Mr. Sandler’s company has made its workers sign…”, he sighs. “He can’t afford a lawsuit, that would jeopardize his business, not only over there in Chicago but in every other city he’s established himself.”

“When were these contract first drafted?”, Rachel asks, mentally calculating the workload it’s going to represent.

“2004 when he became our client.”, Frank rubs his face. “So many laws have changed since then, it’s going to take ages to update them.”

“Not to mention having each and every one of the workers sign the new contracts.”, she purses her lips. “It’s going to be tricky, they’re all going to want to use this to their advantage and ask for something in exchange. Let’s pray to god that we don’t find anything missing from their current contract.”

“I highly doubt that they’d have stopped working and threatened to sue if they weren’t positive that they contracts weren’t legit.”

“I’m going to go retrieve all of Mr. Sandler’s files from the archives.”, Rachel gets up. “Let’s meet again tonight when I have a clearer view on what was done 11 years ago.”

She doesn’t particularly enjoy digging into old files but she clearly needs a distraction and the file room seems like the best option right now.

 

_“Hello gorgeous. Spending the day in court again… but that means I’m in your neighborhood. Jury’s out til 3, wanna grab lunch?”_

Rachel is in the elevator with Julian, her favorite paralegal, as well as a dozen heavy boxes, when she receives Donna’s text. She’s made up her mind, she’s going to talk to her as soon as she can. But not over lunch, not when she needs to devote her full attention to a sensitive case.

_“I can’t. A huge thing just came up… lots of research. I won’t be able to meet you until this weekend, I’m afraid. xoxo”_

She regrets the tone, the words, the ‘xoxo’ as soon as she hits “Send”. She should have thought about it a little before typing her reply. Rereading it, she purses her lips, it sounds so dismissive…

She’s pulled back to reality when the elevator stops at her floor and she puts her phone away before pressing the door hold button and grabbing a box. It’s going to be a long day…

 

 

“I love them!”, Serena exclaims as they’re looking at the pictures Mike downloaded from his camera to his computer.

They’re nice pictures. A little too racy for Mike’s taste but they seem to be exactly what Serena had in mind and a happy client means a loyal customer. Mike could really use a recommendation and he likes this kind of photo shoots. Groups are hard to shoot because there’s always someone not smiling, picking their nose or looking away. Portraits aren’t easy either because most people don’t like to have their picture taken. It’s always nicer when the person is willing and fully participating and that’s the great thing with models.

“I still need to do a little work on them.”, Mike explains, pointing at the screen. “I’ll work on the selection we just made first thing tomorrow morning, okay?”

“I can’t wait to show them to Logan!”, Serena smiles. “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome, you’re a great model.”, Mike smiles. “How’s Logan by the way? I haven’t talked to him in ages.”

“He’s great. His father is thinking of giving him a portion of his company.”, Serena replies, putting on a pair of pink sweat pants. “He’s very busy. Oh!”, she winks. “Don’t tell Rachel, but his father’s thinking of taking his business to her firm.”

“Oh that’d be great.”, he nods with a smile.

“How is she? Has she found love on that website?”, she laughs.

“You’ll have to ask her.”, Mike suppresses a smile.

“So she has!”, Serena claps. “Have you met her?”

“My lips are sealed.”, Mikes says and makes a zipping gesture.

“Oh come on! What about you, Mikey?”

“Still sealed.”, Mike smirks.

“Okay, so I guess we’ll have to invite you both for dinner.”, she sighs. “I’ll ask Logan and we'll get back to you.”

“Sure.”, Mike replies and he proceeds to put his camera and various accessories away in their respective bags.

Serena’s nice, she’s never seen Mike with a boyfriend but she always asks anyway.

He wouldn’t have told her about Donna, even if Rachel hadn’t told him about her doubts this morning. Rachel’s a very private girl, she may not even want to tell them in person. As for his own situation, he doesn’t know what to think of it. Or he does but he’s afraid thinking about it too much might somewhat jeopardize it. He’s not usually superstitious and he has no idea where this comes from, but he still can’t believe someone’s interested in him, someone like Harvey. Someone as perfect as Harvey. And he’s surprised by his own reaction too. He’s never had a real crush before, maybe a couple of little crushes, men who either struck his eyes or his mind but nothing too serious, and certainly never reciprocal.

He never allowed himself to develop a crush, to even think that someone could like him, want him. Being rejected would hurt too much. So he’s never really pictured himself having sex with anyone. Oh, he has fantasies and kinks, but he’s just never met anyone he could picture himself being naked and comfortable with. He’s not sure he’d feel comfortable with Harvey (though he knows Harvey’s already see him in his birthday suit, _god_ ), but what he’s sure of is that he’d love to turn his fantasies into reality with Harvey, as scary as it sounds.

Yesterday, after Harvey’s departure, he spent an hour in his bed daydreaming about their kiss and everything else that could happen if everything continued to go well. He was about to fall asleep when the realization hit him: what if Harvey doesn’t want more from him than casual sex? What if Harvey’s not interested in a relationship? He was married once but from what their friends said, Harvey doesn’t seem to be interested in committing again… A week ago, a day ago, Mike would have agreed to whatever Harvey wanted. But last night, in his bed, the taste of Harvey still lingering on his lips, Mike wasn’t so sure anymore…

So no, he doesn’t know what to think of “it”, the thing between them, he can’t even give it a name. They’re not in a relationship, two dates is way too few to assume that. What are they? It bothers him, more than he’d like to admit.

He grabs his phone and his heart flutters in his chest when he sees that there’s a text from Harvey. He’s a little disappointed when he reads it, when Harvey asked him if he was free on Thursday he had hoped they would spend the evening alone. But he likes Paul so he pushes the lobby button and types his reply.

“ _I’ll gladly have dinner with your brother. Photo shoot went well, just heading out._ ”

He doesn’t add anything else because Harvey didn’t, so he decides to keep it minimal, almost professional.

His bags feel heavy on his back and arms but he doesn’t have time to drop them home before his meeting with Scott, so he takes a deep breath and heads for the subway. They should know for certain if their eviction case is going to court as Scott had a meeting with the judge this morning.

 

 

Rachel finally gets her hands on the very first contracts, buried deep inside box number 5. They’re neatly clipped together in a folder and Rachel stops dead when she reads the label:

> Date: dec. 21 2004
> 
> Signature:
> 
> _Harvey Specter_

Harvey worked at her father’s firm 11 years ago?

“Found anything interesting?”, Frank asks when he enters the conference room where she’s taken up residence.

“I just found the contracts.”, Rachel replies. “Apparently, they were drafted by Harvey Specter.”, she adds, handing him the thick file with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh yeah, he did an internship here. Your father kicked him out after two months.”, Frank chuckles. “You should give him a call, he could be really helpful with this case.”, he nods, handing her the files back. “When Harvey was fired, he was hired by Pearson Hardman, that was their name at the time, and Sandler followed him there. He didn’t stay long, though, something happened, he didn’t tell me. Anyway, Harvey knows our client’s company and we’re working on a relatively short timeframe here, if he’s willing to help, that’d be great.”

Rachel bites down a protest and opens the file.

“I don’t see him helping us…”, she mutters, flipping through the perfectly organized pages.

“It’s worth the try.”, Frank smiles. “Sandler’s flying back from Hawaii tomorrow morning, I’m meeting with him for lunch. He’ll want to know what we’re doing and I have to give him something so give Harvey Specter a call, okay?”, he walks to the door. “I’ll be in my office until 6, I have a meeting across town at 7. Keep me posted.”

“I will…”, she sighs and grabs her cell phone.

She didn’t think her day could go worse, but it just did.

“Pearson Specter, how may I help you?”, a cheerful feminine voice answers on the first ring.

“Hi, I’m Rachel Pettyfer from Rand, Calder and Zane, may I speak to Harvey Specter please?”

“Let me put you through his assistant.”

“Thank you.”, Rachel replies but the call’s already been transferred.

“Pearson Specter, this is Ethan, how may I help you?”

“Hi, _Ethan_ , I’m Rachel Pettyfer from Rand, Calder and Zane, may I speak to Harvey Specter please?”, she repeats monotonously.

“Sure, let me check if he’s available.”

She’s put on hold for what seems like _forever_ until Harvey finally picks up, startling her.

“Rachel.”

“Hi.”, she clears her throat. “I need your help on a case.”, she chooses to not beat around the bush.

“Can you afford me?”, Harvey jokes and she already regrets having dialled his number.

“Yes, _our firm_ can.”, she replies pointedly. “It’s about Sandler Contractor Inc.”

“How’s old Eliott doing these days?”

“Remember the contracts you drafted for him 11 years ago?”, Rachel asks.

“Yeah, of course I remember them. I was working for your father then.”, Harvey replies and Rachel can practically hear him smile.

“He fired you.”

“Yeah and I was hired on the spot by a bigger firm who could handle a little insubordination.”, he chuckles.

Rachel rolls her eyes and closes them, hoping it’ll help her relax.

“16 of Eliott Sandler’s workers are threatening to sue him because of a loophole in their contract.”, she explains because she’s got no intention of engaging in his stupid mind game.

“A _loophole_?”, Harvey burst out laughing and Rachel seriously considers hanging up on him. “I don’t make mistake, they’re iron clad.”

“No, they’re _not_.”, Rachel all but snaps. “They wouldn’t be threatening to sue if they hadn’t found something.”

“What do you need my help with anyway?”, Harvey asks, suddenly sounding a little annoyed.

“Frank suggested it.”, she replies because she really feels the need to point that out. “Eliott Sandler’s flying back from his vacation tomorrow morning to check on our progress on his case and I need to give Frank something.”

The line goes silent for a moment and Rachel is about to check her phone screen when Harvey speaks again.

“Ask nicely.”

“What?”, she frowns.

“Ask me nicely and I’ll help you.”

Rachel takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Please, Harvey, could you help me?”, she asks but it doesn’t sound “nice” at all.

“Um… No.”

“What do you want, Harvey?”, Rachel snaps.

“I want you to ask nicely.”

 _You’re doing this for the firm, for you father, for Frank_ , she tells herself. _Just do it, Rach’_.

“Please, Harvey.”, she tries her most seductive voice. “Could you help me with find what’s wrong with the contracts you drafted 11 years ago?”

“There’s nothing wrong with these contracts, you’re really not being cooperative here. So… no.”, Harvey sighs.

“Oh for god’s sake, Harvey!”, she shouts. “Could you quit being an asshole for 5 fucking seconds and agree to help me?!”

“I understand you got your back against the wall and you want to make daddy happy but I’m really not asking for much, you know? I’m simply asking for you to-”, Harvey begins to reply and it’s the last straw, Rachel hangs up.

“Son of a bitch!”, she slams her phone on the table and buries her face in her hands.

How the hell is she supposed to make nice with him when he’s being such a…? She rubs her face and exhales sharply. At this very moment, she seriously has no freaking idea why Donna and Mike, and all their friends, insist on saying Harvey’s a good man.

Her phone buzzes and when she sees the number, unknown to her contact list, she’s pretty sure she knows who it is and reluctantly slides her index finger across the screen.

“ _Meet me at the firm in 20. Harvey._ ”

She licks her lips and considers her reply for a moment.

 _“No. Let’s meet somewhere neutral. Outside our workplaces_.”, she types and sends.

What she really means is “I’m not ready to see Donna yet so let’s not take any chances here.”. Harvey’s reply pops up on her phone screen a couple of minutes later.

_“Nobody’s ever said no to you, have they? Alright, spoiled brat, let’s met at your place in 30. I’ll bring the food, you take care of the wine. Château Latour is fine.”_

Home is fine. Now she needs to text Mike to let him know Harvey’s coming for dinner.

 

She’s breathless when she steps out of the elevator 32 minutes later, juggling with a huge archive box, her briefcase and her keys.

“I thought I said 30 minutes.”, she hears and when she looks up, she sees Harvey standing outside the front door, a bag of takeaways and his briefcase resting at his feet.

She simply rolls her eyes and walks to the door, ignoring him.

“I tried ringing the bell.”, he says.

“Mike had a meeting with his lawyer, a really nice, handsome gay man who can speak sign language.”, Rachel quips. “I guess he’s not home yet.”, she looks up and smiles smugly.

Harvey tries his hardest to not let his surprise show and he makes a mental note to call the numbers Ethan gave him for the evening ASL courses. He can totally be a nice, handsome somewhat gay lawyer who speaks sign language. He picks up the food and his briefcase from the floor and follows her inside the quiet apartment.

Closing the door behind him, he notices the confused look she aims at the pairs of sneakers and socks sitting right in the middle of the entryway.

Rachel all but throws the file box on the dining table, heaving a loud frustrated sigh, and toes off her shoes.

“I’ll be right back, don’t touch anything.”, she says and disappears in the corridor.

Mike’s bedroom door isn’t completely shut so she pushes it open. She quickly comes in and shuts it behind her when she spots her naked best friend lying facedown and snoring softly on the bed.

She grabs the blanket and covers his body before gently stroking his back.

Mike stirs and mumbles something but he doesn’t wake up so she proceeds to tickle him.

“Mmmhh…”, Mike grimaces and tries to push her hand away. “Wha-“, he says when he opens his eyes.

“Shhhhh.”, Rachel holds up a finger to her lips. “ _Harvey’s in the living room._ ”, she signs, spelling Harvey’s full name to make sure Mike understands.

“What?”, Mike mouths as he sits up.

“ _Yes, I sent you a text. He’s helping me with a case._ ”, Rachel explains, closing her left hand into the palm of her right hand. “ _He brought dinner._ ”

Mike rubs his eyes and frowns. Is he having a dream?

“ _What time is it?_ ”, he asks, tapping his wrist with his index finger.

“It’s past 8.”, Rachel mouths. “Get dressed.”, she whispers and smiles before leaving the room, leaving a dumbfounded and slightly disoriented Mike behind.

When she comes back in the living room, Harvey’s standing by the window, his hands tucked in his pockets. He’s taken off his jacket and put it on the back of one of the chairs around the dining table.

“I hope you brought dinner for three because Mike’s here.”, she says, opening the box.

Harvey doesn’t reply because he did bring dinner for three, he was hoping Mike would be here.

“So…”, she sighs motioning for Harvey to take a seat. “Here are the contracts. I didn’t bring them all, I only took the 16 we need to focus on right now. It’s about a construction site in Chicago.”, she says, handing him half of them. “They’re on strike.”, she finally looks up at Harvey. “Apparently, there’s a clause missing in their contract and if something happens to them, they’re not covered by the company’s insurance. We need to find what’s missing and correct it.”

“Noth-“

“Don’t tell me nothing’s missing because I know you don’t believe it.”, Rachel cuts him. “You wouldn’t have agreed to help if you didn’t think there was a possibility that you made a mistake. So drop the attitude and get to work.”, she orders.

“Where’s the wine?”, Harvey asks after a moment, slightly taken aback by her sudden bossiness.

Mike comes in the room at this moment, dressed in a t-shirt and black home pants, dragging his bare feet sleepily.

“Hey.”, he waves in their direction, squinting his eyes to adjust to the light.

Harvey turns around and smiles fondly at him. A fond smile Rachel doesn’t fail to notice and she’s amazed by how different Harvey suddenly looks without his mask of smugness.

“How are you?”, he asks, turning around completely so he faces Mike.

“Tired.”, Mike replies with a smile and he walks to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water, which he downs in one long gulp. “Scott told us the judge dismissed his motion.”, he explains, walking back to the dining room and sitting down. “The case is going to trial on Friday.”

“So soon?”, Rachel asks.

“They’re being evicted at the end of the month.”, Harvey replies and Mike nods in agreement. “This better go fast.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right…”, Rachel sighs.

“What are you working on?”, Mike asks.

“A mistake Harvey made 11 years ago.”, she replies and Mike raises an eyebrow at Harvey who rolls his eyes.

“Aren’t you hungry?”, Mike offers because he can feel the tension and because the bag sitting on the kitchen counter smells like heaven.

“Oh yeah, maybe we should eat first.”, Rachel puts the files away and gets up.

Mike follows her to the kitchen and peeks inside the takeout bag while Rachel busies herself with the wine.

“Bugers and fries from Ari’s!”, he exclaims and looks up at Harvey with a grin. “I love this place!”

“I know.”, Harvey smiles and Rachel makes a face. “Don’t worry, I got you sushi.”, Harvey quickly adds and she can’t help a grateful smile. “Donna tipped me.”

“Oh.”, Rachel whispers and she clears her throat before walking back to the table with three highballs and a bottle of red wine.

“She told me you said you couldn’t see her until this weekend.”, he says with a knowing look. “Don’t tell her I said that but she looked upset, preoccupied even. Trouble in paradise?”, he asks.

“I need help with this.”, she taps on the pile of contracts. “Not couple counseling.”

“Yeah, you need my help and I brought dinner, you should totally watch your mouth.”, Harvey folds his arms across his chest.

“You would have replied the _exact_ same thing to me if I had asked you that.”, she looks at him pointedly and starts pouring the wine.

“Probably…”, Harvey smirks.

He’s beginning to like her, he thinks, and he turns to the kitchen to check on Mike who’s getting plates and cutlery, completely oblivious to what’s going on in the dining area.

“Can I help you with anything?”, Mike asks, carrying the food and plates on a tray.

“That’s nice of you to offer, but no.”, Rachel smiles at him. “We just need to read through these and find the mistake.”, she explains and can’t help a teasing glance at Harvey who is all but staring at Mike.

“Okay.”, Mike shrugs.

Rachel asks Harvey about his internship at her father’s firm and he gladly tells them about the two months he spent fighting Robert Zane’s authority, all the while helping win the two cases he had the time to dive into before he got fired. Mike laughs and says he can’t imagine someone even thinking about discussing Robert’s decisions and when they’re done eating, he puts everything away and moves to the living room to watch TV.

“Don’t forget to put it on mute.”, Rachel says with a smile.

 

About two hours later, Harvey’s read each of the contracts Rachel handed to him and they even traded piles at one point so he’s read hers too. Neither of them has found anything so Rachel goes to her room to get her law books and they start the whole process over, this time with the help of the books.

From time to time, Harvey turns to look at Mike who is sitting crossed legs on the couch, playing with the strings at the waist of his home pants. He’s apparently watching a documentary on Word War II and seems heavily captivated, his eyes going from the captions to the images, barely blinking. And Harvey finds it indescribably cute.

 

It’s Mike who finds the “mistake”, around midnight.

After a couple of minutes flicking through the channels once his documentary was over, he joined them at the table and started to go over the contracts Harvey had put away in his “read” pile.

“Got it!”, he yells, waving a page with a victorious smile, causing both Harvey and Rachel to jump.

“Jesus, Mike, lower your voice.”, Rachel exhales sharply, a hand pressed to her chest. “Got what?”, she asks.

“I found it, the mistake!”, Mike grins.

“What is it?”

Mike proceeds to explain to them what he’s found, reciting articles of law and precedents and, while Rachel clearly looks unsurprised and smiles proudly, Harvey finds himself at loss for words. Mike even offers a quick and discreet way to correct the mistake and when he is done, Harvey has to pick is jaw up from the floor. He considers having drunk too much wine or the whole evening being just a dream because there’s just no way in hell Mike did what Harvey thinks he just did.

“Is that what you were looking for?”, Mike asks him with a worried look.

“He’s mad because you just proved that he indeed made a mistake when he wrote those contracts.”, Rachel chuckles.

“It’s not really a mistake, though.”, Mike qualifies with a serious look. “It’s more of an oversight.”

“Still a mistake.”, she raises a teasing eyebrow at Harvey who is still staring at Mike.

“How did you know all that?”, Harvey finally manages to speak.

“I, uh, I helped Rachel study for the Bar and I, um… remembered it.”, Mike replies, swallowing hard because he can’t see if Harvey’s happy or mad.

“You _remem_ bered it?”, Harvey huffs. “You just quoted the law word for word and even gave some very precisely dated precedents. And a solution. That’s not just _remembering_.”, he shakes his head.

“But, does it help?”, Mike blushes. “What I’ve found, that’s what you were looking for, right?”

“Yep.”, Rachel replies. She knows Mike doesn’t like to talk about his special memory skills and she remembers Harvey wasn’t there yet when the subject was brought up on the beach a couple of days ago.

“That doesn’t explain how you can…”, Harvey narrows his eyes at Mike. “… know all of this _by heart_.”

“I just have a good memory, alright? It’s no big deal.”, Mike snaps and gets up from the table.

He goes back to sitting on the couch and picks up the remote.

“Did I say something I shouldn’t have?”, Harvey asks Rachel who purses her lips.

“He’s got an eidetic memory.”, she whispers, even though Mike can’t hear her anyway. “Once he reads something, he understands it and once he understands it, he never forgets it. He can recite any book he’s read.”, she nods proudly. “You give him a chapter, a page, the beginning of a sentence and he can go and recite the whole thing.”

Harvey turns to look at Mike who’s still visibly upset, his cheeks red with what he imagines must be both embarrassment and anger.

“That’s…”, he begins to say and stops to study Mike for a moment.

So the young man currently fidgeting on the couch is basically a gorgeous, talented and funny genius whose only flaw is that he cannot hear. Maybe it’s not even a flaw, Harvey thinks. Maybe it’s what makes him so _damn_ irresistible.

“That’s crazy.”, he turns back to Rachel, shaking his head, dumbfounded. “I didn’t even know that existed. Can you imagine the possibilities? He could have been _anything_ he wanted. A doctor, an engineer, a politician…”, he shakes his head and Rachel smiles broadly.

“I know.”, she nods and glances at Mike. “Don’t tell him I told you, he’d kill me.”

“I won’t.”, Harvey replies, gathering the papers in one neat pile. “So, you got everything you need?”

“I guess.”, Rachel replies, helping him put the papers back into the box.

“Why didn’t you ask _him_ to help you?”, Harvey asks, placing the lid on the box.

“He…”, she looks away and licks her lips. “For some reason, he doesn’t see his memory as a gift. He thinks it makes him a freak.”, she explains. “And he hates when I ask him to use it. Besides, I didn’t know that he knew enough to help us. He must have read all my study books.”

Harvey nods and stretches his stiff and rather painful neck and back.

“You can stay the night.”, she offers. “The couch’s really comfortable.”

He’s considering the offer when Mike turns off the TV and gets up from the couch.

“Goodnight.”, he mutters, heading for his bedroom. “And thanks for dinner.”, he turns around and adds, looking everywhere but at Harvey, then walks away.

“He’s mad at me.”, Harvey says.

“No, he’s mad at himself.”, Rachel replies as if it had been a question. “He really likes you, you know?”

Harvey’s heart does a funny thing in his chest and he can’t hold her gaze, he has to look away to hide the effect this little statement has on him.

“I should go.”, he says, clearing his throat.

“Mike would tell you to stay if he wasn’t busy sulking in his room, so stay.”, Rachel gives him a small smile. “I’m getting up at 6, I’ll wake you up so you have time to go home and change.”, she says and she leaves the room.

Harvey does want to stay, he’d like to talk to Mike, to tell him how impressed he is with what he’s done tonight. To tell him he shouldn’t be ashamed of himself. So he mentally accepts Rachel’s offer, convincing himself it has to do with her insistence and the fact that he had a lot to drink rather than with what he’s beginning to feel for Mike.

“Here.”, Rachel reappears moments later, pulling him out of his thoughts and handing him a blanket. “Thank you for helping me tonight.”, she smiles gratefully.

“No problem.”, Harvey smiles back. “You’re a lot more fun when you’re not being a bitch.”, he adds with a smug smile.

“Go to hell.”, Rachel rolls her eyes before turning on her heel and going to her bedroom.

 

 

Mike is cold. He doesn’t want to open his eyes, afraid he might have trouble finding sleep again, but he needs to locate his blanket so he starts patting the bed lazily, his face still buried in his pillow. His eyes jerk open and he sits up, surprised and a little scared, when he feels warm skin under the pads of his fingers. _What the hell?_ He remembers going to bed and though he cannot see anything in the pitch-dark room, he knows it’s his room, he knows this smell, the feel of the sheets.

“Rachel?”, he asks, running his fingers across what feels like an arm.

 _Definitely not Rachel’s arm_. Too hairy, too strong, too thick. Harvey was here, working on Rachel’s case-

Mike’s heart flips in his chest when a warm hand settles on his naked hip.

“Harvey?”, he asks breathlessly, his heart drumming in his ears.

The warm hand moves from his hip to his cheek, caressing his chest and leaving goosebumps in its trail, then a nose brushes his nose.

Mike opens his mouth to ask again but he gets his answer when soft and warm lips begin to tease the corner of his mouth. _Harvey_. He recognizes the gentleness, the feel of Harvey’s hand on his cheek, Harvey’s spicy cologne.

His heart is still stomping in his chest and when Harvey kisses him, he closes his eyes. This is all too familiar. The darkness, the kiss, the sensory deprivation… his whole body tenses and he deepens the kiss, hoping it will help him focus on what’s happening instead of the panic building up in him.

The next moment, the lips are gone, the hands on his cheek and back have left and Mike wonders if he didn’t just imagined all of it. He crawls on the bed towards the nightstand when the light suddenly goes on. He kneels up and blinks a couple of times to adjust to the light and when he finally uncovers his eyes, he finds Harvey sitting on the edge of the bed and smiling at him. He’s wearing his undershirt and a pair of black or dark blue boxers.

“Hey.”, Harvey says, handing him the blanket.

“Oh.”, Mike all but tears it from his hands and quickly wraps it around his waist. “What are you doing, um, here?”, he asks, swallowing thickly.

“Rachel offered me to stay the night.”, Harvey replies, moving closer to him. “I wanted to talk to you, you seemed upset when you left. But you were already asleep when I came in so I thought I could sleep here. With you.”, he smiles teasingly.

“I… No, I wasn’t upset, I mean I was just, um… It’s okay.”, he blushes.

“I didn’t just come here to talk to you, though.”, Harvey smirks, moving even closer. “I was actually hoping to get a goodnight kiss.”

Mike can’t help but smile at that and he takes a deep breath before leaning in and placing a quick kiss on Harvey’s lips.

“Goodnight.”, he grins.

Harvey chuckles and props himself on his knees before pulling him into another much less chaste kiss. He’s been dreaming about kissing him for the whole evening and he’s suddenly very grateful Rachel asked him to stay. He moves a hand to Mike’s hair and gently tugs at it, causing Mike to moan beautifully into the kiss. He can’t believe he’s the first person to ever kiss him and right now, as he runs his other hand down the smooth skin of Mike’s back, he also wants to be the last.

Mike lets go of the blanket and wraps his hands around Harvey’s waist, pressing their bodies together and Harvey bites down a moan when he feels Mike’s cock rubbing against his growing erection. He moves both of his hands down to Mike’s butt and gives it a playful squeeze to which Mike responds with a deep, guttural moan while arching his back, causing their cocks to rub together again.

“Shit, Mike.”, Harvey whispers through greeted teeth, breaking the kiss.

Mike opens his eyes and pulls away. His face is flushed, his pupils blown, his lips red and wet and swollen, and Harvey thinks he’s never seen anything so tempting in his life. And, considering his experience in that department, that’s saying a lot. How the hell is he supposed to not jump on him and fuck him into the mattress right here right now?

“Now, that was a goodnight kiss.”, he smiles, moving a hand to run a thumb across Mike’s lips. “I have no idea what time it is but I’m getting up at 6 and it’s been a long day so we should go back to sleep.”

“Okay.”, Mike nods, grabbing the blanket and moving to the other side of the bed.

“Should I turn off the lights?”, Harvey asks, pointing at the bedside lamp.

“Sure.”, Mike nods again. He lowers himself on the bed and spreads the blanket over the mattress. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”, Harvey smiles and he turns off the lamp.

He can hear Mike’s still slightly ragged breath in the quiet and now dark room and he wishes he could talk to him some more, talk about what happened when Mike left the living room after his discovery, tell him how amazing he thinks he is… He extends an arm that lands on Mike shoulder and he gives it a little stroke. Mike makes a little, probably unconscious, sound like he sometimes does and rolls on his side before grabbing Harvey’s hand and bringing it to his lips.

Harvey lets out a long and satisfied sigh and closes his eyes.


	13. Emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so here's yet another very long chapter, one of the longest I've ever written. Again, I initially planned on writing all of this in two chapters but once I had reached the number of words I consider fitting for a chapter, I realized I couldn't leave things like that, I had to write more.  
> I hope you enjoy it! Those of you who were asking for more Marvey, here you go! *not spoiling*  
> Thanks a lot for the amazingly sweet words you've left me in the comments since the beginning of the story, seriously, this so motivating, so encouraging. I know I say that a lot, but you guys are amazing! <3

Rachel pulls on a bathrobe and walks to the living room, careful not to be too loud, she doesn’t want to startle Harvey.

When she reaches the couch, she finds it empty and her first thought is that Harvey probably left already. But then she spots his clothes, neatly folded on the back of a chair in the dining area. She just went to the bathroom so he’s definitely not there, leaving just one other possibility: Mike’s room.

She turns on the coffee machine and yawns loudly before heading to Mike’s bedroom. What she sees when she opens the door makes her heart melt: Harvey’s lying on his back in the middle of the bed, snoring softly and Mike’s curled up on his side, wrapped in a blanket, snoring loudly. Of course he hogged the covers, he always does because, even though he insists on sleeping naked, he’s always _always_ cold. His face is pressed against Harvey’s upper arm and one of his arms is resting on Harvey’s chest. Mike’s always been a cuddler, ever since they were kids and sleeping in the same bed, she’d always have to push him away, back to his side of the bed.

She hates to admit it, but they look really cute. Leaving the door open, she rushes to the kitchen to get her phone and snaps a picture and a short video, she wants to remember the sound intensity of their snoring (how does Harvey even manage to sleep?) and she’s sure Donna’s going to love it. _Donna_ … Donna, who sent her a text when she was going to bed last night, wishing her a good night, saying she hoped her research work was going well, that she missed her. Rachel first decided to ignore it but then she thought it wasn’t fair so she replied that yes, everything was going great and asked her if they could have lunch together the next day, that she needed to talk to her.

“ _Of course, I’ll postpone my business lunch. Is everything alright?_ ”

“ _Yes. Everything’s fine. See you tomorrow. Goodnight._ ”

“ _< 3_”

She takes one more picture and closes the door, she doesn’t have the heart to wake Harvey and disrupt their peacefulness.

Coffee’s ready when she comes back to the kitchen and she’s about to pour herself a cup when a phone starts ringing loudly. She takes a minute to locate it near Harvey’s briefcase on the dining table.

“Donna Paulsen calling…”, she can read on the screen and her stomach clenches painfully.

It’s barely 6 in the morning, maybe this is important. Maybe she should answer. No, she shouldn’t, it’s not her phone, Donna’s not calling her. Maybe she should wake Harvey and tell him… but by the time she’ll have done that, it will have stopped ringing.

“Hey Donna.”, she finally picks up and clears her throat when she hears how hoarse her voice sounds.

“Rachel?”

“Yeah, Harvey’s phone was ringing and since it’s pretty early, I thought this might be important.”, Rachel replies.

“Well, I just needed to ask him something.”, Donna says and Rachel can hear water running in the background. “Why do you have Harvey’s phone?”

“He’s asleep.”, Rachel explains. “He came here for dinner yesterday to help me on my research thing, he was involved with it, it’s a long story… but he stayed for the night.”

“Oh, okay.”, Donna replies cheerfully. “I’m glad you picked up.”

Rachel knows Donna’s throwing her a line, she’s testing the waters.

“Do you need me to wake him?”, she asks, smacking her lips nervously. “He’s with Mike, I can send you a picture.”

“You mean, they’ve slept together?!”, Donna squeals.

“Well, yeah, _in the same bed_.”, Rachel chuckles. “I don’t know about the rest.”

“Don’t wake him and send me the picture, I’ll add it to his file.”

“His file?”, Rachel frowns.

“Yep, I have a file for each of my friends. Memories, quotes…”, Donna replies very seriously. “I’ll show you someday, some of it better not end up in the hands of a lesser person.”

“Oh God…”, Rachel laughs.

“Oh, I have a file on you too, you know?”, Donna points out. “Nothing embarrassing in it. _Yet_.”

“Phew.”, Rachel sighs dramatically. “I’ll send you the picture and I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Sure.”, Donna suddenly sounds worried. “What time?”

“12:30?”

“Okay, I’ll wait for you in the lobby.”

“See you then.”, Rachel swallows thickly.

“Yes. Bye now.”

Rachel’s throat is too tight, she can’t speak anymore so she hangs up and puts Harvey’s phone back on the table.

What is she going to tell Donna? How is she going to explain it without crying? She can’t even _think_ about it without tearing up. Donna’s going to be looking perfect, with her perfect smile, her sweet voice, her caring eyes… Rachel knows Donna cares a lot for her, she’s felt in the way she touches her, in her constant texting and though she doesn’t know if Donna’s is _in love_ with her, she’s pretty sure she’s going to break her heart. And Rachel hates herself for what she’s about to do. She feels miserable and would give anything for a hug right now.

“Strong, Rachel.”, she exhales sharply and sniffs, grabbing her cup of coffee with trembling hands.

 

 

Harvey wakes up but he keeps his eyes closed. Something tells him it’s past his wake up time, he can feel the sun bathing the room behind his eyelids and he’s a little warm. It cannot be 6am. He smiles when he becomes aware of Mike’s loud snoring and he finally opens his eyes.

Mike’s lying at his side, curled up in his blanket, his face buried in Harvey’s shoulder.

Harvey looks around the room for a clock or a phone and he finally sees Mike’s phone on the nightstand on the other side of the bed. He carefully sits up and chuckles when he catches sight of Mike’s face. His lips are parted and drool’s dripping onto the bed, his hair is a mess and his cheeks are pink with sleep and warmth. Harvey wouldn’t normally find that endearing, he hates people who drool, it normally disgusts him to no end. Well, he usually can’t stand sleeping with people who snore either and yet, he managed to sleep for a whole night untroubled. He smiles again and slowly leaves the bed before walking around it to check the time on Mike’s phone.

9:08. _Fuck_.

He casts one last glance at Mike, who has moved to take Harvey’s warm spot and is currently rubbing his nose and mumbling, and he quietly steps out of the bedroom, leaving the door open.

The living room is empty and Harvey finds a note on his folded clothes.

 

 

 

 

> _I didn’t want to wake you, you looked comfortable and I figured Mike’s snores would wake you at some point. Check your phone :) Thanks again for the help._

Raising a curious eyebrow, he grabs his phone and opens Rachel’s text. He wouldn’t call it _fluttering_ , because it’s not programmed for that, but his heart definitely does something when he sees the picture. And he sighs loudly when he sees the various missed calls and texts from Donna, Ethan and Mr. Ben Khalif. He should have been in his office since 7:30, answering those calls…

“Hey.”, he hears as he’s pulling up his pants.

Mike’s standing in the corridor. He’s put on a t-shirt and a pair of boxers and he doesn’t look awake at all.

“Hey.”, Harvey replies with a chuckle. “Did I wake you?”

“No…”, Mike drags himself to the living room and slumps onto the couch. “My vibrating thing did.”, he yawns.

“Your _vibrating thing_?”, Harvey burst out laughing.

“I meant my vibrating alarm clock.”, Mike straightens up and blushes. “I have this special thing, uh, _alarm clock_ that vibrates- What?!”, he stops and can’t help but laugh too.

“I’m sorry.”, Harvey manages to say as he tries to calm down. “I’m not making fun of you, I swear.”, he clears his throat and snorts. “I just… When you said… I couldn’t help…”, he covers his mouth and laughs again.

“I know.”, Mike chuckles. “I used a poor choice of words.”

Harvey shakes his head with a smile and grabs his dress shirt.

“Rachel was supposed to wake me this morning but she didn’t.”, he says, buttoning up. “Take a look.”, he grabs his phone and Rachel’s note and takes a couple of steps towards the living room to hand them to Mike.

Mike reads the note first and Harvey can tell he’s afraid to look at the phone because he’s biting his bottom lip.

“Oh.”, he says and quickly hands the note and phone back to Harvey who puts them away in his pants pocket before taking a seat next to him. “Coffee?”, he asks, reluctantly turning to Harvey.

“No, I have to go…”, Harvey sighs. “I still need to go home, shower and change… Woops.”, he takes his phone out of his pocket and Mike understands it’s ringing.

“Yep… No I haven’t… Tell him I’ll be there in an hour… What are you doing in my office anyway?...”, he rolls his eyes at Mike and mouths _Donna_. “I don’t care, get out and tell him I’ll be there in an hour, no don’t put him throu-“ “Good Morning Ethan.”, he sighs and Mike doesn’t get the rest of the conversation because Harvey’s gotten up and turned his back to him. He has no idea who Ethan is but he does seem to get on Harvey’s nerves.

Mike gets up from the couch and reheats the coffee pot. He watches Harvey get up and pace the living room and he catches a few sentences, a few words. “How am I supposed to…” “I never take vacations and it hasn’t killed me.” “No.”

A good 5 minutes later, Harvey finally hangs up and closes his eyes before sliding his phone back in his pocket and grabbing his jacket.

“Everything alright?”, Mike asks, pouring coffee into two cups. Harvey can surely take another 5 minutes to have coffee.

“Yeah…”, Harvey smiles. “My lazy assistant wants to take a two-week vacation starting next week.”

Mike shoots him a confused look and hands him a cup.

“Thanks.”, Harvey sighs and takes a sip.

“And you told him no?”

“Of course I told him no, I need him at the office, not on some boat trip with his girlfriend.”, Harvey scoffs and Mike seriously considers that he might be joking.

“You’re joking, right?”, he cocks his head to the side.

“No. I never joke about work.”, Harvey replies and quickly empties his cup.

Mike finds his own coffee still way too hot to drink but apparently, Harvey’s fine with scalding liquid burning his mouth and throat.

“Nah…”, Mike smiles playfully. “You’re messing with me.”

“What? No. Why?”

“You can’t tell him no because you need him, he has the right to take vacation time. I mean legally.”, Mike says.

“And how am I supposed to work if there’s no one to take my calls or organize my schedule?”, Harvey asks as if it’s the most valid question in the world.

“Oh my god!”, Mike starts laughing. “You really are not joking!”, he shakes his head and pokes Harvey in the shoulder. “Hire a temp.”

“Of course I’m not joking.”, Harvey rolls his eyes. “Temps are crap. Besides, I don’t have time to teach them how I work. I don’t want a temp, I want Ethan.”, he turns around and walks to the dining area to get his briefcase.

“You know you’ll have to let him go, you can’t legally refuse him that.”, Mike adds with a smile. “I wouldn’t want you to be my boss.”, he makes a face.

Harvey turns back around and smiles.

“I’d love for you to work for me.”, he says with a fond look. “Get a law degree, pass the Bar and I’ll hire you on the spot.”, he adds and once again, Mike thinks he has to be joking.

“Who’d want a deaf lawyer?”, he chuckles dryly because if it’s a joke, he doesn’t think it’s funny.

“I would.”, Harvey replies, stepping closer. “And not just because I like you.”, he smiles and takes Mike’s chin between his thumb and index before pressing a smooch on his lips. “You’d make a terrific lawyer.”

Mike gulps when Harvey steps back and he looks away after a moment, unable to hold Harvey’s unreadable gaze. He’s usually good at reading expressions on people’s face but he has no idea what this one means.

Harvey must have sensed his discomfort because he buttons up his jacket and takes his empty cup to the sink.

“I’ll text you after lunch for tonight.”, he says when their eyes meet again. “If you still want to go.”

“Yes of course.”, Mike nods with a weak smile.

“See you tonight, then.”, Harvey smiles back and Mike watches him walk to the front door.

_Harvey likes me._

 

 

“Hi, may I speak to Marissa, please?”, Harvey says, keeping his voice down because Ethan has a tendency to eavesdrop. At least that’s what he’s come to think because he seems to know way too many things about Harvey’s private life.

“Sure! May I ask who’s asking?”, the very enthusiastic receptionist asks.

“Harvey Specter, she, uh, she doesn’t know me, I’m calling on behalf of-“

“Hold on a second, Mr. Specter, I’ll put you through. Have a good day!”

“Okay, you too…”, Harvey mumbles, the call’s already been transferred anyway.

“This is Marissa.”

“Hey, good morning, I’m calling on behalf of Trevor Evans.”, Harvey explains, turning towards the window. “I’m calling about your evening ASL classes.”

“Oh yeah, how’s Trevor doing?”, Marissa asks cheerfully and Harvey wonders what kind of happy pill they all take for breakfast.

“He’s doing good, I guess, I saw him on Tuesday, he looked, um, fine.”, he stammers.

“Good, tell him I say hi next time you see him!”, she says and Harvey can _hear_ her smile. “Would the classes be for you?”

“Yes.”

“That’s great! May I ask why you’re interested in learning sign language?”

“I have this, uh, _friend_ who’s deaf and I’d like to know more about his… culture?”, Harvey replies.

“That’s great.”, Marissa replies. “And sweet if I may say. So, we have classes on Tuesdays and Fridays at 8pm. It’s one hour. Then we also have classes on weekends during the day, at 11 on Saturdays and 10 on Sundays.”

“8’s fine.”, Harvey nods.

“Great! Would you like to come tomorrow for a trial class?”, she asks. “It’s free.”

“Money’s not a problem. So, 8 tomorrow?”

“Ok, I’ll add your name on the list, what is it again?”

“Specter. S.P.E.C.T.E.R.”, he spells out.

“Okay.”, Marissa says. “Oh that’s funny! It’s an anagram for ‘respect’!”, she laughs. “Don’t mind me, I’m a linguist.”, she laughs again. “Alright Mr. Specter, I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Uh, yeah, thank you.”

“Have a great day!”

“You too. Bye.”, Harvey hangs up and snorts, wondering what this cheerful and very friendly woman looks like.

 

 

Donna is fidgeting in her chair.

Rachel texted her around noon to give the address of the restaurant where she had booked a table and to tell her she’d meet her there.

 _There’s something wrong_. First, she hasn’t called her once since she left her apartment on Tuesday, she’s only sent very short texts. Second, she said she needed to talk to her. Donna’s been thinking about this all night and all morning, she barely had any work done, and she has no idea what this could be about. For all she knows, things are going great between them, she’s happy with Rachel. Happier than she ever thought she could be after what happened with Lisa. She seriously doubted that she would ever find someone else she’d trust with her heart. It went really fast with Rachel, she knows it’s crazy but if asked, she’d have to admit she’s in love with her.

Maybe Rachel’s sick, maybe that’s what’s wrong. Maybe she’s found a job in another state or even worse, overseas… _Please, no_ , _let it be anything else but that, I can’t lose her_ , she mentally prays, clearing her throat for the hundredth time. She hasn’t ordered anything, she doesn’t feel like drinking, she doesn’t even feel like eating.

When Rachel finally enters the restaurant, she’s looking down, tired and… sad. Her jaw’s clenched tight and she doesn’t smile to the waiter who points at the table where Donna’s sitting, causing Donna’s stomach to clench even tighter in her chest. Rachel always smiles.

“Hey.”, she says when she arrives at the table.

“Hey.”, Donna smiles and swallows thickly. “You look beautiful.”, she adds because even though she looks tired, she looks beautiful, as always.

“Thank you.”, Rachel clears her throat and sits down. “I’m going to need a drink.”, she purses her lips and looks around for the waiter.

It’s even worse than Donna thought, Rachel won’t even look at her.

“Do you want a drink?”, she asks when the waiter comes to take their order and Donna just shakes her head. Maybe she’ll need one, two, three or more after lunch. Once Rachel’s told her what has her looking so sad and upset.

Rachel orders a martini and she takes a deep breath and looks up from her plate.

“There’s something I need to ask you.”, she says in a very small voice.

“Sure.”, Donna tries to smile.

“The other day…”, Rachel exhales sharply. “At the restaurant when told me about Jane’s pregnancy you, uh…”, she clears her throat. “… you said you weren’t _into kids_ and…”, she licks her lips and looks away. “Does it mean you don’t want kids?”

Donna’s heart skips a beat. She knows exactly where this is heading. Harvey had told her she should mention it on her Match.com profile.

“I…”, she swallows and god, her throat is so tight it hurts. “No, I don’t.”, she says but it’s barely a whisper.

Rachel nods and ducks her head and, of course, the waiter comes back with her drink at that exact moment.

“Thanks.”, she says in a painfully high-pitched voice. Her eyes are filled with tears.

“You do?”, Donna asks because she needs to say something.

Rachel downs her glass in one gulp and looks back at her.

“Yes.”, she nods and two tears fall from her eyes. “Very much so.”

It’s Donna’s turn to look away and no, she’s not going to cry. She’s a strong, confident and successful lawyer, and strong, confident and successful lawyers don’t cry in restaurant. Even when their heart breaks.

It’s way worse than any of the options she’d come up with. Rachel’s not going anywhere, she just doesn’t want to be with her anymore. It’s amazing how fast you can get attached to a person, how fast your imagination builds up scenarios for the future, how fast you fall in love. But what’s even more amazing is how fast your heart can break, how quickly it explodes in your chest, how fast the broken pieces start to spread around, cutting your insides. 10 seconds, maybe 5, that’s all it takes for your entire body to register the hurt.

“I’m so sorry…”, Rachel sobs. “I… I can’t give that up, I…”, she closes her eyes and bows her head.

Donna swallows, or at least she tries, because it’s hard to swallow when you feel like throwing up. She clears her throat and gets up.

“I love you…”, she whispers, straightens up and walks away.

 

Harvey just got off the phone with Paul who wanted to make sure he and Mike were still coming tonight.

He’s dreading this dinner for many reasons, the greatest being that Paul referred to them as “boyfriends” and it scares the hell out of Harvey. Sure, he hasn’t slept with anyone since his night with Ella and the thought of going out and taking someone home hasn’t even crossed his mind. Mike’s all he thinks about. And that’s the scary part. He’s only had two real “boyfriends”, Sasha and Alex.

He was 18 when he met Sasha at Paul’s birthday party and they stayed together for 2 years. It was Sasha who introduced him the infamous filmmakers because Harvey needed money for a car. Sasha was his first male experience, the one who helped Harvey confirmed that he was bi. He broke up with him when Sasha entered rehab for drug addiction, after two chaotic years he’d prefer not to remember. Then he got into Harvard and focused on his studies while making room for the occasional hook up, with both men and women. It got a little out of hand when he graduated, when money started to pour out of nowhere and he’s not really proud of the risks he took back then. Unprotected sex with a new partner almost every night, crack and various other drugs, way too much drinking… It was Donna who sounded the alarm, who made him realize the consequences his actions could have on his job performance and reputation. He dated Lucy for a while after that, but what she doesn’t know is that he wasn’t really faithful, so he doesn’t consider what they had a “relationship”. Then he met Alex when buying his first condo and settled down.

Though he doesn’t want to go back to those careless years (he now always wears protection and has sworn off drugs except for the _very_ occasional joint), settling down hasn’t proved very successful or fulfilling either. He doesn’t really _want_ a “boyfriend”. But he wants Mike, though he can’t figure out why this young man makes him feel that way. Not that Harvey usually shies away from people, he doesn’t. He likes people, likes to manipulate them, to get exactly what he wants from them. He clicks with someone, develops an interest in that person, takes him or her home, fucks them and considers his mission accomplished. Diversity and spontaneity have always been his two rules in terms of dating. And obviously, it doesn’t really match the definition of a relationship.

Maybe he only wants Mike because nobody’s had him before? Maybe he just needs to fuck him and then his slightly annoying obsession will disappear?

“What’s up Don’?”, he says when he picks up his cell phone, glad for the distraction.

“Can you meet me in the park?”, Donna asks and Harvey covers his left ear because he has trouble hearing her.

“In the park? Now?”, he frowns. “I’m in the middle of something right now, can’t you-“

“Rachel broke up with me.”, Donna cuts him and sniffs.

“Oh no…”, Harvey sighs. “I’ll be right down.”, he says and hangs up. “Ethan!”, he calls and his young assistant’s at his door seconds later.

“Yes?”, he asks.

“Hold my calls, I have to go take care of something and I don’t know when I’ll be back again.”, Harvey replies, putting on his jacket. “Oh, and I’m leaving at 6 tonight.”, he adds, grabbing his cell phone and wallet. “So, you can leave at 6 as well.”

“Okay but… um.”, Ethan nods. “About my vacation-“

“We’ll talk about this when I come back or tomorrow.”, Harvey cuts him and brushes past him, bumping his shoulder.

“Alright…”, Ethan sighs and walks back to his desk.

 

“ _We’re expected in court at 11am._ ”, Scott signs. “ _I need you to be there._ ”, he looks at Trevor. “ _But anyone who wants to can come and sit in the room._ ”

“ _Will you come?_ ”, Trevor signs, throwing Mike an anxious look.

Mike nods with a smile.

“ _Mr. Rodrigues is out of state, he can’t attend the hearing._ ”, Scott signs with an encouraging smile. “ _It’s good for us, it will show the judge that he doesn’t care about the association. I will need one of you to take the stand, though, to explain what you do at Hope._ ”

Trevor doesn’t hesitate a second and points at Mike.

“ _Hey you’re the president!_ ”, Mike signs with a smile.

“Okay.”, Scott steps in. “ _Strategically speaking, if it’s you who takes the stand, Mike, I’ll need you to sign, not speak. It’ll make a greater impact on the judge._ ”

“ _Please._ ”, Trevor rubs his hand across his sternum.

“ _Fine._ ”, Mike rolls his eyes.

They spend another hour discussing what’s going to happen, what Scott expects Mike to say and when, how he hopes it will play out. He tells them he’s hired a translator and Mike asks him if he’ll help them appeal if the judge doesn’t rule in their favor. Scott replies that of course he’ll help them but he hopes they won’t have to get there.

 

Harvey and Donna are sitting on a bench in the park around the corner from the firm, pretending to be sipping on a coffee. It’s ran cold and neither of them seem to want to drink it, they both fidget with their paper cup while looking at the people passing by.

Donna hasn’t said much. “ _I told her I didn’t want kids._ ”

Harvey knows Donna doesn’t, though she’s never given him any reason for that, she always says that she “just doesn’t want kids”. Something Harvey can relate to, as he’s giving it some thought himself and he doesn’t think he wants kids either. He’s not sure, he cannot be as he cannot conceive nor carry a child. He just doesn’t see himself raising a little boy or girl. Let alone a teenager. _Duh_. But he loves kids, he loves their openness and candid view on life. And kids usually love him. Take Gerald and Julie’s 5-year old daughter, Mandy, for example. She calls him uncle Harvey and won’t leave his side whenever he comes to visit. He listens to her cute stories (the real ones and the ones she makes up) and though he’s not a very affectionate person, he lets her cuddle him and cover his cheeks with kisses.

“We should go back.”, Donna finally says and gets up. “How about dinner tonight at my place?”, she offers with a smile.

“I’m having dinner with Mike at my brother's but I can-“

“No.”, Donna cuts him. “Go, have fun, let’s have dinner sometime this weekend.”, she smiles. “How’s it going with Mike?”

“How’s what going with Mike?”, Harvey raises an eyebrow.

“Oh come on…”, she rolls her eyes and pokes him in the ribs. “I know you slept with him last night. Rachel told me.”, she says, throwing her cup in a trashcan. “So did you sleep with him or did you _sleep_ with him?”, she smirks.

“He snored and I tried to sleep. Does that answer your question?”, Harvey replies, finishing his cold beverage.

“I guess…”, Donna sighs and for a moment she debates whether or not to tell him Mike’s a virgin but she decides not to. He’ll know it soon enough. What she finds surprising, though, is that they apparently still haven’t gotten to second base. Very unlike Harvey…

She doesn’t want to pressure him into telling her more than he’s willing to. She knows Harvey doesn’t like talking about his feelings, she knows he doesn’t even like _thinking_ about them. When things got rocky with Alex, it was Alex who confided in her, not Harvey.

Donna still hasn’t processed what happened two hours ago with Rachel. It’s in the back of her mind and she knows it’s undoubtedly going to come back to the forefront once she finds herself alone at her place tonight, which is why she invited Harvey. She isn’t sure she’s ready to face her feelings yet. She’s not ready to cry. Rachel wasn’t already part of her life in the practical sense of the term. She’s known her for a month tops and met her in person barely two weeks ago. They haven’t had time to create memories together (even if she’s always treasure the weekend they spent at the Hamptons) so it’s not like Rachel’s disappearance from her life is going to leave a huge empty space. But it’s clearly leaving an enormous and sad and desolate spot in her heart.

“Thanks for… being here.”, she turns around and smiles at Harvey before walking to her office.

She’ll deal with this later. She can’t apparently be a good girlfriend but she can be a kickass lawyer. Thank god it’s only Thursday…

 

 

When Mike comes home around 6 to get ready (Harvey texted him to say he’d come pick him up at 7 _sharp_ ), he’s surprised to find Rachel’s shoes and briefcase in the hallway. Maybe Frank let her go earlier to thank for her good work on the case Mike helped solve yesterday?

He takes off his jacket and quickly unlaces his shoes before walking to the living room to check if Rachel’s there. When he doesn’t see her, he heads for her bedroom, knocks at the door and waits. And waits. Maybe she didn’t hear him so he knocks again. _And waits_. He knows she’s home, her keys are on the kitchen counter. Something must be wrong if she doesn’t want to see him. Maybe she talked to Donna… He purses his lips as he imagines her lying on her bed crying… Or maybe she’s asleep and didn’t hear him. He knocks again, harder and longer and the door finally opens, revealing a disheveled, devastated and crying Rachel.

“ _I can’t talk right now._ ”, she signs and Mike’s heart drops in his chest. God he hates to see her cry. He hates to see people cry in general but Rachel is the worst, it just breaks his heart.

“ _Let’s not talk then._ ”, he signs with a sad smile and pulls her into a tight hug.

He’s dying to ask her what’s going on but she’s just told him she can’t talk so he does what he can to let her know he’s here. He has a hard time keeping the tears at bay when she literally breaks down in his arms and starts shaking.

He can feel her heart racing against his chest and her ragged breath in the crook of his neck and he suddenly he can’t hold it anymore. He buries his face in her neck and lets his tears fall.

 

 

Harvey’s a little late because he argued with Ethan for about an hour about the vacation thing (he, of course, ended up granting him the two weeks if he could find a temp in time) and was called by Louis for an emergency just as he was about to leave.

He rings the bells and waits for a while. When the door remains unanswered for about a minute (let it never be said that Harvey Specter isn’t a patient man), he considers texting Mike. He’s about to take out his phone when the door finally opens.

“Sorry.”, Mike says, running a hand through his hair.

His eyes are red-rimmed and puffy and there’s a tissue in his hand.

“Is everything alright?”, Harvey asks, coming in when Mike moves to the side.

“Yeah.”, Mike nods with a smile. “Sorry, I got caught up in something and I totally forgot to check the time.”, he sniffs.

“It’s okay, I’m late too.”, Harvey smiles. “Um, if you don’t feel like going… I mean, I can go alone.”

“No, no, no.”, Mike shakes his head. “I want to go, I just need to go change, I’ll be right back. Make yourself at home.”, he says before walking to his bedroom.

Harvey doesn’t know what to think, he really hopes Mike isn’t forcing himself to go. He’s a bit speechless by what he just saw, Mike’s always laughing and smiling and to see him looking so upset kind of threw Harvey off. He remembers the last time he cried. When his mum died. It was both the first time in a long time and the last time and he’s pretty sure he destroyed his tear duct that day. Crying people make him uncomfortable, he never knows what to say to them, he sucks at comforting people, or so he’s often told.

Rachel walking to the kitchen pulls him out of his thoughts. She looks even worse than Mike.

“Hey.”, she manages a smile and goes straight to the sink where she pours herself a glass of water, visibly not expecting a reply.

Harvey thinks he understands. She must have been crying because of Donna. That doesn’t explain why Mike had been crying, though.

“Did you…”, he clears his throat and when Rachel looks at him he regrets having opened his mouth. But now he’s started, he better finish his sentence. “um, tell Franck about what we’ve found yesterday? About the contracts?”

“Yeah.”, Rachel empties the rest of her glass in the sink. “He was impressed. He asked if it was you who found the mistake.”, she smiles. “I said that it was a team effort. I didn’t want to tell him that I let my roommate sneak a peek in confidential papers but then he started to say that I had outdone myself and stuff like that and it made me feel _really_ bad, so I confessed.”

“As long as the client’s happy, I’m sure Frank doesn’t mind.”, Harvey nods with a smile.

“Yeah, that’s basically what he said.”, she smiles again and exhales deeply. “So, you and Mike are having dinner with your brother?”

“Yeah. He never invites me but I guess he liked Mike when he met him the other day.”

“Everybody likes Mike.”, Rachel says and with that, her face suddenly lights up.

“I’m ready!”, Mike says, or rather _yells_ , when he comes in the room, startling them both.

“Good.”, Harvey turns around and smiles. “Let’s go.”

“Have fun.”, Rachel waves with a smile that fades as soon as she hears the front door shut.

She grabs a bottle of wine and a glass and settles on the couch. She doesn’t feel like watching TV, she doesn’t feel like eating, she doesn’t feel like _anything_. Except crying. Yes, she can do that.

She hadn’t expected Donna to just walk away without a fight. She had hoped Donna would have asked if she could think about it, if they could talk about it. “ _I love you…_ ” keeps playing in her head and it’s not fair because it’s not a goodbye. Why did Donna wait for them to break up to tell her that she loved her? It’s not a goodbye, it’s a “that’s a shame” and it’s not fair.

 

Harvey buckles up and places a hand on Mike’s thigh.

“I don’t want to be nosy or anything but was Rachel crying because she broke up with Donna?”, Harvey asks when Mike turns to him.

Mike nods with a sad pout.

“Donna’s very upset as well.”, Harvey continues. “It’s a shame, they seemed really happy with each other.”

“Yeah.”, Mike whispers and looks away.

Harvey nods to himself and starts the engine. Apparently, Mike doesn’t want to talk about it.

“We’re going to court at 11 tomorrow.”, Mike turns around and gives him a small smile. “I’m going to take the stand. Scott made me rehearse my speech.”

“Are you anxious?”, Harvey asks, turning to him for a second so he can read his lips.

“A little bit.”

“You’re going to do just fine.”, Harvey says but when he doesn’t get a reaction, he realizes Mike’s turned to look at the road.

They don’t speak for the rest of the ride.

 

Harvey finds a parking spot a block away from his brother’s apartment building and Mike seems to come back to reality when he’s done parking and stops the engine. He turns to look at Harvey and smiles.

“I love Greenwich Village.”, he says.

“Well, Paul lives in a very cool building but when you see what he’s done with his place, you’re not going to believe your eyes.”, Harvey chuckles. “Just wait and see.”, he adds when Mike frowns. “This way.”

They start walking and Mike takes out his phone to snaps a couple of pictures.

“I’m always amazed by how much these streets look like film sets.”, he chuckles. “Everything’s so clean!”

Harvey nods with a smile and stops to let Mike take his pictures.

“He didn’t say if Liz, his girlfriend was going to be there. She’s a very nice girl.”, he says when Mike’s done.

The building is indeed very cool. It’s an old traditional red brick 7-storey building which looks like it’s been completely renovated. They’re welcomed by a grumpy-looking young man who barely looks up when they step inside the lobby, and Mike thinks he probably mistook Harvey for Paul.

Harvey knocks on the first door on the ground floor.

“You’re late.”, Paul says with a smile when he opens the door.

“I know, sorry about that.”, Harvey replies.

“Welcome to my home!”, Paul grins at Mike. “I’m so glad you could come!”

“Thanks for having me.”, Mike replies shyly.

“Hey!”, a tall and smiling black woman appears in the lobby.

“Hey Liz.”, Harvey hugs her.

“You must be Mike.”, she extends her hand and Mike shakes it with a nod. “Very nice to meet you, I’m Liz.”

“Nice to meet you too.”, Mike replies with a smile.

“Come on guys, don’t stand there, come on in!”, Paul calls from the living room.

Harvey urges Mike to move further into the apartment with a firm hand on the small of his back and when he steps into the living room, a large, high-ceiling room, Mike understands what Harvey meant. The place is total mess. Piles of books and guitars are literally lying around _everywhere_ but on the shelves that occupy one of the four walls. These shelves are full of CDs and vinyl. Next to the couch, under the coffee table... there must be about 500 books scattered around the room. Every piece of furniture looks vintage, old but not damaged. The living room opens to a patio or a garden, Mike’s not sure, but he spots a table with four chairs and burning candles.

“Let’s go outside.”, Liz says and Harvey’s about to repeat it for Mike when she turns around with a smile and signs something. It’s not as graceful, as fluid as what Harvey’s seen Mike or Rachel do but Mike signs back with a surprised smile and they follow her through the plate glass window to a nice well-groomed little garden.

“How did you know?”, Mike asks when Liz motions for them to take a seat around the table.

“Paul told me.”, she replies. “He wasn’t 100% sure, though.”, she smiles. “I would never have guessed if he hadn’t told me.”, she smiles, clearly impressed.

“Paul did what again?”, Paul asks, joining them, a tray with bottles, glasses and food in his hand. “I don’t like when people talk behind my back.”

“Yeah, just like you don’t like when we’re not talking about you.”, Liz shakes her head with a smile and gets up to help him. “I was telling Mike you told me he was deaf.”

“Why didn’t you say anything at the bar the other day?”, Harvey asks after he’s made sure Mike’s paying attention.

“What was I supposed to say?”, he picks up a crisp and sits down. “ _Hey Mike, are you deaf or what?_ ”, he laughs and Mike snorts. “I wasn’t even sure.”

“How do you know sign language?”, Mike asks Liz.

“I’m with the SWAT, just like Paul, though not on the field anymore. We all had to learn to sign during our training, you never know what you’ll have to deal with when you’re called on an intervention.”, she explains. “You certainly don’t have time to call a translator if you have to negotiate with a deaf person.”

“You know sign language too?”, Harvey asks Paul.

“’Course I do.”, Paul scoffs. “I’ve never had to use it but we have an evaluation every year to make sure it's still on point.”, he straightens up and signs something to which Mike replies with a grin.

They sign for a couple of minutes and Harvey’s a little envious of Paul. There’s something his brother can share with Mike that he cannot. He can’t wait to start learning though what he sees kind of scares him, it looks so different, so foreign, so complicated…

“You’re very good!”, Mike smiles and Harvey’s not just envious, he’s jealous. And he doesn’t like that.

“Nah, I’m just okay, I always barely pass the thing but they’re nice about it because I’m an awesome captain.”, Paul wiggles his eyebrows. “Ask Liz, she was on my team.”, he points at Liz who rolls her eyes. “I’m the best captain you’ve ever had, right?”

“You’re a pain in the ass, Paul. That’s what you are.”, she chuckles.

“Okay, _maybe_ , but I’m your pain in the ass.”, he grins and leans in for a kiss.

Mike doesn’t understand the last part but he gets that Paul made a joke which deserved a kiss and he can’t help a fond smile.

“God, we’re such bad hosts!”, Liz exclaims. “What do you guys want to drink?”, she asks.

“Wine’s fine.”, Harvey replies with a smile and Mike all but shouts a enthusiastic “Me too! Thanks.”

Harvey’s glad Paul keeps his mouth shut because it would be much like him to make a remark.

“How long have you known each other?”, Liz asks, handing Mike a glass.

“Uh, two… two weeks.”, Mike replies.

“Wow!”, Paul grins. “Looks like we’ve got a winner here! Congratulations on making it past the first night!”, he raises his own glass.

“Paul…”, Liz turns to him and shoots him a pointed look.

Mike takes a quick glance at Harvey who looks like he’s biting his tongue, desperately trying to keep his cool. _Of course_ , he thinks. The only reason he’s here tonight, the only reason why it lasted more than one night is because they still haven’t had their one night. The thought makes him a little sick to his stomach but he puts on a brave face and returns Paul’s playful smile.

 

 

Donna’s lying on her couch watching the strong and confident and _independent_ women of Sex and the City talk about how they don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy when she thinks she hears a knock on her door.

She jerks up and grabs her phone. 10:46pm. Who the hell could it be? She sighs at the empty bottle of wine and ice cream jar on the coffee table and jumps when she hears another knock.

“Coming!”, she exclaims and clears her throat.

 _Fuck_ , she thinks. She’s just come out of the shower, is wearing what are probably her most comfortable but also ugliest pajamas with no bra and her hair isn’t even brushed.

She pads to the front door and takes a look through the peephole. She curses under her breath and takes a deep breath before opening the door.

Rachel’s standing on her doormat, looking every bit as beautiful as she always does except for the redness around her eyes and nose.

“Hey.”, Donna says in a very small she almost doesn’t recognize as her own.

“Can I come in?”, Rachel asks and rubs her nose.

“Sure.”, Donna swallows thickly and moves to the side to let her in.

She shuts the door and quickly checks herself in the mirror she’s placed above a small counter in the entryway. She looks awful, barefaced and old and tired. _Great_.

“Want a drink?”, she asks, walking past Rachel to clear the coffee table.

“No, thank you.”, Rachel shakes her head with a sad smile. “Can I sit?”

“Of course.”, Donna nods and walks to the kitchen to trash the ice cream jar and put away the bottle. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting you or anybody, it’s a… little messy.”, she says, coming back to the living room. “I’m not even dressed, I-“

“No, I’m sorry for barging here without warning you.”, Rachel cuts her. “I was tired of crying so I went for a walk and I ended up in your neighborhood.”, she says as Donna takes a seat on the couch, as far away as she can from her.

She grabs the remote and turns off the TV. They stay silent for a moment, Rachel looking down at her hands, Donna trying to come with something to say.

“I love you too.”, Rachel finally looks up and says, her eyes filled with tears and it takes Donna a moment to realize she’s replying to what she told her before leaving the restaurant. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you that…”, she sobs. “Mike said I should let you know. He says you should always let someone know they’re loved, even if it hurts.”, she sniffs. “I… I don’t know how I’m supposed to stop loving you.”, she licks her lips and wipes her nose.

Donna doesn’t know what to say, she doesn’t have an answer to that. She still hasn’t shed a tear, she’s saving the crying fest for the weekend, for when she’s got enough time to cry her eyes out and recover. But seeing Rachel like that, being confronted to her own feelings, her own sadness, she finds it hard to keep her emotions at bay.

“I don’t think…”, she says and clears her throat. “I don’t think I’m the one you should go to for comfort. I mean…”, she leans in and places a hand on Rachel’s knee. “I can’t help you, I can’t tell you how to feel better because I don’t know myself.”, she says and bites her bottom lip when she feels her eyes filling up with tears. _Crying isn’t helping, Don’. Not now._

“What are we supposed to do now?”, Rachel gets up and shakes her head. “Forget we ever met?”, she asks, her voice cracking.

Donna swallows thickly and looks away. She hadn’t planned on discussing it with Rachel, she had planned on spending the night binge watching Sex and the City with a glass/bottle of wine and ice cream. She had planned on ignoring the nagging feeling in her stomach for now, certainly not on having to watch a distressed Rachel pace the carpet of her living room looking for answers.

“I don’t know…”, she replies, ducking her head.

“Are you even sad?”, Rachel asks, causing her to look up. She looks angry all of a sudden.

“Of course I’m sad, Rach’.”

“Why did you leave? Why didn’t you…”, she inhales sharply. “Why didn’t you ask me if we could talk about it, if there was a chance I would…?”, she sniffs and pauses. “I shouldn’t have come, I’m sorry.”, she says when Donna doesn’t answer. “I’m sorry.”, she repeats and heads for the door.

Donna closes her eyes and exhales deeply when the front door shuts. This time there’s nothing she can do to stop two fat tears from rolling down her cheeks.

 

 

“Thank you very much.”, Harvey says, hugging Liz. “Dinner was delicious.”

“Thank you for coming, we should hang out more often.”, she smiles. “Very nice meeting you Mike.”, she turns to Mike and hugs him.

“You guys sure you don’t want take some leftovers home?”, Paul calls from the kitchen.

“We’re good! Thanks.”, Harvey replies.

“Have a good night.”, Liz smiles.

“She’s really nice.”, Mike says as they make their way back to the street.

“Yeah, they’ve been dating for two years.”, Harvey replies, turning around to make sure Mike can see his face. “I hope he stays with her, she’s good for him.”

Harvey likes her, she’s straightforward, kind and smart, plus she’s really good at boxing. She seems to tame his brother and god knows he needs to be tamed, he needs someone who can tell him when to shut the hell up and she has no problem doing that. And she seems to love him very much so hopefully Paul doesn’t let her go like he did all his other girlfriends.

“It’s not that late.”, he says, looking at his watch when they stop in front of the car. “Would you like a drink or something?”

“Sure.”, Mike smiles.

“Is my place okay?”

Mike thinks he knows what that means, he remembers very well what happened the last time they were there, _before_ he balled everything up by panicking. He doesn’t want to break their little bubble, he doesn’t want that first and last night with Harvey. Well, that’s not entirely true, he does want that, he wants Harvey. But he knows that once he’s had him, Harvey won’t call him again, they won’t go to dinner together again, he’ll lose him. But how long is Harvey willing to wait? How long is Mike willing to pretend that what they have isn’t hanging by a thread? Let’s rip off the bandage. Let’s have fun for a night. If that’s all Mike can have from Harvey, he’ll take it. He’s waited for that moment long enough, he’s waited for someone to want him long enough. So he agrees.

“Yeah”, he says with a smile. 

 

The car ride back to Harvey’s silent, it’s not easy trying to have a conversation while driving and Mike’s grateful for the opportunity to rest for a while after a very nice but tiring dinner.

“Good evening, Mr. Specter.”, the doorman greets them with a nod.

“Good evening, Ron.”, Harvey replies.

Mike tries to keep his cool, but the truth is that he’s beginning to freak out. He remembers the last time he was here, he remembers how Harvey kissed him in the elevator and though the perspective is exciting, it’s also fucking scary. _It’s happening_.

Harvey doesn’t look exactly relaxed either, which helps Mike feel a little better. He clumsily drops his keys in front of the elevator glass doors and it takes him two attempts to finally unlock the cabin and get it to move.

Mike watches through the glass as the trees and cars and people become smaller and he nearly jumps when the cabin stops.

Harvey steps out without a word and disappears in the hallway and, seconds later, the whole apartment lights up.

“Come in.”, Harvey says with a smile, dropping his keys in a bowl on a small counter.

Mike follows him inside the living room and takes a moment to appraise his surroundings. He didn’t really have time to do that, wasn't in the right mindset to do that when Rachel came to pick him up on that fateful night.

“You have got a beautiful place.”, he says, his eyes wandering around the room, setting on the cozy black and white living room, on the white grand piano by the window.

“Thank you.”, Harvey replies, taking off his jacket. He knows Mike didn’t see his response but he guesses he wasn’t waiting for one since he didn’t turn to look at him.

“Take a seat.”, he says, brushing Mike’s arm and pointing at the couch. “What do you want to drink? I have beers, scotch, sparkling water… um…”, he purses his lips and thinks. “I’m afraid I don’t have what it takes to make a mojito.”, he smiles.

“Sparking water’s fine, thank you.”, Mike replies with a smile.

Harvey nods and walks to the kitchen to get the water and a glass. He’s not really sure about what he wants. No, he knows what he _wants_ , of course he does, and it’s too see Mike fall apart in his bed. He’s just not sure it’s the right time, not sure how to proceed, not sure it’s what Mike wants.

“There.”, he says, placing two bottles and glasses on the coffee table. He better stick to water.

“Do you play?”, Mike asks, pointing at the piano.

“I used to.”, Harvey replies. “Our parents wanted us to learn about music and my brother and I had to pick an instrument. He picked the guitar, I picked the piano.”, he explains. “Haven’t played in ages.”, he lies, because he still sometimes sits at the piano and plays. He just doesn’t think he’s any good anymore.

“Oh, okay…”, Mike nods and Harvey doesn’t miss the slight bob of his Adam’s apple nor the way his eyes linger on his mouth.

That’s all Harvey needed, these two little barely perceptible signs are all Harvey was waiting for. He leans in and crushes their mouths together, causing Mike to let out a surprised noise. He chuckles against Mike’s mouth and moves a hand to the back of Mike’s neck to pull him closer before sliding his tongue in his mouth.

The small whines and moans Mike makes in response to that go straight to Harvey’s cock and he squeezes the back of Mike’s neck as his other hand slides under his t-shirt, coming into contact with deliciously warm and soft skin. He pulls at Mike, urging him to climb onto his lap he can’t help a long shameless moan when Mike’s groin brushes against his clothes half-hard cock. _God_. He grabs Mike’s ass with both hands and bites at his bottom lip.

“Bedroom.”, he orders breathlessly when they pull apart for air.

“Sorry, what?”, Mike asks, his eyes half shut, lips glistening and swollen.

“Let’s take this to the bedroom.”, Harvey bucks his hips up against Mike groin.

“Okay…”, Mike nods. “Okay.”

Mike gets up from his lap and Harvey takes his hand to lead him to the bedroom, making sure to switch on the lights when they get there. He doesn’t give Mike time to appreciate the room, he grabs his hips, turns him around and pushes him on the bed.

“Let’s concentrate on getting you naked.”, he smirks and Mike swallows thickly.

He’s seen Mike naked, front and back, it makes what's happening now different from what he’s used to. This is usually his favorite part, the moment he gets to discover what’s underneath his chosen bed partner’s clothes.

He motions for Mike to move further up on the bed and straddles his hips before leaning down for a kiss. He can feel Mike’s rock hard cock through the fabric of his jeans and pushes against it, eliciting more beautiful moans.

“Sit up.”, he speaks against Mike lips then gets up and repeats when he realizes Mike hasn't see him.  

He already knows exactly what’s underneath Mike’s jeans and t-shirt and still, it feels like he’s seeing it for the first time when he pulls Mike’s t-shirt over his head, revealing a skinny and flushed chest. Harvey smiles mischievously before leaning in and devouring Mike’s neck. He feels fingers fumbling with the buttons of his shirt as his own hands roam over Mike’s back. When Mike’s hands finally touch his ribs, barely brushing his skin, his breath hitches and he starts nipping at Mike’s collarbone, all the while rubbing their erections together.

“Harvey…”, Mike whines and Harvey starts licking his way from Mike’s neck to his mouth.

He moves his hand to Mike’s belt and unbuttons his jeans. It’s not an ideal position to get undressed so Harvey breaks the kiss, causing Mike to whine and open his eyes.

“The quicker you get naked the quicker I can kiss you again.”, Harvey challenges with a playful smile and throws his shirt on the floor.

Mike props himself on his knees and unzips his jeans with trembling hands, his eyes never leaving Harvey’s.

“You…”, he exhales shakily. “You’re gorgeous.”, he swallows and pulls down his jeans and boxers in one swift motion.

Harvey smiles, realizing that contrary to him, Mike hasn’t seen him naked before.

“You’re not so bad yourself.”, he smirks, throwing the rest of his clothes on the floor.

It’s a gross understatement and he knows it but he can see how tense and probably very anxious Mike is and he wants to help him relax. Yes, it’s a gross understatement because Mike isn’t just “not too bad”, he isn’t even “gorgeous”, he’s downright _eatable_. And if Harvey has already seen him naked, he’s never seen him aroused and _fuck_ , it’s a sight to behold.

Harvey crawls back towards Mike, who has lain back down on the bed, and kneels between his parted and bent legs.

“Good?”, he asks, because even though he doesn’t want to put too much emphasis on the fact that he knows it’s a first for Mike, he still wants to make sure he’s alright.

Mike nods jerkily and Harvey lowers himself down on Mike and brings their lips together.

What he feels when their naked bodies are pressed together is a first for Harvey. It’s like they’re not two people anymore, like they’re one entity and they aren’t even doing anything besides kissing. He moves his hands up to Mike’s and laces their fingers together when he feels Mike’s cock twitch between their bodies.

“Fuck.”, he hisses, breaking the kiss to bury his face in the crook of Mike’s neck. “You feel so good…”, he whispers, too aroused, too absorbed to realize that Mike can’t hear him.

Mike is moaning and writhing under him, rubbing their cocks together, arching his back, crushing Harvey’s fingers.

Harvey needs to move, he needs to separate himself from Mike or he’s going to come just from the sensations, from Mike’s moans and he doesn’t want that. So he kneels back up and gives his own cock a couple of lazy stroke, pressing at the base, and leans down to kiss Mike’s chest.

Mike smells good and he tastes a little salty and Harvey starts kissing and licking and caressing every inch of Mike’s skin. Nobody’s ever done that to Mike, nobody’s ever tasted Mike, nobody’s ever _touched_ Mike and that thought is so arousing he has to stop for a moment, resting his forehead just above Mike’s belly button.

“You’re mine.”, he mouths against Mike’s skin, reaching out a hand to Mike’s neck.

Harvey likes to talk during sex, he likes to praise his lovers, to encourage them, to order them around. And he likes to be talked to. The problem with Mike, he realizes just now, is that unless he moves from whatever position they’re in so Mike can see his face, he cannot talk to him. And that would kind of kill the spontaneity of the thing…

When he feels like he’s regained enough power over his impending orgasm, he looks up. Mike’s head is thrown back in the pillow and he’s moaning loudly. Okay, so maybe Mike won’t talk to him and won’t hear him when he talks dirty to him but he could hear him moan like that for the rest of his life.

Grabbing his own cock, he resumes his kissing and lets out a low growl when his mouth reaches the head of Mike’s cock, when he feels the salty precome oozing from it, when he smells the musky scent. He lets go of Mike’s neck and wraps his hand around Mike’s leaking cock before guiding it to his mouth.

“Oh god!”, Mike all but yells, arching his back, pushing his cock deep into Harvey’s mouth.

 _Oh god indeed_ , Harvey thinks, tasting Mike’s precome, tasting Mike’s cock, reveling in the fact that, again, nobody’s done that before. And you never forget your first head. Mike will always remember the feel of Harvey’s tongue against the sensitive spot right under the head of his cock, the feel of Harvey’s lips along its length, the warmth of Harvey’s mouth greedily swallowing him whole.

Harvey can feel Mike’s close so he gives his cock one last long lick and kneels back up, he doesn’t want Mike to come just yet.

“Harvey.”, Mike’s eyes jerk open and he shoots him a quizzical and somewhat reproachful look to which Harvey replies with a playful smirk before licking his lips greedily.

“You’re fucking amazing, you know that?”, he says, grabbing Mike’s cock and stroking it. “I can’t believe nobody’s done that to you before.”, he shakes his head before letting go of Mike’s cock and leaning forward. “You’re _mine_.”, he growls and captures Mike’s mouth for yet another wet and passionate kiss.

Harvey feels it, the moment Mike’s body tenses, the moment Mike stops breathing, the moment Mike climaxes, releasing two, three, four spurts of hot come between their body. Harvey feels the shudder travelling from Mike's chest to his toes, like a wave crashing on the shore, and he hears it too, the long and impossibly loud cry Mike lets out against Harvey’s parted lips.

“Harvey!”

It’s like they’re one whole again, like they’ve merged together and when Harvey feels Mike’s cock twitch and release one last spurt of come, when Mike’s voice cracks, he cannot contain his orgasm anymore, there’s nothing he can do to stop it and he reaches a hand between their bodies and wraps his fingers around their cocks. He wants Mike to feel it, he needs Mike to know what he did to him.

“Fuck Mike.”, he squeezes his eyes shut as his trembling hand spreads his come over their cocks.

With a long, spent and breathless moan, he moves to the side so Mike can breathe and covers his eyes with an arm. It’s been a long time since he’s had such an intense orgasm and he’s finding it hard to catch his breath.

He’s startled when he feels a head settling on his heaving chest. He uncovers his eyes and places a soft kiss at the top of Mike’s head, who yawns in response.

He should get up and wash his hands, get a wet towel and clean the mess they’ve made, but he doesn’t think he could so much as sit up right now. So he reaches out a hand to the nightstand and switches off the light.

“Goodnight, Mike.”, he says.

“G’night.”, Mike yawns again. “Is that what you said?”, he asks sleepily and Harvey understands he must have felt it through his chest.

“Yep.”, Harvey replies, kissing the top of his head again.

He’s dead tired, spent and… content, happy even. Sex hasn’t been this satisfying in a long, long time. That’s his last thought before he falls asleep.


	14. Objection! (part one)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really had to cut this chapter in two parts, it ended up a lot longer than I expected.  
> I hope you enjoy it. Thanks a lot for your comments! <3

Harvey wakes up but he doesn’t open his eyes. What he usually does in the morning is open his eyes, make a rapid inventory of the previous day (what happened? what did I win?) and a rapid inventory of what’s to come (what am I going to win today? where am I going for drinks tonight?). He doesn’t need to open his eyes for yesterday’s inventory as everything that’s happened last night comes right back when he hears Mike’s loud snores. _That was something_ , he thinks and smiles to himself.

His alarm hasn’t gone off yet but he knows it’s going to soon enough and he’d like to enjoy the 30 or 40 minutes he imagines he still has to sleep, so he rolls over on his side and blindly reaches out for Mike and groans when his hand doesn’t land on him. He must have moved to the far end of the bed… With a long frustrated sigh, he rolls onto his back and falls back asleep.

 

Mike’s cold and he can’t locate the blanket with his hands or feet so he rubs his eyes and opens them. _Harvey’s bedroom_. He slowly sits up and picks up the blanket from the floor. He’s spent the night in this room but he’s basically seeing for the first time as he had many other things to look at last night. He stifles a giggle at the memory of it and spreads the blanket over his body, suddenly feeling terribly self-conscious.

Deliberately avoiding the right side of the bed, he looks around the room. No pictures, no books, no magazines, no nothing. This could be just anybody’s room. Anybody who loves monochromic (and probably disgustingly expensive) paintings, that is. It’s not as big as the rest of the condo could lead to predict and the bed and its two nightstands actually are the only pieces of furniture. Mike spots a double door in the wall opposite to the bed and he supposes that it’s a big closet. There’s a door right next to the bedroom door which he suspects opens to an en suite bathroom. Speaking of which, he desperately needs to take a leak.

He sees Harvey shift on the bed in the corner of his eye and reluctantly turns to looks at him. He’s gotta face the music at some point anyway. Harvey’s lying on his back, an arm thrown over his eyes, sleeping soundly, and it’s got to be the most beautiful thing Mike’s ever seen. This would make such a beautiful picture… Harvey’s a strong and confident man, whether dressed in his perfectly tailored suits or in more casual clothes. He’s an intimidating man, a powerful and commanding man and Mike doesn’t doubt for a minute that he can be pretty ruthless when it comes to his job. But lying here on his bed without his suit armor, without any armor but the arm covering his eyes, he isn’t Harvey Specter, lawyer extraordinaire. He’s just Harvey. The Harvey that held Mike in his arms so gently, the Harvey that kissed his hair and pulled him close before falling asleep. The Harvey that laughs at Mike’s stupid jokes, the Harvey that’s scared of the water. And Mike likes this Harvey very much. _Very, very much_. Even though he knows he shouldn’t, even though it’s not part of the deal.

A shiver runs down Mike’s spine when he sees the dried come stains on Harvey’s stomach and he can feel his cheek starting to blush. He closes his fists, remembering the feel of Harvey’s skin under his fingers, the warmth of Harvey’s tongue on his neck, on his cock… _Shit_ , he thinks, pinching his thigh to distract his suddenly very interested cock.

He steps off the bed and carefully walks to the pile of clothes to get his phone and check the time. 6:05. He's not familiar with the protocol of one-night stands, though he’s pretty sure you’re not supposed to stay the night and creepily loom over your lover’s body while he still sleeps. Maybe he should just get dressed and go. Maybe leave a note to thank him. For dinner, not for the sex. Definitely not for the sex. God, _he had sex_. Well, theoretically, he’s still partly virgin since nobody’s ventured near his ass yet, but he thinks a blowjob and a crazy orgasm as well as all the kissing pretty much count as sex. As awesome sex.

He’s put on his boxers and jeans when he catches sight of Harvey, who’s awake and sitting on the bed, rubbing his face sleepily.

“Hey.”, he says and covers his mouth when he yawns.

“Hey.”, Mike replies. “Don’t worry, I’m leaving.”

“What do you mean _don’t worry_?”, Harvey frowns. “It’s not even 6:30 since my phone hasn’t rung. Are you-“, he begins to ask but stops when he realizes Mike’s not looking at him anymore. “Mike?”, he leaves the bed, grabs his boxers and quickly puts them on.

Mike knows Harvey’s talking to him, he sees him gesturing but he chooses to ignore it and walks to sit on the edge of the bed to put on his socks. He doesn’t need to hear what he’s sure Harvey’s telling him right now. _He knows_.

Harvey moves to stand in the doorway and when Mike finally stands back up, he has no other choice but to look at him.

“What’s wrong?”, he reads on Harvey’s lips.

“Nothing’s wrong.”, Mike replies dismissively and he casts an impatient glance over Harvey’s shoulder, hoping he takes the hint.

He does, obviously, but instead of moving to the side to let Mike go, he folds his arms across his chest and tilts his head to the side.

“I need to go.”, Mike finally finds the courage to meet his eyes again. “I have court at 11.”

“Yeah, that’s in 5 hours.”, Harvey purses his lips. “Is that what’s bothering you? Going to court and having to take the stand?”

“Yes.”, Mike lies, realizing Harvey’s just given him a very valid excuse. “But I’m good, I’m fine, just let me…”

Harvey narrows his eyes at him, not totally convinced. He finally sighs and moves, gesturing to Mike that he’s free to go. He’s not going to keep him hostage and Mike looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here, so…

“Thanks.”, Mike mutters and brushes past him. Harvey grabs a t-shirt when he notices the dried mess on his belly and walks to the living room where Mike is putting on his shoes.

“Will you let me know how it went?”, he asks when Mike stands back up.

“Sure.”, Mike nods. “Thanks for, um, the dinner at your brother’s and for letting me crash here.”, he adds before leaving through the front door instead of the private elevator, another sign he needs to be out as quickly as possible.

 _Crash, really_? Harvey’s been dismissed by lovers in his life, when he was much younger, but never like that. And most certainly never in his own apartment. He understands that Mike must be anxious about going to court. He’s still a little nervous himself every time he has to go but there wasn’t just fear in Mike’s eyes, there was anger. And Harvey wonders if it was directed at him or not. And if so, he has no idea why.

 

When Mike unlocks the door to his apartment, he finds Rachel seated at the dining table, still in her pajamas, working on her computer.

“Morning.”, he smiles, kicking the front door shut.

“Hey.”, she smiles back and checks the time on her computer screen. “What time do you call this?”, she taps her index finger on her wrist with a exaggerated pout.

“Sorry, Mum.”, Mike feigns annoyance and quickly unties and takes off his shoes. “I really need to go pee.”, he runs to the bathroom.

When he comes back to the living room, Rachel has resumed whatever she’s doing on her computer, looking focused and typing furiously on her keyboard.

“Already working?”, he asks, slumping onto the couch.

“I worked all night.”, she gets up and joins him. “I’m almost done drafting the agreement you suggested.”

Reality kicks back in and Mike realizes he had totally forgotten about what happened with her and Donna. He suddenly feels really bad for having left his best friend on her own in the state she was in.

“How are you feeling?”, he asks with a knowing look.

“I don’t know.”, she smiles sadly. “I went to see her yesterday. I didn’t have a single tear left to cry so I went for a walk and before I knew it, I was standing in front of her building.”, she sighs and Mike doesn’t say anything because he has a feeling she’s not done. “She didn’t even look sad.”, she chuckles dryly. “She said she wasn’t the one I should turn to for comfort…”

“That’s true, though.”, Mike swallows. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to comfort you last night…”

He chose to go out with Harvey instead of being there for the person who’s always been there for him. He chose to add his name to Harvey’s seemingly impressive track record instead of helping his best friend cope with a break up. What the hell was he thinking?

He looks up and bites the inside of his cheek as anger and guilt slowly settle in his empty stomach.

“Are you kidding me?”, Rachel grabs his face with both hands. “You went out and I’m sure you had a very good time and I’m happy for you. I didn’t want for you to stay and cry with me!”, she smiles and Mike shrugs. “Did you have a good time?”, she raises a playful eyebrow.

“Yeah.”, Mike nods. “And before you ask, because I know you will but I don’t want to talk about it, the answer is yes.”

“Oh my god!”, Rachel exclaims and pulls him into a hug. “How was it?”, she asks, gaping, when she pulls away.

“I just told you I didn’t want to talk about it.”, Mike sighs.

“Right, sorry.”, Rachel makes a face. “But oh my gooood!”, she giggles. “Wait. Why aren’t you happy?”, she asks after a moment.

“Should I be _happy_ about it?”, he stands back up and walks to the kitchen. _Coffee._ “What should I do ? Throw a party to celebrate the fact that I _finally_ had sex?”

Rachel frowns. She knows this Mike too well. The one who walks away from a conversation, the one who shuts himself out, the one who gets snappy. He can be very short-tempered when tired or upset.

“What’s wrong?”, she asks, walking to the kitchen. “ _What’s wrong._ ”, she signs when he turns around and he heaves a dramatic sigh. _God he can be so damn annoying_.

“Nothing, why?”, he replies and turns away again to pour himself some coffee.

“You tell me, Mike.”, she says, grabbing his chin to force him to look at her. “Why are you so mad all of a sudden?”

“Hey!”, Mike all but slaps her hand away. “Don’t do that!”

“But you’re ignoring me!”, Rachel exclaims. “You know I hate when you do that!”

“I told you I didn’t want to talk, wasn’t that clear enough?”, Mike spits.

“What is going on?”, she asks, taken aback by the nastiness in his voice. “Did something happen? Why is it that you’re always unhappy when you see Harvey? What did he do?”

“ _Always unhappy_?”, Mike huffs. “Harvey didn’t do anything, okay? Just…”, he swallows. “Just drop it, okay?”

“God I hate him…”, she mutters but of course, he’s seen that.

“It has nothing to do with Harvey, okay?!”, he shouts. “You don’t even know him, how could you hate him?! It’s me! I’m mad at myself!”, he drops his cup in the sink and stomps to his bedroom, slamming the door shut.

 

 

Harvey’s a little jumpy this morning and he doesn’t like it. He keeps thinking about Mike’s departure and his “ _don’t worry_ ” and the angriness in his eyes. Well, that and also Mike’s voice cracking when he came loudly in his bed last night. He keeps trying to find the connection between the two drastically different moods. In vain. He knows something happened. It cannot just be the court appointment, it has to be something else…

“Ethan!”, Harvey calls from his office. “Have you called Don-, _Miss Paulsen_?”

“Oh yeah, sorry.”, Ethan comes in his office with an apologetic smile. “I forgot to tell you. Amy told me she took the day off.”

“Oh.”, Harvey frowns. “Thank you. Shut the door please.”, he picks up his office phone and Ethan steps inside and grabs the door handle. “No, you leave first and _then_ you close the door.”, Harvey sighs.

“Right.”, Ethan blushes. “Of course.”

“Have you found a temp, yet?”, Harvey asks, dialing.

“No, the agency’s supposed to call me back before noon.”, Ethan replies and nods politely before stepping out and closing the door.

“Hey Harv…”

“Hey, Ethan told me you took a day off.”, Harvey says, checking that his assistant is back at his desk. “What’s going on?”

“I’m not feeling so well and I didn’t have anything too urgent so I decided to take a long weekend.”

Harvey purses his lips and he leans back in his chair.

“Wanna have dinner tonight?”, he asks. “I have something… a meeting, at 8, but I can drop by your place at 9:20 or 9:30.”

“A _meeting_?”, Donna asks and it feels great to hear her smile. “With Mike?”

“No.”, Harvey replies. “So, how about dinner?”

“Yeah, sure.”, Donna sighs. “9:30’s a little late for dinner, I can’t promise I’ll wait for you to open a bottle of wine but okay. What kind of meeting is it?”

“I’ll see you tonight then?”, Harvey asks, ignoring her question.

“Tell me what kind of meeting, _please_.”, Donna asks in a baby voice.

“Sign language class.”, Harvey mutters.

“For you?”, she burst out laughing.

“Yeah, for me, what?”, Harvey rolls his eyes. _Sad Donna is even more annoying_.

“Oh my god, I can’t wait to see it! Can I come?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Oh come on! We haven’t done anything just the two of us since I forced you to try yoga.”, she pleads.

“Fine… I’ll call the school.”, Harvey agrees. Maybe it’ll be more fun with her. Yoga definitely wasn’t, but maybe this will. “Meet me at the firm at 7:45.”

“Okay! See you tonight!”

At least he managed to cheer her up.

 

 

Mike waits for Rachel to leave for work to step out of his room. He takes his time in the shower, scrubbing himself meticulously to get rid of Harvey’s cologne, Harvey’s dried saliva trails, Harvey’s come, to get rid of _Harvey_. There are some traces he can’t erase, purple bruises around his collarbones, and he puts on a t-shirt so that he doesn’t have to look at them while shaving. He chooses to wear his suit, the one he wears when he’s covering weddings and spends a good 30 minutes trying to tie a decent knot.

He’s an hour early at the courthouse so he buys a coffee and a doughnut and sits on the steps. He picks a book in his inner library, The Book of Illusions by Paul Auster, which happens to be Paul’s favorite book. Talking about it at dinner yesterday made him want to read it again.

 

He’s halfway through chapter 9 when a hand on his shoulder pulls him back to reality.

“ _Good morning_.”, he signs with a smile.

Trevor signs back with an anxious smile and they exchange a couple of “words” before Scott arrives.

“ _Morning, gentlemen._ ”, he signs. “ _Ready to kick ass?_ ”

Both Trevor and Mike laugh and the three of them climb up the steps leading inside the courthouse.

It’s a very impressive and old building and Mike wishes he could be as relaxed as Scott appears to be because right now he regrets the coffee he just had. His stomach is churning and acid reflux is burning his tight throat.

The courtroom is a huge wooden room, just like in Law and Orders, Mike thinks as they walk to the front row. Scott has told them Housing Court isn’t as strict, as intimidating as what they’re used to seeing on TV and right now, Mike can’t imagine what it must feel like to walk in another kind of courtroom if this is supposed to be _not intimidating_. 11 cases are being tried today and they’re going first. There are people already seated in the back rows, reading newspapers or playing with their phones and a policeman, or at least someone who looks like a policeman, is straightening the American flag hanging above the judge’s bench.

“ _Mike, Trevor, this is Emerald._ ”, Scott signs, pointing at the middle-aged woman who’s just joined them. “ _She’s going to translate everything for you._ ”, he explains as they both shake her hand. “ _She’s going to stand right there._ ”, he points at a spot next to where the jury normally sits. Scott’s told them they don’t have juries in Housing Court. “ _If you don’t understand something or would like her to repeat, wave at me or at her, okay?_ ”, he smiles and Mike and Trevor nod and smile at Emerald.

A sharp-dressed petite woman approaches with a smile and Mike smiles back at her. She waits for Scott to notice her and when he does, she offers her hand.

“Dana Scott.”, she says. “Nice to finally meet you Mr. Everdale.”

“Likewise, Miss Scott.”, Scott shakes her hand and from the expression on his face, Mike guesses she’s their landlord’s lawyer.

“Good luck.”, she smirks and walks away on her impossibly high heels.

“ _Bitch._ ”, Scott touches his index fingers to his lips and Mike and Trevor snort.

Everybody in the room suddenly stands up and Mike understands the judge has been announced. Indeed, seconds later, an old man in a black gown appears, surrounded by more men in uniforms and Mike takes a deep breath. _You can do it_.

“Good morning ladies and gentlemen.”, the judge says with a warm smile and he nods at Trevor and Mike.

Emerald starts translating and Mike realizes it’s going to be very hard to focus on her instead of on the person speaking.

The judge asks their translator to commit to the truth and Mike watches her repeat after him.

“I solemnly swear that I will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God.”, he reads on her lips and glances at Trevor who looks even more nervous than him.

The judge turns to Dana Scott who starts explaining why they’re here. When she’s done presenting the case, she turns to them with an expectant look.

“ _Your time to shine._ ”, Scott smiles at Mike, who exhales sharply before walking to the stand.

His heart is stomping in his chest and his hands are shaking, _god,_ he really regrets that coffee.

He’s asked to swear on the Bible and when he sits down in his box, his eyes are drawn to the movement in the back of the room. The door has just opened and he has to scratch his eyes to believe what he sees: Harvey’s just entered the courtroom, a coffee in hand and a newspaper tucked under his arm.

Their eyes meet and Harvey gives him a short nod. Mike swallows before turning to the translator.

“ _Nice to see you in my court, Mr. Specter._ ”, he reads on Emerald’s hands and he turns back to Harvey.

“Good morning, Your Honor.”, Harvey smiles smugly. “I was in the neighborhood and I thought I’d stop by. I haven’t been in Housing Court since my first years.”

Mike misses the judge’s response but he sees the smile on his lips.

“Please proceed, counsel.”, he leans back in his chair and gestures towards Scott.

Scott motions for Mike to look at Emerald and he starts asking him questions about the association: how they built it up, when they moved in the office space, what they do, how they help the deaf community. Mike signs enthusiastically, stopping every few sentences to give Emerald time to translate it to the judge and the people in the room.

Harvey’s taken a seat right behind Trevor, in the second row and he watches as Mike answers Scott’s questions. He’s seen Scott before, he’s pretty sure he’s met him before. He’s about Mike’s age, tall, blond with big green eyes and if he wasn’t wearing the cheapest suit Harvey’s ever seen, he’d look very good. _And he’s gay and he speaks sign language_. Harvey hates him already. He decides to turn his attention back to Mike, who’s signing shakily, his cheeks flushed. He looks so nervous it makes Harvey’s stomach clench in his chest and when he sees that the opposing counsel in none other than one of his favorite opponents (and regular bed partner), he feels even worse for Mike. Scottie’s a snake.

“No further questions, Your Honor.”, Scott nods at the judge and goes back to his bench.

Scottie finishes writing something on her notepad and glances at Harvey before standing up and walking to where Mike’s standing.

“It’s a beautiful story, Mr. Ross.”, she says, a devilish smile on her lips and Mike signs something.

“Um, Your Honor, can I have a word with my client?”, Scott asks.

“Sure.”, the judge replies and Scottie rolls her eyes.

“ _What is it?_ ”, Scott signs as he walks to where Mike’s sitting.

“ _Can I talk?_ ”, Mike asks with pleading eyes. “ _It’s making me even more nervous to have to look at Emerald… Please?_ ”, he rubs his palm on his sternum.

“Okay.”, Scott says out loud and turns to the judge. “Your Honor, my client would like to answer Miss Scott’s questions by speaking. He can read lips and speak perfectly and would prefer to go on like that if that’s okay with you and Miss Scott.”

“Sure.”, the judge turns to Mike with an impressed nod. “I don’t see any objection to that. Miss Scott?”

“Whatever pleases him, Your Honor.”, Scottie smirks.

“I’m just going to have to ask you address my client directly and to keep your face to him at all times.”, Scott nods and goes back to his seat.

Mike sees Emerald signing for Trevor in the corner of his eye and he clears his throat uncomfortably. He tries his best to keep his eyes firmly on Dana Scott, afraid he might get distracted if his eyes met with Harvey again.

“So, Mr. Ross.”, she smiles. “You’re aware the conditions under which you’re renting Mr. Rodriguez’s office space are exceptional.”, she articulates exaggeratingly and Harvey rolls his eyes.

“Yes.”, Mike nods. “When we started looking for a place to move in, we realized we couldn’t afford anything bigger than a room-“

“And you’re aware that since you moved in 4 years ago, the market has exploded and the rents have increased exponentially?”, Scottie cuts him.

“Yes, I know that.”, Mike licks his lips. “The thing is-“

“Mr. Rodriguez business isn’t doing so well.”, Scottie cuts him again and when Scott doesn’t say anything, Harvey’s seconds away from objecting. “He needs to do some budget cuts, he’s firing three of his employees and unfortunately, I’m sure you understand that Mr. Ross, he can’t keep renting you this space at this very low price.”, she turns around and looks at her notes before turning back to Mike again. “Do your visitors come exclusively from Brooklyn?”

“Um, no, they, uh, come from all over the city.”, Mike stutters, fidgeting with his tie.

“So you don’t _need_ to be in Brooklyn?”

“No but-“

“You’ve explained that you have meetings there only twice a week and this space offers 4 rather large conference rooms.”, Dana folds her arms across her chest. “Surely, you could downsize it, say one or two rooms, and it would still fit your needs.”

Harvey balls his hands into fists and tries to remain silent. He doesn’t understand why Scott still hasn’t objected to Scottie’s aggressive line of questioning. What the hell is he waiting for?

“We have a library and a computer room and-“

“I know that Mr. Ross, I’ve visited your office on Wednesday. I was surprised to find it completely empty except for Mr. Evans a couple of people.”, she says and turns around with a mocking raised eyebrow.

“That’s because Wednesdays are-“

“Do you really need a 2 000 square-foot office space, Mr. Ross?”

“Well, we’re getting bigger and more people are-“

“It’s a simple question, Mr. Ross.”, Dana cuts him.

“Yeah but-“

“Yes or no, Mr. Ross?”

“Objection, Your Honor! Badgering!”, Harvey jerks up and yells.

“What do you think you’re doing, Mr. Specter?”, the judge asks.

“I’m sorry, Your Honor, but what does Miss Scott think she’s doing?”, Harvey shoots a pointed look at Scottie. “She’s badgering him. She hasn’t let him answer any of her questions!”

“Mr. Specter, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Your Honor-“

“ _Now._ ”, the judge threatens. “Don’t make me ask again or you’ll be held in contempt.”

Harvey takes a deep breath, his jaw clenched tight and when Scott turns around with a pointed look, he can’t contain his anger.

“Do your goddamn job!”, he spits.

“Bailiff.”, the judge sighs. “Please escort Mr. Specter out of my courtroom.”

“Don’t bother.”, Harvey snarls. “I’ll show myself out.”

“Let’s take a brief recess.”, the judge announces, striking the gavel.

Harvey angrily grabs his newspaper and empty paper cup and heads for the door.

“What the fuck was that?”, he hears and he jerks around when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t fucking touch me!”, he spits at Scott’s face and walks through the doors.

“Then don’t fucking interfere in my case!”, Scott shouts, his voice echoing in the spacious courthouse hall. “I am doing my job! I have everything under control!”

“Oh yeah?”, Harvey turns around. “Then what were you waiting for to object, uh?”

“They’re _my_ clients, not yours!”

“They wouldn’t even _be here_ if they were my clients, this wouldn’t have gone to court!”, Harvey snaps.

“Well, I seem to recall that it was your plan.”, Scott folds his arms across his chest. “That you didn’t offer to take the case because you knew that the judge wouldn’t sympathize with you, or with Rachel. So why don’t you suck it up and go back to your multimillion dollar shitty cases?”

“Shitty cases?”, Harvey huffs. “I’ve looked you up, Everdale, you and you mockery of a law firm.”, he snorts dryly. “You better step up your game if you don’t want to go bust soon, and it starts in this very courtroom. Dana Scott’s eating him alive! You’re going to lose!”

“Maybe we will, Mr. Specter.”, Scott steps closer. “But it’ll be your fault. You’re fucking up my strategy!”

“That’s your strategy?”, Harvey huffs. “Have Mike humiliate himself in that courtroom?”

“Yes!”, Scott nods jerkily. “You said it yourself, we have to win the judge’s compassion. Look, I know you care about Mike, but-“

“You don’t know _anything_ about me, Everdale!”, Harvey cuts him sharply and closes the space between them, almost bumping forehead with him.

“Harvey!”, he hears and he takes a step back as his anger automatically turns into guilt when he sees the worried look on Mike’s face.

“What are you doing?”, Mike asks.

“He’s screwing us up, that’s what.”, Scott replies, an angry purse on his lips.

“I am not.”, Harvey begins to say but he doesn’t elaborate. By taking Mike’s defense, he might not have screwed them up but he certainly did not help them. “Sorry.”, he swallows and turns on his heel.

“Who the hell does this man think he is?”, Scott shakes his head in disbelief. “Let’s go back.”, he says with a smile. “You’re doing great, don’t worry.”

Mike nods and watches Harvey disappear behind the large doors before following Scott back to the courtroom.

 

 

Rachel is putting the final touches to a report for one of Frank’s cases when he barges into her small office, a stack of files in his right hand.

“I was just about to send you my report on McKernan Motors.”, she looks up and smiles.

“Your f-, _Robert_ and I have to go to San Francisco next week.”, Frank says, handing her the files. “I was supposed to meet with Tom Keller on Monday but obviously, I won’t be able to. He’s suing L’Oreal of using a picture of him in their last French campaign.”, he explains. “It’s a no brainer, really, but it needs to be fixed as soon as possible as Tom is playing in the French Open in two months.”

“Okay.”, Rachel nods and puts the files away on top of her to do pile.

“One more thing.”, Frank smirks. “It’s against Pearson Specter but it’s not against Harvey Specter. You’ll have to set up an appointment with Donna Paulsen, all the information are in the file.”, he adds and Rachel’s stomach flips. “This is going to be your first time flying completely solo, make me proud!”, he winks and turns on his heel.

 _Oh god…_ She’s been at the firm for 3 years and she’s been waiting for Frank to trust her enough to let her handle a case on her own all this time. So of course, because she’s cursed, there’s just no other explanation, when she finally gets her very own first case, it’s against the women she just broke up with. A woman she'd never crossed paths with in 3 years.

She saves her document and quickly sends it to Frank before grabbing the Keller file. She likes Tom Keller and Frank knows they get on well. It could have been a fun case if it hadn’t been against Donna.

“Donna Paulsen’s office, this is Amy.”

“Hi, I’m Rachel Pettyfer with Rand, Kaldor and Zane, may I speak to Miss Paulsen?”, Rachel asks in a professional tone.

“I’m afraid she’s not here. Can I take a message?”

“Um, no, thank you. Do you know when she’ll be back?”

“Actually, she took the day off.”, Donna’s assistant replies. “Is it urgent?”

“No, this can wait till Monday, thank you.”, Rachel replies. “Have a good day.”

“You too Miss Pettyfer.”

 _Yeah, this can wait till Monday_.

She checks the time on her computer. 12:15. Mike must be done by now.

“ _I’m sorry about this morning. Hope it went well. Let me know. <3_”

 

 

Harvey walks back to the firm. It’s not exactly close to the courthouse but he needs to blow off some steam. He’s feeling too warm but he’s not ready to shed his jacket, not ready to take expose himself. He shouldn’t have gone there… Scott’s strategy might be questionable, but it’s exactly what Harvey would have done and he really hopes his little outburst did not jeopardize their chances of winning. What the hell was he thinking?

When he finally arrives at the firm, still angry but less jumpy, he finds two long legs and a cute little ass in a shirt and tight skirt hovering above the counter of Ethan’s cubicle.

“Mr. Specter!”, Ethan stands up with a smile when he spots Harvey. “Here’s Samantha Pratt.”, he points at the tall blond young woman.

Harvey gives her quick once over and raises an eyebrow.

“Nice to meet you Mr. Specter.”, she smiles and holds out a delicate hand. “I’m from Nadine Bocelli and Company, I’m Ethan’s replacement.”

“Oh, okay.”, Harvey shakes her hand. She smells really good.

“I’m taking her to lunch so I can brief her before she starts on Monday.”, Ethan grins.

“Sure.”, Harvey nods. “I’m going to work from home this afternoon.”, he walks in his office. “So call me if there’s anything.”

“I will.”, Ethan replies. “See you in two weeks!”, he exclaims and Harvey watches them walk down the corridor.

Ethan better brief her correctly or she’s going back to that agency of hers before she can say Jack Robinson.

 

 

They won. Mike went back to the stand and continued _trying_ to answer Dana Scott’s questions and Scott never stepped in. Scott then explained to the judge that he had done a little research on Rodriguez’s estate and showed him evidences that the man had about 4 other empty offices spaces in the city.

Around noon and after a moment spent in his chamber with Scott and Dana Scott, the judge ruled in their favor, citing that Mr. Rodriguez’s financials weren’t reason enough to justify kicking a useful and well set-up association out of their office. He even said he really hoped Dana Scott wasn’t planning on appealing, that he had hundreds of more important cases to resolve.

“ _Thank you very much._ ”, Trevor signs with a large grateful smile as they’re stepping out of the courthouse.

“ _You’re welcome._ ”, Scott smiles back. “ _Hungry?_ ”, he asks, sliding his curled hand down his throat.

“ _I have to go back to the office._ ”, Trevor replies. “ _There’s a support group meeting at 2._ ”

“ _Okay, take care._ ”, Scott hugs him. “ _Text me anytime._ ”

“ _I will. Bye Mike, see you later._ ”, Trevor signs and waves at them before heading towards the subway.

“Thank you.”, Mike sighs in relief. “You were great in there.”

“No, you did all the work.”, Scott shakes his head with a smile. “Wanna grab lunch?”

“Yes please, I’m starving.”

 

When Harvey steps out of the elevator into his apartment, he finds his housekeeper busy cleaning the windows and humming to one of his record playing in the background.

He had totally forgotten that it was Friday and that Gabriela would be here. Fuck, _the bed sheets_.

“Harvey!”, she turns around and exclaims when she hears him come in.

She’s been working for him for 7 years, following him when he moved in with Alex and then when he moved in his condo.

“Gabriela.”, Harvey smiles, dropping his briefcase and keys in the hallway. “Long time no see.”

“I know!”, the older woman puts her towel and sponge by the water bucket at her feet. “What are you doing here?”, she asks, walking up to him.

“It’s a rather slow day so I thought I’d work from the patio and get some sun.”, Harvey replies, loosening his tie.

“You do look quite pale.”, Gabriela makes a face. “And have you been eaten right recently?”

“Yes.”, Harvey chuckles. “As a matter of fact, I gained 6 pounds last month.”

“Partying too much?”, she winks.

“No, just not exercising enough.”, he replies, grabbing two cups from a cupboard. “It seems like the older I get, the lazier.”

“Your bedroom would tell otherwise.”

“Eww, gross.”, Harvey turns around and frowns. “Coffee?”

“Please.”, Gabriela replies, climbing on one of the barstools.

“Sorry about the bedroom, I completely forgot what day we were.”, Harvey mumbles, pouring coffee in the two cups. It wasn’t such a mess as far as he remembers. Sure the bed wasn’t made but he doesn’t remember having seen any visible stain on the sheets… Maybe she’s referring to Mike’s pool of drool on the pillow. That thought brings a smile to his lips, he bites it down just in time.

“It’s okay, I’ve seen worse.”, Gabriela replies with a chuckle. “I was at Alex’s yesterday and he told me you two are getting a divorce?”

“Yeah…”, Harvey hands her cup. “He just signed the papers. It should be finalized in a week or two. How is he?”

“He’s fine. He told me about his father…”, she sighs sadly and brings the cups to her lips.

“I know… I hope Franck gets better soon.”

“It’s almost 3, I should get back to work.”, Gabriela smiles and she empties her cup. “Go get some sun.”

“Yes, m’am.”, Harvey does a salute and carries his cup to his bedroom to get changed.

Gabriela has changed the sheets and made the bed, the window is open and it smells clean. _Too clean maybe_ , Harvey thinks, shrugging off his dress shirt and throwing it on the bed.

As he looks around the room, he gets it. He gets why he doesn’t spend more time in his condo, why he spends long days at work and evenings in bars, why he doesn’t get as excited as everybody at the prospect of weekends: his apartment is too big, too clean, too lonely. He liked the apartment on 5th better. It was smaller and messier. Then there was the loft he shared with Alex, also messier, and most importantly: louder. Barnie, Alex’s dog was always there to welcome him when he came home, whatever early or late. And there was Alex, watching TV or cooking something, on the phone with his mum or playing on his iPad. There was noise in his home then, there was _life_. Oh, it wasn’t perfect. Far from that actually. Alex was always complaining, he was, _still is_ , a spoiled brat, a 36 year-old teenager. But he was a lot of fun, a great cook, an awesome fuck, _he was company_.

It’s been over a year since Harvey moved here and it feels like he’s looking at his bedroom for the first time. How much did he spend on this monochromic piece of shit again?

He shakes his head and opens the doors to his walk-in closet. He fumbles in one of the shelves for his favorite, awfully old and ripped pair of jeans and slips on a t-shirt. He’s glad for the time he’s going to spend with Donna tonight. And he needs to text Mike, ask him how it went. He really hopes he didn’t fuck it up for the association. He really hopes he didn’t fuck it up with Mike…

 

Harvey manages to read about 10 pages of his book, to share another coffee with Gabriela before she finally leaves, to nap for 20 minutes and to do 50 push-ups before he gets seriously bored. It’s 6 pm and he still hasn’t heard from Mike who specifically told him he’d let him know. He must be mad at him… Of course, Harvey could text him but he’s getting tired of texts anyway, he wants to talk to him, to see him. But he screwed up so he’s not going to innocently ask how it went and he certainly won’t apologize via text message.

He still has another hour to kill before he needs to leave the house to meet with Donna so he goes back inside and settles on the dining table with his computer. He hasn’t been on Facebook for about a week and though it isn’t his favorite distraction, it surely helps kill time.

He slowly scrolls down the page, takes the time to read an article Neal posted about the LA Pride and "likes" a couple of pictures Paul shared of the tiny trees he and Liz just planted in their garden. Then Mike’s face appears on the screen.

 _Mike J. Ross was tagged in a picture by Scott Everdale_. _3h ago._

It shows Scott raising his glass next to a grinning Mike being smooched on the cheek by Rachel. They look happy and Mike’s smile is beyond cute and he hates Scott even more. But it’s the caption that makes the bile rise up Harvey’s throat.

“And the winners are… #friends #goodtimes #wedidit”

So they won. And they celebrated with Rachel. 3 hours ago. And Mike didn’t tell Harvey.

He nods to himself. _Okay_. Mike is definitely mad at him.

He jumps when his phone rings.

“Hey Gerald.”, he says, picking up. “What’s up?”

“Hey Harvey. Julie’s in labor and I need a huge favor.”, Gerald says and Harvey can hear people talking in the background.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah but my parents are vacationing in Canada and Julie’s parents cannot fly from Paris before tomorrow… The baby wasn’t due for another month and I have nobody to look after Mandy…”, he explains and he sounds really nervous. “Could you take her with you until Julie’s parents arrive?”

“Uh, now?”, Harvey clears his throat. He loves the little girl but he’s never looked after a kid before.

“We’re at the hospital now and she can’t stay here, can I drop her at your place? Julie’s parents are landing tomorrow evening.”

“Well, um, if you don’t have any other option, sure but…”, Harvey replies. _God help me_.

“I completely trust you with her and she loves you, she’s going to be thrilled.”, Gerald says, probably to reassure him.

“Okay…”

“You’re the best, Harv’, thank you so much.”, Gerald sighs. “I’ll be there in an hour.”

An hour. The sign language class. _Fuck_.

“Actually, I have to, uh…”, he begins to say. Mike’s mad at him. He’s been mad since this morning, so maybe he doesn’t need to learn sign language after all… “Nevermind, okay, drop her whenever.”

“Thank you. See you in an hour.”, Gerald says and hangs up.

Harvey sighs and rubs his face before dialing Donna’s number.

“Tell me you’re still going.”, Donna says when she answers. _How does she do it?_

“Actually no. I have to call the school to let them know we're not coming.”, Harvey replies. “My friend Julie’s in labor right now and her husband just called me to ask me to look after Mandy until her parents arrive tomorrow.”

“He asked _you_?”, Donna burst out laughing. “He must have been pretty desperate!”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence…”, he rolls his eyes. “He’s dropping her at my place in an hour. I know you don’t like kids, but please tell me you still want to have dinner with me.”

“Of course. We’ll put her to bed at 8 and get drunk.”, she chuckles. “I’ll bring the food.”

“What does a little kid eat?”

“I’ll bring stuff from that French place, don’t worry.”, she replies. “See you later!”

“Thanks, see you.”

He hadn’t really thought about what he wanted to do for the weekend but it looks like it’s going to involve lots of cartoons, tickling and bedtime stories…

He goes back to his computer and his heart skips a beat when he sees that Mike’s online. Maybe it’s his chance to get an explanation, to know for sure.

 **Reggie Nald:** I see congratulations are in order.

**_Mike J. Ross is typing…_ **

**Mike J. Ross:** Thanks.

 **Reggie Nald:** Welcome.

What now? Should he apologize? Ask him if he’s mad at him even though it’s pretty clear he is? He’s about to start typing when a question pops up.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Why did you come this morning?

That’s a very good question. To which Harvey can provide many answers: _I wanted to make sure you were okay because you seemed very upset when you left this morning. I wanted to see how that jerk was handling your case. I was bored at the office. I kind of missed you already._ He settles for the lie he told the judge.

 **Reggie Nald:** I was in the neighborhood.

 **Mike J. Ross:** So you just happened to be in the neighborhood at that exact time and to step in this very courtroom? Right. I’m deaf but I’m not dumb.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Why did you come?

 **Reggie Nald:** I wanted to see how you were doing.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Why?

 **Reggie Nald:** You seemed nervous when you left this morning and I know it can be pretty intimidating to have to take the stand in court.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Scott says I did a good job.

 **Reggie Nald:** I’m sure you did… I’m glad you won.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Yeah me too.

Harvey sighs and rubs his face. Now would be the perfect time to apologize.

 **Reggie Nald:** Look, I’m sorry for what I did, I shouldn’t have intervened. But I know Scottie, she can be a real bitch. I didn’t know Scott was intentionally not stepping in.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Scottie? I’m guessing you and her have history.

 **Reggie Nald:** We’ve been fighting in court for 10 years, she’s ruthless.

 **Mike J. Ross:** I didn’t mean that kind of history.

 **Reggie Nald:** What kind then?

 **Mike J. Ross:** You know exactly what I mean.

Harvey thinks he knows but he can’t see why it’s relevant here.

 **Reggie Nald:** I’m afraid I don’t.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Forget it. I have to go anyway.

 **Reggie Nald:** Are you mad at me?

 **Mike J. Ross:** No but I have to go.

 **Reggie Nald:** Okay… Are doing anything on Sunday?

 **Mike J. Ross:** Yeah, why?

 **Reggie Nald:** Nothing, have a good weekend.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Thanks, you too.

Harvey slams his laptop shut and grabs his phone. Okay, he screwed up, he shouldn’t have come but they won, for god’s sake. So why is Mike still mad at him?

He grabs his phone and starts typing a message before eventually dialing Mike’s number. He’s sick of texting and he’s sure Rachel will gladly translate his voicemail to Mike. Speak of the devil, it’s her voice he hears after a couple of rings.

“ _You’ve reached Mike Ross, please leave a message after the tone. If this is urgent, please send a text message._ ”

He clears his throat and straightens up on his chair.

´

 

 

Mike rolls his eyes when he takes out his phone. He considers picking up and tell (or rather remind) Harvey that he can’t hear him but he decides to send the call to voicemail.

“Rach'.”, he says, walking to the living room. “Harvey just left a voicemail on my phone, could you listen to it?”

“Sure.”, Rachel nods with a smile and she clumsily screws the cap back on her nail polish. “Just a second.”, she holds up a finger and blows on her nails.

Mike joins her on the couch and taps on the screen before turning to Rachel.

“Mike.”, she says and rolls her eyes upon hearing Harvey’s voice. “I’m not dumb either, I know you’re mad at me and I wanna know why.”, she pauses and narrows her eyes. “I apologized for this morning, let me know what else you want me to do. Could we talk about it? I’m busy tomorrow but I’m free on Sunday. Let me know. Please. Oh, and hi Rachel.”, she taps the screen with a dark blue painted index finger and snorts.

“Thank you.”, Mike gets up.

“Hey, not so fast.”, Rachel takes hold of his wrist. “What’s going on with Harvey?”

She sighs loudly when Mike just looks away, not even bothering to take his arm away.

“Look.”, she says and pulls at his arm. “Mike…”, she pulls harder. “I know you don’t like to talk about Harvey, let alone with me.”, she says when he finally looks at her again. “But please, tell me what’s wrong, I promise not to be mean.”, she gives him a small smile and lets go of his arm.

Mike purses his lips and sits back down.

“I like him.”, he says and looks down at his hands.

Rachel knows that. When she told him she thought Harvey made him unhappy, she wasn’t entirely being honest. Since meeting Harvey, Mike’s been the happiest she’s ever seen him. _Up until this morning_. What she meant by “unhappy” is the questions Mike seems to be asking himself, the self-doubt she’s seen settling slowly in her best friend since he’s been seeing Harvey. Harvey seems to make Mike both happy and upset at the same time. And seeing what she’s currently experiencing with Donna, what she’s experienced in her past relationships, she can only confirm what Mike just told her: he likes Harvey. That’s what happens when you become attached to someone. You start wondering if you’re good enough, you start putting more effort into your appearance, you keep asking yourself if the other person feels the same…

“Okay but, um…”, she places a hand on Mike’s when he doesn’t elaborate. “What’s wrong with that?”, she asks when he turns to look at her. And quite frankly, she cannot believe she’s asking that. She could write an essay on all the reasons why it’s _wrong_ to like Harvey Specter. She supposes that’s what being a good friend means.

“I thought I would be fine with…”, he blushes. “You know…”, he smiles and swallows. “I thought I could take what he was willing to give and move on, you know?”, he lets out a small whine that breaks Rachel’s heart. “But I like him. More than he likes me.”, he ducks his head again. “When I woke up this morning, I was happy. I mean, I’m glad it was him who…”, he sighs. “I know you don’t like him but he’s… he’s amazing. I don’t think he himself knows how amazing he is.”, he smiles. “I shouldn’t have slept with him.”, his smiles quickly fades away. “Because now I want more and… I’m stupid, I’m angry at myself for falling into that trap.”, he shakes his head.

“How do you know he doesn’t feel the same?”, Rachel asks. She deserves a medal, she really does. She should tell him to get over him, to forget about him and consider giving Scott a chance. She’s seen the way Scott looks at Mike.

“Of course he doesn’t.”, Mike huffs. “I mean, you’ve heard his friends, you’ve heard him. He doesn’t do… that. _Relationships_.”, he wiggles his hand. “You said it yourself.”

“I know, but people change.”, she replies. She has no idea what Harvey wants, what he feels for Mike but he wouldn’t have come to court this morning, he wouldn’t have left that message if all he was interested in was to sleep with Mike. “Why do you think he wants to know why you’re mad if he doesn’t care about you?”, she smiles.

“I guess he’s not done with me yet.”, Mike shrugs. “We didn’t go _all the way_.”, he airquotes with an eyeroll.

“Oh.”, Rachel suppresses a smile. She’ll ask him for details later, when he’s less upset. “You should talk to him. Whatever he tells you, at least you’ll know and you can move on.”, she says and she’s speaking from experience here. Speaking to Donna was hard but necessary. _Now she knows_ …

Mike shrugs again and unlocks his phone.

“ _I am having lunch with Scott on Sunday but I’m free in the afternoon._ ”, he types and sends to Harvey.


	15. Objection! (part two)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part two! It's still called Objection! so it's still a bit angsty but I managed to throw in some fluff and cute moments. It addresses most of the issues but doesn't resolve them all :)  
> Hope you like it! Thank you very much for your comments and kudos, I hope you know how much they mean to me. <3

“Uncle Harveyyyyy!”, Mandy steps out of the elevator and runs to Harvey.

“Hey sweetheart.”, Harvey opens his arms and lifts her up from the floor. “How’s Julie?”, he asks to a rather distressed-looking Gerald.

“She’s fine.”, he replies, dropping Mandy’s Frozen-themed backpack on the floor. “Mandy, why don’t you go sit on the couch so I can speak with your uncle Harvey for a minute?”

The little girl’s mouth turns into a cute pout but she obeys his father and drags her feet to the living room when Harvey puts her back down.

“Julie was induced after lunch.”, Gerald whispers. “She was feeling weird and she hadn’t felt the baby move or kick since last night so she went for a emergency check-up at the clinic.”, he explains, making sure his little girl is out of hearshot. “They did an ultrasound and discovered that her water had broken already, she didn’t know it, she has no idea when it happened. The baby wasn’t doing so well so they had to induce the labor.”

“Oh god, I’m sorry…”, Harvey purses his lips.

“She’s going to be alright, that’s what they told us, the baby’s fine for now too.”, Gerald nods. “Everything is in the bag: pajamas, toys, books, change of clothes, toothbrush… Thank you so much for doing this.”, he smiles gratefully.

“No problem, go see your wife and let me know how it goes, okay?”, Harvey smiles, patting Gerald’s shoulder.

“Yeah… Bye pumpkin!”, he calls.

“Bye daddy!”, the little girls replies. “Uncle Harvey, how does your TV work? I think your remote is dead.”

Gerald snorts and Harvey heaves a loud sigh before waving him goodbye and walking to the living room.

“Who said you could touch that?”, he asks and Mandy literally jumps when she realizes how close Harvey is.

“Nobody…”, she ducks her head.

“You want to watch something? Like a cartoon?”, Harvey sits down next to her and asks.

“Yes, please.”, she looks up and gives him a tentative smile.

“Okay…”, Harvey pushes a couple of button until his cable menu appears on the TV screen. “Let’s see what they have for little girls…”, he flicks through the kids section.

“Frozen!”, Mandy yells, her little index finger pointing at the TV.

“You like this one?”, Harvey chuckles.

“Yes, it’s my favorite!”, she grins. “Can I sit on your lap?”

He wasn’t really planning on watching it with her…

“Sure.”, he caves with a smile. “Come here.”

She crawls to his lap and lets out a content sigh when she’s seated, then leans against Harvey’s chest, her curly blond hair tickling his chin.

 

He’s dozing off, despite Mandy’s constant comments and questions, when the elevator opens.

“Hey.”, he hears and his neck crack when he turns his head to greet her.

“Ouch.”, he frowns. “Hey.”, he says and yawns loudly.

“Shhhhh.”, Mandy turns around with and glares at him.

Harvey chuckles and moves her from his lap so he can get up.

“Apparently we can’t talk too loud.”, he whispers with a smile when Donna arrives in the living room.

Donna smiles and walks to the kitchen where she puts the dinner on the counter.

“We’re going to have to pause the movie, sweetheart.”, Harvey says, grabbing the remote. “It’s dinner time. You know Donna, right?”

“Oh she probably doesn’t remember me.”, Donna huffs. “The last time I saw her she was barely walking.”

“I can ride a bike now!”, Mandy turns to them and she gapes when she sees Donna. “Wow. You’re beautiful!”

“Oh that’s nice!”, Donna chuckles. “You’re very cute too.”

“I love your hair. You’re like Ariel.”, she gets up from the couch and walks towards Donna. “But older. My Mummy is 38, how old are you?”

“I’m also 38.”, Donna replies.

“Cool!”, the little girl grins. “What’s for dinner?”, she asks, taking a seat at the table.

“ _Magret de canard_ and potatoes with honey sauce.”, Donna replies while Harvey walks to the kitchen to get them plates and cutlery. “It’s French.”

“Yeah, I know.”, Mandy huffs. “Do you like Frozen?”

“As in Let it go?”, Donna asks with a knowing smile and she spreads three placemats across the table.

“Yes! I’m watching it right now, Uncle Harvey has it on his TV.”

“Well, I brought a DVD, I thought we could watch it together.”, Donna says and Harvey turns around with a raised eyebrow.

“What is it?”, Mandy asks. “I need a napkin. Mummy says I always make a mess.”

“I’ll bring you one.”, Donna smiles. “I stopped by the library on my way here and borrowed a sign language DVD.”

“What is it?”, the little girl makes a face.

“Sign language is the way deaf people speak.”, Donna replies as she places a napkin on Mandy’s lap. “They talk with their hands.”

“Really?”

“Yes, look. This is how they say _thank you_.”, Donna touches her chin. “It’s like blowing a kiss but from your chin.”

“How do you know that?”, Harvey asks, joining them around the table.

“Mike showed me.”, Donna smirks. “Yes, that’s it.”, she smiles at Mandy.

“Did you really bring a sign language DVD?”

“Yep. It’s going to be fun!”

 

“ _Goodnight._ ”, Mandy signs when Harvey and Donna put her to bed two hours later.

She insisted on sleeping in Harvey’s bed.

“That’s very good, sweetheart.”, Harvey smiles and kisses her forehead. “I’ll leave the door open. See that door over there? It’s the bathroom.”

“Okay, thank you.”, Mandy pulls the cover over her chest and yawns. “Do you live here?” she asks Donna.

“No, I have my own home, I just came for dinner.”, Donna smiles.

“Can you stay tonight? Uncle Harvey, can she stay with us?”, she shuffles to the side. “The bed is biiiggg we can all sleep here!”

“Well… What do you think, Donna?”, Harvey chuckles.

“I think I might have a pair of earplugs in my handbag, so yes, why not?”

“Yay!”, Mandy giggles.

“Okay, sleep now.”, Harvey smiles fondly. “Goodnight.”

“Sign!”, Mandy orders. “Both of you, sign!”

“I don’t remember it.”, Harvey lies.

“Oh, come on, it’s an easy one.”, Donna rolls her eyes and signs with a smile. “Come on, Harvey.”

Harvey reluctantly complies, electing a happy shriek from the little girl.

“Shhh now, quiet time.”, Harvey scolds with a smile.

“See you later!”, Mandy exclaims when he turns off the lights.

Donna shakes her head with a smile and they quietly walk back to the living room.

“Alright.”, she says, opening the liquor cabinet. “Let’s get drunk.”

“Mandy likes you.”, Harvey says, sliding the glass door open and stepping out on the patio. It’s a warm night and New York City looks beautiful from up here.

“She’s cute.”, Donna agrees, joining him and putting two glasses and a bottle of scotch on the wooden coffee table.

“You’re good with kids.”, Harvey remarks. “Have you always known that you didn’t want kids?”, he asks.

He’s genuinely curious because the conflict between Rachel and her made him question himself, would he want to be a daddy?, and he still doesn’t know. He’d lean towards a no, but he’s not sure.

He didn’t expect Donna’s reaction and jumps when she drops the heavy glass bottle cap on the table.

“Sorry.”, she clears her throat.

Harvey looks up and when he sees the tightness in her jaw, he realizes he’s stroke a chord. And not just the Rachel chord.

“Here.”, she pushes a glass across the table.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“It’s okay.”, she sighs. “And to answer your question, no.”

Harvey takes a swallow of his glass and waits. He knows her, if she didn’t want to address the subject, she’d have ignored his question. But she gave him an answer so he knows there’s more to come.

And indeed, a couple of minutes later, Donna’s pouring herself another glass when she speaks again.

“I loved taking care of my sisters.”, she licks her lips. “My Mum used to say I was going to be a great mother, she used to say I had that _thing_ , you know, that maternal gift.”, she clears her throat and Harvey nods encouragingly. “When I was around 14 years old, my…”, she takes a gulp of scotch. “All my friends were getting their period and I remember asking my Mum when I would get them and she told me I was still young, that I still had time. It’s an important milestone in the life of a teenage girl, you know?”, she smiles sadly. “When my period still didn’t come, I was 16 at the time, Mum took me to her ob-gyn for a check up. She asked me a lot of questions, asked me if I was a virgin and… I hadn’t told my mum I was gay, and I still hadn’t had a real girlfriend, so I just told her that yes, I was a virgin.”, she exhales shakily. “She… she did an ultrasound because she didn’t want to…”, she puts her glass down and gets up. “Have you head of Diethylstilbestrol?”

“Um, no.”, Harvey shakes his head.

“It’s a drug. It used to be prescribed to women who found difficult to get pregnant or couldn’t carry a pregnancy to term.”, she walks to handrail. “My Mum took it to get pregnant with me. It got banned in 2000. There have been a lot of lawsuits and class actions…”, she explains and Harvey now understands she’s talking about DES. “The ultrasound revealed that my uterus wasn’t normal and the doctor told me I would never get my period and that I could…”, she clears her throat. “And that I could never have a baby.”

Harvey’s heart drops in his chest and he’s glad Donna isn’t facing him because he’s finding it hard to look up.

“I cried for days… I was told it was because of the drug my Mum took, it caused a lot of cancers and various malformations on little boys and girls. Hence, the ban.”, she sighs and turns around. “I knew that it would not be easy to have a child because I was gay. I knew I’d never conceive a child traditionally but I would never have thought that I could never physically get pregnant.”, she wipes a tear and takes a deep breath. “I spent the following years convincing myself I didn’t like kids, that I didn’t want to be a mother, that it was my choice. That’s how I dealt with it…”

She walks back to her chair and grabs her glass.

“I’m sorry…”, Harvey says with a sigh.

“It’s okay…”, Donna smiles sadly. “I’ve made my peace with it. I just… I just don’t like to talk about it. I’ve never told anyone.”

“You should tell Rachel.”

“No.”, she shakes her head.

“Look.”, Harvey says, placing a hand on her knee. “The fact that you can’t carry a child doesn’t mean you can’t be a mum. If I ever decide to have kid, I will probably not pass on my genes, I’m not that much of a jerk.”, he chuckles. “But I’m still going to be the child’s father.”

“It’s okay, Harvey…”, she sighs. “I’ve had years to get used to the idea that I would never have kids.”

“I still think you should tell Rachel.”, Harvey insists. “You know I don’t like her. I don’t _hate_ her, but she makes my skin crawl…”, he makes a disgusted face.

“Yeah, I got that.”, Donna rolls her eyes. “And we’ve already established that it’s because you’re jealous of her relationship with Mike.”

Harvey glares at her for a moment and finishes his glass.

“My point is.”, he holds up a finger. “I hate to admit it, but I think you two are adorable together.”

“Did you just use the word _adorable_?”, Donna snorts but the blush appearing on her cheek doesn’t go amiss.

“I guess I did.”, Harvey laughs. “And earlier today, I thought the word _cute_. I’m becoming senile.”

“About what? What did you think was cute?”, Donna asks, refilling their glass.

“Mike’s smile.”, Harvey sighs.

“You’re not becoming senile, old man.”, Donna pats his leg. “You’re crushing.”

“Harvey Specter doesn’t crush”, he huffs.

“Oh, Harvey Specter _does_ crush.”, she laughs and pats his knee. “Thanks for telling me.”, she smiles. “I thought you’d never admit it.”

“You just told me something you haven’t told anyone, it’s only fair that I tell you something too.”, he smiles back and looks away, his smile turning into a worried pout. “He hates me.”

“No, he doesn’t.”, Donna rolls her eyes. “Why would he?”

“I mean, I know I can be an asshole and I shouldn’t have spoken up in court this morning but-“

“You did what?”, she gapes.

“I wanted to make sure that this Scott Everdale guy was handling their case properly.”, he smiles sheepishly. “Besides, Mike was so nervous this morning when he left that it got me worried, so I-“

“Wait, Mike spent the night here?”, she gapes again. “Oh my god, you don’t tell me anything anymore!”

“I’m telling you right now.”, Harvey sighs exaggeratingly. “As I was saying.”, he gives her a pointed look. “I showed up in court and watched Mike’s testimony. You know who the opposing counsel was?”, Donna shakes her head. “Scottie. She began asking questions, cutting him whenever he tried to say something, she was clearly badgering him, he was squirming on his seat, so at one point I objected.”, he braces himself for her tirade.

“You objected during a trial that you weren’t part of? About a case you specifically told them required a _nice_ and _low-profile_ lawyer?”, she rolls her eyes for the hundredth time. “What were you thinking?”

“I know…”, Harvey makes a face. “And now he hates me because I almost screwed them up with my moment of weakness.”

“First you confess to crushing on Mike and now to a moment of weakness?”, Donna burst out laughing. “We should do these little one on ones more often!”

“Shut up.”, Harvey kicks her in the feet.

“Okay so about last night.”, Donna straightens up in her chair and gives her an expectant look. “What happened? Did you have sex?”

“Let’s just say I slept like a baby.”, he smirks. “It’s…”, he takes a sip of his glass. “It’s complicated because he’s, uh, a virgin.”

“I know.”

“You know?!”

“Yeah, Rachel told me.”, Donna replies.

“Did she tell you he had never even kissed anyone before?”

“No.”, she makes a face. “How is that even possible? I mean, that’s what I told Rachel, he’s so… _cute_!”, she grins.

“And smart, and funny, and witty and sexy…”, Harvey sighs and looks down at his glass.

Donna smiles and shakes her head. She’s never heard Harvey talk about someone with these words, not even Alex. Harvey doesn’t compliment people, doesn’t even comment on people unless he’s got a point to make, unless they’ve done something wrong. That’s how you know you’re doing things right with him, when he doesn’t comment. So yeah, maybe they’re tipsy, maybe her confession helped him open up, but she knows he means every word he just said, she knows he’s not just “crushing”.

“Crazy, uh?”, she huffs. “I’m sure Rachel and Mike are together right now.”

“Yeah, with that fucking bastard _Scott._ ”, Harvey snarls. “They went out for drinks after their win, the three of them. Mike didn’t even call me to let me know how it went. I saw it on Facebook…”

“It sucks…”, Donna leans back in her chair.

“Yeah…”, Harvey agrees.

They stay silent for long minutes, their eyes fixed on the starry night sky, until Harvey’s phone startles them back to reality.

“It’s Gerald.”, Harvey announces before picking up. “Hey Gerald.”

“She’s here.”, Gerald says in a quiet sob. “She arrived a half hour ago, she’s beautiful…”

“Congratulations.”, Harvey smiles broadly. “I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you.”, Gerald sniffs. “How’s Mandy doing?”

“She’s asleep.”, Harvey replies.

“How did the evening go?”

“Perfectly. Donna’s here with us, we learned sign language after dinner.”, he chuckles. “Mandy loved it.”

“That’s great, thank you so much again for looking after her, Julie told me to thank you as well.”

“You’re welcome.”, Harvey smiles. “Go get some sleep.”

“Yeah…”, Gerald chuckles. “Say hi to Donna for me and thank you again.”

“Stop thanking me.”, Harvey chuckles. “Bye.”, he says and hangs up. “Gerald says hi.”, he looks at Donna. “It’s a girl.”

“I’m happy for them.”, Donna smiles. “We should go to bed.”, she wrinkles her nose at the empty bottle.

They bring the glasses and bottle back inside the apartment and walk to the bedroom.

“Oh, my earplugs!”, Donna turns around and retraces her steps to the living room.

Harvey bites down a yawn and quietly pushes the bedroom door open. He switches on the bathroom light because he doesn’t want to wake Mandy by turning on the bedroom lights, and he smiles when he finally gets a good look at the bed.

The little girl is lying on her back in the middle of the bed, her worn-out stuffed animal clutched to her chest.

“Can I borrow a t-shirt?”, Donna whispers when she comes in the room.

“Sure.”, Harvey replies and he tiptoes towards the walk-in closet.

Donna leans on the doorframe and cannot suppress a smile when she sees little Mandy. She’s fought hard to not like kids and never succeeded. She fakes annoyance when she meets them, she pretends to not want to hold them or play with them. And she’s so good at it she’s even managed to build a reputation amongst her friends. They all think she’s too cool for kids, too busy, to career-driven. But the truth is kids make her heart melt and break a little at the same time.

“Here.”, Harvey hands her a plain white t-shirt.

“Thanks.”, she swallows thickly. “I’m going to use the bathroom for a sec.”

Harvey changes into his pajamas and carefully climbs up into the bed. He’ll shower and brush his teeth tomorrow.

“Do you need to use the bathroom?”, Donna asks, popping her head around the door.

“Nope.”

“Okay…”, she whispers and turns off the lights. “Goodnight, Harvey.”, she says, lying down on the other side of the bed.

“Goodnight, Don’.”

 

 

Mike jerks awake when his alarm clock starts vibrating and he sighs when he realizes it’s Saturday and he forgot to deprogram it. At least he knows what time it is. 7am… He’s not tired anymore, he went to bed early yesterday, after a light dinner with Rachel. He fell asleep on the couch while they were watching Rachel’s weekly dose of the Kardashians. He’s not a big fan, and that’s putting it mildly, but he likes snuggling with Rachel on the couch and eating ice cream.

Rachel seemed a tad less sad and Mike knows it has to do with the very nice time they had with Scott after the win, he knows it’s temporary so he tried to enjoy it. They both avoided talking about their respective ongoing dramas and for one evening, it felt like Donna and Harvey had never happened. Honestly, if this is what being in a relationship does, if it makes you sad and anxious and insecure, he thinks he better keep away from it and go back to the life he knows. Before meeting Harvey he was fine. Oh, he had bad days, like everybody does, but they were very few. His life was going smoothly, he was happy with it. Now he feels like shit. He knows it’s ridiculous, that someone you’ve been on a couple of dates with cannot be the cause of that, or at least not the only cause. But that’s how he feels right now.

He’s questioning everything. _Is he good enough?_ Not just for Harvey, it’s been established he’s not. _Would anyone want to be in a relationship with him at all?_ Now he knows someone can want sex from him, and it’s a bit of a reassurance he has to admit, but a relationship? Would anyone want to go through the trouble of having to always repeat everything twice, to maybe learn to sign? _Is his handicap the reason why nobody ever showed interest in him?_ Well, technically Harvey did show interest in him, they talked a lot, Harvey knows a lot about him, more than some of his friends do. They haven’t talked about his deafness at all, Harvey knows him, not just what he is on the outside. But Harvey had a plan, that’s why he took him on these dates. Would anyone want to build something with him? _Is being a photographer fulfilling? Is this really what he wants to keep doing?_ He’s met lawyers, cooks, bar owners… Meeting Harvey kind of opened his eyes to a whole new world and helping on Rachel’s case was fun. Plus, Harvey said he’d make “a terrific lawyer”… _Does he need to change his style? His hair? His clothes?_ He never thought about it, he just picks whatever feels comfortable but people like Neal and Nick, like Stephen, like _Harvey_ , they look good, they look confident, their style matches their personality. _Does his own match his personality? What kind of personality does he have anyway?_

He frowns at his frustrating train of thought and turns off the annoyingly vibrating device then steps off the bed. Dragging his feet to the chair where he put away his clothes last night, he grabs his boxers and puts them on before quietly heading for the kitchen.

It took him a couple of years to wrap his head around the fact that because he doesn’t hear anything doesn’t mean he doesn’t make noise. He used to talk really loud (he knows he still does sometimes) and slam doors and basically do everything noisily. His Grammy would always tell him that he’d give her a heart attack if he didn’t learn to be gentle. So he learned to tiptoe, to close cupboard doors gently, to put things down quietly. He woke Rachel a couple of times but she never held it against him, she’s always been very understanding, so supportive… And yet, two days ago, he selfishly chose to spend time with Harvey instead of staying home with her when she needed him the most. He’s gotta put an end to that and he’ll do it tomorrow, he’ll talk to Harvey and move on…

 

 

“Uncle Harvey…”, Harvey hears, whispered right in his ear. “Wake up.” _Mandy_.

Kids… They wake up, fresh and excited for a new day, expecting you to feel the same when you’d gladly stay in bed for one or two more hours.

“Uncle Harvey!”, she whispers again, or rather orders, poking his cheek.

“Mmmmmhhh…”, Harvey mumbles because he wants her to stop with the poking and whispering, he needs to let her know he’s awake. Kind of.

“You need to open your eyes.”, she says and plants a kiss on his cheek. “Please.”

“One…”, he clears his throat. “One minute, sweetheart.”

“59… 58… 57… 56… 5-“

“Okay, okay. Stop counting.”, Harvey opens his eyes. Mandy’s kneeling on the bed, looking down at him with a grin. “Where’s Donna?”, he rasps.

“I don’t know.”, the little girl shrugs. “I need to pee but I’m afraid to go alone, can you go with me?”

“Sure.”, Harvey yawns and closes his eyes again.

“No, no, no, don’t close your eyes, Uncle Harvey!”, Mandy exclaims, pulling at his t-shirt.

“Just give me a minute, please.”, he mumbles and he smiles when he hears her counting down again, but whispering this time. “Could you hand me my phone, please?”, he asks, pointing at the nightstand.

He hears her climb off the bed and walk around it.

“Here.”, she says, putting the phone on his chest.

“Thank you.”, he opens his eyes and sighs. “8:02.”, he sighs again.

“Uncle Harvey…”, she pleads, crossing her legs. “I really need to go.”

“Right.”, he chuckles.

He sleepily walks her to the bathroom and leans against the doorframe.

“Turn around.”, she orders.

 

Donna’s talking on the phone on the patio when they arrive in the living room. A coffee pot and two mugs as well as pastries and a Starbucks paper cup have been set on the dining table.

“Is this breakfast?”, Mandy asks.

“I think so.”, Harvey yawns. “Go get a seat, I’m going to go see Donna.”

“No, I wanna see her too!”, Mandy wraps her tiny fingers around his hand and pulls on his arm. “Come on!”

Harvey shakes his head with a smile and lets her drag him to the patio.

“I gotta go, they’re awake.”, Donna waves at them with a wink. “Okay, say hi to Daddy for me. Love you too, Mum. Bye.”, she hangs up and smile. “Hey guys.”

“ _Good morning._ ”, Mandy signs.

“Good morning to you too, princess.”, Donna crouches down to hug her. “I went home to get a change of clothes and bought breakfast on my way back.”, she tells Harvey. “I was thinking that we could have a picnic in the park, it’s such a beautiful day!”

It sounds like a nice offer but there’s something off in her voice, even in her smile.

“Yes!”, Mandy jumps and turns to Harvey. “Can we have a picnic, Uncle Harvey?”

“Yes sure.”, Harvey replies. “Get back inside and sit at the table, okay? We’ll be there in a minute.”

The little girl nods and walks through the glass door.

“Everything okay?”, Harvey asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine…”, Donna nods. “I just… I didn’t sleep so well, I was up at 4 so I went home and showered and changed, went through my emails and took care of a few things. I’m good.”, she nods again.

“Are you sure?”, he asks with a concerned look. “You know you can stay as long as you want.”

“Yeah, thank you.”, she licks her lips.

“Does it have something to do with what we talked about last night?”

“Partly, I guess…”, she swallows and looks away. “I’ve never told anyone before and… I suppose talking about it opened up old wounds.”

“Come here.”, Harvey smiles and open his arms.

“Uncle Harvey! Uncle Harvey!” is shouted from the living room, startling them both.

“What-“, Harvey turns around and stops dead in his track.

Mandy is kneeling on a chair, holding the empty coffee pot with both hands.

“I’m sorry…”, she starts crying and Harvey quickly understands why. She emptied the coffee pot on the table and coffee’s dripping down on the carpet. “I wanted to fill the cups but it was too heavy, I’m sorry…”, she sobs.

Harvey closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. His precious and valuable Persian carpet is ruined and so are two of his chairs.

“Woops.”, Donna suppresses a nervous giggle and clears her throat. “Mandy, just, um, put the pot down and step away from the table, alright? I’m going to get a towel to clean this.”, she clears her throat and glances at Harvey, who still hasn’t moved an inch.

“I’m sorry, Uncle Harvey…”, Mandy repeats, wiping her hands on her pajamas, her cheeks red.

 _It’s okay, sweetheart._ That’s what he should be saying right now but he can’t because it’s not fucking okay. And he can’t look away from the table, from the brown drops staining his rug. There’s nothing he hates more than people touching things they shouldn’t touch. Well, yes there’s something he hates more: people making a mess after touching something they shouldn’t have touched. Like that one time when Louis grabbed one of his signed balls and ended up breaking a glass sculpture in Harvey’s office. Except Louis is a freaking grown-up and Mandy’s a well-intentioned little girl.

“Okay.”, he nods and walks around the kitchen counter to get a dishtowel and help Donna clean the mess.

“Don’t yell at her.”, Donna leans in and whispers. “She meant well.”

“I know.”

Mandy’s still crying, obviously shaken by the mess she just made but also probably by the lack of reaction from Harvey.

“Stop crying, princess.”, Donna smiles. “I know you wanted to help.”

“But it was too heavy…”, the little girl whines.

“Not to mention hot.”, Harvey snaps. “Which is why you shouldn’t have touched it in the first place.”

“Harvey…”, Donna sighs. “She’s 5.”

Harvey purses his lips and wipes the table, cringing when more coffee drips and lands on the carpet.

“Are you going to punish me?”, Mandy asks, wiping her nose.

“No, sweetie.”, Donna turns around and smiles, causing Harvey to roll his eyes. “It’s okay. See? Almost cleaned up.”

“Almost.”, Harvey gives her a pointed look. “My carpet is ruined and so are these two chairs.”

“Harvey, for god’s sake!”, Donna slaps him with her dishtowel. “It was an accident, accidents happen. I’ll pay for the cleaner if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I have 10 dollars and 58 cents in my piggy bank.”, Mandy offers.

Harvey finally takes a look at her and when he sees the distress in her eyes, when he sees the guilt but also the fear in them, his heart clenches painfully.

“It’s okay, sweetheart.”, he sighs and manages a small smile. “I know you meant well.”

Donna wipes the last drops of the brown liquid and looks up.

“Now you know not to touch things that don’t belong to you.”, she tells Mandy who nods jerkily. “Thank you for wanting to help.”, she smiles.

“Are you going to tell Daddy?”

“No, princess, we won’t tell anyone. This will be our little secret.”, Donna winks.

Harvey rolls his eyes again and walks to the kitchen with the empty coffee pot. He’s pretty they should either ground Mandy or tell her parents. How is someone supposed to learn when there are no consequences to their actions?

“Before you start freaking out.”, Donna startles him by whispering in his ear. “We’re letting that slide because the scare you gave her is enough punishment.”

Harvey huffs and starts the coffee machine. _What a great way to start the day…_

 

 

Rachel and Mike are lying on the grass, snacking from a bag of chips and Mike’s reading a book out loud. She asks him sometimes, first because even after all these years she still finds it fascinating and because Mike’s a great reader. He does the different voices, the tones and his voice has that thing that could put a hysterically crying baby to sleep, it’s soothing. And Mike likes to do that, he enjoys sharing stories from his inner library. All Rachel needs to do is lie down, close her eyes and relax. She’s picked The Lovely Bones, a book she read years ago.

_“…Inside the snow globe on my father's desk, there was a penguin wearing a red-and-white-striped scarf. When I was little, my father would pull me into his lap and reach for the snow globe. He would turn it over, letting all the snow collect on the top, then quickly invert it. The two of us watched the snow fall gently around the penguin…”_

This reminds her that she hasn’t called her mother in weeks. Since working at her father’s firm and getting to see him everyday, she’s been calling her mum, Lydia, less often. Probably because she doesn’t need it as much as she used to, but mostly because she was getting tired of Lydia telling her that it was sad that she was still single… She had just decided to tell her parents about Donna and now she’s glad she didn’t. She wouldn’t have had the courage to face both her sadness and her parents’.

_“It was a surprise to everyone when Lindsey found out she was pregnant... My father dreamed that one day he might teach another child to love ships in bottles. He knew there would be both sadness and joy in it; that it would always hold an echo of me.”_

When she feels like she’s starting to doze off, Rachel sits up and stretches. Mike is reciting the book, his eyes closed, moving his hands animatedly to emphasize his words and she shakes her head with a smile and looks ahead.

_“Now I am in the place I call this wide Heaven because it includes all my simplest desires but also the most humble and grand. The word my grandfather uses is comfort.”_

Rachel doesn’t recognize him immediately. He looks so different, so much younger with his five o’clock shadow, his ripped jeans and tight white t-shirt. He’s chasing a little girl, laughing and calling her name. “Mandy! Mandy!” The little girl is giggling hysterically, trying to run faster on her little legs. He manages to catch up with her and she shrieks when he wraps his arms around her and lifts her up. “Gotcha!” That’s when she recognizes him and his unique voice. _Harvey_. With a kid. Laughing. Maybe Mike’s right, she doesn’t know him.

Her heart jumps in her chest when her eyes land on the woman walking behind them. Looking perfect as always, Donna’s wearing a black jumpsuit and a white floppy hat with sunglasses. Her red hair is flowing in the spring wind and Rachel watches her crouch down on the grass and open her arms for the little girl to take refuge in.

“Are you even listening?”, Mike asks, pulling her out of her thoughts.

“Yeah, sorry.”, Rachel smiles sheepishly.

“Is that Donna?”, Mike asks, sitting up.

“And Harvey.”, Rachel replies, realizing from the look on his face that Mike just saw him too.

The little girl suddenly leaves Donna’s embrace and starts running towards the lake. Mike sees the smile on Harvey’s face turn into a full-blown panicked expression. He can’t read what he shouts, they’re too far away but knowing Harvey’s fear of water, it doesn’t surprise him when he breaks into a run.

 

“Mandy, come back here!”, Harvey yells and he doesn’t recognize his own voice.

Mandy giggles, probably thinking they’re still playing tag. It doesn’t take more than a few seconds for Harvey to catch up with her.

“I said come back here!”, Harvey grabs her arm, so suddenly and so violently it makes her tumble on the grass. He pointedly ignores the “Harvey!” that Donna shouts. “Are you nuts?”, he snaps at Mandy who looks up and starts crying. “This is dangerous, the water is dangerous!”, he pants, rubbing his face with a trembling hand.

“I wasn’t going to jump in the water…”, Mandy cries.

“Harvey, stop it!”, Donna orders. “Come here, princess.”, she smiles and picks the little girl up in her arms. “Let’s go home. Harvey you calm down and catch up with us when you’re ready.”, she turns around and stops dead when she spots Rachel and Mike on the grass a couple of feet away. “Hey.”, she whispers and waves tentatively.

When Rachel waves back, she puts Mandy down and grabs her little hand before walking towards them.

“Hey Donna!”, Mike cheers.

“Who are they?”, Mandy frowns and pulls at Donna’s arm.

“Mandy, this is Mike and this is Rachel.”

“Wow, you’re beautiful!”, the little girl gapes.

“Thank you, I love your dress.”, Rachel blushes.

“Me too!”, Mandy grins.

“You know Mike speaks sign language.”, Donna smiles.

“Me too!”, the little girl nods.

“You do?”, Mike chuckles. “Show me something.”

Mandy looks away for a moment, her index finger pressed to her lips and then she looks back to them and starts signing.

“Well, goodnight to you too.”, Mike laughs. “How did you learn?”, he asks and straightens up when he notices Harvey walking up to them.

“Donna brought a DVD yesterday at Uncle Harvey’s and we watched it after dinner.”

_Uncle Harvey?_

“Hi.”, Harvey does a little wave when he approaches them.

“Hi.”, Mike and Rachel reply in unison.

“Uncle Harvey, Mike can speak sign language!”, Mandy turns around and smiles.

Kids are amazing, you shout at them, make them cry and barely a minute later they’re all smiles.

“I know.”, Harvey smiles sheepishly.

“We had a picnic.”, Mandy says, letting go of Donna’s hand to take a seat between Rachel and Mike.

“We have to go sweetheart.”, Donna says. “Your father is coming to pick you up.”

“Noooo.”, Mandy pouts.

“Hey, you’re going to meet your baby sister.”, Harvey crouches down and reaches out a hand to stroke her cheek. “She’s Gerald and Julie’s daughter.”, he turns to Mike and smiles. “Julie gave birth to a little girl early this morning.”

“Oh.”, Mike smiles, remembering the nice time they had that evening.

“Can I come back to your place afterwards?”, Mandy asks, getting up and wrapping her arms around Harvey’s neck. “Please.”, she kisses his cheek.

“I don’t think to, sweetheart. Your grandparents are coming from France to see you.”, Harvey gets back up, lifting her up. “I, uh, I was supposed to look after her until this evening but since it’s not the case anymore, are you busy tonight?”, he asks with a hopeful smile.

Mike should decline and stick with their plan. He should tell Harvey he’ll meet him at a café somewhere neutral so they can talk. He should not agree to meet with him _tonight_ , because he knows what that means.

“Yeah… I mean no, I’m not busy tonight, I’m…”, he licks his lips. How the hell is he supposed to resist that smile, those big brown eyes…? He’s so screwed.

“Great.”, Harvey nods with a broad smile and Mike’s heart melts. “I’ll pick you up at 8.”

Mike thought he was doing good, he thought he had made up his mind after his second coffee this morning: he was supposed to have a drink with Harvey after lunch tomorrow, preferably a coffee, and tell him that he couldn’t be his friend, that he couldn’t go on any more dates-that-end-up-in-bed with him. That it hurt too much because he wanted more. But the man standing there with his ripped jean, holding a little girl in his toned and tanned arms is the other Harvey. The one who shows shyness and weakness, not the cocky lawyer who shows up in court with a smirk plastered on his face. And he finds this Harvey simply irresistible.

“Okay.”, Mike swallows.

“Let’s go.”, Donna says with a sad smile. “Nice seeing you.”, she adds and Rachel ducks her head.

“Bye!”, Mandy waves enthusiastically and when she’s sure they’re gone, Rachel finally looks up and exhales sharply.

“She’d make a perfect Mum…”, she turns to Mike and sighs.

Mike gives her an apologetic smile.

“Harvey as a dad, though? _Not_ convinced.”, she chuckles. “Did you see the way he literally flipped and molested that poor little girl?”

“I thought they looked cute and she seems to like him a lot.”, Mike replies. “You know about his fear of the water…”, he adds and looks away.

Rachel shakes her head with a smile. Her best friend is in over his head with Harvey and there’s nothing she can do about it… Mike can deny it all he wants, she knows a bashful lover when she sees one and the way he automatically steps up to Harvey’s defense, the way he _looks_ at Harvey is all the proof she needs. And right there at that moment, she decides to stop trying to play matchmaker and forget about setting him up with Scott. She realizes it doesn’t work that way, that you can’t force somebody to fall for another person, that you can’t force somebody to stop liking another person. She, of all people, ought to know that.

 

 

Gerald comes to pick up his daughter, stays for a quick cup of coffee and thanks Harvey and Donna. Mandy signs her thank you, eliciting a proud smile from her father and Donna decides to go with them, despite Harvey’s insistence that she can stay if she wants to.

“I’m only having dinner with Mike, we’re going to talk.”, Harvey assures her. “I won’t be late.”

“Right.”, Donna smirks and follows Gerald and Mandy in the glass elevator.

An hour later, freshly showered and shaved, Harvey’s standing in his walk-in closet, wondering where he should take Mike and how he should dress.

He’s never felt more nervous in his life. Maybe one time, a long time ago, the day he signed the contract for the “movies” he agreed to do in exchange of $3000. He remembers that he knew back then, he _knew_ he was making the biggest mistake in his life, he knew he’d regret it. But he was young, it was quick money and if he’s honest with himself, he had fun shooting this badly filmed orgy. The others “actors” were hot and who wouldn’t like to be paid to fuck gorgeous women? He needed a car, desperately. That car was supposed to be his freedom, his door to a new and exciting life. Today he realizes that he hadn’t really thought about the consequences of the “movies” could have on the career he already knew he wanted.

So yeah, he’s nervous and though he doesn’t mind feeling nervous when it helps him focus on preparing for a big trial, when it helps him sort out his head and make the right decisions, he definitely hates when it means staring at his closet, when it makes his heart beat too fast and his hands shake. He’s scared of the water, he’s not proud of it but that’s the only thing he’s supposed to be scared of. Not of having dinner with someone. Not of being rejected. And yet, since finding the courage to ask Mike to move their meeting from Sunday to tonight, he’s found himself restless and unable to think clear.

Mike didn’t seem mad and he agreed to have dinner with him so Harvey should see it as a good sign. But he can’t help the gnawing discomfort in his stomach. An annoying feeling currently battling with the joy of spending time with Mike. Donna’s right, he’s crushing, badly. Just seeing Mike at the park earlier, just seeing those bright blue eyes, those beautiful pink lips and that stunning smile… it made his heart rate speed up and Harvey knows it had nothing to do with the scare Mandy had just given him. It was different, it felt nice. He’s crushing, badly.

So he chooses to play it safe, to make tonight look like it’s not a date. He picks an ordinary restaurant (the one he always goes with his father and Paul) and also picks an ordinary outfit, which for Harvey, consists in black pants and a black fitted dress shirt. He doesn’t put too much effort into styling his hair, he lets it dry and gives it a quick comb before nodding at his reflection in the mirror.

“That’ll have to do.”, he mumbles.

 

 

“You look great.”, Rachel leans against the doorframe, a fond smile on her lips.

Mike is standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, a bottle of cologne in his hands.

“What?”, he turns around.

“I said you look great.”, Rachel repeats. “I thought you were just going to talk to him.”, she smirks.

“Yes, that’s what I’m going to do, why?”

“Let’s see…”, Rachel steps closer to him. “Favorite shirt and jeans, lucky pair of Chucks, perfume… Looks more like you’re getting ready for a date to me.”, she crosses her arms and cocks her head to one side.

“I’m not going to go there in my pajamas.”, Mike replies with a huff but Rachel can see the beginning of a blush coloring his cheeks.

“Of course not.”, she smirks. “Oh.”, she raises an eyebrow when she hears the doorbell.

The light has gone off in the bedroom and in the bathroom. “Do you want me to get it?”

“Um…”, Mike licks his lips. “Uh, yeah. Please.”

She nods and walks to the front door.

“You clean up nicely, Mr. Specter.”, she says when she opens the door, clearly mocking the outfit he wore earlier.

“And you’re hilarious, Miss Zane.”, Harvey rolls his eyes.

“I know.”, she snorts and heads for the living room. “Mike will be here in a minute.”

Harvey doesn’t take another step since he hasn’t been invited to do so. Mike steps out of the bathroom 10 seconds later, looking nervous, which serves to make Harvey feel a little bit better. At least he’s not the only one freaking out. And apparently, he can hide it 10 000 times better than Mike.

“Ready?”, he asks casually.

“Yeah.”, Mike all but whispers. “Bye Rachel.”

“Bye Mike, see you tomorrow.”, she waves with a knowing smile.

“Let’s go.”, Mike chooses to ignore her and swings the front door open.

They ride the elevator down in silence, looking everywhere but at the other.

“Where are we going?”, Mike finally breaks the silence as they step out on the sidewalk.

“This way.”, Harvey motions to the right. “There’s a restaurant about 5 blocks from here, that’s-“, he says and realizes Mike’s not looking at him, ergo not “listening”.

He doesn’t bother to repeat because he was about to tell him that his father lived in that neighborhood and he doesn’t think this piece of information is worth troubling Mike.

5 blocks is a long way when you’re not talking. A long, awkward way, an every time Harvey discreetly glances at Mike, he’s either worrying his bottom lip or mouthing words.

After what felt like an hour, they finally arrive at the restaurant and Harvey opens the door for Mike, who timidly walks in. A waitress exchanges a couple of words with Harvey and shows them to a table in the far end of the room. The restaurant’s pretty busy, mostly families and older couples, and Mike can’t help wondering why Harvey decided to go to such an “ordinary” restaurant. Not that he minds, he actually feels a lot more comfortable than he did at Julie and Gerald’s restaurant but so far, Harvey’s always taken him to chic and fancy places, maybe there’s a message here. Maybe he’s not the only one who needs to talk tonight…

They sit down across from each other and Harvey’s about to break the ice when a hand delicately brushes his shoulder. He looks up and raises a surprised eyebrow.

“Ella.”, he frowns. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“I’m having dinner with my goddaughter.”, she points at a nearby table where a teenage girl is busy typing on her phone and turns to Mike. “You must be Mike.”, she holds out a hand.

“Uh yeah.”, Mike shakes her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.”, Ella smiles. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Oh, um…”, Mike glances at Harvey.

He’s looking down at his plate, visibly embarrassed.

“I’m gonna go back to my bored teenage goddaughter and let you enjoy your evening.”, she rolls her eyes. “See you around.”

“Yep.”, Harvey replies, swallowing thickly.

_Please, don’t ask me who she is or how I met her. Please, I don’t want to lie to you._

“Is she a friend of yours?”, Mike asks.

“It’s uh, complicated.”, Harvey clears his throat.

“An ex?”, Mike offers and purses his lips.

“Not really…”, Harvey takes a deep breath. “I don’t really know her. We-“

“Let me guess.”, Mike cuts him a little sharply. “You met her a bar, took her home, slept with her, and tonight is actually only the second time you’ve met.”

Harvey takes a moment to work out his answer. The way he sees it right now, judging by Mike’s harsh tone, he better not confirm Mike’s suspicions. But he doesn’t want to lie. Lies always catch up with you.

“She convinced me to ask you out.”, he replies. “I told her about you and she said I should ask you on a date.”

Mike doesn’t say anything, he just looks away at Ella’s table. Tall, late thirties, beautiful features and long legs, long blond hair and great style… he’s not an idiot. Of course he slept with her.

“You mean she convinced you to ask me out tonight?”, he asks.

“No.”, Harvey shakes his head. “After our first date.”, he makes a knowing face. Their first date definitely isn’t a great memory for either of them. “I was afraid you’d never want to see me again and then there was the weekend at Neal and Nick’s and… I…”, he licks his lips. “I still didn’t know if you’d like to go out with me again and she convinced me to ask you. Which I did when I came to visit you at your office on Tuesday.”

It doesn’t take a genius to do the math here and Mike’s big brain quickly comes to the conclusion that if Harvey ~~talked~~ had sex with Ella after their weekend at the beach and before their date, it happened on Monday night. So basically, Harvey had sex with a random woman while thinking about asking Mike out. _Wow_. If Mike had any hope at all that Harvey wasn’t really the womanizer his friends portray, and let’s be honest, he did, well it’s gone now.

“Okay…”, Mike replies, opening his menu.

He’s not hungry anymore, in fact, if he had the guts he’d run away now but that’s not how he was raised, so he’s going to have dinner with Harvey then go home and forget about him. He doesn’t even want to talk to him anymore, he doesn’t need to, he just got confirmation that all Harvey wants from him is sex. It’ll save him the embarrassment of having to ask.

 

Rachel’s in the kitchen fixing herself a nice dinner when the doorbell rings. She wipes her hands on the apron she’s wearing and walks to the door, which she opens without looking through the peephole first.

“Hi.”, she takes a step back when she sees Donna. She hadn’t thought about who it could be, all she cared about was going back to the stove to make sure her béarnaise sauce wouldn’t burn.

“Hi, is that a bad time?”, Donna asks, a serious look on her face.

“I… I’ve got something cooking on the stove but, um, come on in.”, she opens the door wider and smiles. “One second.”, she holds up a finger and runs to the kitchen.

Donna shuts the front door and slowly walks to the living room. It smells really good and her empty stomach growls in approval (she only had a tomato and a piece of bread for lunch at the park).

“What are you cooking?”, she asks tentatively.

“I’m trying a new recipe.”, Rachel replies, opening the oven. “It’s filet mignon and vegetables. It sounds easy when you say it but the meat needs to be cooked perfectly…”, she studies the oven for a moment. “… not to mention the sauce which is threatening to burn every time I turn my eyes away from it.”, she chuckles.

Donna smiles and exhales shakily. She’s still wearing her light trench coat and holding her purse. Rachel let her in but she didn’t mention that she could stay.

“Are you expecting someone?”, she asks.

“No.”, Rachel replies and she uncovers the sauce. “I was bored and hungry and I love to cook so I thought I’d try that recipe.”, she explains, dipping a wooden spoon in the pot and bringing it to her lips. “Hot.”, she licks her lips. “But delicious.”, she smiles to herself.

Donna wonders if she should ask Rachel if they can talk because that’s why she’s here. But Rachel seems busy and she hasn’t asked her why she came, so she feels a little lost and uncomfortable.

“Would you like to have dinner with me?”, Rachel finally looks at her and asks. “It’ll be ready in 10 minutes.”

“Um, actually I came here to talk to you…”, she clears her throat. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Oh.”, Rachel stops stirring the sauce and nods. “Okay, well, let’s talk over dinner.”, she gives her a small smile. “I spoke with your assistant yesterday, we’re going against each other in the case opposing L’Oreal and Tom Keller.”

“I thought Frank Prady was handling it.”, Donna swallows.

“He’s going away to San Francisco with my father for a week so he handed it to me.”

“Okay.”, Donna inhales deeply. “Do you need help with the table?”

“Sure.”, Rachel replies. “Plates are here.”, she motions towards a cupboard. “And cutlery’s in the top left drawer.”

 

Mike wanted to stay silent, he wanted to eat as fast as possible and go home. But he hates the silence and Harvey’s eyes were boring a hole in his head so he finally decided to pick a subject and asked Harvey about Julie and Gerald’s new baby. Turns out they named her Ashley Rose. Mike then asked him about how they met and remained friends through all these years and they eventually managed to spend their meal talking about everything but the enormous elephant in the room. They even laughed a couple of times.

When it’s time to pick up the tab, Mike announces that he’s paying (he doesn’t want to owe Harvey anything) and Harvey doesn’t even try to fight him.

“Thanks for dinner.”, Harvey says when they leave the restaurant.

“No problem.”, Mike replies and starts to walk.

“Mike.”, Harvey says and grabs his arm, causing Mike to turn around and face him.

He knows his tactics by now, he knows that Mike’s avoiding a discussion.

“What?”, Mike asks, his blue eyes defiant and angry.

“What’s wrong?”, Harvey asks. “Are you still mad because of what I did in court yesterday?”

“No.”, Mike purses his lips. “That was a stupid thing to do but you were right, _Scottie_ was badgering me. But it was part of the plan. I didn’t know it, you didn’t know it, it’s okay. We won.”

“So if it’s not that, what is it?”

“Nothing, Harvey.”, Mike replies and jerks his arm away. “You wanted to see me, you’ve seen me, what else do you want?”

“You’re mad at me, don’t tell me you’re not.”, Harvey crosses his arms. “Tell me why.”

“I’m not mad at you!”, Mike snaps. “I just…”, he exhales sharply and looks away. “What do you want from me, Harvey?”

“What do you mean?”

“Forget it.”, Mike shakes his head and swallows. He shouldn’t be mad at Harvey, Harvey hasn’t done anything wrong. He’s been very clear from the start. It’s Mike who imagined things, who wants more. “Look, I’m sorry I snapped at you, I’m tired I guess. It’s okay, let’s just-“

“Mike, please.”, Harvey steps closer and moves a hand to Mike’s waist. “Something must have happened, something I’m not aware of and I need you to tell me what it is.”, he looks at him with pleading eyes. “I thought we had a nice time on Thursday night but then you… I don’t know, you literally _fled_ my apartment and didn’t text me to tell the verdict. What happened?”

Mike takes a step back, he needs to put some distance between them, being so close to Harvey, feeling Harvey’s hands on him is making his head spin and right now he really needs to think straight.

“I need to go.”, he says because he doesn’t trust himself, he thought he could do it, he thought he could face Harvey but he can’t.

“Can we…”, Harvey runs a hand through his hair. “Can we at least talk about it? I have a feeling that this is a goodbye and… I’d like to understand why you’re ending this.”

“Ending what?”, Mike huffs. Seriously? Harvey really thought they’d be fuck buddies?

“Well, I know that we’ve only been on a couple of dates but I thought we were having a good time.”

“I wasn’t.”, Mike half-lies. It’s only a half-lie because he was having a good time, it’s the “after” that he had difficulties to deal with. The questioning, the feelings he has for the man currently standing with his mouth open, visibly dumbfounded by Mike’s revelation.

“Well, then…”, Harvey purses his lips and nods. “I guess it’s clearer now.”

Mike’s heart clenches painfully when he sees the disappointment, the hurt in Harvey’s eyes but he stands his ground and swallows thickly. He’s sure Harvey’s not used to being rejected given his track record with the population of New York. But he’ll call Ella, Scottie, or whomever he has on speed dial and he’ll quickly get over it. Mike, on the contrary, knows it’s going to take him some time to recover from the heartbreak presently shattering his whole body.

“Bye, Harvey.”, he says and turns on his heel, just in time to hide the pool of tears forming in his eyes.

 

Rachel wipes a tear and exhales shakily. She tried not to cry but failed miserably. She feels for Donna, for what she had to go through.

“I’m sorry.”, she blows her nose noisily.

“It’s okay.”, Donna hands her the box of tissues. “I’m sorry for not telling you the whole story the other day… I’m sorry for leaving the restaurant like that.”

“No, don’t be.”, Rachel shakes her head and grabs a tissue. “You didn’t need to tell me, you don’t owe me anything.”

“Yes I do.”, Donna nods. “I told you I loved you and you don’t leave your crying girlfriend in a restaurant like that.”, she sighs and looks away. “I had never told anyone before yesterday.”, she takes a swig of wine. “I told Harvey and he said I should tell you. He said we were _adorable_ together.”, she snorts.

“He said that?”, Rachel laughs. “He hates me.”

“No, he doesn’t. He’s jealous because you’re very close to Mike.”, Donna smiles.

“Mike thinks he’s only interested in sleeping with him…”, Rachel sighs.

“Couldn’t be further from the truth.”, Donna puts her glass down. “You should have heard what he told me yesterday, about Mike, I’ve never heard him say that about anyone. Not even his ex husband.”

“I hope they’re having a good time.”

“I’m sure they are.”, Donna smiles. “I’m sorry the night ended like that…”, she says after a moment. “But dinner was delicious.”

“Thank you.”, Rachel blushes.

Silence settles in the room and Donna takes it as her cue to leave. She’s said what she wanted to say, now Rachel knows why they’ve broken up and even if it still hurts like hell, even more after such a nice dinner, she feels lighter. Like a huge weight was taken off her shoulders.

“I should go.”, she starts piling up the plates.

“What now?”, Rachel puts a hand on her forearm.

“Rachel… I still can’t, um… I…”, Donna begins to say but Rachel cuts her by kissing her.

“I miss you.”, Rachel whispers against her lips. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Donna lets go of the plates and cups Rachel’s face.

“I miss you too.”, she says. “But… I haven’t changed my mind.”

“I don’t care.”, Rachel shakes her head, her eyes filling up with tears. “I love you and I want to be with you. That’s all I want right now.”

Donna’s about to object because Rachel’s young, she’s got her whole life ahead of her and she doesn’t want her to waste some precious years hoping for her to change her mind, but they both turn towards the door when it opens to reveal a crying Mike.

“Mike?”, Rachel jerks up. “ _Are you okay?_ ”, she signs.

“Goodnight.”, Mike replies, walking to his bedroom with his head down and slamming the door shut.

“Oh for God’s sake, what has Harvey done to him _again_?”, Rachel snaps.

“You should go talk to him…”, Donna offers tentatively.

“No, he wants to be alone.”

“I should go.”

“I’m glad you stopped by.”, Rachel smiles. “Would you like to have brunch tomorrow?”

“Rachel… I don’t think-“

“Donna.”, Rachel closes the space between them and grabs her hands. “Unless you don’t love me anymore, in which case I’d understand your reticence, I’m miserable without you. I want to be with you.”, she leans in and brushes her lips against Donna’s.

“I still love you…”, Donna caves in and captures her lips.

They’ll figure it out somehow. They’ll find a way to make it work and without anyone getting hurt. At least that’s what she wants to believe right now because Rachel’s lips and tongue feel like being home again.

“I’ll call you tomorrow.”, she says when she pulls away, eliciting a frustrated sigh from Rachel.

“Goodnight, Donna.”

“Goodnight, princess.”, Donna smiles and grabs and coat and handbag before quietly leaving the apartment.

Rachel heaves a loud sigh and starts clearing the dining table. She feels relieved and happy again though she can’t get Mike’s swollen eyes out of her mind. It’s so contradictory with what Donna told her about Harvey’s feelings… She knows he’s already in bed, probably crying and muffling the sound he supposes he’s making in his pillow. He won’t want to talk tonight. She’s going to set an alarm at 8 and hope that she can see him before she leaves for her brunch with Donna.


	16. Complicated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a new chapter! I did a little fast forward here, instead of the day by day I've been doing since the beginning of the story.  
> I hope you like how things are going, all I can say is that I can't wait to start writing the next chapter! *winks*  
> Thanks a lot for your reviews and kudos, thanks for reading this, you make the whole experience of writing this very special <3.  
> (Oh and this is now officially my longest fic!)

After a short and troubled night, Harvey spends two hours at the gym: one on the cross trainer and one boxing against Clifford, a man he put in jail 12 years ago and helped get out of 2 years ago.

Clifford Danner was his first big win, when he was still working at the DA’s office. It got his name in the papers and it helped him get noticed by Daniel Hardman who hired him 2 years later. Another story helped shape the Harvey Specter legend. Quickly after putting Clifford Danner behind bars, he discovered that his boss, District Attorney Cameron Dennis was hiding evidences. Harvey chose to become a lawyer for the game. To him, handling a case is a game. It’s not always fair and the good guy doesn’t always win, but it’s got rules. And one of them is honesty. You can distort the truth all you want, make something tell something other than what it’s supposed to, use people and situations to your advantage. But hiding evidences? Definitely a deal breaker. It’s not just playing unfairly, it’s downright cheating. It took him two years to uncover all the cases his boss had resolved by cheating. Clifford Danner was one of them. The first thing he did when he joined Pearson Hardman was to reopen this particular case and do everything in his power to get a retrial. 3 years of hearings, endless witness testimonies and a very public trial later, Clifford was a free man again. Harvey found him a job as a trainer, an apartment and has kept in contact with him ever since. They’re not friends _per se_ , but they’ve got history and enjoy fighting on the ring.

Clifford is sneakier than a punching bag, he’s a great opponent and today, Harvey needs to fight, he needs to blow off some steam. He refuses to acknowledge the reason for his frustration, which tends to make it even worse.

 

It’s no wonder he’s still feeling angry and jumpy when he gets back to his apartment. He contemplates going to Central Park for a run but eventually decided not to, the last two times he set foot there, he bumped into-, well, let’s just say it’s not a good idea.

Donna has tried calling him 37 times since 8 this morning and Harvey’s this close to answering and yelling “Leave me the fuck alone!” when his phone rings again. He’s surprised she hasn’t tried his home phone or showed up at his door yet, but it’s only noon, there’s still hope.

He finally decides to turn off his phone completely and go spend the afternoon in his office. He doesn’t have anything urgent to do, nothing that requires dragging his ass there on a Sunday, but trying to kill time in his apartment would drive him crazy and that way he won’t have to ignore Donna if she comes by.

He took the stained rug to the dry cleaner with Donna and Mandy yesterday and now his living room looks empty and ugly and he can’t stand to look at it. And yes, he’s going to pretend that it’s what’s put him in such a sour mood and he doesn’t care what anybody thinks.

HSo he grabs a quick shower, puts on a casual outfit and leaves his apartment.

 

 

When Mike emerges from his bedroom around 9, Rachel’s on the couch watching the news. She doesn’t turn around when he walks to the kitchen and while Mike’s grateful for her discretion, it also means he must have made quite the impression when he came home last night. God he’s tired of making a fool of himself…

He slept like a baby, when he finally stopped crying that is. His eyes still itch from too much rubbing and he’s pretty sure he looks like hell. He remembers one time when Rachel wanted to hide that she’d been crying, she rubbed ice cubes over her eyes. He’s going to have to do that if he doesn’t want Scott to notice and ask questions.

“Want more coffee?”, he asks and Rachel turns around with a smile.

“Yes, please.”, she gets up and carries her mug to the kitchen. “Sleep well?”

Mike nods and pours coffee in her cup. “You?”

“Yeah.”, she replies. “Thank you.”

“So, Donna was here last night?”

“She… she wanted to talk to me and since I was cooking when she arrived, I invited her to stay for dinner.”, she takes a sip of coffee.

Mike wants to ask her how it went, what Donna wanted to talk about but he knows that if he does, he’ll have to endure an interrogation session. They seemed to be doing pretty great, sitting very close to each other at the table when he came back from his dinner. And Rachel looks happy this morning, so he supposes that whatever they talked about, it was positive.

“What are you watching?”, he points loosely at the TV.

“The news.”, Rachel purses her lips. “There was a shooting at a church in Charleston…”

Mike narrows his eyes to read the news ticker displaying the latest updates on the tragic event. Apparently, 9 people were killed and a tenth person is still fighting for his life.

Mike is a fervent advocate of gun control, he hates them and the damage they do when put in people’s hands. Sure, he’s aware that people kill, not guns. But still, so much damage could be avoided if it wasn’t so easy to get your hands on a gun.

He shakes his head and grabs a Granola bar from the food cupboard.

“Wanna have lunch with Scott and I?”, he asks and takes a bite.

“I’m brunching with Donna.”, Rachel replies, barely managing to suppress a grin.

Mike smiles at her knowingly and walks to the living room. He puts his coffee cup down, fires up his laptop and logs on Facebook.

 _Neal Caffrey’s birthday is today_.

Oh. He writes a quick message on his wall and scrolls down. Despite being a Sunday and still pretty early, there already are a couple of messages from his friends and Rachel. One of them catches Mike’s eyes.

 **Reggie Nald –** 2 hours ago

_“Happy birthday. Now you can stop calling me “old man”, we’re the same age. Hope you have a good one. See you next weekend at the beach to celebrate. xoxo”_

“Have you been invited to Neal’s birthday party?”, Mike turns around towards the kitchen.

Rachel’s not there so he turns to the living room where she’s returned.

“Yes.”, she replies with a tentative smile. “You have too, check your events.”

Mike raises an eyebrow and goes back to the computer. Rachel’s right, there’s an event waiting for approval.

The event page displays an old picture of a cute kid who Mike guesses is a very young Neal with a caption that reads: “Let’s partay! (PS: I won’t take no for an answer)”

So far, 7 people are attending, 5 are not going and 2 still haven’t replied. Mike is one of them.

Neal, Nick, Lucy, Stephen, Harvey, Rachel and Donna are going. _The usual suspects_. A John Caffrey still hasn’t replied.

“So, you’re going?”, Mike turns around and asks.

“Yes, I confirmed this morning.”, Rachel smiles. “Are you?”

“No.”, Mike shakes his head and turns back around. _No fucking way_.

Rachel didn’t expect him to go, not after what happened last night. Well, she doesn’t _know_ what happened exactly, but giving the state Mike was in when he came back she guesses it didn’t end well. While getting ready yesterday, Mike had told her he was going to talk to Harvey, he was going to tell him he wasn’t interested in the kind of relationship Harvey was willing to have with him, but she knows that secretly he was hoping he wouldn’t have to, he was hoping that things would go differently. That’s a huge difference between them: Rachel’s always expecting the worse, waiting to be happily surprised whereas Mike’s pathologically optimistic, therefore often ending up disappointed or frustrated.

She debates whether she should tell him what Donna said. Whether she should let him know that Harvey likes him.

“About last night.”, Mike says as if he read her mind, not turning around. “I don’t want to talk about it. _Ever_. I’m fine, I’ve cried my eyes out and now I’m moving on.”

Rachel sighs loudly and shakes her head. She’s been through this twice. With Karen and then with Donna and she knows you don’t just _decide_ that you’re fine and moving on. She knows it takes time. But again, Mike’s a strong man, probably the strongest person she’s ever met. He’s been through an accident that left him an orphan and deaf, struggled to adapt to his handicap for years, lost the last remaining member of his family 3 years ago and yet, he’s always positive, always looking forward to what life is going to bring, always smiling. So if there’s one person who knows how to heal a broken heart, it’s Mike.

She hopes he’ll tell her what happened, she’s certainly not going to ask, he’s made it clear he doesn’t want to talk about it, but maybe what Donna said could be a game-changer. Right now, without the full story, without the full context, she doesn’t know how to help him.

 

 

Mike meets with Scott at Ari’s, as it happens to be Scott’s favorite burger joint as well, and he’s very proud of how well he’s handling it. He’s genuinely having a good time. Scott’s very good company and Mike already knew that, but it’s more evident today, he needed a breather, he needed to focus on everything but what happened with Harvey, and Scott provides him with just that. And it’s so much easier, so much more natural to have a conversation with someone who truly understands your struggles, who can alternate between signing and speaking when needed. Someone who knows how it works.

They talk about the trial again and Scott doesn’t mention Harvey’s outburst. They talk about Scott’s sister, Johanna, about what she does (she works in HR), how she gets through life and Mike can see that Scott’s very proud of her, that he loves her very much. Scott tells Mike how he met Rachel at Columbia and he confesses that he wasn’t a big fan of hers at first. He thought she was uptight and arrogant, but she was a good study partner because she was very focused and dedicated. Mike tells him about he met Rachel, how they grew up together, how he owes his stability and what he’s become to her and his Grammy.

He receives a text from Neal when they’re exiting the restaurant.

“ _MIKKKE! Thank you for the bday wishes. You haven’t confirmed that you’re coming next weekend!!!! Please tell me you are!!_ ”

He hasn’t confirmed because what he wanted to do was click on “will not attend” but he had just written a message on Neal’s wall and he didn’t want to just click a button. He will email Neal to tell me him that he’s not coming, he just has to find a plausible excuse first.

They go for a walk in Central Park and since he’s brought his camera, Mike takes pictures. A cute (unleashed) Labrador runs to them at some point and they talk with the owner, a real estate agent named Alexander Blake, for a while. Mike takes picture of the dog and takes the owner’s email, promising to send him the pictures. He gives him his business card and the man tells Mike he might actually need to engage the services of a photographer for his adds and that he’ll get back to him.

Later in the afternoon, Scott walks him back to his apartment and as Mike’s about to thank him for a great day and wave him goodbye, Scott leans in and kisses him.

“Um…”, Mike says, pulling away almost as soon as Scott’s lips touched his own. “I don’t think this… um, I’m not-“

“Okay.”, Scott smiles sadly. “I get it, you don’t like me that way.”

“No, I mean, I… It’s a little too, uh…”, Mike stutters. “I’m sorry.”, he sighs.

“Hey, don’t be sorry.”, Scott chuckles. “That’s the way the cookie crumbles.”

Mike bites the inside of his cheek nervously and purses his lips.

“Can we stay friends?”, Scott asks.

“Of course.”, Mike nods. “I’d love that.”

“Say hi to Rachel for me.”

“I will. Thank you for lunch.”, Mike tries to smile. “Bye.”

“Yeah, see you.”, Scott waves and turns on his heel.

Mike quickly enters the building and chooses to climb up to his floor instead of taking the elevator.

He cannot say that he hadn’t expected Scott to make a pass at him. What he hadn’t expected was the kiss. He thought Scott would have invited him on a date first, like a dinner date or something, which he would have declined. He feels bad for what he just did and he really has to applaud Scott’s composure. He’d be mortified if something similar happened to him. Being a lawyer must help in situations like these, where you have to act cool and unaffected.

When he unlocks the door and walks inside the apartment, he finds it empty. Rachel must still be out with Donna. He’s happy for them, especially for Rachel. Seeing her cry on Thursday was hard… He has no idea how they resolved the kid situation, though, and he doubts that either of them changed their minds on the subject. They must have reached a consensus and he’s glad they did.

He goes to his room and changes into a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt he finds balled up next to his laundry basket.

He’s a little hungry so he puts a popcorn bag in the microwave and settles on the living room table with his laptop and camera.

 

 

Harvey closes the lid of his computer and heaves a long satisfied sigh. He’s managed to do a lot more work than he expected. It’s amazing how much more focused you are when your phone is turned off. No distractions, no temptation.

He cringes when he glances at Ethan’s desk through the glass walls of his office. His assistant is gone for two weeks and he’s hired a goddamn Victoria’s Secret angel to replace him. And she probably won’t get his coffee right. And she won’t know when to block people from entering his office. And his favorite Persian carpet is ruined. _And Mike wasn’t having fun with him_. And, if he remembers correctly, Mike was having lunch with Scott today. That bastard probably spent the whole afternoon with _his_ Mike.

“I knew I’d find you here.”

Harvey jumps at the interruption then rolls his eyes dramatically.

“What do you want, Donna?”, he mumbles, gathering his phone and keys.

“I wanna know why are you avoiding me?”, Donna asks, awkwardly leaning against the thin glass doorframe.

“I’m not avoiding you.”, Harvey replies, getting up. “I mean, not you _specifically_.”

“So why are you avoiding everybody?”

“Because I had work to do and I needed to focus.”, Harvey walks up to her.

“Right.”, Donna sighs and steps out to let him come out of his office. “Does it have anything to do with Mike?”, she asks, following him to the elevators.

“No.”

“So the fact the he came home crying yesterday night has nothing to do with you coming to work on a Sunday when I know for sure that you’re not on a huge case?”, she asks and, as she knew he would, that makes him stop and turn around.

“What?”, he asks with a concerned look.

“I had dinner with Rachel yesterday and I was there when he came back from your date.”, she replies with a suspiciously raised eyebrow and she pushes the elevator call button.

“And he was crying?”, Harvey asks.

“Yes, and judging by his state, I’d say he had been crying for quite a long time already.”, she replies as they both step inside the cabin. “What happened?”

“What happened is that he broke up with me.”, Harvey huffs. “Wait.”, he cocks his head to one side. “You had dinner with Rachel?”

“That’s not the topic here.”, Donna smirks. “What did Mike say?”

“He asked me what I wanted from him and then he said he wasn’t having a good time with me.”, he mumbles.

“Did you tell him what you wanted from him?”

“No, I asked him what he meant by that.”, Harvey steps out of the elevator. “I mean, what does that mean? I don’t want anything _from_ him, I…”, he nods at the security guard and goes through the revolving doors.

“He thinks you just wanted to have sex with him.”, Donna says when she joins him on the sidewalk. “Rachel told me.”, she adds when Harvey opens his mouth.

“Well, I’m sure she didn’t try to contradict him.”, Harvey huffs. “Nosy little bitch.”, he mutters.

“Hey, I heard that!”, Donna slaps his shoulder. “Rachel has nothing to do with that and you know it. What else did you expect Mike to think? Even our friends know you sleep around!”

“I took him to dinner at my brother’s, Donna.”, he stops and glares at her. “Does that really scream one-night stand to you?”

“It doesn’t to _me_ but I’m not Mike. And I know you and what you think about him, he doesn’t.”, Donna folds her arms across her chest.

Harvey sighs and starts walking again.

“Neal invited him to his birthday party at the beach house.”, Donna says, catching up with him. “He hasn’t replied yet but Rachel told me he’s seen the invitation.”

“That’s great, Donna.”

“Oh, don’t _Donna_ me. Talk to me.”, she grabs his arm.

“Why are you following me?”, Harvey gives her a pointed and annoyed look.

“Because you’re driving me home.”, Donna smirks.

Harvey rolls his eyes and pushes the button on his keys to unlock the car.

 

Mike and Rachel have dinner and he shows her the pictures he took at the park. He doesn’t tell her about the kiss and he doesn’t ask her about her brunch with Donna. Despite the awkwardness, they manage to spend a great evening and end up watching Valentine’s Day (one of Rachel’s all-time favorite) before finally calling it a day.

Harvey drives Donna home and asks her about Rachel. She tells him about their heartfelt conversation, thanks him for giving her the strength to tell Rachel about her inability to have kids and urges him to get in contact with Mike. He just grunts and waves her goodbye. Once home, he takes a shower and orders Thai food (he skipped lunch), watches a game he had recorded a while ago and goes to bed early, exhausted after a long day of sports and intense work. Right before switching off the lights, he checks the event page on Facebook: Mike still hasn’t confirmed or denied his presence but he’s posted pictures from his walk in the park with Scott. Harvey tries to not look at them, to just scroll past them, he really does. But he fails miserably and ends up angrily turning off his phone when, flicking through the 20+ pictures Mike uploaded, he finds a selfie of the two men grinning like fools. He’s got to do something, and quick, if he doesn’t want to let Mike slip out of his life for good.

 

 

The next morning, Harvey wakes up feeling weird, probably because he slept a lot more than he’s used to and he spends way too much time doing his morning routine, which inevitably puts him in a sour mood.

When he finally arrives at the firm, about 20 minutes after his usual arrival time, he sees Ethan’s desk and remembers that he’s not coming and of course, it worsens his mood. He knows he should give the girl the benefit of the doubt, Ethan’s not stupid, he wouldn’t have hired an incompetent temp. But Harvey hates change when it comes to his work environment and, though it took Ethan and him a couple of years to learn to work as a team, he wouldn’t trade him for the world now. Of course, he would never tell the young man.

“Morning, Mr. Specter!”, the supermodel temp smiles when she arrives a couple of minutes later, a cup of coffee in hand.

She’s wearing the tightest and probably shortest little black dress ever and her boobs look they’re going to pop up out of in any seconds. She doesn’t come in, she stands in the doorway, clearly waiting for an invitation.

“Good morning… I’m sorry I don’t remember your name.”, Harvey replies, his eyes quickly going back to the computer he just switched on. “Come in.”

“Samantha.”, she replies and walks to his desk before putting the cup down. “Grande-quad-nonfat-one pump-no whip mocha.”, she announces in one breath.

“Thank you.”, Harvey looks up with an impressed raised eyebrow.

“Welcome.”, she smiles, visibly relieved.

“I have an appointment in 20 minutes with Walter Gillis. He doesn’t drink coffee, so could you please go get a bottle of water and a glass?”, he asks and pretends to type.

“Okay.”, Samantha says. “Will that be all for now?”

“You’re doing good so far.”, he says, taking a sip of his coffee and nodding in approval. “One thing though.”, he points at her dress. “Definitely too short and too much cleavage.”

“Oh.”, she blushes. “I’ll, um… I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good.”, he puts his coffee down and returns to his computer.

He smirks when he catches sight of her pulling on her dress from the corner of his eye. He’s sure Ethan told her he was an asshole, so he’s got to live up to his reputation. Besides, he didn’t tell her half of what he wanted to say about the piece of cheap fabric she calls a dress.

 

 

Mike wakes up early and decides to go do some work at the association. He helps Trevor conduct a sign language class and then does some accounting. Jenny, who’s not teaching due to spring break, comes to have lunch with them and he spends the rest of the day at the office. He doesn’t have any shooting scheduled for this week yet and he doesn’t want to stay home all day doing nothing. So he helps with whatever he can to pass the time.

 

Later that day, Rachel decides to pay Donna a surprise visit instead of calling her assistant to set up a meeting. It’s almost 7pm so hopefully Donna isn’t too busy and will be able to leave to have dinner with her. The last time Rachel was here with Frank, things didn’t go so well, they lost a huge case (luckily their client didn’t fire them) and she had to endure Harvey’s smugness for the entire two-hour meeting.

Speaking of the devil, Harvey’s the first person she sees when she steps out of the elevator. He’s walking down the corridor next to a tall and stunning woman.

“And what reason should I give them for the cancellation?”, she asks, taking notes.

“I don’t know, figure something out.”, Harvey huffs an annoyed sigh. “I’m going away for the weekend, so I need to-“, he stops when he sees Rachel. “Hi.”, he nods.

“Hi.”, she smiles.

“Samantha, this is Rachel Pettyfer, she’s with Rand, Kaldor and Zane.”, Harvey explains. “Are you here to see Miss Paulsen?”, he asks as Rachel and his assistant shake hands.

“Yes, could you show me where her office is?”

“End of the corridor, to the right.”, he replies, pointing over his shoulder. “I have to go now. Have a good evening.”

“Thank you, you too.”, Rachel nods politely.

Pearson Specter’s offices are very different from her father’s firm, which is more traditionally decorated, all dark wood and leather. Everything is transparent here, everything is glass and windows and beige-carpeted floors.

When she reaches the end of the long corridor, she spots Donna talking on the phone and laughing.

“May I help you?”, a woman, who must be her age, stands up from behind her desk.

“Um, yes, I’m Rachel Pettyfer with Rand, Kaldor and Zane.”, she holds out a hand. “I’m here to see Miss Paulsen.”

“Did you have an appointment?”, the secretary frowns and sits back down to look at her computer.

“No, I-“

“Rach!”, the office door opens and Donna steps out with a broad smile. “Come in!”

“Thank you.”, Rachel smiles at her assistant and walks inside the office. “Harvey’s associate is a freaking supermodel.”, she says, shutting the door.

“Oh, you mean Samantha?”, Donna chuckles. “She’s his temp secretary, not his associate. He doesn’t have one, he says he works better alone.”

“That doesn’t surprise me one bit.”, Rachel also chuckles, looking around the room. “You’ve got a beautiful office…”, she nods.

“You will too one day.”, Donna nods. “So, what’s the plan?”, she asks, sitting back behind her desk.

“I need to set a mediation meeting with L’Oreal and you for-“

“Not that.”, Donna makes a face. “That’s boring. I’m talking about our plan for Mike and Harvey.”

“What plan?”, Rachel frowns.

“That’s what we need to discuss.”, Donna turns her laptop around so Rachel can see the screen. “Mike still hasn’t replied to Neal’s invitation. That means he wants to go but something’s holding him back.”

“Yes..”, Rachel snorts. “What’s holding him back is the fact that he doesn’t want to go. He told me, Don’, he doesn’t want to go. And I can’t really blame him, I mean, you’ve seen the state he was in when he came back the other day.”

“So why hasn’t he replied yet?”, Donna quirks a playful eyebrow. “I’ve seen how upset he was but that’s because he has the wrong idea on what Harvey thinks of him, we just need to tell him.”

“Not going to happen.”, Rachel holds up a hand dismissively. “He told me he didn’t want to talk about it _ever_ , and I don’t want to fight with him.”

“I told Harvey what happened.”, Donna says. “He looked surprised, and a little worried about Mike. He didn’t know Mike thought he was only looking for sex. He thought bringing him to his brother’s was a sign that he wanted something…”, she takes a moment to think. “Well, he didn’t use the word _relationship_ , I think he’s allergic to that word, but he said ‘something serious’.”, she airquotes in a mocking tone.

“I know Mike.”, Rachel sighs. “He told me was moving on and if there’s one I’ve learned from all those years as his friend and confidant, it’s that when he puts his mind to something, there’s no stopping him.”

“You can’t will yourself to forget about your feelings.”, Donna shakes her head and turns towards the window.

Rachel knows it too well, and she knows Donna’s thinking the exact same thing.

“Look.”, Donna turns back around and straightens up on her comfortable chair. “If you don’t want to meddle with it, it’s fine and I understand. But I see two people who really like each other and one of them is my best friend. I cannot just watch a potentially great relationship disintegrate before my eyes and not do everything in my power to make it work.”, she smiles. “I love Harvey, he’s a great man and I’ve known him for years and I’ve never been more sure about anything. They would be great for each other.”

“I can’t force Mike to listen to me, because he’s very stubborn and because I can’t… I mean, _literally_ , I can’t force him.”, Rachel sighs. “He’s hurting right now, I don’t want to upset him even more.”

“Okay, you know what Harvey told me about Mike?”, Donna asks and she doesn’t wait for Rachel’s answer to her rhetorical question. “We were both pretty tipsy but the kind of confessions he made that night only happens once every 200 years so you can trust that I have it committed to memory forever.”, she smiles. “He said Mike was smart, funny, witty and sexy. And he said his smile was cute.”

Rachel can’t help a smile and she takes a deep breath.

“Fine. I’ll try to talk to him. But what’s your plan if it doesn’t work?”, she asks.

“I don’t know yet.”, Donna smiles mischievously. “We’ll figure it out in due time. We’ve got till Thursday. Dinner?”

“Yes!”, Rachel nods enthusiastically.

 

 

Tuesday and Wednesday pass by in a blur.

Donna and Rachel meet with their respective clients and manage to reach a settlement. They have dinner and a sleepover at Donna’s on Wednesday night. Rachel still hasn’t found the courage to broach the subject with Mike and well, he really seems to have moved on. He’s back to his old smiling and funny self, which makes it even more difficult. Despite Donna’s insistance and constant bullying, she can’t bring herself to break the ice, to ruin her best friend’s mood and put their peacefulness at risk.

 

Harvey gets engrossed in a merger case with Walter Gillis and pretty much uses this as an excuse to avoid any private conversation with Donna. And to avoid thinking about Mike, which proves a little harder. There is nothing like a big old merger to take your brain hostage and make you lose grip on reality. He gets in early and goes home late. Samantha is doing an okay job, much better than Harvey would have expected, but he still teases her, still sets traps she sometimes falls into and he has to admit he’s having quite a bit of fun. Not that he has stopped counting down the days until Ethan’s return, it’s just less crappy than he thought those two weeks would be. And yes, he still persuades himself that it’s Ethan he’s missing. How the hell is he supposed to tell Mike he wants to see him again, that he knows what Mike thinks and that he’s completely wrong? _“Hey Mike, of course I enjoyed our night together but, contrary to what you think, I’m far from being done with you. I want this and more, and everything that goes with it. Move in with me?”_ So instead of texting Mike, instead of acting like a grown man, he tries to reassure himself: Mike still hasn’t replied to Neal’s invitation.

 

Mike gets a last minute photo shoot for a new client (a fencing team) on Wednesday morning. He still hasn’t replied to Neal’s invitation despite the 4 or 5 text messages he’s received from the birthday boy. He knows Neal wants him to come or at the very least needs an answer. But even if Mike knows he doesn’t want to go, he can’t come up with one valid reason. He wants to see Harvey. Even after what happened, he still wants to see him, to see his smile, his big and kind brown eyes… He shouldn’t but that’s how it is. Seeing him would hurt and he’s done hurting, he’s turned a page (or is in the process of) and going to Neal’s birthday would only serve to put the brakes on his resolutions. Fear of relapsing and pining aren’t good reasons. Besides, he really likes all the people who are going and he knows he’ll have a good time. So no, he can’t find a single good reason not to go. And he’s actually surprised Rachel hasn’t asked him about it…

 

On Thursday morning, Mike gets up around 10 and, though it depresses him to have to stay in on such a beautiful day, he grabs a quick breakfast and decides to tackle the work on the pictures he took yesterday.

He connects his camera to his computer and logs on Facebook.

Scott has posted a link on his wall to the National Geographic Photo Contest 2015, urging him to participate. _Trevor Evans is now in a relationship with Jennifer L. Griffith_ makes him smile and he enthusiastically clicks on “Like”. Rachel has posted a picture of her new shoes and Nick has added a post to the birthday event page reminding every attendee to bring a swimsuit.

Mike’s heart flips in his chest when a new chat window opens.

 **Reggie Nald:** Hey.

He should pretend he’s not here, that he’s not in front of his computer, close the tab and start working on his picture editing. _But it’s Harvey_ … He realizes at that moment how much he’s missed him. It’s not even been 5 days but he had gotten used to meeting with Harvey on a pretty regular basis.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Hey.

 **Reggie Nald:** How are you?

_I miss you, I... I’m miserable, sad and lonely._

**Mike J. Ross:** Good, you?

 **Reggie Nald:** Busy, I have barely seen my apartment in 4 days.

 **Mike J. Ross:** I have spent the last 4 days in mine, except for a photo shoot I did yesterday…

 **Reggie Nald:** I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you get more work next week.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Yeah, me too.

 _Well, that was fun…_ , Mike thinks after a few seconds of silence. He’s about to go back to his pictures when a new message pops up.

 **Reggie Nald:** If you’re not busy today, maybe we could have lunch together? I was supposed to spend the afternoon looking for a file but a not-completely-incompetent associate found it for me already.

This elicits a smile from Mike and he rolls his eyes at himself for caving in so quickly. He shouldn’t have replied in the first place. If he ever needed any more proof that he should stay away from Harvey because he just can’t resist him, here he goes. He’s torn between the irresistible urge to say yes, because _fuck yes_ he wants to see Harvey, and the part of his brain he trained to show him reason when needed. This little voice in his head which is constantly replaying scenes from the club they went to in the Hamptons. _All these women around Harvey, especially that girl, Roby._ It also replays that scene from the restaurant, when Ella came to their table and unequivocally _touched_ Harvey’s shoulder. Harvey’s a magnet, he knows it and that’s apparently how he wants things to be. He likes the attention, he doesn’t discriminate, everybody’s welcome in his bed. And that should make Mike want to run away.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Why?

 **Reggie Nald:** Why what?

 **Mike J. Ross:** Why do you want to have lunch with me?

 **Reggie Nald:** You’re so fucking complicated. Why can’t you just say yes or no?

Mike gapes at his computer screen and has to rest his hands on his knees to prevent them from typing a capitalized _fuck you_.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Because it’s not that simple!

 **Reggie Nald:** Are you hungry? Do you want to see me? Two very simple questions. Now how’s that complicated? Enlighten me.

 **Mike J. Ross:** You’re a dick.

 **Reggie Nald:** Is that a no? :)

 **Mike J. Ross:** Answer my question and I’ll answer yours. Why do you want to have lunch me?

 **Reggie Nald:** Because I’m hungry and I want to see you.

 **Reggie Nald:** See? Simple!

Mike rolls his eyes and suppresses a smile. He can imagine the proud smirk that’s undoubtedly spreading across Harvey’s face right now. The reasonable part of his brain is clearly loosing the battle.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Me too.

 **Reggie Nald:** Then that’s settled. Meet me at the firm at 1.

Mike’s about to type his reply (“I was talking about being angry”) when he sees that Harvey’s not online anymore.

It’s 10:32 and walking to the firm should take about 30 minutes, which means he has to leave the apartment at 12:25ish, which means he has 2 hours do get some work done and to get ready. Right now, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to get anything done if his heartbeat doesn’t take it down a notch.

 

He’s still freaking out when he arrives in front of the impressive glass building and he decides to wait on a bench at the bottom of the stairs. _Harvey wants to see me_. Mike really can’t see why after what he told him the other night, he thought the message was pretty clear. But apparently, Harvey Specter doesn’t take no for an answer. Maybe he hurt him by saying he wasn’t having a good time with him and Harvey wants to know why? In any case, Mike can’t wait to see him and he shouldn’t be so excited because the more excited he gets about it the more he knows he’s going to hurt afterwards.

When Harvey doesn’t show up after a whole 15 minutes, Mike decides to step inside the building. It’s lunchtime and a lot of people are coming in and out and walking across the large marble lobby. He smiles proudly when he reads the big silver letters PEARSON SPECTER 55th-58th floor on the direction sign post.

“Hi, Excuse me, Sir.”, he asks the security guard when he notices the turnstiles. “I have a meeting with Mr. Specter, um, can I, uh…”

“Let me call his assistant.”, the guard replies, picking up a phone receiver. “What’s your name?”

“Mike. Mike Ross.”

Mike doesn’t have time to catch what he tells the person on the phone, the man hangs up and motions for him to go sit on the couches in the waiting area.

“Thanks.”, Mike smiles and walks towards the windows. The woman he sees walking, or rather _running_ on the sidewalk look like clones with their pencil skirts and high heels pumps. Just like Rachel, he thinks and smiles.

He turns around when a finger pokes his shoulder.

“Hi.”, he blushes, realizing the women currently looking at him weirdly probably called his name a dozen times already.

“Mr. Ross?”, she asks. “I’m Samantha, Mr. Specter’s secretary.”, she holds out her hand. “I didn’t see any meeting for today on his schedule.”

“I’m a friend of Harvey, it was a last minute thing.”, he replies, shaking her hand. “We were supposed to meet at 1 but-“

“He’s in a meeting right now but why don’t you come up?”, she smiles and turns on her heel.

Mike’s pretty sure she’s still talking but he just follows her to the elevators and smiles when she looks around and smiles at him. It usually does the trick.

They ride up to the 56th floor with several other sharply dressed and nervous-looking people and when they finally step out of the cabin, Mike takes a deep breath. He’s never been at a law firm before and the whole atmosphere is pretty intimidating.

Luckily, a familiar face quickly appears.

“Mike!”, Donna smiles broadly as she steps out of her glass office. “Thank you Sandra, I’ll take it from here.”, she turns to Harvey’s secretary with a fake smile.

“Um, it’s Samantha.”, the woman smiles shyly.

“Whatever.”, Donna rolls her eyes and grabs Mike’s arm. “How are you? What are you doing here?”

“I’m having lunch with Harvey.”, Mike replies. “We were supposed to meet at 1 but he never showed up.”

“Interesting…”, Donna smirks. “I didn’t know you two were still seeing each other.”

“Well...”, Mike blushes, remembering that she was there when he came back home in tears last week. “He invited me this morning.”

Donna doesn’t say anything, she just wiggles her eyebrow playfully and drags him by the arm along a corridor.

Samantha’s sitting at her desk when they approach what Mike supposes is Harvey’s office and Donna stops dead in her tracks when she looks through the glass walls.

Harvey’s with Jessica and from what she can hear, they’re fighting.

“Maybe we should come back later.”, she turns around and makes a face.

Mike glances over her shoulder and though he obviously can’t hear anything, he can imagine the voice level, if Harvey’s face is any indication. He’s standing behind his desk, speaking rather animatedly, throwing his arms around and spitting words to a woman Mike recognizes as being Jessica Pearson. He saw a couple of articles on her when he did his research on Harvey. She seems completely unfazed, arms folded on her chest, lips pursed in a haughty manner, she’s clearly waiting for Harvey to be done yelling at her.

Harvey must have sensed the movement outside his office because he turns towards the door and he stops dead when his eyes meet with Mike’s. He gives him an apologetic smile and says something to Jessica who nods and steps out of the office.

“Morning, Donna.”, she smiles wickedly at Donna who smiles back knowingly. “Jessica Pearson.”, she offers her hand.

“Mike Ross.”, Mike swallows and shakes her hand. _God, she’s scary_.

“I’ll see you later, Harvey.”, she looks over her shoulder one last time and walks away.

“I’m so sorry.”, Harvey sighs after a quick look at his watch. “I got caught up in something.”

“It’s okay, I didn’t mean to interrupt you but when I didn’t see you-“, Mike begins to say and _god he’s so screwed_. Just seeing Harvey causes his heart to start stomping in his chest and he has to catch his breath. “If it’s a bad time, I can-“

“It’s actually a very good time.”, Harvey smiles. “Did you want something, Donna?”

“Nope.”, Donna grins. “All good!”, she quips before walking away.

 _“Looks like we won’t need to use our plan B after all. Our boys are having lunch together right now!”_ , she quickly types and sends to Rachel.

 

“I’m afraid I don’t have as much time as I thought.”, Harvey says when they step in the elevator. “Something shitty came up.”

“It’s okay.”, Mike swallows and ducks his head.

Being this close to Harvey feels weird and so familiar at the same time.

They ride the elevator in silence and when Harvey places a gentle hand at the small of his back to guide him towards the restaurant, Mike’s heart skips a beat.

 

Lunch goes well, Harvey tells Mike about why he was so upset with Jessica, in great detail, replaying the entire conversation, and Mike laughs at his bad impersonation of her.

“Are you going to Neal’s party?”, Harvey finally asks as they’re about to ask for the tab.

“I don’t know yet.”, Mike replies, looking down at his empty cup of coffee.

“What’s making you hesitate?”, Harvey asks when he looks up again. “Work?”

“No, I… No, it’s not work.”

“You’re probably going to say that I’m an egocentric son of a bitch.”, Harvey chuckles. “But does it have anything to do with, um, _me_?”

“It’s complicated.”, Mike tries a deflection.

“Of course it’s complicated!”, Harvey laughs. “It’s always complicated with you.”, he shakes his head with a smile and it hits him: of course things are complicated for Mike. Everything is complicated when you’re deaf. “Are you afraid you’re not going to _have a good time_ if I’m there?”, he asks with a knowing look.

Mike opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out so he closes it again and Harvey gives him a weird smile, a mixture of tease and bitterness.

“That’s not what I meant when I said that the other day…”, Mike blushes. “It’s…”

“Complicated?”, Harvey offers with a smirk.

“Can we change the subject?”, Mike chuckles awkwardly.

“Say you’re going to Neal’s birthday and then I’ll drop it.”, Harvey finishes his glass and gives him an expectant look.

“I told Neal he’d have an answer by the evening.”, Mike replies.

“He really wants you to come. We all do.”, Harvey nods with a smile. “I’m driving there at noon tomorrow to help Neal with the decorating and set up. If you decide to go and need a ride, let me know.”

“Okay…”, Mike bites his bottom lip.

He already knows he’s going, he made up his mind a long time ago, he just didn’t want to admit it.

“Shall we go?”, Harvey takes out his wallet.

“Yes.”, Mike nods.

 _A whole weekend with Harvey and his friends_. Harvey seems to genuinely want him to be there… He’s not sure about the ride, he’ll ask Rachel how she’s planning on going and make a decision.

 

They walk back to the firm and Harvey lets out a hopeful “See you tomorrow!” before disappearing in the revolving doors. _He’s so screwed_.


	17. Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG this chapter... it's the longest I've ever written (I hope it makes up for the time it took me to update) and it simply DRAINED me.  
> A lot happens in this one, I hope you like it!!!! Let me know!  
> Thanks a lot for your sweet comments and encouraging words and kudos, you're all the reason this whole thing exists. <3

Mike eventually texts Neal to let him know that he’ll come and to apologize for his late response. He chooses to not go there with Harvey and accepts Donna’s offer to drive them in the evening. He’s still not completely sure he made the right choice, but he’s excited. He loves the beach, loves to swim and he had a fantastic time there 2 weeks ago. Getting away from the city for a couple of days is a very nice prospect and he spends the entire day fretting in his apartment. He works on the fencing team pictures, packs a light suitcase with the essentials and when he finally gets tired of waiting for Rachel to come home, he turns on the TV and settles for a documentary on the History Channel.

 

Rachel comes home earlier than usual because Donna’s picking them up at 7:30 and she isn’t done packing. When she arrives, she explains to Mike that Donna’s running late because of a last minute meeting. The party’s tomorrow night but they were supposed to commence the festivities tonight, even if late. If they don’t leave New York before 8, they won’t have time for anything but maybe say goodnight and go to bed.

Mike helps her pack and Donna calls at 8:15 to let them know that she’s finally leaving the firm. She still has to drop by her place to grab her bag so she advises them to eat something as they won’t have time to stop on the way to The Hamptons.

 

She comes to pick them up at 9 and asks Rachel if she doesn’t mind taking the wheel because she’s exhausted. Mike climbs in the backseat and takes out his iPad.

 

The road’s busy, it seems like everybody’s decided to drive to the Hamptons and when they finally arrive at Neal and Nick’s gate, it’s a little after midnight.

They unload the truck and walk to the house. The lights are on but when Donna pushes the doorbell button, it remains unanswered. After another attempt, she grabs the door handle and realizes that it’s unlocked.

“Where the hell are they?”, she asks, dropping her bag in the hallway.

The living room and kitchen are empty and there are 4 pizza boxes and several empty bottles of wine sitting on the dining table. The glass doors opening on the terrace are wide open and the outside lamps are on but still nobody in sight.

“They must be on the beach.”, Donna turns around and nods. “They can’t have gone to bed already, Neal texted me an hour ago.”, she steps outside, Rachel and Mike in tow.

“They _are_ on the beach.”, Rachel chuckles when she hears voices and laughter echoing in the distance. She turns to Mike and points to her ear with a smile.

They take their shoes off and walk down the wooden stairs leading to the sand. They quickly spot them despite the darkness, sitting in a circle around a campfire by the dunes. Next to them is a big pile of sleeping bags and pillows as well as an impressive number of beer bottles.

“Finally!”, Neal yells and gets up when he sees them.

“Traffic was hell…”, Rachel sighs with a smile.

Mike swallows thickly when they reach the little camp. Lucy’s already asleep, curled up in a sleeping bag and they all look pretty drunk.

“Hey!”, Stephen grins drunkenly and waves at them.

“Hey guys.”, Donna waves back. “Oh my god, you’re all _wasted_.”

“Hey, we were waiting for you. You're late.”, Harvey slurs, waving his beer bottle at her, barely able to keep his eyes open. He clears his throat and takes a swig of beer before attempting to get on his feet to greet them.

He manages to get up but falls on his ass when he takes a step.

“Shit.”, he mumbles and looks up. “Hey.”, he smiles sheepishly when he locks eyes with Mike. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Hey.”, Mike chuckles.

“Come on!”, Nick yawns. “Join the circle! Move to the side, Stephen.”, he gives Stephen a gentle push.

“Are you planning on sleeping on the beach?”, Donna asks, walking around the fire to where Stephen and Nick have made room for them.

“We all are!”, Harvey replies cheerfully. “ _My_ awesome idea.”, he points at his chest. “No, no, no!”, he holds up a hand when Mike, Rachel and Donna take a seat on the sand. “Mike, you’re sitting next to me!”

“Shhh you guys…”, Lucy grumbles and rolls over on her side.

“Mike.”, Rachel pokes Mike’s thigh when she understands that he hasn’t seen Harvey’s request. “Harvey wants you to sit next to him.”, she smiles.

“Yes.”, Harvey confirms when Mike looks at him. “Please.”, he smiles, patting the sand next to his crossed legs.

“Okay.”, Mike smiles timidly and gets up.

Harvey grins at him when he sits down and Mike blushes. He turns to look at the burning fire to hide his discomfort. Harvey’s sleepy eyes are full of a fondness Mike’s never seen on Harvey before and though it’s probably because of the alcohol, he finds it hard to look at him.

“I’m not sleeping out here.”, Donna announces, stealing Stephen’s bottle. “It’s freaking cold at night.”

“Oh come on, Don’!”, Neal whines and rests his head on Nick’s shoulder. “It’ll be fun. You need to ease up, you used to be a lot funnier when you were younger, you know?”

“You’re so drunk it’s not even funny…”, Donna sighs dramatically and she finishes Stephen’s bottle in one gulp. “Seriously, though, I’m not sleeping here.”

“That’s because she wants to have sex with Rachel.”, Harvey tells Neal in a very serious tone.

“Shut up, Harvey!”, Donna scolds.

“I wouldn’t mind watching.”, Harvey chuckles drunkenly and he gently pokes Mike with his elbow.

“Sorry, what?”, Mike turns to him and then back to the girls when Harvey starts laughing.

“Don’t mind him, Mike.”, Donna rolls her eyes. “I’m going back inside to sleep in a real bedroom.”, she says, getting up. “Wanna sleep here or in the house?”, she asks Rachel.

“Inside.”, Rachel smiles knowingly.

“You’re no fun at all, girls.”, Neal shakes his head. “You’re staying with us, Mike?”, he asks after he’s made sure he had Mike’s attention.

“Well, um, yes, why not?”, Mike replies.

“Good boy.”, Harvey says, reaching out his hand to squeeze the back of Mike’s neck.

“Good night, drunkasses.”, Donna smiles.

“ _I’ll leave the patio doors unlocked, come back inside if you’re cold, okay?_ ”, Rachel signs, shaking her fists.

“You said _cold_ , didn’t you?”, Harvey asks before Mike has time to reply. “That sign you just did, it means cold, right?”

“Yes.”, Rachel replies, raising an impressed eyebrow.

“See?”, Harvey wiggles his eyebrow at Mike.

“I see that someone’s been doing their homework.”, Donna smirks. “I knew that leaving the DVD at your house was be a good idea. Goodnight.”, she waves.

“’Night, Don’!”, Neal, Nick and Stephen wave back in unison.

“Shhhhhhh!”, Lucy angrily pulls the sleeping back over her head.

Donna chuckles and she grabs Rachel’s hand before walking back to the house.

“We should call it a night.”, Stephen yawns. “Harvey, get me a bag and a pillow.”

“Go get it yourself.”, Harvey mumbles as he lowers his back down to the sand.

“I’ll do it.”, Mike smiles.

He walks to the pile of sleeping bags and gets one for each of them.

“Thanks, Mike.”, Stephen smiles gratefully.

“Harvey?”, Mike looks down at Harvey who appears to be sleeping. “Harvey?”, he repeats, crouching down. “Do you want a pillow or a sleeping bag?”

Harvey mumbles something Mike doesn’t understand and rolls over on his side.

“Is that a yes?”

When he doesn’t get an answer, Mike shakes his head with a smile and drops a sleeping bag and a pillow next to him.

“There you go.”, he says and moves closer to the fire. It’s getting a little cold and he doesn’t really think they should be sleeping out there but he doesn’t mind trying. If he can’t sleep, he’ll go back inside.

He sits down on the sand and looks around: Neal and Nick are already bundled up in their sleeping bags and snuggling, Stephen is fighting with the zipper of his own, a deep frown on his forehead, and Harvey hasn’t moved, he’s still lying on his side, his head resting on one of his hands. Mike smiles to himself and quickly slides in his sleeping bag before heaving out a long satisfied sigh when his head comes into contact with his pillow.

 

“So, Harvey’s learning sign language?”, Rachel asks, stepping out of the bathroom, wearing a sexy black silk nightie.

“Well, he was reluctant at first but I knew that he’d practice on his own if I left the DVD at this place.”, Donna replies as she climbs on the bed.

“Do you think they’ll manage to sleep on the beach?”, Rachel joins her and huddles up against her.

“Some of them might, I mean… the alcohol should keep them warm for a while but poor Mike will probably come back inside at some point during the night.”, Donna chuckles, wrapping an arm around her. “It wasn’t part of the plan, but it’s okay.”

“What plan?”, Rachel frowns and looks up.

“I let Neal into the secret.”, she smiles knowingly. “He was ecstatic and agreed to help me get Mike and Harvey together.”

Rachel shakes her head with a smile. “So what’s the plan?”

“Well, first of all, they’re sharing a room. We’re all getting the same rooms we did last time.”, Donna explains very seriously. “Second of all, no talking about Harvey’s exes or sexual behavior. That was Neal’s idea.”, she says, stroking Rachel’s arm. “Then, we’re going to find excuses to let them spend time together, just the two of them. I don’t know how we’re going to do that yet, but that’s the plan.”, she looks down and smiles proudly.

“You love scheming, don’t you?”, Rachel chuckles and moves even closer to her.

“I guess I do.”, Donna laughs. “Let’s get some sleep, princess.”, she says and leans for a kiss.

“Goodnight.”, Rachel says when they pull apart. “I’m glad you came to see me on Saturday.”

“I’m glad I did.”, Donna replies and she turns off the lights. “I love you.”, she whispers against Rachel’s hair.

“I love you too.”, Rachel says and places a soft kiss on her shoulder.

 

 

Mike wakes up freezing and shaking. The sun isn’t up yet but the sky is a light shade of blue, it must be around 5. The fire has burned out and everybody looks sound asleep from where Mike is lying. He turns around when he feels something moving behind his back. Harvey has moved from where Mike left him hours ago and is currently lying on his back on his sleeping bag right next to him, his head resting on the cool sand. Contrary to Mike, he doesn’t appear to be affected by the cold at all. He’s wearing a t-shirt and a pair of jeans with no shoes and his open mouth tells Mike he’ probably snoring.

Mike sits up and stretches before sliding out of his sleeping bag. He carefully picks it up, unzips it and spreads it over Harvey’s body before grabbing his pillow and waking back to the house. It’s way too cold, he’s never going to go back to sleep.

 

 

When Harvey opens his eyes, the first thing he notices is that Mike is nowhere to be found. He wonders for a moment if he dreamt what he thinks he remembers from last night. He doesn’t remember much but he’s pretty sure he can still picture Rachel and Donna sitting by the fire and Donna rolling her eyes. He remembers Mike and his smile. It cannot have been a dream. But again, neither Donna and Rachel nor Mike are out there.

The second thing he becomes aware of is the pounding headache currently ramming through his head. His mouth is dry and somehow, grains of sand managed to find there way inside it during the night.

He gets up and spits on the sand. The tide is coming in and the small waves are crashing dangerously close to their little camp, so he gathers everything he can in a safer space, closer to the dune, and drags his feet to the house.

He shakes off the sand from his clothes and hair and steps inside the quiet living room. _It wasn’t a dream_. Mike is lying on the couch in his (very tight) white boxers, a dusty pink plaid thrown over his calves and feet. The clock on the wall tells Harvey it’s 10 to 9 and he needs to take a leak and get some water in his system. Maybe they have Ibuprofen in the bathroom.

When he returns to the living room with a glass of water and two pills, Mike has rolled over on his back and is snoring impossibly loud. Harvey settles on the couch across from the one Mike’s sleeping on and puts his feet up on the coffee table. He can’t help a fond smile when Mike stirs and starts mumbling.

He’s so glad Mike decided to come. Now he has two days to convince Mike to give him a second chance. But a second chance for what exactly? Harvey doesn’t know. What he knows is that he likes Mike, that hanging out with Mike makes him happy. Mike makes him smile, he makes him want to be nice, he appeases him. Harvey’s aware that it sounds an awful lot like something he’d rather not even think about right now. He wants to get to know Mike better and he wants Mike to want to know him better. Harvey never really had demand attention. Except his father’s but he stopped trying years ago when he finally got it through his head: he was never going to have it. People come to him, flirt with him, seek counsel from him and even the people who dislike him (the vast majority of them) still can’t seem to be able to ignore him. He’s been called charming, charismatic, magnetic… he’s heard it all and this from a very young age. He’s always had more friends than his brother, drawn more attention than his brother. He never found an explanation for that, especially since his brother is a thousand times more upfront and exuberant than he is, but once he became aware of his “magical power” (as his mother would call it), he began to use it to his advantage. Jobs, girlfriends, boyfriends, loans, friends, enemies, compliments, insults… he never had to ask for anything, to fight for anything, it has always been handed to him. Sure, he’s worked hard at school and then at Harvard to be where he is now, but everything else has been a walk in the park. Mike is basically _everything_ but a walk in the park. Mike is caring, incredibly smart but also very insecure, he’s fascinating and complicated, he keeps Harvey on his toes and not a lot of people have managed that. Harvey gets bored easily and, except for his close friends (and Alex for a while), he likes his relationships uncomplicated and disposable. But what’s bothering him the most with Mike, what’s keeping him interested is that Mike is trying to _resist_ Harvey’s magical powers. And nothing and no one is supposed to resist him…

“Hey!”, Lucy cheers when steps inside the house, pulling him out of his thoughts. “Oops.”, she makes a face and covers her mouth when she spots Mike sleeping on the couch.

“Don’t worry, he can’t here you.”, Harvey chuckles.

“Yeah, that’s right, I keep forgetting it.”, Lucy shakes her head. “How does he even wake up in the morning?”

“He’s got a vibrating alarm clock.”, Harvey replies automatically.

“Oh.”, Lucy nods with a smirk. “And how would you know that?”

“He told me.”, Harvey replies, taking a sip of his glass to hide his embarrassment.

“Right.”, Lucy snorts and walks to the couch. “He’s cute.”, she smiles and gently ruffles Mike’s hair.

Harvey grunts noncommittally in response and finishes his glass.

“I’m going to make coffee and bring it down to the boys.”, Lucy announces, stretching loudly. “Gosh, the sand isn’t comfortable.”, she grimaces and when Harvey doesn’t reply, she raises an eyebrow. “You’re staring.”

“What?”, Harvey straightens up on the couch and clears his throat.

“I’ve never seen you treating anybody with kid gloves.”, she takes a seat on the armrest, right next to Mike’s head. “Why don’t you just ask him out?”

“What makes you think I want to?”, Harvey scoffs. “No, actually, why don’t you mind your own business?”

“Seriously, Harvey.”, she glares at him. “I’m not an idiot, I’ve seen the way you look at him, the way you kept staring at him the last time we were here.”, she holds up a hand to shush the protest forming on Harvey’s lips. “He looks at you that way too so don’t worry, I’m pretty sure he wants the same thing as you.”, she smiles.

“I think you said something about coffee?”, Harvey gets up and walks to the kitchen.

He’s certainly not going to tell her the whole story. He’s certainly not going to tell her that he went out with Mike, that they had a very nice time, that Mike filled his bedroom with the sexiest and most addicting moans he’s ever heard, that Mike fell apart in his bed, that Mike thinks he’s a skirt chaser, that Mike-

“It must be pretty serious…”, Lucy nods to herself pensively. ”Nice deflection, though!”, she says louder and chuckles.

Of course, Mike chooses this exact moment to wake up.

“Morning.”, he rasps, pulling the covers up and giving her a lazy smile.

“Morning, cutie.”, Lucy ruffles his hair again and joins Harvey in the kitchen.

Mike yawns and sleepily puts his clothes back on. He neatly folds the plaid and replaces the couch cushions. The sun is already shining bright and warming the living room. He walks out on the terrace and grins at the ocean. He can’t wait to go for a swim.

He jumps when a hand pats his shoulder.

“Hey.”, Harvey smiles.

“Hey.”, Mike replies and he clears his throat when he feels his voice crackle against the walls of throat.

“We’re bringing coffee to the happy campers.”, Harvey points at a tray he just placed on the outdoor table.

“Need a hand?”, Mike offers.

“Nah, we’re fine, but if you don’t want to have coffee on the beach, go get yourself a cup before Lucy takes it away.”, Harvey replies with a smile.

“No, I’ll go with you.”, Mike nods.

 

Donna sighs contently before pulling Rachel closer to her and burying her face in her hair.

“Morning princess.”, she whispers and gently places a kiss on Rachel’s nape.

“Morning.”, Rachel replies and hums happily. “What should I call you?”, she turns around and grins. “You call me princess, I need to find you a cute name too.”

“I don’t do cute, princess.”, Donna smiles mischievously and closes the space between them.

She slides a hand up Rachel’s thigh and under her nightie, pulling up the fabric, revealing Rachel’s toned tummy and warm breast.

“Harvey was right.”, Rachel pants. “That’s why you wanted us to sleep in the house.”, she smiles.

“It’s just a side benefit.”, Donna replies and she rubs a hand from Rachel’s chest down to her crotch.

“Oh god…”, Rachel moans and opens her legs.

“Yeah, you can call me that.”, Donna whispers against her throat.

 

“Wake up, everybody!”, Lucy yells as they approach the partly deserted camp.

Stephen’s already awake, he’s sitting and rubbing his eyes.

“Morning guys.”, he yawns.

“Morning.”, Mike smiles as Harvey puts the tray down and unzips the sleeping bags he slept in to spread them on the sand so they can sit on them.

“Oh yes, coffee.”, Stephen shimmies out of his sleeping bag and crawls to where they’re set up. “Did you sleep out here?”

“Yep.”, Lucy replies. “But Mike did go back inside.”

“Yeah.”, Mike blushes. “I was freezing.”

“My back hurts like hell but I slept like a baby.”, Lucy says, passing a cup around to Stephen. “Well, when you finally stopped talking, that is.”

“I don’t really remember going to bed…”, Stephen gratefully accepts the proffered cup and Harvey says that he doesn’t remember well either. “What time did you arrive?”, he asks to Mike.

“Around midnight.”, Mike replies. “You were all pretty drunk.”, he laughs a little loudly.

“Shhhhh.”, Neal growls out.

“Time to wake up, birthday boy!”, Lucy stretches an arm to poke his back. “We’ve got coffee.”

“Where are Rachel and Donna?”, Stephen looks around with a confused look.

“In the house.”, Mike replies. “They didn’t want to sleep out there.”

“Girls…”, Stephen sighs.

“Hey!”, Lucy elbows him.

They drink their coffee in companionable silence for a while, Mike taking discreet glances at Harvey from time to time. The always put-together and perfectly dressed and coiffed man is currently staring at his cup of coffee and Mike bites his bottom lip to suppress a smile. He likes the messy hair and sleepy eyes on Harvey. They’re part of the other Harvey, the Harvey who, he just discovered, is apparently learning sign language.

Neal and Nick finally get up and join them and they tell Mike about their evening. Neal and Harvey arrived at the house at 3 in the afternoon and went grocery shopping for tonight’s party. They prepared the bedrooms and did a bit of decorating in the living room, but mostly on the terrace where they set up light and flag garlands. Nick joined them at 6 and Stephen and Lucy arrived for dinner. Then they ordered pizza, ate them while watching a movie and Harvey offered to build a campfire to sleep on the beach.

“We shouldn’t have drunk so much.”, Harvey mumbles, rubbing his temples.

“And we’re back at it tonight.”, Lucy laughs and places a hand on Harvey’s knee. “Poor baby.”

“I’m not drinking tonight.”, Harvey shakes his head.

“Yeah right!”, Neal chuckles. “Let’s do a quick poll! Who thinks Harvey’s going to get shit drunk tonight?”, he asks, raising his hand.

“Sorry, Harvey.”, Stephen smiles and raises his hand, followed by Nick and Lucy.

“Mike?”, Neal asks expectantly.

“Uh, I… I don’t know.”, Mike replies. “I mean, if he says he’s not going to drink, I’m inclined to believe him.”, he turns to Harvey who winks at him.

“See?”, Harvey smirks proudly.

“I think Rachel and Donna would agree with us.”, Neal pours himself another cup. “So what I see is only one person who thinks you’re a man of your words.”, he teases.

“What?!”, Harvey gapes. “I’m the most reliable person in the _world_!”

“Relax, I was just kidding.”, Neal chuckles. “Hey ladies!”, he grins and wave, causing Mike to turn around.

Rachel and Donna are stepping down the stairs. waving at them.

“How are you?”, Donna smiles. “You guys hangover?”

“Harvey is, we’re fine.”, Nick replies, moving to pour them each a cup of coffee.

“I’m not, I just have a headache from sleeping on the freaking sand.”, Harvey rolls his eyes.

“Well, I seem to recall you calling it _your awesome idea_.”, Donna chuckles and takes a seat on the sleeping bag. “But I guess you don’t remember that.”

“Who wants to go for a swim?”, Stephen gets up and asks. “Mike?”

Rachel reaches out a hand to Mike and points at Stephen with a smile.

“Sorry, what?”, Mike jerks around.

“Wanna go swimming?”, Stephen repeats before pulling his t-shirt over his head.

“Now? But I’m not wearing my shorts.”

“Me neither.”, Stephen gets rid of his pants. “But I have this.”, he points at his boxer shorts.

“Oh, then, uh.”, Mike turns to Rachel.

“What?”, Rachel smiles fondly. “Go if you want to go, you don’t need my permission.”

“Right.”, Mike blushes. “Okay.”, he gets up and starts undressing.

Harvey pours himself a cup of coffee to busy himself, decided not to get caught admiring the view of Mike stripping. 

“Who else is in?”, Stephen asks. “Come on, guys!”

“I’m not wearing any underwear.”, Donna replies with a smirk. “And Rachel isn’t either.”

“Hey!”, Rachel frowns but she can’t help laughing. “They don’t need to know that!”

“Naughty girls.”, Lucy wiggles her eyebrows. “I’m in.”, she gets up and strips down to her bra and panties.

“It’s only March you guys, it’s going to be freezing.”, Nick says, stifling a yawn.

“We went swimming two weeks ago, we’re warriors.”, Stephen grins and starts running to the water. “Oh god!”, he yells when his feet get touched by a crashing wave.

“Oh come, pussy, it’s not that cold.”, Lucy turns around to roll her eyes at Mike and the group.

“He just said the water was cold.”, Lucy explains when she sees the frown on Mike’s face. “I told him he was a pussy.”

Mike laughs and takes a deep breath before daring to dip his toes in the ocean.

“Wow.”, he takes a step back. “It _is_ freezing.”

“Now who’s the pussy.”, Stephen turns to Mike and raises an eyebrow.

“ _I_ didn’t call you a pussy!”, Mike protests with a smile.

“What’s wrong with pussies anyway?”, Donna shouts at them, causing everybody to laugh.

Everybody but Harvey, she notices, who’s busy observing Mike. She glances at Neal knowingly and he gives her a discreet thumbs-up.

Lucy, Stephen and Mike start to walk slowly into the water. Stephen curses under his breath with every step and when the water finally reaches their knees, Lucy turns around and winks at her friends on the sand before bending down and splashing water at Mike and Stephen.

“Oh shit!”, Mike exclaims and he tries to run away, which only splashes even more water around.

“Lucy, you’re dead.”, Stephen threatens and starts walking in her direction.

“Catch me if you can!”, Lucy giggles and runs back to the beach.

“Don’t even think about it.”, Harvey pushes her away when she takes refuge behind him.

“Hey, come back!”, Mike calls from the water.

“Come on, Neal.”, Lucy grabs Neal’s arm and pulls on it. “You have to go for a swim, it’s your birthday!”

“No, no, no.”, Neal laughs. “My birthday was a week ago!”

“Come on, Stephen.”, Lucy exclaims grins. "Help me get Neal in the water.”

“No way.”, Neal tries to pry her hands away from his arm, unsuccessfully. “Nick, help me!”, he shrieks.

Nick doesn’t even try to help him, if anything, he moves to the side to give Stephen and Lucy room to get a hold of his boyfriend and lift him from the ground.

“Guys, nooooo!”, Neal pleads, struggling.

“Harvey, help us carry him.”, Stephen pants.

“No way.”, Harvey shakes his head with a smile.

“Help us or you’re next.”, Lucy challenges.

“I don’t think so.”, Harvey says, jumping to his feet.

“Mike!”, she shouts, oblivious to the horror that’s taken place on Harvey’s face, and waves at Mike. “Come on, help us out!”

“Guys, please, let go of me!”, Neal pleads again, but he has accepted his fate and stopped struggling.

Mike runs out of water and back to them. He smiles at Neal to make sure he’s not upset and grabs one of his arms.

“Sorry.”, he snorts.

“Mike, buddy, don’t do that to me!”, Neal begs in between fits of laughter.

They quickly carry him to the water and let go of his arms and legs when a surprisingly big wave crashes over them, getting them soaking wet. The four of them squeal in surprise and Stephen takes this opportunity to take his revenge on Lucy. He trips her up and holds her under the water for a couple of seconds.

“Son of a bitch!”, she pants when she finally get her head out of the water.

Neal strips down to his underwear and the four of them play in the water for about half an hour before the whole group decides to pack their stuff and go back to the house to get ready for the day.

 

Neal distributes the bedrooms casually, citing that Nick and him thought it would be simpler if they all took the same rooms as the last time they were all here. Nick shoots him a confused look but Neal ignores it in favor of returning Donna’s discreet approving nod.

Harvey would normally protest because, unlike Stephen and Lucy, he doesn’t get a room to himself but he’s way too happy to even pretend to be upset. Besides, nobody seems to care so he tries to keep a straight face and carries his overnight bag to the bedroom without a glance for Mike. He needs to keep his distance for now. Letting Mike know how happy he is to share a bed with him would clearly send the wrong message.

“ _You’re sharing a room with Harvey._ ”, Rachel signs when she understands that Mike doesn’t really know where to go and she snorts when she signs the word _asshole_.

“ _I think it’s time to find him a new sign name._ ”, Mike signs with a sigh.

“ _Why?_ ”, Rachel taps her forehead with an exaggerated confused pout. “ _I think it still fits perfectly._ ”, she smiles mischievously.

Mike glares at her and she giggles.

“ _How about ‘handsome’?_ ”, she offers, sliding her fingers on her right cheek and then on the other.

Mike grins and nods before turning on his heel and walking to the bedroom.

Harvey’s sitting on the bed, talking on the phone. When he notices Mike’s presence, he smiles at him and mouths “Paul” before rolling his eyes.

“Say hi to him for me.”, Mike says, hoping it came out as low as he intended it to be.

“Mike says hi.”, Harvey says. “And no, you can’t talk to him because he can’t talk on the phone, _dumbass_.”, he rolls his eyes again and shakes his head, eliciting a chuckle from Mike. “Besides, he’s going to take a shower.”, he quickly adds.

Mike takes it as his cue to grab his toiletries, a change of clothes and lock himself in the bathroom. He wasn’t really planning on showering since he’s hoping to go back in the water this afternoon but he’s glad for the quiet time the shower will provide. It’s not even 11 and he’s already exhausted. Trying to follow conversations is the hardest when he hangs out with hearing people. He doesn’t want people to behave differently around him so he’d never ask them to speak slower or repeat, he’s got Rachel for that. He realizes that he never thanks her for looking after him, for making sure he’s not lost, for taking the time to translate. He makes a mental note to do it after the weekend. She will probably brush it off and tell him she doesn’t mind and that he doesn’t have to thank her but he doesn’t agree. He cannot begin to count all the times she’s helped him… He couldn’t live without her, or very differently. She probably wouldn’t agree with that either, he smiles, heaving a long sigh as the warm water starts pouring over his back.   

When he finally comes out, freshly showered and shaved, the bedroom is empty. Harvey’s bag is resting on the chair by the window and what looks like a change of clothes is sitting on the bed.

The bed they’re both going to sleep in tonight… The last time they slept in the same bed, he slept in Harvey’s arms for the most part of the night. He remembers waking up at some point and realizing that it was never going to happen again and wondering if he should go. He moved to the other side of the bed and when he woke up again, well, he put his clothes back on and hurried out, ignoring Harvey’s attempt at talking. Sleeping in this bed with Harvey tonight will feel weird. Because now he knows what Harvey smells like, what Harvey’s breath against his skin feels like, what his mouth tastes like, what his skin feels like under his fingertips, what his come feels like against his skin. He knows what Harvey looks like when he comes, he knows that his breath hitches right afterwards, before Harvey comes down from his orgasm. " _You’re fucking amazing, you know that?"_

Mike swallows thickly and grabs his camera before leaving the room.

Rachel, Donna, Stephen (all freshly showered) and Harvey are on the terrace, drinking coffee and munching on Oreos.

“Mike!”, Stephen smiles and points at an empty chair.

“I’ll go shower.”, Harvey says when Mike is seated and paying attention.

Neal steps out of the house minutes later and he stops dead in his tracks when he spots something above Mike’s shoulder.

“Oh, don’t move!”, he exclaims and Mike freezes.

“What?”, he asks, doing his best not to move when all he wants to do to is turn around and take a look at what’s got everybody’s attention.

“There’s a huge spider on the handrail behind you.”, Neal grins and Mike gapes in horror. “I’ve got an idea. Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”, he says and runs back in the house.

“Oh no.”, Donna shakes her head with a smile.

“I hate spiders.”, Mike whispers as a shiver runs down his spine.

Neal returns seconds later with a plastic lunch box.

“Oh my god, Harvey’s going to freak out!”, he laughs, walking very slowly towards Mike. “Don’t move, okay?”

Mike shakes his head and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Gotcha!”, Neal closes the box with a triumphant smile.

“Put it away!”, Mike gets up and walks around the table, as far from Neal as he can, joined by Rachel who jumped on her feet as soon as she heard the word “spider”.

“Why is everybody so scared of spiders?”, Neal chuckles. “Harvey is scared stiff of them.”, he explains, putting the box on the table. “He’s going to pass out.”

“That’s not nice.”, Mike remarks, keeping a close eye on the box.

He can see the spider moving inside, probably trying to find a way out.

Donna smiles to herself. She doesn’t really like spiders herself and yes, Harvey’s going to freak out and kill them all, but she understands that this is part of Neal’s plan to “humanize” Harvey. _Genius_.

“He’s always pulling pranks on us, time for revenge.”, Neal smirks. “Let me know when he gets out of the room so I can take this little beauty out of her box.”

 

“What’s in the box?”, Lucy asks when she joins them, shooting a confused look at Rachel and Mike who still haven’t sat back around the table.

“A spider.”, Neal grins. “For Harvey.”

“Oh god, you’re evil.”, Lucy grins back. “Up top!”

They’re about to fistbump when Donna whispers “Shhh, he’s coming.”

Neal quickly opens the box and takes the spiders in one of his hands before closing his fist, suppressing a giggle.

“What?”, Harvey asks when he steps out on the terrace and sees that all eyes are on him.

It only takes a couple of seconds and yet Mike sees it happening as if in slow motion: Neal rushes towards Harvey and opens his fist before dropping the spider into his shirt and running away.

Mike doesn’t hear the scream Harvey lets out but he sees it on his face, which turns white in an instant.

“What the fuck?!”, he yells, paralyzed. “Get it off Neal, get if off!!!”

Of course Neal doesn’t do what he’s told, he watches from a distance, laughing his ass off with Lucy. Donna and Stephen have gotten up and are gaping at the view: the usually cool and collected, holier-than-Thou Harvey paralyzed by fear and screaming like a kid.

“Neal!”, Harvey repeats, his hands trembling. “Somebody, do something!”, he pants and falls to his knees.

That’s when Mike decides that this has gone far enough. He rushes to Harvey’s side and starts unbuttoning his shirt.

“This isn’t cool, guys.”, he crouches down and shakes his head, suddenly more concerned about Harvey than the huge spider.

“Oh come on, Harvey, _man up_!”, Neal wipes his eyes. “Isn’t that what you told me when you put hot pepper on my toothbrush?”

“It’s gone!”, Mike exclaims, resisting the urge to run away when the spider falls off Harvey’s chest and crawls away. “Look.”, he grabs Harvey’s face and makes him look at the spider. “It’s gone.”, he repeats softly, stroking Harvey’s cheeks with his thumbs.

Harvey closes his eyes and moves to sit on the floor. He’s still panting and shaking and his eyes are unfocused when he opens them again.

“Are you okay?”, Mike asks worriedly. “Seriously guys, that was lame.”, he turns to Neal and Lucy and frowns.

“He’s right.”, Rachel agrees. “Is he okay?”, she asks, walking towards them.

“I don’t know.”, Mike replies. “Harvey?”, he asks, leaning in to look at him.

His face is still very, very pale and he’s still breathing erratically.

“I’m okay.”, Harvey says after a moment and clears his throat. “I swear to god, Neal…”, he exhales heavily and starts buttoning his shirt with still trembling hands before attempting to get back up. “Thank you.”, he smiles weakly when Mike helps him.

“Harvey, look-“, Neal begins to say but Harvey shushes him with his hand and the deadliest glare Mike’s ever seen. “Come on, Harv’.”, he tries again but Harvey ignores him and disappears inside the house.

“You have to admit it was a little bit funny.”, Neal looks around with a smug smile. “Cruel, but funny.”

“You’ll be lucky if he ever talks to you again.”, Donna makes a face. “It was fun to watch but I don’t think Harvey found it even remotely funny.”

“That was cruel.”, Rachel shakes her head. “ _Go talk to him_.”, she signs to Mike.

Mike nods and grabs his camera. He doesn’t trust these people with his most prized possession.

“It was for a good cause.”, Neal says as he watches Mike walk inside the house with a satisfied grin. “You’ll see.”

 

The bedroom door was left ajar so Mike knocks softly before pushing it open. Harvey’s phone is lying in the middle of the bed and the bathroom door is closed.

“Harvey?”, Mike calls towards the bathroom.

When he doesn’t get any sign that he can go in, he puts his camera down on his small suitcase and moves to sit on the bed.

That wasn’t funny at all and Mike feels bad for Harvey. He cannot think of anything that would scare the life out of him like spiders and the water scare Harvey. Maybe complete darkness, because it makes him blind on top of being deaf. Maybe losing Rachel, she’s his sister, she’s his only family. He shivers as the thought when the bathroom door opens.

Harvey comes out, looking slightly less pale and a lot more composed, his face still damp from the water Mike supposes he’s splashed over it.

“Okay?”, Mike asks with an apologetic smile.

“Yeah…”, Harvey nods. “Thank you for helping me.”, he runs a hand through his hair.

“No problem.”, Mike smiles.

Harvey takes a seat on the bed next to him and rubs his palms on his jeans nervously. Mike can feel the jumpiness emanating from him, he still hasn’t fully recovered from the scare, his hands are still shaking a bit.

“What else are you afraid of?”, Mike chuckles, hoping to lighten up the mood.

“I think that’s it.”, Harvey turns to him with an embarrassed smile.

“I don’t like spider either.”, Mike explains. “You should see us, Rachel and I, when there’s one in our apartment!”, he laughs. “We run around, waving our arms and screaming. None of us has the guts to kill it so what we do is one us stays and keeps an eye on it while the other goes to ask a neighbor.”

“Thank god they don’t seem to like top floor condos…”, Harvey sighs.

“Hey, I got an idea.”, Mike grins and leaves the bed to get his camera. “Let me show you my pictures, it will help you get your mind off the spider.”

A shiver runs through Harvey’s body at the mention of the brown crawling eight-legged creature and he takes a deep breath.

“Okay, so…”, Mike thinks out loud as he starts pushing buttons around the screen of his camera. “We were in Central Park last weekend and we met this cute dog.”, he looks up and smiles. _Yeah “we” as in Scott and you…_. “Look.”, he hands the camera to Harvey. “You can scroll through the pictures using this button.”

Harvey isn’t a big fan of dogs but Alex used to have a Labrador just like this one and he was the nicest.

“Oh.”, his heart skips a beat when a photo displaying none other than his ex husband appears on the screen.

“This guy is the dog’s owner, he’s a real estate agent, he-“

“Yeah, I know.”, Harvey cuts him. “Alex Blake.”, he turns to Mike. “He’s my ex husband.”

Mike opens his mouth but closes it again instantly. _Of course_ he had to run into Harvey’s ex husband. And the guy had to be nice and hot and fashionable… He understands why everybody in their group of friends liked him, he’s just like them. He fitted in perfectly.

“Um.”, he all but tears the camera from Harvey’s hands. “I also did a photo shoot with a fencing team this week.”, he fumbles with the buttons and Harvey’s pretty sure he saw a hint of jealousy in Mike’s eyes. And he finds the idea to be surprisingly relaxing. “Here.”, Mike hands him back the camera.

Harvey starts flicking through the pictures, suppressing a smile. He doesn’t care much about the fencing team, but Mike’s idea is proving successful as Harvey’s feeling less and less tense with each passing minute.

He looks up when he hears a knock on the door.

“Can I talk to you?”, Neal pops his head around the door, looking a little sheepish.

“Sure.”, Harvey purses his lips.

“Uh, I’m going to leave you two alone.”, Mike nods and quickly leaves the room.

 

 

The rest of the group tells Nick what happened while he was showering and they decide to have a picnic on the beach, much to Mike’s delight. Stephen and Lucy volunteer to take care of the preparations while the others lounge lazily on the terrace.

Mike doesn’t hear it but when Nick suddenly gets up and disappears in the house, Donna explains to him that Neal and Harvey are shouting at each other. She tells him he doesn’t need to worry, Harvey’s a shouter, a _drama queen_ she specifies with an eye roll, especially when he’s embarrassed. Mike remembers Harvey’s face when he shouted at Scott in the Court House lobby and he thinks he wouldn’t want to be Neal right now.

Nick comes back and tells them Harvey kicked him out of the room.

“He’s mad at you all.”, he sighs. “He said you’re all fucking bastards who don’t deserve his friendship.”

“Of for god’s sake…”, Donna mumbles. “Poor Neal. This needs to end now.”, she gets up. “We’re supposed to have a nice time.”

She stomps back inside the house and ignores Stephen’s request to know what’s going on when she walks past the kitchen.

“Harvey!”, she snaps when she opens the bedroom door.

“Get out!”, Harvey points at the door.

“Stop yelling.”, Donna orders. “We all came here to celebrate Neal’s birthday and have a good time together so turn the drama down a notch, will you?”, she puts her hands on her hips and cocks her head.

“And how exactly is throwing a spider down my shirt having a good time?”, Harvey huffs.

“I said I’m sorry, Harv’”, Neal sighs. “I don’t know what else to tell you.”

“Come on, Harvey.”, Donna takes a tentative step towards him. “Let it go.”, she says softly.

“I never thought _you_ , of all people, would let someone do that to me.”, Harvey sneers, shaking his head reproachfully.

“I’m sorry…”, Donna ducks her head. “I knew you didn’t like spiders but I had no idea you’d freak out like that.”

“You guys are…”, Harvey licks his lips. “Nevermind.”, he brushes past her, bumping into her shoulder so hard she almost trips on her feet.

Neal and her heave a long tired sigh when they hear the front door slam shut.

 

“Well, at least the shouting match is over.”, Donna says when she returns to the terrace.

“Did Harvey just leave the house?”, Stephen asks with a concerned look. “I heard a car in the driveway.”

“Yup.”, she replies. “He didn’t take his stuff, he’ll be back, don’t worry.”

“You guys are insensitive.”, Nick says, pushing Neal away, who was leaning in for a kiss. “Seriously baby, did you expect Harvey to just laugh it off?”, he asks, patting his pocket for his phone. “I’m going to go get him.”

Neal sighs loudly and blows a kiss in his direction.

 

 

An hour and a half later, the group is back on the beach. They’ve set up a little camp on the same spot they did yesterday, around the long burned out fire. Towels are spread around, beach umbrellas are planted in the sand, one of them protecting the remaining of their picnic and the drinks from the sun, the other providing shade to a sleeping Mike. Lucy and Stephen are playing in the water, Donna and Rachel are working on their tan and Neal is sitting on a folding chair reading a book.

Nick joins them in his swimming trunks, followed by a brooding Harvey.

“Hey.”, Neal says, tentatively looking over his book.

Harvey nods and takes a seat on the sand next to Donna, who sits up when he does.

“I’m sorry…”, she says, moving closer to him and resting her head on Harvey’s shoulder.

“It’s okay…”, Harvey replies, pressing a quick kiss on her forehead. “Sorry for snapping at you.”

“Hungry?”, she looks up and smiles.

“No, I just had lunch with Nick.”, he replies. “Is he asleep?”, he points at Mike, who’s curled up on a mat, his face hidden under a baseball cap.

“Yeah.”, Donna replies. “ _Obviously._ ”, she adds with a snort when Mike does a weird noise. “Is that really all you brought for a weekend at the beach?”, she straightens up and shoots a look at his shirt and jeans.

“You know I don’t like shorts and I don’t own any swimwear.”, Harvey replies, lowering himself down onto his elbow.

She doesn’t know how she’s going to do it, but one of her tasks for the afternoon involves getting Harvey half naked. Harvey is pretty much everything but an exhibitionist. He takes care of his body, spends fortunes on creams and perfumes, goes to the gym on a very regular basis, tans on his patio, goes to the hairdresser two or three times a month… still, he seems to reserve the privilege of seeing the results of his efforts to his passing lovers. She can count the time she’s seen him shirtless or pantless on the fingers of one hand. Since he doesn’t seem to mind the heat or the sun (he’s not even sweating) and won’t go to the water, she realizes getting him to strip out of his clothes will be a difficult task.

“Hey.”, Lucy smiles broadly when she walks up to them, water dripping from her hair and bikini. “Mike’s still sleeping?”, she asks. “He asked me to wake him at 3, what time is it?”

“2:45.”, Nick replies.

“I got an idea.”, Lucy giggles and she grabs an empty bottle of water.

“Aren’t you done pulling pranks?”, Harvey asks with a pointed look.

“Yeah, we’ve had enough for today, Lucy.”, Nick confirms.

“I’m sure he won’t mind!”, Lucy smiles fondly at Mike and she runs to the water to fill her bottle.

Harvey exhales sharply and stands back up. He walks to where Mike is lying and stops to stand in front of the beach umbrella, arms crossed over his chest.

“Hey, what are you doing?!”, Lucy exclaims. “You look like a bouncer.”, she mocks.

“If you want to splash water over Mike, it’ll be over my dead body.”, Harvey replies in a very serious voice, causing Donna and Rachel to burst out laughing.

“Seriously, Harvey.”, Lucy challenges with a grin. “Move or I’ll empty my bottle on you.”

“I’d love to see you try.”, Harvey raises an eyebrow.

He knows she’d never do it. For starters, she knows he doesn’t like the water. Then, after what happened this morning, he doubts that anybody will try to pick a fight with him.

“Fine…”, Lucy retaliates with a exasperated sigh. “How about this?”, she turns to the side and empties her bottle on Neal.

“Fuck!”, Neal jumps to his feet and drops his book on the sand. “My book, Lucy!”, he yells before breaking into a run to catch her.

“Poor baby.”, Harvey mocks and he turns around when he hears a yawn behind him.

“Hey.”, Mike smiles sleepily. “You’re back.”

“Yeah.”, Harvey smiles back. “Lucy and Stephen are waiting for you in the water.”

“What?”, Mike frowns and puts a hand above his eyes to block the sun.

“Lucy and Stephen are waiting for you to join them in the water.”, he repeats, pointing at the ocean.

“Oh, okay!”, Mike smiles broadly. “You should come dip your feet.”, he adds with a knowing look.

“Nah, everybody seems to be in a playful mood today, I’m not taking that risk.”, Harvey shakes his head with a smile.

“Mike!”, Stephen calls from the water. “Come on!”

“Coming!”, Mike replies though he has no idea what Stephen just said. “What’s up with Neal and Lucy?”, he asks when he spots them chasing each other.

“Oh, they’re just playing.”, Harvey shrugs and Donna turns to Rachel with a smirk.

“I think I’m going to go for a swim.”, Rachel gets up and stretches. “Mike.”, she says, poking his back. “You should put some sunscreen.”, she hands him a tube.

“I already did.”, Mike whines and she gives him a pointed look, eliciting an amused smile from Harvey.

Mike squirts an exaggerated amount of cream into his hand and sloppily applies it to his face, chest and arms.

“Happy?”, he asks, handing the tube to Rachel.

“Turn around.”, Rachel orders and she takes her time to spread an even layer of the monoi-scented cream on Mike’s back.

And no, Harvey’s _not_ looking because he’s _not_ jealous. Okay, he _was_ looking, until Donna caught him staring…

“Good to go!”, Rachel gives Mike’s ass a gentle slap. “Are you coming, Donna?”

“Nah, I’m good, thank you.”, Donna replies.

 

Mike and Stephen spend the better part of the afternoon in the water and Donna even joins them for a quick swim. Neal manages to get his revenge on Lucy by pouring the melted ice cubes from the icebox on her back and they finally call a truce after another chasing session. Mike has put Nick in charge of documenting the afternoon and he takes a lot of pictures, after promising Harvey that not a single one of them is going to end up on Facebook.

It’s nearing 6 when they decide to return to the house to get ready for the party.

It’s still a bit tense between Neal and Harvey but Harvey agreed to help him with the cooking, so he decides to try to put his resentment aside for the night.

Mike takes a quick shower and when he’s done dressing up, he goes to Rachel and Donna’s room to wait for them. He’s always enjoyed watching women get all dressed up. Watching them apply make up, try on different outfits, look at their reflection in the mirror… he finds it fascinating. And neither Rachel nor Donna seems to mind his taking pictures so he improvises a little photo shoot. They’re going to look beautiful in black and white.

 

When the girls are finally ready, the three of them walk to the living room.

“Wow!”, Rachel gapes. “How did they manage to do all that?”

The dining table is covered with dishes of various sizes. There are crudités, dips, canapés and deliciously looking finger food, fruits, a pie, a pizza, chips… and a copious amount of bottles of wine.

“Well, I guess that it goes faster when you’re not talking.”, Donna makes a face.

“A lot faster.”, Harvey confirms, stepping out of the kitchen with a bottle opener. “Shower.”, he says, putting the utensil on the table next to the bottles.

He smiles at Mike when he walks past him and Rachel and Donna exchange a knowing look. They had planned on scheming an evil plan while getting ready but  haven’t really had the chance to talk about anything since Mike came to their room after his shower. It’s going a little slow for Donna’s liking, but after the spider incident and Harvey protecting Mike from Lucy, she’s quite confident that they’ll reach their desired outcome. At least, Mike and Harvey aren’t shying away from each other.

 

Harvey takes a quick shower and pulls on a pair of white jeans and a light blue v-neck (his most “summery” outfit). Neal and him barely exchange a word while preparing the food and though he knows it’s childish and they’re here to celebrate his birthday, he’s still pretty mad at him. He’s known Neal for over a decade, they worked together at the DA’s office and that’s also where Neal and Nick met each other. Neal’s always been a prankster and he’s known for not putting enough thoughts into his actions, but he always gets away with a smile because if Harvey’s a charmer, Neal is _the_ charmer. He knows Neal feels bad and he’s pretty sure Nick scolded him for what he did but Harvey can’t just let it slide, he needs to make his point. None of his friends came to his rescue, thank god Mike was there.

Harvey closes his eyes as he remembers the feel of Mike’s hands on his face. He was completely freaked out and part of what happened is still a blur but Mike’s blue eyes trying to make eye contact and his warm hands on his face… he remembers that perfectly. He wanted to spend time with Mike, not to embarrass himself in front of him and fight with his friends.

He looks at his reflection in the mirror and exhales deeply. He better put this in the back of his mind if he wants to enjoy the party. His hair is still damp but he doesn’t have the courage to even comb it so he puts his toiletries away, grabs his phone and joins his friends on the terrace.

 

It’s a beautiful set up. Beautiful people around a table, surrounded by plants and colorful little flags with a beach background. Stock picture material, Harvey thinks when he steps out.

“Champagne?”, Donna smiles.

“Ah no, thanks.”, Harvey replies, remembering the decision he made this morning. He regrets it right now, but Mike said he believed him and he’s not going to go back on his words.

“Wine?”, she offers.

“No, water is fine.”, Harvey shakes his head and walks to the only empty chair, which is of course next to the birthday boy. He checks the area for a potential spider before sitting down.

“So you were serious when you said you wouldn’t drink…”, Lucy nods, impressed. “Let’s make a toast!”, she raises her glass when Donna hands his glass of water to Harvey. “To Neal!”, she grins. “To his beautiful smile, his gorgeous blue eyes, his dubious sense of humor… and his crappy pranks!”

“To Neal!”, everybody cheers, even Harvey.

“Thank you guys for coming.”, Neal says. “And Harvey…”, he turns to him. “I’m sorry again for what I did this morning. That was insensitive and not cool…”, he purses his lips.

“It’s okay…”, Harvey reluctantly replies.

“Now hug.”, Donna orders.

“Donna…”, Harvey looks at her pointedly.

“Come on, bury the hatchet once and for all and let’s not talk about it again.”, she insists.

Harvey rolls his eyes and accepts Neal’s hug.

“There you go!”, Donna claps. “Should I go get the weed?”, she wiggles her eyebrows.

“Please!”, Stephen exclaims. “It’s our birthday tradition.”, he explains to Mike.

“Yeah, I remember you smoked when we met at Donna’s birthday.”, Mike smiles. “Donna’s sister called you stupid, she say you think it’s cool.”

“It _is_ cool!”, Lucy pours herself another glass of champagne. “Hey, Mike. I’ve been meaning to ask you something. Are you dating the guy from your pictures? The blond cutie?”

“Scott? No!”, Mike blushes as Donna returns with a small pouch, rolling paper and a lighter. “He was my lawyer for my eviction case. We’re friends.”

“But you kissed.”, Rachel throws in with a teasing smile. She was hoping someone would mention Scott so she could casually inform Harvey that he had competition. She hasn’t done much to help with Neal and Donna’s plan so far but she has a feeling this will definitely set the wheels in motion.

“How do you know?!”, Mike asks, his cheeks now burning.

“Scott told me.”, she replies.

Donna is beaming. So that’s the secret weapon Rachel was talking about… When she glances at Harvey, she has to suppress a happy giggle. He doesn’t look affected but she knows him and she’s noticed the very slight twitch in his jaw and, judging by the way his lips are pressed in a thin line, he’s clearly biting the inside of his cheek. This is exactly what they needed to speed things up.

“So you kissed but you’re not seeing each other?”, Lucy frowns.

“No, I, uh… I don’t like him like that, he’s a… he’s a friend.”, Mike replies, licking his lips nervously.

She’s not dumb, first of all, as she’s told Harvey, she’s seen the way they look at each other. Second of all, she knows there’s something going on between Neal and Donna, they’re on to something and she’s just realized what it is. “ _It’s for a good cause, you’ll see._ ”, Neal said. Well, she’s figured out what the good cause is and she’s willing to help.

“That’s a shame, you’re so cute!.”, Lucy pats his knee. “Are you seeing anyone?”, she asks casually, feeling Harvey’s eyes boring a hole in her head.

What happens next is barely noticeable and probably only a handful of people saw it but it confirms Lucy’s theory. Mike’s gives a very quick, very discreet, barely noticeable look at Harvey before answering.

“No.”, he shakes his head. “You?”, he asks and she mentally gives him points for his very nice deflection. _Well played_.

“No, I’m enjoying my freedom.”, she snorts bitterly. “I’m too old to date anyway. It never works out.”

“Oh come on, Lucy.”, Donna smiles. “That’s what I thought and look at me now!”

“I’m not that lucky.”, Lucy sighs. “But it’s okay, I just signed on Tinder and I’m ready to rumble.”, she giggles.

“Tinder, really?”, Stephen huffs. “You deserve much, much more than those hungry married men.”

“Oh, you’re cute.”, Lucy smiles. “Thank you. But seriously, I’m fine.”, she nods and takes a sip of her glass.

Donna glances at Neal and she suppresses a grin when she sees that he already has that are-you-thinking-what-I’m-think look on his face. She knew he’d be in. When they’re done playing matchmaker for Harvey and Mike, they’ll tackle Lucy and Stephen.

 

They have to go back inside for dinner because it’s getting cold. Spring offers beautiful and warm days but the nights are still cold. They spread around the living room in small groups and Neal puts some music on.

“So.”, Rachel corners Harvey in the hallway when he returns from the bathroom. “You’re learning sign language?”, she asks with a playful smile.

“Uh…”, Harvey frowns. “What do you mean?”

“What do you mean ‘ _what do you mean_ ’?”, she snorts and Harvey wonders if she’d had too much champagne. What else could explain that she’s willingly talking to him? “Are you or aren’t you?”

“Did Donna tell you that?”

“No, _you_ did.”, she smirks. “Last night when we arrived, you were all plastered, I’m actually not surprised you don’t remember.”, she laughs. “I told Mike he should come back to the house if he was cold and you recognized the sign for _cold_.”, she explains, doing the sign.

“Oh.”, Harvey nods because he does know this sign. “Donna brought a DVD to my house the other night when we were babysitting my friend’s daughter.”

“You should show Mike.”, Rachel smiles.

“Um, no, I’m not any good… I just, I mean… I, I just know a couple of words and I can’t even sign them, I just, uh.”, he stammers and lets out a frustrated sigh. “We should go back to the living room.”, he mumbles.

Rachel smiles and watches him walk back to the main room. She’s beginning to see the nice man underneath all the sass and cockiness. She’s beginning to see the “great guy” Donna says he is. But, most importantly, she’s beginning to understand why Mike likes him (though she’s pretty sure “like” is an understatement). Mike is in good hands with Harvey. She’s sure of that and that is both a relief and a heartbreak. A relief because if it all goes well for her and Donna, Rachel won’t have to worry about Mike when she decides to move in with her. But also a heartbreak, because she’s not ready to hand Mike over to anyone, let alone a person she doesn’t trust 100% yet, but it’s not her call to make. She’s always hoped he’d find someone who cares about him, who understands his struggles, who sees what a beautiful man he is inside out. Now it’s happening, she needs to step aside and let Mike be his own man, she needs to keep her worries to herself and accept that someone other than her can have Mike’s back.

“What are you doing here?”, Donna startles her by wrapping her hands around her waist from behind.

“God you scared me!”, Rachel huffs and turns around. “I was just going to the bathroom.”, she swallows hard.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, you?”, Rachel smiles reassuringly and plants a quick kiss on Donna’s lips.

“Yep.”, Donna replies. “Make it quick, we’re going to give Neal his present.”, she winks and turns on her heel.

 

Just like the Birkin bag, Neal’s gift is over-the-top and Mike wonders how much money they all make, which must be a fuckload if the gifts they buy for each other is any indication. Mike wasn’t asked by any of them to chip in and he feels a little uncomfortable for coming empty-handed.

Apparently, Neal’s a watch enthusiast and he can’t stop grinning at his new Rolex.

“Seriously guys, thank you so much!”, he exclaims. “I thought this model wasn’t on the market yet!”

“Harvey knows their CEO.”, Nick explains.

“Yeah, Jean-Frédéric and I go way back.”, Harvey replies smugly. “He owed me one.”

“Well, thanks for using your favor for me.”, Neal smiles gratefully and Harvey knows what he means after today’s events.

“Let’s bring the cake and the game.”, Donna says as she begins to clear the coffee table.

“What game?”, Neal asks.

“Cards against humanity.”, she grins.

“Oh god…”, Stephen sighs. “We need more drinks.”, he turns to Mike. “Have you played that before? Last time we did, Donna peed herself.”

“I did not!”, Donna protests.

“You totally did.”, Lucy confirms. “She did.”, she whispers to Rachel who bursts into laughter.

“Whatever.”, Donna shakes her head.

 

They play for over an hour and empty two more bottles of wine. Harvey sticks to lemonade, though he’d kill for a nice glass of scotch.

While nobody pees their pants this time, they all laugh their ass off. Nobody says anything about Mike’s heartfelt yet ear-deafening laugh and Harvey tries to keep the staring at a minimum. Which is not an easy task because Mike is stupidly cute when he’s tipsy: his speech impediment worsens (some what he says is barely understandable), he speaks louder, faster, even more enthusiastically than usual and there’s a permanent smile on his face. _And he kissed Scott_ …

Harvey ends up winning most of the “awesome points” and everybody agrees on saying it’s not fair because Mike was the judge.

 

Lucy calls it a night at 2 and not long after she’s gone to bed, everybody gets up and starts putting things away.

“Need a hand?”, Harvey asks when he steps out on the terrace where Mike is piling up the plates and empty dishes on a tray.

“No, I’m good.”, Mike smiles. “Thanks, though.”

“Did you let me win?”, Harvey walks around the table.

“Maybe.”, Mike giggles.

“Why?”, Harvey asks, stepping closer to Mike.

“Well, your pairings were great and, uh…”, Mike’s heart skips a beat when Harvey places his hands on Mike’s hips. “You, uh, you didn’t have such a great day, so I thought, um…”, he gulps. “… I thought you could use a victory.”

Harvey smiles and pulls him closer, so close their nose are almost touching.

“Harvey, I…”, Mike exhales sharply. “I… I can’t do this, I-“

“Did you really kiss Scott?”, Harvey cuts him, pulling away just a little so that Mike can see his face.

“He kissed me.”, Mike replies, swallowing thickly.

“What kind of kiss?”, Harvey asks. It’s none of his business but right now he doesn’t care. It’s been bugging him all evening, he needs to know.

“Not a real kiss.”, Mike replies and ducks his head, probably to hide his blushing cheeks. It’s rather dark out there, Harvey wouldn’t have noticed anyway, but he thinks it’s cute.

“Good.”, Harvey says, gently lifting Mike’s chin up with his thumb and index finger. “Good.”, he repeats when Mike finally looks at him.

“I...”, Mike shakes his head and tries to shimmy away from Harvey’s hold. “I don’t think I can… no, I can’t…”, he says with pleading eyes.

“You can’t do what?”, Harvey asks, gripping Mike’s hips tighter.

He knows exactly what but he wants Mike to say it so he can tell him that he’s totally off the mark.

“This thing…”, Mike points between them, in the very small space Harvey’s allowed. “I like you too much.”, he bows his head down and his shoulder slump.

Harvey’s heart flutters in his chest and he takes a moment to appreciate what Mike just admitted. He takes a deep breath and lets go of Mike’s hips to grab Mike's face. Alright, he’s not going to tell him he’s wrong, he’s going to _show_ him. He needs to kiss him right now, he needs to kiss him breathless, to erase the taste of Scott’s lips, to claim Mike, to let him know he lo- _likes_ him too.

He crushes their mouth together, causing Mike to let out a surprised sound, and lets his lips do the talking. It doesn’t take long for Mike to part his lips and for their tongue to _finally_ meet. And when they do, Mike _whimpers_ and it takes all of Harvey’s willpower not to take him right here right there on the table. He moves a hand to the back of Mike’s neck and the other to the small of his back and pulls him flush against him. He’s been dreaming of this moment for a week, he’s been wanting to hold Mike, to feel him, to touch him for so long he can’t help a satisfied moan when Mike starts rubbing their crotches together.

“Get a room!”, he hears and instantly pulls away.

Donna is standing in the doorway, arms folded across her chest, a playful smile on her lips.

Mike wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and returns to clearing the table, his heart pounding in his chest, both from the excitement of what just happened and from the embarrassment of getting caught by Donna. He grabs the tray and rushes in the house, keeping his head down so he doesn’t have to make eye contact with Donna.

“What?”, Harvey asks with a half-pointed half-proud look.

“You know what.”, Donna shakes her head with a smile and turns on her heel.

Harvey turns around towards the dark and quiet beach and finally allows himself to smile. He still doesn’t know exactly what he wants, how he wants it, and if he wasn’t so happy right now he’d be scared to death, but he knows one thing for sure: Mike’s _his_.

 

“We did it!”, Donna squeals when she enters the kitchen where Mike and Neal are loading the dishwasher.

Mike doesn’t look up because he hasn’t heard her but Neal does.

“I just caught them kissing on the terrace.”, she explains with a grin.

“Donna, he’s right here.”, Neal makes a face.

“He can’t hear us.”, she rolls her eyes.

“I know, that’s why I think it’s not cool.”, he scolds.

“You’re right.”, she smiles fondly at Mike, whose cheeks are still flushed. “Anyway, even superheroes have to sleep so I’m going to go.”

“Goodnight.”, Neal waves at her and he taps on Mike’s shoulder.

“Goodnight, Mike.”, Donna wiggles her eyebrow when he looks up.

“Goodnight, Donna.”, he replies, immediately returning to his task.

 

Mike, Nick and Neal are the last to go to bed and they part in front of the Mike and Harvey’s bedroom door. He watches them walk down the corridor and takes a deep breath before grabbing the door handle.

Harvey’s in the bathroom, in his boxers, brushing his teeth. He turns around and smiles when Mike enters the bedroom.

Mike replies with a shy smile and walks to his suitcase to get his toiletry bag. He’s pretty much done everything with Harvey: he had dinner with him, he partied with him, got drunk with him, worked on a case with him, helped him get rid of a spider, even had a panic attack with him. And yet, the idea of brushing his teeth with him, the domesticity of this very trivial thing, makes his heart race in his chest. And the fact that Harvey looks fucking gorgeous in his burgundy boxers doesn’t help. How is he so tanned when he spent the day under a beach umbrella in his jeans and t-shirt?

“What do you think?”, Harvey puts his toothbrush down and moves his left index finger horizontally before his mouth.

“You have to use your right hand.”, Mike grins. “But you got it right.”

“How do you say ‘you have to brush your teeth’?”, Harvey asks before turning on the faucet to rinse his toothbrush.

Mike points at him, does a quick round gesture with his index followed by the sign Harvey just did.

“Okay.”, Harvey clears his throat gives it a try.

“Right hand.”, Mike smiles. “And you have to work on your facial expression.”, he signs again with a serious look.

“Right.”, Harvey chuckles and tries again.

“Very good.”, Mike gives him the thumbs up. “You’re a fast learner.” _You’re so fucking gorgeous. Kiss me again._

“I don’t know about that. I will probably have forgotten it by tomorrow morning.”, Harvey wrinkles his nose.

“Just like with everything new you try to learn, you need to practice.”, Mike says and he brings his toothbrush to his mouth.

Harvey leaves the bathroom and Mike quickly brushes his teeth before changing into a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants.

When he comes out of the bathroom, Harvey’s sitting on the bed, back resting against the headboard, and typing on his phone.

“Are you playing?”, Mike asks, joining him on the bed.

“No, I’m typing a email to my assistant.”, Harvey replies, eyes focused on his phone and Mike is amazed by how fast he can type. “I’ll be in court all morning on Monday and there are stuff I need her to do.”

“Okay.”, Mike nods and lies down, as far from Harvey as possible.

He doesn’t really know what he’s supposed to do now. Oh, he knows what he _wants_ to do: he wants to cuddle against Harvey and fall asleep in his arms. And that’s the soft version.

From the corner of his eye, he sees that Harvey’s done typing his email, so he turns his head and smiles expectantly.

“What’s up with the pajamas?”, Harvey gives him a reproachful look.

“Uh.”, Mike swallows and he feels his cheek starting to burn, _again_.

Harvey smirks and moves closer to him.

“Are you afraid I’ll jump on you during the night?”, he asks with a devilish smile.

“No but-“

“Would you mind if I did?”, Harvey smirks.

Mike slowly shakes his head and gulps.

Harvey raises a teasing eyebrow and moves to straddle him. “That’s what I thought.”, he leans forward and presses their lips together.

 _Yes, please_. Mike bucks his hips and wraps his arms around Harvey’s waist, pulling him closer. There’s nothing slow or passionate about this kiss, no tentative licks, no hands cradling his face, no going slow. It’s all teeth and lip biting, their tongues eagerly exploring the other’s mouth, their bodies desperately looking for more and more friction.

Mike opens his eyes when a finger is pressed to his lips.

“Shhh.”, Harvey chuckles, eyes dark with want, lips red and swollen.

“Sorry.”, Mike pants and nods, though he had no idea he was making any noise at all.

Harvey sits up and moves to the side.

“Clothes off.”, he gestures towards Mike’s pajamas.

Mike sits up and quickly removes his t-shirt. He tries hard to not look at Harvey who is waiting, arms crossed, _still in his boxers_ , watching him undress. He’s already half hard and, though it’s definitely not the first time he’ll be naked in front of Harvey, he suddenly feels a bit self-conscious. He slowly starts to untie the strings of his sweatpants and he jumps when Harvey swats his hand away.

“Such a tease.”, Harvey shakes his head with a smile and pushes him back onto the bed.

He kneels between Mike’s legs, grabs the waist of his sweatpants and pulls them off in one quick movement.

“Better.”, he smirks, discarding the offending piece of fabric.

Mike gulps again and looks down at Harvey’s boxers. Harvey’s not just half hard, he’s rock hard and the tip of his cock is peeking out over the top of his boxers. Mike finds himself unable to look away. One of Harvey’s hands comes to cup Harvey's erection and Mike understands why he shushed him when he feels the low moan he lets out vibrating in his throat.

“Sorry.”, he looks up and covers his mouth with a hand.

Harvey doesn’t say anything, he bites his bottom lip and flares his nostrils.

“Harvey…”, Mike tries to whisper as he wraps his fingers around his own cock and starts stroking it lazily. He can’t believe he thought he could live without sex.

Harvey quickly gets rid of his boxers and lowers himself down on Mike before crushing their mouth together for a hungry kiss. Instinctively, Mike wraps his legs around Harvey’s waist and arches his back, causing their cocks to rub against each other.

Harvey breaks the kiss and buries his face in Mike’s neck. Mike can feel him breathing erratically against his collarbones and he shivers at the sensation, arching his back even more.

Harvey suddenly stops moving and looks up.

“I…”, he squeezes his eyes shut and exhales deeply before kneeling back up. “I want to fuck you…”, he pants. “ _So bad_ … you have no idea.”, he swallows thickly and grabs Mike’s cock, which twitches as precom oozes from its slit. “But, uh, I’m not going to do it tonight.”, he shakes his head and gives Mike’s cock a sharp stroke. “When we do this, I want us to be totally alone and I want to fuck you and make you come until you can’t even talk anymore and…”, he licks his lips and he starts stroking Mike earnestly. “I want to hear you scream and I want to make you come and come again and fuck you again in the morning when you’re still loose and open for me, just for me-.”

That’s when Mike looses it. He has to close his eyes when his orgasm washes over him and he doesn’t care if the whole universe hears him because he can’t contain it anymore. His whole body tenses and he feels the hot spurts of come landing on his stomach and chest and then he feels Harvey’s other hand cupping his face and Harvey’s lips crashing down on his own. This is what Heaven must be like, he thinks, his body slowly coming down from the amazing, indescribable high.

Harvey breaks the kiss and presses their foreheads together and when Mike feels warmness on his stomach again, he understands that Harvey’s coming. He doesn’t want to open his eyes yet, he wants to feel Harvey’s breath hitching against his own mouth, feel every tremor running through Harvey’s body.

After a long moment, Harvey finally slumps over Mike’s body and places a soft kiss on his nose, causing Mike to finally open his eyes again.

“You’re amazing.”, Harvey smiles fondly and Mike’s heart skips a beat. “I’m sure the whole house knows what we’ve been up to but I don’t fucking care.”, he chuckles and gently pushes away a strand of hair off Mike’s sweaty forehead.

Mike snorts and lets out a long satisfied sigh.

Harvey kisses his nose again and moves to the side, reaching out an arm to grab the box of tissues sitting on the bedside table.

“So, you like me?”, he asks with a proud smirk as he wipes the come off Mike’s chest.

“That’s what I said, yes.”, Mike replies with a pointed look.

“Good.”, Harvey nods and throws the stained tissues on the floor. “Because I like you too.”, he leans in. “Very much.”, he adds before kissing Mike again.

It’s gentler, slower, less hurried this time and Mike smiles against Harvey’s lips. How did he get so lucky?

“We should get some sleep.”, Harvey yawns when he pulls away. “ _Goodnight._ ”, he signs with an expectant look.

“ _Goodnight._ ”, Mike signs with a grin.

Harvey turns off the lights and wraps an arm around Mike’s shoulder when he settles on his chest. Mike closes his eyes and smiles. A week ago, he was sad and angry after his dinner with Harvey, he thought he’d never see him again. Now he wonders how he ever lived without him. And that’s the last thought running through his mind before he falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm [SoSauffie](http://sosauffie.tumblr.com) on tumblr!


	18. Ha'vey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got inspired haha  
> Here's a new chapter. I'm going away at the end of the week for 4 days during which I won't have time to write. I'll try to post another chapter by then.  
> Thanks a lot for your wonderful reviews on the previous chapter!!!!!! <3 <3

“Mike…”, Harvey mumbles wearily, pushing Mike away for the fifth time in what feels like an endless night.

Every time Harvey is woken up by Mike’s snores, he pushes him to the other side of the bed, which causes Mike to stop snoring for a moment, long enough for Harvey to go back to sleep. But the thing is that Mike automatically crawls back to Harvey, settles back on his chest and inevitably wakes him up again.

“Mike…”, he says again and opens his eyes.

 _Fucking endless night_ … The sun isn’t even up and yet, Harvey feels like he’s been drifting in and out of sleep for 10 hours. The room is mostly dark except for the light provided by the moon. His phone tells him it’s only 4:03, which means they’ve been sleeping (or trying to sleep, for Harvey) for barely an hour and half. _Just great…_

He rubs his face and pushes Mike to the side again before leaving the bed to go to the bathroom.

When he comes out, Mike is sitting on the bed, scratching his head and yawning.

“Harvey?”, he rasps and props himself on his knees when Harvey climbs back on the bed.

Harvey doesn’t reply because he knows Mike can’t see him well enough to read his lips. Instead, he crawls towards him and takes him in his arms.

“What time is it?”, Mike asks, rubbing his nose in the crook of Harvey’s neck.

Harvey considers pulling away and grabbing his phone to show Mike but decides to try something instead. He presses four kisses to the top of Mike’s head.

“It’s 4 am?”, Mike giggles sleepily and Harvey chuckles before kissing Mike’s hair again as a confirmation.

Mike straightens up and grabs Harvey’s face with both hands before leaning in for a kiss.

“Did I wake you up?”, Mike breathes against his lips and Harvey nods. “Sorry…”, he whispers and kisses him again, deeper, and Harvey can’t help but moan when Mike rolls his hips teasingly.

He reaches a hand between their bodies and moans again when his fingers brush against Mike’s already very hard and throbbing cock. _God_ , they’re going to have so much fun when they’re back in New York.

“Harvey…”, Mike moans loudly and presses his mouth against Harvey’s shoulder to muffle the sound.

He tentatively reaches down for Harvey’s cock and moans again when he touches it. _For the first time._ He’s felt it against his own cock, he’s seen it, but he has never touched it. He runs his fingertips up and down the warm and thick length, just brushing, barely touching, biting his lip to stifle a moan. He wishes Harvey hadn’t told him about the sounds he makes because he’s having a hard time focusing on the beautiful cock offered to him and keeping quiet a the same time.

When Mike doesn’t immediately take Harvey’s cock in hand, Harvey realizes it’s the first time Mike touches it, the first time Mike gets to touch a cock other than his own. So he lets Mike appreciate it, lets him take his time to get acquainted with it, lets him set the pace of his tantalizing touch.

“Fuck, Mike…”, he says through greeted teeth after a moment and he gives Mike’s cock a couple of sharp strokes to let him know that it’s time to crank things up a gear.

“Harvey!”, Mike cries out and Harvey kisses him to shush him.

At least it’s got the desired effect as Mike wraps his fingers tightly around Harvey’s cock, which twitches in response.

When Harvey breaks the kiss, Mike buries his face in Harvey’s neck again and closes his eyes. He could stay like this forever, drowned in Harvey’s scent, Harvey’s cock pulsing against his palm and fingers. It’s all so much better, so much sexier, so much more overwhelming than he expected it to be. He knew he’d love to have sex and he loves masturbating but _this_ … this is better than jumping in the water after a hot day, better than his Grammy’s cookies after a long school day, better than anything he’s ever experienced.

When Harvey’s cock twitches again, he runs his thumb across the slit, spreading the precome over the head. He lifts his head up and pulls away just a little before bringing his thumb to his mouth.

Harvey gulps at the sight of Mike’s tongue lapping the pad of his finger and revels in the pleased little sound he makes before taking Harvey’s cock in hand again.

“Fuck.”, he exhales sharply and speeds his movements on Mike’s cock.

“Oh god…”, Mike murmurs, tilting his head back, his hand stopping and squeezing Harvey’s cock.

Harvey wants a taste of him too, he wants to watch Mike fall part again, he wants to feel it in his mouth. So he lets go of Mike’s cock, gently removes Mike’s hand from his own and places a hand on Mike’s chest, pushing a little. And Mike gets it, he lies down on his back and opens his legs. _Such a good boy_. He moves to kneel between Mike’s inviting legs and bends forward before teasingly running his tongue up and down the length of Mike’s cock.

“Harv-”, Mike groans as he bucks his hips. “Please…”

Harvey smiles and takes Mike’s cock in his mouth while squeezing at the base.

“Oh fuck! Fuck! Harvey… Oh god!”

 _Okay_. Mike definitely doesn’t want to keep quiet. It’s hot as hell and every moan, every word, every hitching breath goes straight to Harvey’s cock but Mike needs to stop yelling. Right now.

Harvey stops dead and climbs on top of Mike.

“Shhhh.”, he whispers, pressing a finger against Mike’s parted lips and pulls him into searing kiss.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry…”, Mike breathes in Harvey’s mouth, rolling and bucking his hips. “Please, Harvey…”

Harvey breaks the kiss and presses his index finger to Mike’s lips one more time before kissing his way down from Mike’s chin to his cock, licking and sucking every patch of skin his lips meet while pining Mike’s hips to the bed.

It doesn’t take much for Harvey to make him come afterwards. A couple of long and rapid strokes, barely 20 seconds of bobbing up and down his throbbing shaft and Mike is (almost silently) releasing himself in Harvey’s mouth, eyes squeezed shut, clutching the sheets and biting his bottom lip so hard it turns white.

“Good boy.”, Harvey pants, moving up to pull him into a kiss, to make Mike taste himself on his tongue.

He licks and kisses Mike’s worried lip for a while, gently stroking his cheek and whispering praises he knows Mike can’t hear but which he needs to let out.

“Harvey…”, Mike whimpers and Harvey thinks he’ll never get tired of hearing Mike say his name, whether in bed or not. The way he doesn’t really pronounce the “r”, it can be both cute and really hot, depending on the situation. “Can I…”, he pauses and slides a hand between their bodies. “Can I suck your cock?”

 _Fuck_. Harvey closes his eyes and stops breathing when Mike starts stroking him. _How is that even a question?_ He slowly rolls to the side and Mike follows the movement until he’s kneeling between Harvey’s legs, Harvey’s cock still in his hand.

The last person who sucked him was Alex, three weeks ago, right before calling what they had just shared a “farewell fuck”. Then there was Ella but, unsurprisingly, she didn’t go down on him. Harvey’s found that one-night stands usually don’t do that, as if fucking was fine but sucking and licking was a little too personal… Which is a shame because Harvey likes to do it (on both women and men) as much as he likes being on the receiving end of a skilled mouth.

Mike might not be as experienced as some of his conquests but when he takes Harvey’s cock in his mouth until the tip touches the back of his throat and doesn’t even gag, Harvey decides he’s got immense potential.

“Fuck.”, he mumbles, burying his hands in Mike’s hair, not pushing, just touching, petting almost, to let him know that he’s doing it right. _So fucking right_.

So right Harvey wonders how many hours he spent watching porn because nobody’s born with a _technique_ and Mike’s technique, though perfectible, is amazing for someone who’s never done that before. Plus, he seems to really enjoy sucking Harvey’s cock and it plays a very important part in the action. For Harvey, if his partner’s not having as much fun as he is, it kind of ruins the mood.

He can hear that Mike’s trying his hardest to not make too much noise but he still lets out little moans and hums quietly, the sound vibrating in his mouth and against Harvey’s cock, making it hard for Harvey to keep quiet. So he bites his lips and bucks his hips, his fingers tugging on Mike’s hair, just a little.

“Mike, I’m gonna-“, Harvey begins to say but realizes there’s no way he has time to find a way to let Mike know that he’s going to come in his mouth _right the fuck now_.

He clenches his jaws tightly and takes his hands off of Mike’s hair so he knows he can pull away if he needs to. But he doesn’t, he swallows Harvey’s come, sucking on the tip of his cock, stroking the length with one of his hands, the other firmly gripping Harvey’s hip.

Mike kneels back up when Harvey’s body finally stops shaking and Harvey’s pretty sure he sees a smile on his face. He chuckles and sits up, takes Mike’s face in his hands and plants a quick kiss on his lips.

“Are you glad I woke you up?”, Mike asks, placing his hands on each side of Harvey’s face so he can feel his answer and Harvey nods and chuckles. “I’m glad I did too.”, Mike giggles (a little too loudly) and brings their lips together.

They both yawn and Harvey wraps his arms around Mike before lying back down. Mike shuffles to the side and reclaims his spot on Harvey’s chest.

Harvey kisses Mike’s sweaty forehead before closing his eyes when Mike’s breath starts turning into a quiet snore.

“I lov’ you, Ha’vey…”, Mike mumbles sleepily and Harvey’s heart misses a couple of beats.

He swallows thickly and decides to impute this confession to what just happened. He’s felt like telling a bed partner he loved them after a good fuck in the past. It’s perfectly natural, especially given Mike’s lack of experience. It’s the only logical explanation anyway because there’s no way Mike meant what he said and Harvey doesn’t want him to. Mike _likes_ him, he doesn’t _love_ him…

Luckily, Harvey quickly finds sleep, hoping the rest of night goes undisturbed.

 

 

When Mike opens his eyes, he feels giddy and excited and he remembers why when he looks to the side. He props himself on one elbow and proceeds to observe the man lying on his front next to him.

Mike doesn’t have “a type”, he’s never really given it a thought before but what he knows is that he loves manly men. Tall and strong men. He’s not short himself and Harvey’s about his height, maybe just a little taller, but he’s way bulkier than him, way stronger. Mike thinks it’s a shame he doesn’t wear tighter clothes, or fewer clothes (who wears jeans and a shirt at the beach?) because Harvey could pull off any look with his broad shoulders, long and lean legs and amazing ass.

That last thought seems to go straight to his cock and sits up on the bed and takes it in his hand. It’s much more fun, much more intense to jerk off to a real person, not a fantasy, not a video. A real person who sucked him off in the middle of the night. A real person who is fucking gorgeous, perfect. A real person who wants to fuck him and make him come and come again…

He’s fully erect and leaking now and maybe he wasn’t as quiet as he thought he was or maybe it’s just very bad (good?) timing but Harvey wakes up at that moment, stirring and rolling on his back before opening his eyes.

“Well, good morning to you too.”, he chuckles when he sees Mike, blinking to adjust to the morning light.

Mike swallows hard but doesn’t stop stroking himself, he only slows down.

“I should hire you as my alarm clock.”, Harvey smirks and he motions for Mike to climb on top of him. “You’d wake me up with your moans at a given time and I’d fuck you good morning.”, he helps Mike settle and grabs Mike’s cock.

“I’m always looking for new clients.”, Mike tries to sound sassy but his panting and pleading eyes don’t really match his tone.

“You’d be mine and only _mine_.”, Harvey gives Mike’s cock several long strokes. “No more new clients.”

“I’d sign up for that.”, Mike moans loudly, closing his eyes and tilting his head back.

Harvey rolls his hips and moves a little so that his hardening cock can lodge itself between Mike’s ass cheeks and starts stroking Mike’s cock earnestly, rubbing his own cock in Mike’s crack at a matching rhythm.

Yeah, they’re going to have so much fun together, there are so many new things for Mike to try, so many things Harvey wants to do to him…

His breath hitches when Mike opens his eyes and looks at him before reaching a hand behind him and pressing Harvey’s cock against his ass.

“God Mike…”, he breathes. “I can’t wait to be inside you.”, he rolls his hips faster and his hand speeds up on Mike’s cock. _So, so much fun_.

Mike squeezes his eyes shut and bites his bottom lip. He must be close. Harvey strokes him even faster and when Mike suddenly arches his back and stills, causing Harvey’s cock to bury itself deeper in Mike’s crack, when he feels the warmth, when Mike’s thumb brushes against the leaking tip of his cock, when Mike starts emptying himself on Harvey’s hand and stomach, Harvey lets it go and comes whispering Mike’s name.

“Good morning.”, Mike giggles, slumping down on him and crushing their lips together.

Harvey smiles against Mike’s lips and wraps his arms around him, pulling him closer.

“You’re hired.”, he pants when they finally pull apart.

 

 

“Hey.”, Donna smiles when she steps out on the terrace where Neal, Nick and Lucy are drinking coffee.

“Hey Don’.”, Neal yawns and waves at her sleepily. “Where’s Rachel?”

“She went for a run an hour ago.”, Donna takes a seat a grabs a mug.

She pours some coffee and grabs a croissant and when she looks up, Neal, Nick and Lucy are looking all looking at her with a knowing smile.

“What?”, she asking, frowning.

“Did you sleep well?”, Lucy snorts.

“Yes, why do you ask?”, Donna takes a bite of her croissant and frowns again. “What’s going on guys?”, she asks with her mouth full.

“You didn’t hear anything during the night?”, Neal snorts.

“Um, no.”, Donna shakes her head. “What was I supposed to hear?”

“Harvey and Mike?”, Lucy raises an eyebrow. “Around 4 in the morning?”

“I didn’t hear anything.”, Donna smiles.

“Well, you’re lucky.”, Lucy snorts. “With just a wall between them and I, I couldn’t help but hear _everything_. And boy, Mike is _loud_!”, she laughs as Rachel arrives, returning from her run.

“Hey.”, Donna smiles and pats her knees. “Apparently, Mike and Harvey had a lot of fun last night.”, she says, wrapping her arms around Rachel when she sits down on her lap.

“Oh, I heard something but I thought it was you guys.”, Rachel laughs, pointing at Neal and Nick.

“No way.”, Neal sighs. “Nick was _tired_.”, he makes a face. “And we try to not scream our lungs out when we’re having guests anyway.”, he chuckles.

“Oh, everybody shut up.”, Lucy clears our throat. “They’re coming.”, she straightens up on her chair and grabs her mug.

“Hey guys.”, Donna cheers with a knowing smile when Mike and Harvey step out in the terrace. “Sleep well?”

“Hey.”, Harvey replies casually. “Yeah, you?”, he asks, sitting down.

“Not as good as you, from what I’ve heard.”, Lucy teases. “But yeah.”

Harvey shoots her a pointed look and pours two cups of coffee before handing one to Mike who’s busy checking his phone, oblivious to what’s being said.

“Thanks.”, Mike smiles when he looks up. “Hey Rach, someone left me a voicemail, could you listen to it for me please?”, he asks, handing his phone to Rachel.

“Sure.”, Rachel holds the phone to her ear. “So…”, she clears her throat and narrows her eyes. “Hey Mike, it’s Alex, Alexander Blake, we met in Central Park last week and you gave me your card.”, she says. “I just realized that’s kind of dumb of me to leave you a message…”, she continues and reproduces a chuckle. “But I’ve talked to my business partner about working with you and she’s on board with the idea. I have an opening in my schedule tomorrow morning, that’d be great if you could meet us then because I’m going away for two weeks on Tuesday for personal reasons and I’d like to discuss this with before you I go. I’ll send you a text tonight if I don’t hear from you before then. Sorry again for the voicemail and for bothering you on a Sunday. Bye.”

Everybody stays awkwardly silent for a while once Rachel is done reciting the voicemail and she looks around the table with a confused look.

“Thanks.”, Mike slides his phone back in his pocket and keeps his eyes fixed on his cup.

“Wait.”, Lucy holds up a hand. “Was it Harvey’s Alex?”, she asks.

“What do you mean?”, Rachel asks.

“Yes it was.”, Harvey replies, hoping it will suffice and they’ll change the subject.

“Who is _Harvey’s Alex_?”, Rachel asks.

“Harvey’s ex husband.”, Donna explains.

“Oh yeah, that’s right.”, Rachel nods, remembering, and reaches out to wave a hand in front of Mike’s face. “You know Alex?”, she asks when he looks up.

“We met last week.”, Mike replies. “I was with Scott in Central Park, he was walking his dog. We talked and when he learned that I was a photographer, he said he’d talk to his partner to see if we could work something out.”, he explains. “I had no idea who he was. Harvey told me yesterday.”

“Oh okay.”, Rachel smiles. “ _Awkward_.”, she turns to Donna and mouths.

“He’s a great guy.”, Neal nods and clears his throat when Donna shoots him a pointed look. “Um, what should we do today?”, he asks with a broad smile.

“I can’t stay all day.”, Donna replies. “I have a meeting to prepare, I’m driving back after lunch.”

“You always do that!”, Neal whines. “I’m beginning to think you do it on purpose so you don’t have to help us clean the house.”

“What?!”, Donna gapes. “I did all the cleaning yesterday!”

“He’s just messing with you.”, Nick chuckles. “Thanks for yesterday.”

“Hey, where’s Stephen?”, Lucy asks.

“He’s still sleeping, I guess.”, Nick replies. “He was pretty drunk last night.”, he gets up. “I’m going to go wake him up. We should do a picnic before Donna and Rachel leave.”, he suggests before going back inside the house.

“Yes!”, Mike agrees enthusiastically, failing to notice that Nick didn’t include him in Donna’s ride back to New York.

“You don’t even care about the picnic.”, Harvey shakes his head with a fond smile. “You just want to go swimming.”

He realizes he didn’t make sure Mike could see him when Mike doesn’t say anything and Rachel automatically signs something, which Harvey guesses is what he just said.

“Oh.”, Mike turns to Harvey with a smile. “Well, yeah, I’d love to go for one last swim.”, he blushes.

“I’m not leaving until late this afternoon so if you want to stay and go back to New York with me…”, Harvey offers and he suppresses an eye roll when Mike turns to Rachel with an expectant look.

“Mike…”, Rachel sighs. “It’s up to you, not to me.”, she smiles.

“Okay then.”, Mike nods.

“Let’s all grab a shower and pack up.”, Donna gives Rachel’s thigh a gentle slap and they both get up. “Let’s meet here in an hour. I’ll take care of preparing the picnic, Neal.”, she gives him a look. “Will that be helping enough?”

“I was joking, Don’”, Neal protests. “But yes, that’d be really nice.”

Donna smirks and grabs Rachel’s hand before walking back in the house.

 

 

“Are you going to text him?”, Harvey asks when they’re packing in their room. “I mean, Alex.”, he adds when Mike frowns.

“Uh, yeah, um, it could be recurring thing.”, Mike replies. “He needs professional photos of the apartments and houses he sells.”

Harvey nods and returns to folding his clothes.

“Why?”, Mike asks.

“I was just wondering.”, Harvey replies, not looking up. “I was just wondering.”, he repeats, looking up this time.

It must not be easy to have an argument with a deaf person, he realizes. Not that they’re having an argument, not at all, Harvey doesn’t have a problem with Mike working for his ex, he doesn’t. He doesn’t because he shouldn’t. It’s work. And Mike’s bound to meet a lot of people for work and Harvey better not think about it because that’s how it is, he cannot cuff him to his bed for the rest of his life, as appealing as it sounds.

Mike smiles and walks to him.

“Do you have a problem with that?”, he asks, grinning.

“What? No, I don’t get jealous, I just think that it’s a little weird, considering-“, Harvey begins to say but he’s stopped by Mike pulling him into a kiss.

“I didn’t ask if you were jealous, but it’s noted that you don’t get jealous.”, Mike smiles into the kiss and pulls him closer. “I think we should go shower.”, he whispers hotly.

What the hell happened to the shy man he met just 3 weeks ago?, Harvey thinks when Mike presses their groins together. It makes sense, though, that after so many years of abstinence Mike would want to catch up. But Harvey’s not 28 years old anymore and he’s barely slept last night and he had an orgasm just an hour ago. It’s usually his partners who can’t keep up with him but he has a feeling it's going to be the other way around with Mike.

“I think…”, he pulls away and smiles. “I think we should refrain from any more _action_ until we’re back in New York.”, he chuckles when Mike lets out a loud whine. “Everybody heard us last night.”

“Oh my god, they did?!”, Mike takes a step back and blushes.

“Yep.”, Harvey nods and puts the clothes he just folded in his bag. “You weren’t paying attention during breakfast but Lucy mentioned it and everybody laughed.”

“Sorry…”, Mike smiles apologetically.

“No need to apologize.”, Harvey snorts. “But we should keep a low profile for now.”, he smiles and tilts his head towards the bathroom. “You go first.”

 

 

Donna prepares a nice picnic with fresh vegetables and fruits as well as leftovers from the birthday dinner. No alcohol, just water and sodas, much to Lucy’s dismay. The usual swimmers wolf down their lunch and run to the water despite Donna’s warning that it’s not a good idea to go swimming right after eating.

At 2:30, Donna and Rachel say their goodbye to the group, except Harvey who’s taking a nap under a beach umbrella, and Rachel thanks Neal and Nick profusely before waving at Mike.

Donna’s told her what she saw when she caught them kissing last night and she’s heard some suspicious sounds during the night but she can’t wait for Mike to tell her exactly what happened.

They must have cleared things up, otherwise nothing would have happened between him and Harvey. Mike isn’t looking for casual sex, he’s told her he "likes" Harvey but she knows him, she knows there's more than "like", and he probably think he’s being very subtle but he’s not. The way he rushed to Harvey’s side after the spider prank, the way he looks at Harvey when he knows Harvey’s not looking, the way he smiles at Harvey. She’d never seen that smile before and god knows Mike smiles a lot. They must have cleared things up or at least she hopes they did because she never wants to see Mike suffer like he did last week again…

Rachel had an interesting conversation with Lucy yesterday, right before Lucy decided to go to bed. While the others were clearing the coffee table after the game of Cards against Humanity, she joined Lucy on the terrace to get some air. Lucy was a little drunk and seemed to want to talk. She told her she was happy for Donna and her, that she seemed like the perfect girl for Donna, sweet and smart. They talked about Harvey and Mike and Lucy told her that she dated Harvey for 6 months years ago. And when Rachel asked her what it was like, why they broke up, the answer she gave her almost erased all the progress she’d made on liking Harvey and trusting him with Mike. Lucy told her Harvey has a problem with faithfulness, that he always wants more, that he can’t just settle for one person, that he needs constant attention, constant novelty. She said Harvey is a great friend but a terrible boyfriend. According to her, he’s got serious trust issues and a lot of insecurities, even if he appears to be all confident and smug. She said she knew that when they started dating but still wanted to give it a try because she was in love with him, had been for years. She didn’t say she regretted dating him, though, at least now she knows they can’t be together and they’re better off as friends anyway.

Rachel’s not sure why Lucy told her that when it’s clear she was on board with getting Harvey and Mike together and she wishes she hadn’t told her because she’s had an agitated night and she can’t get those words out of her head now. Lucy basically confirmed that she was right to worry about Mike.

She’s not so sure about it anymore, but she won’t tell Mike any of what Lucy told her, it’s not her place to say, he’s already too dependent on her, he’d do whatever she tells him to do and she can’t choose for him. Not for that. She can tell him what to wear when he’s not sure, tell him what she thinks of people he introduces her to… but she can’t tell him who to date and even if she did, she can’t control his heart anyway.

After her conversation with Lucy, she studied Harvey. For clues, for signs that he has changed, for something to tell her she shouldn’t worry. There’s something about him but she can’t quite pinpoint it. Harvey’s a very handsome man, probably one of the most handsome men she’s met and he’s everything she knows Mike likes: tall, strong-built with a strong voice (though it makes her sad that Mike will never hear it, because he’d love it) and a great sense of humor. But there’s something in his eyes and in his smile, something captivating, which explains why he’s so popular, why nobody seems to be able to resist him, why he can’t go unnoticed. Something scary too. A wound, a scar, a sadness he tries to hide behind a insufferable personality and layers of clothes. She has to admit it works. If she hadn’t spent so much time with him, if she’d only met him through work, she would have simply stored him in her “basic jerks” box. But she’s had time to get to know him, she’s seen the real him, or at least what he agrees to share of the real him, because even “personal Harvey” is controlled, measured and carefully rehearsed. Harvey’s not an open person, which makes him the opposite of Mike in that regard. And such a huge difference in their personalities is bound to cause trouble.

He’s Mike’s first… what, boyfriend? Are they together? They didn’t seem any closer this morning despite their night “activities”, they didn’t even sit next to each other at the breakfast table and Mike spent the whole lunchtime in the water. Whatever they are, it’s a first for Mike and she can tell him to be careful and take his time all she wants, she knows it will only end up in fights. She needs to let him learn from his own experience. Of course she’ll be there for him no matter what. That’s all she can do.

 

The rest of the group spends the afternoon on the beach. At 5 they decide to go back to the house to finish with the cleaning. Those who went to the water grab a quick shower while the others take out the trash, change the bed sheets and empty the content of the fridge into large iceboxes. They leave the premises at 6 with the promise to meet again soon.

“We should have stayed for another hour at least.”, Harvey yawns when they stop at a red light. “Traffic’s going to be hell.”

“Do they come up here every weekend?”, Mike asks.

“Only in late spring and summer.”, Harvey replies, turning to the side as much as he can without taking his eyes off the road. “Neal’s birthday is a little tradition, we’ve been coming here for 4 years, whatever the weather.”, he smiles. “I remember one year, I think it was the second year, it was so cold we had to light up the fireplace!”

Mike only manages to get a couple of words but he thinks he understands so he chuckles before turning his eyes back to the road.

Traffic ends up being not so bad after all and when Mike realizes that Harvey’s dropping him at his place, he feels both relieved and disappointed. Disappointed because he would have loved to spend more time with Harvey but also relieved because he’s tired, exhausted by a very animated and draining weekend. He needs a little break. Plus, he hasn’t really spent time with Rachel and he misses her.

“Thanks for the ride.”, he turns and smiles when Harvey pulls over in front of Mike’s building.

“I would have asked you to come over tonight but I have court early tomorrow morning, we’re selecting a jury for an upcoming trial. This is the most boring thing on earth and I need to catch up on sleep if I hope to survive it.”, Harvey cups Mike’s cheek with one hand and smiles. “Which I know I won’t be able to do with you around.”, he smirks.

“Okay.”, Mike chuckles and unbuckles before leaning in for a kiss.

It’s not just a quick “see you soon” kiss, not even a goodbye kiss. It’s a “I’ve been wanting to kiss you all afternoon but you said we needed to keep a low profile” kiss, and Harvey laughs into the kiss when Mike climbs onto his lap.

“See? That’s exactly why I’m not inviting you tonight.”, he pulls away, breathless.

Mike smiles proudly and plants a quick kiss on Harvey’s lips before moving back to the passenger seat.

“See you tomorrow?”, he asks with a hopeful smile that does something painful to Harvey’s chest.

“Yes.”, Harvey nods with a smile.

He doesn’t immediately drive away, he watches Mike walk to his building as a strange feeling starts growing in his chest.

 

“Hey!”, Rachel steps out of her bedroom when she hears the front door. “I wasn’t sure if I was going to see you tonight.”, she smiles.

“I’ve missed you.”, Mike smiles sheepishly and drops his bags in the hallway.

“Me too.”, Rachel walks up to him and pulls him into a hug. “ _Have you already had dinner?_ ”, she signs when they break apart and Mike shakes his head.

“Okay, I’ll cook something quick.”, she winks and walks to the kitchen.

Mike toes off his shoes and follows her.

“So.”, she grins. “How was last night?”

What she really wants to know is if they talked and sorted things out but she doesn’t want to be too blunt or obvious about it.

“Harvey told me everybody heard us…”, he makes a weird face, half-smile half-grimace.

“Remember the promise you made when we were younger?”, she asks. “We actually both promised and I’ve kept my side of the bargain.”, she points at her chest with a mischievous smile.

“We’ve made a lot of promises growing up, Rach.”, Mike giggles. “Which one are you talking about?”

“The one when we promised we would tell each other about our first time.”, she replies and turns around to get groceries from the fridge.

“Oh god…”, Mike blushes. “I promised because I thought it was never going to happen.”

“You’re silly.”, Rachel chuckles. “Now, tell me everything while I fix ourselves a yummy dinner.”

 

 

After two hours of finding it hard to swallow, of fidgeting on his couch trying to watch TV, after a shower and a very light dinner, Harvey finally manages to put a word to what he’s feeling: he’s _scared._ Irrationally scared by something related to Mike but he can’t figure out what exactly. Thinking about Mike (and that’s all he’s been doing since coming back home) makes his heart beat faster, race even, makes his throat grow tighter, makes his mouth go dry. And he doesn’t understand why because he had a great time this weekend, things turned out exactly like he wanted them to…

He should be planning their next date, jerking off to the thought of the moment he’s finally going to deflower Mike’s beautiful ass, but instead, he finds himself suddenly wondering if this is such a good idea. What does _I like you very much_ even mean? Why did he tell that to Mike? He does like him, he… yes, he does but he has no idea what this entails, what this means for them. And the more he thinks about it, the more his stomach clenches, the faster his heart stomps in his chest.

He gets up from the couch and rushes to the patio, running to the handrail. He closes his eyes and takes a deep shaky breath. What has he gotten himself into? He wanted this, he orchestrated this, he told Mike to come to Neal’s party. They had a great weekend, he’s enjoyed the intimate moments he shared with Mike immensely, more than he had in a long time. But now he’s back in his apartment, now they’re out of their little Hamptons bubble, far away from the beach and the warming sun, he’s not sure anymore. By kissing Mike after the party on the terrace, by telling him he liked him when Mike said he couldn’t let it happen because he liked Harvey too much, by doing that he _agreed_ to a relationship, he knows he did. So why doesn’t it sound like a good idea now, why is it making him sick when it felt like the perfect prospect just a night ago?

He grips the handrail with trembling hands, weighing his options. He could text Mike, tell him he made a mistake, that he’s really sorry, but he can’t see him again, he can’t be what Mike wants him to be. He could call Scottie, she’s always available for him and a good fuck always makes him feel better. He could call Donna and ask for her advice…

None of these options sounds reasonable. He can’t text Mike, if he really wishes to break it off, it needs to be done in person. He won’t call Scottie, that would be cheating, right? And he’s not even sure he could fuck her, he feels weak and tired. And he doesn’t really want her anyway, it’s just that she’s a sure thing, and she’s not complicated. He can’t call Donna, she would tell him off, tell him he’s being childish and he doesn’t need to hear that, he knows it. Besides, she must be with Rachel.

He should wait, try to have a goodnight’s sleep and see how he feels tomorrow. Yeah, that’s what he’s going to do.

 

 

“Okay, you’ve basically done everything but _the_ thing.”, Rachel grins, putting their plates away in the sink. “Do you feel different? I remember feeling different after I had sex with Karen.”

“I don’t feel different…”, Mike looks away. “Or I do but not because of what we did. I think I’m in love.”, he blushes.

Rachel’s heart does a little flip in her chest but she manages to smile. She knew it. Now it's out in the open, she can only hope Harvey doesn’t do anything stupid, that he doesn’t break Mike’s heart.

“That’s great, I’m happy for you.”, she says, stroking his arm. “Did you text Harvey’s ex?”

“Oh no!”, Mike exclaims. “I totally forgot.”, he gets up and grabs his phone. “He texted me.”, he looks up and shows her the screen.

“ _Hey Mike, it’s Alex Blake, did you get my message? Let me know if you can drop by our offices tomorrow. Have a great evening._ ”

“Are you going to meet with him?”, Rachel asks with an expectant look.

“Yes, why is everybody asking me that?”, Mike huffs. “It’s work, I don’t care if he’s Harvey’s ex.”, he lies, because he does care. But this is work and he needs it.

Rachel holds up her hands and walks to sink to wash the dishes.

“ _Sorry for not replying sooner, Alex. My friend listened to your voicemail for me and yes, I’m available tomorrow morning. Give me a time and an address. Thank you. Mike._ ”, he quickly types and sends.

He’s not really looking forward to running around New York to take pictures of apartments, but he’s been looking for a recurring job since he started freelancing as a photographer, so this could be an amazing opportunity.

 

They watch TV for a while, essentially reruns from Rachel’s favorite reality TV shows and Mike falls asleep with his head on Rachel’s lap. She wakes him up at 11pm, stroking his cheek and reminds him to set an alarm for his meeting before waving him goodnight. He undresses and sets his alarm before checking his phone. He’s a little disappointed when he sees no text from Harvey but he remembers that Harvey said he needed to sleep so he must have fallen asleep and forgotten to text him. That doesn't mean he can't do it, so he type a quick " _Goodnight <3_" and sends it. Maybe he should have stuck with a plain "goodnight"... Oh well, Harvey _likes him very much_ , he can surely handle a little heart emoji. It's not like he told him he loved him.

Mike falls asleep with a smile on his lips. _Tomorrow’s going to be a great day_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm [SoSauffie](http://sosauffie.tumblr.com) on tumblr!


	19. Coward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a long chapter for you guys!!! As I told you, I'm leaving for 4 days tomorrow and won't have time to write so there won't be another chapter for a least a week.  
> I hope you like this one, let me know!!! And thank you for your amazing comments <3

Mike’s alarm wakes him up at 6 because he needs to meet with Alex and his associate at 8 sharp, and before that he needs to shower, shave, have breakfast and find the right outfit.

It doesn’t take him that long in the end, thanks to Rachel, so he’s a half hour early for his meeting. Before going to look for a coffee shop, he checks the building doors like he always does. Blake & Corey Luxury New York Real Estate is situated in the heart of Manhattan, occupying two floors of a large townhouse and Mike curses under his breath when he sees the intercom. Intercoms are a deaf person’s definition of hell. He cannot even begin to count the times he was left waiting at a door because he didn’t know when to speak, and even when he tried to know by putting his hand on the speaker and feeling the vibrations, most of the time the person on the other and asked him a question after he’d introduced himself and ended up hanging up when he didn’t reply. He had to wait for someone to either come in or out of the building. Maybe Alex will figure out that it’s him when he calls…

He finds a Starbucks around the corner from Alex’s offices and orders a double decaf. He’s already had one coffee and he woke up feeling wired so he doesn’t need the extra caffeine, not before an important meeting. He almost spits his coffee when he takes his first sip: the barista put sugar in it. Mike doesn’t say anything because he’s pretty sure the guy asked him if he wanted sugar and he probably replied with a nod a smile like he does every time he’s asked a question he doesn’t understand. Most of the time it doesn’t have consequences but it did this morning because Mike hates sugary coffee. And though he still drinks it with a disgusted face, he realizes he doesn’t really mind because Harvey texted him this morning, almost just when his alarm went off, Harvey sent him  “Morning :)”. And no amount of sugary coffee could ruin his mood.

 

5 minutes before his meeting, he walks back to the building and pushes the intercom button. He jerks around when a hand taps his shoulder.

“Hi.”, he ~~yells~~ says, a hand pressed to his chest.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”, Alex smiles and holds out a hand. “Thanks for coming on such short notice.”

“No thank you for calling me.”, Mike shakes his hand enthusiastically.

“Follow me.”, Alex opens the building door with a key and holds it for Mike.

They ride the elevator in silence and Mike can’t help glancing discreetly to get a better look at the man who he now knows is Harvey’s ex husband. He’s taller than him, taller than Harvey, and very thin. Dark blond hair, brown eyes, well-defined jaw, long and straight nose, thin lips, perfectly plucked eyebrows and little ears. There’s nothing wrong about him really, no flaws, no weird features, but also nothing particularly remarkable. Maybe his smile, he’s got a sincere, genuine, friendly smile.

“Welcome to our offices, Mike.”, he says when they step out of the elevator straight into a large and bright floor with glass-walled offices and cubicles. “I’m afraid nobody’s here yet…”, he says with a smirk. “It's still pretty early, it’s usually a lot busier.”, he adds and walks along the empty cubicles until he reaches a conference room.

“You can take a seat here, I’ll go get Eleanor, my business partner.”, he says, opening the glass door. “Coffee?”, he asks.

When Mike doesn’t reply, he follows him inside the room and waits for Mike to look at him.

“Sorry.”, Mike blushes. “You said something?”

“Coffee?”, Alex repeats with a smile Mike knows too well.

“Yes, please. Thank you.”, he nods.

“Sugar?”

“Uh no, thank you.”

“I’ll be right there.”, Alex winks and turns on his heel.

 _Off to a good start_ … He exhales sharply and takes his laptop out of his bag. He’s compiled a file with a sample of his work, ordered by categories: events, people, animals and nature, places, miscellaneous. His clients usually ask to see some of his work before hiring him, which makes perfect sense, and he loves talking about his pictures, it’s always his favorite part of those meetings.

He sits back up when Alex returns, followed by a older and very elegant woman.

“Eleanor Corey.”, she says and offers her hand.

“Mike Ross.”, Mike shakes her hand and swallows. “Very nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”, she smiles and takes a seat at the table as Alex puts a coffee cup in front of Mike.

“Thanks.”, Mike looks up and smiles.

“So.”, Alex begins. “As I told you, we need a photographer to take pictures of the estates that we manage.”, he takes a sip of his coffee. “We’re specialized in luxury estate, which means our sellers and buyers are very rich people. And rich people are very demanding.”, he chuckles. “Up until now, we either took the pictures ourselves or the seller already had professional shots of his property. We would like to take that matter in our own hands and offer them to take care of the aesthetic enhancement of their condos and houses.”, he takes another sip and Eleanor nods. “That’s why we need you.”, he smiles broadly.

“Okay.”, Mike clears his throat. “I have never really done that before but I-“

“Why don’t you show us some of your work?”, Eleanor cuts him.

“Sure.”, Mike nods jerkily and he pushes several keys on his computer before turning it towards them. “I do a lot of portraits and team photos.”, he explains, pointing at the files on the screen. “Newborns and weddings are also something I do a lot.”

“Weddings…”, Alex sighs.

“Um, would you like to see some wedding pictures?”, Mike asks with a confused look.

“Why not.”, Alex huffs and Eleanor rolls her eyes.

“This one is beautiful.”, she gives an impressed nod. “Don’t mind him.”, she says, giving Alex the elbow. “He’s a bitter freshly divorced man.”

“I’m not bitter!”, Alex protests. “I’m mad. How old are you? 20, 22?”, he asks Mike.

“I’m 28.”, Mike blushes. He knows he looks younger.

“Well, you’re young. And you’re not married.”, he quickly checks Mike’s hand for a wedding band. “Don’t get married. Ever.”, he sighs. “She will leave you one day and say she needs a break and she’ll keep coming back to you for favors and sex and when she needs a friend… and you’ll think she’s going to come back for good once she’s done with her _break_.”, he shakes his head with a bitter smile. “And then one day, just like that, without a warning, you’ll receive the divorce papers and she’ll ask you to sign them and she’ll ignore your feelings and-“, he clears his throat and straightens up. “Sorry.”, he exhales deeply. “I, uh, I’m really sorry about the rant.”, he smiles sheepishly. “Let’s have a look at the animal folder, I love animals.”

 

 

After a short and agitated night, Ray drops Harvey in front of the courthouse.

He doesn’t feel any calmer but he doesn’t feel worse, which counts as victory.

He’s supposed to meet with Mike tonight and right now he thinks he’d rather spend the whole week stuck in a courtroom than having to look in Mike’s blue eyes, than being in the same room as him.

No, that’s not exactly true. Right now he wishes he had never met Mike.

Because thinking about Mike makes him feel sick, he’s thrown up after his coffee this morning, so he cannot imagine what seeing Mike will do. But the thought of never seeing Mike again makes him weak at the knees. The thought of never hearing his distinctive laugh again, of never hearing Mike say his name again… no, he’s not going to go there. He needs to focus on selecting the members of a jury which will help his client win.

He’ll have to come up with an excuse for tonight and try to sort things out. In the meantime, he thinks, climbing the steps with his head high, work needs his full attention.

“Harvey Specter.”

“Evan Smith.”, he turns around and smirks. “I thought Jimmy was on the case.”

“I traded with him.”, Evan replies, looping her arm around his elbow. “He owed me one. How have you been?”

“Spectacular, you?”, Harvey replies.

“I just got promoted to senior partner.”, she smiles smugly. “And I’ve missed you.”, she leans in and whispers. She smells really good.

“I’ve heard.”, Harvey says, stopping in front of the courtroom. “About the promotion I mean.”, he smirks. “Everybody gets Harvey Specter withdrawal at some point, but don’t worry, it’ll pass.”

“I know exactly how.”, she licks her lips teasingly. “Free tonight?”

“No.”, he replies instantly and enters the room.

“After court?”, she asks, following him to the first row of benches.

“No.”, he says again, opening his briefcase.

“I see…”, Evan walks to her side of the room. “You’re back with your husband?”

“No.”

“So there’s someone…”

“Yes.”, Harvey says because there is someone. He couldn’t put a name to what they have, but there’s Mike. Mike has taken up residence in his head, in his life… So yeah, there’s someone.

“Good for you.”, Evan nods and takes a seat.

Harvey swallows thickly and proceeds to read the case file again. He already knows it by heart but he needs get in the mood and forget about Mike Ross for the next three hours.

 

 

Mike, Alex and Eleanor spend an hour discussing the terms of their contract and Alex tells Mike he’ll have a draft sent to him by tomorrow, that he can take all the time he wants to review it, even ask Scott to check it since he knows he’s a lawyer.

They shake hands and Alex walks him back to the subway.

Resisting the urge to tell the good news to Harvey because he doesn’t want to bother him while he’s in court, he rides back home with a shit-eating grin on his face.

Once home he decides to do some cleaning, since they weren’t home this weekend to do their weekly house chores and he doesn’t have anything else to do.

Right before noon, when he’s done with the bathroom, the kitchen and the vacuuming, he sends a text to Harvey to let him know that he got the job and that he hopes court wasn’t too boring. He signs on Facebook and uploads several (Harvey-free) pictures from the weekend. He grins when a little green dot appears next to **Reggie Nald** in his contact list.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Hey! :) How was court?

 **Reggie Nald:** Boring. We’re back at it tomorrow, we’re still two jurors short.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Did you get my text?

 **Reggie Nald:** Yes, I did.

**_Reggie Nald is typing…_ **

**_Reggie Nald is typing…_ **

**_Reggie Nald is typing…_ **

Mike stares at the screen as the 4 words keep appearing and disappearing and when it finally stops and nothing comes up, he starts typing again.

 **Mike J. Ross:** You were going to say something?

 **Reggie Nald:** I can’t meet with you tonight. Something came up and I’m going to have to pull an all-nighter and maybe tomorrow as well.

Mike purses his lips. Harvey doesn’t even look sorry, or disappointed. And he told him he got his text but he didn’t congratulate him or tell him he’s happy for him…

 **Mike J. Ross:** Is everything alright?

 **Reggie Nald:** Yeah, just busy.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Are you mad at me because I met with your ex husband?

 **Reggie Nald:** No, I’m glad it went well.

Mike is a little taken aback by the coldness but he tells himself that it’s not easy to detect emotions in chats or emails.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Are you sure? You seem upset.

 **Reggie Nald:** Yes, I’m sure.

 **Mike J. Ross:** I can wait for you tonight if you’d like, or bring you dinner? I don’t have anywhere to be tomorrow morning so I can wait.

**_Reggie Nald is typing…_ **

Mike doesn’t wait long this time.

 **Mike J. Ross:** What’s wrong, Harvey?

 **Reggie Nald:** Nothing. I have to go.

 **Mike J. Ross:** No, wait!

 **Mike J. Ross:** You can’t leave hanging like that!

 **Mike J. Ross:** Tell me what’s wrong! I won’t work for Alex if that’s what’s bothering you.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Please, don’t go, talk to me.

**_Reggie Nald is typing…_ **

**_Reggie Nald is typing…_ **

**_Reggie Nald is typing…_ **

**_Reggie Nald is typing…_ **

**Reggie Nald:** I’m really sorry but I don’t think this is such a great idea. I’m busy, I’m a jerk, I’m selfish and insensitive. I don’t want to hurt you and I know I will.

**_Reggie Nald is typing…_ **

Mike’s heart stops beating for a whole 20 seconds and he when he finally breathes again, he has to reread Harvey’s words twice. He cannot be reading that right.

 **Reggie Nald:** Mike, I’m really sorry.

Mike gulps and takes a deep breath in and out.

 **Mike J. Ross:** FUCK YOU, Harvey.

He slams the lid of his computer shut. What the hell is wrong with this man? He doesn’t want to hurt him? Well, he just did!

Mike should have seen it coming, and he did, he tried to put a stop to it before it got to far, before he got hurt. Harvey insisted, Harvey said that he… God he’s such a fool! What was he expecting from a man like Harvey? Rachel was right, he’s been playing him all along,

He wipes his nose angrily, ignoring the tears rolling down his cheeks, and grabs his camera and keys. He needs some air.

 

 _Fuck you, Harvey_.

Harvey’s been insulted, told off, called names for as long as he can remember. At school, at work, with his friends… Because he’s always expressed his opinions and has always been a bit of a show off. It’s part of his life, of the way people interact with him so he never takes it personally. People get jealous, people don’t like to be proven wrong, people generally envy and/or despise success, they just can’t handle him and it’s never really mattered. Until now.

 _Fuck you, Harvey_.

He doesn’t care what people think of him. Not anymore. “You can’t please everybody, sweetie.”, that’s what his mum used to tell him when he complained about being laughed at for his good grades, his glasses or his worn-out sneakers in middle school. He had many friends, but like all childhood friends, they came and went and he had a hard time with that concept. He kept complaining about the fact that his friends didn’t love him anymore, that he didn’t understand why the girl he had a crush on suddenly stopped talking to him… “People will come and go in your life, Harvey, you better get used to it. But some will stay forever. Like your father and I, like Paul. I’ll always love you, sweetie.”, his mum would say, planting a kiss on his cheek. “And remember, you can’t make everybody happy.”

He never got around to telling her what a huge role that this simple and overworked statement played in his life. That when he realized that he would never reach his childhood goal of pleasing everybody and being loved by everybody, starting with his own father, he stopped caring about what people thought of him and, consequently, he stopped hurting. On the surface. And he was really good at it. Until now.

 _Fuck you, Harvey_.

That hurts. More than that time he got humiliated by Travis Tanner in court. More than when he discovered that his mentor, a man he trusted with his life, District Attorney Cameron Dennis, was hiding evidences. More than when Donna threatened to abandon him to his miserable fate if he didn’t stop doing drugs with Sasha. More than when he realized he didn’t love Alex anymore. That fucking _hurts._

He looks up from his computer and loosens his tie when he tries to swallow around the lump in his throat.

Samantha is at her desk, clearly flirting with Kyle or whatever his name is, and when Harvey opens his mouth to bark at them, he finds himself unable to speak. He rubs his neck with a shaky and sweaty hand and decides that he should maybe go to the bathroom if he’s going to be sick again. He gets up from his desk, ignoring the pounding in his chest, and all but runs out of his office.

“Mr. Specter, are you-“

Thankfully the bathroom is empty and he has just enough time to lock himself in one of the stalls and crouch down in front of the toilet bowl. _Fuck_. He can’t help a low and painful whimper when he’s done emptying his stomach and he waits for a moment before getting back up.

 

 

“Hey princess.”, Donna picks up her phone and crosses the room to shut her office door. “How are you?”

“I’m good.”, Rachel replies. “Look, I want to ask you something.”

“Oh, okay, I’m listening.”, Donna sits back at her desk and narrows her eyes.

“I’d like to introduce you to my parents.”

Donna’s heart skips a beat.

“Um. Wow.”, she huffs. “Don’t you think it’s a bit early? I mean we’ve basically just met and already broke up once and-“

“Donna.”, Rachel cuts her. “I’m sure. I love you and I want my parents to meet you. But of course, if you don’t want to, it’s okay. I just… I thought I’d ask you.”

“No, I… I love you too, princess but…”, she rubs her forehead and nearly drops her phone when her office door suddenly swings open.

“I need to talk to you.”, Harvey says breathlessly. He’s sweating and panting and his tie is hanging loose around his neck.

“Rachel, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to call you back.”, she says, gesturing for him to come in and shut the door.

“Oh, okay.”, Rachel replies and she sounds disappointed. “Let me know. My mother invited me for dinner tonight and I told her I’d let her know.”

“Tonight?!”, Donna chokes. “Let me call you right back, okay?”

She hangs up and exhales deeply before looking up at Harvey. _One problem at a time_.

“What’s going on?”, she asks, pointing at the couch. “Are you okay?”, she looks at him with concern.

“I’ll stand.”, Harvey shakes his head and walks to the window.

“Alright…”, she frowns and leans back in her chair. “I’m all ears.”

“I just broke up with Mike.”

“You what?!”, Donna jumps on her feet.

“I’m freaking out, Donna.”, he all but whispers. “I just puked my guts in the bathroom and I can’t stop my hands from shaking.”, he turns around and shows her.

“First of all, why _the hell_ did you do that?!”, she gives his shoulder a hard slap.

“Ouch.”, he frowns and returns the slap, a lot more gently. “I had to, Donna. It was driving me crazy. I didn’t sleep last night, I kept thinking about him, about all the reasons why it will never work, and you know it won’t.”, he gives her a pointed look. “I mean, it’s fun, he’s… But I’m _me_.”, he purses his lips and runs a trembling hand through his disheveled hair.

“Yeah and he’s Mike.”, Donna rolls her eyes. “What does that even mean? You’re two different people, so what? And no…”, she shakes her head. “… I don’t know that it won’t work. And you don’t either. What did you tell him? And when?”

“Just now.”, Harvey swallows. “On Facebook.”, he looks away because he’s pretty sure she’s glaring at him. “I told him I was sorry, that I had made a mistake and I didn’t want to hurt him and that we better not, um, continue whatever we were doing because I knew I was going to hurt him.”

Donna heaves a loud sigh and walks back to her desk.

“You realize you did just that?”, she asks. “Hurt him.”

“I know…”, he nods. “But better now than later when…”

Donna watches him gulp a couple of times and she takes a deep breath before speaking again.

“You know… that’s exactly what happened with Rachel.”, she says. “When she understood that I didn’t want kids, she confronted me, she didn’t say it but she broke up with me. And it hurt like hell but I understood.”, she licks her lips. “Kids can be a deal breaker. Fear is not. Breaking up because you’re scared, which is exactly what you just did, is cowardly, Harvey. And you’re not a coward.”

“I am scared.”, Harvey confirms. “But I’m not a coward. I’m not running away, I’m protecting him.”

“From what? A broken heart?”, Donna huffs. “Let me tell you something, Harvey. Mike had his heart broken more times than the both of us combined ever will. He lost his whole family! He had to fight his way to be where he is now, facing more disillusions and difficulties than any of us ever will!”, she snaps. “So don’t try to pretend it’s him you’re protecting here.”

Harvey cannot say he likes her tone, but at least it seems to help him regain some composure.

“It happened with Alex.”, he replies. “And it will happen again. I’m going to wake up one day and the spark will be gone, I’ll look at him wondering if I ever loved him. I’m not cut out for relationships, I don’t even know why I…”, he exhales shakily. “I shouldn’t have gone after him.”

“You know what, Harvey?”, she sighs, clearly frustrated. “I’ve done what I could to help you but I’m throwing in the towel. You’re right, maybe you’re not cut out for relationships, maybe you don’t want them, maybe you’re just a heartless bastard.”, she shakes her head. “I don’t care anymore. I don’t even know what to say to you.”

Harvey swallows audibly and bites the inside of his cheek but he manages to hold her gaze. _Fuck you, Harvey_. Just like Mike’s last words, Donna’s words cut through him like a sharp knife. She’s right.

“You’re an idiot, Harvey.”, she says, grabbing her phone. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting with my in-laws to plan.”

“You’re kicking me out?”, he asks. “I’m your boss.”

“So what? Sue me.”, she rolls her eyes.

“Wait, you’re meeting Rachel’s parents?”

“I was planning on telling her I didn’t really feel like it, that it was too soon and everything, but watching you ruin the best thing that’s happened to you in 2 years made me rethink my position.”, she taps on the screen and brings it up to her ear. “I’m not an idiot and I’m not a coward. Get out of my office now.”, she brushes him off. “Hey princess, sorry, it took longer than expected.”, she smiles and shoots him a pointed look.

He sighs heavily and walks out of the office, shutting the door behind him.

 _I’m an idiot_ , he thinks, tightening up his tie.

“Harvey?”, he hears and closes his eyes before turning around. “Jessica.”, he fakes a smile. “How can I help?”

“I need to see you in my office, about this morning.”, Jessica purses her lips. “What happened? You know I know Judge McKenzie, she told me you were distracted and moody and that you didn’t manage to pick up a jury in the 4 hours you spent auditioning potential jurors.”

Harvey fights an eye roll and follows her to her office. _This day just keeps getting better and better_.

 

Rachel manages to leave work early and hurries home to get ready. When she called he mum back to ask her if she could come with “Donna”, she heard her hesitate for a second before replying a weirdly cheerful “Of course”.

She’s nervous. She hasn’t introduced anyone to them since Karen and they didn’t like Karen that much. She knows they’ll like Donna, who wouldn’t like her? But she’s older than her and her parents are pretty traditional people. She wouldn’t call them bigots, they’ve accepted her homosexuality, even if it took time, but they have traditional values. And dating a woman who’s 10 years older than you isn’t probably one of them.

When she enters the apartment, she’s surprised to find it quiet. Mike’s computer is sitting on the dining table, still plugged to the wall. She sends him a text to ask him where he is and undresses before climbing in the shower.

When she gets out, body and hair wrapped in towels, she grabs her make up bag and checks her phone.

“ _Hanging out with Scott. I won’t be home for dinner._ ”

She frowns and sits on her bed.

“ _Okay, everything alright?_ ”

“ _Check my computer if you want, I don’t want to talk._ ”

“ _I will. I’m probably not going to be home when you come back, I’m having dinner at my parents’ with Donna. Have fun <3_”

“ _What??????? OMG!!!!_ ”

She giggles and walks to the dining room.

“ _I know!!! See you tonight or tomorrow. <3_”

She puts her phone down and opens Mike’s laptop. His Facebook page appears on the screen and she starts reading the chat he was having with Harvey, hoping she’s not snooping, that’s it’s what Mike wanted her to see.

“Son of a bitch!”, she gapes at the screen.

She contemplates texting Mike to let him know she’s read their conversation but she decides not to. He said he didn’t want to talk about it. He must be so sad, so heartbroken right now, she’s glad he’s not alone. She can’t believe it only took Harvey a day to screw things up. She wasn’t hopeful. The talk she had with Lucy worried her and all the fears she had had when meeting Harvey had resurfaced. But she didn’t expect him to screw up so fast. Poor Mike…

 

Rachel’s almost done with her hair and make up when the doorbell rings. Shit, she’s late.

“Coming!”, she calls from her bedroom, quickly pulling on a pair of pants.

She runs to the door and the smile she put on, expecting to greet her girlfriend, vanishes instantly when she opens the door.

“What are you doing here, Harvey?”, she asks, keeping the door open to a minimum.

“I’m here to see Mike.”, Harvey replies.

“He’s not here.”, she says and pushes the door shut but Harvey quickly puts a foot forward to block it. “Go away, Harvey!”

“I need to see him.”

“I’m telling you, he’s not here.”, she repeats.

“I don’t believe you.”, Harvey looks at her pointedly.

She huffs and takes a deep breath before swinging the door open and moving to the side.

“You don’t believe me?”, she sneers. “Come in, see for yourself!”

Harvey hesitates for a moment but eventually steps inside the apartment. He doesn’t need to check Mike’s room. Just the fact that she let him in proves that Mike’s not here.

“Even if he was here, I highly doubt he’d want to talk to you.”, Rachel says.

“Where is he?”

“I’m not going to telling you because it’s none of your business.”, she replies, closing the door. She doesn’t need all their neighbors to hear their conversation. “Now I think you should go.”

“I’ll wait for him.”, Harvey walks to the living room.

“I don’t think so!”, Rachel huffs. “Who do you think you are barging here, demanding to see Mike and deciding to wait for him? Don’t you think you’ve done enough already?”

“That is none of your business.”, Harvey tries to keep his cool. He doesn’t need to add a fight with Rachel to the already long list of things Mike must hate him for.

“ _None of my business?!_ ”, Rachel huffs again. “Mike is my best friend, he’s like my brother, so this is _definitely_ my business!”, she snaps. “You don’t even know him! You don’t care about him! What else have you got to say to him, uh? He trusted you! He opened up to you, he…”, she stops to catch her breath. “You’re a selfish son of bitch. All you care about is you, you, you!”

“Oh, because you care about anybody else but you?”, Harvey snorts angrily. “First, you break up with Donna and then you decide that you don’t mind if she doesn’t want kids for now because you miss her? What’s going to happen when you do want them? You’re going to toss her out like an old shoe?”, he takes a step forward.

“Now, _this_ is absolutely none of your business and you’ve got some nerve coming here and lecturing me about my relationship with Donna when you didn’t even _try_ to have a relationship with Mike!”, she laughs dryly. “Go and don't come back here again. Leave Mike alone and go back to your pathetic one night stands!”, she snarls.

“Drop the attitude, _princess_.”, Harvey takes a threatening step forward. “You’re just a spoiled brat, a Barbie doll playing dress up at her daddy’s firm and I won’t allow the worst lawyer I’ve ever seen to talk to me that way, so watch your mouth!”

“Or what?”, Rachel huffs. “I’m not scared of you, _Harvey Specter_. You’re a fucking loser!”

The doorbell rings, making them both jump.

They don’t move for a moment, too caught up in their argument to look away from each other. She used to be a little scared of him, she used to respect him because she’d heard he was one of the city’s best lawyers. But now she’s seen who he really is, she’s got nothing but pity for him.

She shakes her head and finally drops her eyes before stomping to the door.

“Hey.”, she exhales sharply when she opens the door to a perfectly dolled-up and ravishing-looking Donna.

“Hey.”, Donna frowns but she quickly understands what’s going on when she spots Harvey standing in the living room.

“I just need to get dressed.”, Rachel tries to smile. “I’ll be right there. And when I’m back, I want him gone.”, she swallows and disappears in her bedroom.

“What happened?”, Donna asks tentatively.

The tension in the room is so palpable she could it with a knife. It must be about Mike.

“I’m gonna go.”, Harvey says.

“Wait, what happened?”, Donna wraps her fingers around his elbow.

“Nothing. Have fun.”, he jerks his arm away and hurries out the door, slamming it shut.

Donna walks to Rachel’s bedroom and knocks on the ajar door.

“He’s gone.”, she says, slowly pushing it open.

Rachel has changed into a dress, the red one she wore when they first met, and she’s standing by the window, her back to the door.

“What happened?”, Donna asks in a soft voice, gently grabbing the zipper at the small of Rachel’s back and pulling it up.

“He came here to talk to Mike.”, Rachel sobs. “We had an argument. He…”

Donna wraps her arms around her waist from behind and rests her chin on Rachel’s shoulder.

“He’s a lawyer, he specializes in closing situations, he argues for a living.”, she says and kisses Rachel behind the ear. “And he’s mad because he screwed everything up with Mike. Don’t take it personally…”

“He called me a Barbie doll. He said I was the worst lawyer he’d ever seen.”, Rachel clears her throat and turns around. “He said I was going to throw you out like an old shoe.”, she purses her lips. “I’ll never do that.”, she shakes her head as tears start filling up her eyes again.

“I know.”, Donna strokes her cheek and kisses her. “I know.”

Rachel pulls away and exhales shakily.

“I just need my shoes and a little touch up on my eyes and we’re good to go.”, she smiles. “Are you nervous?”

“I have to admit I am.”, Donna chuckles. “I’m going to meet the King and the Queen.”

Rachel’s smile warms her heart and though she told her to not take Harvey’s words personally, she’s gonna have to talk to him. It’s one thing to ruin things with Mike because he’s a constipated, scared, cowardly human being, it’s another to lash out on her girlfriend.

 

 

Harvey’s high on epinephrine after shouting at Rachel. He’s never met anyone who could make him fly off the handle like that. He needs to punch something, to get drunk, a quick and deep blow job, a joint… something to take his mind off Rachel, off Mike, off the now. Something to release the tension that’s making his blood boil. One quick call is all it would take. He knows Clifford is at in Brooklyn on Monday nights, but he would drive to Manhattan if Harvey asked him. Evan would come in a heartbeat if he called her. And they could get drunk and fuck all night. That would definitely help.

But he’s done enough mistakes for one day. He needs to talk, that’s what he needs to do, he needs to talk it out. And there’s one person, two actually, who he knows can help him sort it out.

He brings his phone to his ear, clears his throat and waits.

“Hey baby brother! What’s up?”, Paul whispers.

“Why are you whispering?”

“Because I’m currently aiming at a hostage taker.”, Paul replies casually. “Just hold on a sec, alright?”

Harvey hears him let out a sharp breath and then he hears a click and the sound of a shot getting fired.

“Got him!”, Paul yells victoriously and Harvey has to move the phone away from his ear. “Guys, let’s take five, I’ve got my baby brother on the phone!”

Harvey rolls his eyes but heaves a small, relieved sigh when he understands that his brother did not just shoot someone for real.

“Still here?”, Paul asks.

“Yep.”

“Okay, let me just turn off the mic… Okay.”, Paul says. “What’s up?”

“I’m in your neighborhood, I was wondering if you were home, if you wanted to have dinner or something but I can see you’re training.”, Harvey replies.

“Yeah, it’s that time of the year.”, Paul sighs. “I have to evaluate each member of my team. I won’t be home until late but Liz would be thrilled to have dinner with you.”

“Nah, I don’t want to bother you, or her, I just thought… Nevermind.”

“Hey, you never bother us.”, Paul says. “Let me call her to let her know you’re on your way. She doesn’t like those long nights when I’m out on the field and you know she likes chatting with you.”

“Okay, tell her I’m bringing the wine and that she can call me if she needs anything else.”, Harvey replies, suddenly feeling a little guilty.

Paul is always so nice to him… They don’t get along, or more accurately Harvey doesn’t get along with him. Paul is loud, always in a good mood, he doesn’t encumber himself with the notions of personal space and basic manners, and he gets on Harvey’s nerve very quickly. And maybe Harvey’s a little jealous of Paul’s closeness with their father, maybe he’s a little jealous of Paul’s openness, of his optimism. He’s never really tried to maintain a relationship with his brother, it’s always Paul who calls, or his father, so Paul must have been surprised, or maybe worried, when Harvey called him tonight. And though he didn’t say anything, Harvey knows he understood something was wrong and that it’s why he insisted that he had dinner with Liz. So now, he feels a little bad for always pushing him away…

 

 

Donna squeezes Rachel’s hand when they step on the porch of the huge and beautiful Zane mansion. She’s used to visiting reach clients, to meetings in luxury hotel conference rooms, and she’s quite pride of her condo. But those beautiful place have got nothing on Rachel’s parents’ estate.

“Ready?”, Rachel asks with a grin. She doesn’t look ready herself.

“Yeah.”, Donna smiles reassuringly and Rachel rings the doorbell.

The front door opens and a maid smiles at them.

“Miss Rachel.”, she says, pulling Rachel into a hug. “How are you?”

“I’m good, how are you Elsa?”

“I’m very good.”, the woman smiles and turns to look at Donna.

“Elsa, this is Donna.”, Rachel says with a proud smile.

“Nice to meet you, M’am.”, Donna shakes the woman’s hand with a nervous smile.

“Nice to meet you too. Come in.”

Robert Zane appears in the large entryway and raises an eyebrow when he sees Donna.

“Miss Paulsen?”, he cocks his head.

“Mr. Zane.”, Donna blushes. She hadn’t expected him to know her name.

“You should have told me _Donna_ was Miss Paulsen.”, Robert chuckles and shakes Donna’s hand before giving his daughter a warm hug.

“I didn’t know you knew her.”, Rachel replies.

“I never forget the name of a lawyer who beat me.”, Robert gestures towards the main room. “5 years ago. Gillis Industries. You second chaired for Harvey Specter.”

“Oh yeah, I remember.”, Donna smiles, ignoring the disgust Rachel fails miserably to hide at the mention of Harvey’s name. 

“How’s old Harvey doing?”, he asks, walking to the large and cozy living room.

“Still a cocky jerk.”, Donna replies mockingly.

“Glad to hear that.”, Robert chuckles. “Honey, would you please go get your mum? She’s upstairs.”

“Sure.”, Rachel replies a little too enthusiastically.

She doesn't want to talk about Harvey, or even hear Donna and her father talk about him.

 

 

When Harvey enters the building, he can hear zouk music coming from Paul and Liz’s apartment. Liz is from Guadeloupe in the Caribbean Island, she speaks French, English and Creole and is very proud of her origins.

Harvey has to knock for a whole minute before she hears him.

“Hey.”, she smiles broadly when she opens the door. ”How are you?”

“Good.”, Harvey smiles and hands her the bottles of wine he bought on the way here.

“Are you sure?”, she grabs them and closes the door behind him. “It’s not often that Harvey Specter asks us if he can come over. In fact…”, she turns around with a smile. “I think it’s a first in the two years I’ve known you.”

“I was in the neighborhood…”, Harvey replies sheepishly.

“Yeah, that’s what Paul told me.”, she smiles knowingly. “Take a seat.”, she gestures towards the dining table where two sets of plates and cutlery have been laid.

“Oh, that’s a nice ring that you have here.”, Harvey raises an eyebrow with a smirk.

“Thank you.”, she replies. “Your brother asked me to marry him.”

“He did?! When?”

“A week ago. Actually, the day after you and Mike came here for dinner.”, she smiles, touching her diamond ring.

“Thanks for letting me know…”, Harvey huffs.

“I wanted to tell you. But Paul said you wouldn’t be happy for us, that you would ruin the mood with your cynicism…”, she replies with a apologetic pout.

“He’s right.”, Harvey chuckles. “About the cynicism. I’m happy for you, especially for Paul. I’m not sure you hit the jackpot with him.”, he teases.

“I’m sure I did.”, she laughs and turns to the stove. “I hope you’re hungry, I made jambalaya.”

 

 

Mike meets with Scott as his offices after work and they have a couple of drinks at Scott’s favorite bar. He doesn’t ask question when Mike doesn’t speak and only signs, even if he finds both Mike’s invitation to hang out and his behavior a little suspect.  

They walk back to Scott’s apartment and order pizza, which eventually forces Mike to use his voice because you can’t both eat and talk with your hands at the same time. Scott however does most of the talking and they end up playing Assassin’s Creed and GTA, sprawled on the couch like two teenagers.

“How many hours have you spent playing this thing?”, Mike grins when Scott manages to escape the police again after having ran over a dozen pedestrians.

“A fuckload.”, Scott laughs, pressing pause. “I never get bored of these games, I can play them for hours on end.”, he puts the remote on the coffee table and grabs his beer.

“I never had video games, my grandmother thought they corrupted young people.”, Mike also grabs his beer and takes a swig.

“Well, you’re good for someone who’s not familiar with games.”, Scott gives him an impressed nod.

“Yeah, but the police caught me twice…”, Mike pouts and they both start laughing.

They stay silent for a while afterwards, finishing their warm beer.

“Is everything alright?”, Scott asks, leaning towards Mike to catch his attention.

He doesn’t see it coming, couldn’t have seen it coming after Mike’s rejection the other day, but he doesn’t push him away when Mike grabs his face and crushes their lips together. He doesn’t push him away when Mike’s tongue teases his lips open, doesn’t push him away when Mike moves to straddle him, their lips glued together. He knows he should because Mike rejected him last week and he cannot have changed his mind, he would have done it sooner in the evening. It’s desperate, deep, full of bitterness, of sadness. But he doesn’t push Mike away, he lets Mike’s lips devour his mouth, lets Mike’s tongue battle with his own, lets Mike’s deliciously hot moans fill the room. He enjoys it while he can, lets it happen because he wants Mike. Even if he knows Mike doesn’t want him, even if he knows Mike is using him, he lets it happen.

Until he feels a hand cupping his growing erection.

“Mike…”, he pants against Mike’s mouth, grabbing Mike’s wrist. “What’s wrong?”, he asks, gently pushing him away.

“What?”, Mike replies hoarsely. “Nothing’s wrong. Why?”, he leans in and presses his forehead against Scott’s. “That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”, he cocks his head and kisses him.

“No.”, Scott pulls away and pushes on Mike’s hips. “That’s not what I want because that’s not what _you_ want.”

“Wh-“, Mike starts to protest and moves to the side. “Sorry…”, he whispers when he realizes how stupid what he just did is.

Scott’s right, that’s not what he wants. He needs reassurance, he needs affection right now, but above all, he needs Harvey. But Harvey doesn’t want him anymore so he kissed Scott… Probably the stupidest thing he’s done since attending Neal’s party, since letting Harvey kiss him on the terrace. Why can’t he want Scott? What did he have to choose Harvey?

“So, what’s going on?”, Scott asks with a smile and it breaks Mike’s heart a little bit. How can he be so understanding? “Your boyfriend dumped you? Your crush stood you up?”

Mike opens his mouth to reply but he closes it again. He doesn’t know how to answer that..

“Boyfriend or crush?”, Scott smiles again, sensing he hit the right spot.

“Neither.”, Mike replies. “Just a…”, he sighs.

“Harvey Specter?”, Scott offers, and he’s not smiling anymore.

“How-“

“I knew it the moment I saw him in court.”, Scott cuts him bitterly. “I knew he didn’t just _casually_ entered this specific courtroom. And when he took your defense…”, he shakes his head and purses his lips. “I mean, I thought you were friends at first, when Rachel mentioned him the night we first met at your apartment…”, he explains. “But when he yelled at me in the Court House, I knew it was more than friendship. But since you didn’t tell me, since you didn’t talk to me about him, I…”, he smiles sadly. “I thought that maybe I was wrong, maybe you were jut friends and… um, since I… Well, that’s why I made a move on you the other day.”

“This isn’t more than friendship.”, Mike shakes his head. “We’re not even friends.”

“What are you then?”, Scott asks.

“Nothing.”, Mike replies.

“Come on.”, Scott rolls his eyes. “Tell me. What happened?”

“It’s okay, really… I don’t want to bother you with my pathetic love life…”

“I heard the word _love_.”, Scott smiles and gets up. “Love is never pathetic. And you don’t bother me.”, he says, grabbing the empty bottles. “ _Beer?_ ”, he signs with his free hand.

“ _Please_.”, Mike rubs his sternum with a sheepish smile.

 

 

Harvey and Liz are lying on deckchairs in the garden, nursing an umpteenth glass of wine.

He’s told her the whole story. How he met Mike at Donna’s birthday party. How he automatically felt drawn towards him. He told her all about Mike, or what he knows about him. The death of his parents, his relationship with Rachel, that Rachel’s a fucking bitch (which had Liz spit her wine), that Mike had never kissed anyone before. Harvey told her about Mike’s eidetic memory, the association… He recounted their dates, the panic attack, their first kiss, the moment they spent sitting in the water at the beach. He told her about Ella and Liz rolled her eyes, he told her how he likes Mike’s voice, the way he talks. How much he loves his smile, his loud laugh, his blue eyes, his kindness, his intelligence. He told her that Mike told him he loved him (“I don’t think he meant it though, he was asleep.”).

Liz didn’t say anything, tried not to comment; she listened closely, paying attention to the words he chose, to his facial expressions, to the variations in his voice. She tried to understand. Harvey said he was scared he’ll ruin everything and hurt Mike. He said he thought he wanted a relationship but realized he didn’t, no, maybe he did, but he couldn’t. That just thinking about it made him sick, that he actually got sick _twice_ today. That he realized he didn’t see why this relationship would end differently than his marriage.

It's starting to get chilly and Harvey's mouth is dry from all the talking. He takes a long sip of his wine and checks his watch.

“Sorry about the rant.”, he chuckles. He’s been talking non-stop for an hour and a half.

“You know what I think, Harvey?”, Liz raises an eyebrow with a glorious smile as if she’d discovered the best kept secret in the world. “I don’t think you’re afraid _you_ ’re going to stop loving him like you did with Alex.”, she sits up and takes a sip of her wine. “I think you’re afraid _he_ ’s going to stop loving you.”, she grins.

Harvey licks his lips and finishes his glass, processing her words.

“You were ready to commit, you managed to convince Mike to come to the party. You kiss him, he tells you he loves you and bam!”, she exclaims. “It all goes to hell and you get sick.”

“No, that’s not it.”, Harvey shakes his head. “I would have gotten sick on Sunday.”

“No, because you were with him on Sunday, you had no reason to be scared, he was _with you._ ”, she explains in a very serious voice. “You told me you started to feel weird as soon as you dropped him at his place.”

Harvey has to admit her line reasoning seems sound.

“Okay, say you’re right.”, he concedes with an eye roll. “It doesn’t help me much. I’m still scared, I still insulted his best friend and he still told me to fuck off.”

Liz refills their glass and heaves out a long, loud sigh.

“I’m going to tell you a secret.”, she leans back in her chair. “Paul and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year. That’s why I left the field in the first place.”, she swallows hard. “I got pregnant twice. Lost the baby twice. The first one at 3 and a half months, the second at 8 weeks.”, she bites her bottom lip and closes her eyes for a moment. “The second miscarriage happened 2 months ago. I broke up with Paul. I felt useless, I... I know how much Paul wants to be a father and I thought that if I couldn’t give it to him, I should leave him, give him the opportunity to find someone who could.”, she turns to Harvey and smiles sadly. “But the thing with love is… the thing is you don’t choose who you love, you can’t choose to stop loving someone. Love just happens. Paul kept calling me, kept wanting to talk, kept asking me to come back… You know how he is.”, she smiles knowingly. “Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is that you can’t run from love, or any relationship, because you’re scared. That’s not how it works. The fear is never going to go away. Until I give a child to your brother, I’ll never feel completely happy, I’ll never feel completely safe, there’s always going to be a part of me that will want to run away before he does. And even if we’re lucky enough to have a kid, there’s no guarantee that it will be happily ever after.”, she shakes her head. “There’s just no guarantee. Ever. That’s the conclusion I wanted to come to.”

“So you’re saying I’ll always be scared…”, Harvey chuckles. “That’s encouraging.”

“Hey, it’s not just you, Harvey Specter!”, Liz pokes his arm. “It’s all our plight. Some of us just have more balls than others.”, she teases.

Harvey glares at her and smiles before bringing his glass to his lips.

“I…”, he begins to say. “I’m sorry for what happened to you and Paul.”

“It’s okay.”, she smiles. “We don’t talk about it anymore, we’ve decided to stop focusing on getting pregnant and leave it to chance.”

“I hope it will happen soon. When are you getting married?”

“We haven’t decided yet, I think we’re a little scared of planning things now.”, she laughs bitterly and looks away for a long moment. “Look.”, she turns back to him and puts her glass on the ground. “About you and Mike. I know you think you screwed up, well you have. I know you’re scared-“, she stops at the sound of the front door opening.

“Honey, I’m home!”, Paul yells.

“Here comes trouble.”, she gets up and smiles. “Don’t give up. You like Mike, he likes you, don’t give up. Maybe he won’t take you back, maybe he won’t even want to hear what you have to say, but don’t give up. If you want it, if you want to be with him, put your fears aside and give it a real try.”, she walks back to the house. “You’ll regret it if you don’t.”, she turns around and says with a serious look.

“What, you’re still here?”, Paul exclaims when he comes in the living room and spots them in the garden. “It’s almost one in the morning!”

“Nice to see you too, bro!”, Harvey raises his glass and rolls his eyes.

He watches as Paul places a quick kiss to Liz’ lips, and his heart tightens. He can’t imagine what they’ve been through, how his brother must have felt when Liz left him… And he feels a bit guilty and sad again. For not having been here for his brother. Paul didn’t tell him that he proposed to Liz, didn’t tell him that they were trying to get pregnant, that she left him… he didn’t tell Harvey anything because he didn’t think Harvey would listen to him, would help him.

“Harvey saw the ring.”, Liz tells Paul with a beaming smile.

“Congrats.”, Harvey gets up and walks to them. “I’m happy for you.”, he smiles.

“Thanks.”, Paul smiles back.

“I’m going to go.”, Harvey says and clears his throat. “Thanks a lot for dinner and for… everything.”, he says, pulling Liz into a tight hug.

“No problem.”, she whispers. “Let me know how it goes.”, she pulls away. “And come visit more often, okay?”, she flicks his shoulder.

“Yeah…”, Harvey smiles at them and grabs his jacket.

 

 

“Your mum doesn’t like me…”, Donna says, buckling up.

“She will.”, Rachel smiles reassuringly. “She needs time.”

Donna had a nice time. Robert Zane is exactly like she thought he’d be, having ran into him in court a couple of times. He’s fun, protective of his daughter and charming. Christina, on the other side, is colder, more distant and Donna felt her eyes on her all evening. Her observing eyes. And it stressed the hell out of her. Christina didn’t ask her a single question, she didn’t really participate in the conversations they had and spent an awful lot of time with her daughter in the kitchen.

“Where do you want to go?”, Donna asks, starting the engine.

“I was planning on crashing at your place.”, she replies and Donna remembers she brought a small overnight bag with her.

“Yeah, of course.”, Donna smiles. Some time alone with Rachel is exactly what she needs right now. 

“You know...", Rachel says after a moment. "About earlier with Harvey.", she exhales sharply and Donna braces herself. "I tried. I tried to like him, I tried to get to know him, for you, for Mike. I gave him the benefice of the doubt.”, she shakes her head angrily. “Well, I’m sorry, I know he’s your friend, but as far as I’m concerned, he doesn’t exist anymore. And I’m glad he’s out of Mike’s life too.”

“It’s not that simple, Rach’.”, Donna sighs.

Rachel and Harvey have very similar personalities. They’re both headstrong and possessive, used to have things their way, they’re bound to clash. And they both care for Mike very much.

“Let’s not talk about it.”, Rachel says. “Sorry for bringing that up. I had a great night, I don’t want to think about him.”, she adds, reaching for her handbag when her phone buzzes. “It’s Mike, he’s heading home.”, she explains, typing.

“Are you sure you want to head to my place?”, Donna asks.

“Yes.”, Rachel replies with a grin. “He seems fine and I want to sleep by your side.”

“Okay.”, Donna glances at her with a knowing smile.

 

 

Mike walks home, he drunk a little too much and could use some fresh air.

After telling Scott what happened with Harvey (leaving out a copious amount of details such as his being a virgin before he met Harvey or his panic attack), he feels exhausted, sad and angry. Mike doesn’t get angry easily, yet it seems Harvey knows exactly how to push his buttons. _Angry_. He told Scott he felt stupid for falling for a man like Harvey, for a man he barely knows, for a man he kind of always knew would end up hurting him. Of course, Scott acted like the perfect friend… He told Mike he shouldn’t feel that way, that the beautiful thing with love was that it always came unexpectedly. That yes, sometimes it hurt but that it could also feel so good it was worth the hurt. He told Mike he hoped he’d meet someone who would love him as much as he loved them, that he deserved it.

A perfect friend. And obviously a perfect boyfriend, if Mike was smart enough to fall for the right guy…

His phone vibrates in his pocket and his heart flips in his chest when he sees the name on the screen.

“ _Where are you?_ ”

 _What do you care?_ is what he wants to reply but he chooses to go for “ _Who is it?_ ”

Harvey’s reply comes seconds later.

“ _I want to talk to you._ ”

“ _Again. Who is it?_ ”, Mike types angrily.

“ _Mike, please._ ”

Please what, for god’s sake? Please let me break your heart again?

“ _I’m not home._ ”, he types and puts his phone way.

He shakes his head and tries to ignore the vibration against his thigh. So now Harvey has time for him? Now he wants to talk? No more bullshit excuses on Facebook? Well, he can go to hell…

Of course, Mike doesn’t manage to ignore his phone for long. He needs to end this anyway, to tell Harvey he doesn’t want to talk. Not now, not ever.

“ _Where are you then? Can we talk? I can come over._ ”

Mike takes a deep breath and starts typing.

“ _I was at Scott’s. I’m heading home. And no we can’t talk. You said it yourself, you’re a selfish jerk. Bye now._ ”

He exhales sharply and bites the inside of his cheek. He doesn’t think Harvey’s a selfish jerk. He _can_ be one, he was one today but Mike knows better. He wishes he didn’t. He wishes he could believe that this was all a mistake. That he was better without Harvey. But the truth is that he knows he’s going to miss him like crazy. But it will get better, Scott told him and even if it took time, Rachel recovered from breaking up with Karen. He will too.

 

When he finally walks towards his building, too engrossed in thought, he doesn’t notice the man sitting on the front porch. It’s only when the man gets up and starts heading up to him that he finally realizes who he is.

“Go away, Harvey.”, he says, stopping dead in his tracks.

“Mike, please.”, Harvey keeps walking.

 _Angry_. He needs to be angry right now and he is, but he’s also fucking sad and tired and disappointed and heartbroken. Because of that man currently looking at him with deep, sad, pleading brown eyes.

“Listen, Harvey.”, Mike says, hoping he sounds determined. “I don’t have anything to say to you except that I don’t ever want to see you again. Now that it’s said, go away and don’t ever come back, don’t try to contact me again.”, he says and brushes past him, his eyes fixed on the building door.

 _Don’t look back, don’t look back_. He walks in the lobby, his throat tight, his heart stomping in his chest and runs up the stairs. _It hurts, doesn’t it?_

He opens the front door with trembling hands and when he’s in the safety of his apartment, when he can breath again, he crouches down and covers his mouth with a hand as he finally allows the tears he’d been holding back to spill over his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm [SoSauffie](http://sosauffie.tumblr.com) on tumblr!


	20. Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 20, you guys! I promised you a new chapter for the weekend and I'm glad I managed to stick to my words! :)  
> My vacation didn't go as planned, it turned out sad and depressing (because of my sick Mum, who's being childish and mean) and I'm glad I'm back.  
> I think this story is nearing the end, because I'm finally reaching the point I had in mind when I started writing it, but I have no idea how many chapters it will take me to wrap things up.  
> Thank you so much for the very generous and sweet comments you left on the previous chapter, thank you thank you <3  
> Hope you like this one, let me know, I loooooove your comments ;)

Harvey isn’t the kind of man who just follows orders. He questions them, analyzes them, goes against them, walks around them, sometimes straight out disobeys them, he never just _follows_ them. He’s always hated orders, ever since he was a kid. He would always ask why, always ask for a long and detailed explanation of why he should do this or that. Why he had to go to bed at 8, why he couldn’t meet with his friends at the park, why he had to go to school when he could read it all in the books at home, why he had to wear glasses and then braces, why he had to eat vegetables and fruits when his favorite food was pizza… His father would reply that it wasn’t up for discussion, that when the police ask you to put your hands up you don’t ask why, while his mother would always take the time to explain.

Things haven’t changed. Orders still irritate him and he worked hard to reach a position where he decides of everything, where he orders people around and makes the rules. Both in _and_ out of work.

Harvey isn’t the kind of man who just follows orders and yet, he finds himself surprisingly willing to do what he was told. He doesn’t start questioning Mike’s order to not contact him again, he doesn’t even begin planning a way to walk around that order.

He wakes up tired and unsurprisingly angry at the world on **Tuesday** , after a very short night spent reliving the past 3 and a half weeks, from the first time he met Mike to the previous night on the sidewalk in front of Mike’s building. He replayed every conversation, tried to remember every emotion, tried to understand what went wrong.

Liz is right, he’s scared of losing Mike, he’s scared that the people he loves will stop loving him. And this little piece of revelation explains a lot. Why he chose casual sex over relationships, why he left Alex when he felt that their bond was losing its strength, why he screwed things up with Mike.

Liz also said that he should never give up trying to get Mike back. This, Harvey’s not so sure about. He’s the one who pushed Mike away in the first place. Mike’s reaction to this, Mike’s order to stay away from him is only what Harvey suggested in the first place. Harvey doesn’t have the right to force his way into Mike’s life, he doesn’t have the right to demand forgiveness. When he came to see Mike, it was all clear in his head: he had made a mistake, he needed to apologize and try to explain to Mike what happened, why he pushed him away, try to convince Mike that he didn’t really mean to hurt him, that he was trying to protect them both. He was going to ask for another chance. But after an agitated night, he’s not so sure anymore. He’s sure he’s going to miss Mike, he’s sure he let a potentially great relationship pass him by, he’s sure he’s been a coward. But he’s not sure he’s what Mike needs, he’s not sure Mike should forgive him as he can’t be sure he won’t screw up again.

Harvey isn’t the kind of man who just follows orders but he will follow Mike’s order to stay away. Even if it hurts like hell, he deserves to hurt because he hurt Mike. But all is not lost, what happened with Mike and his conversation with Liz made him realize that he needs to change. Change his promiscuous ways, try to build a relationship with his brother and open up a little bit so that his hidden fears don’t ruin another great opportunity.

 

When he steps out of the elevator, he’s greeted by a cheerful Samantha who hands him his messages and a warm cup of coffee.

“Am I late?”, Harvey frowns, seizing the proffered beverage.

“No, I’m early.”, Samantha grins, visibly proud. “I woke up at 4 and couldn’t go back to sleep, I thought I’d come in early.”

“Harvey!”, a voice coming from the other end of the corridor startles them (and the dozen people around them). “Get your ass in here now!”

Harvey opens his mouth to scold his best friend for humiliating a name partner in front of his employees, but he decides to ignore her instead. He doesn’t respond well to orders anyway and Donna knows it. She also knows where to find him.

“Uh.”, Samantha gives him a questioning look when he starts walking towards his office, in the opposite direction.

Harvey thinks he knows why Donna wants to talk to him. He hasn’t forgotten what happened with Rachel, he also replayed their fight in his head while trying to find sleep and he doesn’t regret a single word he said. He’s even glad he finally told her a few home truths, he feels lighter.

“Where do you think you’re going?”, Donna snaps, grabbing his elbow.

“My office?”, Harvey offers with a smirk. “Please come in, have a seat.”, he motions towards the couch and shuts the door behind them. “Before you start yelling at me, let me tell you that I really didn’t like the way you just talked to me in front of the whole floor and I won’t tolerate it again.”, he says, taking off his jacket and putting it on the back of his chair.

“Okay. It’s noted, _boss_.”, Donna huffs and she walks to the window before turning around. “I’ll have you know that I really didn’t like the way you spoke to Rachel yesterday either.”

“Noted.”, Harvey rolls his eyes and fires up his laptop.

“That’s it?”, she gapes.

“I meant every word I said to her yesterday so I’m not going to apologize, even less to you since I didn’t said all of it to you.”, he replies, scrolling down his emails. “And she insulted me as well, I bet she conveniently forgot to tell you that.”

“You know what?”, Donna shakes her head and walks to the door. “She tried hard to put up with you and the pain you caused to the person she loves the most. Really hard. She told me you don’t exist for her anymore.”, she snaps. “Keep up with that attitude and it’s not going to be just her or just _Mike._ You’re going to lose everybody.”, she opens the door and stomps out of his office.

 

 

Mike has a busy **Tuesday**. He walks to Alex’s offices to give Eleanor a signed copy of the contract and talk about his first assignment, and he leaves with a two-page document and a pouch of keys. He has lunch with Rachel outside of the Court House where she spent all morning and visits the association afterwards. He assists Trevor with a support group meeting and does a bit of accounting until it’s time for him to meet with Scott.

They’re having dinner again tonight because Scott insisted that he shouldn’t be alone when trying to mend a broken heart. He likes being with Scott, especially now he’s told him everything. He still feels a little bad for jumping on him just because he could, just to spite Harvey even though he didn’t even tell Harvey, but Scott doesn’t seem to resent him, it hasn’t changed anything between them. Spending time with Scott is refreshing, they’re getting to know each other and Mike hasn’t made a new friend in years. The last person he told his story to was Harvey…

He’s also glad for the opportunity to spend time with Scott because he doesn’t want to talk about _what happened_ with Rachel. He doesn’t want to talk about it anymore.

 

They order pizza, drink beer and play video games. Mike beats him on Mario Kart and when Scott makes an impressed remark on his fast learning, he tells him about his special memory skills. He quotes books and poems, recipes and manual books… and Scott tells him he’s amazing, which makes Mike’s heart do a little flip in his chest. _You’re amazing_. They were Harvey’s words, Harvey told him three times…

They grab some ice cream and talk about their favorite places in New York until they’re both yawning so much Mike decides to call it a night and take a cab home.

 

 

On **Wednesday** morning, Harvey isn’t angry anymore, he’s frustrated.

He went to a bar to get drinks last night and realized that you get bored when you’re sitting by yourself with nothing to do and nobody to talk to. A woman came to talk to him and then another, but he had made the decision to not bring anybody home, to not even _flirt_ with anybody, for at least a week, to figure out if what he thinks he feels for Mike really is what he thinks he feels for Mike. To keep his head clear while he starts setting the changes in motion. But going out alone proved boring. Before anybody else could come talk to him, he finished his glass and left the bar. It’s not like he wanted to bring someone home anyway, he didn’t. The mere idea made him sick, there was only one person he wanted to take home, only one person he wanted to kiss, only one person he wanted to share a mojito with. And he kept picturing that person finding comfort in the arms of Scott, laughing with him, signing with him… He should call Lucy next time he wants to go out, she’s good company and she socializes a lot, they’d have a good time. At least he’d have someone to talk to.

Donna hasn’t contacted him since their little altercation and he’s starting to get pissed. Maybe he was hard on Rachel, maybe he should have kept some of what he said to himself but Donna and him have been friends for more than 15 years, he should come first, or at least, Donna should be adult enough to keep things in perspective. She’ll come around, she always does, people always do when they’re mad at him.

Samantha isn’t there to welcome him when he arrives at his office, instead he finds Jessica sitting on one of the leather armchairs, reading a newspaper. There are two cups of coffee resting on the table in front of her.

“Jessica.”, he says with a nod when he comes in the room. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Jessica heaves out a theatrically loud sigh and gracefully folds the newspaper.

“How are you holding up without Ethan?”, she asks, looking up.

“Samantha isn’t half bad.”, he replies laconically.

“What happened with Donna?”, she gets up and brings him one of the coffee cups.

“Thanks.”, Harvey grabs it. “Why do you ask?”

“Because I offered her to put you both on a case and she said she’d do it only if I really couldn’t find someone else.”, Jessica raises a suspicious eyebrow.

“We had a…”, Harvey gestures loosely as he sits down at his desk. “… a little falling out. Nothing important. Give me Louis.”

“He’s not available.”, she shakes her head. Harvey knows he is, she just doesn’t want to play their little game. “Patch things up with her. Quick.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”, he replies, rolling his eyes.

“On another note, I had a call from Robert Zane.”, she takes a sit across from him. “You know his daughter works at his firm, right?”

“Yes.”, Harvey frowns, not liking where this is heading. “Why?”

“Well, he told me she’s started looking around for a new firm and Robert asked me to consider her application when it comes in.”

“No.”, Harvey replies a little too quickly.

“And may I ask why?”

 _Because she’s a bitch. Because she’s Donna’s girlfriend and we have a strong non-fraternization policy. Because I don’t want to hire her and have to see her face everyday._   He can’t tell that to Jessica, Donna would kill him. He can’t do that to her.

“Because she’s not worth it.”, he replies, which is also what he thinks.

“And how do you know that?”, Jessica huffs.

“I’ve been against her and Frank Prady twice, she’s a mediocre negotiator, she’s shy and too polite, she’s not cut out for our firm.”

“Robert sent me her billables and her track record and I have to say it’s rather impressive…”, Jessica gets back up. “I think she’d be a great addition to the financial department. I’m not asking for an immediate reply, just that you consider interviewing her when the time comes.”

“I don’t want to.”, Harvey shakes his head. “I’ve already made my decision and I don’t want to hire her.”

“Well.”, Jessica opens the door and sighs. “I’ll have her interviewed by another partner and if he finds her interesting, we’ll put it to a vote.”

“You’ll find her cute, not interesting, believe me.”, Harvey snorts. “But if you want to waste your time or another partner’s time, by all means...”

Jessica cocks her head to the side and narrows her eyes at him for a moment, clearly trying to understand why Harvey seems so adamant that they don’t even interview Robert Zane’s daughter, then she turns on her heel and shuts the door behind her.

He woke up frustrated, now he’s angry again. He cannot believe Rachel would consider applying at Pearson Specter. There is absolutely no way he’ll hire her. He’ll have her resign her application if the partners vote in her favor, he’ll threaten to tell them about her relationship with Donna, he’ll do what it takes but Rachel will never work for him.

It’s merely been 36 hours since he made the decision to respect Mike’s wish and it’s already become impossible. Donna mentioned his name yesterday and Jessica’s mentioning Rachel brought Mike back to his mind…

He checks the corridor to make sure nobody’s going to barge in his office in the next 10 seconds and logs on Facebook. If he can’t get Mike out of his head, he might as well get an update on how he’s doing. Surprisingly, his feed doesn’t show any new post from him so he types Mike’s name in the search bar and nothing comes up. He tries to find him by going through his friends list and can’t find him there either. If he remembers Neal’s little Facebook 101 well, that means Mike blocked him. And tough it makes sense since Mike asked him to not contact him again, he can’t help feeling upset.

He purses his lips and closes the browser tab. He never liked Facebook anyway.

 

 

Mike spends the better part of his day touring the 3 first condos Eleanor asked him to photograph. They’re all beautiful, fully furnished and decorated, luminous, and… huge. They all have a doorman, much like in Harvey’s building, and he shows each of them the letter Eleanor gave him.

He stays longer in the third one. It’s a 3500 square feet two-bedroom top floor penthouse situated in the heart of Manhattan. It’s not the most expensive of the three (it’s “only” $28 million), not the largest of the three, not the most outrageous of the three. But it’s the one that captures Mike’s heart. He feels at home as soon as he steps inside. Every piece of furniture is something Mike could have bought, every color is a color he would have chosen, every decoration suits him. It’s modern but cozy, big but not intimidating. But what Mike really falls in love with is the 400 square foot terrace. It’s got a large wooden dining table and matching chairs, a Jacuzzi, a comfortable-looking deck living room and a modern barbecue. He can imagine himself having a party here with his friends. He can imagine lounging on the outdoor couch on a lazy Saturday, sharing a glass of wine with Rachel, Logan, Trevor or even Scott, wrapped up in a warm blanket on a cold night. It’s perfect.

He spends two hours there, photographing every room, every detail in the penthouse, from the mosaic tiles in the Italian shower in one of the bathrooms to the pattern of the living room carpet. When he’s done, he steps out on the terrace and rubs his jeans before daring to take a seat on the couch. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, tries to imagine people having fun with him out here, little multicolored light bulbs dancing around the handrail, someone flipping burgers on the barbecue, his friends sipping wine and beer around the dining table… It sounds a lot like a night at Neal and Nick’s Hamptons home and his heart clenches painfully in his chest when a smiling Harvey appears in his perfect little dream. He didn’t even manage to refrain from thinking about him for 48 hours, it still hurts so much he has to open his eyes and take a soothing gulp of air.

He asked Harvey to not contact him but he doesn’t know if he’s glad or upset that Harvey complied.

He’ll never have Harvey and he most certainly will never be able to purchase a place like this one or buy his own place at all, so he gets back up, grabs his camera and leaves the penthouse with a heavy heart.

 

 

“Got a minute?”, Harvey asks, knocking softly on Donna’s office door.

“Yes, _boss._ ”, Donna replies with a fake smile.

Harvey rolls his eyes and comes in, closing the door.

“Jessica asked me to, quote unquote, _patch things up with you_ since we’re going to be working on a case together, so here I am.”, Harvey says without further introduction.

“Well, okay, and how do you intend to _patch things up with me_?”, she raises an eyebrow.

“I’m not apologizing to your girlfriend so I suggest you keep the personal out of the office and act professional.”, Harvey cocks his head to one side.

Donna huffs and shakes her head in bewilderment.

“Of course, _Mr. Specter_.”, she replies, going back to her computer.

“Good.”, Harvey nods. “I’ll see you tomorrow for our strategy meeting at 8 sharp.”, he adds and leaves the room.

He thought Donna would want to talk, that she would be fed up with being mad at him, that she would suggest they forget what happened and move on. But she didn’t and he’s a little unsettled by her attitude. She warned him yesterday that he would not just lose Rachel and Mike if he didn’t ease up a little bit and he’s beginning to think Donna might not come back as easily as he thought… He asked her to act professional so he’s going to do just that. She’ll come back when she misses him too much. _Right?_

Why is everybody so complicated? Why can’t Donna forgive him and move on? Why did Rachel have to poke her nose in his business? Why didn’t Mike agree to talk to him the other night? Why does Jessica want to hire Rachel? Why isn’t Samantha at her desk?

He stomps in his office and grabs his cellphone. To hell with his weeklong abstinence resolution, to hell with all his new resolutions, to hell with complicated people and situations. There’s one thing he knows is never complicated, one person he knows will make it all simple again.

 

 

Rachel and Donna meet at a restaurant near Donna’s place at 8. Rachel hasn’t spent a night home since coming back from the Hamptons and she had actually planned to have dinner with Mike and do some catching up but Mike told her he was having dinner at Scott (again) so she ultimately accepted Donna’s proposition.

“How’s Mike doing?”, Donna asks, opening her menu.

“Oh, he’s doing good.”, Rachel replies. “I haven’t seen him much in the last three days but I know he’s busy working for Alex’s agency and he spends _a lot_ of time with Scott.”, she smiles knowingly.

“You think, um, something happened?”, Donna asks, filling up their glass when the waiter brings them the bottle their ordered. She’s still mad at Harvey but she still thinks Mike and him would be great together. And Mike’s spending time with Scott isn’t good news, especially since she’s not talking to Harvey…

“I don’t know but they seem to have a lot of fun together, judging by the pictures they both post on Facebook.”, Rachel smiles. “Mike told me he was just a friend, but I’m sure things can change with time, especially after what happened with Harvey.”

“Has he talked to you about that?”

“No, he said there was nothing left to say, he doesn’t want to talk about it…”, Rachel replies, bringing her glass to her lips. “Nice.”, she nods approvingly.

“It’s my favorite wine.”, Donna smiles.

“Speaking of Harvey, there’s something I want to ask you.”, Rachel puts her glass down and straightens up. “What would you think if I applied for a job at Pearson Specter?”

“You want to? I mean, you want to leave your father’s firm?”

“Of all the things Harvey told me the other night, there’s one thing I agree with: I’m working for my father, or at least for his firm, and I need a new challenge. I need to prove myself that I can succeed without his supervision.”, Rachel explains. “I know I found this job on my own and I’ve done great in the last 4 years, but I think it’s time for me to step out of my comfort zone.”, she smiles. “So, what do you think?”

“I… I don’t know.”, Donna looks away. “I don’t see Harvey hiring you. _At all_. But I think it’s worth the try.”

“Would you mind us working at the same firm?”

“No, quite the opposite actually.”, Donna grins. “But we would have to keep our relationship secret.”

“Of course.”, Rachel nods.

“Well then, to new beginnings.”, Donna raises her glass with a smile.

 

 

Scott and Mike decide to have dinner at Mike’s for a change and Mike shows him the pictures of the penthouse he fell in love with.

“How much is this beauty?”, Scott asks, cracking open a can of beer.

“28 million.”, Mike sighs.

“What?”, Scott chokes on his beer. “According to my bank, I can barely afford a 800-grand apartment, I can’t imagine how much you have to make to buy this kind of places.”

“A lot, I guess.”, Mike closes the lid of his computer. “You should see Rachel’s parents’ mansion.”

“Does her mother work?”

“Yes, she’s a judge. They both make tons of money.”, Mike replies, grabbing a beer. “I’ll never be able to buy my own place.”, he makes a sad pout and takes a sip.

“Maybe not one of those.”, Scott points at the computer. “But I’m sure you will. I have a feeling the job you just got is the beginning of a new chapter for you.”, he winks. “You can start by renting your own place.”

“I’d get bored living on my own… But I will have to look for a place eventually as I’m sure Rachel and Donna will move in together soon. Don’t ask me why, but I feel it.”

“See it as an opportunity to finally fly on your own.”, Scott squeezes his knee. “You’re perfectly capable of it and it’s part of life, you fly out of the nest and live your own life. It wasn’t easy for me to leave my parents’ home. I cried myself to sleep for a month before I realized that this new freedom was great, that it was my chance to be my own man.”

Mike smiles but he suddenly feels sad. Sad that his nest is this apartment he shares with Rachel. That his whole family is Rachel. What is “his own life” anyway? Does it involve being forever alone in a crappy studio apartment in Brooklyn? He suddenly feels very depressed and his shoulders feel heavy, his heart feels like it’s full of unshed tears. He wouldn’t want his parents or his Grammy to see what he’s become: a single, struggling, poor and almost-still-virgin man. Scott wants him, Scott’s here for him, even when Mike screws up, even though Mike told him he’d rather stay friends with him. Scott is a handsome, kind and smart man. They both like to play video games and talk for hours. Scott understands him. Mike could want him. He definitely could.

Acting on a sudden impulse, lead by a sudden sadness and longing, Mike leans in and kisses him.

“Mike…”, Scott breathes.

“Please.”, Mike begs, moving closer to him and teasing Scott’s lips with his tongue. “Kiss me…”, he angles his head to deepen the kiss. “Hold me…”

He feels the moment Scott gives in and he sighs contently when arms wrap around his waist, pulling him, urging him to move even closer. Which he does, climbing on Scott’s lap.

When their tongue meet, Mike instantly relaxes, he instantly feels lighter. And he knows it’s temporary, he knows it’s fake, he knows it’s wrong, he knows it’s selfish. But he needs it, he needs to be held and feel loved and wanted.

Scott kisses him very differently then Harvey. It’s gentler, shyer, more cautious. He doesn’t smell like Harvey, he smells like cheap cologne and soap with a hint of sweat. It’s different and reassuring, familiar yet very new, it’s not intimidating.

Soon, kissing is not enough so he pulls away and starts unbuttoning Scott’s shirt.

“Mike.”, Scott grabs his chin and forces him to look up. “We shouldn’t do this.”

“Let’s not think about tomorrow or even later tonight.”, Mike licks his lips. “Let’s just have fun, okay?”, he asks, sliding a hand in Scott’s half-open shirt and touching his ribs.

He’s aware of what he’s asking here, of what he’s not saying. He’s aware it’s terribly selfish to ask for a one-time thing from a man who he knows would want more. But Scott can still say no, can still refuse, and he takes his time unbuttoning the rest of Scott’s shirt, giving him time to make up his mind, to stop this from going any further.

“Okay.”, Scott grabs Mike’s face and crushes their mouth together. “Okay…”, he moans into the kiss.

 

 

“Long time no see.”, Scottie smirks when she joins Harvey at the table where he’s been nursing his drink for almost an hour.

“Nice of you to show up.”, he replies, rolling his eyes.

“I was in court.”, she takes a seat and grabs his glass. “I won.”, she smiles and takes a sip of scotch.

“Wow, this calls for celebration!”, Harvey mocks. “Let’s order champagne!”

“Just because I lost against your deaf protégé doesn’t mean I always do, and you know I always win.”, she leans back in her chair and finishes the glass.

Harvey’s chest does a funny thing at the mention of Mike but he hides it behind his trademark cocky smile. Scottie is an amazing lawyer, she just didn’t stand a chance against an organization for deaf people.

“Hungry?”, he asks because he didn’t call her to make small talk and drink scotch. Nor did he to have dinner, but he knows she’ll take the hint.

“Nope.”, she raises a knowing eyebrow and gets up when Harvey takes out his wallet and places a couple of bills on the table. “Cab?”

“My car.”, Harvey replies, standing back up.

 

They talk about Scottie’s win in the car. It’s always been their little ritual: no touching each other before they’re safe inside Harvey’s place or hers.

They go way back. They met at Harvard, in the cafeteria on orientation day. Scottie never became part of their group of friends, she didn’t like Neal and Donna (it was reciprocal) and was too involved in her studies to make friends. She made an exception for Harvey with whom she sometimes had lunch or studied. After they both graduated, Daniel Hardman hired her and Harvey went to work for the DA, and they went out for drinks from time to time. Surprisingly, they didn’t sleep together until Scottie left the firm after two years and he took over her position. That’s when they started seeing each other and became sex buddies. Scottie never asked for more. They stopped seeing each other for long periods of time when she wasn’t single, when Harvey met Alex and got married… but they picked up right where they off when he got divorced since she was also single. That’s what Harvey likes about her, she’s uncomplicated and doesn’t let feelings encumber her life. Like Harvey, her job comes first. They would make a great power couple, he’s given it a lot of thoughts in the past, but he doesn’t like her that way. And she doesn’t either anyway. So he calls her when he needs arms and warm skin, affection and praises, roughness or gentleness, caresses and pleasure. It works for the both of them and she’s all Harvey needs tonight: a convenient uncomplicated nookie.

When they finally reach the top floor of his building, he shoves her against the nearest wall and pulls up her skirt before sliding a hand in her dark lace panties.

“Rough week?”, Scottie asks, grabbing his face.

“No kissing.”, Harvey blurts and he has no idea why he just said that.

“Oh.”, she raises an eyebrow and grabs his wrist, pulls his hand out of her panties. “And why not?”

Harvey doesn’t reply because he doesn’t know, all he knows is he doesn’t want anybody to kiss him. He slides his free hand between her legs and leans in to kiss her neck.

“Specter.”, she pushes him away before pulling down her skirt. “You know I normally wouldn’t mind, you’ve set some pretty weird but pleasurable rules all these years, but when we decided to do this, we agreed on two non negotiable things.”, she folds her arms across her chest. “You remember what they were? Well, let me refresh your memory. First, we agreed that our past or current relationships wouldn’t interfere, that we would leave them out of the bedroom. Second, we promised that we wouldn’t do this if one of us wasn’t single.”

“Yes, of course I remember.”, Harvey huffs. “What’s the problem?”

“I don’t see why I couldn’t kiss you unless you’re in a relationship.”

“No, I just…”, Harvey runs a hand through his hair. He needs to figure out why he said that, why he still feels that way even though it means ruining his chances of fucking her. “I just don’t want, um… Everything else is fine, it’s no big deal.”

“Are you seeing someone, Harvey?”, she asks and she’s starting to look pissed.

“No, I am not.”, he replies, as convincingly as he can.

“Then what’s going on?”, she sighs and rolls her eyes.

“Nothing!”

“Okay…”, she sighs again and picks up her handbag from the floor. “Maybe you’re not, though I don’t believe it, but it’s clear that I’m not the person you’d rather be with tonight so I’m going to go.”

“Scottie, wait.”, Harvey grabs her elbow. “Look-“

“No, Harvey.”, she shakes her head. “It’s okay. I’m not mad, you can call me when you’ve set your mind straight. This thing between us…”, she gestures between them. “… it works because we don’t bring feelings or complications in it. You know what I think about cheating.”, she pushes the private elevator button and the glass door slides open. “Bye, Harvey.”, she gives him a pitiful smile.

Harvey watches the transparent cabin disappear and he heaves out a loud, long sigh. _Just great_. He wouldn’t have been cheating on anybody with Scottie. He’s single, he just didn’t want to kiss her, for whatever reason… He knows it’s a pretty ridiculous demand, he knows they both like kissing very much and it’s a huge part of an enjoyable sexual intercourse. But he doesn’t want to be kissed and he doesn’t want to kiss and he most certainly doesn’t want to think about why he feels that way. It’s not even 10pm and his evening was just ruined, there’s only one other thing that can make him feel better. One thing he keeps for desperate situations only because it shouldn’t happen too often, because it could be dangerous if he used it for comfort as often as he uses sex. He’s been there, done that and he doesn’t want it to become a habit again.

He toes off his shoes, gets rid of his tie and vest and walks to his liquor cabinet. He takes out a crystal tumbler and his favorite bottle of scotch as well as a small rusty metal box. It’s been a rough day, a rough half-week like Scottie suggested, and he’s feeling lonelier than he has in a long time. He suddenly envies Paul and Liz and all these couples, these people who come home to someone they love, someone they’re happy to see and who’s happy to see them. Someone they can talk to. But for all these happy couples, there are thousands of unhappy wives and husbands who would want nothing more than a quiet night on their own, than to get away for a few days, a few weeks, for good.

There isn’t such a thing as a perfect situation, a perfect couple, a perfect anything. Everything is complicated and requires work. He wants simplicity tonight, more than ever, he wants to quiet the voices in his head, to forget about Donna, Rachel, Mike, Jessica, Samantha, Pearson Specter… _everything_.

He leans back in his chair and brings his glass pipe to his lips. He needs to talk to Donna. He doesn’t care if that means being the first to cave in, even if it means admitting to having crossed a line, even if it means having to apologize to Rachel, he’ll do it because he misses her like crazy.

 

 

After a long, arousing make-out session, Scott and Mike move to Mike’s bedroom and quickly get rid of their underwear, which is the last piece of clothing they still had on. 

They’re both very hard and panting and Mike whines when Scott breaks their non-stop kissing and pushes him onto the bed.

“I want you so much.”, Scott moans before positioning himself between Mike’s inviting legs. “I know I’m going to regret this…”, he says with a sad smile that manages to break Mike’s heart despite his state of arousal. “… but I-“, he bites his bottom lip when Mike bucks his hips, causing their cocks to rub against each other. “ _Fuck._ ”

Mike is probably going to regret this as well, for various reasons he doesn’t want to think about right now. Right now he needs to focus on the strong hands caressing his chest, on the athletic body offered to him, on the leaking cock rubbing against his own. He can do this, he can get over Harvey, he can stop his mind from imagining Harvey’s hands cradling his face, from imagining Harvey’s breath hitching against the sensitive skin of his collarbones. He can do it.

Scott leans forward and kisses him, pressing their naked bodies together, burying his hands in Mike’s hair and tugging gently.

Mike wraps his legs around Scott’s waist and rolls his hips. He wants friction, he wants release. He feels Scott moaning something into their kiss and he opens his eyes when Scott lets go of him and kneels back up.

“Come here.”, he orders with a playful smile.

Mike props himself on his knees and falls into Scott’s embrace, reveling in its warmth and tenderness. A tenderness which doesn’t last as Scott’s hands slide down from Mike’s back to his ass and grab it possessively. _Fuck yeah. Please_. He moans when a fingers starts teasing his crack, deeper and deeper until it finally lands on his hole. It’s not entirely new for him, he’s toyed with it before, but it’s the very first time someone else does. He arches his back, allowing Scott more room to rub his finger across his hole. He wants this, he wants to experience the fullness of being taken, the pleasure of providing pleasure, the freedom of getting rid of his virginity for good. But as Scott’s finger pushes against his fluttering hole, as it pushes to breach the ring of muscle, he cannot help but wish it was Harvey. He squeezes his eyes shut, buries his nose in the crook of Scott’s neck, breathes him in. It’s Scott, not Harvey.

_When we do this, I want us to be totally alone and I want to fuck you and make you come until you can’t even talk anymore and I want to hear you scream and I want to make you come and come again and fuck you again in the morning when you’re still loose and open for me, just for me…_

His eyes jerk open when Scott’s hands suddenly leave his body.

“What’s wrong?”, he asks, swallowing thickly.

“You just called me Harvey.”, Scott replies and purses his lips.

“I did? I, uh, I mean, uh…”

“It’s okay.”, Scott shakes his head and crawls out of the bed. “It wasn’t a good idea anyway.”, he says, picking up his boxers from the floor and leaving the bedroom.

“Scott, wait!”, Mike calls.

 _Fuck_. He puts on his underwear and walks to the living room.

“Scott, I’m really sorry.”, he says, biting the inside of his cheek. He’s such an asshole… What he just did is way worse than what Harvey did to him. And he did this to the nicest guy he knows, to his new friend.

“ _It’s okay._ ”, Scott signs, not looking up.

“No, it’s not.”, Mike takes a tentative step towards him. “I’m sorry, I’m a complete jerk. I…”, he gulps when his throat tightens and tears start gathering in his eyes.

Scott zips up his pants and looks up. He looks sad but not mad.

“No, you’re not.”, he says but he doesn’t smile. “I knew what I was getting myself into.”, he adds and sits down on the couch to lace his shoes.

Mike wipes his eyes and ducks his head. Getting over Harvey will take time, more time than he thought it would.

“I…”, Scott gets back up and grabs his briefcase. “I can’t be friends with you.”, he smiles sadly and cups Mike’s face with one hand. “I thought I could but I can’t. I don’t want to be your friend. It hurts too much.”

“I’m sorry…”, Mike sobs. “I’m so sorry.”

“That’s life.”, Scott sighs. “Good luck.”, he leans in for a quick kiss. “Harvey’s one lucky bastard.”, he smiles bitterly before walking to the front door and quietly leaving the apartment.

_No, Harvey’s a bastard. Period. Harvey set me up so that I would have sex with him and then said he made a mistake and broke up with me. Harvey’s a son of a bitch, that’s what he is!_

He should text that to Harvey, god he’d feel so much better afterwards… He should yell at him for letting him fall in love with him when he knew he’d break his heart, for being so insensitive, he should ask him how he can look at himself in the mirror everyday.

Hell, how is _Mike_ going to be able to look at himself in the mirror after what he did to Scott?

He wipes his eyes again and starts clearing the coffee table. He’s lost Harvey _and_ Scott. _Great_ , _just fucking great_.

 

 

When Donna’s alarm comes off on **Thursday** morning, she opens her eyes and smiles at the sleeping silhouette lying next to her. Last night was amazing. The sex as much as the talk they had afterwards. Rachel reaffirmed her choice to stay with her, she told her her mum texted her to tell her she was happy to have met Donna. They talked about Harvey and Mike (they couldn’t reach an agreement on what to think of their current situation), about Scott, about Rachel’s desire to look for another firm and finally called it a night a little after one.

Donna grabs her phone and turns it off before lying back down and pulling Rachel close to her.

“Mmmhhh.”, Rachel mumbles, turning around. “Hey.”, she smiles sleepily when she opens her eyes.

“Hey.”, Donna smiles back and kisses her. “I have to hurry, I have a meeting with Harvey at 8.”, she stroke her cheek.

“And I have to drop at my place.”, Rachel yawns. “Go shower, I’ll fix you a coffee.”

“You’re the best, you know that, princess?”, Donna pulls her into another kiss.

 

Harvey’s an hour late to their meeting and she’s rather pissed. But when he finally comes in the conference room Samantha booked for them, she’s not sure she should yell at him. He looks like he hasn’t had a minute of sleep, his eyes are dark and red-rimmed and he hasn’t bothered to shave. At least his suit looks pristine and his hair is impeccable.

“I know, I’m late, sorry.”, he says through greeted teeth and when he sits down next to her and she can get a better look at him, she knows what he was up to. She knows that look, she’s seen it a hundred times, years ago. He smoked, and not just pot.

“It’s okay, but you could have called.”, she says, opening her folder. She doesn’t want to make him feel worse than he seems to be but she’d still like to make a point. He asked her to be here at 8 _sharp_ and act professional, after all. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.”, Harvey replies, taking out his files from his briefcase. “Would you prefer to be first or second chair?”

“You’d really let me lead this?”, Donna gapes.

“If you want to, yes.”

“Well, then, I’d love to.”, she grins.

 

Two hours later, they’re still busy building their strategy. They work really well together. When they graduated from Harvard and he chose to become a prosecutor, she laughed at him and said she didn't give him two years before he changed for corporate law. Which he did exactly two years later. When he joined Pearson Hardman, he spent a year trying to convince her to join him and she did, only much later. They won a dozen cases together, she was always second chair, but since her being appointed senior partner a year ago, they haven’t worked together. And Harvey realizes how much he’s missed it. She’s quick minded, thinks outside the box and knows her subject. They think alike, they make a great team.

They’re in the middle of figuring out the different reactions their strategy could elicit from the defense when Donna’s phone rings.

“I need to take that, I’m supposed to have lunch with her in an hour.”, she says, showing the screen to Harvey. “Hey princess.”, she smiles when she picks up. “What? Rachel, what’s wrong? I don’t understand you, plea-“, she gets up and covers her mouth. “When?” “Oh my god… Please, princess, stop crying, I don’t understand what you’re saying.” “Okay, I got that, how is he?”, she asks and turns her back to Harvey. “Okay, keep me posted.” “Love you.”

She hangs up and takes a deep breath. When she doesn’t turn back around, Harvey stands up and walks up to her.

“What’s going on?”, he asks cautiously.

“Mike was hit by a car, he’s at the hospital.”, Donna replies, her voice barely a whisper.

Harvey’s heart drops in his chest. _Mike was hit by a car_.

“Wh-“, he starts to speak but finds himself unable to form a complete sentence.

“She didn’t tell me much.”, Donna replies, turning around and placing a comforting hand on his forearm. “I think I understood that it happened in front of his offices. He was with his deaf friend, Travis or something, and a car hit him. I didn’t understand everything she said, she was crying hysterically.”

Harvey exhales shakily and looks away. _Mike was hit by a car_. He needs to get his head right and figure out his next move. He certainly can’t resume this meeting, he couldn’t care less about their strategy, or even his job right now. He needs to know how Mike is doing.

“Okay.”, he clears his throat and swallows thickly. “If it happened near his offices, he must have been taken to a hospital in Brooklyn.”, he walks to the table and grabs his cellphone with trembling hands. “Where’s Hope again?”, he mumbles to himself while searching through his contact list. “I don’t have the address.”, he sighs in frustration. “Um…”, he looks up and stares at the conference table. “Could you, uh-“

“Go.”, Donna says with a small smile. “I’ll take care of it.”

“Thank you.”, Harvey nods and purses his lips.

He wants to say more than this. He wants to thank her for letting him go, and he just did, but he also wants to thank her for understanding, for _knowing_.

He tries to smile and leaves the room. He all but runs to his office and Samantha jumps when he calls her name from the other end of the corridor.

“Call Ray, tell him to meet me here as soon as he can!”, he orders and hurries to his computer. He googles _Hope_ , enters the address on GoogleMap and scribbles down the address of the nearest hospital.

“Ray’s waiting for you downstairs.”, Samantha pokes her head around the door.

“Thank you.”, Harvey jumps on his feet, slides his phone in his pocket and runs to the elevators.

 

“Everything okay, Harvey?”, Ray asks with a concerned face when he sees his favorite client running to the car.

“No.”, Harvey shakes his head and doesn’t wait for Ray to open the car door for him. “Please, drive me there.”, he hands him the paper with the address.

“Sure.”, Ray nods and quickly starts the engine. He knows better than to ask questions and he knows that his discretion is greatly appreciated by the usually suave and put together lawyer.

He glances at Harvey in the rearview mirror and turns the volume up. Jazz is Harvey’s favorite music and if he doesn’t want to talk to Ray, Ray might as well provide him with a soothing music background. He hopes it’s not his brother, or Donna…

 

“Could you wait for me?”, Harvey asks when Ray pulls over in front of the ER. “I’m not sure it’s the right hospital.”

“Sure, Harvey.”, Ray smiles kindly. “Just text me if it’s okay and I’ll go.”

“Thank you.”, Harvey steps out of the car and, again, runs to the building.

The waiting room is packed with old people, crying kids and loud sick people and Harvey takes a second to catch his breath before walking to the reception counter.

“Hi.”, he says to the middle-age lady who doesn’t look up from her stack of charts. “I, uh… My name’s Harvey Specter, a friend of mine was admitted here, or at least I think he was… I’m not sure… um-“

“Okay.”, the woman finally looks up. “Take a deep breath and say that again.”

Harvey takes a deep breath, and another one.

“A friend of mine was hit by a car this morning.”, he says and takes yet another deep breath. “I don’t know where he was taken.”

“I’m not allowed to give this kind of information to friends, I’m afraid, Sir.”, she replies with an apologetic smile. “Only family members.”

“I understand, and I know how it works.”, Harvey nods jerkily. “I’m a lawyer, I know the rules but-“, he exhales shakily. “He doesn’t have, um, family members.”

“Oh, and would his emergency contact’s first name be Rachel by any chance?”, she asks.

“Yes, yes, that’s him.”, he confirms. “Rachel Petty- uh _Zane_. So, he’s here?”

“Yes, he was admitted two hours ago.”, she replies. “That’s all I can say to you, Sir. But Miss Zane is here, somewhere.”, she gestures around the room.

“Thank you, um, Brenda.”, he smiles. “Thanks a lot.”, he repeats, taking out his phone and texting Ray that he’s free to go.

Okay. _Mike is here_. Now he needs to find Rachel and convince her to talk to him.

He jerks around when a hand pokes his shoulder. Standing before him is a visibly distressed Trevor. His eyes are puffy and his hair is a complete mess. He remembers that Donna mentioned him being with Mike when the accident occurred. He doesn’t look injured.

“Hey.”, he smiles and waves. “Okay?”, he asks, raising a tentative thumb.

Trevor nods and points at him with a questioning look.

“Yes, I’m okay.”, Harvey nods.

Trevor begins to sign. Using his two hands he draws a smile on his face and then shakes his head with a sad pout.

“Uh…”, Harvey makes an apologetic face and Trevor holds up a hand.

“M-Mike?”, he says with an expectant look.

“Yes, Mike.”, Harvey nods though he has no idea what Trevor is trying to say.

“Mike.”, Trevor repeats, drawing a smile on his face again.

“What Trevor’s trying to say…”, a familiar voice comes from behind and he turns around. “is that this.”, Rachel repeats the sign Trevor just did. “Is Mike’s sign name. A sign name is a way of talking about someone without having to spell their whole name.”, she explains and then turns to Trevor and starts signing.

She must have asked him to go wait for her or something because he gives Harvey a sad smile and walks away.

“What are you doing here?”, Rachel snaps.

“I want to know how Mike is doing.”, Harvey replies as kindly as he can. He’s not in a position of strength here and he’s not surprised by Rachel’s angriness.

“Well, thanks for stopping by, but you’re not welcome here.”, she replies.

“Look, I know I was a jerk and I’m sorry for what I said, for hurting you, for hurting-“

“Oh no, no, no.”, Rachel cuts him sharply. “Don’t even try to apologize, it’s too late. Go away!”

“Rachel!”

They both turn around Harvey rolls his eyes internally when he sees Scott running towards them. Of course Rachel called him…

“I came here as fast as I could, what happened?”, he asks breathlessly. “Hi, Mr. Specter.”, he nods politely.

“Thank you for coming, Scott.”, Rachel pulls him into a hug. “Let’s go talk somewhere else.”, she glares at Harvey when she pulls away.

“Rachel, please.”, Harvey begs. “Just tell me how he’s doing.”

“No, Harvey.”, Rachel shakes her head. “This is none of your business now. Mike wouldn’t want you to know anyth-“

“Actually, I think Mike would want him to know how he is doing.”, Scott steps in tentatively. “No, scratch that, I _know_ he would. And you know it too.”, he quickly adds with a knowing look.

Rachel purses her lips and looks away.

“Mike and Trevor had a meeting in Manhattan.”, she says after a moment. “They were coming out of their offices and they…”, she swallows audibly. “The light was green for pedestrians and they didn’t hear the car driving in their direction. It ran the red light, hit Mike and drove away.”, she covers her mouth as tears fall down her cheeks.

 _Fucking son of a bitch_. Harvey rubs his face to ease the tension in his jaw.

“Oh my god…”, Scott shakes his head. “How is he?”

“He was still unconscious when they brought him here and…”, she sobs. “I haven’t been able to talk to a doctor yet. It’s…”, she exhales sharply and clears her throat. “They told me it’s a very busy day. They told me to wait, that a doctor would come talk to me as soon possible.”

“Okay.”, Scott nods. “So we wait.”, he sighs with a sad smile. “Coffee?”

“Yes, please.”, Rachel smiles gratefully.

“Uh, well, yes, why not, thanks.”, Harvey replies when Scott raises a quizzing eyebrow at him.

“You’re lucky he arrived when he did.”, Rachel tells him when Scott’s out of earshot. “If it was up to me…”, she starts to say but doesn’t finish her sentence. Harvey gets it anyway. And he knows he deserves her scorn.

He is lucky, indeed. He would never have expected Scott to side with him.

“Miss Zane!”, a strong voice startles them. “Is there a Miss Rachel Zane here?”

“Yes!”, Rachel exclaims when she turns around and sees the doctor. “That’s me!”, she waves and heads in his direction.

Harvey follows her, bracing himself for whatever the man is going to tell them.

“How is he?”, Rachel asks with a concerned frown.

“You’re here for Michael Ross, right?”, the man asks and Rachel nods and licks her lips. “I’m doctor Bennett.”, he offers his hand and she shakes it.

Dr. Bennett raises an eyebrow at Harvey.

“He can stay.”, Rachel simply replies in a sigh.

“Okay.”, the man purses his lips and glances at the chart he’s holding. “He was still unconscious when he was brought in and since we had no idea what happened, his friend couldn’t um…”, he makes a weird gesture with his free hand. “… we had to put him into a medically induced coma so we could proceed with our series of exams. I’ve never seen so many past injuries on a patient before, do you know how he got them?”

“He was in a car accident when he was 9 and…”, Rachel bites her bottom lip and gulps. “He was badly injured.”

“That does explain a lot, indeed.”, the doctor nods as he writes something down and Harvey’s heart tightens in his chest at the mention of the traumatic incident that changed Mike’s life forever. “He didn’t break anything this time, he was very lucky, so to speak. Everything seems fine, except maybe for a couple of bruises, a sprained wrist and a benign bump on his head.”, he explains and Rachel heaves out a loud relieved sigh. “ _But_ , since he lost consciousness for so long, I cannot be sure. His vitals are perfect, everything looks fine but we’ll really know for sure when he wakes up.”

“And when do you think it’ll be?”, Rachel asks.

“We cannot know for sure. The drug should wear off in 5 or 6 hours but there is no absolute certainty that he’ll wake up.”, the man replies. “I suggest you go home and get some rest. The hospital will call you when he wakes up, there’s no need to wait here.”

“Mike’s deaf.”, Rachel says. “He will need someone he knows with him when he wakes up, I don’t mind waiting.”

“It’s up to you, Miss Zane.”, the doctor holds up a hand as Scott comes back holding three coffee cups with evident difficulty. “What you need to focus on right now is that your friend was very lucky. The rest is up to him.”

“Thank you, doctor.”, Rachel sniffs.

“Hang in there.”, the man smiles and walks away.

“Let me help you.”, Harvey turns to Scott and grabs two cups before handing one to Rachel.

“So, is Mike okay?”, Scott asks, stretching his free hand.

“The doctor said they found nothing when they examined him but they had to put him into a coma and he won’t wake up for at least another 5 hours.”, Rachel replies. “Thank you.”, she says before bringing the cup to her lips.

“Okay…”, Scott swallows thickly. “So, that’s good news, right?”

“Yeah, but they can’t know for sure until he wakes up.”, Harvey replies.

“You guys can go, I’ll wait.”, Rachel sighs. “It’s crowded and I’m sure you both have things to do. I’ll keep you posted.”

“Are you sure?”, Scott asks with a worried look.

“Yes, thank you for coming.”, Rachel smiles. “I need to go talk to Trevor, tell him Mike’s fine for now, he must be freaking out.”

“Okay.”, Scott nods.

Harvey doesn’t want to go, he wants to wait here, he wants to be there when Mike opens his eyes, he wants to make sure he’s getting the best possible care, he wants to see him. But he doesn’t want to push his luck, he wouldn’t know all of this if it wasn’t for Scott’s intervention.

“Let us know as soon as there’s news.”, he says. “Please.”, he quickly adds.

“I will.”, Rachel nods.

Scott exhales sharply and turns on his heel. Harvey follows him at a safe distance, sensing that he should say something to him.

“Scott.”, he finally manages to say as they step out on the sidewalk.

“Yes?”, Scott stops and turns.

“Thank you for, uh, you know…”, he gestures towards the building doors.

“Don’t thank me.”, Scott shakes his head. “I may not like you and I may not understand what Mike sees in you but what I said was the truth. He’s mad at you right now, but he loves you.”, he smiles sadly. “He’ll be thrilled to see you when he wakes up.”

Harvey doesn’t know what to respond to that and he feels bad for Scott. The sadness in his eyes tells Harvey everything Scott doesn’t: he likes Mike.

“See you.”, Scott waves and walks away.

 

Harvey can’t focus for the rest of the afternoon. He glances at his watch and checks the ringer volume of his cellphone every two minutes, and doesn’t eat the hotdog Donna brings him.

When it finally buzzes at 6pm, it feels like he can breathe again.

_“Mike is awake.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm [SoSauffie](http://sosauffie.tumblr.com) on tumblr!


	21. Lucky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet another long chapter. Once again, I seriously considered cutting this long piece in two parts but my fingers wouldn't stop typing haha So here it is.  
> I think there will be one or two more chapters but you never know. I could come up with another plot twist and embark into a ten-chapter resolution...  
> Anyway, thank you guys again A LOT for your generous support. I wish there was a stronger word than "thank you", because it doesn't even begin to convey how grateful I am for you, precious readers.  
> Hope you like this chapter <3

Harvey doesn’t call Ray this time, he calls Donna’s office, tells him that he got a text from Rachel telling him Mike had woken up, and asks her to drive him there. Of course, Donna agrees, she also had gotten a text and already told Rachel she’d meet her at the hospital anyway.

They don’t talk on the way to Brooklyn, even when they get stuck in traffic and don’t move for a whole 10 minutes. Even when Harvey turns on the radio and rolls down his window despite the AC. Even when he takes off his tie and carelessly balls it up before putting it in his briefcase. She wants to ask him why he smoked crack, if it was the first time since he quit years and years ago, she wants to talk about their fight, she wants an apology. But she doesn’t speak, she keeps her eyes on the road and her thoughts for another time, for a better time.

Rachel is standing in front of the hospital main entry when they finally get there. When he got the text, Harvey didn’t tell her he was coming, he replied with an emoji he thought conveyed his relief. But either Donna told her they were coming or she guessed they would because she doesn’t look surprised to see them.

“Hey.”, Donna smiles and they exchange a quick kiss.

“He’s with the doctors right now but they said he could have visitors.”, Rachel says as they go through the automatic doors.

“How is he?”, Harvey asks and clears his throat.

“Medically speaking, he’s doing perfect.”, Rachel replies and pushes the elevator button. “But he’s in a snappy mood.”, she purses her lips. “He hates hospital and wants to go home.”

“Why isn’t he going home if he’d doing fine?”, Donna asks as they step in the cabin.

“He was out of it for about an hour before they had to put him into a coma so the doctors want to keep an eye on him.”

Harvey and Donna both nod and they ride up to the 11th floor, “Trauma Unit”, in silence. As the cabin approaches its destination, Harvey’s finding it harder to breathe and his heart is racing in his chest. He hates hospital too. The distinct smell, the background noise, the white coats running around the corridors…

“Okay.”, Rachel says when they step out of the elevator. “I’m going to go in.”, she points at a closed door, room 1167. “I’ll tell him you’re here to see him but I can’t guarantee that he’ll want to see you, he’s in a really bad mood.”

“Okay.”, Harvey replies and swallows thickly.

Donna grabs his hand and squeezes it and they both watch as Rachel carefully enters the room, leaving the door ajar.

They don’t hear anything for a long moment, and Harvey guesses they must be signing. He has no idea what he’ll say to Mike, now’s probably not the right time to talk about what happened on Monday, not the right place to apologize for being a dick. But he wants to see Mike, he wants to make sure he’s okay, see it with his own eyes, touch his hand, let him know he’s here…

“Rachel, I said no!” finally echoes in the room, making them both jump.

“He’s worried about you.”, they hear Rachel reply in a gentle tone. “He came here this morning when he learned about what happened.”

“You told him?!”, Mike exclaims. “I thought you hated him! I don’t want to see him, I told him I didn’t want to see him so what is he even doing here? Tell him to go away.”

Donna gulps and ducks her head, she can’t look at Harvey right now, she can’t imagine how he must feel. Instead of words, she squeezes his hand again.

“Okay…”, they hear Rachel sigh loudly. “Do you want to see Donna?”

“Yes. And call Scott again, I want to see him.”

Rachel reappears moments later, a genuine apologetic look on her face.

“I’m sorry…”, she says to Harvey. “He-“

“I heard.”, Harvey cuts her. “Thank you for trying, though. I’m going to go.”, he turns on his heel.

“Harvey.”, Donna grabs his arm. “I’ll meet you at your place later, okay? Let’s say 9, so I can drop at my place to get my stuff. I’ll bring dinner.”

“Whatever.”, Harvey mumbles and walks away.

Donna heaves a long sigh and watches him disappear around the corner.

“I’ll stay with him tonight.”, she turns to Rachel. “He wasn’t doing good this morning, I’m worried about him.”

“Of course.”, Rachel smiles understandingly. “You want to see Mike?”

“Sure.”, Donna nods and Rachel opens the door for her.

“I’ll go grab a coffee for Mike.”, Rachel says and kisses her before walking away.

Donna enters the room and closes the door behind her.

Mike is lying on his back, his face turned to the window.

“Hey Superman.”, she smiles fondly when he becomes aware of her presence.

He looks tired, there are dark circles under his eyes and a huge bruise on his right cheekbone.

“Hey.”, he smiles back weakly.

“How are you feeling?”, she asks, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

“I’m good.”, he sighs. “They found nothing and yet they’re refusing to let me go home.”

“I guess they want to make sure your head is okay.”, Donna strokes his knee. “You were hit by a car, Mike. You’re a very lucky man.”

Mike shrugs and looks away and Donna can’t help a chuckle. He looks exactly like a bratty teenager and even though she feels a little bad for him, she still finds him irresistibly endearing. Considering Harvey’s own ability to behave like a frustrated teenager, she can imagine the sulk fest that would take place in their household. That is if they were both willing to act like grown-up and goddamn talk.

“Come on…”, she squeezes his knee to catch his attention. “Stop sulking.”, she gently scolds him when he looks at her. “How’s your friend doing? The one who was with you?”

“Trevor, he’s fine, thank god.”, Mike replies. “He was here when I woke up.”, he smiles. “He told me he got the car’s plate and that a couple of people gave the paramedics their number in case we needed witnesses if we were planning on suing.”

“That’s great.”, Donna nods approvingly. “Do you consider suing?”

“Not really…”, Mike shakes his head. “I didn’t particularly enjoy my first and only experience in court.”, he makes a face.

“I happen to know someone whose specialty is to settle cases out of court.”, Donna smirks.

“First of all, I doubt that Harvey would want to take a case like this and second of all, if I ever decided to sue the person who did this, I wouldn’t choose him.”, Mike replies dismissively.

“Harvey told me what he did.”, Donna says with a sigh. “And when he did, I told him off, I told him I wouldn’t help him again, that I was done trying to help him win you over. I was mad.”, she nods and looks away. “Listen, I am not going to defend him or try to convince you to give him yet another chance. He screwed up badly. I don’t know if Rachel told you but he told her some pretty harsh things and I’m mad at him for that too.”, she says and she can tell from the surprise in his eyes that Rachel didn’t tell him about their argument. “All I can tell you is that he’s been miserable since it all happened. He really likes you and when he learned about what happened to you, because he was with me when Rachel called, I thought he was going to pass out. He was worried sick.”, she sighs. “You know him, he’s really bad with feelings.”, she smiles. “Wait, I'm totally defending him.”, she chuckles and Mike shakes his head with a smile. “Anyway. I’m glad you’re doing good, you scared the shit out of me.”

“Guess I’m stronger than cars.”, Mike giggles as Rachel enters the room.

“Here’s your coffee, your Highness.”, she hands him the paper cup with a pout. “Will that be all?”

“Sorry I snapped at you…”, Mike blushes. “Have you called Scott?”

“Yes and he’s, uh, he’s not coming.”, Rachel replies. “He told me to tell you he hopes you make a quick recovery and sue the crap out of the guy who did that.”

“Thanks for calling him.”, Mike brings the cup to his lips.

Rachel and Donna exchange a discreet questioning look and Donna gets back up.

“I’m going to go, visiting hours are almost over.”, she announces. “Do you know when you’ll be free to go?”, she asks.

“Probably tomorrow afternoon.”, Mike replies, putting the cup on the nightstand. “Dr. Bennett said he wanted to perform some more tests tomorrow morning.”

“Well then, let’s have dinner together tomorrow night, what do you think?”, Donna asks with a smile.

“I’d love that. I’d kill for a burger.”, he frowns at the untouched diner tray sitting on a rolling table by the window.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.”, she says and leans in to place a kiss on his forehead. “Be a good boy, alright?”

Mike rolls his eyes with a smile and waves her goodbye.

“I’ll call you tonight.”, Donna blows a kiss at Rachel. “Love you, princess.”

“Love you too.”, Rachel replies with a wink and she walks to the rolling table. “Eww.”, she grimaces when she uncovers the plate.

“I know, right?”, Mike sticks out his tongue in disgust.

“What happened with Scott?”, Rachel asks, walking back to the bed and taking Donna’s spot.

“What do you mean?”, Mike blushes.

“He sounded sad and… I don’t know, a bit off, when I called him.”, Rachel folds her arms across her chest.

“I did something stupid.”, he confesses. He might as well tell her. “I, uh… He said he couldn’t be my friend, that he thought he could but that it hurt too much.”

“Funny.”, Rachel snorts. “That reminds me of someone.”

“It’s not funny.”, Mike shakes his head. “I screwed up. I used him.”

“So why did you think he’d show up today?”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t sure…”, Mike ducks his head. “I know I hurt him but I don’t want to lose him.”

“Mike.”, Rachel places a hand on one of his, causing him to look up. “You’ve been here before, you know how much it hurts to want something from someone who you think cannot give it to you. It’s sad that you two can’t stay friends, but you need to respect his decision, you need to let him go.”

“Harvey didn’t let me go…”, Mike swallows hard. “He convinced me to go to Neal’s party, he told me what I wanted to hear to…”, he exhales sharply through his nose. “And then he said he’d made a mistake and…”

“He didn’t let you go because he thought he could give you what you wanted.”, Rachel says even though it kills her to give any credit to Harvey. “I don’t know what’s going on with this guy. One day he’s nice and the next he acts like a jerk, it’s like a cold shower every time I think I got him wrong…”, she huffs. “I don’t hate him like you said, I wish I did. But when I saw him this morning, when I saw the worry in his eyes, I tried to stand my ground and tell him to go away but...”, she licks her lips. “I don’t know what’s up with him, I can’t figure him out but what I saw in his eyes this morning, what I heard in his voice? You can’t fake that.”, she shakes her head. “He cares about you. _Deeply_.”

Mike bites the inside of his cheek and looks away. Up until now, Rachel was on his side, he could count on her to put him on the right track if he were to act stupid and cave in and give Harvey another chance. Now, he realizes, he’s on his own. He doesn’t care if Harvey “cares” about him, he doesn’t care if Harvey’s worried about him. He can’t risk hurting again like he did 4 days ago. But how is he going to stand his ground without Rachel’s help? He doesn’t trust himself with Harvey, that’s why he refused to see him.

He grabs his cup of coffee, avoiding Rachel’s eyes, and finishes it in one gulp.

Harvey was there this morning, he was here minutes ago, behind that closed door. Harvey wanted to see him. Mike’s heart painfully clenches in his chest and he closes his eyes for a brief moment before turning to Rachel.

“I’m starving…”, he sighs. “Do you think you could get me something from those vending machines?”

“Sure.”, Rachel smiles. “I’ll be right back. Then I’m going to have to leave you, it’s almost 8.”, she squeezes his hand and stands back up.

 

 

When the cab pulls over in front of the huge iron gates, Harvey takes a deep breath before handing a couple of bills to the driver and thanking him.

He hasn’t been here in 5 years. He hasn’t even driven past those gates in 5 years, having always carefully avoided the area. He doesn’t know why he’s here today, what drove him here, what he’s expecting to find. Some peace? A reason to cry?

It’s a sunny Thursday but a place like this one can never look anything but gloomy. Even the many bouquets and potted plants don’t look as bright as they would on a table or at the florist.

Harvey pushes the heavy gate and inhales shakily before climbing the stone steps leading to the main aisle. He knows exactly where to go: third aisle on the left, seventh grave.

He was only here once but he remembers everything perfectly. It wasn’t a big thing, only a few people came to the funeral. Paul managed to read a little piece he had written, a poem Harvey found so beautiful, so heartbreaking he remembers covering his ears at one point. He would have cried and he didn’t want to. Not here, not in this place where too many people cry. He was saving his tears for home, where no one would see him. And boy did he cry when he came home after the ceremony… He told Alex to go home, to leave him alone, that he needed time. It took him 3 whole days before he called Alex again.

There’s a single fresh rose lying on top of Helena’s grave. A single red rose and Harvey knows who put it there. _Paul_. He once told Harvey he visited every week and that he always brought a rose with him. He must have come here this morning.

He crouches down in front of the grave and runs his fingertips on the grey and cold stone. He’s always refused to come here because he didn’t want to become dependant on a place, on a ritual, on a sad engraved stone to remember his mum. He wanted to keep her in his heart, not to picture her lying in her coffin six feet under.

“I’m certainly not going to talk to a stone, Mommy…”, he mutters and rubs his face with a trembling hand. “We’re not in a freaking movie.”

He pats the grass to make sure it’s not wet from watering and sits down.

_Helena Regina Specter_

_1957 – 2010_

5 years… 5 years since he got the call from the hospital where he was supposed to meet her in the afternoon. She had been in the hospital for a week since experiencing a sudden relapse and was undergoing daily intensive treatment. Harvey, who had just made senior partner, had managed to rearrange his schedule to be able to spend his afternoons with her. They would play cards if she was feeling well enough, or just talk. He had always told her (almost) everything, she was his confidant, often eliciting mockery from his father. When he realized he was bi, he told her. When he lost his virginity, at 16 with the neighbor’s 21-year old daughter, he told her. She wasn’t at all happy about it and threatened to press charges against her. He managed to convince her not to by promising it wouldn’t happen again. And it didn’t until he was 18. He told her about the “movies” he got 3 grand for “acting” in and she didn’t speak to him for a week. He told her about Alex, about their instant crush and she said she couldn’t wait to meet him. Unfortunately she never got the chance to. But he didn’t tell her about the drugs he did with Sasha, she never liked him anyway. He thinks she never noticed his little addiction.

5 years… 5 years since she passed away on that rainy afternoon after her heart gave out. 5 years and there hasn’t been a single day when Harvey hasn’t had a thought for her. He misses her just as much, some days more than others. And today is one of those days. He wishes she was here, he wishes he could talk to her, she’d know what to say, she always did. She’d tell him off for screwing up, but she’d give him good advice on how to make things better, on what to do. She would have loved Mike, she was like him: extremely chatty and always optimistic.

He reaches out a hand for the rose and brings it up to his nose: it doesn’t really smell like anything. The smell of grief and death and desperation is way too strong around here, even the thousands flowers decorating the graves and the freshly cut grass can’t cover it.

“I should have brought you peonies, they were your favorite.”, he whispers, putting the rose back down. “I miss you, Mommy…”

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He doesn’t feel any better, he feels sadder, heavier, lonelier. He knew it wasn’t a good idea to come here.

He jumps when his phone starts ringing.

“Yeah.”, his voice croaks when he picks up.

“Harvey, are you okay?”, Donna asks and she sounds worried.

“Yeah. What time is it? Are you still coming over?”, he asks, getting back up and straightening his suit pants.

“Yes, I’m actually in your building and your doorman says you’re not home. Is everything alright?”

“Sorry, I… I’ll be right there.”, Harvey replies. “Sorry.”, he adds and hangs up, not trusting his voice as he feels his throat tightening even more.

“I’m not going to cry, don’t worry.”, he swallows thickly and smiles sadly at the rose. “I have to go.”, he nods and whispers a barely audible “Love you, Mommy” before rushing out of the cemetery.

 

 

Mike finishes his second granola bar and fires up his laptop, which was miraculously not broken in the accident. Words travelling fast these days, there are a dozen of get-well messages on his Facebook feed and he takes the time to answer each of them. He even posts a selfie of his bruised face with a message to thank everybody for their kind words and to tell them he’s doing good and going home tomorrow.

He chats with Rachel for a while, she tells him she’s taken the day off tomorrow and will be at the hospital at 9, and he writes an email to Eleanor to tell her what happened and that he won’t be able to work tomorrow, that he will drop by their office on Monday. He eventually calls it a night when he his eyelids begin to feel familiarly heavy.

He checks his phone one more time before turning it off and his heart rate doubles instantly when he sees that he received at text from _Harvey Specter_. He considers turning off his phone without reading it, he considers trashing it without reading it but curiosity takes over.

“ _Because you refused to see me today, I went to “visit” my mother. And now I’m pissed because she didn’t want to talk to me either. I hope you’re feeling okay. Goodnight._ ”

He bites his bottom lip as tears start filling up his eyes. He doesn’t even know why he suddenly feels so sad. Because he misses Harvey? Because he feels bad for refusing to let him in? Because he’s sad for Harvey? Maybe just because he’s tired. Maybe it’s just the after-effects of the accident…

He doesn’t know if he’s supposed to answer that, or what he’s supposed to answer. So he turns off his phone and the lights and he pulls the cover up. He wipes his nose and eyes with it and takes a deep soothing breath before giving in and falling asleep.

 

 

“Okay.”, Donna clears her throat and giggles drunkenly. “Now we’re both tipsy and relaxed, where’s your… _stuff_?”, she asks with a look she hopes conveys the seriousness of her request.

“What stuff?”, Harvey snorts, although he knows exactly what she’s talking about. “I’m not showing you my stuff. You weren’t interested 15 years ago, you’ve missed your chance.”

“Ew.”, Donna frowns. “You know that’s not what I’m talking about.”

He does. When he came home from the cemetery and met with Donna in the lobby, he thought it would be her first words to him and he was ready for a good old I’m-Donna-so-you-better-listen-to-me-little-shit talk but it didn’t come. Instead, she asked him where he was and they talked about Helena for a while. His mum liked Donna a lot and always said that his son needed to marry someone like her. Then they ordered dinner and talked some more: about Mike, Rachel, the case they were working on when they got interrupted by Rachel’s call, Paul and Liz… Harvey thought he was off the hook and that she wouldn’t bring the subject up.

“Yeah, I know…”, Harvey sighs.

“I thought you’d quite for good years ago.”, she straightens up on the couch and looks at him with worried eyes. She doesn’t look drunk at all anymore and Harvey kind of hates her for waiting for him to be pliant and weak before broaching the touchy subject.

“I did.”, he replies, pouring himself another glass of wine. “I don’t smoke crack all the time, don’t worry. It was a one-time thing.”

“Where’s your stuff.”, she asks again, getting up from the couch.

“Come on…”, Harvey sighs. “Sit down. Don’t worry, okay?”

“Remember when you used to say those exact words while swimming in your own vomit?”, she cocks her head to one side and shoots him a mean pointed look.

“That never happened.”, he snorts and shakes his head. “Sit down.”, he repeats, patting the leather beside him.

“Not until you hand it to me.”, she insists. “I’m not tired, I can wait.”

“Great.”, he purses his lips and looks away. “Then I suggest you have another glass of wine, the night’s still young.”

“Really, Harvey?!”, she exclaims. “I’m here tonight, instead of comforting my girlfriend whose best friend was hit by a car today, because I’m your best friend and I’m _worried_ for you. I have tons of better things to do than dealing with your irresponsible bullshit. You want to fuck things up with Mike and insult my girlfriend? Fine. It’s your life and you’re entitled to your own opinion about Rachel.”, she snaps. “But I am not going through what I did after we graduated from Harvard. I’m not wasting any more nights looking after you, I am not going back to worrying about you 24/7.”, she shakes her head. “I don’t want to, Harvey. So either you hand me your shit right now, and all of it, or I’m going to Rachel’s and we move on from being friends to being boss and employee.”

Harvey rolls his eyes petulantly. He doesn’t mind giving her what he has. Firstly because he could buy new paraphernalia and product anytime, secondly because he doesn’t smoke much, once or twice a year _tops_. He doesn’t want to go back to smoking daily, he’d put too much at risk. Plus, it makes him sick now when he does. But he hates orders. Especially coming from Donna, he hates her motherly tone, the fact that she’s not only ordering but also making threats. She looks decided, though, like she could really throw their friendship away if he didn’t comply. The complete mood change is throwing him off and if he wasn’t so tired, if he wasn’t so numb, he’d probably make a mistake and tell her to mind her own business and leave.

“Fine.”, he holds up a lazy hand. “But I won’t give it to you. If you want it, you get it yourself. It’s in a metal box in the liquor cabinet.”, he says and lies down on the couch. “And I wouldn’t want to waste your time, so feel free to go.”, he sighs and covers his eyes with his forearm.

“Oh no, _Harvey Reginald Specter_.”, Donna grabs the box and closes the cabinet door. “You don’t get to be mad at me when I’m trying to help you.”

“I’m not mad.”, Harvey mumbles. “ _You_ are.”

“You bet your ass I am!”, Donna walks to the kitchen and proceeds to get rid of the small amount of yellow powdery drug in the sink. “How old are you again?”, she asks rhetorically.

“38.”, Harvey replies matter-of-factly.

She rolls her eyes and trashes the plastic pouch in the bin.

“You know, Mike could have died in that car crash.”, she says. She doesn’t mean to make him feel worse, she just needs to make a point. “You’re alive, in perfect health, wealthy, with a job that you love, a perfect best friend who puts up with all your shit, an awesome group of friends, a beautiful apartment…”, she gestures around the room even though he can’t see her since he’s still covering his eyes. “I mean.”, she sighs. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m lonely…”, Harvey mumbles and the way his voice cracks at the end breaks Donna’s heart a little.

“Awww.”, she walks to the couch and tries to sit down in the very small space at the far end of it. “Poor baby.”, she squeezes one of his feet.

“Ah!”, Harvey jerks up. “Don’t do that!”, he frowns.

She smirks and moves closer to him.

“Seriously, though. You wouldn’t be so lonely if you didn’t automatically push away every person who tries to break into your bubble.”, she gives him a knowing look.

“I sent him a text.”, Harvey yawns and bends forward to grab his phone from the coffee table. “Here.”, he hands it to her.

She reads it and looks up with a sad smile.

“Come here.”, she says, opening her arms and Harvey gladly leans into her embrace.

“Scott told me Mike loved me.”, he says, his voice muffled in the silk shoulder pad of Donna’s designer dress.

“Yeah, we _all_ knew that.”, she rolls her eyes. “All of us but you…”, she sighs. “We should go to bed.”, she pulls away and yawns. “We have a strategy to set up.”

“Do you think he’ll want to see me again?”

“Yes.”, she nods and she’s never been more convinced of anything. She knows he will. “Bed now.”, she motions for Harvey to get up.

Harvey heaves out a loud sigh and finishes his glass before dragging his feet to the bedroom where he falls facedown on his bed and almost instantly falls asleep.

Donna shakes her head with a smile and turns off the light before going back to the living room where she clears the dinner table and coffee table. She grabs her overnight bag and goes to the bathroom.

Her phone starts ringing as she’s taking off her clothes and she quickly picks it up.

“Sorry, princess.”, she says. “I forgot to call you.”

“It’s okay.”, Rachel replies and she can hear her smile sleepily. “I was going to bed and I thought I’d call you to wish you a good night.”

“I got an idea.”, Donna smirks at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. “I’m getting ready to go to bed myself. Fancy a little facetime?”, she asks playfully.

“Are you naked?”, Rachel shrieks. “Oh god, give me a minute and call me back!”

 

 

Mike is woken up by a kind nurse who knows sign language (he has a feeling it’s not a total coincidence) and she stays with him while he eats his breakfast.

At 9, Rachel arrives with an authentic French croissant and his favorite Starbucks beverage and he doesn’t have the heart to tell her that he hate everything that was on his breakfast tray. And this is too good to resist anyway.

“How was your night?”, she asks, taking off her coat.

“I slept like a baby.”, he replies, his mouth full of the delicious (and still warm) French specialty. “I think I need a new mattress, this hospital bed is ten times more comfortable than my bed.”

Rachel smiles and takes a seat on the bed.

“How are you feeling?”, she asks. “Dr. Bennett said you could feel a little groggy today.”

“I’m feeling perfect.”, he replies, taking a sip of his coffee. “I can’t wait to get out, I’ve been breathing through my mouth since I opened my eyes yesterday and it’s getting a bit old.”

“It’s not that bad.”, Rachel inhales deeply. “I know you hate hospital smell but I swear to you it’s not that bad.”

Mike shakes his head and takes a big gulp of air before taking another bite of his croissant.

“Come in.”, Rachel says, turning towards the door and Mike guesses someone just knocked.

“Good morning.”, Dr. Bennett and woman enter the room. “How are you feeling, Mike?”

“I’m doing good doctor.”, Mike smiles, extending his hand.

“Good.”, the doctor nods and shakes his hand. “This is Dr. d’Alliet.”, he says, pointing at the woman who smiles politely. “She’s a world renowned ENT specialist.”

“Nice meeting you.”, she offers her hand and Mike shakes it with a slight frown. Both because her speech looks funny and because he has no idea why he would need to see an ENT specialist after having been hit by a car.

“She’s from France.”, Dr. Bennett explains with a smile, answering one of Mike’s question. “She specializes in cochlear implants.”

Mike knows everything about them. He’s done his research, he even went to see a specialist with his Grammy when his was 11 or 12 and he was declared unfit for the implants.

“Okay…”, he frowns again.

“With your permission, I would like to take a look at your ears and see if I can help you.”, the woman articulates exaggeratingly and smiles.

“No.”, Mike quickly replies. First, he can’t stand when people look at his ears or even _talk_ about his ears. And second, he knows he doesn’t meet the criteria for the CI. “I mean, I know what they are and I’ve already been examined, they’re not for me.”

“I must say that when Dr. Bennett told me you could talk like a hearing person, I thought he was bluffing.”, she chuckles. “I have seen tons of deaf patients with various levels of communication capacity but what I see here is beyond amazing.”, she gives him an impressed smile.

Rachel squeezes his knee but he doesn’t turn to look at her.

“Thank you, doctor.”, Mike replies. _God_ , he never knows what to say when people compliments him on this. “I’m doing fine, my ears are okay, even though they’re pretty much useless, I don’t really see what you could do.”

“When was the last time they were examined? Who told you you couldn’t get the implants?”, the woman takes a tentative step towards the bed.

“15 or 16 years ago, I went to a specialist with my grandmother and-“

“That was a long time ago, Mike.”, she cuts him. “Can I call you Mike?”, she asks and Mike nods. “Huge progress have been made since and, though I can’t guarantee anything since I haven’t looked at your ears yet, I think you could use a little check-up, what do you think?”

“No, thanks.”, Mike shakes his head. “I don’t… I don’t think it’s necessary. I just want to go home.”, he turns to Dr. Bennett and shoots him a pleading look.

“Mike.”, Rachel rubs his leg. “ _I think you should give it a try._ ”, she signs, holding both her thumbs up.

“ _It’s a waste of everybody’s time._ ”, Mike signs back. “ _I know what the results are going to be._ ”

“ _She’s right, though, there have been a lot of technological evolutions in the past 10 years._ ”, Rachel signs and nods encouragingly.

Mike ducks his head and bites his bottom lip as a surge of unwanted and unwelcome hope begins to rise in his chest. It happened 15 years ago. He had known Rachel for two years, she was finishing her intense sign language program and he was beginning to accept his handicap. His Grammy spent a whole month convincing him to go see this “miracle doctor”, a month raising his hopes, and when he finally agreed to go and let the team examine him, he was faced with the ugly diagnoses: his cochlea had an abnormal shape and he couldn’t get the implants. Why would it be any different this time? And yet, he can’t help his heart from fluttering at the thought that he could hear again. He’s forgotten what it was like to hear every crack in the floor, every leaf in the trees, every bird, every car engine, everybody talking around him. He used to remember. If he closed his eyes and thought really hard, he could still imagine these sounds, these little things he didn’t pay attention to anymore when he could still hear. And he would pray every night that he would wake up and be able to hear the bees flying over his head again, the wind lifting up the dead leaves from the floor, his Grammy’s voice… It never happened and with time, he stopped waiting for a miracle to happen. He doesn’t want to go through that again.

“I’m not sure, doctor.”, he looks up and purses his lips. “I’ve been disappointed before, in fact I’ve been disappointed a lot lately.”, he laughs bitterly and Rachel strokes his leg. “I have learned to live with my disability, I don’t mind it anymore.”, he half-lies.

“It’s up to you, Mike.”, Dr. d’Alliet smiles. “I don’t need to do a hundred exams to know if it could work, it wouldn’t be a such a waste of my time.”, she says with a knowing look and Mike understands that she can sign and got what he just told Rachel.

He sighs and looks at Rachel who smiles expectantly.

“Okay…”, he whispers. “Okay but I can still go home today, right?”, he turns to Dr. Bennett.

“Of course.”, the man replies. “I only need to check a couple of things then a nurse will take you to the ENT department and you’ll be good to go after lunch.”

Mike sighs and bites the inside of his cheek. Alright, he’ll give this another (last) try.

 

 

Donna wakes up fresher than she would have expected considering the amount of wine she drunk last night. She sends a quick good morning to text to Rachel before getting up from the bed.

“Oh my god!”, she hears coming from somewhere inside the condo, followed by the least manly shriek she’s ever heard and she rushes out of the room. Either Harvey just spotted a spider or something important happened. “Harvey? Is everything alright?”, she asks when she finds him in his en suite bathroom.

“I just found a grey hair.”, Harvey replies in a shaky whisper, looking like he just saw a ghost.

Donna holds her breath for a second, processing the scare he just gave her and this new and (let’s be honest) _vital_ piece of information, and bursts out laughing.

“Hey, that’s not funny!”, Harvey turns to her with an offended frown.

“Oh yes, from where I stand it is!”, Donna laughs.

“I’m old…”, Harvey turns back to his reflection and pouts.

“Oh come on.”, she chuckles. “I don’t even see it. The wrinkles, on the other hand…”, she mocks. “Didn’t you buy a cream or something?”

“What? They’ve gotten worse?”, Harvey asks in a panicked voice as he leans closer to the bathroom mirror.

“I’m just messing with you.”, she smiles and pats his naked back. “Hey, have you been to the gym lately?”, she asks, pinching at his waist. “I mean, it’s-“

“Get out.”, Harvey jerks around. “ _Now_.”

Donna giggles and quickly leaves the bathroom. She wasn’t really joking when she asked about the gym, it looks like he’s put on a couple of pounds. She’s not going to tell him, he’d freak out and she’s sure he’s going to spend the day obsessing about his first grey hair and possibly his wrinkles now she’s mentioned them. He’s going to bother her, ask a million questions but she doesn’t mind, it’s ten thousand times better than seeing him sad and depressed like he was yesterday.

 

 

Mike is sitting on the examination table, hands folded on his lap. Rachel is sitting on a chair in the corner of the room, typing on her phone. None of them seems to be in the mood to talk and the tension in the room is palpable.

He just checked out with Dr. Bennett and took a shower during which he was able to assess the extent of the damage. Turns out he really is a miracle. He has a mean bruise on his hip and one on his cheekbone, but his sprained wrist is already pretty much healed and he doesn’t feel any pain anywhere else on his body. Trevor told him the car hit him in the hip and leg, throwing him on the concrete where he landed on his wrist. And that’s pretty much all. He could have died, like he could have 19 years ago. He didn’t and, luckily, he’s nowhere as bruised and broken as he was after the car crash that took his parents’ life, but, like that first car crash, his ears have become a main topic.

He gently rubs his right ear and closes his eyes. He needs to relax or he’s going to have a panic attack. He knows the signs now, the building anxiousness, the sudden shortness of breath, the drumming in his head… He needs to relax so he takes a deep breath and tries to picture something calm, something soothing. The first thing that comes to his mind is that moment he spent sitting on the sand with Harvey. He pictures the ocean ahead of them, the tiny waves crashing on Harvey’s feet, the wind blowing in their face, Harvey’s closed eyes when he-

He opens his eyes again when he feels a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Okay?”, Dr. d’Alliet asks with a warm smile.

Mike swallows hard and nods.

Rachel has gotten up and she’s now standing next to the examination table. She promised to translate everything for him if needed, to hold his hand if needed.

“What I’m going to do first, Mike…”, the doctor says and stops to grab a weird-looking otoscope. “… is I’m going to take a look at your eardrums and more generally at the inside of your ears. It’s not going to hurt.”, she smiles reassuringly.

Mike swallows again and grabs Rachel’s hand.

“Tilt your head to the side for me please.”

He complies, squeezing his eyes shut and clenching his jaw. He jumps in both surprise and fear when something enters his ear.

“Sorry…”, he manages to breathe out and he feels Rachel’s long and gentle fingers stroking the back of his neck.

It feels weird but it doesn’t hurt. He never used a q-tip in his ear, he cleans the outer ear with it but he never _ever_ pushes it in, he’s not used to the feeling. His ear feels full and he squeezes Rachel’s hand when the otoscope digs even deeper in his ear canal. He wants to open his eyes, he knows it would help him relax, but he can’t, it feels like it would suddenly hurt if he relaxed his eyes and jaw.

Seconds later, the medical device is gone from his ear and he tentatively opens his eyes again.

“Okay?”, the doctor smiles and he nods before turning to Rachel who tries to smile but the worry clearly shows on her face. “Can I take a look at your other ear?”, the doctor asks when Mike looks back at her.

“Yeah.”, he exhales shakily.

 _Relax. It doesn’t hurt, think about the beach, the waves, think about the sun warming your face._ And he does just that. He pictures that moment again as Dr. d’Alliet repeats the process in his left ear.

“Alright.”, she nods with a serious look when she’s done. “I don’t see anything wrong with your ear but I’d need to perform a CT scan to get a better look at your auditory nerves.”

“What do you mean you don’t see anything wrong?”, Mike asks cautiously. “Is that bad?”

“You ears seem perfect from what I can see, they’re _normal_.”, she replies and she looks surprised. “I was expecting to see some damage, at least on your eardrums but everything looks and feels, well, like I said, _normal_. What exactly do you know about your deafness?”, she asks, taking a seat on the chair near the bed.

“Not much.”, Mike shrugs. “I was in a car accident with my parents almost 20 years ago and when I woke up, I was deaf. The doctors said my head hit the concrete at some point since the windows were rolled down and they told my grandmother that it had done permanent damage to my hearing.”

“So you don’t know what it was?”, Dr. d’Alliet asks. “Whether it was the auditory nerve, the cochlea or even a bone rupture?”

“No, maybe they told my grandmother but I was 9 and I couldn’t hear, I don’t really remember…”, he sighs. “What I know is that, a couple of years later, I went to see an audiologist who talked to me about the CI. He examined me and declared that I wasn’t a good match for the solution as my cochlea was weirdly shaped or something like that.”

“I’ll try to get my hands on your records. When was it exactly and what hospital?”

“1997, it happened somewhere upstate but I got treated in New York City. I have no idea where exactly, though.”, Mike replies.

“Okay. Something’s not adding up here.”, the doctor gets back up and shakes her head. “Just to be sure, I would really like to do a head CT.”

“Now?”, Mike clears his throat uncomfortably.

“Well, I can book a appointment right now if you feel like you can do it.”, she replies expectantly before adding a knowing “You’d still be able to go home after lunch.”

“I’ll go in with you.”, Rachel says with a smile when he looks at her.

“Okay…”, Mike says after a moment, hoping this really is going to be the end of it because he wants to go home and forget about it all.

 

 

Donna and Harvey spend all morning working on their case. They don’t even stop for lunch and quickly eat a hotdog Amy got for them in the conference room. Jessica comes to visit in the afternoon when Samantha informs her that Harvey hasn’t been in his office at all today and they proudly make a detailed presentation of their strategy for her.

“Travis Tanner isn’t going to know what hit him.”, Jessica smirks. “I knew that bringing two killers together was a good idea. You two should team up more often.”

“I know it’s not good sport but that was all me.”, Harvey says, gathering up his files.

“Of course.”, Jessica huffs, rolling her eyes in unison with Donna. “Go home.”, she smiles and stands up before gracefully walking out of the room.

“Dinner tonight?”, Harvey offers.

“I have plans.”, Donna makes an apologetic face and checks her watch. It’s only 4pm. “With Rachel.”, she adds. She doesn’t want to tell him that Mike’s coming as well. “Are you going to be okay on your own?”

“Yes, Mommy.”, he rolls his eyes. “I had one bad night, I’ve had bad nights before and I will have bad nights again, don’t worry. Go, have fun with your girlfriend.”

“I’m here if you need me, okay?”, Donna grabs her files and handbag and looks at him with fond eyes.

“Yep.”, he replies, hoping he sounds detached, as he watches her walk away.

The truth is he has absolutely no plans for the weekend and he already dreads it. Mike hasn’t answered his text, hasn’t given him any news and if it wasn’t for Donna, he wouldn’t know that he’s fine and that he was released today. He shouldn’t care. He was fine before he met Mike, he was fine a month ago, he had busy and fun weekends and he can totally go back to that. Like, _easily_. Maybe he’ll call Paul and Liz. That’s one resolution he can keep.

He walks back to his office and gives a small smile to Samantha before settling at his desk. He’s not ready to go home.

“Mr. Specter?”, Samantha asks tentatively.

“Yes?”

“You know today’s my last day, right?”, she takes a step forward, her hands behind her back. “Ethan’s finally coming back.”, she chuckles. “I, uh, got you a little present to thank you for these two weeks.”

“Oh.”, Harvey clears his throat and straightens up in his chair as she walks to the desk and places a small jewel box in front of him. “You shouldn’t have.”

“It’s nothing, it’s… um, I thought of you when I saw it in the store window.”, she blushes. “And I’ve learned a lot by working for you, I want to go back to school and become a lawyer.”

“Wow. That’s great.”, Harvey nods, impressed. “I’m glad you found your calling but I don’t think it has anything to do with me.”, he smiles.

“It does.”, she insists. “I’ve temped for a lot of lawyers in the past years and I had heard about you but what I saw was even better that everything people say about you. You’re the most dedicated lawyer I’ve ever seen, by far the best. You’re passionate and you never give up. You inspired me to dream big.”

“Well.”, he clears his throat again. “Thank you.”

“Come on, open it.”, Samantha smiles expectantly.

Harvey grabs the box and unties the ribbon. He takes the cap off and smirks: on a dark blue velvet cushion lies a tiny crystal 4 leaf clover.

“Remember the conversation we had about luck?”, she smiles knowingly and Harvey nods, unable to suppress a smile.

It was more of an argument but, yeah, he remembers it well. He told Samantha he would never carry a lucky charm with him because he didn’t get lucky, he made his own luck. She called him a blasé and bitter man and he called her a delusional, hopelessly romantic young woman. And that was the end of it.

“You have a lot of crystal thingies around your office so I thought one tiny crystal lucky charm couldn’t hurt.”, she says with a warm smile.

“Thanks a lot, Samantha.”, he smiles one of the genuine smiles he keeps for his close friends.

“You’re welcome.”

“I thought I didn’t have anything for you but I just had an idea.”, he opens his laptop. “How about a letter of recommendation from Harvey Specter?”, he raises an eyebrow and smiles smugly.

 

 

Mike has been cursing under his breath for about an hour. It’s way past lunch and he’s still in that goddamn hospital. The CT was a horrible experience during which he discovered that he was a little claustrophobic and now he’s waiting in a detergent-smelling room for the results. It’s been an hour since he got off the machine and he’s hungry and tired and wants to fucking go home like Dr. d’Alliet promised he would _hours ago_.

“ _Stop pacing._ ”, Rachel grabs his arm and signs. “ _You’re making my head spin._ ”

“What the hell are they doing?”, Mike snaps. “I already know what they’re going to say!”

“She said she needed to consult with her team of experts. Maybe they found something.”, Rachel offers, not really convinced but what else could take them so long?

She’d love to be home too, it’s been a long day and she’s starting to get bored. They’re supposed to have dinner at Donna’s and she can’t wait to see her, she misses her.

The door finally swings open, startling her and she taps on Mike’s shoulder to make him turn around.

“Finally!”, he sighs and folds his arms across his chest.

Dr. d’Alliet and two other men walk in the room, each of them with a very serious look on their face.

“I’m sorry it took so long.”, she nods and looks down at the paperclip she’s holding. “I asked Dr. Friedman and Dr. Lester…”, she points at the two men who smile politely. “… to look at your scans and we’ve got news.”, she says and Mike swallows hard. “You were right, you’re not a good fit for the implant.”

Mike snorts and rolls his eyes. _And this is news how?_

“But.”, she holds up a finger to catch his attention. “Have you heard of ostosclerosis?”, she asks.

“No.”, Mike replies dismissively but he knows ancient Greek and Latin and quickly analyses the word, coming to the conclusion that it has something to do with the abnormal hardening of something in the ear. “Why?”

“Well, I can’t believe they didn’t see it when they examined you after the car crash 20 years ago, especially considering how long you stayed at the hospital.”, she replies and Mike understands that she managed to get her hands on his medical records. “It’s a genetic disease which causes progressive hearing loss. The CT showed that you have it.”, she pauses and lets him process the information.

“So you mean I didn’t become deaf because of the accident?”, he immediately asks.

“No, what I’m saying is that you would have experienced a progressive hearing loss even if you hadn’t been in that accident. The accident basically just accelerated the process.”

“Okay… so?”, Mike licks his lips. It still doesn’t sound like news to him.

“So here’s what me and my two fellow specialists think.”, she smiles victoriously. “One of your ears, the left one, is inoperable. The damage done to the auditory nerve is too extended and, as you were told years ago, you cochlea wouldn’t support the electrodes anyway. Even if we managed to place them, there would be no guarantee that the implant would give any satisfying result.”, she explains and turns a page on her clipboard. “But, your right ear is fine, except for the ostosclerosis, that is.”, she chuckles and Mike doesn’t really see what’s funny here. “Which, and here comes the good news, can be operated and cured to a certain extend. We are confident that we can overturn the effect of the disease with a stapedectomy.”

“You mean he could hear again?”, Rachel exclaims, covering her mouth.

“Yes.”, Dr. d’Alliet nods. “You will be able to hear again.”, she repeats for Mike.

His heart stops beating and he opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. _Are you positive? I could hear again?_

He exhales shakily and places a hand on his heaving chest, his eyes fixed on the doctor’s mouth.

“Wh-“, he licks his lips. “What’s a stapedectomy?”

Dr. d’Alliet smiles and turns another page before explaining the procedure to a stunned Mike.

 

 

It’s barely 5:30 when Harvey gets tired of trying to keep himself busy in his office. He sent Samantha home with her letter and told her to keep him posted. He placed the small crystal clover by the picture of his mum on his desk and sent a text to Ethan to remind him about his morning coffee. He knows Ethan remembers what he takes from the coffee cart but it’s his way of telling him he missed him and that he’s glad he’s coming back.

Harvey hates change. He likes consistency and habits, routine and familiarity. That’s how he controls things, by knowing what’s going to happen and when. He hates when unexpected things break his routine or change his plans. He dreaded Ethan’s absence but Samantha turned out fine. More than fine, actually. He didn’t tell her but he wrote it in the letter, that was the closest he could go to giving a compliment. He won’t tell her either but knowing that he was an inspiration for her wanting to go back to school and becoming a lawyer made his day. Maybe his week. He won’t tell her but her little gift made an impact on him too.

He did tell her that he made his own luck. That luck was a concept invented by lazy people who didn’t want to work for what they wanted. That successes and achievements required hard work, not luck. That he had worked really hard and dedicated his whole adult life to working his way to the top. But, as he stares at the sparkling clover, he can’t help but feel like a hypocrite. Yes, he’s worked hard to become the top lawyer he is today. But there’s one area he hasn’t given the same amount of dedication, or maybe any dedication at all. He hasn’t worked to save his marriage with Alex, hasn’t worked to build a relationship with anyone. Maybe he didn’t really want these things. There’s one thing he knows he wants. Desperately. He hasn’t worked to get Mike’s forgiveness. He told Samantha he made his own luck and yet he’s waiting here, doing nothing, waiting for Mike to reply to his cryptic text message and make the first move. If that’s not being lazy and betting on luck, he doesn’t what it is… _Hypocrite_.

“Okay, little _crystal thingie_.”, he nods at the clover. “Okay.”, he repeats and shuts down his computer before putting it in his brief case and grabbing his phone and keys.

He walks to the elevators, ignoring the polite nods and goodbyes he gets from the people he walks by, and takes a deep breath before climbing in the first cabin that opens. He’s going to (try to) make his own luck.

He runs across the lobby, through the revolving doors and down the steps leading to the sidewalk. He takes a moment to catch his breath and adjust his posture. Pretending to be confident plays a huge part in becoming confident. So he straightens up, adjusts his tie and nods to himself before flagging down a cab.

It’s smelly and the music is a little too loud but he doesn’t say anything. Music is better than having to make small talk. He needs a strategy and for that, he needs to think. Instead, he finds himself drawn into the beautiful voice and lyrics.

_“I never thought I'd be a killer cause there's so much to lose. But if I can't drink the water, what else can I do? And although the axe is heavy, it just sits in my hands while you're changing like the current. Every time I try to bring it down you always turn my head around.”_

He likes jazz music, he likes chords and trumpets, doesn’t mind instrumental songs. He doesn’t read much as a hobby, he reads too much for work already. Words don’t particularly touch him anyway, most of the times, when coming across a poem or a song, he thinks its author is trying too hard.

“ _Make up your mind. let me leave or let me love you. While you've been saving your neck, I've been breaking mine for you. The power is on, the guillotine hums, my back's to the wall. Go on, let it fall. Make up your mind before I make it up for you._ ”

The chorus hits a little close to home. He’s made up his mind, now he hopes Mike hasn’t made it up for him. He needs a strategy.

 

 

Mike and Rachel drive straight from the hospital to Donna’s since she texted Rachel to let her know she was home early and they could drop by anytime. They both can’t wait to tell her the good news because apart from her, Mike has decided he doesn’t want to tell it because he doesn’t want to raise his and everybody’s hopes too high.

Dr. d’Alliet assured him that it couldn’t fail, that it couldn’t any get worse anyway since he’s already deaf and that he _would_ hear _. She promised_. But Mike has been disappointed before. When the first Lord of the Rings movie was released and he couldn’t find a theatre that screened a subtitled version. When Trevor told him he didn’t want to go to prom after all, an hour before they were scheduled to leave for the gym where the festivities were taking place, and he had to go alone, exactly what he wanted to avoid. When his Grammy cancelled their trip to Florida when he was 12, it was supposed to be their first vacation together. They never went there. He’s been disappointed before, so he prefers to be prepared. And being disappointed with the results will be bad enough, he doesn’t need everybody around him to be as well or to feel sorry for him.

Dr. d’Alliet said he would hear again from his right ear but she also said that she couldn’t know how well. They’ll have to wait until he wakes up from the surgery and takes an audio test. She said it was a fairly common and easy procedure. They just need to take out the abnormally fixed stapes bone and replace it with a micro prosthesis which will stay mobile and help conduct the sound in Mike’s ear. And he will hear. _She promised_.

The surgery is supposed to take place on Sunday as Dr. d’Alliet is going back to France on Tuesday. It was a now or never situation when she offered and, guided by his own unfightable rising hope and Rachel’s unabashed enthusiasm, he agreed. He is expected at the hospital at 5pm tomorrow with an empty stomach.

 

When Mike tells her, Donna stops and gapes for a whole minute before she can speak again. Her eyes are wet and the hand she places on Mike’s hand is cold and shaking. She tells him it’s the most fantastic news she’s heard for years, she tells him she’s happy for him. Then she announces that they need to celebrate and asks Mike if he still wants that burger. Mike replies with a shit-eating grin and they decide to have a glass of champagne before going out to Ari’s (where else?) since it’s still pretty early.

Donna’s refilling their glasses when the doorbell rings.

“Oh god, let it not be my nosy neighbor.”, she sighs. “She comes over once a week to feed me on the building’s latest gossip.”, she rolls her eyes and walks to the door. “Oh.”, is all she manages to say when she opens it.

“Is that a bad time?”, Harvey asks. “I need your advice and I thought I’d drop by. Is Rachel already here?”

“No, I mean, yes, she’s here.”, she replies, wincing a little when Mike’s loud laugh echoes from the dining room.

“Mike’s here?”

“Yeah, he, uh, I… I decided to invited him too, since, uh, you know, he’s just coming out of the hospital and…”, she stutters and decides to stop talking.

“Okay.”, Harvey replies. “I’ll give you a call tomorrow.”

“No, wait.”, Donna holds up a hand. “What did you need my advice on?”

“It’s about the loud teenager currently laughing his ass off with your girlfriend.”, he sighs. “It’s a bad time, I’ll give you a call tomorrow.”

“No, no, no!”, Donna grabs his arm and pulls him in, a genius idea suddenly popping in her head. Mike might choose who he lets in his hospital room but he doesn’t get to decide here. “Come in. It’s a perfect time.”, she winks.

“He doesn’t want to see me.”, Harvey whispers as she closes the door. “That’s precisely what I came here to talk about.”

“See? That’s why it’s the perfect time and why I’m the perfect best friend.”, she smirks and motions for him to follow her with a tilt of the head.

Harvey braces himself and inhales deeply through his nose. He’s going to crash their little gathering and Rachel is going to hate him even more. He doesn’t even want to think about Mike.  

“Look who’s here!”, Donna exclaims innocently when they step in the large dining room.

When Mike turns to look at them, Harvey’s heart drops in his chest. He is pale as a ghost and the bruise on his cheek looks painful, he looks like a stray kid. The smile disappears from his face when he sees Harvey and Harvey thinks he shouldn’t have listened to Donna, he should have turned and gone away.

“Hey.”, Rachel, surprisingly, smiles at him.

“Hey.”, Harvey replies with a tentative wave. “What are you celebrating?”, he turns to Donna when he spots the bottle of champagne on the table.

“Mike being a lucky bastard.”, Donna quickly improvises. She promised not to tell a soul and she intends on sticking to her words.

“You were very lucky, indeed.”, Harvey nods at Mike with a smile. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah.”, Mike nods and he looks at his empty glass, hoping Harvey doesn’t notice the blush he feels creeping up his cheeks.

That’s exactly why he didn’t want to see Harvey. Harvey ignites something in him, he’s irresistibly drawn to him.

“Champagne?”, Donna asks enthusiastically. “Oh shoot! The bottle’s empty, I need to get another one. Rachel, come with me.”, she gives Rachel a not-so-discreet knowing look.

“Really, Donna?”, Harvey asks since he knows Mike can’t hear him.

“Yes, really.”, Donna grins and grabs Rachel’s arm.

 _Shit_. He came here to ask Donna what he should do, what he should say to Mike, how she thought he should play this. He came here to build his strategy. But, this is Mike we’re talking about and just like everything with Mike, it comes with an expected twist.

“I’m glad you’re okay.”, he says, taking Rachel’s place around the table.

He doesn’t know what else to say. _You scared the shit out of me_. _I want to kill the guy who did this. I could’ve lost you forever. Have I? Lost you?_

“Thanks.”, Mike whispers, rolling his glass between his fingers.

An uncomfortable silence settles in the room and Harvey hopes the girls aren’t planning on staying in the kitchen for too much longer because this has already been ridiculously long for a bottle of champagne.

Mike swallows thickly as he tries to will his heart to stop stomping like it’s going to explode any second. He remembers Harvey’s text and not answering it and now they’re in the same room he feels a little bad for it. And for not allowing him to see him yesterday. As Rachel told him, he seems genuinely concerned about him. He has to make a decision. Either he allows him in his life, gives him another chance and takes the risk of having his heart broken again or he explains to him that he meant it when he asked him to not contact him.

In the kitchen, Rachel and Donna are hidden behind the ajar door, watching the scene.

“They’re still not talking.”, Donna whispers and rolls her eyes.

“What should we do?”, Rachel asks.

“Give me a minute.”, Donna turns around and closes her eyes.

Rachel shakes her head with a grin, watching her girlfriend come up with yet another evil plan. Thank god she decided to give their relationship another chance. She simply can’t imagine her life without this smart and generous and stupidly gorgeous woman.

“Got it.”, Donna’s eyes snap open and she smiles victoriously. She turns to the small space in the doorframe to check on Mike and Harvey and turns back around. “They’re obviously both too stupid to make the first step.”, she whispers. “No more beating around the bush.”, she raises a playful eyebrow. “Come on.”, she orders and walks back in the living room. “Okay.”, she says and waits for Mike to look up. “Turns out I’m out of champagne. But Mike obviously needs to eat and he wants a burger. Rachel and I aren’t big fans and you two need to goddamn talk.”, she says in a very serious tone. “So you’re going to Ari’s together. And that’s final.”

“But-“, Harvey starts to protest.

“No, don’t thank me.”, Donna cuts him. “Go and have fun.”, she smiles mischievously.

Mike looks at Rachel and she ducks her head, unable to hold his reproachful gaze. He might hate her right now, but he’ll thank her later. She trusts Donna. Right now she isn’t sure of anything. She’s liked Harvey, hated Harvey, learned to like him again, hated him again… But Mike loves him, even though he never used the L word, she knows it. Scott told her and if she’s honest with herself, she’s always known it. She just didn’t want to admit it. She isn’t sure of anything and she’s not a risk taker. So she’ll trust the woman she loves and give those boys a chance to talk it out, whatever the outcome.

“You want to go to Ari’s?”, Harvey asks after touching Mike’s arm to get his attention.

Mike licks his lips nervously and considers his reply. At least, unlike Donna, he gives him a choice.

“Hospital food sucks.”, he simply replies with a shrug.

Harvey can’t suppress a fond smile.

“Let’s go, then.”, he says, getting up.

“ _Come on_.”, Rachel signs with an encouraging smile when Mike looks at her.

He sighs petulantly and narrows his eyes at Donna before following Harvey across the room and to the front door.

“Have fun!”, Donna shouts but Harvey ignores it.

He opens the door and motions for Mike to lead the way.

“We don’t have to go to Ari’s, though.”, Harvey shuts the door.

“Ari’s fine.”, Mike mutters before stepping inside the elevator. “It’s only a couple of blocks away.”, he adds as if it were the only reason why he wanted to go. He knows Harvey knows it’s his favorite burger restaurant.

They ride the elevator down in complete silence and it’s only when they’re finally reaching the family restaurant that Mike speaks. He jerks around and stares at Harvey for a moment before opening his mouth.

“Why did you come to wait for me in front of my building after sending me packing on Monday?”, he asks angrily and Harvey realizes he must have spent the whole way here preparing this.

“I wanted to talk to you.”, Harvey replies.

“Well, I kind of figured that out.”, Mike huffs. “Talk about what?”

Harvey sighs and purses his lips. It might be his only chance to explain what he did so he better choose his words carefully.

“Do you really want to have that conversation here, on the sidewalk?”, he asks.

“Yes.”, Mike nods seriously before putting his hands in his pocket.

_Okay. Let’s do this._

“I wanted to apologize for being a dick.”, Harvey says and clears his throat. He might be the best closer in the city, he might be feared in a courtroom, but he’s helpless when unprepared. “I had an interesting talk with Liz and she made me realize that, um, that what I did was stupid, that I was trying to protect myself and-“

“From what?”, Mike cuts him sharply. He’s really not gonna make this easy for Harvey.

“From… losing you.”, Harvey exhales sharply, realizing that it sounds completely irrational when told like that. “I let you go because I was afraid you’d go. I know it was lame to tell you that on Facebook, but what I said was true, it wasn’t some shitty excuse to let you down easy. I meant it. I’m probably going to hurt you again.”, he swallows hard and looks around. He wishes they weren’t in the middle of the street.

“Go on.”, Mike says. “You wanted to talk, so talk.”, he crosses his arms and raises an expectant eyebrow.

“You know me by now.”, Harvey continues, a little unsettled by Mike’s attitude. “Better than some of my friends. I can be a mean bastard.”, he pauses when Mike nods in agreement. “I’m scared. Of hurting you, of losing you, of lov-“, he stops dead and keeps his mouth open for a moment before closing it.

Mike’s expression softens a bit but he doesn’t move, he doesn’t speak. They stare at each other for what feels like an eternity for the both of them.

“I’m sorry.”, Harvey eventually breaks the silence and he suddenly becomes aware of his surroundings again. Of the people and cars passing by, of the city noise. “I came to tell you this, that night. And to ask you for another chance.”, he sighs.

“What were you going to say?”, Mike asks, looking less and less confident. “Just now, what were you going to say?”

Harvey purses his lips and looks away. It slipped out his mouth, he didn’t mean to say that, he doesn’t even know if he means it. He can’t repeat it.

“Look.”, he says, and it seems like he’s gaining some of the confidence Mike’s losing. “I screwed up and I totally deserve what Rachel told me, I totally deserve what you told me. It might be a lot to ask for, but I want- _would like_ you to forgive me. Very much.”

“What would that mean?”, Mike asks. “I asked you once and I’m going to ask you again: what do you want from me, Harvey?”

Harvey remembers it well. He didn’t have an answer then, he doesn’t have one now.

“I’ll take whatever you want to give to me.”, he replies, bracing himself.

Mike didn’t expect that kind of answer. The ball’s in his court now and instead of coaxing Harvey into pouring his heart out, he got trapped. Harvey managed to reverse the situation. By letting him decide what he’s ready to give to him, Harvey is making _him_ confess to his feeling. Though technically, Harvey did first before he realized what he was going to say and stopped. Mike guesses that’s what makes him the city’s best lawyer. _Nice one, Harvey._ But two can play that game.

“Does your offer to fuck me and make me scream until I can’t talk anymore still stands?”, he asks with a playful smile. For once, he hopes he was loud.

A couple of people stop and stare, confirming that yes he was loud. And the look of horror on Harvey’s face is the cherry on top.

“Are you crazy?”, Harvey glares at him and grabs his arm. “Don’t say things like that on the street!”

Mike chuckles and lets Harvey drag him to a quieter place under a nearby porch.

“That’s what I’m ready to give you tonight.”, Mike says, rubbing his arm. “Take it or leave it.”

Harvey studies him for a moment, probably trying to lead Mike into believing that he’s really considering refusing but Mike knows he’s won already.

“How about a drink first?”, Harvey asks.

“I can’t. I’m having a surgery on Sun-“, Mike starts to reply and stops.

“A surgery?”

“Yeah, uh, on my…”, Mike feels his cheeks beginning to burn. “… on my wrist.”, he nods jerkily. “Yeah, it’s sprained.”

“Oh.”, Harvey cocks his head to one side. “Then you can have a Coke or an orange juice.”, he quickly regains his composure and offers.

“That’s not part of the deal.”, Mike shakes his head.

Harvey heaves a frustrated sigh and rolls his eyes.

“Okay, hot shot.”, he says. “I’ll take it, then.”

He can’t help a smirk when Mike gulps.

“My place or yours?” he asks.

“Yours.”, Mike mumbles.

 

They don’t talk again until they’re in Harvey’s entryway. They don’t talk in the cab or after Harvey’s paid for their fare. They don’t talk when Harvey gets his mail from the doorman or in Harvey’s private elevator. They don’t even exchange a look.

They still don’t talk when Harvey takes his sweet time putting his briefcase away and getting rid of his shoes.

Harvey can feel Mike’s uneasiness, it’s so palpable, so painful he’s seconds away from telling him he changed his mind and offering him a glass of water. He already knows he’s not going to fuck him. It’s not how he wants their first time together and Mike’s first time to go like. But he doesn’t tell him.

“You know where the bedroom is.”, he throws in casually and Mike nods before heading towards the bedroom.

He follows him at a safe distance, studying Mike’s posture, looking for signs that he doesn’t want that either.

Harvey doesn’t want to fuck him, but he wants to kiss him. Desperately. So when he finally enters the bedroom, he grabs Mike’s hips, turns him around and gently grabs his face, careful not to press on his bruised cheek.

“Is that really what you want?”, he asks with a gentle smile.

Mike thinks for a moment before shaking his head and looking down.

“I almost slept with Scott.”, he says, not daring to look up.

He doesn’t know why he just said that, but he feels like he owes Harvey the truth. The hands on his face freeze and when he looks up there’s fire in Harvey’s eyes.

“Why didn’t you?”, Harvey asks through greeted teeth.

“I would have.”, Mike clears his throat nervously. “We were… about to…”, he begins to say but stops when he sees Harvey’s nostrils flare. “I called him Harvey.”, he gulps.

Harvey inhales deeply and closes his eyes for a moment.

“Of course you did.”, he says when he opens them again. “You’re _mine_.”

Mike gulps again and closes the space between them. He couldn’t hold Harvey’s gaze any longer, it was too much, he needed to create a diversion. For him and for Harvey. _And what a diversion_. Harvey’s lips, his scent, the warmth of his hands on Mike’s face, the feel of Harvey’s nose on his skin… it’s like coming home. It’s so familiar, so welcome after a whole 28 hours spent in the hospital, it feels so good he wants to cry. And when Harvey’s tongue licks Mike's lips, it feels like all the tension he has accumulated since the accident, all the anxiousness he’s been fighting down since waking up in that white room is slowly escaping his body.

He wraps his arms around Harvey’s waist and pulls him closer, allowing the kiss to deepen. His bruised hip hurts but he doesn’t care, he clings onto Harvey’s waist like a lifeline, it feels as if he would break or fall down if he let go. He never wants to let go.

Harvey breaks the kiss, leaving them both panting heavily, and pressed their forehead together.

“I’m sorry…”, Mike whispers. He’s talking about what he did with Scott, about not allowing Harvey to see him at the hospital, about ignoring his sad text message.

“You have nothing to be sorry about.”, Harvey pulls away and smiles before placing a soft kiss on Mike’s lips. “ _I_ am sorry.”

“I forgive you.”, Mike nods and exhales shakily.

Harvey’s heart flutters, it feels so light suddenly that he feels like it could just fly away from his chest. _Mike forgave him_. He closes his eyes and ducks his head. Relief, happiness, fulfillment, admiration… it’s a bit too much to handle.

Mike reaches one hand to Harvey’s chin and lifts it up.

“How about we get some sleep and talk some more tomorrow?”, he asks and Harvey realizes how tired he must be.

“I think you could use some sleep.”, Harvey replies, running a gentle thumb over the dark circle under Mike’s left eye.

They both reluctantly let go and proceed to undress quietly.

Harvey’s the first to climb onto the bed and he watches as Mike meticulously folds his clothes in a pile he puts on the floor by the bathroom door.

There’s a huge purple bruise on his hip and Harvey’s heart swells with sadness and relief when he remembers that he could have lost him forever. He pretends to look at his phone when Mike walks to the bed and quickly slides under the covers.

“Are you emailing Ethan?”

“No.”, Harvey chuckles. “But I’m glad he’s coming back.”, he puts his phone away on the nightstand. “Goodnight.”, he says and Mike yawns loudly before crawling on top of his chest.

Harvey reaches out an arm to the night lamp and turns off the lights. _Thank you, Donna_ , he thinks and wraps an arm around Mike. _Please, please don’t let me screw this up again_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no medical knowledge whatsoever, everything I wrote in this chapter I found it online. I hope it's not complete crap and that it makes some sense.  
> I'm [SoSauffie](http://sosauffie.tumblr.com) on tumblr!


	22. Indescribable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoohoo I managed to finish this chapter just in time before my departure for the West Coast!!!  
> It is clearly a turning point in the story and, sadly, confirms that it's all coming to an end soon. One more (long) chapter, I think.  
> Thank you so so so so much for your crucial support, this story wouldn't exist without you! <3  
> 170k+ words... I mean, seriously?? haha  
> The next (and last) chapter should be up sometime within the next two weeks, I have no idea how much I'm going to be able to write once on holidays but I will!  
> Thanks a lot again, I hope you like this new chapter and how things are unravelling. Let me know, I love hearing from you!!

When Mike opens his eyes, it takes him a moment to remember where he is. The ceiling he’s staring at is a beautiful shade of blue and the pillow he’s resting on is way fluffier that the one he has at home. When he turns his head to the side, his heart skips a beat and he can’t help a grin from spreading across his face. He’s at Harvey’s.

He rolls over on his side and sighs. _Never a dull moment with you_ , he thinks, his eyes wandering across the sleeping body lying at his side. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions from the start. From the moment he felt Harvey’s magnetic presence in Donna’s living room to Harvey’s tight and, dare he think, loving hold after he said goodnight hours ago, Mike doesn’t have another word for it. _Rollercoaster_. Up and down and up and down and up again. So it’s up again… and Mike’s head is still spinning. Nobody’s ever managed to unsettle him like Harvey does all the time, to make him angry like Harvey can, to make him cry like Harvey has. But he’s never loved anyone like he loves Harvey. He likes and loves a lot of people. He loves Rachel more than anything, he loves her parents, loves his friends, he loves people easily, he already loves Harvey’s friends. But what he feels for Harvey is different. So different, so new, so scary he doesn’t have a word for it. His heart belongs to Harvey, like Harvey stole it the moment he stepped in the living room that night, a full on smirk on his face, looking picture perfect in his light grey three-piece suit and modern day Rat Pack hair. Mike realizes it just now, that this very moment was the green light, the first impulse, the moment his wagon engaged on the rollercoaster. The moment his heart changed forever. How could he even think he’d managed to get over Harvey at all?

He squeezes one eye shut to focus and begins to air-trace the curves of Harvey’s profile: his relaxed forehead, his cute and perfect little nose, his parted lips, his proud chin… Except for his big expressive brown eyes, everything about Harvey’s face is small and beautiful. The two moles over his left brow, his cupid’s brow, his perfectly curled-up little mouth… It’s not even fair, Mike thinks with a sigh. He often gets compliments on his fair blue eyes. But he hates his huge forehead and messy hair, his big nose and weirdly shaped mouth. Nothing about his features is subtle or small or remotely cute, even his ears are sticking out-

 _His ears_. He jerks up on the bed as reality kicks back in and everything suddenly clicks back into place.

Dr. d’Alliet promised he’d hear again. He’s going back to the hospital tomorrow (today?) and getting surgery on Sunday. He had a conversation with Harvey on the street and forgave him. He told Harvey about Scott. He kissed Harvey. He didn’t have dinner and his stomach is grumbling in protest.

He looks to the side when he sees Harvey shifting on the bed in the corner of his eye and swallows thickly. What would he hear just now if he could? Maybe he’d hear Harvey’s breathing, or maybe his snores, Stephen said he snored. Maybe he’d hear the city noise coming up through the sliding doors Harvey must have opened while Mike was asleep.

He carefully leaves the bed and walks to his clothes he put near the bathroom to get his phone. It’s not even 1 in the morning. With a sigh, he drags his feet to the bathroom and settles on the toilet seat so he can check his tumblr feed while peeing. It’s been a while since he posted on there so he randomly picks a couple of pictures of his afternoon with Scott after their win in court and posts them.

Now reality’s kicked back in, he’s starting to feel a little scared about being put under general anesthesia. What if he dies in that operating room? He broke both of his legs, his left arm, a couple of ribs and dislocated his shoulder in the accident that killed his parents. He had thousands of cuts caused by the broken glass all over his body and face. But he was never put under general anesthesia. He knows the odds of dying are slim and Dr. d’Alliet said the operation was a short procedure, 4 hours tops. Still, Mike suddenly feels restless, like he needs to put the time he has until the surgery to good use. And god, there’s one thing he needs to do right now, one thing he needs to do in case he doesn’t make it. And if does wake up from the surgery and hears again (and his heart flutters at the thought), he’s going to be a changed man. Everything is going to change. This will be a new life for him, he’ll be a new Mike. He used to dream of this and Dr. d’Alliet promised to make his dream come true.

Unable to contain a happy giggle, he covers his mouth and gets up before flushing the toilets. He looks at his reflection in the large mirror bathroom and frowns at the bruise on his hips. It’s a deep shade of purple and runs from his hipbone to his pubic hair. He presses his index finger to it and winces. It hurts but Mike can’t believe he escaped unharmed. His wrist is still a bit sore and the bruise on his face is turning green but that’s it. No blood, no broken bones. Mike 2 – Cars 0.

He comes out of the bathroom, takes a deep breath and walks back to the bed. He puts his phone away on the nightstand and sits on the edge of the mattress, not really sure about how to proceed. Harvey’s lying on his back in his boxers, a hand resting on his heaving chest. He looks peaceful and comfortable and it pains Mike to have to do this but some things cannot wait when your life is about to change. He flicks on the small lamp above the nightstand and crawls to Harvey, who hasn’t moved an inch.

“God, you’re beautiful.”, he says, finding himself unable to contain his awe.

He kneels up and stares at Harvey for a while before nodding to himself. He knows how he’s going to do this and his cock seems to agree with him. He’s already half hard just looking at Harvey, at his long fingers resting on his tanned chest, at the warm skin at the base of his neck, at those lips he needs to kiss.

He takes his cock in his hand and begins to stroke it. Slowly, lazily, as his eyes continue to roam over Harvey’s body. The outline of Harvey’s soft cock pushing through the fabric of his tight boxers, his long, muscular legs… _Fuck_.

He’s fully hard now so he presses at the base of his cock and moves to sit on top of Harvey, a knee on each side of his hips, before bending forward and placing a soft kiss on Harvey’s lips.

“Harvey.”, he says, rubbing his ass on Harvey’s clothed cock. “Wake up.”, he buries his face in Harvey’s neck and starts nibbling at his collarbone and the sensitive skin right under his earlobe.

Harvey stirs under him and Mike can’t help a satisfied grin when he feels Harvey’s cock waking up against his ass.

“Mmmike?”, Harvey mumbles, his eyes still closed.

Is it a dream or is Mike really grinding his ass against him and moaning like a porn star? When he opens his eyes, he’s faced with a patch of blond hair and a pale shoulder. The light is on but from what he can hear over Mike’s incessant moans and pants, the city’s not awake yet, it must be pretty early. It wouldn’t be the first time Mike wakes him up in the middle of the night…

He closes his eyes again, takes his time to let his whole body register what’s going on, to fully wake up. He can feel Mike’s hard cock trapped between their bodies and when he reaches a hand to his ass to let Mike know he’s awake and would like to participate, Mike lets out the most beautiful whimper.

“Hey.”, Harvey smiles when Mike looks up. “Aren’t you supposed to be recuperating?”, he asks and wraps his arms around Mike’s waist before sitting them up. “God, you’re heavy.”

Mike smiles and crushes their mouths together while sliding a hand in Harvey’s boxers and grabbing Harvey’s cock. “I want you to make me scream.”, he pants into the kiss.

“Fuck, Mike.”, Harvey hisses when Mike starts pumping Harvey’s cock, bringing it to full hardness. “Hold on.”, he wraps his fingers around Mike’s wrist and pulls his hand out of his boxers. “Hold on.”, he repeats when Mike looks up, a protest forming on his lips. “You just had an accident and you’re getting surgery on your wrist tomorrow…”, he lets go of Mike’s wrist and cocks his head to one side. “Which one is it by the way?”

“This one.”, Mike replies, waving the hand that was on Harvey’s cock moments ago.

“Doesn’t it hurt?”, Harvey asks and Mike has to do something because he’s starting to look like he’s suspecting something.

“Yes, it does, but I want you, I don’t care.”, he replies, sliding it back in the pair of tight boxers. “Please…”, he moans, pressing his own leaking erection against it.

“I want you too.”, Harvey exhales shakily. “But you need to rest.”

“No, I don’t.”, Mike whines. “I might die on that operating table…”, he pants. “And you promised to fuck me when we would be alone, remember?”

Oh yeah, he remembers. He’s not sure he promised, though, but that’s a fucking detail and he doesn’t want to argue technicalities with Mike right now. His brain is too busy cataloguing Mike’s beautiful throaty moans and the teasing rolling of his hips.

He’s about to give in to the temptation when Mike’s words from last night come back to his mind. “ _I almost slept with Scott. We were about to…_ ”

He pulls away and, once again, takes Mike’s hand out his boxers.

“What did Scott do to you?”, he asks.

“What?”, Mike’s half-closed eyes jerks open and Harvey knows he read his lips exactly right because Mike’s cheeks suddenly turn red.

“How far did you go?”

“I don’t want to talk about Scott.”, Mike tries a diversion and leans in for a kiss, but Harvey is having none of that.

He places a hand on Mike’s chest to keep him away.

“Please, Harvey…”

“I want to know.”, Harvey says and purses his lips angrily. “How far did you two go?”

It’s not the right time and it will probably kill the mood, but the need to know what Scott did to _his_ Mike is too strong, it’s taking over his desire to fuck him.

“Not that far.”, Mike replies. “Now, can we-“

“How far?”, Harvey cuts him sharply, causing Mike to duck his head and gulp audibly.

“We…”, he sighs. “We were both naked and, uh… we kissed and he…”, he swallows and stares at his own rapidly softening cock. He should never have told Harvey.

“He what, Mike?”, Harvey asks, when he’s lifted up Mike’s chin with a gentle hand.

“I’m not really sure I can explain it to you.”, Mike replies, his cheeks now visibly burning.

“Show me, then.”, Harvey says with a raised eyebrow. “Take my hand and show me where he touched you.”, he adds, his anger slowly turning back into desire, and he leans in to kiss Mike’s neck.

Mike takes a deep shaky breath and guides Harvey’s hand to his ass.

“He touched me there…”, he whispers and lets out a high-pitched “Yeah” when Harvey’s fingers slide along his ass crack. His cock is hardening again despite the awkwardness of the situation.

Harvey buries his middle finger between Mike’s ass cheeks and looks up when the tip brushes against the warm ring of muscle, a questioning look on his face.

“Did he touch you there?”

When Mike nods, Harvey closes his eyes and takes a deep calming breath. Mike said “almost” and he hopes it didn’t go farther than that because he’s not sure he could handle it. And yeah, he knows it’s ridiculous considering he would have slept with Scottie if she hadn’t flipped out because he didn’t want to kiss her.

“That’s it…”, Mike rasps. “We didn’t… he didn’t… I…”

 _Okay_. _Breathe_. Harvey opens his eyes again and pushes his finger against Mike’s hole.

“Good.”, he nods and pushes again, not enough to breach the tightly shut muscle but enough to draw a breathy “Harvey” from Mike’s lips.

Maybe they didn’t go farther than that, but Scott still touched him and Mike let Scott touch him and that very thought makes him sick to his stomach and he feels the primal urge to stake his claim.

In one swift motion, he flips them around and pushes Mike’s onto the bed. He hadn’t planned on fucking him, not right after his hospital release, he wanted to give it some thought, plan a nice evening and everything, make it special for Mike. But okay, Mike asked for this and Harvey needs to make him truly his _right the fuck now_. To hell with the romantic cheesy stuff.

“Spread your legs wider.”, he orders, pulling his boxers down.

Mike gulps and he complies, his eyes wandering from Harvey’s face to his hands uncovering a beautiful, hard cock. He’s sure Harvey doesn’t mean for it to look sexy or anything but like everything Harvey does, it _is_ fucking sexy. It’s precise, quick and efficient and even the way he throws his boxers on the floor is graceful.

Harvey licks his lips and smirks before bending forward and kissing him, aligning their bodies, allowing their cocks to rub together. Mike suppresses a hiss when Harvey’s hip presses again his own bruised hipbone and he throws his arms around Harvey’s neck, deepening the kiss. It doesn’t matter if it’s what happened with Scott that’s motivating Harvey as long he finally fucks him. Oh, he’s scared, but he’s also curious and ready and fucking aroused.

He bucks his hips and this time, he cannot help but hiss into the kiss.

“Mike…”, Harvey moans and kneels back up. “Are you sure you’re-“

“Yes, yes, Harvey.”, Mike pants. “I’m sure, I’ve never been more sure of anything. Please… I’m fine.”

“Alright.”, Harvey nods and moves his hands to Mike chest, caressing the pale and soft skin, reveling in the incessant moans pouring out of Mike’s mouth. Mike’s deafness presents lots of challenges, but it also has its perks and he’s sure Mike wouldn’t be so noisy if he could hear himself. He’d probably be embarrassed.

Harvey lets his hands roam over Mike’s body, his sides, his bruised hip, his thighs, his bended knees, his thin and taut calves.

“You’re perfect.”, he smiles fondly and Mike’s untouched cock twitches in response. “Fucking perfect.”, he adds just because he can and he chuckles when Mike whimpers.

Enough teasing, he thinks, taking Mike’s leaking cock in one hand and giving it a couple of long strokes before bending forward and taking it in his mouth.

“Harvey!”, Mike arches his back and Harvey quickly pines him back to the bed with a hand on his good hip.

“Stay still.”, he orders, catching his breath after almost choking.

Mike nods and lets out a long and loud moan when Harvey takes him back in his mouth. He tries hard to stay still and it becomes even harder when he feels a finger circling his hole, teasing the rim at a maddening rhythm, very slow, too slow. He wants to push against it, to roll his hips and finally feel it inside him, but he stays still.

Harvey runs his tongue from the tip of Mike’s cock down to the base and moves to kiss the inside of his left thigh as his finger continues to tease Mike’s hole. Everything they just did was rather familiar territory. Now starts the tricky part. He considers pausing and getting the tube of lube he keeps in the nightstand but he doesn’t want to break the contact, he doesn’t want Mike to know what’s to come. So he gets back up on his knees, reaches out an arm to grab a pillow, his other hand never leaving the warmth of Mike’s ass.

“Hips. Up.”, he looks up and Mike complies, pushing on his feet to lift his hips and he moans when the sudden movement causes Harvey’s teasing finger to push harder against his hole.

Harvey smirks and manages to place the pillow under Mike with one hand. When Mike lowers back down, Harvey brings his finger to his lips and generously coats it with saliva.

“Harvey…”, Mike almost whispers, his voice hoarse and low, his eyes fixed on the now glistening index finger.

“Yeah.”, Harvey breathes and takes a deep breath before pushing his wet finger against Mike’s hole and very slowly breaching the tight ring. “Okay?”, he asks when he’s finally in and pauses. Both to let Mike adjust to the sensation and to calm down because Mike’s already clenching hard around his finger and he can’t imagine what- _No_ , he can’t think about it right now.

“Yes, Harvey, please…”, Mike nods jerkily and Harvey thinks he’ll never get tired of Mike begging.

He bends forward again and trails wet kisses from Mike’s belly button to the bruise on his hip, down to the warm skin in the crease between his thigh and his groin, down to his balls, while slowly burying his finger deeper.

Mike didn’t expect what happens next and he bucks his hips and throws his head back into the pillow with a loud groan when Harvey pulls his finger out and presses his wet lips to his hole. _Oh fuck_. It’s always been one of his favorite things to watch and getting rimmed definitely tops his fantasy list. He thought he’d be embarrassed by the intimacy of the gesture or by the fact that he hasn’t showered, but he’s not. _At all_.

“Fuck, Harvey!”, he yells when Harvey pushes his finger back in and his legs lift up on their own accord, exposing his hole, giving Harvey more room to tease him open.

The feel of Harvey’s lips and tongue against the very sensitive skin of his ass isn’t describable. Mike has read a thousand books and he knows each of them by heart, yet he’s never read anything that could describe what he’s feeling right now. He knew he’d love that but it’s even more amazing than he could have imagined.

“Oh god, oh fuck…”, he whimpers as Harvey’s probing tongue laps around the rim while another finger breaches past it.

It burns a little but Harvey’s soothing tongue creates an effective diversion and Mike’s eyes snap open when the tongue and lips move from his ass crack to his cock.

“God yes.”

Harvey smiles mischievously when Mike lifts his head up and their eyes meet. His usually light and bright eyes are dark with lust and unfocused and that view alone is worth the days he spent pining over Mike.

He crooks his fingers and takes Mike’s cock in his mouth, eliciting a surprised high-pitched moan from Mike. He feels Mike clench around his fingers and then relax, slowly, beautifully opening up for him. His own untouched cock is begging to come into play and groans around Mike’s throbbing cock when he feels a drop of precome sliding along the length of his own.

He kneels back up and crooks and scissors his fingers one more time before pulling them out.

“Ha’vey.”, Mike whispers with pleading eyes.

“Ready?”, Harvey asks breathlessly and gives his own cock a couple of long-awaited strokes.

“Yes, yes, yes.”, Mike nods jerkily, letting his legs fall back down on the bed and Harvey chuckles before crawling to the bedside table to get a condom.

The last person he had sex with was Ella, a month ago but he hasn’t gotten tested for a long time and, though he’d love nothing more than to fuck Mike bareback, he doesn’t want to take any risk.

“You’re gorgeous…”, he moans as he opens the small foil package. “You have no idea… I want you so much.”

Mike doesn’t reply, he just grabs his cock and moans.

When he’s done rolling down the condom, Harvey squeezes the base of his cock and motions for Mike to spread his legs a little more. He lowers himself down on Mike and pulls him into a heated kiss before sliding a hand between their bodies and wrapping his fingers around their cocks.

“Harvey… please…”, Mike pleads against his lips and even though Harvey could hear that and only that for the rest of his life, he can’t wait to be inside of Mike, so he kneels back up and rubs a finger against Mike’s hole.

“You’re perfect.”, he says when Mike’s hole flutters and opens up for him. “Fuck…”, he hisses, replacing the finger with the tip of his cock.

He needs to cool down or he’s not going to last a minute.

Once he’s got the right angle, he pushes a little against the hole, causing Mike to shiver.

“Relax.”, he looks up and keeps his eyes fixed on Mike’s face as his cock oh so very slowly pushes past the tight ring of muscle.

He can’t hurry this, first because he wants to take his time and enjoy every second of it and, more importantly, because he doesn’t want to hurt Mike. There’s anticipation and surprise in Mike’s eyes, but also trust.

“Okay?”, Harvey asks through greeted teeth as his cock slowly disappears into the deliciously tight heat.

Mike nods and swallows thickly, unable to speak at that point. It’s not so much the relative hurt as the novelty of the sensation that takes his breath away. He feels connected to Harvey in a way not even the longest, deepest kiss could ever feel. He feels full and empty at the same time, overwhelmed and unburdened. These mixed sensations make it impossible for him to speak or move so he lets himself go, he lets Harvey bury himself inside of him.

When Harvey’s fully sheathed, he exhales shakily and smiles down at Mike.

“You feel so good… Even better than I expected.”, he says, his voice full of an undisguised awe Mike can unfortunately not hear, and he reaches out a hand to Mike’s cock.

He’s about to touch it when Mike starts emptying himself, releasing long spurts of come that land on his belly and chest, no sound making their way past his tight throat and parted lips.

“Fuck, Mike.”, Harvey moans when Mike clenches around him and he runs his fingers along Mike’s chest, collecting some of the warm liquid, before bringing them to his lips.

He waits for Mike to come to before carefully and slowly pulling out of him and pushing back in. Mike’s legs jerk a little and he arches his back with a moan.

Harvey takes it an indication that he can start moving and he bends forwards for a kiss.

It’s been a long time since he’s felt that kind of connection with someone. Just like the first time he found himself naked and pressed flush against Mike, he feels like they’re one entity, one whole. And being able to deepen this connection even more by being inside of Mike makes the whole thing even more overwhelming that it was that one time and he bites down the sudden urge to speak and tell Mike he loves him. Right now, as he thrusts in and out of him, as their tongue battle in the heat of their kiss, as Mike’s incessant moans resonate in his mouth, he’s sure he does, but he also knows it’s not the right time to say it.

He pulls apart for air and rests his forehead against Mike’s sweaty neck. Between their moving bodies, he watches the in and out movements of his cock and he can’t suppress a smirk when he sees Mike’s cock twitching and hardening again.

He kneels back up and takes it in his hand.

“You’re going to come for me again.”, he orders, stroking it back to full hardness. “Okay?”

“Ha’vey…”, Mike whimpers, arching his back and rolling his hips.

“Fuck, you feel so good.”, Harvey pounds into him a little harder, a little deeper and Mike’s fully hard again. “You’re fucking perfect, you know that?”

Mike’s moans become louder and he squeezes his eyes shut as Harvey starts thrusting his hips earnestly. He expected it hurt, to burn, to feel weird, definitely not to feel that good that quickly. Once again, and despite the onslaught on both his ass and cock, Mike finds himself wondering how he thought he could live without sex. Without Harvey’s hands on his skin, without Harvey’s praises, _without Harvey_.

He comes again, loudly this time, and Harvey takes him through his orgasm, matching his thrusts with the movements of his hand on Mike’s cock, spreading the come along the hard length until Mike’s hips finally fall back down on the pillow.

“God, I’m gonna come.”, Harvey stops dead and squeezes his eyes shut as Mike's hole closes around him.

Mike feels Harvey’s cock twitch in his ass and when Harvey opens his eyes again and says his name, what he sees in those big brown eyes knocks the air out of him. There’s lust, there’s pleasure in there but there’s something else also. _Awe_. Pure, unabashed awe. And Mike finds it hard to hold his gaze, so he moves to sit up, careful not to break their connection, and Harvey helps him up by wrapping his arms around him before crushing their mouth together.

He’s so glad he woke Harvey up, so glad he got to share this unforgettable moment with Harvey. If he were to die on that operating table, he wouldn’t mind now, he would pass away happy and fulfilled.

“Everything okay?”, Harvey asks when he breaks the kiss.

“Yeah.”, Mike nods with a grin. “You?”

“Yeah.”, Harvey nods with a smile. “Is your wrist okay?”

Mike nods and buries his face in the crook of Harvey’s neck, inhaling a mixture of sweat and come and cologne he knows his brain will register and remember forever. Yes, his wrist is okay, everything’s okay. More than okay. The car accident seems a million miles away and his body is so loose and full of endorphins that he can’t feel the bruise on his hips anymore.

“Lie down.”, Harvey says when Mike looks up with a stupid satisfied grin on his face.

Mike slowly disconnects from Harvey, hissing when the soft cock pulls out of him and lowers himself on the bed. He watches Harvey remove the condom and expertly tie a little knot before throwing it to the ground.

“We both need to rest.”, he says with a knowing look that clearly means “no more waking me up for sex”.

He crawls back to his side of the bed and quickly wipes the come off Mike’s abdomen with the sheets.

“Goodnight.”, he smiles and leans in for a kiss.

“Goodnight.”, Mike yawns and he waits for Harvey to lie down before snuggling against him with a content sigh.

 

 

Mike opens his eyes and stretches like a cat, enjoying the warmth of the setting sun on his chest and face. He feels good and content and giddy and he grins at the ceiling as images from last night spring back to his mind. It was perfect. Mike doesn’t have another for it. A month ago, the idea of having sex with anyone (other than his hand) was out of the question, he was sure it was never going to happen. He didn’t think anyone would want to share this experience with him and if anyone ever did, he thought he’d be too scared to do anything anyway. But that was before he met hurricane Specter. Before Harvey opened the Pandora box and made him feel desired, wanted. And a little sore, he thinks with a smirk.

He’s not just happy because of the fantastic sex they had. He’s happy because of what he saw in his eyes when Harvey came, what he read on Harvey’s lips on the street even if he didn’t finish his sentence, because of the indescribable connection he felt when they, well, physically “connected” last night. No, he definitely cannot think of another word than “perfect” and coincidently, that’s exactly what Harvey told him he was. Repeatedly. And for once in his life, Mike thinks that maybe he was, maybe just for a moment, and just for Harvey.

He turns his head to the side and sighs contently when his eyes spot the reason of his happiness. Once again, he finds himself staring at Harvey, mentally cataloguing every little detail of the man’s face and wait a minute, is that a grey hair? Oh, and another one?

The moment doesn’t last, though, as a sudden wave of anxiety and fear washes over him, leaving him breathless. He’s going back to the hospital today. And he doesn’t want Harvey to come, doesn’t want Harvey to know what’s going on, he doesn’t want to see Harvey until he’s sure everything went well. How is he going to tell him that? How can he explain that to Harvey after having just reunited with him?

He carefully sits up and grabs his phone. Giving Harvey one last glance, he leaves the bed and walks out of the room.

 

 

“Hey, Princess.”, Donna looks up from her crossword puzzle and smiles when Rachel comes in the kitchen, looking barely awake but breathtaking nonetheless, dressed in one of Donna’s silk kimonos.

“Hey.”, Rachel replies with a sleepy smile.

“Take a seat.”, Donna pats the chair next to her and grabs the coffee pot.

Rachel walks up to the table and sits down.

“How long have you been up?”, she asks, leaning for a kiss.

“An hour or so.”, Donna replies and she hands him a steaming cup of coffee. “Have you heard from Mike? Harvey hasn’t tried to contact me.”

“Thanks. No I haven’t.”, Rachel sighs. “I guess it went… okay since neither of us heard from them but I’m still a little worried.”, she smiles sheepishly.

“Maybe they fought and killed each other.”, Donna teases and she runs a gentle hand through Rachel’s hair.

“Mike is expected at the hospital at 5 today.”, Rachel says and takes a sip of her coffee. “He must be freaking out right now, especially if he still hasn’t told Harvey.”

“I’m sure he has.”, Donna smiles. “God, I can’t believe he’s going to be able to hear…”, she shakes her head with a smile.

“I know!”, Rachel giggles. “I can’t either. I mean… Actually, I can’t even _imagine_ it.”

“It’s going to be a huge change for him.”, Donna nods and gets up when the toaster pops up.

“Yeah, medicine is amazing…”, Rachel sighs. “Speaking of which.”, she clears her throat and licks her lips. “I… I realized that there have been tremendous progresses in medicine these past 15 years and when… I mean, maybe they could do something, um, for you?”

“Rachel…”, Donna puts the toasts down on the table and sighs. “I thought we-“

“No, I haven’t changed my mind.”, Rachel cuts her and places a hand on Donna’s thigh. “You’re right, we discussed this and it’s not a problem. I just thought that maybe you could, you know, get checked?”, she smiles shyly.

“It wouldn’t change anything.”, Donna shakes her head dismissively. “I’m almost 40 and I haven’t changed my mind either.”

Rachel swallows hard and looks down at her cup.

“Forget I said anything.”, she whispers. “Sorry.”

Donna closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She knew the topic would come up again, she just didn’t think it would so soon. Rachel said she was fine with not having kids, at least for now, but it’s obviously not the case.

“Look.”, she clears her throat. “I’ve told you before, I love you but I don’t want to waste your time. You’re young and I understand that you want kids, I know you’ve always wanted to become a mother and I don’t want you to pretend you-“

“Hey I’m not pretending anything.”, Rachel gets up from her seat. “I told you I was fine with what we have and I am. I was just merely suggesting something because you told me how devastated you were when you found out you...”, she pauses and purses her lips. “Forget it.”, she shakes her head and walks around the table. “I’m going to go, I need to-“

“Rachel, no.”, Donna grabs her arm. “Don’t leave. Please. I’m sorry if I upset you, I didn’t mean to but…”, she brings her other hand to the small of Rachel’s back. “Princess, look at me.”, she pleads and licks her lips nervously when Rachel turns to her. “Try to put yourself in my position. I… I lost you once and the circumstances haven’t changed, I have no reason to believe it won’t happen again.”, she swallows. “I’m scared.”

“We’ve talked about it.”, Rachel folds her arms across her chest. “I told you it was fine with me, what else do you want? Don’t you trust me?”

 _No, I don’t. No I can’t believe you’d give up your biggest dream for me. And I don’t want you to. I’ve tried to ignore the Damocles sword hanging over my head, over our relationship, but it’s there, it’s so unmistakably there in moments like these. And there are going to be other moments like these. It’s just never going to feel okay, I’m never going to feel safe._ That’s what she thinks but she can’t tell Rachel, it’s too hard, too heartbreaking. It’s basically back to square one.

“You don’t trust me…”, Rachel’s voice cracks in the silent kitchen, piercing a hole through Donna’s chest.

“I…”, Donna begins to say but quickly stops. She’s been a lawyer for long enough to know that it’s best to think before you speak when having an argument, that nothing good comes from just speaking your mind. Especially when it’s blurred by sadness or anger. “I do trust you. I trusted you the first time we talked about it, I trusted you the other day when you said you were happy with your decision and I trust you right now.”, she says in the best confident tone she can muster. “What I don’t trust, what scares me to…”, she swallows around the lump forming in her throat. “… what scares me to death, what prompted my reaction, is the future. I don’t trust that you’ll still be okay with the situation tomorrow, or next week, or next month…”, she stops when her throat becomes too tight.

“Then you’re not listening to me.”, Rachel says after a moment. “Yes, I want to be a mom. But I don’t want to be a single mom, I want to have a kid and raise it with a woman I love. I want this kid to be the result of a loving relationship, of a commitment. It starts with that. Being a mom isn’t my biggest dream, it’s only a part of it. My biggest dream was to meet you.”, she says with tears in her eyes. “I trust you. I know that I’ll be happy with you, that we’ll be happy, whatever life brings us, whether we have a kid together or not. I’m sorry you don’t feel that way.”, she wipes her eyes and leaves the kitchen.

 _You’re an idiot, Donna._ She really hasn’t been listening. She was too blinded by the fear of losing Rachel. Of not being what Rachel deserved. She was too focused on their age difference, on her own insecurities, to understand what Rachel was telling her.

She exhales deeply and walks to the bedroom. Rachel is getting dressed, sniffing as she zips up her skirt.

“Rach’…”, she says, cautiously approaching her. “I’m sorry for doubting you.”

“No, don’t be.”, Rachel shakes her head. “It’s my fault. I thought I had made it clear that you mattered more to me than the possibility of being a mom but I guess I…”, she wipes her nose. “I’m sorry we’re not on the same page.”, she looks up and shakes her head.

“No, we are.” Donna quickly corrects. “You’re right, I didn’t listen to you. I was too busy freaking out because I…”, she pauses and once again thinks before she speaks again. “When I signed on that website, I didn’t have any hope at all. I didn’t think I’d meet anyone, let alone someone like you. I love you so much it scares me.”, she purses her lips and suddenly understands why Harvey did what he did to Mike. He was scared and letting go when he did seemed like the only solution at the time. The only way to protect himself from getting hurt. “I’m sorry…”

They stare at each other for the longest time until Rachel finally breaks the silence.

“I love you too.”, she says with trembling lips and ducks her head as her shoulders slump.

Donna pulls her into a hug and eventually lets go of the tears she’d been trying to hold for the past 15 minutes.

“I’m sorry, princess.”, she sobs, running a hand up and down Rachel’s back. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that.”, Rachel pulls away a long minute later. “Do you trust me now?”, she asks expectantly.

“I do.”, Donna nods convincingly. “But I’ll probably experience moments of self-pity again in the future.”, she chuckles and wipes her eyes. “Guess I’m not as strong as I think I am.”

“I’ll be there when it happens.” Rachel smiles back and closes the space between them. “I’ll always be there. Now, can I have a toast?”, she giggles.

“Well…”, Donna manages a smirk. “Since we’re in the bedroom, I was thinking breakfast could wait a little, what do you think?”, she asks, giving Rachel’s butt a playful squeeze.

 

 

Harvey wakes up, fully rested and happy that he doesn’t have to show up at the office. His first instinct is to blindly reach out for Mike, whom he was expecting to be curled up against him. He grunts and opens his eyes when all he manages to get his hand on are cold bed sheets.

Mike is nowhere to be found and his clothes have disappeared from the spot Harvey remembers him leaving them. If it wasn’t for the rumpled pillow and the tied condom thrown across the room (and which doesn’t fail to bring a smile to his lips), Harvey would have seriously thought he’d dreamed last night’s events.

Yawning loudly, he drags himself out of bed, puts his boxers back on picks up the condom from the floor. Refusing to give in to the gnawing feeling building up in his stomach, he enters the bathroom, throws the condom in the waste bin and takes a long leak. Mike must be in the leaving room. Maybe he woke up and got bored and decided to go watch TV and Harvey can’t hear it because it’s on mute. Maybe he went out for a walk or, even better, to buy breakfast. _Yes, that’s it_.

The apartment is quiet, too quiet, when he comes out of his bedroom. And empty, he realizes once he’s looked around. So Mike is gone and he didn’t leave a note or didn’t text Harvey and there’s no way to tell if he’s coming back at all or not.

Harvey all but runs back to the bedroom and grabs his phone.

 _“Hey. Everything okay? Where are you?”_ , he sends.

Yes, it makes him look clingy, he’s aware of it. Something must have happened during the night. There’s just no other explanation. Last night was amazing for both of them, he’s sure of it. Something must have happened afterwards.

He jumps when his phone buzzes loudly in the quiet bedroom, pulling him out of his thought.

“ _On the balcony._ ”

He heaves out a long, loud and relieved sigh before grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and quickly putting them on.

Indeed, as he approaches the balcony, he spots Mike, sitting cross-legged on the wooden floor by the handrail. It’s rather chilly outside, despite the clear sky and bright sun, and Harvey’s glad he put some clothes on.

Mike looks in deep thought so Harvey carefully walks up to him.

“Hey.”, he says, crouching down next to Mike, careful not to startle him.

“Hey.”, Mike turns his head with a (very) small smile.

“What are you doing here?”, Harvey asks.

“Thinking.”, Mike replies. “Did I wake you up?”

“No, not this time.”, Harvey chuckles and moves to sit down next to him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah…”, Mike nods unconvincingly.

“Are you thinking about the surgery?”

Mike swallows thickly. He is. But that’s not what stresses him out the most right now.

“About that…”, he sighs and looks away. “I’m expected at the hospital at 5 and…”, Harvey watches him gulp and somehow, he knows he’s not going to like what’s coming. “I want to do this alone. I’ll be away for a week.”

“A week?”, Harvey chokes and moves a hand to Mike’s thigh to get his attention. “A week?”, he repeats when Mike looks at him. “For a sprained wrist? Mike, what’s going on?”

“Nothing.”, Mike gulps again and god he’s a terrible liar. Harvey know all the signs, he reads people for a living. “I just… It’s not big deal, I just want to be alone.”

“And by _alone_ , I suppose you mean _with Rachel_?”, Harvey huffs.

Mike doesn’t reply but Harvey takes it as a confirmation. A whole week? What the hell is going on?

As far as he’s concerned, Mike’s wrist looks fine. He didn’t complain once about it during their “activities” and you don’t spend a week at the hospital for that anyway. He could press Mike, insist and try to make him confess, he knows he’d manage to make him talk. But things are still very much new between them, they’re both still walking on eggshells, and he has a feeling that if he presses the issue, he’s going to drive Mike away and maybe lose him for good this time.

“Coffee?”, he asks, standing back up and Mike nods with a gulp.

First things first, once inside, he texts Donna. She must know something, and if she refuses to tell him, he’ll ask Rachel directly. He’s got the right to know.

“ _What’s going on with Mike? Is he doing fine? He told me he was getting surgery on his wrist but I know that’s not it. What is it?_ ”

He puts the phone down and starts the coffee machine as he spots Mike stepping back inside in the corner of his eye. Whatever’s going on with him, he doesn’t want Harvey to be part of it and that hurts. He’s not a relationship expert but he’s pretty sure you’re supposed to share this kind of things with your… boyfriend, partner, significant other, whatever. You’re supposed to tell them and let them help you, not to casually announce that you’ll be away for a week.

Biting down the urge to ask questions, to protest, to demand an explanation, Harvey walks over to the fridge to get the milk and the eggs. They didn’t have dinner yesterday and he’s starving.

Mike is a bit unsettled. He expected more reticence, more questions, he kind of expected a fight. Which would have made everything easier as it would have given him a reason to leave. He doesn’t want to leave, he doesn’t want to upset Harvey but he can’t tell him. He won’t be able to deal with Harvey’s disappointment if the surgery doesn’t work. He’s aware his behavior is risky, especially considering that they basically just patched things up, he’s aware he’s being vague and asking for a lot and being distant. But right now, he can’t see any other way.

“Thanks.”, he says when Harvey hands him a cup of coffee.

Harvey just nods and he doesn’t look mad. He looks sad and disappointed, which he has every right to be.

“Harvey…”, Mike says softly and Harvey turns around from the stove. “I’m sorry for keeping you out of it but I don’t… I’ll text you.”, he says and mentally facepalms at the stupidity of what he just said.

“Right.”, Harvey rolls his eyes and turns back around. “You’ll _text_ me.”, he shakes his head in disbelief.

He cuts the omelets in two and slides it onto two dessert plates. He grabs two forks from a drawer and brings them and the plates to the kitchen counter.

“I can go eat on the balcony if you want to eat _alone_.”, he says with a pointed look.

“That’s not what I…”, Mike begins to say and stops. He deserves Harvey’s scorn.

“Or I could call Rachel for you, I’m sure she’d drop everything and come running to have breakfast with you.”, Harvey continues. “What do you think?”

He doesn’t wait for Mike’s reply and grabs his phone when the text message ringtone echoes loudly in the room.

“ _Mike’s fine, don’t worry. I’m sorry but I can’t elaborate…_ ”

He huffs and angrily slams his phone on the counter, causing Mike to jump.

“Great.”, he laughs dryly. “Everybody knows what’s going on but me.”, he nods and swallows his coffee in one gulp.

Mike bites the inside of his cheek and gulps, he’s not that hungry anymore all of a sudden. He should have left when he woke up, he thinks, looking down at his plate. This isn’t what they were supposed to do. They were supposed to stay in bed until lunch, and make love again, and cuddle, and make out lazily.

“Can I at least know which hospital you’re going to or is that also covered by the official Secret Act?”, Harvey asks when Mike looks up from his plate.

“St. Francis.”, Mike replies.

“Will you need a ride there?”

“Rachel’s taking me.”, Mike replies with an apologetic look.

“Of course, silly me!”, Harvey snorts. “Eat your breakfast.”, he points at Mike’s untouched plate. “I’m going to take a shower.”

Mike reluctantly grabs his fork and sighs once Harvey’s disappeared in the bedroom. He takes a mouthful of cold omelet and takes his phone out of his pocket. There are three text messages. 2 from Rachel and one from Trevor.

“ _Do you need me to pick you up from Harvey’s? I hope you had a nice time yesterday. Let me know how you are. <3_”

“ _Harvey texted Donna to know what was going on with you so I guess you didn’t tell him… You should. Text me back please._ ”

“ _Hey Mikey! Jenny and me are going to the theatre this afternoon, wanna join? Hope you’re feeling okay._ ”

He puts his phone down and finishes his plate before piling it up with Harvey’s and bringing them to the sink where he quickly washed them.

He needs to go, he wants to be home and freak out in peace before going back to the hospital. He needs to be away from Harvey’s reproachful eyes because he can’t think clear when he’s with him and he has a feeling it’s not going to end well. But he cannot go while Harvey’s in the shower, so he clears the rest of the kitchen and washes the pan and coffee mugs.

He’s about to type a reply to Trevor when Harvey steps out of the bedroom, dressed in his ripped jeans and a black v-neck t-shirt. He seems genuinely surprised to see that Mike’s still here and they look at each other for a long moment, neither of them daring to break the silence.

Harvey finally walks up to where Mike is standing by the kitchen counter and he sighs before placing his hands on Mike’s hips.

“I’m sorry for my, uh, reaction.”, he says with an apologetic ( _and fucking sexy_ ) smile. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I wish you would trust me with whatever is going on but it’s okay if you don’t.”

“No I’m sorry…”, Mike sighs as Rachel’s words reappear in his mind. _You should tell him_. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, I just can’t tell you right now.”, he purses his lips.

“You’re not getting surgery on your wrist, are you?”

“No.”, Mike shakes his head and swallows thickly.

“Okay.”, Harvey nods and brings one of his hands to Mike’s face. “I’ll wait for your text, then.”, he says, running a thumb across the bruise on Mike’s cheekbone.

Mike’s breath hitches when Harvey’s thumb travels from his cheek to his mouth. He parts his lips and darts his tongue out, pressing the tip against Harvey’s finger before taking it in his mouth, his eyes never leaving Harvey’s.

“I’m going to miss you…”, Harvey says and he crashes their mouths together.

Mike instantly relaxes and pulls Harvey flush against him. He’s going to miss him too but if it all goes well- _no_ , he doesn’t want to think about it now, he doesn’t want to start planning things. He has to be patient and he’s so thankful for Harvey’s understanding. A week, that’s what Dr. d’Alliet said. She said he’d be back home in a week.

Harvey suddenly breaks the kiss and presses a soft peck to Mike’s lips before fumbling in his jeans pocket for his phone.

“Hey Rachel.”, he says a little breathlessly.

“Uh, is that a bad time?”, Rachel asks.

“No, not at all.”, Harvey lies and he winks at Mike. “What can I do for you?”

“I’ve been trying to reach Mike but he doesn’t answer my texts, so I was wondering if he was with you.”

“Yes, he is.”, Harvey nods. “Do you have a message for him?”

“Well… uh, just tell him to text me.”, she replies. “Please.”

“I will.”, Harvey nods and an awkward silence settles in.

“Thanks.”, Rachel finally clears her throat and says.

“No problem.”, Harvey replies, a broad, mischievous smile forming on his lips as another weird silence settles in.

“Alright.”, Rachel sighs. “Can you ask him when he’s coming home?”

“Sure.”, Harvey smirks. “When are you coming home?”, he asks Mike.

“Um, is she home?”, Mike replies.

“Yes.”, Rachel replies before Harvey has time to repeat the question.

“She is.”, Harvey nods. “She says she’s longing for you.”, he adds with a grin.

“No that’s not what I said!”, Rachel protests.

“Tell her I’ll be home for lunch.”, Mike laughs.

“Okay.”, Rachel says. “Thanks, Harvey. Bye.”

“Bye.”, Harvey chuckles and hangs up.

“She didn’t say she was longing for me, did she?”, Mike cocks his head to one side with a smile.

“No.”, Harvey replies and leans in for a quick kiss. “But I’m certainly going to while you go through your secret sex transition.”, he jokes and kisses him again.

Mike laughs into the kiss and buries his face in Harvey’s neck. “Me too…”, he sighs.

They stay like that for a long moment, pressed against each other, their hearts beating in unison.

“Do you need a ride home?”, Harvey asks when they finally break apart.

“Yes, please.”

 

 

Rachel and Mike arrive at the hospital at 5pm. He is scheduled for a couple of blood tests before the surgery and won’t get to eat anything after a light supper he’ll get in about an hour, a nurse informs them as they walk a long corridor.

“Don’t complain, you’re getting a very nice room.”, she smiles when Mike whines. “In fact, you’re getting our nicest room. President Obama was there once when he got sick, and Lady Gaga.”, she nods proudly.

“My insurance can barely cover the surgery, I’m pretty sure it can’t cover the room.”, Mike says in a worried voice as they walks through a set of automatic doors leading to a cleaner, brighter and generally nicer part of the hospital.

“Don’t worry about your insurance.”, the nurse smiles as she grabs a door handle. “It’s been taken care of.”, she swings the door open and both Mike and Rachel gape at the room.

It doesn’t look like a hospital room at all. It’s got a double bed with cream and dusty pink sheets, huge cream curtains, a couch as well a full desk with a computer.

“What do you mean it’s been taken care of?”, Mike asks when he’s regained his composure.

“Someone paid for it.”, the nurse replies before walking to the bay window and opening it, revealing a balcony with a table and chairs.

“Who?”, Mike asks, cautiously stepping in the room.

“A very charming man… He didn’t say his name.”, she turns around and replies. “But he left a message for you. He asked me to tell you that, quote unquote, Kirk is the man. Whatever that means.”, she chuckles.

Rachel raises a quizzing eyebrow and Mike grins.

“Harvey…”, he says, running his fingertips across the soft bed sheets.

“Alright, Mr. Ross.”, the nurse takes one last look around the room. “Get settled, Dr. d’Alliet will see you in a bit.”

“Thank you.”, Mike nods with a smile.

“ _Asshole paid for this?_ ”, Rachel signs with a dumbfounded look. “ _How did he know? I thought you didn’t tell him?_ ”

“ _And I thought we agreed that his new name was ‘handsome’._ ”, Mike signs back with a pointed look.

“Jury’s still out on that one.”, Rachel chuckles.

“He asked where I was staying, that’s the only thing he knows.”, he sighs and steps out on the balcony.

He had no idea hospital rooms could be that nice… He tries to not think about how much Harvey paid for it and takes a big gulp of fresh air.

“Ready?”, Rachel asks when he turns around.

“No.”, he shakes his head with a worried smile and she pulls him into a tight hug.

 

 

Dr. d’Alliet and the two other professors walk him through the procedure again: a nurse will come pick him up at 7 tomorrow morning and he will be put to sleep for surgery. He will normally wake up around noon or 1pm and he’ll probably feel a little disoriented, “ _nothing to worry about_ ”. Dr. d’Alliet says it will hurt a little but he’ll be given sedatives if it’s too much. When Mike asks if he will know right away if the procedure worked, she tells him that yes, he should but that the bandage he’ll have over his ear will be thick and block most of the sounds. But, she tells him, he’ll be able to hear himself talk and breathe and that will be the sign that the procedure worked. “ _It will_.”

A little while later, a nurse comes to take a whooping 11 samples of his blood. Then he eats a light dinner while chatting with Rachel and she is asked to leave at 8. They hug for a long while and she blows him a kiss before leaving with a sad and worried smile.

He takes a quick shower and reluctantly puts on the hospital gown he was asked to wear.

After brushing his teeth, he settles in bed with his computer. There’s a new friend request on his Facebook page and he can’t help a wicked grin when he opens it. He unblocked Harvey this morning while killing time on his balcony and he was hoping Harvey would ask him to be friends again.

As soon as he’s accepted the request, a chat window pops up.

 **Reggie Nald:** Everything okay? Still waiting for your text.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Sorry, I got caught up with the paperwork and blood test and then dinner… Yes, everything’s okay. Thanks for the room. You shouldn’t have.

 **Reggie Nald:** I’ve been thinking about what surgery you could be having and I have a theory.

 **Mike J. Ross:** LOL

 **Reggie Nald:** Are you getting plastic surgery? Butt implants? A new nose?

 **Mike J. Ross:** That’s what you think I should change? :(

 **Reggie Nald:** No, that was just me trying to be funny. You’re perfect. I’m just trying to laugh about the whole thing because the truth is I’m a little scared.

 **Mike J. Ross:** I should get a new nose, though. I hate it. Don’t be scared.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Oh and while we’re at it, I’ve noticed that you have grey hair!

**_Reggie Nald is typing…_ **

Mike giggles, imagining the look on Harvey’s face.

 **Reggie Nald:** I know.

Mike is a little disappointed, he expected a snarky reply.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Touchy subject?

 **Reggie Nald:** Wait til you’re old like me…

 **Reggie Nald:** Tell me you’re not changing anything on your appearance.

 **Mike J. Ross:** I’m not.

 **Reggie Nald:** It’s killing me. Let’s change the subject.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Sorry… :(

 **Reggie Nald:** Have you started working for Alex?

 **Mike J. Ross:** Yes. Thanks for reminding me that I need to email Eleonor to tell her I won’t be able to work next week.

 **Mike j. Ross:** I’ve shot 4 apartments so far. Each of them more beautiful, more extravagant than the other. I totally fell in love with one of them. The cheap one. 28 million haha

 **Reggie Nald:** Yeah, his agency specializes in luxury condos, that’s how I met him. He sold me my first apartment 5 years ago.

 **Mike J. Ross:** He mentioned you. Not by name. He’s still pretty pissed at you…

 **Reggie Nald:** Yeah I know… I didn’t handle it well. I screwed up. I seem to do that a lot lately.

 **Reggie Nald:** Paul and Liz are coming over for dinner tomorrow night. Paul says hi and good luck.

 **Mike J. Ross:** That’s nice of him.

 **Reggie Nald:** Is your life in danger?

Mike’s throat tightens a bit when he reads Harvey’s question and he feels bad for letting him in the dark. He can’t tell him, he just can’t. He didn’t tell Trevor, for entirely different reasons, he didn’t tell anybody but Rachel and Donna and he thinks that’s enough pressure.

 **Mike J. Ross:** No. Don’t worry. I’m sorry…

 **Reggie Nald:** You should go to bed, Rachel told me your surgery’s at 7.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Yeah… Goodnight.

 **Reggie Nald:** Goodnight.

**_Reggie Nald is typing..._ **

Mike swallows around the lump in his throat and tries to think about a funny thing to type before leaving.

 **Reggie Nald:** I’m here if you need me. Day and night.

 **Mike J. Ross:** Thank you. For everything.

 **Mike J. Ross:** And Spock is the man.

 **Reggie Nald:** You really need to go to bed, you’re not making any sense.

 **Mike J. Ross:** :p Bye, Harvey.

 **Reggie Nald:** Bye Mike.

 

 

Harvey barely manages to sleep that night. After going to bed at midnight and struggling to find sleep for two hours (during which he fights against the urge to check if the pillow next to his smells like Mike because goddamn it, life’s not a freaking romcom), he moves to the living room and tries to watch a movie but he can’t concentrate. He fixes himself a cup of that organic herbal thing Donna bought for him last year when he had a brief period of insomnia, but it tastes horribly and doesn’t do the trick.

Eventually, after another long hour spent lying on the couch, flicking through the channels absentmindedly, he closes his eyes and falls asleep… only to be startled awake 2 hours later by his alarm ringing at 6:30, the time he programmed it so he could text Mike before his surgery.

“ _Good morning. Hope you slept well. Break a leg! xoxo_ ” 

 

 

Rachel gets a call from Dr. d’Alliet at 10:45 and she closes her eyes and exhales deeply when she hangs up. When she opens her eyes again, she grins and gives Donna a thumb up. It went perfectly, they just brought Mike to the recovery room where he should wake up in an hour. Donna texts Harvey to deliver the good news like she promised, and she cooks a quick brunch. They leave Donna’s apartment and get in Rachel’s car right afterwards.

The ride to the hospital is silent and the tension palpable, growing hotter as they approach the modern medical facility.

This time, they walk directly to the “VIP” wing. “Run” would actually be a better word and Donna curses under her breath as she struggles to keep up with Rachel’s rapid pace, wondering why on earth she thought it was a good idea to wear her favorite Jimmy Choos to a hospital visit.

They’re asked to wait in a modern and comfortable lounge while Mike is being transferred back to his room. Donna pours two cups of coffee and brings one over to Rachel, who is pacing the large room.

“He’s fine.”, Donna says, handing her the steaming cup with a fond smile.

“I know.”, Rachel swallows hard and grabs the cup with two hands. “I’m just…”, her shoulders slump and Donna leans in for a kiss.

“A world renowned surgeon fixed his ear and he’s being taken back to his luxury hospital room as we speak.”, she strokes her cheek. “He’s fine. Relax, princess.”

“Miss Zane?”, a young male nurse asks and clears his throat uncomfortably.

“Yes?”, Rachel replies, putting her cup down.

“Would you like to come with me?”, the young man smiles. “Mr. Ross is awake but he’s still a little weak, the doctor only allows one visitor at a time.”, he says to Donna with an apologetic look.

“Sure.”, Donna nods. “I understand. Go.”, she gives Rachel a quick kiss and watches her run (again) out of the waiting room.

 

Mike opens his heavy eyelids and slowly runs his eyes across the room, taking his time to assess the situation. He made it through the surgery. He’s alive and back in his stupidly beautiful hospital room. His head hurts a bit, not just his ear, his whole head feels heavy and numb.

He tries to swallow but his throat is dry and tight so he clears it and his heart stops beating.

_“You’re going to be able to hear yourself talk and even breathe. That’s how you’ll know it worked.”_

And he just did hear himself clear his throat. He does it again, just for good measure and covers his mouth when he hears again. _He can hear_. He can _fucking_ hear and he just kind of heard his voice.

He moves a trembling hand to his healing ear and gently pats the thick bandage as a wave of relief mixed with happiness and dumbfoundedness washes over him. His heart starts racing in chest and he hears it, the air going in and out of his mouth rapidly, he _hears_ it. 

He turns his head to the side when he spots a movement on his right and winces when the bandage comes into contact with the pillow.

“Hey.”, Rachel smiles expectantly as she enters the room and walks to the bed.

He doesn’t hear her but he can hear sounds, muffled sounds in the background.

“Hey Rach’.”, he replies and tears start pooling in his eyes when he hears his (raspy) voice for the first time.

“How are you feeling?”, Rachel asks and she delicately sits down on the edge of the bed. “Are you in pain?”, she makes a face and takes one of his hands in her hands.

 _No… yes… a bit…_ Mike wants to reply that he’s okay, that he’s not crying because he’s in pain but because he can hear. And he just heard her. Now she’s closer he can hear her. Not well enough to understand without reading her lips, but well enough to know that her voice is as soft as her smile.

“Do you need me to call a nurse?”, she asks, grabbing the remote but Mike shakes his head.

“No…”, he sobs. “I’m fine. I…”, his breath hitches and Rachel squeezes the hand she’s still holding. “I can hear myself.”, he manages to say through the now flooding tears.

“You can?”, Rachel squeals and she covers her mouth with her hand before leaning forward and pulling him into an awkward hug given their respective positions on the bed. “Oh my god…”, she breathes against his heaving chest and she closes her eyes. _He can hear._


	23. Hopefully

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I felt the need to write a little "summary" as it's been a month since I posted chapter 22.  
> Previously on Unspoken (gotta read it out loud with Gabriel's voice):  
> • Thanks to Donna, Mike and Harvey finally get to talk. They make up and end up in Harvey's bed for the night. Mike wakes him up in the middle of the night and sexy time ensues.  
> • The next morning, Mike announces to Harvey that he's getting surgery and that he wants to do it alone, that he'll see Harvey in a week. At first, Harvey's angry but he eventually apologizes for his reaction and lets Mike go with the promise to keep Harvey posted.  
> • Donna and Rachel have a talk/fight about babies again but it turns out fine.  
> • Mike gets operated on on Sunday morning and Rachel's with him when he wakes up and discovers that it worked, that he can hear.  
> >> This chapter takes place directly after Mike wakes up from surgery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!  
> I'm back from my loooong family vacation! Weather was crap most of the time but I still managed to relax and enjoy the company of my nieces and nephews. We wrapped up this trip with my 3d sister's wedding, which was the bomb.  
> So I'm back and here's a new chapter. As you may have noticed, it's not the final one. It's been 4 weeks since I posted the previous chapter and I really wanted to post sooner but first I got busy, then my inspiration ran dry and then I couldn't figure out the very ending of the story. I know I'm getting there but I haven't decided how exactly I want it to end.  
> Hence this long chapter to thank you for your patience and to keep you busy until I post the "real" last chapter hehe  
> Thanks a lot for reading and commenting and leaving kudos, it means a lot, and I hope you like this chapter. As always, let me know!!!!

Mike spends the rest of the day drifting in and out of sleep, eating and chatting with Rachel and Donna, whom he begged the attending nurse to allow in his room. Dr. d’Alliet comes to check on him late in the afternoon and Mike doesn’t miss the proud smirk she tries to contain when he tells her he can hear himself as well as most of the loud sounds around him or when someone speaks directly to his healing ear. She looks proud and satisfied with the work she’s done on him, and that only makes Mike happier with the results as he understands it’s just the beginning, there still are many things to discover and he can’t wait to get rid of the thick bandage and finally hear Donna and Rachel’s voice properly.

His head still hurts a lot, it feels heavy and his ear is sore and Dr. d’Alliet tells him she’ll perform an audio test tomorrow morning, if Mike’s ear looks fine enough when they change his bandage. He might need a hearing aid depending on how well he can hear once it’s all settled, in a couple of weeks, but Dr. d’Alliet assures him she’ll know the extend of the success of the surgery as soon as she can have a look in his ear and performs the first test. She’s “hightly confident” he won’t need further help to hear perfectly but she can’t be 100% sure as of now.

Everything is going as planned and Mike is happy except for one thing: he hates the way he sounds and, though he knew he had some speech impediments, now he can hear himself he understands why people thought he was retarded. He sounds weird, even weirder than he assumed he did and it upsets him a lot. Rachel once told him she liked his voice and the way he talked and, surely, she must have been trying to be nice because nobody could _like_ the way he sounds. Dr. d’Alliet told him he had no reason to be ashamed about his speech and that managing to speak as well as he did while being completely deaf was really impressive and something he should instead be proud of. She also said that it would take time but he would get rid of his “cute” (her words) speech impediments and eventually speak “normally”. Maybe he will, but it’s not going to happen anytime soon and he’s not proud one bit, he’s ashamed. Ashamed to go back to the world and be able to ear and still speak like a 5-year old.

Rachel and Donna are asked to leave the room at 7 unless one of them wants to stay the night and Rachel asks him twice if he’s sure he doesn’t want her to stay. The bed is big enough for four people and she doesn’t mind staying with him but Mike replies that he’s tired and the drug he’s been given for his headache will have him sleep in no time, he doesn’t want to waste her time. She tells him she’ll visit him tomorrow after court and presses a kiss on his warm forehead before sliding her hand in Donna’s and leaving the room.

 

 

After Harvey gets the confirmation that everything went well with Mike, he sends him a text message and drives to Brooklyn where he spends an hour boxing against Clifford who doesn’t ask questions and takes Harvey’s strong blows and gives some when he can.

It’s past 2pm when Harvey gets back home. Paul and Liz are coming over for dinner and he still hasn’t got any idea of what he’s going to cook for them. He loves to cook and every time he does, which is once or twice a year, he ends up thinking he should do it more often. He likes the concentration that cooking requires, the fact that when he slices and measures and cuts, he can stop thinking about everything else and focus on the task. He likes the smells emanating from the pots, he likes adding spices and mixing ingredients, he likes the way it all magically blends into something he knows his guests are going to enjoy. He doesn’t cook much because he would never cook for himself and he never has friends over, he’d rather visit than host, but when he does, he unmistakably gets compliments. Like with everything he does, everything he puts his mind to, when Harvey hosts a dinner party, he delivers.

He showers and texts Mike again, tries to not feel disappointed or worried that he still hasn’t texted him back and then texts Donna.

He then spends a good 30 minutes looking for a recipe in his mum’s cookbook. Helena was a great cook, she enjoyed pleasing people with food very much and the man and twin ogres living under her roof enjoyed eating so she always tried new things and kept a cooking journal full of recipes and commentaries Harvey inherited when she passed away. He settles for a difficult one, one that will keep him busy until his guests arrive, takes a photo of the ingredients page and grabs his car keys to go grocery shopping.

 

When the doorbell rings at 8, Harvey doesn’t even notice that his brother and Liz are 45 minutes late. He himself is pretty late as well, he hasn’t changed, isn’t done with the cooking and hasn’t laid the table. All thanks to Donna who called him at 7 to let him know she’d seen Mike and that he was okay. Harvey quickly asked to change the subject because trying to have a conversation about something you don’t know with someone who doesn’t want to tell you about it and keeps dancing around the subject is both ridiculous and frustrating. So, after Donna reassured him about Mike’s wellbeing, they talked about the firm, about their upcoming mediation meeting, Ethan’s glorious return from his 2-week vacation and a little bit about Rachel.

“Sorry guys.”, Harvey says when he opens the door. “I’m terribly late, nothing’s ready…”

“It’s okay.”, Liz smiles. “I’ll help you.”

They hug and Paul teases Harvey about the fact that he has only seen his apartment once before settling in the living room in one of the armchairs that faces the open kitchen.

“What are you cooking? One of mum’s specialties?”, he asks, sniffing pensively.

“Not really.”, Harvey replies with a smile. “It’s something Mum only cooked once or twice. Something you always asked for our birthday lunch and almost never got.”

“Oh god…”, Paul sighs with a delighted smile. “I haven’t had boeuf bourguignon in years.”

“It looks delicious.”, Liz agrees as she opens the pot to check on the cooking meat. “What do you need help with?”

“Pretty much everything else.”, Harvey chuckles. “Peeling and cutting the carrots and onions took me forever, I haven’t had time to prepare the starter.”, he explains, putting several bowls in front of her on the kitchen counter.

“Holy guacamole.”, Liz giggles when she spots the delicious-looking home-made avocado mix. “So, what are we doing?”

 

“I think you should tell Harvey.”, Rachel says as she grabs two plates from the cupboard in her kitchen. “I can’t, Mike would kill me, but you could?”, she turns around with a hopeful smile and walks to the table.

“No.”, Donna huffs. “I don’t want to break Mike’s trust and Harvey hasn’t asked me anything about it. I know he’s dying to know what’s going on but I won’t tell him.”, she shakes her head. “Why do you suddenly want to be nice to Harvey?”

“Telling Harvey wouldn’t just be a good thing for Harvey.”, Rachel replies as she puts a salad bowl on the dinner table. “Mike seemed pretty upset with the way he speaks, which I kind of expected, and I’m afraid he’s not going to want to see Harvey until it’s gotten better, or more _normal_ …”, she airquotes. “… which could take years of speech therapy to achieve.”

“Are you saying you’re finally giving their relationship your blessing?”, Donna asks with a mischievous smile.

“No, I mean, I just want Mike to be happy and-“

“I love you, Rachel Zane.”, Donna wraps her arms around Rachel’s waist and pulls her into a kiss.

“I’m not giving them my blessing!”, Rachel protests when they pull apart.

“You totally are.”, Donna laughs and plants a quick kiss on her lips before sitting at the table. “And it makes me happy.”

“Whatever.”, Rachel sighs. “I still think Harvey should know.”

“Mike asked for a week.”, Donna replies. “And, surprisingly, Harvey’s willing to wait so I’m not going to intervene.”

“Fine…”, Rachel pouts and grabs the salad bowl. “I hope Mike does get in touch with him soon because I have a really bad feeling about it. I know Mike, I know exactly what he’s thinking right now.”

“Which is?”, Donna asks, nodding her thank you when Rachel passes her the bowl.

“He realizes that things are never going to be the same. But he doesn’t see that as a positive thing right now. I’m pretty sure he’s beginning to list all the things he could have done, had his hearing been back earlier on in his life, and hating the fact that he’s going to spend his life mourning them.”, she grabs her glass and takes a sip. “His speech impediments are his main focus right now because he needs something to be mad at. He’s basically starting over now he can hear. There are no excuses, he could want to go back to school and study law or medicine like he always wanted. He could get a teaching degree like his Grammy wanted. He could do everything…”, she sighs. “And I’m sure he’s scared of being frustrated for the rest of his life, he’s scared of facing the world without his handicap armor, without the excuses it provided. And when Mike’s scared, he shuts everybody down and he turns in on himself. It’s bad.”, she purses her lips.

“Wow, that’s one interesting theory.”, Donna smiles teasingly and places a hand on Rachel’s when Rachel rolls her eyes. “Seriously though, you could be right. It’s gotta be scary and I hadn’t seen things from that perspective. But he’s a big boy, Harvey’s a big boy too and we should let them figure this out.”

Donna’s right, maybe it’s time she gives Mike some breathing room, maybe it’s time she accepts he doesn’t always need her help. Especially when Harvey’s involved.

“Stop worrying.”, Donna squeezes her hand with a fond smile. “Look, I was going to talk to you about this after Mike’s homecoming, but I might as well do it now. I was thinking that we could go on a little vacation, just the two of us, what do you think?”

“Oh. Where?”

“I’d love to go to Cuba.”, Donna offers with an expectant smile and takes a mouthful of salad.

“I’ve always wanted to go!”, Rachel exclaims. “I’d love to go with you.”

“Great.”, Donna wipes her mouth. “We’ll start planning it next week.”

“Woohoo! We’re going to Cuba!”

 

 

“Paul was right, you’re an amazing chef…” Liz sighs contently. “The meat is perfectly cooked.”

“You told her I was amazing?”, Harvey smirks at his brother.

“No, I said you were a great cook.”, Paul rectifies, grabbing his glass of Merlot. “Which is true, you take after Mommy. This is delicious, even better than hers.”

“Thanks you, guys.”, Harvey smiles. “How’s the wedding going? Have you set a date?”

“Not a date, more of a _season_.”, Liz replies. “We’ve decided to have a winter wedding.”

“That’s um… original.”, Harvey chuckles. “Here? In New York?”

“We were thinking of renting a mansion in the Hamptons.”, Paul explains. “And that’s great that you brought up the subject because there’s something I want to ask you.”

“Oh.”, Harvey puts down his glass and straightens up on his chair. Paul looks very serious all of a sudden and it’s a bit unsettling.

“Okay…”, Paul inhales deeply through his nose. “I know we haven’t always been on the best of terms, probably because of mom and dad’s troubles and the fact that they picked us apart all the time, but you’re my brother, and I might not have told you or shown you enough but you’ve always meant a lot to me, I…”, he clears his throat. “I admire you, I’ve always looked up to you and, well…”, he chuckles. “I love you. Obviously. So, uh, will you be my best man?”

Harvey’s pretty sure he’s blushing and he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t expected Paul to ask him that. What he hadn’t expected, though, is the genuine sweetness and love he can see and hear. He never told Paul he loved him, never thought he had to, they’re brothers, of course he loves him. Paul writes it in text messages, told him a couple of times when he was drunk (for example at Harvey and Alex’s wedding, where he wasn’t one of the best men) but he never told him like that, so bluntly.

“Uh, yeah, of course.”, he replies and takes a long gulp of his wine. “I’d be honored.”

“Awesome!”, Paul grins and it pains Harvey to see the relief in his brother’s eyes, like he expected Harvey to decline. “To our wedding!”, he raises his glass.

“To your wedding.”, Harvey smiles and clinks his glass against Paul’s.

“How’s Mike doing?”, Liz asks, finishing her plate.

“Fine, I think.”, Harvey replies evasively.

He’s told them about Mike’s surgery because he needed to explain why Mike wouldn’t be here with them tonight. But he hasn’t told them all about the context and circumstances, not about the kind of surgery he was getting as Liz was discreet enough not to ask.

“You think?”, Paul snorts and Liz nudges him in the ribs, a scowl on her face.

“I haven’t heard from him.”, Harvey sighs and gets up to bring the empty dish to the kitchen counter. “I know it went well, you know Donna is dating his best friend slash invasive caretaker Rachel, right? They went to see him and Donna called me to tell me Mike was doing fine and resting.”

Paul frowns and turns to Liz who shushes him with a pointed look before speaking.

“And, um, why didn’t you go see him?”, she asks cautiously, at least a lot more cautiously than Paul would have.

She watches the almost unnoticeable slump of Harvey’s shoulders and patiently waits for his answer.

“Because he doesn’t want me to.”, Harvey replies with a sigh when he turns around. “He hasn’t even told me what he was getting surgery on.”

“What?!”, Paul chokes and Liz shoots him another pointed look.

“What do you mean?”, she asks. “I thought you two were, uh… On the phone, you hinted that things were good between you and Mike.”, she frowns.

“They are…”, Harvey sighs as he places a cheese platter and bread on the table. “I don’t know why he refuses to tell me, he says he can’t.”, he snorts. “He asked to be left alone for a week. By me, that is. Donna and Rachel are welcome to visit him whenever.”

“Wow, it must be eating you up.”, Paul remarks, stuffing his mouth with a big piece of baguette, and Liz rolls her eyes.

“You could say that.”, Harvey chuckles dryly. “It’s barely been 24 hours since he was admitted at the hospital and I already mis-, I mean, I’m already _bored_ and… Anyway.”, he clears his throat and Liz barely manages to suppress a smile. “So, a winter wedding?”

 

Mike opens his eyes in his dark bedroom and winces. The medicine must have worn off because his head and ear still hurt like a motherfucker and he doesn’t even have the strength to reach out for the nurse call button. He must go back to sleep now, it’s the only moment he’s not hurting.

He turns his head to the side and lets out a painful whimper when his ear comes in contact with the pillow. There’s a small lamp on the nightstand, a glass of water and the little stuffed bear Rachel brought him but he cannot see his phone. It must be in his bag somewhere. He said he would text Harvey and it’s been a whole day and he still hasn’t. He’s sure Rachel or Donna told Harvey he was fine but he still wants to text him. He doesn’t have the strength to get up and look for his phone, he can barely turn his head back around and it’s really frustrating.

He grunts and closes his eyes, hoping to go back to sleep and wake up feeling better. He tries to picture nice things, his Grammy used to say it that helped find sleep, that it helped chase the pain away. He tries to picture the night he just spent with Harvey but it doesn’t make him feel better, it makes him feel sad. He misses Harvey, he misses Harvey’s soft brown eyes smiling at him, the warmth emanating from his hands on Mike’s skin, the way his purses his lips when he’s trying to hide his disappointment or his anger, the way he wrinkles his nose when he doesn’t agree… he misses Harvey.

He swallows thickly and huffs at the sound of his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, it still feels so weird. Maybe thinking about Rachel will help him go back to sleep. He can’t suppress a smile at the memory of the haughty teenage girl he met when he was 11, the haughty teenage girl who gave up on her horse-riding classes to learn how to sign and became his best friend. His perfect memory allows him to relive some of his fondest memories with her and that does the trick, he’s back to sleep a couple of minutes later.

 

 

Harvey’s done with the cleaning a little bit after one. They had a very nice time and he promised to invite them again soon. Paul might be very different from him, he might be loud and have a crappy sense of humor, he’s still his twin brother and he realizes that he’s wasted a lot of time being jealous of him, of his general ease, of his relationship with their father, of his optimism… they could have gotten along had Harvey put his stupid feelings aside. Better late than never, he’s going to be Paul’s best man and he will never forget the sweet words Paul told him tonight.

Mike still hasn’t replied to his text messages and that kind of ruins the good mood he’s in, it also worries him so he decides to text him.

“ _Hey. How are you? Please let me know. Goodnight. xoxo_ ”

If Mike still hasn’t texted him tomorrow morning, he’ll call Rachel. If something’s going on, she’ll know and she’ll tell him, one way or another. Nobody can resist the best closer in town. Right now, he doesn’t feel like New York’s best closer. He doesn’t even feel good, all of a sudden.

He almost confessed it to Paul and Liz: he misses him. He thought a week would be okay, he really did. Of course he was angry and frustrated for being left out of the “secret” but he really thought he’d be able to live with only getting texts from Mike for a week. But the thing is that Mike hasn’t texted him, that Harvey can’t stand to not know what Mike went to the hospital for, to not know why Mike refused to tell him when he told Donna and Rachel. The thing is that he realizes that he won’t settle for texts and that’s if Mike ever decides to get in touch again. It hasn’t been two days and he misses Mike’s presence, his smile, his kind and smart blue eyes. He already misses his voice, his loud laugh, the way he says his name… It hasn’t been two days and he doesn’t know how he’s going to make it through a whole week without going crazy. What if Mike never contacts him again? What if what he went through, the surgery, what he’s going through right now, makes him realize he doesn’t want to be with Harvey? _Fuck_. That’s exactly what he was trying to avoid by not engaging in relationships, he didn’t want to become dependant, to get attached, to miss, to be worried… he didn’t want to _love_. And yes, it’s stupid and it’s too soon to be sure and it will go away because it always, _always_ does but he might be in love with Mike. _Fuck_.

He’s got an important meeting tomorrow, one he spent hours preparing for with Donna, one that rhymes with big bonuses for the firm and for him. And Ethan is coming back. He should focus on that and only that.

That’s what he tells himself in the shower, what he tells himself as he tosses and turns in his bed, unable to find sleep despite the soreness and tiredness from boxing against Clifford. What he tells himself until he finally gives in and falls asleep at 3.

 

 

“Mr. Specter!”, Harvey hears when he steps out of the elevator which forces him to look up from his phone.

A tanned and delighted-looking Ethan is waiting for him in the corridor, a coffee in hand. _Good boy_.

“Ethan.”, Harvey replies noncommittally, even though he’s more than happy that his assistant is finally back. “Nice tan.”, he adds, all but tearing the warm paper cup from Ethan’s hands.

“Thank you!”, the young man grins. “Corsica is-“

“I don’t care.”, Harvey cuts him with a deadly stare he pairs with a smirk. “Seriously though, I’ll agree to take a look at your undoubtedly cliché holiday photos if you manage to clear my afternoon.”

“Oh.”, Ethan nods. “I’ll see what I can do, it’s pretty busy.”

“I know.”, Harvey sighs, entering his office. “I have a meeting at 10, it’s a very important meeting that needs my full attention so don’t let anyone in until then, alright?”, he raises a serious eyebrow at Ethan and closes the glass door behind him.

“I’m glad to see you too!”, Ethan calls before walking back to his desk with a loud sigh Harvey knows he was supposed to hear.

Mike still hasn’t texted him and he agreed on letting him until 8 before freaking out. It’s 8:02, so he picks up his office phone and dials Rachel’s number.

“Rachel Pettyfer.”

“Hey Rachel, Harvey Specter.”

“Oh, hi.”, she replies and Harvey can sense he’s interrupting something. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, thanks.”, he replies, deciding not to ask if it’s a bad time. He doesn’t care, he’s waited long enough, he’s not going to call back later. “Look. I’ve been trying to reach Mike unsuccessfully since he went to the hospital, do you happen to know anything?”

“Um, about what?”

“Is he alright? Does he have access to his phone?”, Harvey asks, trying to sound casual.

“I called this morning and talked to the nurse, he’s doing fine.”, Rachel replies. “I have no idea if he’s checked his phone but I know he sleeps a lot, I mean, uh…”, she clears her throat. “… I’m afraid there’s not much I can, uh…”

“Okay.”, Harvey exhales sharply. “Are you going to visit him today?”

“Yeah, I have a court appointment at 10 and I’m heading straight to the hospital afterwards.”

“Could you tell him I called you?”, Harvey asks, rolling his eyes. This whole thing is ridiculous. “He promised to text me and he hasn’t so…”

“I’m sure he will.”, Rachel says. “But I will ask him about it.”

“Thanks.”, Harvey licks his lips. “Tell him I say hi.”

“I will.”

An awkward silence settles in and Harvey rolls his eyes again. He’s a pretty straightforward guy, he tells things like they are (unless he needs to be more diplomatic, but only in his job) and all this secrecy is making him crazy.

“I’m sorry…”, Rachel finally breaks the silence. “I wish I could tell you more, I really do, but Mike made me-“

“I understand.”, Harvey cuts her a little more sharply that he intended. “You’re a good friend and I respect that.”, he nods even though she can’t see him. “Thank you for taking my call and telling me what you could. I hope to hear from him soon.”

“I’ll make sure you do.”, she replies. “Good luck for your meeting.”

“Thank you. Have a good day.”

“You too.”

Harvey hangs up the phone and heaves out a long sigh. He’s confident he’ll hear from Mike soon, he knows he can trust her. He still has no idea where Rachel and him stand in terms of mutual respect but she’s been cordial and helpful since he patched things up with Mike so maybe they’re getting there. Heck, they might even become _friends_.

A loud and annoyed _“Oh please…”_ comes from outside the glass walls of his office and when he looks up from the phone he’d been staring at for a good minute, he sees Donna rolling her eyes dramatically at Ethan who’s blocking the door, and he can’t help a snort.

“She’s allowed to come in!”, he calls, gesturing for her to come.

“Of course I am!”, Donna huffs when she opens the door. “When are you going to understand that I am _always_ allowed in Harvey’s office?”, she rolls her eyes at Ethan again.

“Thank you, Ethan.”, Harvey chuckles and shakes his head fondly. Oh, how he’s missed his assistant.

“Seriously.”, Donna sighs, closing the door behind her. “He’s a little slow on the uptake.”

“I asked him to not let anyone in, he’s only doing his job.”, Harvey explains as he fires up his laptop. “I just got off the phone with your girlfriend, she wished me good luck for our meeting.”

“Oh.”, Donna takes a seat across from him. She thinks she knows what Rachel and Harvey talked about but she doesn’t feel like _not_ talking about Mike with him again, so instead, she opens the folder she brought with her and raises a quizzing eyebrow. “Ready?”, she smirks.

 

 

Rachel walks briskly along the bright and beautifully decorated corridor of the hospital’s WIP wing. She kicked ass in court just an hour ago and she feels light as a feather. In fact, since Donna offered to go on a trip to Cuba with her yesterday at dinner, she hasn’t been able to stop grinning. In bed, in the shower, in the cab to work… Well, maybe she stopped for a minute when Harvey called because she felt bad for him and the obvious worry in his voice. But apart from that moment, she’s been like a kid on a sugar high.

Everything in her life is perfect right now. First off, she’s in love with Donna and Donna’s in love with her and she hasn’t felt that complete in years. Then, she sent 6 applications to her favorite firms (Pearson Specter included) this morning and she feels more than ready for interviews. On top of it all, Donna called her right after court to ask if she was up for dinner with her parents and of course she said yes. Last but definitely not least, her favorite person in the world, her best friend and brother got his wish and can now hear. It’s almost unfair, nobody should have the right to be this happy and she’s not sure what she did to deserve this but she’ll still gladly take it.

Mike’s door is closed so she knocks a couple of times and waits.

“He’s asleep.”, she hears and turns around.

“Oh. Can I still get in?”, she asks to the nurse ( _Gretchen or something?_ ) who thinks for a moment and finally nods. “Thank you.”

She carefully opens the door and steps inside the bright room. Birds are singing and there’s a huge bouquet of flowers sitting on the coffee table right under the wide-open window. The long crème curtains are flowing around it, giving the whole scene a very romantic atmosphere.

Mike is lying under the covers, his face buried in his pillow and Rachel can’t help a relieved smile when she spots the considerably smaller bandage covering his right ear. Dr. d’Alliet must have visited him this morning and checked on his ear.

On her way to the coffee table to take a look at the card on the flowers, she trips on the bed.

“Shit!”, she winces, automatically turning to Mike when she sees him stir in the corner of her eye. _He heard her_.

She’s going to have to get used to it, she won’t be able to blast music in the morning when he’s still asleep anymore. She won’t be able to just turn her back to him when she wants to talk on the phone privately. She won’t have to sign anymore. _Mike can hear_.

Turns out the flowers aren’t from the person she had in mind.

> “Dearest Mike.
> 
> We’re so proud of you, so happy for you.
> 
> We hope to see you very soon.
> 
> Take care.
> 
> Robert and Christina Zane.”

She puts the card back on the coffee table and walks to the bed. Mike’s computer is stored away on the large nightstand but she can’t see his phone. Nor any of the stuff he packed before going to the hospital.

She eventually finds everything in the closet, untouched, and spends a good 15 minutes quietly folding his clothes and putting them on the shelves, spreading his toiletries on the bathroom counter.

His phone is the last thing she finds in his messenger bag. It’s completely dead so she grabs the charger and plugs it in the wall next to the bed before settling on the couch with a magazine.

The bedroom door opens several minutes later and Rachel stands and greets Dr. d’Alliet with a smile when she sees her.

“Got a minute?”, the doctor asks, motioning for Rachel to follow her outside the room.

“Sure.”, Rachel nods and puts her magazine down.

“Gretchen told me you were in here. How are you?”, Dr. d’Alliet asks once they’re out in the corridor.

“I’m good, thank you.”, Rachel replies. “Is everything alright with Mike?”

“Yeah, his ear’s fine. More than fine, actually.”, the doctor nods but Rachel can’t help but notice the slight frown of her eyebrows. “We performed, or at least tried to perform an audio test this morning and the results are incredible. He can already hear many sounds and identified most of what I made him hear. It’s still much too soon to draw any conclusion but I’m really happy with the progress he’s already made.”

“But?”, Rachel inquires, folding her arms across her chest.

“He’s been having these terrible headaches since waking up yesterday and they won’t go away.”, Dr. d’Alliet sighs. “That’s why I said _tried_. He agreed to do the test because he wanted to know how he his ear was doing but he was in a great deal of pain and we had to cut it short.”, she shakes her head. “I have no idea where those migraines come from and I don’t know how to make them go away. That’s why he’s still sleeping. We’re giving him high doses of painkillers, basically putting him to sleep, but that’s the only thing we can do…”

“Okay…”, Rachel clears her throat. “Wh- I mean, what are you going to do if it doesn’t get better?”

“Well, I was supposed to leave for Paris today and let one of my colleagues handle the rest of Mike’s post op follow-up, but I cancelled my plans. I can’t possibly leave without knowing what’s going on. If he’s still in pain tonight, I’m going to schedule him for a CT first thing tomorrow morning. I’m going do every exam there is until I figure out what is wrong.”, the doctor replies and there’s guilt in her eyes. “We just gave him the drugs so he’s not going to wake up until late this afternoon, I suggest you come back later.”, she adds.

“Alright.”, Rachel exhales sharply. “Thank you.”

“I’ll see you later, then.”, Dr. d’Alliet smiles and brushes Rachel’s forearm before walking away.

“Yeah…”, Rachel sighs.

She walks back in the room to get her handbag and swallows thickly. Dr. d’Alliet seemed worried and a lot less hopeful than she was yesterday when she did the post op visit.

When Mike’s phone screen suddenly lights up, she picks it up and enters his pin code.

There are 16 new texts, 4 from Harvey. She hesitates for two seconds before opening them.

_“Good morning. Hope you slept well. Break a leg! xoxo”_

_“Donna told me everything went well. I’m glad. Now get some rest and text me when you can.”_

_"How are you?"_

“ _Hey. How are you? Please let me know. Goodnight. xoxo_ ”

She told Harvey she’d make sure he hears from Mike. Mike who is currently sleeping soundly, Mike who won’t wake up until later today. She hesitates again, not for too long though, and starts typing.

_“I know I promised to text you but with all the sleeping and doctor’s visits, I haven’t had much time to myself. Thank you for your texts. Everything’s fine, I’m resting and enjoying my little break from reality. Hope you’re having a great day. I’ll text you again soon. xoxo”_

She feels a little bad when she presses the screen to send the message but she’s sure Mike would have texted Harvey if he hadn’t had experienced the headaches and he would have written something in that range. So she’s not exactly lying or pretending, she’s doing it for them, so the communication doesn’t get cut, so the fragile and thin connection they have just managed to rebuild doesn’t break.

With a sigh, she takes one last glance at Mike’s sleeping form and leaves the room.

 

 

“I cleared your afternoon.”, Ethan announces triumphantly when Harvey comes back from his lunch. “Wait.”, he frowns. “It’s past 2, where have you been?”

“First of all, thank you for clearing my afternoon.”, Harvey replies, strolling past his assistant’s desk. “Second of all, it’s none of your business.”

“Okay, yeah, I know, but, how did the meeting go?”

“What do you think?”, Harvey turns around and wiggles his eyebrows.

It went well. Perfectly. Donna and him literally crushed the opposing counsel and his client with their plan, earning the firm a new client (the one they just beat who left the meeting with the promise to call for a meeting with them soon) and a shitload of money. After that, Donna, Jessica and him went out for lunch to celebrate. Maybe they had a little too much to drink, maybe it’s Mike’s long-awaited text that’s making his head spin with giddiness but Harvey is euphoric.

“Yes!”, Ethan yells, presenting his fist. “You’re such a badass!”

Harvey rolls his eyes and, after he’s made sure nobody was looking, he smiles and fistbumps with him.

“Since my afternoon’s cleared, I guess I’m going to head home.”, he says, entering his office.

“Wait, wait, wait.”, Ethan protests. “You said you’d look at my holiday pictures. I have them ready. It will only take a couple of minutes.”

Harvey rolls his eyes again and turns around.

“Fine.”, he sighs, following a delighted Ethan to his desk.

“Take a seat.”, the young man says, patting the extra chair he’s brought and Harvey complies. “So, me and Nia went to Corsica, in France.”, he explains, pointing at the screen which displays a stunning landscape. “Nice, uh?”

“Very nice.”, Harvey agrees. “I’ve been to Nice and Saint-Tropez but never to Corsica, I’ve heard it’s beautiful.”

Ethan nods enthusiastically and starts going through the pictures.

“That’s your girlfriend?”, Harvey gapes at a picture showing a stunning bikini-clad brunette.

“Yup, that’s Nia.”

“Man, she’s hot.”, Harvey raises an eyebrow.

“I know!”, Ethan chuckles. “She’s also the nicest girl I’ve ever met. I really hit the jackpot with her.”

“You sure did.”, Harvey whispers as the pictures continue to scroll across the screen.

“We went skydiving.”, Ethan says, pressing pause on the slide show. “It was awesome. Like the most awesome thing I’ve ever done!”, he grins and Harvey can’t help but smile back.

“I could never do that.”, he says, and unable to suppress a yawn, covers his mouth with a hand. “Sorry.”

“Is she hot?”, Ethan raises a playful eyebrow.

“What?”

“The girl you spent the night with?”, Ethan asks, cocking his head to one side.

Harvey glares at him and gestures towards the screen.

“Right, none of my business.”, the young man mutters.

 _You have no idea_ , Harvey thinks. He wishes he hadn’t slept because of a sexy night and not because he was worrying about Mike. He wishes he had had dinner with Liz, his brother _and_ Mike. He wishes he had spent the night in Mike’s arms instead of his cold and empty bed. A bed he used to want empty after separating from Alex. It’s been almost 48 hours since he dropped Mike at his place after an amazing night. Two almost sleepless nights and he’s exhausted. Both physically and emotionally. Maybe that’s why he feels excited and jumpy. Maybe it’s not the big win or the champagne, maybe he’s just drained. Thank god Ethan cleared his afternoon.

“So?”, Ethan asks, pulling him out of his thoughts. “Does it make you want to go?”

“Uh, yes, of course.”, Harvey straightens up and gives him a smile he hopes doesn’t look too fake. “I’m glad you had a nice time.”

“Maybe you should consider taking some time off too.”, his assistant says, closing the picture tab. “You look like sh-, I mean, you look _exhausted_.”

“Thanks.”, Harvey chuckles. “I _am_ exhausted. This case we just won drained me. That’s why I asked you to cancel my meetings.”, he gets up. “I’m going to head home now, call me if there’s an emergency, okay?”

“Yes, Sir.”, Ethan replies, doing a salute. “See you tomorrow!”

Harvey’s about to ask his assistant to tone down the sass (something he’d never admit to have missed) when his cell phone buzzes in his suit pants pocket.

“Harvey Specter.”, he says, picking up without checking the caller ID.

“Hey Harv, it’s Alex.”

“Oh hey, what’s up?”, Harvey asks, tucking his phone between his ear and shoulder and proceeding to gather his laptop and personal stuff in his briefcase. He’s a little surprised to hear from him considering the content of their last conversation.

“I’m fine.”, Alex sighs. “Look, I know I said I didn’t want to see you again but I’m…”, he pauses and Harvey stops what he’s doing. “I just walked out of the hospital where my father is staying for two weeks and… um…”

When Alex doesn’t finish his sentence, Harvey decides to help.

“You need to talk?”

“I don’t know what I need, Harv’… That’s the thing.”, Alex replies in a sob that makes Harvey’s heart clench painfully. “It’s just… It’s just so hard to watch him lie in this fucking bed and these doctors… He…”, he swallows audibly and pauses again. “I hate hospitals…”

“How’s Frank doing?”, Harvey asks.

“He’s doing fine, the doctors say it hasn’t spread to other organs and they sound confident it won’t but… he’s in pain.”, Alex sighs. “I took two weeks off to be by his side and it’s starting to get to me, I think.”

Harvey closes his briefcase and walks out of his office.

“Yeah, I know…”, he replies and nods at Ethan before heading for the elevators. “It’s hard to watch the people you love suffering.”, he sighs.

“Could we meet up somewhere tonight?”, Alex asks. “You’re the only one who understands what I’m going through and…”

“I’m heading home for the afternoon, I need to catch up on sleep but maybe you could come over for dinner?”, Harvey offers.

“Okay. Thanks, Harvey. Do I need to bring anything?”

“We’ll order in, don’t worry.”, Harvey replies as he climbs in the cabin. “Let’s say 7:30?”

“Yeah, thanks again, Harv’.”

“See you later, Alex.”

Alex was there when his mum died, he was there every step of the way for him. He spent countless nights sitting at Harvey’s side on the couch or in bed. He spent countless nights hearing Harvey cry and break things. He didn’t say anything when Harvey ignored him for two whole days. _He was_ _there_. And it’s only fair that Harvey should help him today. But first things first, he needs to sleep. Now he’s heard from Mike and given the amount of sleep he has to catch up on, it shouldn’t take to long for him to fall asleep once he’s home.

 

 

Mike is awoken by distant voices. He doesn’t want to open his eyes because if he does he’s going to fully wake up and since he woke up from surgery, being awake has always meant hurting. His head his familiarly heavy but it’s not so bad, he’s afraid opening his eyes and will unleash the migraine. So he doesn’t move, doesn’t even stir, he tries to concentrate on the voices instead, on trying to understand what they’re saying. Although this morning’s audio test was pure torture because of the headache, he enjoyed hearing those sounds again immensely. Dr. d’Alliet put headphones on his head and made him listen to various sounds: waves crashing, dogs barking, a phone ringing, some sounds he couldn’t guess… and it felt amazing.

He tries hard but he can’t understand what the voices are saying, he just thinks he recognizes Rachel’s voice. Maybe the fact that his good ear is buried in the pillow doesn’t really help.

After a few minutes, curiosity takes over the fear of pain and he rolls over on his back.

“155 million dollars?!”

 _Definitely Rachel_ , he thinks with a smile, his eyes still shut. He’s not sure about the other feminine voice but he guesses it belongs to Donna.

“Could you lower your voice?”, he asks, teasingly, but he just woke up so it comes out a lot raspier and annoyed than he intended.

“Mike!”, Rachel squeals and he hears her rushing to his side.

“Yeah…”, he clears his throat and opens his eyes.

Both Rachel and Donna are standing next to the bed, looming over him. The warm sun is bathing the room and Mike guessed it must be late afternoon.

“How are you feeling?”, Rachel asks with a worried smile.

“Tired…”, Mike sighs as the familiar drumming in his temple begins.

“How’s your head?”, she delicately sits on the bed and grabs one of his hands.

“It’s a bit better but I can feel that the migraine’s coming back.”, he replies, closing his eyes.

“Dr. d’Alliet told me she’d cancelled her trip back to Paris to try to figure out why you’re having those headaches.”, Rachel explains, stroking his hand.

“Great.”, Mike huffs and opens his eyes before slowly sitting up.

The migraine’s definitely coming back and he knows it’s only a matter of minutes, maybe an hour, so he wants to make the most of this time. And he hopes that implies eating something.

“So, you won the lottery?”, he asks to Donna and clicks on the nurse call button.

“What?”, Donna frowns.

“You two were talking about 155 million dollars if I heard correctly.”, he smiles.

“Oh, that!”, Donna chuckles. “No, I didn’t win the jackpot, but Harvey and I won the firm and ourselves a large amount of money today.”

Mike smiles back and swallows discreetly. _Harvey_. He hasn’t time to think about him today with all the sleeping and the constant drumming in his head.

“Congratulations.”, he says as a nurse enters the room.

“You called?”, a young blond woman asks.

“Yes, I guess it’s not dinner time yet but I was wondering if I could have something to eat, I didn’t have lunch and I’m starving.”, he asks with a sheepish smile.

“Of course.”, the young nurse smiles. “It’s almost dinner time anyway. I’ll be right back.”

“Thank you.”, Mike nods and reaches out for his phone he just spotted on the bedside table.

“Um.”, Rachel holds up her index finger. “I took all of your stuff out of your bag and your phone was dead so…”, she licks her lips nervously. “When it turned back on, I saw you had received a lot of text messages and three from Harvey.”, she continues as he starts scrolling through the various text messages. “He called me this morning because he was worried about you, apparently you told him you’d text him and… since you hadn’t, he called me. I told him I’d talk about it with you and-“

“You texted him?!”, Mike looks up from his phone and glares at her.

“You were asleep and I didn’t know if-“

“You had no right!”, Mike shouts. “It’s _my_ fucking phone!”

“I know!”, Rachel jerks up from the bed. “But I didn’t know if you would be able to text him today and he sounded so worried! I’m sorry but-“

“You had no right to text him, Rachel!”, he repeats, rereading the text she sent Harvey on his behalf. It’s not bad, it’s actually almost word for word what he would have replied, but still. “I was out most of the time or I was too tired to text him but that doesn’t give you the right to read my texts and answer them!”

“Mike…”, Donna steps in cautiously. “She was only trying to help.”

“I don’t care. I would never do that, whatever the circumstances!”, he looks away and exhales heavily through his nose. The angrier he gets, the more his head hurts and if he doesn’t calm down, he might not be able to eat his dinner. Plus, he sounds aweful when he’s angry and it upsets him even more. “I want to be alone.”, he says, lying back down.

“Mike, I’m sorry…”, Rachel bites her bottom lip.

“Please, leave me alone.”

“Come on.”, Donna whispers, grabbing Rachel’s hand. “Let’s go.”

“I’m sorry, Mike…”, Rachel repeats, holding back the tears.

When the closes on them, Mike rubs his temple and holds up his phone. He was so caught up in his anger that he didn’t notice the reply he got from Harvey following Rachel’s message.

“ _I’m glad to read that you’re okay. I am having a hell of good day as Donna and I just won a huge case for the firm and Ethan’s finally back. He wants me to look at his holiday pictures… Except for a nice tan, the kid hasn’t changed one bit. Thanks for your message. Miss you. xoxo_ ”

He’s about to type his reply when the door opens.

“Here you go.”, the nurse smiles at him and she puts a delicious smelling tray on the rolling table, the only piece of furniture that could indicate that this huge and chic bedroom is a hospital room. “Do you need anything else?”

“No, thank you very much.”, Mike smiles gratefully.

Well, technically there are a lot of things he’d need right now. Among them, he’d like a beer, to take a shower, a candy bar and to talk to Harvey.

“ _I just woke up and I’m about to have dinner. Miss you too. Goodnight._ ”, he quickly types before putting his phone away.

He could have one of these things. He knows Harvey would come in a heartbeat if he called him because he told him. Gosh, he can call him now. He smiles, imagining Harvey’s face upon receiving a call from him and it hits him. _Harvey’s voice_. He’d hear Harvey’s voice if he called him. When he lost his hearing, he quickly stopped thinking about people’s voices simply because he stopped being able to imagine what people sounded like. So he never thought about Harvey’s voice but now he can again, now he’s heard Rachel and Donna’s voices, he can try to imagine again. Given Harvey’s appearance and the way he carries himself, Mike imagines his voice to be deep. Also, he’s never had any trouble reading Harvey’s lips so he must speak very clearly. He’d need a commanding voice for his job. Yeah, Mike’s pretty sure that’s how Harvey’s voice sounds and he knows he’s going to like it. He could call him now, though he’s not sure he can hear well enough to carry a telephone conversation, he still reads people’s lips (out of habit and because he still needs to) and with no visual whatsoever, he doesn’t know if he could understand everything.

Keeping the object of the surgery and its outcome from Harvey sounds ridiculous right now, as he wolfs down his meal, and he probably would have told him to come visit him if it wasn’t for the horrible headaches ruining his mood and well, his life at the moment. He doesn’t want to burden Harvey, doesn’t want Harvey to see him like this, he hates when people regard him with pity. And he’s seen too much of it since he woke up from surgery. In Rachel and Donna’s eyes, in the different nurses’ eyes, even in Dr. d’Alliet’s. So, even if he can’t wait to see Harvey again, even if the reasons for keeping him out of the whole thing don’t particularly make sense right now, he’s going to stand his ground. He asked Harvey for a week and, hopefully, he’ll feel better in a week. _Hopefully_ …

 

 

Alex is uncharastically on time, Harvey’s doorman calls him at exactly 7:30 to let him know that a guest is coming up. Since coming home, Harvey’s had time to take a long nap, to do some cleaning (not that his condo needed any of it) and to go grocery shopping for the upcoming week. Cooking for Liz and Paul has made him want to try other recipes from his mom’s notebook, and if he’s going to spend every upcoming evening alone, he might as well keep himself busy with something he loves to do. As he put away the fresh vegetables and other groceries, he realized with horror that he had unconsciously expected to spend all his evenings with Mike. Which is exactly what he swore to himself he would never want again…

Alex and him order byriani, momos and pani puri from their favorite Indian place and settle on the balcony with a bottle of wine.

What’s nice with a long time friend, or an ex in that case, is that you don’t need introductions, you don’t need the whole what-have-you-been-up-to conversation, you don’t even need a topic, the conversation just starts, effortless and easy. Alex and Harvey have had plenty of those never-ending, oh-my-god-it’s-already-midnight nights, in the apartment they used to share. So it comes to no surprise to either of them when midnight rolls around. They mostly talked about Alex’s father and it turns out he’s doing good, they’ve managed to kill most of the cancer cells with radiotherapy and apart from the pain he experiences in the process, he’s expected to make a full recovery.

They finally moved back inside around 11 as it was getting a little chilly out there.

“I ran into Stephen at the store the other day.”, Alex says, finishing his tumbler of scotch. It’s always been their favorite drink. “He told me Donna’s found someone.”

“Yeah…”, Harvey confirms with a nod. “Her name’s Rachel. She’s a nice girl.”

“And also a lawyer if I remember correctly.”

“Yep, she’s pretty young, though, she’s still a baby lawyer.”, Harvey can’t help a yawn, and he wonders what else Stephen told Alex.

“I should go.”, Alex announces, looking down at his watch. “Thanks for being there tonight, I really needed it.”, he smiles gratefully.

“No problem, I had a nice time and I’m glad I could help.”, Harvey smiles back and gets up.

He’s about turn around and walk Alex back to the door when Alex grabs his waist and pulls him flush against him.

“Harvey…”, he whispers, his lips brushing Harvey’s.

“Alex, no.”, Harvey takes a small step back and shakes his head. “We can’t, I… We’ve had too much to drink and-“

“Since when is it a problem?”, Alex snorts and closes the distance between them. “Come on…”

“I’m seeing someone.”, Harvey drops and Alex’s expression turns into one of deep hurt.

“Oh.”, he purses his lips. “Wow, you wasted no time!”

Harvey looks away and sighs. He didn’t want to tell Alex, especially not tonight where he was supposed to give him support but he had no choice. And of course now Alex’s looking at him like Harvey just confessed to cheating on him.

“It’s been over a year, Alex.”, he tries to argue.

Alex shakes his head and huffs bitterly.

“Do I know her, him?”, he asks.

“Alex, please…”, Harvey replies because he doesn’t want to lie to him.

“Okay, is it someone from our, sorry, _your_ friends? Is it Lucy?” He’s always been very jealous of her.

“No, it’s not Lucy.”, Harvey replies. “Look Alex, I don’t want to talk about him with you. Go home.”, he adds, hoping Alex didn’t notice the clue he involuntarily just gave him.

Alex folds his arms across his chest and doesn’t move an inch, and Harvey knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s reviewing the people, the men, they both know and Harvey knows him, he’s not going to leave until he knows who he’s seeing. What he doesn’t expect is Alex finding out on his own.

“Is it Mike Ross?”, Alex asks after a moment.

“What?!”, Harvey swallows, _how the hell does he know?_

“I visited your Facebook page, or what’s visible of it…”, he continues. “… and it said we had 5 friends in common. One of them was Mike.”, he raises an expectant eyebrow and Harvey has to look away. “Oh my god it’s him!”, Alex shakes his head and rubs his face. “That little bastard! I fucking gave him a job. Well, next time you talk to him, tell him he’s fired!”

“Come on, Alex, you can’t do that, it’s has nothing to do with him!”, Harvey protests. “He didn’t know who you were when he first met you! You liked his work when he met with you and Eleanor, you can’t fire him because we’re dating! You’re overreacting!”

“Oh, _I_ ’m overreacting?”, Alex laughs. “You should see your face, Harv’! And you should be careful, because caring only results in wrinkles and grey hair and _god knows_ you hate them.”, he mocks and walks to the rack where he discarded his jacket earlier. “The hell I can’t fire him!”, he huffs. “I’m wondering why you chose him, though…”, he turns around and narrows his eyes at Harvey. “What is it? I didn’t know you had an underage kink.”, he raises an eyebrow. “Or maybe it’s the handicap. Yeah, that’s it! You have a thing for the poor little ugly duckl-“

“Shut up, Alex.”, Harvey threatens.

“What? Are you uncomfortable talking about him? You’re ashamed of him?”, Alex smiles wickedly.

“I said shut up, Alex!”, Harvey repeats. “And get out, _now_!”

“Do you take him out on dates or are you too embarrassed by-“, Alex begins to ask but he gets shut up by a fist landing on his jaw.

“I said shut up.”, Harvey says through greeted teeth.

Alex’s nostrils flare as he massages his sore jaw, his defiant gaze fixed on Harvey.

“Sorry.”, Harvey sighs and rubs his forehead. “Sorry… I didn’t want to hit you but…”

“I hope this little…”, Alex purses his lips and exhales deeply through his nose. “I hope he knows what he’s getting himself into. And I’ll make sure he does when I call him to fire him. Eleanor told me he sent her an email to say he was taking a sick leave. After barely a fucking week of working for us!”, he snorts. “That’s enough grounds for firing or I don’t know what is.”

“Don’t fire him, Alex, he’s done nothing wrong and you know it.”, Harvey says, trying to remain calm. “Firing him for being sick would be illegal, and you know that too. You’re tired and you’re mad at me, please don’t take this on Mike.”

“I’ll do whatever I want, Harv’, you can’t tell me what to do anymore, we’re divorced, _remember_?”, Alex pushes the elevator button.

Harvey shakes his head with a sigh and walks back to the living room. There’s nothing more to say right now, Alex is mad and he’s had hundreds of fights with him, he knows it could go on for hours and he still wouldn’t be able to make him see reason.

“Don’t worry.”, Alex says when the elevator cabin opens. “I won’t bother you again.”

Harvey doesn’t turn around, he waits for the elevator doors to close on Alex before letting out a long, loud and frustrated sigh.

“Seriously?”, he chuckles dumbfoundedly, looking around his empty condo and running a hand in his hair.

 _What the hell just happened_? He was supposed to have a nice evening with Alex, he was supposed to help him feel better, laugh with him, reassure him about his father. They were supposed to eat their favorite food and maybe make peace with their past. And Alex was supposed to go home feeling lighter and thinking that maybe they could stay friends. He definitely wasn’t supposed to find out about Mike and storm out of here with the threat to fire him. He’s not sure Alex will follow up on his threat. Alex is a drama queen and he throws big words around all the time when he’s mad, usually coming back hours later to apologize. Plus, he knows he can’t fire Mike on those grounds.

 _What a way to fuck up a great day_ , he thinks, putting away the leftovers and dishes. He should warn Mike in case Alex does call him, he should tell him to erase the voicemail before asking anyone to listen to it for him. Alex has a business partner, he can’t make that call alone anyway.

“ _Hey. I just had dinner with Alex. If he tries to contact you, ignore him. He’s mad because he figured out about us. Don’t worry about it, though, I’m handling it. Have a good night. xoxo_ ”

 _Handling it_ … not really. He’ll figure something out. Right now he’s going to sleep on it and hopefully tomorrow will be a calmer day. _Hopefully…_

 

 

“My dad fell in love with you.”, Donna says as they climb in the car after one last wave at Donna’s parents standing on the porch of their town house. “Um, that sounded weird, I agree.”, she chuckles when Rachel turns to her with a smile. “But he did, he really did. He told me when I helped him with the dessert in the kitchen.”, she explains, starting the engine. “He’s not the kind of man to show his emotions and he never comments on any of his daughter’s partners.”

“Well then, I’m flattered.”, Rachel blushes. “I loved your parents, they’re very much like mine. I didn’t expect them to… um… I mean…”

“You didn’t think I came from money, is that it?”, Donna offers with a playful smile.

“Yeah.”, Rachel replies. “But that explains why my parents liked you so much, you’re got perfect manners.”

“You mum hates me.”, Donna snorts.

“No she doesn’t.”,  Rachel sighs. “I talked to her on the phone yesterday, she wanted to know how Mike was doing and she asked me about you too.”

“Speaking of Mike, have you heard from him since we left the hospital?”

“No… He didn’t reply to my text. But I’m guessing he had dinner and went straight back to sleep.”, she sighs. “I know I shouldn’t have texted Harvey, it was none of my business but-“

“You did the right thing, okay?”, Donna assures her and places a hand on Rachel’s thigh when they stop at a red light. “Harvey was ecstatic when he got your text, I was with him. He would have freaked out if he hadn’t heard from Mike and I can guarantee it would have been ugly. When Harvey freaks out, he _freaks out_.”, she articulates exaggeratingly.

“Maybe…”, Rachel shrugs. “I guess I was afraid he was avoiding Harvey on purpose. And if he was, I really fucked it up and Mike has every right to be mad at me. I’d hate it if he dug his nose in our relationship.”

“Of course! But he also probably would have done the same. You two are very close and I know I said you should let them figure this out, but your intentions were good. He just needs time to realize that. I’m sure he’ll forgive you.”, Donna says in a soothing voice.

“He’s having a CT tomorrow morning, hopefully they figure out what it is that’s causing his headaches…”, Rachel exhales sharply. “I can’t stand to see him like this.”

“I know, princess…”, Donna sighs. “I know…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm [SoSauffie](http://sosauffie.tumblr.com) on tumblr!


	24. Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, I'm going to stop saying this is the last chapter because, once again, it's not. The end is near, but we're not quite there yet (I basically still need to figure it out).  
> It's a shorter chapter than usual, but it should still feed your appetite hehe (hopefully...)  
> I've had it in my head since I left home for my holidays but I was waiting for the right moment to include it in the story.  
> Thanks a lot for the reviews, please know that each and every one of your comments (short or long) is greatly appreciated. Every time I get an email notification for a comment, I literally shriek with happiness. You're the most amazing readers and commenters ever and I feel so lucky that I'm able to share this story with you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You and your words of encouragement and awesome inputs are a very important part of this fic.  
> Hope you like this new chapter and the way things are ending. As always, sound off in the comments!  
> <3

When Mike opens his eyes, his head surprisingly doesn’t hurt at all. Not even a small sting, nothing. He blinks twice at the silhouette he spots standing by the window, its back turned to him. _Harvey_.

“Harvey?”, he tries to say but his voice croaks in his throat.

“Hey.”, Harvey turns around and the corners of his lips curl up into a small smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “How are you?”, he asks, walking to the bed.

He’s wearing a dark gray three-piece suit and though he looks perfectly put as usual, his cheeks appear a bit sunken in the morning light. He looks tired.

“Better. Thanks.”, Mike replies. “What are you doing here? I mean-”

“I need to talk to you.”

Mike moves to sit up and watches as Harvey grabs a chair before placing it next to the bed. Harvey’s voice sounds a bit hollow, it’s even deeper than what Mike expected, it resonates in the room and Mike would be ecstatic to finally hear it if his mind wasn’t busy waking up and trying to come to terms with the weird cottony atmosphere filling the room.

“I’m glad you’re doing better.”, Harvey says, his eyes wandering around the room as if looking for something in particular. “Donna told me everything.”, he says, eventually locking eyes with Mike.

“She did?”, Mike licks his lips. “I-“

“Please.”, Harvey holds up a shushing hand. “I’m going to have to leave shortly and I need to talk to you first.”, he swallows hard and Mike’s heart suddenly starts jumping in his chest.

Harvey looks upset, or sad, or maybe both. He didn’t sit on the bed, barely smiled at him, hasn’t made any physical contact. _There’s something wrong_.

“So yeah, Donna told me everything.”, Harvey nods. “I didn’t even ask for it, she called me yesterday evening and told me all about your surgery and the headaches. I’m really happy for you, happy that you can hear.”, he smiles the fakest and tightest smile Mike’s ever seen. “I haven’t slept that much last night and, um… I’ve given the situation a lot of thought. I want to know why you didn’t want to tell me.”

Mike looks down at his shaky hands and inhales deeply through his nose.

“I didn’t want people to feel bad for me in case it didn’t work.”, he replies. “Especially you.”

“Fair enough.”, Harvey quickly replies. “But you knew it was a success, you knew it right away and you still didn’t let me know. You still didn’t ask to see me.”

“I know…”, Mike looks up and sighs apologetically. “I wanted to c-“

“You didn’t.”, Harvey cuts him rather sharply. “I don’t care that you wanted to, Mike, _you didn’t._ ”, he gets up. “The first thought that went through my mind when Donna told me was ‘ _Wow, he must be so happy right now_.’ but then I realized that, well, you didn’t seem to want to share your happiness with me.”, he states and cuts Mike’s forming protest with a threatening finger. “You were going to wait a whole week to tell me. Come to think of it, maybe you weren’t planning on telling me at all!”, he snorts.

“No, I was going to tell you but then I got these terrible headaches and-“

“And what? Only Donna and Rachel were allowed to know what you were going through?”, Harvey purses his lips. “I told you to reach out for me, anytime. Bad or good. That’s what people in a relationship do, isn’t it?”

Mike is completely taken aback by the bitterness he can hear in Harvey’s voice, the scorn he can read all over his face. Being able to hear again is a double-edged sword. Communicating gets a lot easier when you have two sources of information instead of just one, but on the other hand, in situations like these, being able to hear the disappointment, the hurt, the anger as well as seeing it is an even bigger slap in the face.

“Harvey, I’m sorry…”, he gulps. “I wanted to tell you, I almost called you last night.”, he nods enthusiastically while trying to hold Harvey’s glare. “I couldn’t wait to hear your voice, I wanted to deliver the good news but I’m not… I wasn’t completely well and I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

“You really don’t trust me at all, do you?”, Harvey shakes his head.

“No, I do!”, Mike protests, moving to kneel up. “I do, it’s just…”, he winces as he feels the familiar buzzing emerge against his temples. “I wanted to be okay for you, I wanted to be fine.”

“You should have let me know what was going on, Mike.”, Harvey grabs the chair and carries it back to its original spot. “I would have understood, I would have been there for you.”, he shoots Mike a pointed look. “But instead, you chose to keep it all away from me.”

“I know and I’m sorry.”, Mike rubs his nose to keep the tears at bay. Now’s not the time to break down. It would only worsen the headache.

Harvey turns back around and walks to the window.

“I told you I had dinner with Alex yesterday, right?”, he asks. “We’re divorced, we’ve been separated for a year and still…”, he turns to Mike and cocks his head to one side. “… I’m the one he called because he needed to unwind.”, he raises a accusatory eyebrow. “Meanwhile, you, the person I’m supposed to be in a relationship with, are going through a life-changing procedure and you don’t even _text_ me?”

Unable to hold back the tears any longer, Mike lets two warm drops roll down his cheeks. He doesn’t know what to reply to that, he doesn’t have a valid explanation. He screwed up, pure and simple.

“I need to go.”, Harvey looks at his watch. “Bye, Mike.”

“Harvey, wait!”, Mike jumps off the bed and grabs Harvey’s arm. “Please, stay…”

“I don’t have time for this, Mike.”, Harvey shakes his head and quickly disentangles himself from Mike’s hold. “It might all be new for you, but I’ve been there, done that, and frankly, I don’t need the hassle right now.”

“Harvey!”, Mike shouts, watching helplessly, as Harvey marches out of the room. “Harvey! Harvey, _please_!”

There’s music coming from the corridor, a violin or some stringed instrument. It’s not loud and it sounds nice and soothing. It clashes violently with the storm going on in his heart and mind at this moment. “Harvey…”

“Mike?”

“Harvey…”

“Mike, open your eyes. Mike, open your eyes for me please.”

It’s Dr. d’Alliet’s voice. He knows it, he’s heard it before. Why is she asking him to open his eyes? Why is it suddenly so dark?

“Mike.”

He does what he’s told and when he opens his eyes, he’s lying in his bed, Dr. d’Alliet is looking down at him and the music’s still playing. _Definitely a violin_.

“Mike, are you okay?”, she asks, grabbing his wrist to check his pulse.

“Where’s Harvey?”, he asks, snatching his hand away.

“Harvey was here?”, Dr. d’Alliet asks with a fond smile. “Then I guess I just missed him.”, she chuckles.

Mike props himself on his elbows and looks around the room. The curtains are half closed and the sky appears to be pretty grey outside. On the coffee table in the lounge area is a small speaker plugged to an iPod.

“I thought I’d try to wake you up with some nice music.”, Dr. d’Alliet says when he turns to her with a frown. “Can you hear it?”

“Yes.”, Mike replies. “What time is it?”

“Too early for anybody to have been here to visit you.”, she replies with a knowing smile. “Besides, you just woke up.” _Thank fucking god_ it was all just a dream. Or rather a nightmare. “How’s your head doing?”, she asks.

“Okay.”, Mike replies. “But I can feel it, it’s coming back…”, he sighs.

“I’ve booked an exam room for 10:30 and I’m afraid I won’t be able to give you anything until then, I need you to be in pain while I perform the CT.”, she explains. “That’s how I’ll know what’s going on in there.”, she gently pokes him on the head with a fond smile.

“Okay…”, Mike sighs. “Am I allowed to eat?”

“Of course. I’ll have the nurse get you something.”, she replies and checks her watch. “I’ll be back in about two hours. Should I let the music on?”, she asks.

“Yes, please, I like it.”, Mike replies.

Dr. d’Alliet nods with a smile and leaves the room.

Mike slowly relaxes, thanks to the music and the doctor’s kindness. _Thank god it was a dream_. But it seemed so real, so plausible. He grabs his phone and swallows thickly when sees an unopened text from Harvey before heaving a long and loud relieved sigh upon reading it. Harvey’s not angry.

He types a quick reply and rereads it four times before sending it.

_“I had a great night, hope the rest of your day goes well. Miss you. xoxo”_

Now he should get up and shower before the headaches makes it impossible for him to leave his bed. He hasn’t showered or even brushed his teeth since Saturday night…

 

 

After a sexy morning make out session, Rachel and Donna have breakfast together in a café across the street from the courthouse where Donna is spending most of the day for a jury selection. They exchange a quick kiss on the sidewalk and Rachel climbs into a cab. She still hasn’t heard from Mike despite texting him before going to bed yesterday and this morning when she woke up. Maybe his phone is dead? Maybe he’s not feeling well? Or maybe he’s simply still mad at her and deliberately ignoring her. She’s having lunch with her mum and they’re supposed to visit him afterwards, maybe she’ll let her mum go on her own…

 

 

Much earlier that Tuesday morning, on the other side of the city, Harvey wakes up in a sour mood and, of course, nothing in his two-decade old morning routine goes as planned. He finds himself out of coffee _and_ orange juice (which is particularly frustrating because he went grocery shopping yesterday), he stains his grey pants with black shoe shine and has to change his entire outfit and, last but not least, a stubborn strand of hair categorically refuses to lay down with the rest of his gelled up do. After one last try which ends up in a total disaster (to Harvey, no one else will notice), he gives up and angrily texts Ray to make sure he’s on time before proceeding to gather his computer and personal stuff in his briefcase.

A reply from Ray comes a minute later telling him he’s going to be late. Of _fucking_ course.

 _“I’ll take a cab. Thanks”_ he texts back.

Harvey usually doesn’t text Ray to check on him, but he knows these bad days, these days where nothing goes right, and he had a feeling his driver would be no exception. Indeed, on top of it all, he has to take a smelly cab to work. _Great_. Oh, he could take his car, but he has a bad feeling about it too. Besides, his workday starts in the ride to work, where he checks his emails and makes some calls, things he can’t do if he’s behind the wheel.  

_“Hey. I hope you had a good night and that your day started well (mine didn’t). Have a great day. xoxo”_

He slides his phone in his suit pants and leaves his apartment, not at all ready for all the other things he knows are going to go wrong today. Hopefully Ethan won’t be late and he’ll have his usual grande morning coffee ready when he arrives at Pearson Specter.

 

The cab ride wasn’t so bad after all, the cabbie was friendly and almost managed to make up for some of the delay all the morning disasters had caused. He gets a good tip for that.

Harvey hesitates to grab a coffee when he passes by the cart just before entering the building but he decides to trust fate, well, Ethan. He read something about positive thinking once, that when you really want something to happen, you can actually make it happen by thinking. And he prefers his usual Starbucks anyway.

Unfortunately, when he reaches Ethan’s cubicle, the young man automatically jumps up on his feet and holds up a finger:

“I’m really sorry, Mr. Specter, but Starbucks was closed due to a mechanical problem so I couldn’t get your coffee.”, the young man says with an apologetic grimace.

“Okay…”, Harvey pinches the bridge of his nose and inhales deeply. “Call Ray, ask him to meet you here as soon as he can and get me a freaking grande quad nonfat one pump no whip mocha.”, he orders in one breath. “And make it quick.”, he adds, entering his office.

“On it.”, Ethan clears his throat and nods, the phone receiver already stuck to his ear.

Harvey takes off his jacket, throws it on the couch and walks to his desk before slumping into his chair.

When his office phone rings, he looks up to see that Ethan’s already gone, meaning he has to pick it up.

“Hello.”, he says, trying his hardest not to sigh.

“Good morning, Sir, may I please speak to Harvey Specter?”, a female voice asks politely.

“Speaking.”, Harvey straightens up.

“Oh, hi, Harvey, it’s Eleanor.”, the voice announces cheerfully. “Corey. Alex’s partner.”, she adds when Harvey doesn’t react.

“Oh, right!”, Harvey exclaims. “Sorry, Eleanor. Good morning, how are you?”

“I’m doing good, thank you.”, Eleanor replies. “I’m sorry to bother you so early in the morning but I had an interesting conversation with Alex a couple of minutes ago and I was wondering if you could help me understand what’s going on.”, she chuckles.

“What was it about?”, Harvey asks, though he knows exactly what.

“Well, he asked me to email Mike Ross, our newly hired photographer, to tell him he’s fired.”, she explains. “And when I asked Alex why I would want to do that, he said I should ask you.”

Harvey heaves out a loud sigh and rubs his forehead. This day definitely sucks.

“Well, I don’t know what to say, Eleanor.”, he replies. “What else did he tell you?”

“Nothing, that’s the point.”, she replies and she doesn’t sound amused anymore. “He wouldn’t tell me anything. His answer to each of my questions was _ask Harvey_.”

“I’m afraid I can’t help you.”, Harvey says. “I don’t think I’m in any position to confirm the firing of one of your employees.”, he huffs. “So unless you need advice on legal grounds for firing, I would advise you to have a serious talk with your business partner.”

“Harvey, please.”, Eleanor sighs.

“I’m sorry, Eleanor.”, Harvey shakes his head. “I know how difficult Alex can be to deal with sometimes but he’ll come around eventually. In the meantime, I suggest you don’t fire that guy until Alex gives you the ins and outs of the issue because if you do fire him and the guy chooses to sue you for wrongful termination, it could potentially cost you _a lot_ of money.” _Especially since he’s disabled_ , he wants to add but he doesn’t. Eleanor is a smart woman, she can figure it out on her own.

“Alright. I guess I’ll wait, then.”, Eleanor sighs. “Thank you, Harvey. It was nice talking to you.”

“Me too, Eleanor. Have a good day.”

Harvey didn’t think Alex would follow up on his threat and certainly not after a good night’s sleep.

“Knock, knock.”

“Hey, Donna…”, he mutters.

“Where’s your assistant?”, Donna asks with a surprised look. “The front desk’s been trying to call his phone for the last three minutes. They resorted to calling me since it wouldn’t answer.”

“He’s running errands for me.”, Harvey replies with an exasperated sigh. “What’s going on?”

“Travis Tanner is here to see you.”, Donna replies with an apologetic look.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me!”, Harvey slams his fist on the glass desk. “It’s not even 8:30 and I’m already fucking done with this day!”

“O.Kay…”, Donna articulates theatrically. “What’s wrong?”, she asks, walking in the office and closing the door behind her.

“Everything.”, Harvey replies, rubbing his face. “What does he want? Tanner?”

“I have no idea, Harvey. What’s going on, do you want talk about it?”

“No, I’d rather not. I need to calm down.”, he gets up and walks to the window. “Could you have your assistant tell Tanner I’ll meet him in 10 minutes in conference room C?”, he asks.

“Sure.”, Donna nods. “I’m here if you need to talk.”, she adds before grabbing the door handle.

“I know.”, he sighs. “Thanks, Don’.”

 

 

“Are you okay?”, Dr. d’Alliet bends forward and asks.

Mike is lying on the narrow, motorized table of the CT scan, waiting for the exam to begin.

“Yeah.”, he replies with a short nod. His head hurts like hell, so much in fact that he finds it hard to keep his eyes open. But he’s here to find out why he’s in pain, he needs to suck it up.

“Okay, I’m going to go back in the computer room where I’ll be able to hear you and talk to you. Let me know if there’s anything wrong, okay?”

Mike nods again and inhales deeply.

“I will need you to remain completely still until the exam is over.”, she repeats for what feels like the hundredth time and Mike breathes out a weak _yes_ before closing his eyes.

He’s had a CT scan just last week so he knows exactly what he’s supposed to do, what to expect. Rachel was in the room with him then, holding his hand the whole time and, though he’s still a bit mad at her for texting Harvey, he wishes she were there today. Since he kicked her and Donna out of his room, Rachel has sent him two text messages to which he hasn’t replied yet. First because he wants her to know he’s still mad and second because he’s tired of saying that yeah, he’s fine except for the migraines.

That’s exactly why he didn’t want to tell anybody. He doesn’t want people to worry about him, at least not more than most of them normally do. Dr. d’Alliet had said he’d be back on his feet in a week and when he decided to stay off the radar for seven days, he didn’t think it would be such a big deal. Yet, his friends keep messaging him on Facebook, texting him, they’re all worried about him. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything instead of posting a cryptic “ _Bye guys, be back in a week_ ” on his profile. Or maybe he should have told everybody the good news.

Harvey’s words from his dream come back to his mind and he can’t help but think that they mean something, that this nightmare means something. His subconscious is trying to tell him something.

“Alright, Mike.”, Dr. d’Alliet voice echoes in the room but Mike doesn’t hear it, he’s too absorbed in his thoughts. “Mike? Mike!”

“Yeah!”, his head jerks up. “Sorry.”, he says, realizing he wasn’t supposed to move. _Fuck_ , his head hurts.

“It’s okay.”, Dr. d’Alliet enters the exam room and smiles. “You can move now. Didn’t you hear me the first time around?”, she asks, helping him to sit up.

“No… I mean, I wasn’t paying attention, sorry…”, he blushes.

“It’s okay.”, she smiles again and motions for him to get off the exam table and back in the wheelchair he came here with. “Let’s go back to your room first and then I’ll tell you what I’ve found.”

Mike doesn’t have to strength to object and ask for an immediate explanation, or an immediate dose of painkillers. His head is spinning from the short trip he took to walk from the table to the wheelchair and once again, he finds it hard to keep his eyes open.

He lets the doctor push him back to his room and gladly accept the help of the nurse who almost has to carry him to his bed.

“First of all, everything is fine as far as your ear is concerned.”, Dr. d’Alliet says, handing him a glass of water and 4 pink pills he swallows down rapidly. “What’s causing the headaches is a mass of blood putting pressure on your inner ear.”, she explains with weird gestures. “It’s like a bruise, an hematoma that must have appeared during or right after the surgery.”

“Okay…”, Mike nods expectantly.

“The good news is it’s going to resolve itself over time. The bad news is that there’s no way of knowing when.”, she makes an apologetic face. “The inner ear is mostly responsible for sound detection and balance. Which means that the hematoma might cause dizziness as well as the headaches, so I suggest you stay in bed for the time being. But it also mean that your hearing might improve once it’s gone.”, she smiles.

“How long could it take to disappear? What if it never does?”, Mike asks.

“It will, just like a bruise, it will eventually disappear. But it could take up to… say a month.”, she replies and Mike lets out a painful whine. “The intensity of the headaches will slowly decrease as the hematoma shrinks.”, she adds, grabbing his hand. “I know it’s hard and I’m sorry it happened but you’re going to feel better soon. I promise.”, she squeezes his hand.

Mike looks away and swallows hard. It was supposed to take a week, not a month… He doesn’t know if he can go on like this, with no other option than to sleep the days away because he’s in pain and can’t function properly when he’s awake.

“Hang in there, Mike.”, the doctor smiles and lets go of his hand. “Get some rest, I’ll come check on you this afternoon, okay?”

“Yeah…”, he whispers.

“Are you hungry? It’s not noon yet, but I can have something fixed for you if you’re hungry.”

“I’m okay, thank you…”

_I’m not okay. I just want to be left alone._

“See you later.”, Dr. d’Alliet leaves the room, shutting the door behind her.

 

 

Harvey’s been reading the same page for 45 minutes.

Turns out Travis Tanner’s biggest client is suing one of Harvey’s biggest clients for intellectual property. He’s come ready with an offer and that’s the paper Harvey’s been pretending to consider for the last 45 minutes. He’s pretty upset because his client didn’t warn him about the lawsuit so he didn’t have time to prepare and he hates getting blindsided, especially by Travis.

“Harvey, come on…”, Travis rolls his eyes and sighs exaggeratingly. “I don’t have all day, I’ve been here since 9!”

“So what?”, Harvey huffs. “Poor Travis is hungry? Go ahead, leave, I’m not deciding anything until I talk to my client anyway.”, he shakes his head and rolls his eyes when he spots his assistant waving behind the glass wall of the conference room.

“He’s kinda cute.”, Travis chuckles, following Harvey’s gaze. “Is he your type?”

“Everybody’s my type.”, Harvey replies, angrily motioning for Ethan to go the hell back to his desk. It’s a very important meeting, and though he’s not going to make any decision today, strategically speaking he needs to leave it with the upper hand. And he still hasn’t figured out how he’s going to do this. Hence the extensive duration of it. “Not that it’s any of your concern anyway.”, he adds. “So.”, he straightens up. “I can’t speak for my client but I’m pretty sure he’s not going to be impressed with the little trick you’re trying to pull.”

“You know you’re legally obligated to present this offer to him, right Harv’?”, Travis raises an eyebrow.

“I know exactly what I’m supposed to do, Tanner, thank you.”, he replies and pinches the bridge of his nose when he notices that Ethan is still waiting for him in the corridor. “What, Ethan?”, he calls with a pointed look.

His assistant takes it as his cue to enter the room.

“I’m really sorry to bother you, Mr. Specter but one Rachel Zane is on the phone, she’s been trying to reach you on your cell, she says she needs to talk to you.”

“Now?”, Harvey sighs.

“Yes, she says it’s urgent.”, Ethan nods jerkily. “Line 7.”, he adds, pointing at the phone at the center of the conference table.

“Thank you, Ethan.”, Harvey gestures towards the door and picks up the receiver. “Rachel.”, he says, spinning on his chair so his back is turned to Travis.

“Thank god, Harvey!”, Rachel exclaims. “Thank you for taking my call. You need to come to the hospital, Mike’s hysterical, he’s asking that you-“

“What? What’s going on?”, Harvey’s heart skips a beat.

“I can’t explain right now but he needs to see you now.”, Rachel replies and the desperation in her voice makes him shiver.

“Alright.”, he clears his throat. “I’ll be right there.”, he nods to himself and hangs up the phone. “You’re free to go, Tanner.”, he announces. “I’ll call you once I’ve consulted with my client.”

“Is everything alright?”, Travis asks with genuine concern.

“Yes.”, Harvey nods and rushes out of the room.

 _Fuck this day_. He thought he’d had bad days before, but surely, nothing compares to this fucking Tuesday.

“Call Ray!”, he orders, running along the corridor to his office. “I don’t care what he’s doing or where he is, I need him waiting for me downstairs in 5 minutes!”

Ethan nods rapidly and picks up the phone.

Harvey shuts down his computer and hesitates for a second before deciding not to take it with him, he has no idea what’s going on with Mike or how long he’s going to be gone from the office-

“Ray will be here in 10 minutes.”, Ethan interrupts his train of thought. “You have two meetings this afternoon, what should I do?”, he asks.

This is why Harvey likes working with him so much, why he doesn’t want anybody but him, Ethan gets him. He didn’t even have to ask, he knew by the look on Harvey’s face that it was important, that he probably would be gone for the rest of the day. And he doesn’t ask any questions.

“Please have them rescheduled, tell them it’s a family emergency.”, Harvey replies without thinking. “I’ll keep you posted. Thank you.”

“Okay.”, Ethan nods. “I hope your brother is okay.”, he adds before walking back to his desk.

 _Of course_ , Harvey thinks. Who else could it be? Ethan knows he’s not really close to his father and he knows his mum passed away a year before he started working for Harvey.

Harvey takes one last glance at his office and grabs his cell phone.

He all but runs to the elevator, despite his knowing that Ray won’t be there yet.

“Harvey?”, Donna runs after him to the elevators. “Where are you rushing to?”

“The hospital.”, Harvey answers gravely as he pushes the elevator call button. “Rachel called me, there’s something going on with Mike.”

“What?!”, Donna shrieks. “She didn’t tell me.”

“She was panicked, she said Mike asked to see me, she wouldn’t tell me anything else.”

Donna purses her lips and looks away. Maybe something happened during the night? Maybe the results of the CT he was supposed to undergo this morning aren’t good? At least she can think of a few options, she can’t imagine what must be going on through Harvey’s mind at the moment considering he doesn’t know _anything_ about Mike’s situation.

“I’m going to give her call.”, she says. “Hurry up.”, she points at the open cabin.

“Bye.”, Harvey waves timidly and disappears behind the sliding doors.

His phone buzzes in his pocket and he sighs in relief when he reads Ray’s text message.

“ _I made it faster than I thought, I’m here.”_

Thank god he’s surrounded himself with the most efficient people ever, he thinks, running across the lobby to the revolving door.

“Morning, Ray.”, he greets his driver, who moves to open the door for him.

“Morning, Harvey. So sorry about this morning, I-“

“It’s okay, Ray.”, Harvey climbs in the car and smiles.

“Where to?”, Ray quickly walks around the car back to the driver seat.

“St Francis hospital.”

Just like Ethan, Ray doesn’t ask questions, he enters the address in the GSP and starts the engine.

Harvey exhales heavily through his nose and lets his head fall against the headrest. Closing his eyes, he tries to relax, tries to get his heart rate to slow down a bit. He should be happy to be seeing Mike, happy that Mike called him. But the conversation he had with Rachel keeps replaying in his mind and he can’t help but fear the worst. “ _You need to come to the hospital, Mike’s hysterical…_ ” “ _I can’t explain right now but he needs to see you now._ ” He should have asked Donna, she would have told him what was going on. Did something go wrong with his surgery? Rachel sounded desperate, he can’t imagine the state Mike must be in.

“Music?”, Ray asks, bringing him back to reality. “I’m afraid we’re going to be stuck in traffic…”, he adds, pointing at the GPS screen showing a red-colored itinerary.

“Please.”, Harvey replies, rubbing his face. Maybe the music will help him relax, maybe it will help him forget about the shitty day he’s having.

 

 

Mike wakes up and clears his throat, choosing to keep his eyes closed for the moment. His head feels heavy but it doesn’t hurt per se. The room is quiet, the only noise he can hear are the ones coming from outside the door, from the people coming and going in the corridor. He realizes with satisfaction that he can hear those steps and chatters quite well despite the fact that he’s lying on his side with his good ear buried in the pillow.

He swallows thickly through his dry throat as reality slowly kicks back in. He remembers being in unbearable pain, he remembers asking the nurse for more painkillers and the nurse telling him she couldn’t give him more as he’d had a pretty strong dose an hour ago. He remembers the nurse paging Dr. d’Alliet. He remembers Rachel coming in the room with her mum, he remembers telling them to do something. Then he remembers being given something through a needle. The last thing he remembers is feeling like he was going to die and begging Rachel to call Harvey. Obviously, what they gave him worked, it put him to sleep but it worked. He doesn’t hurt right now, he feels a bit groggy and stiffed but he can’t sense any of the familiar signs announcing the migraine.

He weakly moves a hand up to rub his face but it bumps into something he recognizes as a nose, causing his eyes to jerk open in surprise.

“Hey.”

It’s the smallest of words, one tiny syllable, one very _very_ short sound and yet, that’s all it takes to open the floodgates. _Harvey’s voice_. Maybe it’s just another dream but Mike doesn’t care. Harvey’s lying in his bed, a couple of inches away from him and he’s smiling.

“You came.”, Mike whispers as the tears quickly gather up in his eyes.

“Of course I did.”, Harvey chuckles. “I told you I would.”

 _Harvey’s voice_. It’s not as deep as Mike thought, it’s not as commanding. It’s actually kind of sweet, kind of warm, as if the walls of his throat were coated with honey.

“How are you feeling?”, Harvey asks, gently wiping Mike’s tears with a thumb.

“Better.”, Mike sobs.

Yeah, he’s feeling better. It feels like his body weighs a ton and he’s still sleepy and yes, though he just woke up, he’s tired. But he’s better. A lot better now Harvey’s here.

“Good.”, Harvey smiles again and Mike wonders if someone (Rachel, Dr. d’Alliet?) told him what’s going on. If he knows he can hear.

“Thank you for coming…”, he cries, rubbing his nose. “I’m sorry I let you out of it, I’m-“

“Shhh.”, Harvey says and closes the space between them, bringing their lips together for a quick kiss. _Harvey’s not mad_. “Wanna tell me what happened?”, he asks, pulling away to make sure Mike can hear him, like he always does and that answers Mike’s question. _He doesn’t know._

“Not now…”, Mike sniffs. He has no idea how to break the news. “Not now.”, he repeats, burying his face in the warmth of Harvey’s neck. God he’s missed that smell. “Keep talking to me.”, he mumbles, closing his eyes.

“Uh…”, he hears the hesitation in Harvey’s voice. “What should I tell you?”, Harvey almost whispers, probably to himself.

“Anything…”, Mike replies. “Tell me about your day.”

Surprisingly, Harvey doesn’t seem to realize that Mike answered a question he hasn’t read on his lips and he begins to casually recount his day.

“It’s been a pretty shitty day…”, he sighs and pulls Mike closer. “For starters, I didn’t have any coffee left at my apartment and when I got to work, by cab since of course Ray was running late, Ethan told me he hadn’t bought my usual coffee because the shop was closed.”, he huffs and Mike giggles. “Then Travis Tanner, my least favorite person in the whole world showed up and-“, he stops dead. “Wait.”, he says and gently pulls away so he can see Mike. “Did you…”, he frowns and Mike can’t help a smirk. “Did you hear what I just said?”, he asks.

Mike nods as a grin starts spreading across his tired face.

Harvey opens his mouth to speak but closes it again. He studies Mike for a moment before moving to sit up on the bed.

After a long minute and because Harvey’s unreadable expression is starting to freak him out, Mike swallows hard and gathers every little ounce of strength he possesses to sit up against the headboard.

“This…”, he points at his right ear (which doesn’t have a bandage anymore, only a small piece of cotton stuffed in the ear canal) “… is why I’m here.”, he smiles expectantly.

Harvey’s eyes wander from Mike’s ear to his face but he still doesn’t speak, his lips are closed into a thin line and there’s a slight frown twitching his eyebrows.

“Please, Harvey…”, Mike says softly. “Say something.”

“I…”, Harvey finally opens his mouth and clears his throat. “I don’t know what to say. I…”, he licks his lips. “That’s… that’s _huge_!”, his face suddenly lights up and he covers his mouth with a hand before bursting into laugh.

 _Harvey’s not mad_. And he's got the most beautiful laugh.

“I know.”, Mike replies as the tears fill up his eyes again. Tears of joy, of relief, of guilt. “I didn’t want to tell you in case it wouldn’t work but-“

“So, that’s it?”, Harvey cuts him, seemingly not interested in Mike’s explanation. “You got surgery and now you can hear?”

“Pretty much, yes.”, Mike nods with a tentative smile. “They could only save my right ear, though, I still can’t hear from this one.”, he says, pointing at his left ear.

“Wow.”, Harvey whispers. “I didn’t even know that there was a way for you to hear again.”

“I didn’t either.”, Mike replies and he sighs frustratingly when his head starts spinning. “Hold on.”, he says and lies back down.

“Are you okay?”, Harvey asks worryingly.

“Yeah, just a bit dizzy.”, Mike replies, closing his eyes to stop the room from spinning around him. “When I got hit by the car last week…”, he continues, his eyes still shut. “… a doctor came to see me right before I was scheduled to be released. Dr. d’Alliet, that’s her name. She’s a true miracle worker. She examined me and told me she could make me hear again.”, he exhales deeply through his nose and opens his arms when he feels Harvey moving on the bed.

“I was actually going to the bathroom.”, Harvey chuckles and Mike opens his eyes just to be able to glare at him. “I’ll be right back.”, he winks and Mike’s heart flutters in his chest. How could he even think Harvey would be mad at him?

He turns his head to the door when he hears a soft knock.

“Come in.”, he says and clears his throat.

“You’re awake.”, Dr. d’Alliet smiles broadly. She isn’t wearing her usual white coat and her blond curly hair’s falling over her shoulders. “How are you?”

“You look nice.”, Mike smiles and she nods a shy thank you. “I’m fine, a little dizzy. What time is it?”

“7pm.”, she replies, walking to the bed. “I told you you’d experience dizziness. Just stay down as much as you can for the time being.”, she smiles. “No pain?”

“Not yet, surprisingly.”, Mike chuckles. “What did you inject me?”

“Morphine.”, she replies, checking his chart. “You were in a great deal of pain, that was my only option but-“, she stops when the bathroom door opens. “Oh.”, she raises a curious eyebrow. “You must be Harvey.”

“Guilty as charged.”, Harvey smirks and Mike resists the urge to roll his eyes. _Charmer_ … “Nice to meet you, doctor.”, he shakes her hand. “You’re dr. d’A… something, right?”

“D’Alliet, yes, that’s me.”, she giggles and Mike is amazed by how quickly Harvey managed to make her, a renowned French professor, blush and act like a teenage girl. “I’ve heard about you too.”

“Good things, I hope.”, Harvey sits on the bed.

“Yes, of course.”, she smiles at Mike. “I was dying to meet you. And I’m glad I did tonight because I’m afraid my work here is done. I’m taking the next flight to Paris.”

“Oh…”, Mike’s heart clenches in his chest. “So you came here to say goodbye?”

“Yes, to check on you one last time and to say goodbye.”, she replies with a sad smile.

“Thank you.”, Mike says, his voice barely a whisper.

What else could he say that would even begin to express how grateful he is? That woman came to check on him after his accident because she heard that there was a deaf patient in the hospital. She took the time to run tests, find a solution and explain the procedure. She offered to perform the surgery on a very short notice and when it didn’t exactly went as planned, she delayed her flight back to France so she could figure out what was wrong and take care of Mike.

“You’re very welcome.”, she takes his hand and squeezes it. “I’m happy for you. Being the first voice you heard in 20 years, being with you when you first heard music, that’s my reward.”, she swallows thickly. “I wish you the best, Mike. You’re a smart and brave young man and you’ve got your whole life ahead of you, I’m sure wonderful things are going to come your way.”

Mike gulps and nods, unable to speak.

“Here’s my card.”, she puts a business card on the nightstand. “You’re in good hands with the staff here, but if you have any question or if you feel like giving me an update on how you’re doing, I’d be delighted to read it.”

“Thank you, dr. d’Alliet.”, he manages to say.

“Call me Sylvie.”, she smiles and straightens her flowery blouse. “Bye, Mike. Take care.”

“Bye.”

“It was nice meeting you, Harvey.”, she shakes Harvey’s hand. “Take care of him.”

“I will.”, Harvey nods politely. “She’s really nice.”, he says once she’s left the room.

“She changed my life.”, Mike sobs.

“She did…”, Harvey agrees and he lies back down on the bed. “Come here.”, he smiles and lets Mike crawl into his embrace.

Mike knows he hasn’t fully grasped how much his life has changed now he can hear, but he guesses the answer is somewhere between “completely” and “totally”. And he owes that to her. Everything he couldn’t do and will now be able to do will be thank to her. He’ll most definitely email her.

“How long have you been here?”, he asks, sleepily nuzzling Harvey’s neck.

“Um…”, Harvey replies pensively. “It’s 7 so, a little over 5 hours.”

“Do you have to go back to work?”

“Right now? No.”, Harvey chuckles. “No, this shitty day turned into the most exciting day ever since I stepped through those hospital doors so no, I’m not going back yet.”

“Can you stay the night?”, Mike yawns.

“I don’t know, can I?”

“Yes, thanks to the 5-star room you booked for me.”, Mike mumbles and places a soft kiss on Harvey’s jaw.

“Okay, then. I’ll ask Donna to bring me a change of clothes.”, he says and smiles when he hears Mike’s now familiar snore crashing against the skin of his neck. “Goodnight, Mike.”, he whispers, placing a kiss on the top of Mike's head.

 


	25. Closure (part one)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, guys! This is part one of the last chapter! I had to cut it in two because it's 20-freaking-thousand words long but I'm posting the two parts in one go ;)  
> This has been very very difficult to wrap up because really, I could go on and on and on and on with these people! But all good things come to an end and I hope these two chapters give you closure (see what I did here?). Oh, I'm not leaving it at that, don't worry, I've got a whole verse planned ahead. I'm going to post little drabbles from time to time just to update you on the lives of Donna, Rachel, Mike, Harvey and maybe some of the secondary characters.
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH for your support. This whole story wouldn't exist without you and I know I say that a lot, but it is important for me to tell you and I wish there was a better way, a better word to express my gratitude. You guys are the best readers, cheerleaders anyone could hope for. I had a blast writing this story and it's mainly thanks to your amazing comments. THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH.
> 
> I hope you like how I ended Unspoken, it's dedicated to all of you.  
> <3 <3 <3

It’s past midnight when Donna finally rings the doorbell at Rachel’s apartment where she promised to meet her after her dinner with Harvey.

“Hey.”, a sleepy Rachel smiles at her when she opens the door.

“I’m sorry, princess.”, Donna sighs and gives her a quick kiss before coming in. “I had to go home to grab my toiletries and a change of clothes and then I couldn’t find a parking spot around here…”, she deftly toes off her bright red pumps and drops her designer overnight bag next to the couch.

“It’s okay, I wasn’t sleeping.”, Rachel follows her to the living room. “Would you like a tea, a decaf, anything?”

“No, thank you.”, Donna slumps onto the couch.

“How did it go?”, Rachel sits down next to her and rests her head on Donna’s shoulder.

“Very well. He’s a little worried about the headaches but he’s over the moon for Mike.”, Donna replies and presses a kiss on Rachel’s delicious-smelling hair. “He did not once bring the conversation back to himself, and that’s a first for Harvey, he just couldn’t stop talking about Mike and what hearing would mean for him, all the possibilities he had now…”, she makes a wide general gesture with a hand. “I literally was unable to get a word in edgeways.”

“He wasn’t mad that Mike hadn’t told him sooner?”

“No, not at all, he didn’t even mention it.”, Donna shakes her head and yawns.

“We should go to bed.”, Rachel straightens up and smiles sleepily.

“Yeah, but before we do, there’s something I want to share with you.”, Donna announces. “It’s just a thought, something that came up while I was driving around the block, looking for a parking spot.”, she takes a deep breath. “What would you think of us moving in together?”, she asks in one breath and raises an expectant eyebrow.

“What?!”, Rachel chokes.

“I’m not asking you to move in with me tomorrow or anything, Rach’, I just want to know what you think about the _idea_ of moving in together.”, Donna quickly replies.

“Well, of course it’s crossed my mind that we would, uh, want to one day but…”, Rachel licks her lips nervously. She somehow knows this isn’t what Donna wants to hear. “We’ve only known each other for 2 months.”

“Yeah, I know but we’re not 20 anymore, we both have previous experiences in that department…”, Donna sighs. “Look, we keep packing and unpacking our bags, driving our toothbrush around town and, um, I mean… wouldn’t it be much simpler if we lived together?”

Rachel purses her lips and looks away. She knew this day would come and the truth is, she’s been thinking about moving with Donna for a solid two weeks. But there’s Mike. Mike who’s in the hospital, recovering from a surgery that’s left him with the most painful headaches. Mike who’s still a freelance photographer and who struggles to make ends meet. Mike who can’t exactly pay for half their rent and groceries. She doesn’t want him to move out from this apartment he’s always said was his safe haven, the only place he felt truly safe and comfortable. She doesn’t want him to move in a crappy studio apartment in a bad neighbourhood because he can’t afford to stay in Manhattan. She promised his Grammy that she would take care of him. And right now, moving in with Donna would feel like she’s abandoning him.

“It would be simpler…”, she agrees and swallows thickly. “And it would be really nice to be able to go to bed and wake up by your side everyday.”, she smiles weakly. “But I… I can’t leave Mike.”, she looks down at her crossed legs.

“Ever?”, Donna asks tentatively. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t expected Mike to be an obstacle in their blooming relationship at one point or another.

“No, I mean, I know he’s going to want to have his own place someday, especially now he can hear and maybe will work more but… Not _right now_.”

“What about you?”, Donna folds her arms across her chest. “You say Mike is going to want to have his own place, but what about you?”

Before meeting Donna, Rachel had never considered being the one leaving the nest. She had always thought Mike would come home one day and tell her he was moving out and that that would be it. She realizes how “motherly” that sounds now she thinks about it. When her ex Karen asked her to move in with her, she didn’t even give it a thought, she pulled out the Mike card and that was the end of the discussion. Karen seemed to understand, plus they were both just starting to work and earning small salaries, it wasn’t an ideal situation. But both her and Donna make good money (Donna obviously makes a lot more than her) and Donna’s 38, things are different now.

“Look.”, she replies in a serious voice. “You asked if I would consider the idea of moving in with you and the answer is yes. I have been thinking about it for a while, actually. But if you’re asking if I would _do_ it, then the answer, for now, is no.”

“Okay.”, Donna nods but she looks unconvinced and a little upset.

And Rachel can’t blame her. Donna knows very little of her relationship with Mike. Sure, she knows they’re close, that they’ve grown up together, that Rachel is very protective of him. But it’s so much more than that. Their bond is unbreakable, Rachel would literally sacrifice everything for him, _yes_ even her relationship with Donna. She’s aware it’s not easy to understand and she knows it’s probably not very healthy, but that’s how it is and she wouldn’t trade what she has with Mike for the world.

“Let’s go to bed.”, Donna tries to smile.

“That’s not what you wanted to hear…”, Rachel sighs.

“Of course it’s not.”, Donna chuckles dryly and places a hand on Rachel’s folded hands. “But I wanted an honest answer. I understand that your…”, she marks a quick pause. “… _situation_ is rather special. You said ‘for now’ and that’s what I’m going to retain from this conversation.”, she smiles genuinely and gets up from the couch.

Rachel made a huge sacrifice when she agreed to pursue a relationship with her knowing that she didn’t want kids, she can’t reasonably be mad at her for not wanting to move in with her after only 2 months of knowing each other and a little over a month of dating. So yeah, she’s going to hang on to those two words and hope for the best.

“I love you.”, Rachel says fondly and leans in for a kiss.

“I love you too, princess.”

 

 

The first time Mike opens his eyes, he automatically rolls around, ready to cuddle up against Harvey but the spot next to him is cold, way too cold. For a moment, he considers the idea that maybe Harvey was never here, that it had been all a dream again, that Dr. d’Alliet didn’t really leave the country. But his eyes are drawn to the very narrow space under the closed bathroom door, which diffuses a faint ray of yellow light on the carpet. He props himself on his elbows, frowning when he feels a sharp pain bouncing from one side of his head to the other but he chooses to ignore it and pricks up his ears. There’s someone in there. He can’t really tell what that person (Harvey, he hopes) is doing, though. He’s not very good with sounds yet, there’s still so much he needs to (re)learn. _It wasn’t a dream_ , he thinks with a smile before lying back down and closing his eyes. His head hurts but it’s nothing compared to what he experienced this morning, it’s manageable, he could almost pretend it’s not there.

 

The second time he wakes up, he doesn’t even have to move to a finger to know Harvey’s lying beside him as his cheek is pressed against a warm patch of skin he knows belongs to Harvey, he can smell it. It doesn’t smell like hospital soap, it smells like Harvey. He must have been showering when Mike first woke up.

He rolls over on his back and rubs his temples. The headache isn’t worse and that’s great news. He sighs contently and carefully moves back to his side of the bed to turn on the bedside lamp and check the time on his phone. It tells him it’s 01.34am and that Rachel sent him a text message 3 hours ago. He didn’t hear his phone because it’s still set on vibrate. Another thing he’ll have to change eventually.

“ _Are you asleep? I was hoping I could try to call you!!!! <3_”

He’s about to type a reply when a loud snore startles him, almost making him drop his phone. Oh yeah, that’s right, that’s what snoring sounds like. Both his parents were loud snorers and now he remembers what it sounded like when he would join them in their bed in the middle of night. Stephen said Harvey snored and he didn’t lie.

Mike grins and puts his phone away before crawling back to Harvey, who’s lying on his back, dressed in a tight grey cotton t-shirt that looks brand new and still bears clear fold lines. He looks peaceful with his slightly parted lips and uncharasterically-relaxed brow. He looks peaceful but also goddamn tempting, and maybe a kiss would make the snoring stop… No, kissing will have to wait, he doesn’t want to wake him.

“Hey, some of us are trying to sleep here.”, Mike says in a low voice and gently pokes Harvey’s cheek with his index finger.

That seems to do the trick as Harvey immediately stops snoring. Rachel told him she did that when Mike snored and apparently, it doesn’t only work on him. _Funny_ , he thinks and all but freezes when Harvey stirs. _Oops_.

“Mike? Are you okay?”, Harvey asks, blinking to adjust to the light.

“Yeah, sorry I woke you up.”, Mike makes an apologetic face and quickly slides back under the covers.

“What time is it?”, Harvey asks and clears his throat.

It still feels weird to hear his voice but at the same time, just like it did with Rachel and Donna, or with Dr. d’Alliet, it feels natural, Harvey’s voice _suits_ him.

“1.30”, Mike replies.

“How’s your head?”, Harvey sits up and grabs his own phone.

 _My head’s fine but you… you’re gorgeous_ , Mike thinks as he stares at Harvey. At his toned arms, the soft skin in the V around his neck, the hem of his home pants-

“… Mike?”

“Sorry, what?”, he blurts and looks up at Harvey’s face, currently displaying genuine concern.

“Your head? Is it okay?”

“Yeah, it’s okay.”, Mike smiles, hoping the dim light can hide his blush. “It still hurts but, um, nothing I can’t handle.”

“Gretchen, the night nurse, left a couple of pills for you.”, Harvey turns around and grabs them from his own nightstand. “She said you could take them if you needed.”

“I’m fine.”, Mike shakes his head. “I’m tired of sleeping.”

“Well, they’re here if you need them.”, Harvey nods and puts the pills back on the nightstand.

“You’ve spoken to the nurses?”

“Gretchen came here around 8 as I was leaving to go get my stuff.”, Harvey yawns. “When I called Donna to ask if she could drop by my place and bring me a change of clothes, she was just coming out of work and she asked if I wanted to have dinner with her.”, he explains, lying back down. “Since you were asleep and Gretchen told me you probably wouldn’t wake up for a while, I figured I could disappear for a few hours.”, he smiles.

Mike smiles back and lowers himself down beside him. This is the longest conversation he’s had with Harvey, the longest he’s heard his voice and he has to suppress a grin at the idea that he will have many more of these conversations. _He can fucking hear_. And he already knows he will never get tired of hearing Harvey’s voice, he’ll never take it for granted. Hearing his voice feels like getting to know him better, it’s a new element to his personality, a new addition to his innumerable charms.

“Where did you two go?”, he asks. Not because he particularly cares but because he doesn’t want the conversation to end, he doesn’t want to go back to sleep. He knows exactly what he’d like to do right now, and it involves Harvey’s full participation. And gentle hands. And kisses. Lots of kissing. He’s still not sure how to initiate things, he was counting on Harvey but he still hasn’t even kissed him properly, so…

“We went to Gerald’s restaurant.”, Harvey smiles knowingly. “She wanted to eat _escargots_.”, he adds, wrinkling his nose.

“How’s Gerald? Is Julie back to work?”

“No, not yet, she’s home with the kids.”, Harvey yawns and Mike feels a little bad for keeping him awake. “They hired a new chef, he’s good.”

“Good for them.”, Mike nods and moves closer to Harvey, until his head is resting on Harvey’s chest. He uses his hand to lift his head up a little bit, just so that his good ear isn’t completely blocked. It feels both weird and absolutely amazing to be able to have a conversation like that, just like in the movies and shows Rachel and him watch all the time, without having to be looking at each other.

“How does it feel to hear?”, Harvey asks, moving a hand up to Mike’s hair. He probably realized how crazy it was as well.

“It’s amazing…”, Mike sighs. “I mean, I can hear you breathe!”, he giggles.

“What do you think of your own voice? You must have freaked out when you first heard it.”

“I hate it.”, Mike replies without even trying to sugarcoat it.

“Why?”, Harvey asks, gently carding his fingers through Mike’s hair. He thinks he knows why and he’s pretty sure it has nothing to do with his voice but rather with the way he talks.

Mike doesn’t reply, he just shrugs and makes a noncommittal noise.

“I like it.”, Harvey continues and he places a kiss on the top of Mike’s head. “No one likes their own voice anyway.”

“Mmm.”

“Okay, so you’re not tired.”, Harvey stifles a yawn. “What do you want to do then?”

“You’re tired…”, Mike replies. “Let’s go back to sleep.”

“I asked you a question.”, Harvey uses his free hand to grab Mike’s chin and make him look at him.

“I want to keep talking.”, Mike replies with a blush.

“Okay. What do you want to talk about?”

Mike purses his lips and thinks for a moment until something he’d completely forgotten about suddenly pops back up in his mind.

“Why did you have dinner with Alex?”, he asks, lowering his head back down as he remembers the dream he had last night.

“He needed to talk.”, Harvey sighs. “His father is sick and I’ve been through something similar with my mum when Alex and I started dating 5 years ago…”, he marks a short pause. “I guess he thought I’d be a great support.”

“How did it go?”

“Very well, until he figured out about us.”, Harvey replies. “I hate this fucking Facebook thing, sometimes.”, he sighs again. “I told him I was seeing someone and he asked if it was someone he knew. I said no but then I inadvertently dropped a hint and somehow he put two and two together, because he saw that you and I were friends on Facebook, and he freaked out.”

Mike remembers how bitter Alex still was about his failed marriage, he can only imagine how mad he was to learn that Harvey was seeing someone, let alone Mike.

“In your text, you said he might try to contact me. He wants to fire me, right?”, he asks, lifting his head up.

“He threatened to do it, yeah, but he can’t.”, Harvey replies with a reassuring smile. “And he won’t.”

“Maybe he won’t, but he will still be mad at me… He doesn’t even need to fire me, all he has to do is pretend that he doesn’t have any work for me.”

“First of all, he won’t do that.”, Harvey shakes his head. “I know him, when he comes back to his senses and stops being a child, he’ll put this behind him, he’s not a bad man.”, he nods convincingly. “Second of all, if he did this, you could sue him and I’d represent you. All we would need to do is prove that he hired another photographer to do the work he stopped giving you. But again, he won’t do this, I know him.”

“I like this job.”, Mike sighs. “I didn’t think I’d like it that much but you should see some of these properties!”, he shakes his head and jerks up. “Hey! Wanna see the pictures I took last week?”, he asks with an excited smile.

Honestly, when he asked Mike what he wanted to do, Harvey had something entirely different in mind. Something that involves getting rid of Mike’s black boxers and spreading Mike’s legs. And kisses. Lots of kissing. But Mike’s at the hospital, recovering from surgery and suffering from chronicle headaches. The last time they shared a bed, he had bruises on his hips and face and a sprained wrist, he was supposed to recuperate from getting hit by a car. So no legs spreading tonight, Harvey will wait for Mike to be completely healed. Kissing him should be fine but Mike hasn’t explicitly expressed the desired to be kissed, so Harvey’s going to be patient. Or at least try to be, because he’s not sure he knows what patience means. Mike called him, Mike asked to see him and that’s what matters right now.

“Sure.”, he replies, sitting up against the headboard as he watches Mike stepping out of the bed to get his computer from the dresser and he can’t help a fond smile.

God he’s missed him. Those three days have felt like an eternity… What made it even worse was not knowing what was going on, not knowing what was so wrong with Mike that he needed surgery. He would never have guessed. Mike can hear and it definitely shows in the way he carries himself already. He’s quieter, he speaks with a lower voice, he does things more carefully because he can hear the noise he makes. And that’s cuter than Harvey would ever admit. Being able to hear hasn’t made Mike any less cute, he still gets overly excited, still makes the cutest puppy eyes he’s ever seen, still speaks with these adorable speech defects.

“So.”, Mike climbs back on the bed, interrupting Harvey’s thoughts. “I did 3 condos but I’m going to show you my favourite.”, he announces, firing up his laptop.

“The one that costs 28 million?”, Harvey chuckles.

“Ah yeah, I told you already.”, Mike smiles. “Yep, that one.”, he adds, running his fast and expert fingers across the keyboard. “Look.”, he says and puts the computer on Harvey’s lap. “This beauty’s the living room.”, he points at a picture displaying a large very bright and homey-looking living room. “Bare with me, I haven’t had time to do any editing.”

It’s got a fireplace, a gigantic (but empty) wall-mounted bookcase, two grey leather couches, two very comfortable-looking armchairs placed around a thick wooden coffee table and the room opens to what looks like a rather large balcony.

“Nice, uh?”, Mike asks with a smile. “Wait until you see the bathroom. Oh, and the patio!”, he adds before Harvey can answer.

 

They spend almost an hour looking at the pictures because Mike makes a point of giving each of them a detailed commentary. And even though he can barely keep his eyes open, Harvey has to admit this is one of the nicest apartments he’s ever seen. He wouldn’t have decorated it like this if it had been his, but he still likes it. And Mike’s eye for detail, his obvious enthusiasm for the place shows in each and every shot. Alex and Eleanor are going to be thrilled with the result.

“28 million dollars…”, Mike mumbles as he shuts the lid of his laptop. “Can you imagine?”, he shakes his head. “Who has that kind of money? Who even _makes_ that kind of money?”

Harvey doesn’t reply because he doesn’t think Mike’s really asking. And because he _does_ make that kind of money.

“I mean, like, your apartment or Donna’s, they’re amazing.”, Mike continues as he steps out of the bed again to store his computer away. “But I guess they’re somewhat _affordable_?”, he turns around and looks at Harvey, a quizzical eyebrow raised up. “Right?”

“Depends. What do you consider affordable.”, Harvey asks with a smile.

“800 grand, a million tops?”, Mike offers and Harvey can tell he thinks he’s way above the real price.

“Well.”, Harvey chuckles and then stifles a yawn. “Then I guess my place isn’t what you’d call affordable.”

“Two million?”, Mike climbs back in the bed.

“Uh uh.”, Harvey shakes his head.

“Three?!”, Mike gapes at him.

“If it were The Price is Right, you’d be going home empty-handed.”, Harvey snorts and lies back down, extending an arm over Mike’s pillow.

“Come on, you’re shitting me.” Mike leans in the offered embrace. “Four?”

“Is it important?”, Harvey finally gives in and yawns loudly.

“Yes, I mean, no…”, Mike replies, nuzzling Harvey’s neck. “I’m just curious.”

“17.”

“What?!”, Mike jerks up. “Holy shit…”, he whispers and Harvey grins at him sleepily. “Who _are you_?”

“Specter. Harvey Specter.”, Harvey replies in a serious voice and yawns again. “And I’m exhausted and I have to wake up in 4 hours so I would really appreciate if you could turn off the light and lie back down.”

“Sure.”, Mike nods. “Sorry…”, he adds and knee-walks to the other side of the bed to turn off the light. “17 million…”, he shakes his head and Harvey snorts.

He knew Harvey made good money, Rachel already does and she’s just starting. But he had no idea he made _that kind_ of money. That explains why he always insisted on paying everything, whether when they went on dates or when they went clubbing in the Hamptons. That explains how he could afford to pay for Mike’s room. Maybe that even explains why he always smells so good. Or why he always looks so fucking perfect. Because that last point is not fair, there has to be a logical explanation.

He lies back down next to Harvey and closes his eyes.

“Goodnight.”, Harvey brings him closer and kisses the top of his head.

The first time Mike realized he could hear in the dark two nights ago (oh, of course he knew it, he just hadn’t realized it then), he actually got more scared of the noises he could hear and not identify than of the total, but familiar, loss of his all his functioning senses. He could hear so many things he wasn’t able to distinguish that he finally understood why people got scared of them in horror movies. That night, he spent about two hours trying to determine what these noises were while fighting his headache. Until he couldn’t fight anymore and fell asleep. He knows it’s going to take some time for him to feel comfortable in the dark, for him to be able to identify all the sounds around him, even in broad daylight. But he isn’t scared tonight, he’s got Harvey.

“Harvey?”

“Mmh?”

“Could we…”, Mike pauses and considers his choice of words for a short moment. “Uh, why won’t you kiss me?”

“I don’t know!”, Harvey chuckles. “Why won’t _you_?”

 _Right_. Mike purses his lips and screws up his courage before blindly reaching for Harvey’s face and crushing their lips together.

Harvey chuckles into the kiss and Mike takes this opportunity to deepen the kiss as well as move on top of Harvey. It feels so good to finally hold Harvey, to finally feel Harvey’s hands on his back and neck. After the nightmare he had last night, after that scare, and even though it was just a dream, he thought he had maybe lost Harvey forever. He thought that maybe Harvey would realize how selfish that was from Mike to keep this important thing from him, that he would think Mike didn’t want to “ _share his happiness with him_ ”.

He can’t help a relieved, content and _loud_ moan and stops dead, sitting back up. So that’s why Harvey shushed him back at Neal and Nick’s house.

“What?”, Harvey asks, running his hands up and down Mike’s thighs.

“Nothing… I…”, Mike begins to say but he doesn’t want to talk about it now, it’s a little embarrassing and Harvey’s tired and he wants to kiss him some more anyway. “Nothing.”, he repeats and bends forward.

“Are you sure?”, Harvey asks, his minty breath ghosting across Mike’s lips.

“Yes.”, Mike replies and presses his lips to Harvey’s. “’m sure.”, he mumbles between kisses.

Harvey’s not convinced but he’s bone-tired and he’d rather kiss Mike goodnight than start another conversation. He’s really glad Mike broached the subject of kissing because as much as he’s been wanting to do it since he entered the room yesterday afternoon, he didn’t want to be the one initiating it. He didn’t want Mike to think that it was all he had been waiting for when he agreed to stay the night. Of course, he would be lying if he said the thought hadn’t crossed his mind but he was willing to wait for Mike to be released from the hospital. It’s actually amazing everything he’d be willing to do for Mike, he realizes as Mike kisses his way from Harvey’s lips down to his neck while grinding shamelessly against Harvey’s groin.

“Mike…”, Harvey moans and grips Mike’s hips to still him. “I really need to sleep.”

“I know…”, Mike whines. “But I missed you.”, he says, kissing Harvey one last time and reluctantly moving back to his spot right against Harvey.

“I missed you too.”, Harvey replies, squeezing Mike’s shoulder. “But I seem to recall that you’re the one who didn’t want to see me.”, he adds.

“I know, I’m so sorry, I-“

“Hey.”, Harvey pulls him even closer. “I was just teasing you. Can we sleep now?”

“Yeah, sorry…”, Mike sighs. He knew Harvey was joking, he felt it in his tone of voice, but he also knows they’re going to have to talk about it eventually and the fact that Harvey hasn’t even asked for an explanation actually scares him a bit.

“Sleep well.”, Harvey yawns.

“You too. Thanks again for coming.”

“Thanks _you_ for calling me.”, Harvey sighs and he smiles when he feels Mike yawn against his chest. “Goodnight.”

“’Night.”

Harvey exhales deeply through his nose and tries to let go but it seems like his mind would rather replay yesterday’s events than go straight to sleep. He’s exhausted, drained by a horribly shitty day that somewhat ended a lot better than it started. Had he known, yesterday morning as he was cursing at his hair in front of the mirror, that he would go to bed next to Mike that night, his day would have been a lot different.

He was counting the days, hoping the week would be busy and consequently pass by in a blur. He was trying (and failing) to keep his mind off Mike. But the truth is the only things he was looking forward to were Mike’s texts and the prospect of seeing him at the end of the week.

He used to look forward to new cases to win, new opponents to crush, he used to look forward to going out and picking up a man or a woman for a night of rewarding sex. He used to look forward to being home with a bottle of fine scotch and jazz music, to watching a game with Stephen and a beer pack. It’s only been 5 weeks, or more exactly 4 weeks and 3 days since he’s met Mike. 4 weeks deeply marked by his interactions with him, the three dates they went on, the fights they had, the three nights they spent together, the two weekends at the beach house… It’s only been 5 weeks but Harvey realizes he’s already forgotten what life was before Mike. 5 weeks is nothing. 5 weeks is a quick case, a difficult negotiation, 5 weeks is the time it usually takes Harvey to meet with a new client and seduce him into signing with his firm. 5 weeks is a very small span of time and yet, it’s all it took for Mike to become Harvey’s main… interest. He can’t honestly remember the last time someone swept him off his feet, made him want more than a night, more than sex. He can’t remember the last time someone became more important than his meetings, than his clients, than his job. Someone other than himself, that is. It’s kind of sad, kind of scary too, but this young man, that Harvey met barely a month ago, is already a big part of his life.

It’s not been an easy ride and when Mike told him he was going to be away for a week and wouldn’t tell him why, Harvey almost called it quits on the spot. _Again_. He’s always hated secrets and complications, the latter being one of the reason he and Alex originally drifted apart, Alex was too complicated, too demanding and Harvey didn’t understand him anymore. Or didn’t want to try to understand him anymore. Harvey doesn’t _know_ Mike like Rachel does, he hasn’t spent that much time with him. But Harvey’s an observant man, he’s very good at reading people and situations and he’s seen enough of Mike to know what kind of man he is: compassionate, kind, funny, out-of-this world smart, brave and, well yeah, complicated. Another kind of complicated than Alex. Mike thinks too much, isn’t good at expressing his fears and questions and makes stupid decisions-

A soft, almost whispered “Ha’vey?” pulls him out of his thoughts followed by a more assured “Ha _rrrr_ vey?”.

“What now?”, Harvey sighs, deliberately ignoring the fact that Mike apparently just corrected himself. He has no idea how much time has passed since they said goodnight but he really thought Mike would have been asleep by now.

Mike reaches a hand to Harvey’s cheek and lifts his head up.

“I love you.”, he says softly.

Harvey’s eyes snap open and his heart literally stops beating for a moment. He licks his lips and opens his mouth to speak, hoping he can come up with something adequate very quickly because you can’t leave that unanswered, but a gentle index finger lands on his lips.

“You don’t have to say anything.”, Mike says. “I don’t want you to lie and I don’t want to know that you don’t love me.”, he sighs. “I just wanted to tell you because I’ve been wanting to say it for a while and…”, he strokes Harvey’s cheek and nuzzle his neck. “… the other day, on the street, you said, well _almost said_ something that sounded like that and I don’t ca’e, ca _rrr_ e, if that’s not what you meant to say or if you don’t feel the same. I guess it’s probably not protocol to say that to someone you barely know but my Grammy used to say that you should a’ways, a _llll_ ways, tell people while you can, because you never know.”, he stops a exhales deeply. “She was a very wise woman, she would’ve liked you.”, he sighs again and the room goes awfully silent for a long moment.

Harvey suspects Mike’s sigh was directed both to the memory of his grandmother and to his speech defects. And he wants to tell Mike he doesn’t have to correct himself, that he understands him perfectly but he’s pretty sure Mike doesn’t want to talk about it. Besides, it’s not the point right now.

“Remember that night we spent together at the Hamptons two weeks ago? After Neal’s birthday party?”, Harvey asks, choosing to keep the focus on Mike’s confession.

“Yeah…”

“You told me you loved me.”, Harvey says. “I already knew.”

“I did?”, Mike lifts his head up.

“Mmhmm.”, Harvey nods. “You were half asleep I guess.”

He feels Mike’s ribcage heaving against his side and his head lowering back down, and Harvey closes his eyes again. He wants to tell Mike it scared him and still does, he wants to tell him it was that which made him break things off with him on _goddamn_ Facebook, he wants to tell him that _love_ was exactly what he was going to say on the street the other day, that he meant it then and still does. But he’s not good with those three words, much to his friends, family members and ex-lovers’ dismay. He knows he sucks at expressing his feelings so he opts for silence for now.

“Okay.”, Mike nods his head slowly. “Goodnight.”

But Harvey can’t leave it at that, he needs to say something because not acknowledging Mike’s rant would basically mean that he agrees with Mike’s words. Mike said he didn’t want to know _that_ Harvey didn’t love him, he didn’t say _if_. And Harvey can’t let him think that.

The room’s pitch dark, he doesn’t have to look at Mike and maybe it’s not ideal, but at least he doesn’t have to think about his body language and facial expressions for once in his life, he can just speak and hope it doesn’t come out too weird, too wrong, too different from what he really feels.

“So I would be lying if I said that I love you?”, he quips, hoping he sounds wittier and more confident than he feels at the moment. “That’s what you said, right?”

“Uh, yeah.”, Mike replies hesitantly.

“Well, you’re wrong.”, Harvey says and he can almost hear the wheels turning in Mike’s brain, trying to figure out what that means.

It doesn’t take him more than 3 seconds, though, and the next thing Harvey knows, Mike’s lips are pressed to his own.

“Thank you.”, Mike whispers into the kiss and that breaks Harvey’s heart a little.

He didn’t even say the words yet Mike seems so grateful as if he was expecting Harvey to brush him off. Even though he paid for the room, texted him every day, came right away when Rachel called him and stayed the night… Despite all of that, Mike thought Harvey would send him packing. God, he must really be as bad at this whole “feeling thing” as his friends always tell him he is.

He tightens his hold on Mike and presses a kiss on his forehead.

“I really, really need to get some sleep now.”, he says.

“Goodnight.”, Mike replies and Harvey’s sure he’s grinning.

He quickly slips back into his earlier position with his head on Harvey’s chest and releases a loud content sigh.

A minute later, they’re both fast asleep and the sun is starting its slow ascent.

 

 

“What the fuck is this?!”, Mike yells, jerking up on the bed, a hand pressed to his chest.

“Sorry…”, Harvey mumbles and reaches for the bedside table, his eyes still closed. “It’s my alarm.”

“Fuck…”, Mike whispers and rubs his face shakily. “I think I’m going to keep my own alarm…”

“Your _vibrating thing_.”, Harvey chuckles sleepily and clicks on the phone’s screen.

Mike turns to him with a knowing smile and leans in for a kiss. Harvey cups Mike’s face, happy that he took the initiative, and quickly deepens the kiss.

Mike tries hard to not make a sound but he finds himself unable to suppress a moan when one of Harvey’s hands travels down from his face to his butt, grabbing it possessively.

“I wish we weren’t in a hospital room…”, Harvey pulls away and whispers breathlessly as he squeezes Mike’s ass.

Mike feels his cheek warm up and he crashes their mouth together because he can’t hold that lusty gaze, can’t reply to that. Not in broad daylight, not yet. He knows what Harvey means and he more than agrees with him but what he can’t deal with right now is what Harvey’s voice saying these words does to him. Harvey likes to talk, likes to comment in these intimate moment and though it’s a little intimidating, Mike has gotten used to it. Until now, he could only read them on Harvey’s lips. Now he can hear them, it’s a whole other level of sexy, a whole other lever of arousing.

“Do you have to go now?”, he breathes against Harvey’s lips.

“Yeah…”, Harvey sighs and rolls on his back.

“What time is it?”, Mike yawns.

“8…”

“What?”

“You didn’t hear or you’re surprised?”, Harvey raises an eyebrow.

“I didn’t hear…”, Mike blushes.

“It’s 8am.”, Harvey smiles. “I was supposed to wake up at 6 but I pushed it back when I realized it what time it was when we said goodnight for the _second_ time.”, he smirks. “I need to be at the office at 9 as one of my client, who totally tried to blindside me by the way, is coming at 9:30.”

“A client blindsided you?”, Mike frowns. “Aren’t your opponents supposed to do that?”

“Yeah…”, Harvey yawns and stretches loudly. “But this one is a special brand of stupid and keeps on screwing up.”, he gets up and leaves the bed. “He thinks legal troubles go away if you ignore them.”, he rolls his eyes.

“I see.”, Mike snorts and watches Harvey walk to the bathroom.

Harvey’s grey t-shirt lands on the bedroom floor a couple of seconds later.

Mike sighs and pulls the covers up to his chin, feeling a little chilly in the now cold bed.

For the first time since waking up and seeing Harvey yesterday, he takes the time to reminisce about the events that lead Harvey back to him. Barely 24 hours ago he was undergoing a scan, feeling sad and frustrated and his head was hurting like hell. He really thought he was going to die in that hospital, there was just no way he could survive this pain. He remembers thinking that it wouldn’t matter that much if he died, that his biggest wish had been granted, he could hear so he could die somewhat “happily”. The only thing he thought he’d regret was to never have heard Harvey’s voice. _And his laugh_. But other than that, he was kind of fine with the idea of leaving. At least he would stop hurting, and Rachel could stop worrying about him and get on with her life, free of the heavy weight of having to care about Mike. She never talks about it, they never talk about it, but Mike knows exactly what she promised his Grammy and he’s catalogued every little sacrifice or compromise she’s made for him over the past 10 years. She’s managed to become a lawyer, she’s got her friends and she had girlfriends, she didn’t stop living for Mike. But he knows things would have been drastically different had she not made him her number one priority. They’re not 18 or 20 anymore, they’re grown ups and Rachel needs her space, she needs to be able to make decisions based on her desires and aspirations, not on Mike’s well being. He’ll never have enough words, enough time, enough money, enough occasions to thank her for what she’s done for him and she would probably refuse his gratitude… But yeah, if he had died yesterday, at least she would have been free.

Mike’s startled out of his thoughts by another loud high-pitched sound he suspects comes from Harvey’s phone again, but this time he doesn’t jump.

“Who is it?”, Harvey pops a head around the bathroom door, his cheeks covered in shaving foam and points at his phone. “Could you look at the caller ID, please?”, he asks.

“Oh, sure.”, Mike nods and crawls to the other side of the bed. “ _Ethan mobile_.”, he says, extending his arm so Harvey can see the screen. _Harvey’s assistant_.

Harvey rolls his eyes and walks to the bed.

“Could you pick it up and put it on speaker, please?”, he asks, wiggling his wet hands. “There’s an icon on the scr-“

“Yeah, I know.”, Mike smiles and taps the screen twice before putting the phone down on the bed.

“Mr. Specter?”, a breathless voice echoes in the room and Mike can’t help a satisfied smile. He can hear phone conversations.

“What is it, Ethan? Make it quick, I’m in a rush.”, Harvey replies and sighs exaggeratingly.

“Sorry, well, um, I’m at Starbucks and it’s still closed so I just wanted to let you know that I’m probably going to come in late because-“

“Okay, that’s fine, I’m not at the office yet.”, Harvey scratches his foam-coated cheek. “Is that all?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s all. I’ll be at there as soon as I can. Thanks.”

“Bye.”, Harvey says and motions for Mike to hang up.

“Wow.”, Mike shakes his head. “You’re a horrible boss! You didn’t even say good morning!”

“He didn’t either.”, Harvey replies with a smirk and walks back to the bathroom. “He knows I’m not mad or anything, that’s just how we communicate.”, he turns around and shrugs.

Mike shakes his head disapprovingly and props himself on one elbow, he’s not sure he could hear Harvey properly from that distance with his ear buried in the plush pillow.

“How long has he be wo’ki-, wo _rrr_ king for you?”, he asks, leaning towards Harvey’s side of the bed so he can at least see his back.

“4 years.”

“4 years and he still calls you Mr. Specter?!”, Mike gasps.

“Yep.”, Harvey replies and turns around with a wicked smile. “If I allow him to call me Harvey, I know he’s going to start telling me about his girlfriend and what they do on the weekends, like we’re buddies and everything.”, he makes a disgusted face and Mike bursts out laughing.

“You’re horrible!”

“Ethan knows I respect him.”, Harvey turns back to the sink. “He’s the best assistant I’ve ever had. He’d run across town on a snow storm to get my coffee if I asked him to.”

“You mean he just called about _your_ coffee?”, Mike asks. “I thought he was telling you he was going to be late because he still had to buy his own! You know what you remind me of?”

“A badass lawyer?”, Harvey turns around and winks, his face now almost completely shaved.

“Miranda Priestly.”, Mike replies and Harvey raises an eyebrow. “The Devil Wears Prada?”

“Oh.”, Harvey rolls his eyes. “Donna talks about her all the time, she’s like her _role model_ or something.”, he huffs. “I haven’t seen the movie.”

“I have.”, Mike says. “But the book is better. You should read it.”

“Maybe someday…”, Harvey replies, patting his face with a towel. “Okay.”, he unzips the garment bag he hung on the bathroom door and grabs a light blue dress shirt. “Got anything planned for today?”, he asks, putting it on. “How’s your head?”, he adds, realizing there’s not much Mike can do in a hospital.

“It’s fine for now.”, Mike replies. It seems like it’s a lot better but he knows it’s way too soon to cry victory. He’s had periods of relief in the past three days but they never lasted very long. “I guess I’m going to watch TV. _With_ the sound on.”, he smiles. “And Rachel’s mum is coming for lunch.”

“I saw her yesterday when I came in.”, Harvey looks up from his fingers buttoning his shirt. “I had no idea her mum was a judge.”, he shakes his head in disbelief. “With two parents in such high places, Rachel must feel a lot of pressure to succeed.”

“Yeah…”, Mike nods. “They’re both very successful but also very supportive.”

“I’m guessing you’re pretty close to them?”, Harvey asks, pulling his sweatpants down, his eyes fixed on him and Mike realizes Harvey still makes sure he can read his lips. Apparently, he’s not wrapped his head around the fact that Mike can hear yet. And Mike finds it cute.

“Yes, I am. They’re family, they took good care of me and my grandmother.”, Mike replies and swallows thickly.

“They must be really happy for you.”, Harvey smiles and buttons his suits pants. “How do you think the people at Hope are going to react?”

Mike opens his mouth to reply but he suddenly realizes that he hasn’t given it a single thought. He hasn’t thought about breaking the news to Trevor. His first instinct was to tell Harvey that, of course, his deaf friends would be thrilled for him. But now he thinks about it, he wonders if that will really be the case and considers for a moment what his reaction would be if it was Trevor who had his hearing restored. _Thrilled_ definitely isn’t the first thing that comes to his mind.

“I don’t know.”, he replies and purses his lips. “I haven’t thought about it actually…”

Harvey gives him a small tight lips smile and grabs his shoes.

“You don’t have to think about that yet.”, he says, sitting on the edge of the bed, awkwardly turned towards Mike. “Right now, you need to focus on resting and getting better.”

Mike nods and lowers down on the pillow. _Rest_. That’s all he’s been doing for the past 4 days and he could really use some new occupations…

“Will you come back tonight?”, he asks shyly.

“Do you want me to?”, Harvey asks with a teasing smile.

 _Of course_ , Mike wants to reply but he understands that it’s not that obvious from Harvey’s standpoint. After all, Mike’s the one who told him he wanted to do this alone, to be left alone for a week.

“Yes.”, he replies, his voice barely a whisper. “Yes.”, he clears his throat and repeats.

“Okay, then.”, Harvey nods with a serious face. “I have no idea when I’ll be finished with court but I’ll come.”, he slides his phone in his pants pocket and puts on his jacket. “I hope your head doesn’t bother you too much today.”

“Me too…”, Mike sighs and sits back up when Harvey leans over him for a kiss.

“Have a good day.”, Harvey reaches for Mike’s cheek and smiles. “Let me know if there’s anything, okay?”, he moves his thumb across Mike’s lips.

Mike nods and lowers back down as Harvey picks up his briefcase and starts heading for for door.

“Hey!”, Mike calls. “What’s your favourite song?”

“Good question.”, Harvey turns around and looks around the room pensively. “I’m afraid I almost exclusively listen to jazz music but um, off the top of my head I’d say Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon and Garfunkel. Why?”

“I’ll give it a listen.”, Mike grins.

“Good. See you later.”, Harvey smiles and walks out of the bedroom.

The corridor is mostly quiet except for the nurses he can hear chatting in a room somewhere. They must be getting ready to serve breakfast.

He’s exhausted, his whole body feels stiff and sore from the lack of sleep but he doesn’t mind. He’s happy Mike called him, happy to have spent the night close to him, happy Mike asked him to come back tonight. Oh, and Mike _loves_ him. And he wasn’t half asleep when he said it. Pursing his lips to suppress a smile (he’s having quite a hard time getting into best-closer-ever mode this morning), he steps into the large and bright hallway and heads for the big glass exit doors.

“Harvey?!”, he hears and automatically turns around, recognizing the surprised and familiar voice.

“Alex.”, he cocks his head to one side when he spots his ex husband by the vending coffee machine. He looks tired and worn-out, a far cry from the always-put-together-yes-even-on-Sundays/sweatpants-are-the-devil man he met 5 years ago.

“What are you doing here?”, Alex asks, carefully grabbing the plastic cup from the machine.

“I, uh, I was visiting Mike.”, Harvey replies.

“Oh.”, Alex raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t know he was in the hospital.”

“He had surgery on Sunday.”, Harvey explains because he knows Alex didn’t believe Mike was really sick. “How’s Frank?”

“He’s being released today.”, Alex replies with a weak smile.

“That’s great news. Tell him I wish him the best.”, Harvey says. “I gotta go now. Have a nice day.”

“Yeah, you too.”, Alex replies. “Look, Harv’, I-“

Harvey turns on his heel and walks away, stopping Alex in his tracks. He’s sure Alex wanted to apologize or at least talk about their last conversation, or about Mike being here. But he’s not interested in hearing Alex’s excuses, what’s done is done and he can only hope Frank will stay healthy, that Alex won’t fire Mike and finally move on with his life. Besides, he needs to rush to the office.

 

By the time he arrives at the firm, Ethan’s waiting for him with a warm cup of his favourite (caffeinated) beverage. Mr. Della Torre is on time and their meeting goes well. If it had been any other day, if Harvey had been in his usual business mood, he would have told him off for being a stupid fuck and hiding a pending lawsuit from his lawyer, he would have threatened to drop him as a client. But Harvey’s in too good a mood to be mean today, plus he already knows how he’s going to win this. So he doesn’t snap at him, just reminds him that he pays him a lot of money to take care of these things, that lawsuits don’t magically disappear and he asks him to never pull something like that again. They part ways amicably and Harvey works on a new case for the rest of the morning, undisturbed until Donna enters his office around 1pm, holding a brown bag and a bottle of wine.

“You waited for Ethan to go on break.”, Harvey shoots her pointed look.

“I don’t like him.”, Donna makes a face.

“It’s been 4 years, Don’.”, Harvey sighs. “He’s a great guy.”

“Oh, come on.”, she settles on the couch and puts her stuff on the coffee table. “You’re just jealous because he’s more scared of me than he is of you.”

“Maybe. But your assistant’s in love me.”, Harvey gets up and smirks.

“Amy’s _not_ in love with you.”, Donna snorts and retrieves two bagels and two salads from the brown bag.

“Whatever. Mike is.”

“What?!”, she looks up.

“He told me last night.”, Harvey shrugs, revelling in the way she gapes at him. Speechless and unsettled Donna is one of his favourite things in the world. “Thanks for bringing lunch.”, he adds casually.

“What do you mean he _told_ you?”

“What else could that mean?”, Harvey rolls his eyes and grabs a bagel.

“Wow.”, Donna grins. “Congrats!”, she gets up and walks to his desk to get his can opener and two glasses from his liquor tray.

“Are we drinking thish now?”, Harvey asks with his mouth full.

“ _Yesh_.”, she mocks. “I need a drink. Oh, did you tell Mike about your big plans for him?”

“What plans?”

“You know, him going to Law School and everything?”, she pours two glasses and quickly brings one to her lips.

“That was a _suggestion_ , not a plan.”, he rolls his eyes again and wipes his mouth with a napkin.

“Oh, it totally was a plan.”, Donna chuckles.

“It’s way too soon for him to be thinking about this, he’s still at the hospital.”, Harvey holds up a hand. “There are so many things he still needs to figure out. He will need money to go to school again and I don’t even know if he still has a job at Alex’s agency.”

“What about moving in together?”

“What?!”, Harvey almost chokes on his bagel. “Where the hell does this come from?”

Donna heaves out a long, loud and exaggerated sigh and puts her glass down on the table.

“I had an idea yesterday in the car back to Rachel’s.”, she explains, leaning back in the couch. “So I asked Rachel what she’d think about the idea of us moving in together.”

“Wha’ did she shay?”, Harvey asks with his mouth full again.

“That’s gross.”, Donna frowns at a piece of bagel that lands on the table. “She said she couldn’t because of Mike. She doesn’t want to ‘abandon’ him or to see him move to Brooklyn or the Bronx because he can’t afford Manhattan.”

“They’re joined at the hip, you knew it from the get-go.”

“Yeah but I…”, she sighs. “She brought the subject up at breakfast again. She wants to eventually get her own place and see Mike fly on his own and blossom and become independent, but she’s worried about him because he doesn’t make much money with his photo gigs…”

“Maybe she needs to stop being overprotective and let him become independent.”, Harvey takes a sip of his glass. “Mike is talented and resourceful, he’ll find a way to make more money if he has to, especially now he’s got his hearing back.”

“I agree but I can’t possibly tell her that.”, Donna shakes her head. “She’s not reasonable when it comes to him, she gets defensive and I don’t want her to think I’m trying to separate her from Mike. Maybe _you_ could talk to Mike?”

“And tell him what?”, Harvey snorts. “That he needs to get off his lazy ass and get a real job so his best friend can move in with my best friend? I don’t think so.”, he shakes his head and Donna rolls her eyes and sighs dramatically. “You and Rachel have been dating for what? A month? Can’t it wait a little?”

“We’ve know each other for over two months.”, Donna corrects pointedly. “Besides, I didn’t ask her to move in with me now.”

“No but you’d want her to.”

“Yes…”, she pouts.

“Patience is a virtue, Don’”

“Says the most impatient man on earth!”, Donna bursts out laughing and grabs her glass. “Let’s drink to impatience.”, she giggles, clinking it against Harvey’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to click on "Next chapter"!  
> I'm [SoSauffie](http://sosauffie.tumblr.com) on tumblr!


	26. Closure (part two)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's part two!
> 
> Make sure to catch part one first if you've come directly to the last chapter because I cut the ending in two seperate chapters!
> 
> THANK YOU GUYS!!!

“Alright, Mr.Ross, Dr. d’Alliet said that if your head felt better, she didn’t see any reason to keep you here.”, the doctor states after a quick check on Mike’s ear.

“Really?!”, Mike asks.

“Yes.”, the old man nods as he types something on Mike’s electronic chart. “You will need to come for a weekly check up for the next month but you’re good to go.”, he looks up and smiles.

“Thanks, doctor!”, Mike grins and steps off the bed.

“Take care and call us if anything feels wrong, okay?”, he asks. “And stop by the reception on your way out, there are a couple of forms you need to sign.”

“Yes!”, Mike nods jerkily and runs to the closet where Rachel disposed of all his belongings.

He’s going home. He didn’t mind this room and the food too much, the VIP treatment definitely is a lot better than standard hospitalisation, but he still can’t wait to sleep in his own bed and get back to his books and usual occupations. He needs to tell Rachel. And Harvey.

He all but runs back to his bed and grabs his phone, ready to type a text when he realizes that he can call Rachel now. Or at least try. He heard Harvey’s conversation with his assistant, but the speaker was on, maybe it’ll be different with the sound coming directly in his ear.

It feels weird to hold the phone up to his good ear, he’s never done this before, cell phones didn’t exist when he lost his hearing, and he takes a deep calming breath and closes his eyes. He hears a couple of beeps he assumes are the rings people in movies and shows refer to before Rachel finally picks up.

“Mike?”

“Hey!”, he grins when he hears her.

“Oh my god!”, she laughs. “This is so cool! How are you?!”

“I’m better.”, Mike replies, his eyes still closed, he’s afraid opening them will cause him to lose his focus on the conversation. “So much better in fact that they’re letting me go today!”

“That’s awesome news. Do you need me to pick you up? When are you leaving the hospital?”

“I can leave now. I’ll take a cab, don’t worry.”, he replies and slowly opens his eyes again.

“Are you sure? It’s almost 3, I can be there in two hours.”

“Nah, don’t bother, I’m fine. I just wanted to tell you.”, he nods, stuffing folded clothes in his bag with his free hand.

“I’m so happy for you! I can’t wait to see you. Let me know when you’re home, okay?”, she asks.

“Yep. See you tonight!”, he replies cheerfully.

“I’ll stop by Ari’s on my way back. See you!”

He hangs up and giggles happily. This day couldn’t get any better. Hell, his life couldn’t get any better. Now he needs to tell Harvey, who was supposed to come back here tonight. And Rachel just made plans for dinner, which means he’ll have to cancel on one of them or have dinner with the two of them.

He’s a bit disappointed when Harvey doesn’t pick up so he decides to try his office number.

“Harvey Specter’s office, this is Ethan, how may I help you?”

“Oh, hi, uh, could I speak to Harvey Specter, please?”, he tries to articulate perfectly.

“May I ask who’s asking?”

“Just tell him it’s important, please.”, Mike replies. He wants it to be a surprise and would rather not be announced.

“I’ll see what I can do.”, the young man says and Mike can sense that he’s not very comfortable with taking that request to his boss.

Ethan puts him on hold, which allows him to listen to a beautiful and soothing music and Mike finds it to be quite enjoyable.

“Uh are you still here?”, Ethan asks after a short moment.

“Yes.”

“Mr. Specter would like to know who’s calling.”

Mike sighs and walks to the bed.

“Can you tell him to look at his cell phone, please?”, he asks, sitting down. “Oh, and tell him to be nicer to his assistant.”

“Um, sure, I will.”, the young man replies hesitantly and Mike hears another voice in the background. “Hold on a moment, please.”, he adds and the line goes silent.

For a moment he wonders if Ethan hung up on him because he doesn’t hear the nice music but-

“Mike, is that you?”

“Hey!”, he cheers, his heart suddenly beating really fast upon hearing Harvey’s voice.

“Is everything alright?”, Harvey asks and Mike thinks he’s getting tired of people thinking there must be something wrong every time they hear from him.

“Yes, I’m sorry to call you on you’ office, you _rr_ office phone but I tried your mobile and you didn’t pick up. I’ve got good news!”

“Sorry, I was busy with a difficult new case. What’s going on?”

“I can go home today!”, Mike yells.

“They’re letting you go?”, Harvey asks, visibly not sharing Mike’s enthusiasm.

“Yes! That’s why I’m calling you since you were supposed to-“

“You were in excruciating pain just yesterday and they’re letting you go?”, Harvey cuts him and he sounds a little upset from what Mike can hear.

“Well, yeah. Apparently, Dr. D’Alliet told them to release me if my head felt better.”

“And it does?”, Harvey asks. “You’re not pretending just so you can go?”

“No!”, Mike replies and now he’s upset too. It was supposed to be good news but Harvey doesn’t sound happy for him and, even worse, he’s doubting him now.

“Are you sure, Mike? I mean, it’s pretty serious…”

“Yes I’m sure.”, Mike replies. “It hurts but it’s a lot better, it hasn’t gotten worse since estuh- yust _-,_ fuck! _yesterday_ evening.”, he stops and angrily throws the t-shirt he was holding across the room. “I just wanted to let you know, that’s all. I’m sorry I called. I still need to pack so I’m gon-“

“Mike.”, Harvey cuts him again, a lot gentler this time. “It’s great that you can go home and I’m glad you called. Do you need me to send my driver over to pick you up?”

“No, thanks, Rachel offered to pick me up as well, I’m going to take a cab.”, Mike replies. “But thanks.”, he sighs.

“Okay, do you want to go out tonight?”, Harvey asks. “Maybe eat at Ari’s like we were supposed to last week?”

“Uh, I just spoke to Rachel and she said she would bring dinner home but maybe you could have dinner with us?”, Mike asks, bracing himself because he knows things are still pretty tense between him and Rachel.

“I’d love to but you should ask her first.”, Harvey replies. “She probably wants to spend some time with you.”

“Well, I want to spend time with you too, so… Just come over when you’re done with work, okay?”

“Alright. I’ll see you tonight, then. Be careful until then and call the hospital if you don’t feel well.”

“I will, don’t worry about me.”, Mike nods and walks to the bathroom to collect his toiletries. He just wants to go home now, he’ll shower there. “See you later.”

“Bye, Mike.”

Mike exhales deeply and grins at his reflection in the mirror. He just had a real conversation on the phone. He’s going home. He’s having dinner with Harvey and Rachel. _Life is fucking good_.

 

“Mr. Specter?”, Ethan knocks softly on the door and takes a couple of hesitant steps inside Harvey’s office.

“Yes?”, Harvey looks up from his computer and raises an eyebrow.

He’s got a pretty good idea of what Ethan’s going to ask him since he not only heard but also _listened closely_ to the conversation he just had with Mike. Harvey was actually expecting him to show up and try to squeeze personal information out of him. Donna’s right when she says Ethan’s a little slow on the uptake sometimes because that’s not going to happen.

“Just wondering…”, Ethan narrows his eyes. “The man who just called, _Mike_ , is he, uh, a _friend_ of yours?”, he asks, airquoting.

“Really, Ethan?”, Harvey glares at him. “I mean, you seriously think I’m going to answer that?”

“Well, you don’t have to, I already know the answer.”, the young man chuckles, his cheek slightly flushed. “I’ve never heard you speak so kindly to anyone, not even your brother. Or Miss Paulsen.”

“So, why do you ask?”, Harvey rolls his eyes.

“Is he coming here? I’d love to meet him!”, Ethan claps. “Is he a lawyer? I mean, he seems like-“

“Ethan.”, Harvey threatens.

“… he seems like a wise man. He’s right, you should totally be nicer to your assistant.”, Ethan smirks.

“Get out.”, Harvey shakes his head with a smile and goes back to his computer.

“He sounded younger than you, like _way_ younger.”, Ethan quips. “Does he like Nicki Minaj? Because I have two tickets for-“

“Out. Now.”, Harvey growls.

“I can’t wait to meet him!”, Ethan calls, walking back to his cubicle. “He can’t be worse than Alex now, can he?”

Harvey shakes his head again and tries to imagine what a meeting between these two hyperactive puppies would be like. They would hit it off instantly, no doubt about it, and Harvey would end up going on double dates with Ethan and Mina, or Nina, whatever her name is. _Eww_.

Just the fact that he planned that far ahead, that he imagined going on more dates with Mike surprises him. Sure, they’re good right now and Mike told him he loved him. But with this new exciting life ahead of him, Mike might reconsider everything now, his job, his relationships, his _whole life_. He should go to law school and become a lawyer, maybe specialize in defending people in need or handicapped people. With the knowledge he seems to possess already and his incredible memory, graduating from Harvard should be a walk in the park for Mike. But what Rachel told Donna is right. He would need money in order to do that, lots of it actually to pay for both the school and his rent and food. He could obtain a scholarship and that would help but that wouldn’t be enough. Unless-

Harvey picks up the phone receiver and grabs his cell phone. He browses through his contact list until he finds the one he’s looking for and dials the number on his office phone.

“Blake and Corey, how may I help you?”

“Hi, I’m Harvey Specter, I’d like to talk to Mrs Corey, please.”, Harvey replies.

“Sure. Let me transfer you. Have a good day, Sir.”

He waits for what feels like a whole hour before someone finally picks up.

“Harvey.”, Eleanor says, her voice tinted with surprise. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, thank you, Eleanor. How are you?”

“I’m doing pretty good, thank you.”, she replies. “What can I do for you?”

“I was wondering if my apartment is currently rented.”

“The one on Fifth Avenue?”, Eleanor asks and Harvey hears a typing noise in the background.

“Yeah, that one, I don’t have another one registered at your agency.”, Harvey replies matter-of-factly.

“At our agency? Do you have another one somewhere else?”, she asks, ever the business woman.

“No. I’m living in the other one I own.”, Harvey rolls his eyes. “So?”

“I’m checking.”, she replies. “Don’t you ever check your bank account? If it was rented, you’d have payments coming in every week.”

“I know the last tenant had a monthly lease but I don’t remember receiving a payment in a while. Besides, that’s what I pay you and Alex a huge amount of money for, so I don’t have to keep track of when it’s rented or not.”

He hears Eleanor huff not-so-discreetly and leans back in his chair. He and Eleanor have never been particularly close. He respects her, and he knows the feeling’s mutual, but he doesn’t _like_ her. She’s a cold-blooded calculative woman who only cares about making and spending money. She’s the best at what she does and never lets her feelings get in the way of business. Come to think of it, they might be too much alike to get along.

“Found it.”, she announces. “By the way, next time you want information about your apartment, call Olivia or Karen, that’s their job.”

“And if I wanted to deal with underlings, I’d take my apartment to another agency.”, Harvey quickly retorts. “Is it rented or is it not?”

“It’s not.”, Eleanor replies. “Two couples are interested, though, their files must be with Olivia or Karen for reviewing.”

“Take it off the market for now.”, Harvey says. “Please.”

“Okay. I’ll ask the girls to inform our potential tenants that it’s no longer available. I’d ask why you want it taken off the market, but I imagine you won’t tell me.”

“Bingo.”, Harvey replies in a light tone. “Thank you, I’ll get back to you.”

“Sure. Have a nice afternoon, Harvey.”

“You too, Eleanor.”, he replies and hangs up before dialling Donna’s office number.

“Yep.”

“Can you come over for a sec?”, Harvey asks.

“Could we do this over the phone, I’m kind of busy right now?”, Donna sighs.

“Nope.”

“Fine, I’ll be right there. It better be worth it.”, Donna threatens before hanging up and Harvey can’t help a broad smile.

 

 

It’s a little past 8 when Donna and Harvey arrive at Mike and Rachel’s apartment.

When Harvey asked Donna if she wanted to have dinner with them, she told him Rachel had already asked her and that she was coming. So Harvey waited for her to be done with her work and Ray drove them to a wine merchant where Harvey bought two bottles of Château Latour. One to replace the one he drank with Mike that night a couple of weeks ago and one as a homecoming gift for Mike.

When they step out of the elevator, they’re stopped dead in their tracks by shoutings coming from the apartment.

“Woops.”, Donna grimaces.

Harvey can’t really hear what they’re fighting about, the only thing he gets is a very loud and exasperated “It’s _my_ fucking life, Rachel!” and Donna must be thinking the same thing because she turns around with a hesitant look and asks:

“Do you think we should wait here for a moment?”

“I don’t know…”, Harvey replies. “Maybe we should go and pretend we didn’t hear anything?”, he proposes.

“Alright…”, Donna starts walking towards the front door as the shouting match continues behind it.

She exhales sharply and rings the doorbell. The apartment automatically goes silent and Rachel opens the door a couple of seconds later.

“Hey.”, she greets them with a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “Come in.”, she swings the door open and extends her arm invitingly.

“Sorry, we’re a bit late.”, Harvey apologizes and hands her the bottles. “We got stuck in traffic.”

“It’s okay.”, Rachel smiles and grabs the proffered bottles. “We, uh-“, she clears her throat and guides them to living room where Mike is seated, clearly not decided to pretend they weren’t just fighting, if the intense scowl he’s wearing is any indication. He doesn’t even turn to look at them. “Make yourself at home.”, Rachel adds and disappears in the kitchen.

“Welcome home!”, Donna singsongs, opening her arms.

“Thanks.”, Mike mutters and gets up from the couch to hug her.

“Hey.”, Harvey waves awkwardly.

“Hey.”, Mike smiles half-heartedly and sits back down.

 _Okay_. Tonight’s maybe not the right time to expose his little plan after all, Harvey thinks as he takes off his jacket and moves to sit down on the armchair opposite the couch.

“What do you want to drink?”, Rachel pops a head around the kitchen door. “Should I open one of the bottles you brought?”

“Sure. Wine’s fine with me.”, Harvey replies.

“Me too.”, Donna nods with a smile.

“Mike?”, Rachel asks.

“I’ll get myself a Coke.”, he replies and gets up from the couch.

“Wow.”, Donna whispers. “The tension’s so thick you could cut it with a knife.”, she snorts.

“That’s not funny.”, Harvey scolds.

“I got a call from Jessica Pearson.”, Rachel announces, coming back in the room with three wine glasses.

“Oh!”, Donna grins. “She got your application?”

“Yes, I’m meeting with her tomorrow.”, Rachel replies with a mirrored grin and walks back to the kitchen to get the bottle as Mike comes out with a can of Coke.

“She didn’t tell me.”, Harvey says.

“It’s not an interview.”, Rachel explains when she comes back. “It’s an informal meeting, she told me you weren’t hiring at the moment.”

“We’re always hiring.”, Harvey huffs. “You better be prepared, she doesn’t give second chances.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”, Rachel laughs nervously and pours three glasses of Bordeaux.

“So, Mike?”, Donna asks enthusiastically because she can’t stand the tension anymore. “How does it feel to be home? Is your head okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”, Mike replies and takes a sip.

“Okay…”, Donna nods and shoots Rachel a quizzing look.

“Mike.”, Rachel says softly, taking a seat next to him on the couch. “ _Please._ ”, she signs, moving her right hand across the centre of her chest when he looks up at her.

“Please _what_?”, Mike glares at her. “I can hear now, remember?”, he snaps.

“Come on.”, Rachel looks at him pointedly. “We have guests.”

“So what?”, he laughs bitterly. “I’m s’psed to pretend we’re fine?”, he gets up from the couch.

“Yes.”, Rachel replies. “Sit down, please.”

“I’m not 5 years old, Rachel. I’ll do what I want to do so s-s-s _top_ ordering me around!”, Mike spits and Harvey and Donna exchange an awkward look.

“If you’re going to be like that, you might as well go somewhere else.”, Rachel says rather calmly considering the way Mike just spoke to her. “We’re all here for you.”

“Oh, my bad!”, Mike sneers. “Sorry for ruining your evening! Really, I’m-“

“You know what?”, Donna gets up from the couch. “Maybe we should go.”

“No, you stay. I’ll go.”, Mike points at the couch and Donna automatically sits back down.

“Mike.”, Harvey steps in. “What’s wrong?”, he asks with a concerned look.

“Nothing.”, Mike replies dismissively. “Sorry, I’m just gonna go.”, he adds and walks to his bedroom.

“Mike, wait.”, Harvey gets up and follows him. “Mike…”, he pushes the bedroom door and stands in the doorway, waiting for Mike to invite him in. “Are you okay? Are you in pain?”

“No.”, Mike shakes his head and walks to the window.

“No you’re not okay?”

“No I’m not in pain.”

Harvey sighs and walks in the room, shutting the door behind him.

“Wanna talk about what’s going on?”, he asks, taking a seat at Mike’s mess of a desk. There are books, pictures, pens and notebooks, balled-up socks and even an old toothbrush scattered all over it.

“I’m sorry.”, Mike says after a moment.

“For what? The mess?”, Harvey chuckles and that causes Mike to turn around.

“Oh yeah, that too.”, Mike blushes. “Just ignore it, it’s uh, a work in progress.”

“Is that a picture of your parents?”, Harvey asks, grabbing a picture of a smiley couple.

“Yeah…”, Mike walks up to him.

“You look a lot like your father.”, Harvey says with an impressed look. “What were their names?”

“Johanna and James.”

“Does the J in your name stand for James?”, Harvey asks, putting the picture back on the pile of mess.

“No, it stands for Johannes.”, Mike replies and smiles when Harvey raises an eyebrow at how he pronounces it. “My mother was of Swedish origins. People called her _Jo_ hanna but it was really _Yo_ hanna.”, he explains.

“Do you speak Swedish?”

“I used to, when I was a kid, my mum used to speak Swedish to me, but I forgot.”, Mike replies with a sad smile and they both turn towards the door when they hear the apartment front door shut.

“What was that?”, Mike asks.

“I think the girls are gone.”, Harvey gets up and walks out of the bedroom. “Yep.”, he confirms seconds later. “Donna just texted me.”

“I’m sorry…”, Mike sighs.

“What happened? What were you guys fighting about?”, Harvey asks, walking back to the living room where Mike’s Coke and Harvey’s glass are still sitting on the coffee table along with the bottle of wine.

“I don’t even remember how it started.”, Mike huffs and slumps down into the couch. “I told her about Alex and she said I should never have accepted to work for your ex in the first place. She also said I should resign before he fires me and start thinking about what I want to do now I can hear.”, he grabs his Coke and takes a long sip.

Harvey doesn’t comment on that because he had actually planned on basically telling him the same thing. Not about Alex, but about his future.

“Is that what upset you?”, he asks cautiously.

Mike takes a deep breath and looks away before standing up.

“She said I should start looking for a real job.”, he exhales sharply and begins pacing the room. “I know my Grammy never wanted me to be photographer, she said it would be hard to earn a living out of it, she was worried about me and she was right, I don’t make a lot of money… But she accepted it eventually.”, he swallows thickly. “Three years ago, Rachel promised ‘er she would look after me, she thinks I don’t know but I was there when she did. My Grammy was ve’y sick and she made Rachel promise her to take care of me, I read it on their lis- _lips_.”, he nods at Harvey. “Right after my Grammy’s death, she got the job at her father’s firm and we moved here. The truth is I didn’t ask for Rachel’s p’otection, I didn’t ask her to make all these sacrifices… I feel terribly bad for what that promise put her through.”, he purses his lips. “I feel like I owe her more than I’ll ever be able to give her.”

“You don’t owe anything to your family, Mike.” Harvey says. “And you said it, you didn’t ask for it and frankly, though I don’t always agree with the way Rachel handles things, I don’t think she expects anything in return, she did it out of love.”

“Still.”, Mike sighs. “She did so many things for me… I don’t want to disappoint her, I… Her opinion matters so much to me.”, he gulps, his eyes now filled with tears. “She never lost faith in me, she pushed me, she encou’aged me, she always believed in me. And now, just because I can hear again, everything I will do will never be enough.”, he sniffs and wipes his nose with the back of his hand. “Suddenly, being a photographer isn’t a real job. I mean, I literally just got out of the fucking hospital and she’s already bugging me with my plans for the next 10 years!”, he snaps.

Harvey gets up and walks up to him.

“Mike…”, he says and places his hands on Mike’s hips. “She just wants what’s best for you. She didn’t formulate it well, but she’s happy for you. In fact, she’s so happy for you she can’t see anything but the many, many possibilities you now have.”, he smiles tentatively.

“Well, I wish she would let me see them and give me time to process everything before putting pressure on me.”, Mike purses his lips into a probably unintentionally cute pout.

Harvey chuckles and leans in, rubbing his nose together with Mike’s before pressing their lips together.

“Are you done sulking now?”, he asks when they break the kiss moments later.

“Donna asked Rachel to move in with her.”, Mike replies.

“I know.”, Harvey plants a quick kiss on Mike’s lips and walks back to the couch. “Rachel told you?”, he asks, patting the leather next to him.

“Yeah. That’s how it all started actually, I remember now…”, Mike sits down and grabs Harvey’s glass.

“Help yourself, brat.”, Harvey gives Mike’s thigh a playful slap.

Mike finishes the glass in one gulp and puts it back down on the table before moving closer to Harvey.

“She told me she said no because she didn’t want to leave me.”, he explains, resting his head on Harvey’s shoulder. “I told her I’d be fine on my own, that I’d find another apartment somewhere cheaper but… That’s when she said I’d need a real job for that.”

“Okay…”, Harvey shifts a little so they’re now facing each other and straightens up. “There’s something I want to talk to you about, something I came up with this afternoon. You don’t have to accept and I don’t want you to get upset, it’s merely a suggestion, just… it’s no big deal, really, I-“

“What is it, Harvey?”, Mike snorts and automatically stops when Harvey raises an unamused eyebrow. “Sorry.”, he clears his throat.

“So, in addition to my badass 17 million dollar condo…”, Harvey smirks. “… I’ve got this other apartment in Manhattan. It’s got one bedroom and a nice living room and an open kitchen, a large balcony, and a fireplace, even. It’s the first place I bought and though I obviously don’t use it anymore, I don’t want to sell it.”, he pauses and Mike frowns a little, wondering where this is all going. “It’s been rented for the past 2 years, by Alex’s agency, and right now it’s free.”

“Okay…”, Mike nods with a now full-on frown.

“Again, that’s an idea I just got, I’m not saying you have to accept but I’d like you to have it.”, Harvey says.

“What?!”, Mike gasps. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that if you need to move out of here, if you _want_ to move out of here, you can move in this apartment.”

“I… I don’t know what to say.”, Mike licks his lips. “I’m sure I can’t afford it.“

“Well, you normally wouldn’t be able to afford it, it might only have one bedroom but it’s almost twice as big as this place.”, Harvey gestures around the room. “But it’s not like I need the rent money so if you were interested in renting it, I’d take whatever you can give.”, he says casually, hoping it doesn’t sound like a big deal, hoping he used the right words.

“No.”, Mike shakes his head dismissively and for the first time in his life, Harvey realizes that not everything is up for negotiation, that he could lose this one should he want to even try. “I can’t accept. That’s… I mean, we’ve only known each other for a month and a half tops and, it’s too much, you can’t do that for me. Why would you do that for me?”, he asks, shaking his head in disbelief.

Mike is more baffled than surprised. From what he’s seen of him, Harvey seems like the kind of man who likes outrageous gestures. He’s got connexions, money, likes to impress his friends (cue Donna’s exclusive handbag or Neal’s not even released yet watch) and people in general (cue his hard-ass attitude), is a bit of a show-off. And though he knows he’s not showing off here, Mike wonders if Harvey’s really aware of what he’s offering.

“Why would I do that for you?”, Harvey frowns. “What’s so difficult to process? The fact that I would do that or the fact that I would do it for you?”, he asks.

“Both!”, Mike huffs. “I mean, you don’t even know how much I make. You know how much I’m barely able to give Rachel each week?”, he asks and doesn’t wait for Harvey’s answer because obviously he can’t know. “100 dollars.”, he says pointedly. “That’s 400 to 450 dollars a month and that’s on the good months. It’s usually more around 300. That’s _nothing_. I could rent a small place in Brooklyn with a roommate for 400 dollars. I guess your apartment isn’t in Brooklyn.”, he snorts bitterly. “Are you doing this for Donna? So Rachel can move in with her?”, he asks.

“What?!”, Harvey asks, wide-eyed. How on earth would Mike think that? There must be something seriously wrong with the way he’s presented the whole thing because even though he was sure that Mike would oppose some resistance, he thought Mike would understand that he’s trying to help him and why he’s doing so. “Okay. First of all, I don’t interfere in Donna’s relationships or in anybody’s relationships, ever. Second of all, even if that was something I did, Donna doesn’t need my help, she’s perfectly capable of getting what she wants. And trust me, she always does.”, he grabs the bottle and pours himself another glass. He needs it. “I told you I don’t care about the money and that I’d take whatever you can give.”, he says and empties the glass in one long gulp. “You know, my first idea was to offer it to you for free. Like I said, I don’t need the money. But then I thought you wouldn’t like the idea, that you’d get upset so I decided to not set a rent and take whatever you were able to pay.”, he averts his gaze for a moment to regroup because what he’s about to say, and which is probably going to come out wrong but hey better sorry than safe, needs focus and a little preparation. “Listen.”, he clears his throat. “I don’t give a single fuck if Donna and Rachel end up living together but I give a lot more than a single fuck about you and…”, he licks his lips. “I’ve never met anyone more deserving than you in my entire life. You deserve your own place, and a nice place. You deserve the chance to go back to school if that’s what you want to do, and I’ll say it again, you’d make a hell of a lawyer. You deserve happiness. You deserve everything in the world, Mike.”, he stops, a little breathless and a bit unsettled by Mike’s unreadable expression.

Mike swallows thickly and runs his shaky hands up and down his thighs. He did not expect that and he has no idea what to say.

“I, uh, I didn’t exactly, um, tell you that I…”, Harvey stammers and it’s so not Harvey that Mike instantly feels a little better. At least Harvey’s as embarrassed as he is. “I’m afraid I completely suck at… this _thing_.”, he says, gesturing between Mike and him. “Just the fact that you thought I was trying to get you a place so Donna could move in with Rachel says a lot.”, he chuckles and runs a hand through his still perfectly coiffed hair, messing it up. “Just… I’d be happy if you said yes, it’s a really nice apartment, I like it a lot, but it’s okay if you don’t want to, I… I guess I understand. Think of it as my way of telling you that I…”, he closes his eyes and exhales deeply. “That I do too.”, he adds, opening his eyes again.

Mike presses his lips together to suppress a smile and raises a questioning eyebrow.

“That you do what?”, he asks with a smirk.

“Is that a yes?”, Harvey cleverly dodges the question.

“You know I do.”, Mike moves closer to Harvey.

“About the apartment, Mike.”, Harvey shoots him a look, half-pointed half-amused.

“I love you.”, Mike says and climbs onto his lap before wrapping his arms around Harvey’s neck and pulling him into a kiss.

Harvey pulls him flush against him and kisses him back, thankful for the diversion and for the opportunity to finally hold Mike in his arms.

 

 

“Is this ABBA we’re listening to?”, Rachel asks with a disgusted face, an accusatory finger pointed at the stereo.

“Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose a lot… Come make your own contribution to this melting pot.”, Donna starts singing along to the music, her fist closed into a fake microphone. “I'm the street you walk, the language you talk… I am the city. The skyline is me and the energy… I am the city. The famous hotels and the cocktail bars and the funny smells and the turmoil, the cars and the people and the air that you're breathing is me. Yes, I am the city you let me be.”, she drops her fake mic and does a little hair flip. “Yes, it’s ABBA.”, she clears her throat and says very seriously as Rachel covers her mouth with a hand to hide her badly suppressed smile. “And I don’t want to hear any complaint about them. They were, _still are_ , the best pop group ever.”

“Oh my god!”, Rachel bursts out laughing. “Sorry…”, she snorts.

“It’s good to see you laugh.”, Donna smiles fondly. She would normally recite her well-rehearsed speech about how they defined pop music, how relevant they still are and well, scold Rachel for daring to mock them, but after an hour trying to comfort her, she’s too happy to see a smile on Rachel’s face to be mad at her poor taste in music.

“You actually have a very nice singing voice.”, Rachel nods, impressed.

“I know.”, Donna smirks. “I was made for Broadway. Unfortunately, my parents weren’t big fans of this career choice so I decided to take my acting talent in the courtrooms.”, she shrugs. “Seriously, though, are you feeling better?”

“Yeah.”, Rachel nods with a small smile. “You must think I’m stupid for…”, she sighs. “… for crying like a baby over a fight with my best friend.”

“Not at all, princess.”, Donna places a hand on Rachel’s thigh. “Mike hearing again is a lot to take in and it’s probably going to change a lot of things in the future, I understand how unsettling it can be for you. But if it’s that hard for you to fathom, imagine what Mike’s going through at the moment.”, she says and Rachel purses her lips. “You know, I thought about what we talked about yesterday and this morning.”, she stands up from the couch and walks to the kitchen. “I actually talked about it with Harvey.”, she chuckles and fills a kettle with tap water before putting it on the hot plate. “He said I was crazy for suggesting that we move in together after only a month.”, she turns to Rachel with a pout. “And I know he’s right, you said it too, it’s… too soon.”, she nods and grabs two mugs. “Anyway, I’m in love with you and I want you to know that my offer still stands, if you ever change your mind. My point is that I thought about you not wanting to _abandon_ Mike.”, she leans against the kitchen counter and exhales deeply. Now’s not the time to make Rachel cry again, she must be very careful with her words. “You’re not Mike’s mother.”, she states after a moment and pauses to gauge Rachel’s reaction. Apart from a slightly raised eyebrow, she doesn’t seem upset. “And even if you were, you’d have to let him go. He’s 27, or 28, or something. He’s almost 30 years old. He shaves, makes his own bed, knows how to cook himself dinner, has a job, a nice group of friends, he knows how the subway works… and isn’t a virgin anymore.”, she adds with a smile and Rachel can’t help a small smile at that either. “I’m not looking for my own interests here.”, she turns around and pours the boiling water into the two mugs. “I’m thinking about you and Mike.”, she pauses and places the two steaming mugs on a tray along with two teabags. “Letting him take his independence does _not_ mean abandoning him.”, she walks back to the living room and puts the tray down on the coffee table. “And I know you know it.”, she smiles and strokes Rachel’s knee. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, princess, but I think you’re afraid of losing Mike, you’re afraid that he won’t need you anymore.”, she holds up a hand when Rachel opens her mouth. “Just let me finish. I totally understand. Mike does that to people, he makes you want to take care of him, he’s the sweetest guy ever and you simply _can’t_ not fall in love with him. Hell, even Harvey did!”, she laughs. “It’s not your job to take care of him, because you’re his friend and not his mother but, most importantly, because he doesn’t _need_ anyone to take care of him.”

Rachel swallows audibly and looks down at her crossed legs before letting out a shaky sigh.

“You’re right.”, she says in a small voice. “You’re right.”, she looks up and nods, her eyes filled with tears. “I’ve always taken care of him, even when he didn’t need me to. I just had to.”, she starts sobbing. “I… I don’t love anybody like I love him. I loved him instantly the first time I met him. I was 10, he was 11. He accompanied his grandmother when she came to my parents’ house for her interview. I didn’t greet them, I was hiding in my room, I was upset because I didn’t want a nanny.”, she smiles at the memory. “But my mum wanted me to meet Edith, see what I thought of her and… when I stepped into the living room and saw this young boy smiling at me I knew I’d found the brother I’d always wanted.”, she gulps and rubs her hands together. “I didn’t know that he couldn’t hear me and Edith probably tried to tell me but I wasn’t paying attention, all I wanted was for this perfect boy to go play with me in my room.”, she recounts as Donna grabs her cup of tea and takes a small sip. “I dragged him upstairs by the hand and asked him what he wanted to play and when he started signing and shaking his head with a sad look, I just grabbed his hands and pulled him into a hug. The first thing I did when mum called us back was to tell her that I wanted her to hire Edith and that I wanted to enroll in a sign language course. That’s how it all started. I never left his side since then, except for the two-week vacations my parents would take each year.”, she licks her trembling lips. “So yeah, you’re right, I’m scared of losing him.”, she wipes her nose and Donna pulls her into a tight hug.

“With what you just told me? You’re never going to lose him, princess.”, Donna says, running a hand up and down Rachel’s back. “What you two have is unbreakable.”

“I… I’m so happy that he can finally hear, I’m…”, Rachel sobs. “It’s the best news I’ve ever received in my life and I want the world for him, you know? I was… Before you and Harvey arrived, we were talking about, um… He said he could get his own place and I that scared me. So I was mean to him and I told him he could not pay for his own place with what he makes today.”, she shakes her head, rubbing her nose on Donna’s neck. “I mean, he can do so much better than what he does and, especially now he can hear, and I… I just wanted to tell him that, that he’s the smartest person I know but instead I told him to get a real job!”, she buries her face in Donna’s shoulder and cries earnestly.

“You guys have been through so much and I bet it wasn’t your first fight.”, Donna kisses her hair. “I honestly don’t think he’s going to hold that against you.”

The room gets eerily quiet for a long moment, except for Rachel’s slowly decreasing sobs and when Donna finally pulls away, she smiles fondly at her and kisses her.

“Can we go to bed? I’m beat…”, Rachel asks against Donna’s lips.

“Sure. Let’s go.”, Donna replies and helps her get up.

 

 

“What if Rachel comes back?”, Mike pants in between heated kisses.

They’ve been making out on the couch for what feels like an hour (or maybe the most intense 5 minutes of Mike’s life) and the thought of Rachel walking in on them lying on the couch half-undressed and flushed just cropped up in his mind. And it is _not_ pleasing.

“She’s not coming back.”, Harvey replies in a whisper and he bites Mike’s jaw before attacking his neck.

“Sorry, what?”, Mike asks.

“She’s not coming back.”, Harvey repeats, still breathlessly but a little louder this time. “Donna said they were going to her place for the night.”, he adds and slides a hand in Mike’s boxers because now’s not the time for chatting.

“Ok’… _God_.”, Mike can’t help a moan and he bucks his hips, thrusting his hard cock in Harvey’s fist. “Harvey…”

Hearing himself in this particular situation is a little distracting, he thinks, closing his eyes. He needs to regain some control over his mouth, his mind, his groin, whatever has him make all these sounds. So he bites his bottom lip and tries to block everything out, the living room lights, Harvey’s heavy breathing, his own ragged breathing, to focus on the sensations instead. Because he can’t deal with both right now, it’s a little too much.

When he feels a thumb roaming over the tip of his cock, barely touching, just exploring and when Harvey pairs it with a teasing bite at his collarbone, Mike can’t help another, much louder moan and he freezes. God, he just couldn’t contain this one.

“Mike?”, Harvey looks up from Mike’s neck and asks before pressing a soft kiss on Mike’s cheek. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, sorry… I’m sorry, I…”, Mike nods and swallows thickly.

"What’s wrong?”, Harvey takes his hand out of Mike’s boxers and props himself on one elbow.

“Nothing.”, Mike shakes his head with a (fake) smile and he grabs Harvey’s hand and guides it back to his midsection. “I’m fine.”

Harvey narrows his eyes at him and purses his lips.

“Don’t lie to me.”, he says in a soft voice. “What is it? Are you in pain?”, he asks, moving his hand back up to Mike’s face.

“No, I’m fine! I swear. I… I just g-got a little dista- dist _ra_ cted, I…”, Mike stutters.

“By what?”, Harvey strokes his cheek.

“I’m just no used to all these… um… sounds, I… I’m sorry.”, he looks down and sighs. “I know I’m loud, I’m trying to-“

“Oh no, no, no. Don’t you dare contain yourself.”, Harvey cuts him by leaning in for a kiss. “I want to hear you.”, he adds, rubbing his still clothed erection against Mike’s thigh.

“But-“, Mike begins to say but a deep kiss and fingers wrapping around his cock cut him again. “Harvey…”, he moans into the kiss and reaches down for Harvey’s pants.

Harvey shifts to the side a little to give Mike room to undo his buckle.

He hadn’t planned for this evening to go like this. He was supposed to come back to the hospital and spend the night with Mike. Maybe watch a little TV, _with the sound on_ , talk about Harvey’s apartment on 5th, maybe even argue about it for a while and then go to sleep after a discreet make out session. But then the plan changed into a double date with Rachel and Donna at Mike’s place. And then it changed again and Harvey and Donna found themselves in the middle of a family fight. Seems like things never go the way they’re supposed to with Mike… he better get used to it. Surprisingly, he doesn’t mind as much as he normally does when his plans crash. He doesn’t mind at all, actually. Especially if it means ending up on that couch half on top of a pliant and flushed Mike unbuttoning Harvey’s pants. _Not at all_ , he thinks, speeding his movements on Mike’s leaking cock.

“H-hold on, please.”, Mike pants and buries his face in the crook of Harvey’s neck. “I… I… Please, hold on, I’m trying to…”, he moans when Harvey’s hand stills and squeezes his cock. “Let me…”, he finally manages to unzip Harvey’s pants and slides a hand in.

Harvey closes his eyes and exhales deeply when he feels Mike’s hand cup his rock hard erection. He should be impatient, he likes when things go fast, he normally likes it fast and rough, he likes when everything goes his way. He should be _annoyed_ by Mike’s tentative touch, by the time it took him to get Harvey’s pants open. But, surprisingly again, he’s not impatient, he’s not annoyed. He finds himself suddenly wanting to take his time, wanting to make it last, enjoying Mike’s timidity and unsure hands. And though he can’t verbalize it yet, though he can’t say it out loud, he can’t lie to himself: he’s in love with Mike and that’s what love does to you. Love is acceptance, patience, respect. Love is about testing your own boundaries and realizing they can be overstepped and that you can actually enjoy it. And also learn a lot about yourself in the process…

Harvey bites down a moan when Mike’s (cold) fingers find their way into his boxers. It’s not an ideal position for Mike to get him off, he doesn’t have full access and Harvey’s pants are still up. But it doesn’t matter, because Harvey’s not interested in climaxing just yet. He wants Mike to fall apart and the throbbing dick in his hand as well as the loud, muffled moans coming out of Mike’s mouth and vibrating against his own neck are telling him it’s imminent.

“You asked me what my favorite song was, uh?”, Harvey asks teasingly. “Well, as much as I like Simon and Garfunkel, it’s nothing compared to the beautiful music you make when you come.”, he gives Mike’s cock one last long stroke, one he knows will do the trick.

“Oh fuck!”, Mike gasps and he can’t contain his impending orgasm anymore. He tilts his head back against the armrest and empties himself in Harvey’s hands.

“That’s it…”, Harvey whispers. “Good boy.”

When Mike eventually comes to, a couple of minutes later, he lets out a long satisfied sigh.

“You…”, he says, nuzzling Harvey’s neck. “I… You didn’t…”, he stifles a yawn and wraps his still trembling fingers around Harvey’s cock.

“It’s okay.”, Harvey replies, pulling him into a kiss. “Tired?”

“Yes but-“

“It’s fine.”, Harvey smiles and presses a kiss on Mike’s nose. “Let’s go to bed. You’re still recovering, you need to rest.”

“I don’t want to move…”, Mike whines.

“Come on.”, Harvey gives his thigh a gentle slap. “I’m not carrying you to the bedroom.”, he adds, crawling over Mike to leave the couch.

“But you could.”, Mike yawns. “If you really loved me.”

Harvey narrows his eyes at him and shakes his head.

“Pull up your pants and I’ll carry you to the bedroom, _princess_.”, he says with barely hidden smile.

 

 

 

When Donna’s alarm comes off the next morning, she opens her eyes and finds herself alone in her gigantic round bed.

She spots Rachel’s clothes on the back of the chair in front of her vintage dressing table and pricks up her ears: no water running in the bathroom, Rachel must be in the kitchen or in the living room.

She stretches loudly and grabs her phone before slipping into a silk robe and dragging her feet to the main room.

“Hey, princess.”, she smiles sleepily when she sees Rachel sitting at the dining table, working on Donna’s computer. “What are you doing?”, she asks and raises an eyebrow at what she sees on the screen. “Apartment hunting?”

“Hey.”, Rachel looks up and smiles. “Well, I’m just looking…”, she grabs her coffee mug and takes a sip. “I want to make sure there are affordable places for Mike in case I decide to leave our apartment to move in with my girlfriend.”, she explains, hoping it comes out as cheeky but the blush creeping up her cheeks probably ruins the effect.

“Oh, I see…”, Donna smirks and gestures for Rachel to give her room on her lap. “Your girlfriend’s one lucky gal.”, she sits down on Rachel’s lap and wraps her arms around her neck. “Did you find a nice place for Mike?”

“Not yet.”, Rachel replies with a sad face. “Manhattan’s definitely not affordable. But I’m sure I can manage to convince him to let me pay for a part of his future rent.”

“Maybe you won’t have to…”, Donna says cryptically and places a quick kiss on her lips.

“What do you mean?”, Rachel asks.

“Nothing.”, Donna gets back up and shakes her head innocently. “I’m going to grab a shower.”

“Okay…”, Rachel frowns and watches her walk back to the bedroom before going to her computer. She knows it’s not _nothing_ but she’s got a feeling she’ll know what it’s about soon enough.

“One more thing.”, Donna pops her head around the doorframe. “You didn’t tell me what time your interview with Jessica Pearson was.”, she winks.

“10.”, Rachel exhales shakily. “And it’s not an interview.”

“You heard what Harvey said yesterday…”, Donna disappears behind the bathroom door.

Yes, she did. She just needs to convince herself it’s not an interview. Her father’s told her about Jessica Pearson and just the idea of meeting her scares the shit out of her so she better not even think about the fact that this might be her interview, aka her time to shine, aka her one and only chance to impress the famously feared female managing partner.

 

 

Harvey wakes up before his alarm is due to come off so he turns it off and engages in his morning routine as quietly as he can. Contrary to him, Mike has nowhere to be this early and he could use the sleep.

He takes a quick shower, goes to get the newspaper thrown on his doorstep around 5 this morning as usual and settles at the kitchen bar with a cup of coffee.

He hasn’t heard from Donna since her message telling him Rachel and her had gone back to her place and makes a mental note to make time for her today. For two people working at the same firm, they barely see each other during the week and he knows it’s his fault. Donna reaches out for him, sends him texts to ask him out for lunch, leaves messages with Ethan… he just never has the time. Or rather, never _makes_ the time. That used to piss Alex off to no end. He would always tell Harvey that it wasn’t about having the time but about _making_ the time. They used to argue a lot about how Harvey never made time for him, never took an afternoon off to spend time with him, never took the time to return his calls or messages. Back then, Harvey didn’t understand what was so upsetting about that, why his obsession with his job was driving Alex crazy, why Alex wasn’t as passionate about his own job as Harvey was. He hated when Alex would say they didn’t spend enough time together because he felt that Alex was giving ultimatums, was asking him to choose between his job and him. And that’s a choice Harvey never wants to have to make. Ever. But things are different now. So different, he realizes as he takes a sip from his coffee mug, that he’d rather stay in with Mike than go to work today. He’d rather spend the day introducing Mike to his favorite music artists than waste his time in court where he’s due at 9.

Speaking of which, it’s almost 7, he better get going.

Mike is still fast asleep when he comes in the bedroom so Harvey very carefully opens the doors to his walk-in closet and quickly gets dressed.

“Wow, is that where you hide all your armors?”, he hears coming from the bed.

He grabs a tie and turns around. Mike is grinning at him, propped on his elbow, his hair a complete mess.

“Did I wake you?”, he asks with a smile.

“No… I’m not tired anymore.”, Mike replies in a loud yawn.

“Yeah, right.”, Harvey chuckles and grabs a pair of shiny leather shoes before leaving his closet. “I have to go.”, he says, sitting on the edge of the bed. “There’s coffee in the kitchen and some… food, somewhere.”, he gestures generally. “Make yourself at home.”, he turns to Mike and says with a smile. “There’s a spare key on the counter.”

“Okay.”, Mike nods. “Thanks.”, he nods again and lies back down on the bed.

“Have you thought about my offer?”, Harvey stands back up and straightens his suits pants.

“I have.”, Mike replies. “Can I tell you my answer in a couple of days?”

“You can tell me whenever as long as you say yes.”, Harvey smirks and walks up to the headboard. “What’s in a couple of days?”

“Thinking about your offer made me think about my future.”, Mike replies. “And I need to do some research on that before I can accept, _or decline_ , your very generous offer.”

“Tell me you’re thinking about going to law school.”, Harvey cocks his head to the side.

“Nope.”, Mike shakes his head and wiggles his eyebrows. “Med school. I want to be an otolaryngologist, I want to be the American Dr. d’Alliet.”, he grins.

Harvey grins back at him and bends forward.

“You’re amazing.”, he cups Mike’s face and kisses his lips. “When did you have time to think about that?”, he straightens up and frowns.

“Yesterday, when we went to bed. You literally fell asleep the second your head touched the pillow, I didn’t.”, Mike smiles. “I watched you sleep.”

“That’s creepy.”, Harvey makes a face. “I thought you said you thought about you _future_.”

“Yes, that’s what I said…”, Mike smiles knowingly.

Harvey swallows thickly and shakes his head with a smile. A smile directed at the smiling, perfect, smart, funny, all around amazing man currently sitting on his bed and also directed at his own heart and brain. A smile that’s an unspoken “thank you, guys” to his inner self. Thank you for not freaking out, thank you for letting Mike in, thank you for having given me the strength to surpass my primal fears of getting attached. He’s not scared.

“I love you.”, he says, his voice barely a whisper. “See you later.”, he quickly adds and turns on his heel.

Mike closes his eyes and bites his tongue to suppress a happy giggle. He lowers back down on the pillows and pulls the covers up to his chin. For once in his life, he’s not afraid of the future. Whatever it brings, he’s ready. Ready for a change. Ready to face new challenges. _Life is fucking good_.

 

FIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm [SoSauffie](http://sosauffie.tumblr.com) on tumblr!


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